"huh? what the? where am i?" ryan tried to jump up but realized he was latched tight onto a table.
ryan began to panic, where was the ballroom? where was that strange cop that had beaten him up and shot him? where was kayleigh? on second thought, it didn't really matter to him anymore...
he looked up and saw a bright fluorecant light pointing down at him. then a man's head apeared in front of his...
"george clooney? in a scrub? this is really weird..."
"shut up, we're operating here (cut to a comercial sam, do it, now... for the sake of all that is still good left in the world sam, turn the camera off!)"
the camera man turned the camera off.
"that's more like it... alright boy, so you're on ER... we're taking some bullet out of you that a whacko cop shot into you. it could be lethal, it was really close to one of your lungs... and the thing is, i really don't know how to operate... i'm just an actor, so bare with me if this doesn't really work or something..."
"and we're on in 3.... 2.... 1...." said sam
"don't you go dieing on me kid!" george yelled in ryan's face "nurse prepare the jumpstart! 5 gigawats should do it!"
"wait a second... that's a little too AHHHHHHHH!"
"fwef... that was close, but we've gotta hurry! pass me that saw!"
"actually, george, i don't think you should cut me open with table sawwwwwawouchholycrap!"
"wow, this' bloody, but look! there's the bullet!" ryan saw the saw go up and come back down hard
"wait... nevermind... that was just a kidney..."
*groans in pain*
"hmm... o, that's right the lungs are up there aren't they?"
"ya... why don't you start at the bullet hole..." gasped ryan
"shh... you're suposed to be out cold... nurse! get me the long tweazers!"
*digs through ryan's torso and finds the bullet*
"ah ha! i've found it! alright you can go home now kid"