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Gamer Obscurea; Games in Hiding

955
Posts
12
Years

  • 51XGRMGBNML.AC_SX215_.jpg


    Stubbs the Zombie
    in
    "Rebel without a Pulse"
    Xbox, PC


    I don't aim to disappoint; this is one of those buried gems that not a lot of people heard about or know of this titles existence nor have I when I first learned of it.

    When you play a general game involving zombies, your general consensus is "Kill, slaughter, survive" and games like Left 4 Dead, State of Decay or the more famously known one Resident Evil sets us up with this.

    This is one of the few titles that put's the whole survival horror aspect in reverse... in more ways than one; you are the zombies or zombie looking for brains. There have been other games where this has been explored with resource management and what not, but this title explores it in a more creative sense.

    So what do you do in this game?.... Your a zombie, you eat brains while trying to find out how you became a zombie in the first place. When you eat someones brain, they become zombies too and hep you clear a path to your next objective, you can shove one of them to another human, summon the horde to you with a whistle and use your decaying body as a weapon from controlling humans, using your guts as bombs and, immaturely, letting out very potent gas to stun the living to take them down. The game takes place in a futuristic 1950's city called Punchbowl where everything is advanced. Robots catering to our hand and feet, hover cars, no pollution or crime and so on. We get resurrected and get hungry.

    From here it's low-brow humor that not even 'Family Guy' would touch or show on TV. How does the game handle? Like it's noted above on the box cover, the game was built in the same engine used in Halo and it shows, from the vehicles you can somehow control as a zombie to the rest of the games aesthetics. It feels like the original Halo in nature, just reskinned. That aside, this is an awesome, kickass game that has done something not only unique but something new and refreshing!

    stubbs-the-zombie-in-rebel-without-a-pulse-image323600.jpg

    .....Anyone got Thriller?​

    NOW, for the sad news... Sort of.
    There was a sequel in the works until Wideload, the company who created this, closed their doors in 2016 by Disney... How?
    Well, Disney bought out Wideload to work in Disney interactive and that was pulled apart and they we're reassigned to work and make Mobile games before kicking their up and coming rear ends to the curb and shutting them down in 2016. If you want to know about the mess Disney makes, head over to youtube and look for Defunct land, they cover rides mostly, but have a very detailed history on what's going on behind the scenes at the massive entertainment resort and a fun way to kill 20 minutes.

    If you see this title in a used, retro game shop, I recommend picking it up, fast and show the human race its days are numbered.... LET'S START RESIDENT EVIL FOLKS BEFORE IT BEGAN IN RACOON CITY! XD
     
    955
    Posts
    12
    Years
  • 300px-ShadowgroundsBoxart.jpg

    Shadowgrounds

    While this isn't an XBOX title, I've been busy and wanted to put something on here, so instead of throwing something on, I wanted to show this barely heard of title. So! What is Shadowgrounds? You could say it's a twin-stick shooter that kicked off the other twin-stick shooters. You could say it rips off of the Alien Breed games. You could even say the plot behind it sounds as bland as bland sandwiches go. More bland than Bologna on rye with no mayo or other ingredients to make a sandwich.

    You would only be partially correct.

    001104r01.jpg

    Jill, where did they find the weapons cache?

    Released back in 2006, this was another title that really wasn't as popular nor was it really sought after because it was a twin-stick shooter except you had to use a keyboard and mouse and I've been there more than once. You can't really do much with a twin stick shooter in terms of game play unless you bring something new to the table in terms of mechanics that haven't already been done... This title sort of did.

    0000002888.1920x1080.jpg

    Adjust the heat to medium, check the center and your done! Someone tell Goku Grubs on!

    Aside from the game taking on a horror genre, the title had plenty to offer in terms of content. All of your weapons we're upgradeable, there is sort of a stealth system in place to get behind enemies, where you damage them matters such as getting an attack in from behind does a lot of damage when hitting them from the front did little. You had enemies that could avoid the motion tracking radar if you we're careful, you could bring your friends in here to help you take on the swarm of these things!

    In short this is a solid game, the mechanics are solid, there is no added gimmicks, just you being a badass as you fight your way through these aliens which sort of leads me to the story.

    Your a mechanic being sent out to fix a power issue going on with a nearby lab. On approach, your truck get's hit by aliens that look more like genetically enhanced zerg with mechanical implants and guns... Mostly guns; and they attack the lab looking for something. In order to survive, you begin fighting your way out traditionally with guns, gear and tactics as you begin to uncover a sinister plot in the lab itself.... Ok, that's as basic and bland as the story get's, but the game's mechanics are solid, the story is as cheesy as action stories get but it's still a fun ride to play through. There was actual thought put into this during the time of it's release and it shows. Even more so to earn it's own sequel Shadowgrounds survivor which is basically "Ghostbusters 2," It's there and it's good but it isn't what your expecting.... Moving on.

    If you do decide to pick up this title, a few words of warning. I did say this was your basic twinstick shooter to an extent, but this title did not support gamepads or controllers at the time. While this might be a big turn-off from some people, it really shouldn't because the game is still fun to play and the keyboard controls aren't really that bad. I've had fun playing through and beating this and I'm sure anyone else who picks this up and can get past the first 5 minutes might enjoy it too.

    The game is now on sale for a dollar over steam as of the date of this post.
     

    Emilia

    ~ free falling
    423
    Posts
    4
    Years
  • I'd like to mention a few, however the only thing is that I have no idea if some of these are popular or not.
    I always assume they aren't because nobody ever knows about them when I bring them up :(
    I'd also like to mention that I'm not good at explaining things so I might do a terrible job... I also provided wiki links for those who wanna learn more.
    To be honest my explanations reeaaaally suck so the wikis will be a lot more helpful. :c
    (..Looking at this wall of text after typing it all..I think I'll put it all in a spoiler lol)

    Spoiler:
     
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    955
    Posts
    12
    Years
  • Thank you Meyling for contributing!

    Goblin_Commander_Cover.jpg

    Goblin Commander : Unleash the Horde
    Xbox, PS2, Gamecube​

    I can hear the 'Goblin Slayer' fans with heavy breathing...

    Alright, before I get started, does ANYONE remember 'Tooth and Tail?' It's an RTS title where you lead an army of animals to decide who gets to eat who when they lack the invention of pastry goods, vegetables and peanut butter... It's an RTS where the controls are mapped and designed for controllers and simplified for any one person to pick-up and play. Why am I bringing this up? Because Goblin Commander is a heavier far-cry to this title though it is often forgotten.

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    Buckle up; We're in for a fight.

    Goblin Commander is an RTS with a controller scheme in mind for controlling your troops. You can control a different clan of troops assigned to certain buttons and each one with different strengths and weaknesses, they gray Goblins are run of the mill troops. Red one specialize in long range damage and high amount of it but can't take much of a hit, Blue ones with a high defense to tank and take a beating and so on. Each clan has their own troops and their own 'Titan' or Champion Such as a giant Ogre who can eat troops to recover it's own health and smash things, dealing property damage for some much needed coin to upgrade your gear between the factions you control.

    How do the graphics look for this era? The game looks like it was built using the Warcraft 3 engine or a close rendition of it. In fact, the more I played this title, there are so many different quirks that reminded me of the Warcraft engine, such as troops needing to turn to face what they need to fight in order to issue damage or how the troops auto-pathing seems to work... It's sort of stunning and sort of scary, almost as if the engine was a fan-recreation of Warcraft 3 for kicks.

    goblin_commander_unleash_the_horde_image7.jpg

    If they miss the shot, that's why they have backup... So the shot doesn't miss.... Wait, that doesn't make sense.

    Any game here operates on two resources, Soul and Gold. You use Soul to purchase and spawn Troops from a Clan Hall and you use Gold to unlock troops or pick up upgrades for the clan from Weapons to armor. You especially need gold to unlock titans. How do you get these? Each game map has a 'soul' fountain you can control just by having a troop near it after a few seconds to auto-harvest soul. Gold can be attained from destroying the environment such as old stone buildings, defense structures setup by opponents and so on. Another interesting feature they added was controlling the units personally; See, when you do a Skirmish, Campaign or other, you have an overhead view of the game's world, you can place defense structures and access clan halls from this view, you can also personally control units such as the titans or a clan of troops literally, With attacking buttons and their movements mapped to the joystick, sort of like 'SMITE.'

    What's the story about Goblin Commander? Well, it's a story about Goblins, more or less looking for their purpose and not in the 'raid the village and take their women' kind of way. The goblins we're conjured by a mage and separated into 5 clans with their own goals to contribute to the mage's 'Great Machine' they we're tasked to help upkeep. A clan to harvest minerals and metals, a clan to construct and gather wood. Another clan to gather power from literal lightning and so on. The great machine gets sabotaged, killing the mage and the goblins devoted to him asked who did this. The mage utters the word 'brother' and dies off. The goblins from here look to avenge their master.

    The game includes a multiplayer option with split screen, but it's pretty solid and I ended up beating it. So why is this ignored?

    I don't have any solid answers other than there wasn't a solid marketing team for Jaleco, the folks behind this title's development. They're mostly a Japan gaming company with a handful of titles out here in the west such as 'Fortified Zone' for the Game Boy, a 1-2 Player top down run and gun game, The Peacekeepers for the SNES or Pinball Quest for the NES, a pinball game with RPG Elements... If you haven't heard of the last 3, even growing up, then I've made my point clear.
     
    12
    Posts
    4
    Years
  • The best part about PC obscure games is that its actually possible to play them should they are available, and your machine is capabile of playing both modern, slightly old, to even Pre Windows 7 games.
     
    955
    Posts
    12
    Years
  • The best part about PC obscure games is that its actually possible to play them should they are available, and your machine is capabile of playing both modern, slightly old, to even Pre Windows 7 games.

    I agree; Any you want to add to this vast list of games? Ones that are fun to play but hard to find?... I mean you can find a lot of bad games too easy, but finding good ones in this pile is a lot harder.

    Speaking of....

    41zefQXSsEL.jpg

    I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream!
    PC​

    This is an interesting forgotten title, much more interesting than anyone would know or even believe until you've done a little research yourself. This title was actually based on a short story and both the game and story share the same title.

    What's the story about?.... Spoilers ahead. We're now in the futuristic year of "GOOD LORD, WHY ARE WE EVEN STILL ALIVE!!!???" and just to save some time on the specifics, we finally did it, we created a Skynet where we're useless sacks of bones except about 5 of us. This Skynet, who calls itself AM, keeps these 5 alive and immortal as playthings via torture whether physical, psychological or anything else. These 5 can't commit suicide, their bodies are augmented to provide themselves with all of the basics to live forever, never age and continue to just purely exist for the computer's enjoyment. AM keeps coming up with games which are torturous themselves everything from traveling through places to re-experiencing horrors they lived through before. At the end of AM's game in the story, they can't kill themselves, but discover they can kill each other; one of them kills the other 4 as an act of Mercy to let them and their spirits finally rest while the last gets mutated into a Slime by the computer, where the last survivor's nerves, organs and everything mushed, pulled and razed against and apart from one another, for lack or a better way to describe it, a constant state of pain....

    That's brutal.... very brutal actually but understandable. So what does the video game do and why is it interesting?

    Well, the developers contacted and worked with the original author! They wanted to come up with another ending to game where things come out a bit more positive or at least less dramatic.... Much like the Super Giant Games Like Bastion or Pyre; you can't save everyone no matter how many times you play it, all you can do is your best.... But I'm not talking about their hits; I'm talking about this one. With the author in their ranks, he wrote out multiple endings for the game; endings that didn't feel forced or just spun in for kicks, endings that we're consistent with the rest of the games story where how you solve the puzzles will change the outcome and ending of the game. You think of this as the 1990's version of 'Detroit: Become Human.' Granted, there are a few other Adventure games that did this before like the Kings Quest Series, though I was a little more impressed with this title than the old Sierra Series.

    Before I sign off on this title; Harlan Ellison, the author himself wanted to make this game one you could not win at or a game you could not simply beat. You could finish it, but it was a game that could not be 'beaten' as he put it. If you want to try the game out yourself, IT's up on Gog, Steam, Mobile on both iOS and the lovely Android Platforms and shouldn't cost very much either. It's a point and Click adventure with enough puzzles to poke and jostle your mind from start to finish..... A guide may be necessary, but who cares, eh?
     
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    955
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    12
    Years
  • 8119-millennium-soldier-expendable-dreamcast-front-cover.jpgg

    Millennium Soldier: Expendable
    Dreamcast, Android, PC & Playstation​

    Alright, I wanna take ya ba- No... Just no, I can't do this with a straight face, even while typing nor can I drag this out into into a multiple paragraph review. All I can do is talk about my experiences with it and spoil the ending about it.

    Expendable, as it was called first on the Dreamcast until it was renamed, was a top-down run and gun with a few tweeks to the Camera. In this title, you played as a cloned super soldier, created immediately to take on the 'Alien Menace' now attacking the planet. You are warped to each sector where their attacks on concentrated strongest and become expected to eliminate 'EVERYONE'... Or rather, eliminate them Aliens from outer space to prevent another Independence day movie.

    So... What was each level like? It was a more mature version of Jet Force Gemini.... Does anyone remem-? OK, I'll explain all the mechanics. You had a top down-ish view of the game, where you faced is where you could shoot, I own and played this game on Dreamcast so I don't know the controls for the other consoles. The more aliens you took down, the more points you received, there we're also survivors that you could shoot; If you rescued them by walking into them and not shoot them, you would earn bonus points. The Camera view of everything was a different subject because while you would have an overhead view, the perspective would change to account for different area here and there along with different bosses.

    This game was mostly a score attack title, and for what it is; it's sort of fun. There are the basic arcade upgrades such as invincibility, destruction and at the end when the big bad alien is dead, your given a mop and warped to a paradise island to act as a janitor while you can take your breaks relaxing in the setting sun.

    This was a fun title to play through and it's one of those games similar to Serious Sam to an extent.
     
    955
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    12
    Years

  • latest

    .hack//fragment
    PS2​

    ... Ok, Let's talk about this little treasure. IF anyone lived around the 1990's and early 2000's, there was an anime series that was basically our version of Sword Art Online called Dot Hack. This series evolved from Arc to Arc from .Hack//Sign, .Hack//G.U., .Hack//Twilight and so on. What was this series about? Creepy internet pasta; A brief summary of the series; there's a popular online MMORPG called 'The World,' people from all over play this title using VR headset's, not the headsets we have today; Headsets such as Microsoft's Hololens or a consumer VR piece that can be bought for the same amount you pay for a PS4 today (after inflation of course), and play this title in a first person view. From here, the games community grows and explores different aspects of life of the gamers such as players killing other players referred to as Player Killers... and Player Killer-Killers who hunt Player Killers like a bounty hunting job, the game's own version of marketing, guilds and so on. Outside of this commentary is a big scary thing that does visual sensory exposure and putting it's player base into Comas while gaining power to creep, destroy and hack our world apart as we become more reliant on technology.

    Scary, ain't it?
    2586059-5353954616-gfs_4.jpg

    "This ain't Scary, it's a giant pig with fur- oh wait, it's behind us... aw crud."

    .... You wanna know more, dig up the old series and give it a marathon, or don't; NOW ONTO THE GAME!
    Before we got .Hack//G.U; We had .Hack// Infection through Quarantine and these we're the first 4 PS2 title the somewhat revolved around the story from the first series where you could hack the monsters in the game ('Not literally of course') and access restricted areas that are walled off that contain this Coma Causing bug and you having to go fight it, gain levels and so on like any other action RPG; those titles, G.U. and Fragment here somewhat share the same system where it's a hack and slash with RPG elements with levels. If you wanted to cast a spell or skill, you would have to use your in game menu to cast it which is a little disjarring at first... But it grows on your when you see how thje game is modeled. There is no Cut to battlefield either, when you find something to fight, you enter the battle, hack and slash followed by surviving.

    Well, both the anime series and the game caught on like wild fire in Japan so much that they made their own Multiplayer Co-op; Called .Hack//Fragment. What could you do in Fragment? What couldn't you do. There was an in-game forum, email system; there was a single player experience to level up some before you hopped online for PVP or PVE, you had different classes you could pick between, you could think of this as a Monster Hunter before Monster Hunter caught on. The servers stayed on until it's popularity died out, when this happened, Cyber Connect released some software for the player's to create their own servers for kicks and allow the gamers to keep playing with their friends whenever they wanted too.

    Now, you may be asking why show this game? The game is probably over $500 on Ebay or everywhere else to import it alone and you can't read Japanese, right? Well, the die-hard folks of .Hack at Net Slum resolved these problems for us. They've created their own English Area Server and with the help of a handy PS2 Emulator with net play capabilities, you can play this MMORPG simulation like an MMORPG... Set to hard; I've logged in and I need to report that playing this game coming in at the beginning at level 1, you will get beat down with an ugly stick until you level up through single player a little or until someone hops on with you and keeps some healing spells on hand to keep you alive until your strong enough to handle yourself and level up solo.... I'm on the latter and got lucky. Does the game hold up today though?

    Well, the Engine Fragment is based on is the same engine they used on .Hack Parts 1-4 on the PS2 and it's pretty rudimentary... However without faking anything, it holds up pretty well. The game is fast paced and the community is actually pretty friendly. If you played this a little or any of them and say 'I prefer G.U.'; the hosts or the private server for fragment have been working on making a fan made G.U. Adaptation with the basic features to play and level up together. How far along is it?... Well, there's an explosion going on behind me and that's my computer lying in front of you.... My terrible jokes aside, they've been hard at work when the developers have had the free time though like any 3D game, they're modeling writing and translating stuff from Japanese to English as fast as they can without letting their regular lives get in the way...

    I do recommend checking them out and see what Japan was into before it went up in flames.

    https://fragment.dothackers.org/index.php

    Note: While I'm indifferent of emulation and try not to promote it on the forum here; in order to play this in English, emulation along with the proper language patches are required and this is another one of those elusive titles that are harder to find than Unicorns, Leprechauns and Half-Life 3 Developed by Valve.
     

    Cid

    3,666
    Posts
    16
    Years
  • ... Ok, Let's talk about this little treasure. IF anyone lived around the 1990's and early 2000's, there was an anime series that was basically our version of Sword Art Online called Dot Hack. This series evolved from Arc to Arc from .Hack//Sign, .Hack//G.U., .Hack//Twilight and so on. What was this series about? Creepy internet pasta; A brief summary of the series; there's a popular online MMORPG called 'The World,' people from all over play this title using VR headset's, not the headsets we have today; Headsets such as Microsoft's Hololens or a consumer VR piece that can be bought for the same amount you pay for a PS4 today (after inflation of course), and play this title in a first person view. From here, the games community grows and explores different aspects of life of the gamers such as players killing other players referred to as Player Killers... and Player Killer-Killers who hunt Player Killers like a bounty hunting job, the game's own version of marketing, guilds and so on. Outside of this commentary is a big scary thing that does visual sensory exposure and putting it's player base into Comas while gaining power to creep, destroy and hack our world apart as we become more reliant on technology.
    I've always been intrigued by the .hack// franchise. My first exposure to it was here in PC, when people used characters from .hack// as their avatars. My brother used to like this as well, iirc. Glad to hear that the relatively obscure .hack//fragment is worthy of a post here. This is a nice thread overall, too!

    If I had the time I'd like to make a write-up for Trials of Mana.
     
    955
    Posts
    12
    Years
  • I've always been intrigued by the .hack// franchise. My first exposure to it was here in PC, when people used characters from .hack// as their avatars. My brother used to like this as well, iirc. Glad to hear that the relatively obscure .hack//fragment is worthy of a post here. This is a nice thread overall, too!

    If I had the time I'd like to make a write-up for Trials of Mana.

    I await your contribution :D
    MV5BYTE3OTc1YmEtOTRjOS00ODE4LWFkNjktMDQ2NmY4YmVlNGY1XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjM2NTM3ODA@._V1_UY268_CR4,0,182,268_AL_.jpg

    The Adventures of Willy Beamish
    PC, Amiga, Sega CD​

    I want to take everyone back to a familiar adventure game; from the edge of the planet, back to the age of the 90's when the popular color was HOT pink, boy's we're into everything gross, girls we're the opposite with.... Everything the PC culture now rips apart and the most popular music medium was tape cassette's, mix tapes and computer piracy was oh so satisfying.

    We have a PC game created by Dynamix!... Who we're they? They somewhat developed the more interesting games that, whoever was alive with a child hood in the late 90's, shaped a portion of the gaming industry in more ways than one. Such as Mech Warrior and The Incredible Contraption; the latter of which was you we're given a set amount of invention parts to use to solve multiple puzzles!... And Mech Warrior was nothing but Mode 7 with stand-up opponents! Even on the SNES! To be truthful, Looking through the library the studio has from their startup to their demise, they had some interesting titles and ideas, I may do a multi post on some of the games and ideas they explored.... Moving on.

    The Adventures of Willy Beamish was a game, set in the 90's; first day of summer vacation, final report cards are sent out and the last grade wasn't a good one. Which kinda sucks, because there's a huge 'NINTARI' TOURNAMENT coming up! You gotta practice to compete, but get grounded until after the championships!... Bummer... Well, at least you can pal around with your future love interest, the other kid you hang out with and head out to the downtown arcade, mall and the park while dealing with growing pains as HALF THE CITY DEVOLVES INTO CHAOS AS IT SLOWLY SINKS INTO THE SLUDGE OF THE LAKE BEGIN POLLUTED EVER SINCE SOME ***** AND ******** BOUGHT THE WATER WORKS AND HAVE BEEN RUNNING THE COMPANY THE PAST MONTH!!!... A Scooby Doo Mystery with a frog as your mascot?

    11792-the-adventures-of-willy-beamish-dos-screenshot-the-answering.gif

    'Hello?... I know what you did last summer... I also know I am coming for- Beeeeeep'

    That may not look too good for a show, but to be literal, the game plays like a traditional TV show out of the 90's or variety show with each day being an episode in some fact of life or the other. Like most adventure games from this age, there are technically death states where you earn a game over. Being a kid, you cause too much trouble on the trouble meter, your folks will send you to 'military school' to 'straighten' you out. What kind of trouble? Just the basic stuff growing up, lying to your folks, staying out late past Curfew when you we're younger, Hurting your spoiled little sister or sibling or brother while rough housing over a toy you both can't share or being kidnapped by a deadly creature of the night.... I'm not making that last one up nor am I making up the curfew, there is a time element in the game like you would see out of majora's mask where certain things happen at certain points on certain days of the game.

    Underneath all of these variety show days of the game is a subtle plot, kinda like out of Adventure Time. It would be a good subtle plot that over arcs to the end of the game IF they didn't spoil everything in the first hour. Though still everything in the game is, more or less connected to where you as this punky pre-teen against authority save the city in a slightly gross but interesting way.

    11799-the-adventures-of-willy-beamish-dos-screenshot-you-can-watch.gif

    Now introducing Slam Dunk Cola Classic!​

    Aside from trying to avoid Lawsuits, like the Nintari game console.... which was literally Atari and Nintendo put together as they we're the dominating forces competing during the games development. The game has had an odd string of ports over it's life cycle. It first came out on DOS which was a common method to play games on, then released for the Amiga and MacOs a year later, the Amiga being the 90's version of Linux in some rough sense of the word. The last year, the game came out on Sega CD, which anyone watching AVGN when he went over the old Sega CD games, which too my knowledge is the only version with voice acting. There are some crude adult jokes such as Horny, being the name of the frog and.... Well, the frog's name should prove my point.

    835157-the-adventures-of-willy-beamish-dos-screenshot-the-plumbers.png

    This was a fun adventure game I grew up with, granted my young mind didn't grasp the jokes left by the developers; it was a fun play through from an obscure portion of my life and it's still worth a play through today. Atari did a re-release of this classic back in 2017, you can pick it up on Gog or go find it int the Archive, the DOS version that is.
     
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    12
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  • 40kb-nes-game-780x405.png

    Micro Mage's
    NES, PC​

    *Watches Clock* Almost there....Come oooooooon September.... Ugh, forget it; I want to talk about Micro Mages and like the spoiled 7 year old, I'm gonna open the Christmas presents early. (BUT IT'S JU- wait... IT'S AUGUST!!) For that joke to make sense, READ THE FIRST RULE OF ME SELECTING MY CRITEREA! Games old than 5 Month's; I should have probably put that to 3 month's.

    Micro Mages is a NES game that's.... Well, it ain't a Classic title, it's currently a few months old in terms of being published though the reasoning behind this game's publication is actually kick ass. To give a little background, back when the NES games we're developed, You only had bottle caps worth of data to put your game on inclu ding, art, coding, game rules and producing this thing in assembly; the old 6045 Assembly, though If I got the numbers wrong, then I apologize. For those who don't know what Assembly is; think of it as another language to code programs in and the documentation is about the same thickness as the book to War and Peace and pushing a single key is equivalent to somehow, out of dumb luck, programming the next Skynet!!.. To put an end to me jokes, programming in assembly is annoying and difficult, especially for what the team did here to make the game.

    They wanted to make a game and optimize it to use as little space as possible. Since we have TERRABYTE'S in terms of Hard Drives and larger ones on the way, this is understandable as to why they aimed for this since games are already reaching terrabytes to store and play..... HOWS THAT FALLOUT 76 PLAYER BASE?! IS YOUR UPDATES STILL CHUNGA SIZES?! I shouldn't be harsh on them, buy it's one of the few games I know to gobble up file space like EA on it's customers Wallets.

    What's the game like? A vertical platformer that scrolls up and that's it. As for how it plays? unlike every bad NES game James from AVGN plays, it's a tight game. The controls are tight and you have a simple ranged attack that destroys things. There's a pair of Power-ups I've had the chance to touch on, a fairy that blocks a hit and a bird that allows you to hover over tricky spots that are hard to get past.

    The bosses are challenging but fun to fight and the music is pretty kick ass for 8-bit renditions. This game isn't talked about enough among the retro crowds so I just wanted to draw attention to it. The folks at Morphcat deserve a big round of applause, cash and..... IDK.... They just did an awesome job.
     
    955
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    12
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  • latest

    The Lord of the Rings: War of the Ring
    PC​

    .... Alright, I want to.... Well, not take you back, but bring everyone here to a game from the Lord of the Rings Franchise. A game so out there, so obscure that it makes the GBA version look like a joke in terms of Obscurity. It makes the rumors of the Elderscroll game that was suppose to come out on the N•Gage with multiplayer actually came out and was forgotten and the other obscure titles look like they we're more real. This is a game that is literally buried in the past, and there needs to be some light brought to it.

    Before I get started, let's talk about this post's Sponsor! NOBODY! I am tired of YOUTUBE ADS IN GENERAL GOLKS! I GET AN ADBLOCK AND I STILL SEE ADS IN THE CREATORS CONTENT THEY CREATE! IT'S ANNOYING AS....Geez.... I want to put this joke and Angst aside to talk a little about Sierra. They we're a company that mostly focused on Adventure games when they started out and we're one of the better built gaming companies in how they treated their employee's along with how their business model operate... They we're an awesome company to work for and I mean awesome-awesome. Better than working for Nintendo even if that says enough! Then when game's went 3D, the original CEO's quit since they couldn't wrap their heads around 3D engines at the time or write their own, new owners came in and it's all down hill; they've been acting as a publisher ever since and the developer's, Team Liquid, developed this title.... So, yeah, if you got a Team Liquid Sticker; plaster it over the Sierra sticker, find the people who had the idea to do this on the box art and give them a good hard kick where the sun never shines.

    ... NOW, about the game; If you google War of the Ring, you'll find 'The Lord of the Rings' board games, card games and some thing about a MMORPG of some sort off of Steam. If you dig deeper, you'll find an old-fashion, Blizzard 3 style RTS.


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    This is real.... I mean really real. An RTS style Lord of the Rings. The title follows the books pretty well, the game's mechanics have Base building, resource Gathering and heroes like in Warcraft 3.

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    You gather food for your troops, metal and ore to forge swords and upgrades and if you play well, you gain 'fate' points which all-in-all is actually a badass idea for a system. Fate points allow you to do something in the game or match you couldn't really do or rather it's a tide turner in a fight or match. Prime example; during a good Campaign, you played well until your base is descended upon by Orc's. You have Fate Points stocked, you check your fate menu and there's a Treant you can summon. You spend your points and you get a permanent-siege-tank-powerful-all-around-warrior until it dies... Or summon a demon if your playing as the Orcs.

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    I don't really need to explain the story; it's lord of the rings. One of the greatest fantasy novels ever written and the foundation of fantasy for millions if not billions of other Fantasy Novels. If you meet an Author who writes Fantasy novels for a living, there's a 99% chance they read Lord of the Rings and used his literature for research... Except Harry Potter; I think that's something else on J.K. Rowling's end on her whole universe of wizards and magic, if she admits it, then I will stand corrected.

    This game is actually kinda fun so what happened to- TAKE YOUR PICK! An over inflation of Lord of the Rings games, Sierra losing it's grip hold and slice in the market, People drawing comparrison's to Battle Realms, the franchise hangover or it's lack-luster reviews.... Franchise hangover's you ask? It's when everyone talks while being hopped on a series they watch it and carve each detail of that series into their brain and it's THAT mania that every company tries to hop on board the band wagon and make as much of that thing for us to burn our money over before it's been exploited every which way. Then when it's popularity dies, and you go to work, you wonder how that hobbit ornament got on your car when you forgot you bought just last week!!!...

    Either case; I re-installed the game, ripping the Image ISO from both of my disk's, burning said image on a thumb-drive and playing this title on my laptop!... When you have classics on CD's and the next gaming device you have doesn't have a CD drive, you need to find alternative's and this, hilariously, actually works. I did the same with Fur Fighters and am getting ready to paint it for funsies since it's the only way I can enjoy the game. I'm hear to report it's actually a lot fun and I might look into Battle Realms from Team Liquid.
     
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  • 300px-Heroes_of_Newerth_cover.jpg

    PC​

    I'm back for now...and it's time to talk about MOBA's....

    I said back in a particular topic, there is ONE MOBA I'll play hands-down due to it's high turn-around rate, that being Dota 2. There are moment's though where I can 'sometimes' get sick of Dota 2 however due to some crazy change's from one large patch update to the next. So after hunting and searching a little, I found this little puppy a far, far, far while back. called Heroes of Newerth.

    ANYWAY; Heroes of Newerth is as they advertise. They're a CLONE of Dota; however they're a huge far-cry from Today's Dota. Today's Dota 2 includes new heroes on a yearly basis with map changes every year and newer mechanics based on how loud people complain or how little.

    So... What are the base mechanics? Like I posted back in the MOBA topic; You have Barracks, an Ancient and most of your skills are position-facing based with items being the take-away. You have the 3 Base Attributes of Strength, Agility and Intelligence and they determine your hero stats as such.

    What's different? The quality of the game's setup and the removal of Dota 2's other updates, meaning there is no talent tree. There are no new heroes or map changes yearly. It's about as base and basic as Dota get's before Valve came up with their game changes to keep everything fresh.
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    And this is not the most up to date screen shot. Not a lot of people really play this game.

    There are heroes here that share the same traits as the other Heroes from Dota 2 in terms of skillset. Lion and Witch Hunter being the big prime example and a few dozen other heroes. Though Heroes of Newerth has their own OTHER catalog. Another feature everyone begs for and wishes WAS in Dota 2 Heroes has is the ability to forfeit a match after 10 minutes into a game, which make's me agitated since Dota isn't a game where if your losing, it's certain death. The community here is also more.... colorful and either as toxic as the folks you'd find from LoL or Call of Duty. It's also because of this community I don't frequent Heroes of Newerth often.

    If you can look past it's rough edges and lousy community, this is a solid title to play through, even if you have to setup a team yourself to play against bots. Though if you want something more sustainability where the developers will pay attention to what's given to them; then I understand.

    So Let's also make a Halloween post... because I f**k**g love halloween too.

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    Stories Untold
    PC​

    This particular game is 4 different games shoved into 1... Or 4 micro games, 4 puzzles put into one larger game. If you watched Mark Plier play through and beat it; you'llknow what your in for. But if you haven't, then your in for a huge treat. Especially if your a fan of Stranger Things. The entire game has that 70's-80's asthetic with the old computers with the wood grain along with the horrors of creatures that we're popular during this century such as Aliens, Abominable Snow-men and Jason Rip-Offs from Friday the 13th, but in a slight weird way. Each game is a set of puzzles, each one a little more difficult than it's predecessor as they all revolve around a man and a terrible accident he took part in. It's game's with an Asthetic like this I'd rather like to see in some of the newer Horror games than Zombies. The sense of danger of something unknown rather than the defaulting our guess to Zombies or the Demigorgon from Stranger Things.... In fact, why doesn't Stranger things explore other horrors of that time period instead of sticking to alternate dimensions and psychics?.... This ain't film theory of AVGN, this is a list of long forgotten games and I'm recommending a puzzle title for puzzle heads out here...

    I'll be back later with more to add to this list.
     
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  • Magitsbox.jpg

    METAL ARMS
    Glitch in the System
    Xbox, PS2, Xbox360, Game Cube​

    Let's talk about another game with an incredibly interesting dev cycle. If you love Rachet and Clank today, but become the high school 'dork' for loving the dynamite pair and will play anything else to get them to stop throwing bricks at your window, then you'll want to pull out Metal Arms... While I'm at it, any teenager or young adult who laughed at other's in their peers because they enjoy Rachet and Clank had better run for the hills... Because I still play and enjoy the games.... Especially the bad ones.... And I have a Ryno packed in my car, ready for those who would cause harm... And I have others who can back me up... You'll be cat food very soon...

    To drop the theatrics, Metal Arms is a more mature version of Rachet and Clank, though more focused on the Zoni-metal-commanding robot and a Lombax removed from the story entirely. The game's story starts on a world run by robots (Insert a Futurama Joke of your choice here.) and they're at war with each other. One side wanting total submissive machines to do their bidding, enslaving them to a hive-like-mind and the other side wanting to be programmed to operate, act and become indifferent, to be free. Freedom side loses a ton of bots and they come across Glitch, a robot with a blank memory but built as a custom model of some form which none of the other bots who we're fixing him could figure out what he is or who he is. They give him a brief run down of current events, get attacked, he picks up a mining laser which is your basic handgun and starts the battle for the freedom of his fellow bot.

    Off the bat, you'll discover the game is a platforming FPS title like Rachet Deadlocked and quickly discover why I said this game is for a more mature audience who enjoy Rachet and Clank; your first companions who help you through the tutorial area are named 'Hosed' and 'Screwed,' and then suddenly die when the tutorial ends on the approach of enemies. There's some censorship of language to keep the game at it's T rating, their version of money to collect to buy and upgrade your arsenal of weapons and hidden collectable's for it's multiplayer mode... If you got 3 or 4 friends, the multiplayer mode is 'FUN ON A BUN!'

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    You can duel wield some guns and equipment, the game feels like South Park Creators came in and helped with the script and it's nothing but chaotioc madness and fun! The game is still remembered by a big niche of people and still played today!!.. Mostly for reviews or streaming, but the mechanics, though a little rough are fluent, the heavy combat sections are hard but still fun to get through and it scored well with critics at the time, it seems like this game was on it's way to a sequel and could, though not litterally, but have a chance to stand toe-to-toe with everyone most favorite, silent-ish protagonist Master Chief. Not a 'Halo Killer' but a 'Halo Competitor'... So what happ- It was Blizzard.

    *Cricket's Chirping can be heard in the post*

    ... Let me elaborate here, Blizzard was wanting to tackle an FPS game to be released on console using their Starcraft IP, more infamously named as the Starcraft game that became permanently shelved, Starcraft Ghost which if you want further information on that mess, look up youtube and search for 'Wha Happun.' The content creator did a video on that and a little on the developers for Metal Arms, so I'll spoil it here a little before you watch it. Somewhere in the middle of Ghost's Dev Cycle, the company or team working with blizzard got kicked off the project as they we're not making Blizzards high demands; Seeing Swinging Ape's success with Metal Arms and how it worked out, they wanted Swinging ape to work on the project instead.. Only to be absorbed by blizzard a few month's later, with the Swinging Ape team and the game's IP license in our China-Cow-Towed game company cold weather named hands... So where are they now? I HAVE NO IDEA! I did a bit of research, but could find very little on the Dev's though I think they may have left Blizzard when the CEO that was running everything left as EA took over... Which kinda Sucks because the game ends on a cliffhanger and a sequel would be kinda badass right now.

    As for preference of game version's!!! If your solo gentleman, I recommend picking up this title for the PS2. If your a guy with friends who love vintage vid games and to kick back for a night of Frag-festing mayhem, I recommend picking up the Game Cube or the Xbox versions as they support 4 players where the PS2 version supports 2 players. IF you prefer the comfort of a game pad that supports FPS titles all the way, I recommend the Xbox 360, which is on the Microsoft Xbox 360 shop, or rather that's what I read. If it's there, I recommend grabbing it before Microsoft decides to discontinue service for the 360 in shop and online multiplayer.
     
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  • Systemshock2box.jpg

    System Shock 2
    PC​

    ... Let's talk about System Shock 2; as gaming is on a rise, folks are either with less cash, bored and keep talking about how much some recent games suck, cursing as they loose a match in Fornite's Battle Royale and try to find other things to kill time during the corona virus during the Quratine.... Which reminds me, if and when this post is read from a point where this virus is a thing of the past; a moment of silence for those who have lost their lives to it and pat yourselves on the back for surviving.

    System Shock 2, isn't that much of a game pushed outta the lime light, but it's a classic not much looked at or talked about and there's a FREAKING REMAKE IN THE CARDS BEING PRODUCED!!! So let's talk about it while we can before it get's it's spot back int he light once more.

    System Shock 2 is an earlier version of Bioshock; but with a heavier and well made blend of RPG and FPS done right, done far better than Fallout 4. (THAT'S RIGHT!! A game developed back in 1999 DID IT BETTER THAN A GAME PUBLISHED IN 2015!!! I'M CALLING IT OUT!!!) Another element added aside from RPG is the horror element... Which ain't that scary in terms of horror, not traditionally anyway. When you start the game, you got 3 classes, Soldier, PSI, and Mechanic classes. What's the difference? It determines how you build your character and start out. Soldiers can use a large multiple number of weapons, RPG's, Machines guns, the works. The also have a slightly higher Health Count than the mechanic and PSI operator. Mechanics or I.T. Personnel don't have the HP, weapon training or the psychic abilities of their counter parts, but they make up for this with ingenuity. They can modify weapons such as adding a burst fire function to a pistol or armor to absorb radiation poisoning to survive in contaminated areas longer. They can also access chest's and they aren't completely useless in weapon usage, can hack their way past locked doors and disable security camera's. PSI operators are your basic mages; they can freeze stuff, levitate items to come to them from a distance and explode things with your mind.

    It should be noted that all characters are basically the same, the only difference that happens is when you choose your starting stats via class; so a soldier can learn PSI or a Mechanic can tote weapons and increase their HP... But that's now how the game was built, which should also be noted, you can't really play this game as a 'Jack of all trades.' Whatever class you pick, you need to build your character for that game around it's strength's since upgrade skill points are INCREDIBLY scarce; you can get''em in spades by finishing missions or quests, but buying them and finding them is another story and can be very difficult... Which LEADS ME TO THE CO-OP FUNCTION!!! (DUN x 3)

    There is a multiplayer function that is incredibly straight forward; someone hosts the game, your friends hop in and you play the main story together. Does the game adjust for this in terms of game design? We're the games maps designed for this type of play? World no!.. But it's still fun to actually play. It took me a while to find a friend who was into retro games like myself and a bit longer to convince him to try the multiplayer with me; I bought the game on Gog alone to pass off to him using their DRM free option since it was a free classic game for him and I got a partner to game with to try out the Co-Op in return. A few things we discovered, the host in responsible for the game's save file, meaning when you save the game, the game saves the file on whoever is hosting, meaning you can't work on your character or character's offline unless all players reconnect to the game to play again though the upside is noone can over-level or out level the other, the players are forced to try and level up and work together.

    While I'm on the same note, since the Co-Op doesn't change the map or gameplay, not as much as I can tell though; Co-Op makes the game a lot harder, as this is somewhat a traditional old fashioned survival horror such as conserving ammo and what not. As we're stepping into this, the ammo drops and health pacts and what not are as scarce as characters will need to share resources and gear with one another as to keep each other from dying and hope one of the few zombies you kill drop candy bars for health or ammo for your shotgun/shotguns. Which leads me to another element we discovered, wandering science zombies spawn in the game, though at irregular moments and while they don't hunt you down outright at first, when they do spawn though, they walk around through the map/floor looking for you. So as long as a player can play skillfully, they can, fairly, get the ammo they need along with a few health items... But who has the time for that?!

    So what's the game's story? Picking up from System Shock 1, an A.I. called Shodan (pronounced as Showdown, clever pun from the late 1990's) hi-jacks an international research space station, plays shenanigans with the scientists research in releasing psychic monkey's, dominating and controlling all military machine's and infecting the station with a bug to make them part machine or something along that line to create more believable human zombies instead of a T-virus... And then you come in; you are just arriving at the station during your tour of duty and put in cryo-sleep to help with space travel. a few humans still surviving the onslaught of Shodan hack your cryopod to wake you up and with their help, help you take on Shodan and defeat her/it/whatever it is again. The game does have horror elements and it will get a scare out of you, sometimes a jump scare, fear of being found by the creatures as your hunted or doing the hunting and Showdan herself during some scenes are just too dang creepy... I mean, you listen to her rant for about 2 minutes in any video and being alone in near darkness on a station devoid of communication or methods to call and receive help and you'll have every right to feel her and the fear she produces.

    The game itself is a lot of fun and aside from having graphics more dated than Doom, it still has an atmosphere of tension and horror that can be felt from level to level... As for why it's not talked about, we got Bioshock, Doom 2016 and Eternal, we got Nintendo we got- Yeah, it's not a wonder; but as someone who stepped back onto that space station, it's worth a second look or if your feeling up for a retro title, give this game a whirl. Ya won't be disappointed, just try to bare with it as learning the controls from this generation of games can get tricky and a little experimentation.


    Wildstorms_CCG.jpg

    Wildstorms

    This is a first for the list; I have a card game I've been designing since middle school, quite literally; this isn't even a review joke or item to add to this list. But when there is a game that comes along on another medium... And you see Marvel give a middle finger to the medium after relizing that Stan Lee is in the grave and thankful he isn't alive to see what's become of his world and company he built; then this is something you track down for kicks in hopes to see if someone will make joke cards for it.... Ontop of that; this is the first TABLETOP game I've added to the list... So I guess by default, everyone else can add their faves to this list too.

    Tabletop games have no story, but I can talk about them, especially this in better detail.

    So what is Wildstorms? It's a cardgame featuring something every gamer and nerd can relate too, Super Heroes, aka Comic Books.

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    What's my appeal t- Everything I don't really like that much about this generation of comics from Marvel and DC, this is kinda my remedy to them. The card game was developed and published around 1995 and kept going until 1996-ish? I can't really find a date when official support ended since they released expansions that included characters from Image Comics and adding different elements to keep the game going like Yu-Gi-Oh does today... So, what's the objective of the game? When the game was developed, there are 2 game mode's prebuilt, a standard battle where you fight to control a battlesite by earning points, via destroying each other's characters and claiming their point values, or playing the campaign mode, which is a longer game than the standard battle and uses the 'red colored text' listed in the cards.

    The easier parts of the game are how combat is performed and scoring points. If ya noticed, the character cards I posted above have 3 Values at the top of their frames, C, R and D. C for Close Combat, R for Ranged Combat and D for Defense value. You can't use the R value unless the character get's an equipment card like a shotgun or sniper rifle.... Or has an ability built in to account for that like Hulks ability to 'Throw Objects' and it's value being that damage... You then compare the cards attack values against (D)efense values and add modifiers such as combat cards to shift things around and the final value will injure the losing side or 'stun' them. They lose again, you knock'em out, flip the losing card face down and the winning player scores the point value of that card. Attack a knocked out card, you kill the character and the opponent can't revive them using a healing item, ability or plot twist; and you, from what I can read so far, lose points that way once they're dead.

    Then there's the deck building where things get more complicated than the written card effects.... Which has very, very specific rule's; the point values of your cards go into this as well, you need an accumulative of 30 points or more in characters and equipment, while keeping the total point value of the deck under 200 points... Why this however? Because you need to knock out characters to earn points to win a game or a round in campaign and equipment increases that point value of the character you K.O. What is the 200 point limit? A cards effectiveness is scaled using their point system. So you got Savage Hulk above, with abilities to make him stronger and heal, he's dangerous to keep on the board so he's ranked at 9 points while the Thing is basically a copy of Hulk except his starting C power is higher than Hulks and he can fly any plane or ship without any difficulty, so he's ranked at 10 points for kicks... It's kinda confusing at first glance, though once you try playing the game yourself, you'll kinda see how and why; as in, more powerful cards cost more, but if you fill a deck with them alone with equipment, your powerful heroes will be outnumbered by your opponent while having a weaker team against a stronger team won't ensure a total victory.... So some Mix and match might be needed.

    As for playing cards; your given a 10-point allowance per turn to play whatever you want and they don't accumulate; that's more or less the basics in a nut shell...

    -

    HOW DID THIS GAME FAIL!? You got comic book heroes, a balanced-ish deck and game system an- My main guess why it failed as hard as it did? I have a few theories. How the game was distributed for starters. A prime example is if you have Upper Deck as your printer and distriutor/publisher, then your game get's released to comic shops in THEIR network. Upper Deck deals with sport cards, baseball, football and so on, so developing a game for them to publish in shops that deal with baseball cards, your not really going to get your game to the market ya wanna target. This is well noted with the fall of Versus.

    Second Theory? Wizards of the Coast and Magic the Gathering.... Enough said; just insert a reason here, they're like a mob for tabletop card games. They have patents and own the phase TCG, Trading Card Game... You even use TCG in your card game while not working for them, their lawyers will knock down your door and demand loyalties or a cease and desist of your work...

    Third, the game wasn't as well known? I was a 90's kid and grew up in that era and the only thing I remember seeing in terms of card games we're pokemon, yu-gi-oh and Magic the Gathering.... in fact, I remember seeing Magic the Gathering played more often at summer camps and in toy stores than any other game.

    Now for the infuriating part of this story... There is a die-hard set of fans who keep the Wildstorms website running and keep the game slightly up to date with fan-made cards of their own based on other comics being ripped and I.P.s for kicks... And the unofficial expansions they come up with this are good... Such as this spiffy Star Wars card of Leia or Logan from X-men.

    It's apparent this game has a labor of love in it's creation and fanbase so much that the fans are trying to keep this game going. With digital media's to replay card games online such as Table Top Simulator and Untap, you should have the ability, but noone has taken notice to this relic or made the proper mod for it. It was shoved outta the lime-light by Wizards and plain bad luck... Which is why I'm doing something about it or at least something different. I'm working on a Tabletop Simulator Workshop mod to put Wildstorms on the table to be played for fun... My only major problem is keeping all the cards the same size since I'm importing the cards directly from their HTML addresses on the site though I may take an alternative route for this massive library.

    ---

    As for my comment on this generation of comics and my final note on this entry; I have nothing against this generation. I love IDW's approach to the Sonic comics, making thing more grim, dark and interesting during their Robotnik Machine Virus saga and Rick & Morty comics are always at the top of my list to read as well as Manga such as Dr. Stone. The comic, the I.P. that's driving me to talk about this card game is Marvel's new I.P. of 'The New Warriors' and how they try to touch on a culture I would rather avoid like a plague. I mean, they have character's named Safespace and Snowflake; which after watching the premiere video introducing them and the rest of their team- It's kinda unbearable for me to watch... When I googled super hero card games; I was hoping to see if I could make joke cards surrounding them like the cards from MTG's Unglued or unhinged; cards that can still be played with, but screw with the game mechanics and players.
     
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  • EarthwormJimHD.jpg

    Earthworm Jim​

    ... Let's talk about another obscure title shoved into the lime light, out of it, bought into it again and shoved out of it again... By us... and it refuses to die... and I respect it highly because it deserves better. I am talking about Earthworm Jim, a video game about an Earthworm in a suit, powered by a star, designed to literally fit anyone who wears it and operate it with ease along with pockets which are technically portable pocket dimensions to include an infinite inventory space and a lazy but crazy story. A space queen is prepping to conquer the universe with the ultimate weapon in her arsenal, the power suit which is the suit I just described above. She intends to hand pick her most fiercest warriors to wear each of the suits and conquer the universe in her name. Her daughter, Princess What's-Her-Name(I'm not kidding or even joking, that's her literal name in the game's lore) steals one of the suits in order to give the universe a chance, loses the suit as it ends up on a flying, living comet where it's spirit infuses it with cosmic energy and drops it off as it crashes into earth on a farm somewhere... and an Earthworm, without much of an idea where it is or what it's doing climbs into it. The cosmic power from the comet restructures the Earthworm to grow big, grow a conscious, eyes, brain and starts a quest to get friends and end the queens terror.

    ... I'm leaving out a LOT on the origin of Earthworm Jim, but that's the story in a nut shell... How does the game play? It plays perfectly... Let me elaborate. Earthworm Jim wasn't a comic or cartoon or anything at first. This Groovy worm came to us as a video game first. With the huge success of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it's marketing trend as well as the world wide love of 'SONIC THE HEDGEHOG' Jim was invented, designed and put together to compete in the 90's market. The first game was a SMASH hit, with strange levels, an awesome ray blaster, hard as nails bosses and the smooth, fluid animation... It's the last bit that set it over top... And revisiting the games on SNES and Sega, his animation wasn't a full 60FPS per second, however they we're incredibly expressive, they had different behaviors, states of animation from attacks to interacting with the game's levels and ALL of this on a SNES and Sega Cartridge at the time of it's release... That and it's pixel art... I am a dead-sucker for good pixel art.... Though that's my preference in art form; moving on; if I had to describe it, it's like a 1 Player Contra with a gliding helicopter move, wacky weapons, creative levels and the entire thing just drips character. It's something either Nintendo or Sega could use in today's world.

    Earth Worm Jim is a solid game, as well as it's sequel EWJ 2.. So, what happened to it? The game got it's own Cartoon and was about to become a permanent icon until it crossed over into today;s media, being bought up by the vampires of Nickelodeon who wouldn't know a good I.P. unless it vaporized them.... I'll post my hate for that studio later. Well, gaming got better than Earthworm Jim...

    Before I get any head scratcher's, when the N64 came around, we had games like Super Mario 64, Rayman 2 and Banjo Freakin Kazooie, One perfecting Platforming, One perfecting a good story that could be it's own franchise but gets ignored for a 2D sidescroller later down the road which is still fun but cuts away from it's roots and the last perfecting what it is.... Because it's Banjo Kazooie; what do you want me to do, write a definition to it?.. Well, with Earth Worm Jim 64 or EWJ 3D on the market to compete with these other titles, it didn't too well compared to it's counter parts with reviewers giving it bad scores across the board... This is before we got youtube and before broadband became cheap enough to afford. The 3D games plot was Jim got hurt to where is mind is being invaded and the player has to go through Jim's Fantasy's, Fears and other psychosis to free himself from whatever is inflicting him.... and it's hilarious!!! When you get a chance to playthrough, I do recommend checking it out; but otherwise, with people taking shots at the title; people started questioning if it was a bad game and tossed it to the bin of bad games, along with it's 4th and last known entry on the Gameboy Color which sadly did far worse as they couldn't squeeze the amount of detail the original games had onto the cartridge... and not to sound defensive but to the developers credit, it's about a 5-8MB worth of data and music; they can't squeeze everything in there. Though I will admit that they should have probably waited when they could.

    So... Where has this IP been since it's last 2 flops? It got a resurgence on the PS3 with EARTHWORM JIM HD! Which is basically the same Sega, DOS and SNES game with the levels, humor and everything else still intact and still one of the few games that is a must own. They got rid of the pixel art in the HD, but to play this again was a welcome change... And then nothing for a while until the creator of Jim himself, Doug TenNapel, Started an kickstarter/indiegogo campaign to get the $$$ to buy back Earthworm Jim and the rights to use it since the license was gathering dust... They, EWJ's owners, would not sell him the game rights, but they we're willing to sell him the comic book rights, which he used to flesh out the origin story of dear old Jim and gave this book to the backers, which I think is now on sale.... Which I own as a Christmas gift from family who knew I was into obscure and fun stuff and EWJ fits that descriptor 'FAR' too well... There's now going to be a brand new Earthworm Jim game coming up on the Intellivision Amico; which I wish they did not and would prefer to see if they can get it launched on Nintendo Switch or better, one of the newer consoles... Though that's just me, so we'll see what happens next.

    If you grew up with this Groovy Hero, the first 3 games are up on Gog. Earthworm Jims 1, 2 and the 3D are on there for about $5 each and I picked them up. They're still as good as I remember and while I might be having some nostalgia for it, it's still a solid video game that deserves a little more than limelight. It deserves it's chance it lost years ago.

    Slight Edit: I had time and played through the first 2 levels of Earth Worm Jim 3D; the game is as HARD as nails.
     
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  • CrystalChroniclesCover.jpg

    Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles

    Let's talk about a game that is getting another remaster... and pushed back, which is aggravating because the game was suppose to come out back in December of 2019, but got pushed back by 'insert all reasons why' here.

    Let me say up front, I love Crystal Chronicles, not as a mega nerd but enough to say that I still have a functioning Gamecube, a functioning copy of this game as well as 4 DIFFERENT GAMEBOY ADVANCE SP'S AND THE GC TO GBA LINK CABLES TO PLAY THIS GAME WHEN I HAVE A PARTY OF FRIENDS OVER!!! (Insert my evil Laugh here)... Aaaah.

    Why this game is on my list is equivalent to why it didn't do so well period in the market on it's launch with mediocre sales and having Square Enix put this title in it's back catalog. The tools and gear needed for multiplayer. Not everyone at the time had a Gameboy Advance or even the Link Cables between the console and... handheld consoles; the Camecube to GBA cables we're only used for over 50 games; Pokemon Sapphire and Ruby through Fire Red and Leaf Green to the Pokebox application that sold with Pokemon Colosseum so you could literally catch them all with a huge roster, as well as battle with your pokemon from said cartridges. There was also a Co-op Legend of Zelda Four Swords game that used this cable, Sonic Adventure for porting the Chao Pet application over and the more popular noted Tingle App from Wind Waker... Because it's Wind Waker. None ever bothered to get more than one cable for the multiplayer until 4 Swords Adventure released and even then, Crystal Chronicles is left in it's own dust...

    The Remaster coming out? It's suppose to come out on Xbox, Switch, PS4, Iphones, Android, PC, It's coming out to be covered on everything to eliminate the need for it to be on a single console, you just need the game, a network connection and your playing with friends. There are some other elements such as Character Voice Acting, new models of characters to reflect armor and change your style from the limited looks your character could have and Spell-Fusion-Timers!!!.. Spell fusion was the only way to use the advance spells in this title, like Blizzardaga or Firaga, 2 players needed to aim in a specific spot, one would need to cast their spell and the second had to wait for a certain amount of time before lcasting theirs to produce the effect... In the Original, you had to time yourself and expirement.... In this, it just got easier to perform.

    But I digress; LET'S GET TO THE STORY!
    In Crystal Chronicles, you play as one of 4 Races, A Selkie: Badass Ninja Race, A Calvat: Basic Human, A Lilty: A cute Dwarf with the strength of 12 men and a Yuke: an abomination against nature or being of the void with deadly magic.... We'll never know... Anyway, your chosen to be apart of the Crystal Caravan, a group of people who set out to gather drops of Myrrh from Myrrh Trees with the use of a crystal chalice, to bring back to your village and rejuvenate your Crystal to protect your home from the Miasma-Fog surrounding your home... Along the way, you learn more about your world and how the Miasma claims lives, it spawns and gives life to monsters. It's poisonous atmosphere suffocates the 4 races, killing them slowly unless under to protection of a crystal. You even travel to a village where their caravan has failed to return with their Myrrh and how it has fallen into chaos and death, still waiting and praying for their Caravan's Return. You meet warriors affected by such isolation from each other as your travel throughout the land... It's pretty flipping depressing but adds life to this whole world it's in.

    With such a plot, some folks argue that ALL you do in this game, and endless hack and slash with magic and it does not have an end.... Well, there is an end to the game, there is a final boss you can beat, roll credits and dispel the Miasma surround the villages. So... Spoilers ahead; You have been warned!.. Or ignore the underlined text to find out yourself.

    I don't give everything away up front, but for this title, I'm making an exception. The miasma surrounding the land, it's source comes from a monster that can be killed, stemming it's flow and returning a form of peace, as this creature crash landed onto your planet via meteor and has been leeching off the land ever since... And I won't make a FF7 joke on that one. How you reach this beastie is difficult and I mean very difficult; there are cryptic hints in the game given by an NPC named Gurdy, also known as your lost scholar. Through him, you find the hints needed to traverse a desert and landmarks to unlock an unknown element you can set your chalice too. Once you have the chalice set to that element, depending on the year and what opens up for you and your group, you need to navigate your way into the hills until you find a miasma stream that can't be crossed due to it's element being unknown, with the special element in hand; you cross the stream and reach the hills where the final boss rests. Slaying him here ends the game and you will have beaten Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. Or just look up a guide.... Because if you miss your chance at year 5-6, it'll be a few hours more before the planets align around year 11 or 12 if I remember right.

    Final-Fantasy-Crystal-Chronicles-Remastered-Edition.jpg

    I want to kill Gurdy so much...

    Since this is a Final Fantasy game, you'd expect there to be a EXP system and heavy grinding in place... There isn't, though there is a form of grinding. How the game plays, it's treated as a 3D Hack and Slash with only 3 stats to your name, Strength, Defense and Magic; and no levels. You see, when you enter a dungeon or area to find a Myrrh tree, there are artifacts laying around in chests, held by monsters and so on. These artifacts give temporary boosts to one of your 3 stats, an extra heart of equipment slot for magic and items. When you beat the boss of the dungeon or area, the results are tallied up based on your bonuses which I'll get too in a minute. Whoever has the highest score picks one of the found artifacts first and keeps it's stat bonuses as a permenant increase. The downside though is once you pick it up, you can't pick up a second one... By which I mean, if there's an artifact called Cat Bell that Gives +1 Magic, you can claim it. But if this exact same artifact by name is found later in another dungeon, you can't claim it again... Of course there are other artifacts that give +1 Magic so mix and match what you can.

    Bonuses, these are special objectives special to each player and reflect how the final score is tallied. These range from 'don't pick up any items' to 'Inflict damage' and 'Defeat enemies using spells.' There are more different variants, but that's the basic jist. You can break those objectives by disobeying them, but you will get a poor score; which in turn can affect your team's artifact drops.. And yes, this score affects the permanent stat bonuses players can get, as along with the basic artifacts your find, 1-4 or more are added based on the points tallied together to help add more variety, incase RNG decided to assign you a dungeon of monsters and chests who drop nothing but GIL and food. If you get around to playing this, I recommend you TRY and follow your Bonus given to you on your map screen of the GBA... Or you can Re-Roll your bonuses by exiting and re-entering your dungeon, which my group has done time and time again.

    Other than this, it's a game with a solid Co-Op RPG with secrets, an enchanting fantasy sound track and a deep-rooted lore of another world. I've already posted my reasons why; and while I'm head and tails on Emulation, there's another way to play this game over the internet.

    If you don't give two flips about Square Enix; You first get Parsec: Which is a screen streaming service/application for gaming, once person hosts a game such as Mortal Combat, another player connects to the computer using the Parsec application and they game together as if they're both in the same room. I know this is similiar to Valves Steam Game Screen Share option, but Parsec has got them beat in spades over refresh rate and latency issues. Second, you'll need to get a Gamecube Emulator which I recommend Dolphin and do a little hunting for a piece of software that links up Game Boy Advance emulators to the Game Cube Emulator, which it does exist. After a little setup, you have a Crystal Caravan from all over the internet and world to go out and search for Myrrh once more; no fuss of cables, expensive travel fees such as plane tickets or Dealing with deadly Pandemic's just outside your door. I'll be out there gathering Myrrh while I can, hoping this Quran tine ends at some point.
     
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  • Sonic Robo Blast 2 Kart

    (SRB2K)
    PC​

    When it comes to Kart racing, I have two preferences. Combat and feeling the need to clip through walls just so I can destroy the guy on the other side of that wall while laughing and asking myself; ".... How did this happen?!" This title does not include that later hilariously. This is a kart racer like Mario Kart, Nickelodeons cart and even Sega's 'All Star' Kart racing. What's the difference? This sucker is open sourced and customizable by a lot.... So much so, noone bothered to program the rubber band... Though to be fair, there isn't a single player; but bare with me!

    Where this title came from is actually a little bizzare; someone wanted to make their own 3D Sonic the Hedgehog game, but didn't have knowledge how to use 3D and not many free '3D' engines we're around at the time; so what did they use? DOOM!.. Kinda; See, one of the few physics Doom didn't have was gravity or the effect of going up slopes to slow ya down or going down slopes to speed up and in a game for Sonic the hedgehog, it's kinda needed... So the guy built a Doom engine clone from the ground up with the math calculations to do those slopes exactly and published a FREE 3D Sonic the hedgehog game, using 2D Sonic, Tails and Knuckles Sprites with 2D rendered enemies.. And honestly, it's looks kinda badass.

    And as much as I would use the boards built in youtube player, it doesn't play the videos like I would want it too... However, the engine's last update was back in 2019 and it looks kinda awesome... I mean, it still looks like it has the indie rough edge of polish, but the levels designed, it looks kinda awesome!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia097A0pKNM

    ... I'm getting ahead of myself here. To answer the why explain this title for the one I'm posting about. This particular engine enable's Co-Op, so the platformer has Cooperative play to bounce, speed and beat levels through. A player could play as Tails and carry Sonic over a pit of death, Knuckles could climb walls to certain areas to hit a switch to get through a shortcut and so on... Well, I said this was basically a fancier version of the engine Doom runs on with the calculations for slopes. Someone got bored and made it into a Kart racer with weapons, speed-ups and what not... And Doom Games, even ports with graphic swaps are documented extremely to where even a 10 year old can make his own FPS levels for kicks... So much so, there are a metric sh*t ton of racers to race in here.


    So small


    Geno! Where ya been man!?


    Welcome to my nightmares!​

    The game plays like your traditional Super Mario Kart from your GBA or SNES with features from Mario Kart 64 to Mario Kart... Whatever number we have now. WHAT ARE THE CONS?!

    Well, for starters, there is no Single Player!... *I can hear some people leaving the topic like emptying an Auditorium.* Alright, look and bare with me. The game has huge customization options, so it's possible to program one in; however, how do you teach an A.I. to run around a new track you program in with loops, or needing to drift left or right and so on? How do you make it fair enough that the game base's your wins and loss's on your skill against petty slot-machine tactics to give the A.I. a chance? Kinda difficult really and harder when combat is introduced. The only folks I remember making this more skill based are the folks behind the Wipeout games where you can literally remove your competition off the track by inflicting enough damage... There is a single player mode where you can race Time Attack trials and create ghost's to race against or borrow other ghost data from other players to beat for kicks with the standard 3-piece booster.

    Multiplayer is a different beast, as where it is the racer where you have folks using weapons properly to fight each other off, 3D models among other items; I mean, someone took the time to model some of the racers for this title and add it in for the engine to render and support it!
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    In order to even see them, when you join a server, you download these mods just so your client can support it!... and this is just some badass dedication!

    It's just too good!.. Why haven't we heard of this?... Well, to be honest, this is a title you kinda have to look for; do basic web searches of games like I do time to time for kicks and see if something fun comes up.
    You hope the community is still alive powering this thing and see if there's anything great to grab from here and move forward.

    Welp, I hope to see you folks out there on the track!
     
    955
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  • srb2-title.png

    Sonic Robo Blast 2​

    When you get home Wednesday night from a long day of work. Your friends finally get off as well and decide they're up to experimenting with anything. You then offer this title and spend an hour to figure out how to get Port Forwarding to work properly... Only to give up after following every single step and start using a LAN tunneling software via VPN.. And you just have a ball with this when you play together.

    This is a Sonic the Hedgehog game in the works since 1998, this title is over 20 years old and still being brought up to date! I mean, that video of the 2.2.2 update in the last post is barely scratching the surface!

    Too keep it short, each level of the game has multiple paths like in a regular sonic game, though in the multiplayer mode, you don't have to share the same path and go in different directions meant for your character. Such as Knuckles, he can bust through walls, thus there's sections of the game only he can access; Tails on the other hand can fly almost over everything without getting tired, but he's incredibly hard to control for his flight and Sonic is.,.. well, Sonic; he can jump higher, move faster and has a dash attack in place of his homing ability... And if your with friends with the lives system, you will have a ball.

    The special zone sections for the emeralds; they vary from game mode to game mode. If you played Nights into Dreams, that's what to expect when you dive into this game as a single player. When go into this cooperatively, you are dumped into an arena and have to gather blue orbs together, the first levels of this being simple and ramping up higher and higher into difficultly until you reach the impossible level 7... I have died so many times, me and my friends, trying to get the last of the emeralds...

    The level design? Well, I enjoyed the water level for starters... Which shouldn't be happening since every water level in any video game either feels like a chore or breaks the flow of play, but the levels here don't. They still have the get 'lost where ya go feel' but the levels have some beautiful design choices. Each zone and act feels like it's unique from it's Castlevainia like setting to the Looney Tunes in the Arid Canyons with Highway's to nowhere but walls.

    Whoever did develop this and still developed it until now needs a freaking gold medal and an award for best Indie Game... That and be hired by SEGA to lead the next producer or project leader for Sonic the Hedgehog game's... OR at least level design.

    Does this end here? World no; Like the Kart Racer, there are also mods... What kind of mods? Characters, Levels, game play changes, all kinds; you can play as Kirby for pete's sake! With copy ability and all!

    The game can be snagged for free and I recommend grabbing the music soundtrack while your at it and have a blast!... Pun intended.

     
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  • Has anyone noticed how newer and newer games kinda suck? BRAND NEWER GRAPHICS, ONLINE THROUGH YOUR FAVORITE NINTENDO, PLAYSTATION OR XBOX CONSOLE! UNLIMITED ONLINE GAMING FOR JUST $60 USD A YEAR! AND ALL TO JUST GET KILLED BY SOME KOREAN WIZ/RICH KID HALF WAY AROUND THE WORLD!!!.. While this is just me exaggerating, It holds some truth depending how you look at it.

    More and more game's published have to either have 3D and need to break the mold into a new genre by doing something to pull the market away from the main stream like the guy in japan who is trying to publish his game Pull Stay... Which kinda looks fun and I may break my rules and do a post on it when it publishes in 2021.

    I only state this as kids are yelling to get on Fortnite, Get on Minecraft, get on this, get on that and the feeling of all these new games feel depressing. It's all about the shooting, the sugar coated 'extreme' and pay to win mechanics in some titles with EA and Bethesda.... And any Bethesda fans offended, Fallout 76 has reached that level no matter who tries to change my mind, that's how they are.

    buuuuuuuuuuuut I digress.

    Let's talk about a game so far buried behind the success of others that Nintendo never saw it as it's rival to it's popular and CRITICALLY acclaimed The Legend of Zelda; I present to you...

    gen_crusader_of_centy_red_front-178x250.jpg

    Crusader of Centy

    I can guess most folks are straight up going to ask what this relic is; It's Sega's answer to Zelda. To elaborate, Sega and Nintendo we're hot on each other's heels in their bit wars. Really HOT! When Nintendo released the Legend of Zelda: A link to the past, Sega jumped on board to try and not only capitalize on a market they neglected, action RPG's, but to compete for it with a few titles. The most popular one being 'Beyond Oasis,' an action RPG with an anime looking opening that was well animated for a Sega Genesis at the time of it's release... If you bought into Sega's Games such as the Classic hits on console or on your computer, you may have tried it as it kinda is an ACTION RPG like the legend of Zelda with a complex magic system.

    However, Oasis and Crusaders we're both apart of an action RPG project Sega setup and the popular one would get a chance to fight the other franchise world wide. Oasis won that battle and Crusaders of Centy didn't get an American port... for a bit. ATLUS saw potential and ported the game to the State's for us, though since then, cartridges are harder to find as we we're rescuing the princess from a giant, butt ugly pig... So! What is Crusaders and what's it like?


    Crusader_of_Centy_Sonic.jpg

    Are you the towel boy?... Can ya bring me a Chili Dog? Tails is preoccupied with the Tornado.​

    It's a top-down-hard-as-nails Hack and Slash action RPG... But it has an certain edge over the Legend of Zelda, Centy learns... What I mean by learn, he learns about how to fight and traverse the world in the game. He learns to jump, run, use his sword as a boomerang, lift boulders and rocks twice his size all through training and being taught without having to use an item... Meaning, most of his arsenal of moves aren't reliable on items like roc's feather or the power bracelet, they're built into the games mechanics as a button to push and are handy to have. Centy learns to jump for top down platforming from a bunny, you learn to lift heavy boulders and rafts from an elephant, it's small touches like this that make the game appealing. Though the move set you learn isn't enough to beat the game, you need animal companions to help you get through as well.

    RDXpaN9.png

    Gotta Ca- err... Recruit them all!​

    The animal partner's you find in this title are pretty handy in tight spots as they act as an extension of your abilities. The dog can hold enemies in place for you to hack and slash, the penguin adds an ice element too your boomerang sword move that it can freeze magma, they change a lot of you abilities and can help out in ways to solve puzzles or fight enemies. You can pull them out in pairs and some of them can use their abilities with each other into handy combo's; prime example is there's a badger named Cecil that grants your boomerang sword to ricochet off a wall and fly further and longer. When used with the ostrich Moa, who strength's other animals; that ricochet goes on indefinitely; it's Crazy!.. sort of.


    829817-crusader-of-centy-genesis-screenshot-maldra-the-dragon.png

    This dragon has a sword and shield... SOMEBODY HELP ME!​

    So what's the story? Your a young lad who just turned 14 and according to law, your automatically enlisted into the king's army while inheriting your father's Sword and Shield... AUTOMATIC CONSCRIPTION!!! Your told to go train, explore the world and find out why monster attacks are increasing on the nearby and helpless people... and Slay the monsters or end the ever increasing attacks; thus you are now on A CRUSADE!!!... and within the first 15 minutes, you lose you ability to speak to humans and gain the power to speak to both animals and plants instead... Which leads me to another mechanic about exploring the world. Unlike the Legend of Zelda, the game's world is split into chunks and levels like Paper Mario Sticker Star.

    Everytime you leave an area, like a town to go elsewhere, your treated to this map and need to pick the area you want to go too. So it cut's down a little on travel if your looking to back-pedal a little to solve puzzles and areas you couldn't before and each area has it's own puzzles, dungeons or act's as the dungeon's and you have to get to the end once to clear it to move onto the next area...

    Which leads me to something else about this title, IT IS HARD!... I mean REALLY HARD! You got all of these speed runners getting to the end without the sword in zelda; BEAT THIS THING WITHOUT YOUR ANIMAL COMPANIONS WITHOUT GETTING EXTRA HIT POINTS!!!... Centy Swings his sword pretty wide and it has some for of sprite manipulation in rotation which it can start messing with the hit box... and he's not that fast to swing again, you can't swing your sword again until the animation of the first swing finishes, which is less than a second, though you need to dodge and hop around when dealing with a mob... Which is why you have the dog. The dog, MAC can hold enemies in place so you can hack and slash which makes the game easier to fight some opponents except the bosses...

    Which leads me to the wrap-up. Why did this game wasn't as pop- Zelda.... The tri-FORCE was with Zelda that age. Even Beyond Oasis, which had an open world to run and fight about that got picked to be published in America over Crusaders of Centy got overrun by Zelda. Even if you owned a Sega Genesis, you would have heard about the Legend of Zelda on the SNES and get what Nintendont to play it!!! Sega didn't even bother to put it up for Sega Ages or as a Retro classic release for mobile, even though it CAN benefit from it... It's kinda infuriating because I'm playing it now as part of the Qurantine slowly winds down... Slowly being my keyword... and no folks, I'm not dead due to the Kung-Flu. Not yet; still searching for these games, these hard to find and hidden titles.
     
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