Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but it can't swim. It can't walk either.

No.

 

[Reddo]

You wish nothing... you get nothing...

I wish for a cake.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Not granted :D

I wish for more noes.

 

[Saitou]

Granted but you will suffocate for some reason.

I wish I owned Google!

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, you did own it once.

I wish for G. Oh, holy sweet G.

 

[ShyRayq]

granted but its a little g, MUHAHAHHAHA

i wish for something to wish for so i can wish for something to wish for so i can wish for something to wish for so i can wish for ..... and etc.

 

[Saitou]

Granted, but you will disappear.

I wish I were a nuclear missile.

 

[ShyRayq]

granted but you will blow up the moment you become a nuclear missle

i wish that the wish i will be granted will be as bad as the wish that wished that the wish that was above the other wish which is wishing to be a wish that could be used to wish for something that could be wished for =D

 

[Dark Pulse94]

granted, but it wasn't granted, as the wish i will be granted will be as bad as the wish that wished that the wish that was above the other wish which is wishing to be a wish that could be used to wish for something that could be wished for is not a wish

I wish to be OVER 9000!

 

[Saitou]

Granted but you will be a walking skeleton, with black bones. Your teeth will be fine, though.

I wish I live on Saturn.

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, but it's lower case saturn! :D HHAHQHAHAHWHAHAHAHA ..wait that's just lame.

I wish for a rebellious cookie. And some chocolate.

 

[Dark Pulse94]

granted, but the cookie ate the chocolate, and then kicked you in the shin! (before running away!)

i wish to know the colour of Tuesday

 

[Gardenia101]

granted, but the cookie ate the chocolate, and then kicked you in the shin! (before running away!)

i wish to know the colour of Tuesday

You climb to the top of Mt.Everest to ask some old dude, and he says there isn't one. Then he kicks you off the mountain.

I wish I had a faster laptop.

 

[jigglyppuff8]

Granted. It is constantly in overclock and therefore crashes all the time. But hey! Speed.

I wish I had a job in the banking industry.

 

[Surmonter]

Granted. Oh, congrats, you embezzled money. Welcome to prison.

I wish people were nice. :(

 

[Dark Pulse94]

Granted, but they were so nice that it drove you crazy, and when you asked them not to be nice, they couldn't, which wasn't nice (oh woe to the paradox)

i wish for Smugleaf

 

[Saitou]

Granted, but it will hate you.

I wish humans can fly.

 

[PG Tips]

Granted, but you turn into a housefly.

I wish for some action~!

 

[Pokestick good times.]

Granted, you are where the action is.
But you still die.

I wish for moar cookies!

 

[PG Tips]

Granted, but they're sugar-free. SUGAR-FREE!

I wish for a French toast and good health.