Upon starting the game, we are greeted by Birch and his beard. We also learn that our character is an amnesiac. Oh joy.
Birch sends out a Bulbasaur... that doesn't look quite right. (and doesn't sound quite right as it makes the Azurill noise).
Narration:
"But that Pokemon looks strange... I think something very very odd has happened... Is it just my memory playing tricks on me, or is that Pokemon I just remembered... dead?"
"That can't be right, surely? Pokemon don't die, they just faint and lose the will to fight, right?"
I'll admit, this intro is cool. It's setting up the sequence of events nicely. Now we get the choice for our two main heroes.
Oh
no. Let this be an indicator of the quality regarding many of the original sprites in the hack, folks. Our two main characters are not very appealing, as the male is an angry-looking Dante ripoff while the hot pink sweater on the girl is laughable at best. Not only that, the default names are so
edgy I almost cut myself on them.
- Wraith, Shade, Dark and Eye (???) for the male option
- Ghost, Haunt, Jericho and Loba for the female option
Since those are just a bit too silly, I went with this instead. Because he looks like a Jack to me more than anything else.
"No, but seriously you should leave."
Expect the game to throw out this kind of humor a lot, especially in the middle of a serious mood.
[fade to black]
Whoa. What happened to Littleroot? There's rubble everywhere. Also, since this is a still image, imagine the screen shaking before making a truck-stopping noise. I'll give Cutlerine credit for chopping out the rest of the intro, though.
Let's go read that sign on the bottom.
Alright. Doesn't seem that bad.
... Christ. Now we have a mood going. I like it.
Head over to the left, and we have some Pokeballs. These are your starters for the game. The top is Claydol (rotating on its own axis), the left is Koffing (spewing toxic fumes) and the one Jack is standing in front of is Paras (ill health).
Since I like Paras a bit more than the other two, I went with him. I was going to name him Reginald based off of Haydunn's Nuzlocke of this game, but feh. I like Reggie better. Also, once you choose a Pokemon from these three, you can't get more.
"After all, you're not a crook... are you?"
Excuse me? We are in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. The region is in chaos. The town is nothing but ruins. There is nobody else here. Having more Pokemon equals better chances to survive. So why god tell me are you chastising me for trying to get more than one?!
I'll be a crook however I want, thank you!
...Well, moving on. We make our way towards the route ahead only to hear:
"AAAAAAAH! H-help! Someone!"
It's Birch being attacked by a zombie! Well shit, I'm glad we got here just in time then.
Dude, I was just trying to see how close I can get to the sickly green person. I wasn't trying to run away, chill.
Hey, what's up bruh.
Zombie Kid Liam wants to battle, huh? I should mention this little blue putz has the Team Aqua/Magma battle theme playing right now like he's some hot shot.
B... Boilbasaur. All of the zombie Pokemon in this hack have "punny" names but a lot of them are just really dumb. I should mention that aside from two Pokemon, all zombified Pokemon are unobtainable.
Reggie scratches it to death with little effort regardless.
So defeating the Pokemon somehow destroys the zombie trainer as well? I'm not complaining, good riddance. At the very least, they're not Return of the Living Dead zombies.
* shudder *
Birch says that he knows us and that we're the older brother of Landon, who is now married to May. He also asks us if we know anything about the zombie plague, but our hero just goes:
Oh what a card this man is. Seriously though, I don't care if you have amnesia. I wouldn't forget something as big as
THE DEAD COMING BACK FROM THEIR GRAVES.
Anyway, the good professor leads us to Oldale.
This Pokecenter is where we wind up, and the two guys in green are guarding the way. So far I like how Snakewood is progressing in regards of zombie apocalypse story.
Before we go outside though, let me bend time and space for this special occasion.
(Inputs gameshark codes loudly)
Ta-dah!
Now we have a new friend. Since I wanted to be a bit naughty, I put in a code to get Kirlia much earlier than I'm supposed to. And trust me, we're going to need Bella's help for this venture cause Snakewood is going to pile-drive you until you scream uncle.
This should also be the extent of the cheating as I'm confident I can beat Snakewood with what I get. Unless it's a
very special occasion. Scout's honor.
Dan from the Future speaks: Dude, you have no idea how important this one decision you made is.
:
("Where...? Who are you!? What's the meaning of this!?")
: "Huh? What are you so riled up about?"
:
("My... my... ugh. I wish I could explain it in a way that can makes sense. That said, now that I get a good look at you... you don't seem to be a bad person. My name's Bellamine. What's yours?")
: "Jack. Nice to meet you."
[Bellamine curtsies to Jack]
:
("Likewise. If we're going to work together, we may as well make it painless.")
: "I just hope you're ready for whatever's out there."
Upon going to the left, we're greeted with this guy.
"To be let out on your own! So stay away!"
Dude, I'm bootleg Dante. I'm pretty sure I can still leave everything in my way a bloodied pulp. You wanna go, brah?
This is a bit of a baldfaced lie as there
are Pokemart employees in some other towns. But thanks for the Light Potion anyway. Let's go inside the Pokemart to see what might have changed.
Oh damn, another zombie. Let's kick some ass!
... Ah. No need to fear since she does nothing. Move along, move alon-- Ooooh a vending machine!
I'm parched. Let's get some water.
EEECH. That's disgusting. What's worse is that you can give this to one of your Pokemon and it actually heals them up! Isn't that
great?
We head up north to Route 103 where Birch is waiting for us.
Excellent question, Jack.
"And our entire families vanish without trace, there is still time for science!"
Jack is thinking what we're all thinking.
"And yet... here is a nest, complete with an Egg!"
I have
several questions.
Jack, you're simultaneously a better man than I thought and a bit of a dick.
"That Eggs only hatch when taken around with other Pokemon."
That only raises further questions.
:
"But what about the parent Pokemon?"
:
"I don't see any, do you?"
Way to
be a dick, prof.
"I also wanted to talk to you about the zombies."
:
"Seems like nobody wants to talk about anything else."
:
"Yes, quite."
These exchanges are so cheesy I might as well laugh out of formality.
Anyway, Birch is telling us that Landon is the League Champion and that he and May went to look for the source of the zombies. Since they never came back, Birch wants Jack to look for them not only because they're family but also because since Landon is the Champion, he can beat back the zombies no problem. Jack is skeptical.
:
"The same person who vanished without a trace when he went to beat back the zombies."
"It's the best we got. So! Will you go?"
Jack is just like "OK" and is told to go to Petalburg.
Granted, we can't really knock Birch's plan because he knows we have magical protagonist plot armor.
Oh this man.
Birch tells us that he's going to get the PC connection up and running so he can contact more survivors. While he's at it, he gives us a Poke Phone so he can contact us directly. As Birch leaves, we make our way back towards Oldale until we come across a new face.
Oh hello random lady who is obviously not a villain.
"You must be pretty weak-willed. But I suppose I could use the experience from thrashing you."
Alright then, you cocky cock. Let's do this.
The fight itself is nothing special. Reggie scratches while the Sneasel taunts.
HOWEVER, there's something very interesting with this Mon right here. See, when Cutlerine was editing Pokemon for this hack, he changed around a lot of stuff.
Primarily, this "Sneasel" is not actually Sneasel. It is actually Mawile with a Sneasel makeover. I inputted a bunch of wild encounter gameshark codes before doing this let's play to see what was changed, and much to my surprise the original Sneasel slate is still Sneasel. So it really boggles me why this of all things was changed, when it could have just been left alone.
Future Dan: I find it even more interesting in retrospect because I used Gen 3 Suite to hack in certain members of later let's plays, even the ones that aren't necessarily super ubers.
Useless trivia aside, the cloaked dingus goes down without much of a fight.
Nah, not really. Paras always has an Oran Berry equipped so unless you got a critical hit, this fight was pretty much mine.
"I ought to tell you my name so you can tremble the next time you hear it. It's Alicia. Now let me pass!"
Pffffffffffft. Whatever you say,
Alicia.
: "Well, that was unpleasant. Hope I never get to see her again."
Anyway, that's the end of part one and I hope you guys enjoyed it.
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Team setup:
(Reggie, level 5,
/
) -
A bit worried
(Bellamine, level 3,
) -
Confused as to where she just wound up
Future Dan: It feels so strange to go back to the first few chapters of Snakewood just to see how much my style has evolved since then. Chapter 1 didn't even have a team-setup or the portraits originally, which just blows my mind.
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