Serious Don't read if self harm bothers you.

[Figure]

So for several years now I have been torn on the celebration of transgender people. Never against, I just didn't have enough information to take a definitive stance and voice my opinion. I know these first couple of sentences will come off as ignorant, probably even more so considering I am a straight white male, but please read through this before passing judgement. When I need to be informed I use Google Scholar and read actual peer reviewed articles not whatever BuzzFeed bullshit is being peddled out. I have known for quite some time that the attempted suicide rate of transgender people is significantly higher than the "general population" but I always thought it was more due to the changing of hormones than anything else.

After reading several articles, I will link on request if anyone is interested, I realize how wrong I was and from here on I will be doing a better job in appreciating the mental fortitude it takes to make such a decision. The reason I say that I was torn was because I didn't know if it was appropriate to encourage something that led to such a high suicide rate, but I never really considered that the people struggling with the choice and never making it COULD have just as high of rates if not higher. From what I have learned is what leads to such severe depression and severe actions is the lack of support, love, and access to proper medical care and it broke my heart and I feel sick. Sick of myself for not learning these truths sooner and sick of the people who could be so heartless to turn away family and loved ones for making a decision that they could never comprehend. I think the reason this never occured to me is because I don't think gender transitioning is a bad thing and it blows my mind that people can be so cruel to people who are just trying to be their true selves and find happiness.

So for anyone thinking of making this choice and anyone who has know that I support you and I am sorry that it took me this long. I hope things will be better and more people will become supportive of this life choice so that everyone can feel loved and happy in their skin. If I have used any terms incorrectly, please let me know.

 

[Roni]

i myself am a straight male and will never be able to fathom a lot of things these souls go through. but coming from an open-minded, safe-space environment such as my province's state university, i've come to thankfully be exposed and educated to these things at an early point in my life, for which i'm thankful. i wanna say a couple stuff but i haven't done much peer reviewed reading myself. please let me know as well if i'm using wrong terms. will gladly edit.

i've never seen it as being about the hormonal changes. it's all about how society sees them. we're sadly in an era where the world has still yet to fully accept transgendered folks as a normal part of society. granted it's a lot better nowadays than it used to be, but it's still a pretty long ways to go.

it's especially rough here in the Philippines where family is tight-knit and religion is deeply ingrained. i have a good bunch of friends in the LGBT community who still haven't come out to their parents, hide Pride march photos, keep relationships super private, etc. because they know they'll be incarcerated if it ever slips out. i remember my own family arguing that a transgender woman shouldn't qualify for Miss Universe because "she's not even a real woman what the hell", then dismissing any points i try to make. i try not to dwell with those disagreements with them too much, else we'd be fighting everyday. ridiculous stuff to have to deal with.

it's inevitable that being treated/viewed like that at a constant basis would lead to anxiety and depression to a lot of folks. coupled with the default anxiety and depression already brought about by the capitalistic world, the mind can only take so much before snapping.

i cannot wait for the day that the generation of acceptance overpowers the older, more traditional minds. i believe it's definitely coming, but it can't come soon enough. in the meantime i'll do my part and educate however i can.

you're a good guy Figure. keep that understanding, open-mindedness with you every step of the way. it can only lead to good things.

 

[gimmepie]

Honestly, I wish more people would bother to actually learn and make up their own minds about things like this instead of just believing whatever they're told to. I can only imagine that the world would be at least a little better as a result. Good on you, and I hope that choosing to make this public has a positive net benefit for others also.

 

[Figure]

i myself am a straight male and will never be able to fathom a lot of things these souls go through. but coming from an open-minded, safe-space environment such as my province's state university, i've come to thankfully be exposed and educated to these things at an early point in my life, for which i'm thankful. i wanna say a couple stuff but i haven't done much peer reviewed reading myself. please let me know as well if i'm using wrong terms. will gladly edit.

i've never seen it as being about the hormonal changes. it's all about how society sees them. we're sadly in an era where the world has still yet to fully accept transgendered folks as a normal part of society. granted it's a lot better nowadays than it used to be, but it's still a pretty long ways to go.

it's especially rough here in the Philippines where family is tight-knit and religion is deeply ingrained. i have a good bunch of friends in the LGBT community who still haven't come out to their parents, hide Pride march photos, keep relationships super private, etc. because they know they'll be incarcerated if it ever slips out. i remember my own family arguing that a transgender woman shouldn't qualify for Miss Universe because "she's not even a real woman what the hell", then dismissing any points i try to make. i try not to dwell with those disagreements with them too much, else we'd be fighting everyday. ridiculous stuff to have to deal with.

it's inevitable that being treated/viewed like that at a constant basis would lead to anxiety and depression to a lot of folks. coupled with the default anxiety and depression already brought about by the capitalistic world, the mind can only take so much before snapping.

i cannot wait for the day that the generation of acceptance overpowers the older, more traditional minds. i believe it's definitely coming, but it can't come soon enough. in the meantime i'll do my part and educate however i can.

you're a good guy Figure. keep that understanding, open-mindedness with you every step of the way. it can only lead to good things.

Thank you for your insight, much appreciated.

Honestly, I wish more people would bother to actually learn and make up their own minds about things like this instead of just believing whatever they're told to. I can only imagine that the world would be at least a little better as a result. Good on you, and I hope that choosing to make this public has a positive net benefit for others also.

That was my hope in making this thread, hopefully to spread awareness to people like me who were unaware or who haven't really given it any thought. It is too easy to overlook things that don't affect us on a daily basis.

 

[Corrin]

You're one of very few who decided to do research and reading and learn more and it's really appreciated. As for me, I'm perpetually in the closet because my family would never accept it, they have a hard time with the fact I'm a lesbian.

I'm lucky though. There are those who have been kicked out and abused outright, even as teens. There's parents kicking out 16 year olds solely because of their lgbt identity. These things are the reason for such a high rate of suicide.

 

[Figure]

You're one of very few who decided to do research and reading and learn more and it's really appreciated. As for me, I'm perpetually in the closet because my family would never accept it, they have a hard time with the fact I'm a lesbian.

I'm lucky though. There are those who have been kicked out and abused outright, even as teens. There's parents kicking out 16 year olds solely because of their lgbt identity. These things are the reason for such a high rate of suicide.

That is a lot of what I read, people being kicked out with little to nothing and struggling to survive. There is a big issue with drug and sex work because of the lack of options for transgender people being kicked out and few job opportunities. Then there is the spread of HIV this way and poor healthcare for the people that need it. I'm sorry to hear that your parents won't accept it. I don't know how many times I heard from my dad that he was, "Worried I would end up being gay" and wouldn't love me if I was. So much for unconditional love.

 

[Corrin]

That is a lot of what I read, people being kicked out with little to nothing and struggling to survive. There is a big issue with drug and sex work because of the lack of options for transgender people being kicked out and few job opportunities. Then there is the spread of HIV this way and poor healthcare for the people that need it. I'm sorry to hear that your parents won't accept it. I don't know how many times I heard from my dad that he was, "Worried I would end up being gay" and wouldn't love me if I was. So much for unconditional love.

That's awful! Parents who would only love their child if they conform to their standards frankly should not have children.
My dad said something similar years ago because my brother wasn't dating any girls. He was like "if he's gay he's out of here". Thankfully he's changed quite a bit.