Disciplining Children

[Sotto Voce]

They're allowed to get away with way too much stuff these days, because they know they can call the cops if there parents so much as touch them the tiniest bit to hard.
What they need is to be seriously flogged.
Who cares if they get a little bit scared of their parents, they'll almost never do something wrong again.
The most powerful tool for anyone in a position of authority, whether it be a parent, cops, or leaders of any sort, is fear.
Damn kids these days need to harden up a bit. In my opinion.

Flame away.

Agreed. Every kid needs a good spanking when needed. So as long as the parents aren't going over the top. My mother broke a wooden spoon on my behind once; had everything taken out of my room for a week except my dresser and mattress (these happened when I was young, obviously); had to write "I will not (insert bad thing I did here)..." a couple hundred times (on a couple occassions); etc. and both my brothers and I have turned out to be good kids and we are a very close family.

I rarely hear of young children getting spanked, getting the soap/hot pepper in their tongues, or whatever other punishment we (speaking for other forum members) had; and I have a friend that works at an after-school program and she works with 5th graders and younger and they are so RUDE and they LACK RESPECT for adults and don't even get me started on their LANGUAGE. I'm a senior in high school, a 6-12th grade school, and the things coming out of the mouths of the 6th graders coming from the elementary school is HORRENDOUS. They're spouting off things, words my class never learned til 7th or 8th grade. Since our old principal left--right after our class moved on to the high school--and rules and punishment there have become way too lenient. We had consequences for poor choices we made and they never happen anymore, and I am very disappointed.

I can only imagine what I'll have to put up with when I start teaching... I am not a super-strict person by any means (I aide for a few teachers here--very good ones--and the kids love me) but I am not overly-soft either. I know when and how to put my foot down, and actually, I put up with a lot of crap from kids--I may be a teeny-bit too soft, but that's my personality--I let people walk all over me too much.

I feel like a hypocrite now... .-.

Sorry, went a little off-topic! ^_^;

Kids these days have it far too easy and parents have softened up too much, in my opinion.
And I'm not going to lie--I am a little afraid of having kids now, because no matter how good a mother I may be, they're still going to pick up this crap from other kids and their parents...
But then again, I think I can overcome that and apply my mother's parenting ways.

It'll all work out somehow.

Sorry, end of rant!

 

[Yusshin]

I've seen five-year-olds singing songs about rape and violence, filled with swear words and other crude material.

The parents laugh because it's "cute", but that kind of thing shouldn't be acceptable. Those are some bad parents in all honesty :| The kid's going to go to school thinking it's fine, and never be punished for spurring slander every which way and that.

It's kinda depressing.

 

[Zet]

I saw some woman discipline her kid at the checkout counter at a supermarket today. She told him not to bite her any more and than came the slap, but thankfully the kid didn't cry too loud.

 

[hiphiphippo]

i saw some people mentioning kids living in fear of being spanked, so i thought i'd share some of my own experiences

i'll be referring back to my previous post, so here:

when my dad gets mad, he goes nuts. he doesnt spank any of his children unless he's extremely mad. and so from stories, i know that my dad spanked me pretty badly just once, which worked (i think it was on the butt, i'm not sure). i dont even remember it happening but it must have been pretty scary. he never spanked me or any of my siblings more than once or twice

nowadays, i understand that my dad can be very mean and powerful, so i'll avoid doing certain things in fear of punishment
as a teen, i'm sure my dad won't be hitting me anymore, but i still fear being yelled at by him from seeing him yell at others

the kind of fear that i have for my dad is just like "i shouldn't do ----, dad wouldn't approve" so it's not very major
i'm still quite close with my dad, and i love him


i understand that some kids have been treated harsher which may cause more fear, but i'm just sharing my experiences

also, idk if it's been mentioned before, but if a child gets spanked at a young age like me, they may not remember getting spanked but will still keep the discipline

 

[Trap-Eds]

Shoot, I swore I posted in this thread. /darndatabaseerrors

But anyway, to disipline my kids I waould warn them and be stern at first, then if they continue being naughty or whatever I'd spank 'em. Or give them the evil eye, if we're in public.

 

[Meowth! That's right!]

You know what really annoys me is parents who never spank or even yell at their kids, let them throw tantrums in public, give them candy everyday and then when their assh*le kids are running wild at school and mouthing off to everyone they blame their bad behaviour on "ADD".

 

[Guillermo]

You know what really annoys me is parents who never spank or even yell at their kids, let them throw tantrums in public, give them candy everyday and then when their assh*le kids are running wild at school and mouthing off to everyone they blame their bad behaviour on "ADD".

As I'm still only 15, I still classify myself as a child. However, I feel much worse about myself when my father or grandparents say that they're disappointed in me rather than yell. My father has never yelled at me, or even hit me. I was always a good kid and I still am. If a kid decides that he/she is going to throw a tantrum, they will throw a tantrum, regardless of what the parent does.

Babies are babies. They don't know right from wrong and they rely on their parents to set a good example. However, letting a child learn on their own is also a good example.

 

[Rich Boy Rob]

No. It's illegal to hit children in the UK anyway. The only thing it encourages is fear of being hurt, they aren't learning why it is wrong. Being given a talking to is a far far far better option in my opinion.

As I'm still only 15, I still classify myself as a child. However, I feel much worse about myself when my father or grandparents say that they're disappointed in me rather than yell. My father has never yelled at me, or even hit me. I was always a good kid and I still am. If a kid decides that he/she is going to throw a tantrum, they will throw a tantrum, regardless of what the parent does.

Babies are babies. They don't know right from wrong and they rely on their parents to set a good example. However, letting a child learn on their own is also a good example.

This is exactly how I feel. Children live to please their parents, and will feel bad if they have been told they have disappointing.

 

[piece of something]

i think it's fine to discipline a child using physical force so long it's appropriate for the offense and not overdone...i was spanked growing up and gotta say it worked better than just about everything else xD;

 

[Rich Boy Rob]

i think it's fine to discipline a child using physical force so long it's appropriate for the offense and not overdone...i was spanked growing up and gotta say it worked better than just about everything else xD;

How can you tell it worked better? To make a genuinely valid comparison, you'd have to be brought up from scratch twice, which is of course impossible.

 

[piece of something]

How can you tell it worked better? To make a genuinely valid comparison, you'd have to be brought up from scratch twice, which is of course impossible.

ah, fair enough...totally agree...when i say it worked better i mean nothing else made me not want to do bad than knowing a potential smack was at the end of it :P

 

[Rich Boy Rob]

ah, fair enough...totally agree...when i say it worked better i mean nothing else made me not want to do bad than knowing a potential smack was at the end of it :P

That's what I was talking about earlier. I don't think fear tactics should be employed in parenting.

 

[piece of something]

That's what I was talking about earlier. I don't think fear tactics should be employed in parenting.

okay, that's fine, i can imagine why'd you feel that way. personally i don't have a problem with fear being used...you can still love and respect someone you fear tho in my case it was more fear of the consequences of the action than the person dishing it out...i ended up fearing doing bad, which to me isn't a horrible outcome. i think fear is natural in influencing behavior for a lot of things in life not just for the topic at hand.

 

[ANARCHit3cht]

I don't really think that spanking is good, or even necessary. I've known many a people who far well behaved than I, and they never got a spanking; whereas I have.

Also, when my cousin repeatedly ran way, smoke and drank.. my aunt just called the cops. They told her she could do whatever she felt was in reason to keep him at home. They watched as she smacked him around and they only thing they said was nothing to the face/groin. But.. he is still the same person he always was.

So.... things like spanking tend to be ineffective, and probably just inspire more rebellion to get back at the !@#$% who hit me.

 

[FaithInMe]

I dont agree with that at all Im afraid.
Had your cousin been disciplined properly a lesson would have be learnt, in my opinion.
Obviously wasnt beaten hard enough.
I know I learnt my lessons the hard way.

 

[Kenpari]

I believe if the child is very disobedient and acts up a lot then it's necessary for physical discipline to be used. Sometimes a kid just doesn't learn unless you beat it into them(and I'm not talking about any thing extremely violent here, in case "beat" sounds bad to you). I was spanked when I was young and got the belt when I was older, and it was the same with my parents and grandparents(but my grandma's family got the stick).

 

[Chiku Hamasaki]

Well to be honest, i have been disciplined like that. Although you could say that my mother never once used her hand. Unless she was using a fist. It's come to my attention that a lot of parents seem to think this behavior is necessary when in fact its not. Yeah, okay, on the bottom sure. Give it a go, if that's the only way that that certain child will understand, then fine. But they should never .. EVER grab house hold objects to hurt the child more, thinking it will help. It doesn't. To be honest, I'm rebellious towards my mother now, i refuse to let her hurt me in that manner anymore.

Of course the problem now is, if i put my arm up or something for self-defense, she'll just get more pissed and throw things. &when she's in a good mood, which only happens when she's about to leave for work or when a friend is over, she talks about her mother.. My grandmother, did that to her. Then she'll speak of other people, saying something about them breaking the family chain. I think all the parents that have been hurt in such a rude manner, should break the chain, yes. But bahh, my mom is being a hypocrite ;__;

I plan on only spanking my child with my hand, and only on the bottom. I don't know how far that will get me. Considering the fact that all kids are different.. But i will never get as bad as my mother. I refuse. That's just plain straight out cruel.

 

[Guillermo]

I dont agree with that at all Im afraid.
Had your cousin been disciplined properly a lesson would have be learnt, in my opinion.
Obviously wasnt beaten hard enough.
I know I learnt my lessons the hard way.

But as it goes, you can't speak for the entire world. One person who was raised properly from harsh discipline and being thrown through doors doesn't make hitting people right.

 

[FaithInMe]

I wasnt speaking for the entire world.
I said, 'in my opinion', how could I single my own opinion out any more?
As it were, it doesnt make it wrong either.

 

[perfectmonster]

I agree with Yusshin, spanking your child can't hurt them so much they are hospitalised. I got spanked a lot when I was a kid (But I was a stupid kid, so I deserved it...) I don't blame my parents, they have to do what they have to do. The only time I think they went over the top was when my mum literally washed my mouth out with soap. It was ick, tasted horrible, and I nearly swallowed the bar. But she realised she had gone to far and apolagised appropriatley. Overall, I think spanking is sometimes necessary, but anything over that is just plain sick. :D *Ends rant*