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Disciplining Children

Klippy said:
I agree with Chibi.

No door, no TV, no cellphone, no fun.
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Oh, my gosh. LOL

I had my door taken away before. I cut school one day in my freshman year of high school. NEVER AGAIN. I'm one of those people who love having my door locked and closed.

You have no ideas on how to make a standard that works either, do you? :p
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Ah, so you caught the point. ;)

I'm merely suggesting because something cannot be ceased completely doesn't mean drastic measures like some ridiculous legislation regarding spankings should be passed. It wouldn't even stop the abuse.
 
Mika said:
That's your opinion. In my opinion, kids should be spanked through clothing. See how it continues to differ?
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No o0 That works fine. You're spanking them, it stings, and you don't leave any bruisings.

I didn't say the child had to have a bare bottom. Go for clothing on if you want, but get your point across without breaching the no-blood, no-bruising, no-welts, no-long-term-marks "rule".
 
Yusshin said:
The DHS is crappy, then.

My dad got super angry at me once. He hit me in the face for saying "**** you" to him. CAS was at our door the following day, prepared to examine the situation and take us away if need be. I don't approve of hitting anywhere other than the buttocks out of my own experience as a child. That was the first time my dad struck me anywhere that wasn't the buttocks, and it's true, now whenever my dad raises his hand super-fast, I think he's going to hit me and I cover my face. But damn, did it work. Hell yes it did.

My fiance was belted by his parents and his teachers. This is abuse, as is striking in the face.

Spanking so that it stings on the buttocks, it does not bleed, and you leave no welts, bruising, or long-term marks is the best way to describe what the appropriate force to be used on a child should be.
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If I said "**** you" to my parents, I would be destroyed. There should be nothing that should ever really make you say that to them :| Like, ever. It's careless and unappreciative of what they went through for you. I mean, it's not like you didn't know it was coming, I'm sure :(
 
Chibi-chan said:
If I said "**** you" to my parents, I would be destroyed. There should be nothing that should ever really make you say that to them :| Like, ever. It's careless and unappreciative of what they went through for you. I mean, it's not like you didn't know it was coming, I'm sure :(
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I was six xD and I heard my aunt say that, so I thought it was correct. I have never, ever since said anything bad to my parents, because that is wrong :| I learnt respect that day.
 
Brolywrath said:
Oh, my gosh. LOL

I had my door taken away before. I cut school one day in my freshman year of high school. NEVER AGAIN. I'm one of those people who love having my door locked and closed.
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I'm actually 18 now and my parents still don't allow me to have my door closed. I don't argue with it, because as of this age, I'm a guest in their home that they allow to stay. They don't have any responsibility for me, but I have barely ever fought with my parents so they have no reason to kick me out and I have no reason to leave.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.
 
Brolywrath said:
I'm merely suggesting because something cannot be ceased completely doesn't mean drastic measures like some ridiculous legislation regarding spankings should be passed. It wouldn't even stop the abuse.
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That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.

Klippy said:
It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.
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If you agree with your parents and there's no abuse, I've got no problem with that statement. You live under their roof, you live by their rules. I don't however, think it should be a relationship built on fear or intimidation. You can in most cases, fix things without resorting to violence.

Sorry for editing my posts so frequently, it's rather hard to keep up with you all on a bad internet connection :P
 
Mika said:
That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.



If you agree with your parents and there's no abuse, I've got no problem with that statement. You live under their roof, you live by their rules. I don't however, think it should be a relationship built on fear or intimidation. You can in most cases, fix things without resorting to violence.

Sorry for editing my posts so frequently, it's rather hard to keep up with you all on a bad internet connection :P
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You are talking really extreme here. :|
 
Klippy said:
I'm actually 18 now and my parents still don't allow me to have my door closed. I don't argue with it, because as of this age, I'm a guest in their home that they allow to stay. They don't have any responsibility for me, but I have barely ever fought with my parents so they have no reason to kick me out and I have no reason to leave.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.
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I agree. I'm 21 years old; a lot more mature. I did have a talking back phase and it didn't work out too good. lol

Generally I was a good kid. I had earned a lot of gadgets by just going with what they said. I can't even recall getting hit.

I'm so old I remember when my mom got me a gameboy color back in 1999 with the yellow version for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVER.

That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.
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Abusing a child is a felony offense in all U.S states. It's not swept under anything.
 
Brolywrath said:
I agree. I'm 21 years old; a lot more mature. I did have a talking back phase and it didn't work out too good. lol

Generally I was a good kid. I had earned a lot of gadgets by just going with what they said. I can't even recall getting hit.

I'm so old I remember when my mom got me a gameboy color back in 1999 with the yellow version for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVER.
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I actually talked back to my mom a few weeks ago. I'm a pretty sarcastic person and she is really sensitive when I make jokes, despite me making the same exact jokes for the last 5 years. So she got all offended and she said something about how rude and cruel I am and I said, "Oh geez, shut up..." and my step-dad got all mad and so did I, haha.

But we got over it quickly, since that's the first time we've ever fought really. :)
 
Brolywrath said:
Abusing a child is a felony offense in all U.S states. It's not swept under anything.
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If it's considered abuse. I've seen more than one parent get away with what I would view as physical abuse [i.e. welts on the child etc] because they had chosen to 'spank' their children. :x I know this probably sounds farfetched to you but I have done my research on it and while it's not anywhere near the majority, it's not a small minority in terms of people taking advantage of that definition to get away with things they shouldn't.

There are other factors that contribute to that sort of thing, there always are, but isn't this something that could be fixed? Is there really no way to find a common definition for the sake of protecting kids? :c At least maybe a little more than we are?
 
Yusshin said:
You can't cause welts on a child if you use your hand - only an object, and using objects = abuse right off the bat.
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If you hit hard enough with a hand yes you can cause welts. :P I play fought with my friends [Wet Slapping FTW] all the time growing up and we'd purposely hit eachother hard enough to leave welts.

Again, on the objects, a lot of parenting seminars now-adays recommend using an item like a wooden spoon or a plastic spatula because it's less abusive than the hand. :o

I guess I'm curious, do you guys think there should be a more standard definition on what spanking is/is not? Who should write it if you think there should be that definition?
 
Mika said:
If you hit hard enough with a hand yes you can cause welts. :P I play fought with my friends [Wet Slapping FTW] all the time growing up and we'd purposely hit eachother hard enough to leave welts.
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If that's true, then you're hitting too hard. Obviously. A good parent would know that.
 
Yusshin said:
If that's true, then you're hitting too hard. Obviously. A good parent would know that.
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Again, that's your opinion. And to some extent, isn't it true you can't always know if you're hitting too hard or too soft. Hit too soft, it doesn't make an impact right? hit too hard, you're going over the top.

But, again, isn't it true that what you believe is 'too hard' is 'just right' for another parent who is a 'good parent'? :o
 
Mika said:
But, again, isn't it true that what you believe is 'too hard' is 'just right' for another parent who is a 'good parent'? :o
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Nope, leaving welts is just sadistic, and there's something wrong with a parent who believes otherwise. Welts can have your children taken away, and there's a reason behind that.
 
I was whooped as a kid.
Never got hit hard enough to bruise or bleed, but it still hurt. It wasn't supposed to tickle.
I never feared my parents, as in I wasn;'t afraid to be around them. I knew they didn't want to hurt me. They love me.


I was told to stand in the corner. I was told to write a punishment a hundred times. They'd take away TV from me. etc etc etc

only If i was being really bratty and bad would They get all "don't make me spank you >:C"

Worked wayy better thank taking away toys, pffft when you're a kid, You'll play with ANYTHING xDD
Of coarse now I;m older, that doesn't work anymore. Taking things away. oh yeah no fun. not like when i was five and i could have fun with a cardboard box D:
And I still get told to stand in the hall. if i don't do my chore after being told x many times

Not fun, having to stand around all quiet . I can't do that "standing still" thing. :C

whatever zskjhdkxzc

Some kids need the parents to spank the devil out of them. but I really don't think its nessesary to use unless like, they really really get bad oAo
 
My mom would make food that I hated as punishment...well, it worked for me. :|

Nowadays I just don't disobey my parents because I've become more considerate to their feelings, and don't want to disappoint them.
 
It was actually a struggle for me to read all the last 3.5 pages of this.
I seriously do not believe much of it at all.
Kids need (and Ill say it again) PROPER discipline.
They're allowed to get away with way too much stuff these days, because they know they can call the cops if there parents so much as touch them the tiniest bit to hard.
What they need is to be seriously flogged.
Who cares if they get a little bit scared of their parents, they'll almost never do something wrong again.
The most powerful tool for anyone in a position of authority, whether it be a parent, cops, or leaders of any sort, is fear.
Damn kids these days need to harden up a bit. In my opinion.

Flame away.
 
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