Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[She's a Witch!]

Granted, but your grammar becomes horrible.

I wish that I knew the unladen velocity of a swallow.

 

[austy14]

Granted, but now you know nothing else.

I wish for a catdog.

 

[Chad -]

Are you talking about the animated TV series or a combination of a cat and a dog? If it's the latter, then granted, but it eats itself.

I wish for a genie.

 

[austy14]

Granted, but with all your wasted wishes on this thread you're already out. :o

I wish for clap on lights.

 

[Cilerba]

Granted, but you have to keep clapping to keep them on.

I wish for a pet piggy.

 

[Jordan]

Granted, but the food supply will grow scarce where you live and...

I wish I had a pet Gundam.

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but it lands on you and you perish under the weight of it.

I wish for a TARDIS. :D

 

[RockHardSemi]

Granted, but you're only allowed to use it as a toilet.

I wish for a Hippy Van.

 

[Comrade Nikita Ivanova]

Granted, but it's invisible.

I wish for a defabricator.

 

[austy14]

Granted, but while you are presenting it at some big convention it defabricates your clothes.

I wish for a personal painter.

 

[Jordan]

Granted...he's two years old and can't hold up a paintbrush properly.

I wish for a new book about European history.

 

[austy14]

Granted, but it's inaccurate.

I wish this person would stop stalking me T^T

 

[RockHardSemi]

Granted, but now your shadow's stalking you.

I wish to have a Wii version of Pokemon Red.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. Only a Korean version.

I wish for mints.

 

[austy14]

Granted, but they're all broken up.

I wish for a decent scanner...

 

[dragoniteuser]

Granted, but you get arrested for printing false bills!

I wish for a Nissan Skyline GTR R34! God I love that car!

 

[Charizard632]

Granted, but it suddenly melted under the sun.

I wish for a campfire.

 

[TheWindMage]

Granted. It burns down a forest.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

 

[monsutafangs]

Granted, but you owe $9,999,999,999 in debt.

I wish that I could meet Lady Gaga !

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. After fainting upon meeting her, you fall backwards, but had a posture such that when you impacted, you fell into a deep coma. Knowing how much you wanted to meet Lady Gaga, a televised meeting with Lady Gaga was sponsored by the Make a Wish Foundation while you were completely unaware of your surroundings. It is now 20 years later. Rip van Winkle, etc.

I wish that Grendel would just read itself.