Is it acceptable to not want kids?

[o0PinkSquid0o]

Ok as always, sorry sorry sorry if this thread has already been created!

Anyway, I know a lot of us on this site are all too young to be thinking about having chilluns but I wanted to know what your views are on it?

I personally Never want kids, I don't know if my mindset will change in later years but for now I would much rather parent my puppy instead of a child!

I expressed my feelings about having children and children in general to a lady at work who was pestering me about her own child and she was outraged by my attitude towards having children, like it was so politically incorrect for me to never want kids. shutting down my opinion like it was nothing but hers meant everything.

What do you think?
Do you think in this day and age its OK to never want kids?
Is it accepted that women just might not want to mother a child or are women still seen as being the ones who will eventually have to settle down and pop a few kids out and pretty much give up on everything else in life? (sorry I see that happening once you have a few kids, your life is revolved around them.)
Why is it not OK for you to express not wanting them but its perfectly fine for mothers and fathers to express their feelings about their own spawns?

Anyway, discuss? I'd love to hear what people think, I'm not here to judge, I just wanna see some like-minded people and some good debate ;)

 

[Timbjerr]

The most obvious reason would be because it goes against our built-in instincts to produce children so as to keep our species alive.

I'm not gonna try and guess your age or anything, but I'm told that it isn't uncommon for teenage girls to be unwilling to have children. It might be part of their upbringing or they may have *gasp* the common sense to not get pregnant. As they get older though and maternal instincts develop, the want to have children may emerge or become stronger than it was in the teenage years. :/

The same phenomenon happens in men too, although generally at an older age. :o

 

[o0PinkSquid0o]

The most obvious reason would be because it goes against our built-in instincts to produce children so as to keep our species alive.

I'm not gonna try and guess your age or anything, but I'm told that it isn't uncommon for teenage girls to be unwilling to have children. It might be part of their upbringing or they may have *gasp* the common sense to not get pregnant. As they get older though and maternal instincts develop, the want to have children may emerge or become stronger than it was in the teenage years. :/

The same phenomenon happens in men too, although generally at an older age. :o

haha its ok, I'm 21.
I'd have just thought we'd evolved enough to accept the fact that women aren't wanting the same thing these days as they used to and teh fact that the woman shot me down for not wanting a kid really got me thinking about it.

 

[Legobricks]

Well sure. I don't want children, myself.

It's a similar thing with most contrary behaviours in this world... even just not liking chocolate. People just have it so ingrained into their minds throughout their lives that they expect a given behaviour to be normal. They'll either shun you or try to 'fix' you if you don't fit in — I've no idea where that attitude comes from, but perhaps it's just a natural protective reaction people have to what is relatively unknown.

Perhaps some people see not having children as some sort of sin against nature, as denying future persons an existence. It strikes me as a rather contrived way of looking at life, but it's understandable in the sense that as a species we're supposed to continue ourselves, and not doing so means we are ultimately endangering our wellbeing; but, we're not cavepeople anymore, having children isn't now vital to success... in fact, I'd go so far as to say it has become detrimental instead, overpopulation an' all.

 

[poopnoodle]

it's unreasonable for someone to expect everyone to pursue parenthood- the decision to be a parent is a life-altering one crammed with responsibilities and obviously not everyone is cut out for it. as for your views being rejected by others, i've never encountered that regarding this issue specifically...if not wanting children is something widely unaccepted, i've never been aware. but i think it's cute when parents brag about their kids, it's usually just a sign of love and that's never a bad thing.

i'm wary of having children myself; i love children and i'm great with them, but i'm not confident in how well i'd preform as a mother and i'm not sure if i'll ever be ready to take on the obligations that come with being a parent. and i'm certainly not reproducing- not only do i feel discomfort in the idea of physically giving birth, but i dont think i could bring myself to bring a child into a world already full of children in need.

 

[Shanghai Alice]

So long as you don't have sex, then I see no problem with it.

Contraception, on the other hand... That's a sticky issue.

*Gigglesnort*

 

[Livewire]

It's perfectly fine if people don't want to have kids, it is their choice after all. I do think Timbjerr hit the nail on the head, opinions can change once the hormones kick in. xD

 

[Project.]

I think the people that want dont kids are just helping us. They're stopping the growth of the 6 billion human beings that like to destroy ozone layers and stuff. The last thing we need is more population. As strongly as I believe that, I do want kids. I hate the thought of a family just dying out. And I'm one of the last child-bearing possible people in the family, so I don't want to ruin it. But yes, its perfectly fine for people not to want to have kids. It might be nasty, but look at it this way: You save time and money!

Just kidding, but seriously, its fine.

 

[PlatinumDude]

For me, it's acceptable if couples don't want to have any kids. True, raising your own kids has its advantages, but it may be a hassle for some, but not all, people.

 

[Surmonter]

Timbjerr is completely correct. As hormones change, your desire to have children will probably change as well.

But, it's fine if you never want children. I personally don't want children. I think the world sucks, I don't want any child of mine to be raised in this crappy world.

So long as you don't have sex, then I see no problem with it.

Contraception, on the other hand... That's a sticky issue.

*Gigglesnort*

I didn't realize you have to be trying to make a baby to have sex. I thought people did it for pleasure and to express their love for another (usually anyways). Silly me.

 

[Captain Fabio]

I hate kids.
Little brats with no respect and just plain annoying.

I don't want kids, so I am in the same boat.

 

[Aurafire]

We're not inherently expected to have children in most societies, so of course it's acceptable to not want them.

Personally, I'd love to have a family someday. Raising children is a ton of work but I'm sure it's a very rewarding experience.

 

[KanadeTenshi]

I hate kids.
Little brats with no respect and just plain annoying.

I don't want kids, so I am in the same boat.

You have some points. But some kids were really mature. (In a level that's considerably high for that age, of course)
It kind of depends how the kid was raised, and how he found himself in school (school has pretty much a lot of effect on kids, and I see people at my school act pretty much almost the same, not counting personal things they like, but their behavior is quite similar to each other) I know school isn't the best example but it's one of the things. I was about to type more but I'll go offtopic and go into things I'll probably fail at.

Socially.. that's pretty much up to the question, because each person and his own things. I'm 16, I wouldn't really mind having a little baby, but I'm a bit too young.
It's pretty much each person and their own feelings, luckily having kids isn't media-spoiled (another topic though) so.. for some they might be little brats, for some it might be a source of joy. If OP is a teenager, timbjerr is correct, but I think most teens don't want to hold such of a responsibility on them at the "fun age".

 

[Zebeedoo]

Of course it is acceptable to not want kids.. it's your life. No one elses. No one should make decisions like that for you.

I personally, do not want kids. I just don't think I'd be a good parent. It's actualy really scary to think about for me. >x< I just wanna be free. Y'know.

 

[Rogue planet]

I certainly do think it's acceptable; I think it should be encouraged, actually. The vast majority of parents I see as I walk home from college are clearly not fit to be parents, my neighbours aren't fit to be parents, I'm willing to bet half the people in this country aren't fit to be parents. There's no need to continue reproducing when the country is already getting overcrowded. It's mostly just an endless cycle of idiots creating more idiots (said it before, idc, it's true). Ironically, the people that don't want kids often seem like they would be good parents. But I see no reason to feel obligated to have children.

Personally, I definitely do want kids at some point in my life. Although not of my own, I'm sure that I would adopt. Just because the child wasn't created by me doesn't mean I'm going to love that child any less. I also strongly support the 'nurture' side of the nature versus nurture argument, so I'm sure the fact it's not my own child wouldn't have that much of an effect on how they turn out. If I'm the one raising the child, then I see that child as my own, so I'd be perfectly happy. Plus I can take comfort in the fact I've given a home and a decent upbringing (I'm fairly confident that I can provide that) to a child that really needed it.

There are already plenty of children out there that need homes, so it doesn't make sense to just carry on reproducing even more.

 

[Rich Boy Rob]

I see no reason why you should be looked down upon if you don't want kids. I don't know if I do. If I had to, I would probably want to wait till I was like 30-something.

I didn't realize you have to be trying to make a baby to have sex. I thought people did it for pleasure and to express their love for another (usually anyways). Silly me.

I'm 99.99999% certain he was being sarcastic. Silly me.

 

[RivalGator]

I think it's acceptable to do whatever you want. I plan on having children way in the future. I think it would really be something.

 

[Stellar]

Of course it's acceptable, why wouldn't it be? I generally don't want kids, but that's due to some personal baggage of mine - I'm sure I'll get over it with time, and I may even change my mind later in life. But right now the idea of having total control and responsibility over another human being is too insane to consider, so until I change my mind I'm gonna have to pass on the whole motherhood thing.

Contraception, on the other hand... That's a sticky issue.

*Gigglesnort*

I lol'd. Like... ridiculously so.

 

[Ayselipera]

As far as I'm concerned it's completely fine to not want to have kids. As of and now and maybe even forever I have no intention of ever having a child. I just don't have the slightest interest.

I'm pretty vocal about never having kids and often times it's met with angry adults, but when it comes to certain things I just don't care at all what other people think. I know what's right for me and as of now not having kids is working just fine. I don't even like children to begin with and I know I'll be a terrible parent. With that said I think it's far better to recognize why you don't want to have children and then go from there. You'd think those same people who get so angry would realize I'm actually thinking for the child who would suffer under my parenting. :)

To sum it all up. You know why or why not you want to have children and that's all that matters.

 

[Stratos99]

I consider not having kids the lesser of two evils, lol. You should've told her you were sterile. :p Yeah I don't care though, and I'm not sure if anybody I know would care either. People who mind about something like that are most likely the minority and not the majority. Hopefully!