Venia Silente
Inspectious. Good for napping.
- 1,304
- Posts
- 16
- Years
- on the second floor's nest
- Seen today
Yay! New chapter(s)!
I was expecting today's (yesterday's) delivery with a bit of anxiety. Mentor is one of the two or three fics I'm following here at PC.
Now, for corrections, whatBakphoon バクフーン and Giratina-of-Never-Turn-Back said above. Also, some things that may sound a bit stange, you may want to check them out:
Then again, it may be just me.
And, of course, my personal comments:
Why does having a little bro/sis always end up bringing trouble? Oh well, there may be some things not even the most powerful Pokémon can solve... The simplicity with which she exudes her threat, yet at the same time the familiarity with which she offers her brother the "obvious way out", tells me that this girl either agrees with her brother but just wants to get something out of it, or that she gets an understanding of how a dream can be crushed so early (as she has asked if the same thing that happened to Ed will happen to her) and instinctively wants to desperately secure herself a fluffy companion that can soother her and lick her tears. Both figuratively and literally.
Now, seeing how she is a little sister, I'm leaning towards choice A myself, but choice B is so interesting and heartwarming, in a way.
After all, this scene slightly after the Koga battles I find quite revealing of her relationship with her brothers.
Maybe I said at some point back that Koga's battles felt a bit... simple. If I didn't then here it is. It's not the fact that Koga, being a Poison and status user, didnt try to do too much and during the battle against Ed or lay the smart way a Poison user would try; he essentially issued three orders and kept Grimer and Venonat busy attacking, but didn't take the, IMHO, subtler and more practical choice of keeping Coralie under check with Supersonic a bit longer, considering that under the circunstances near the end of the battle it would have been quite harder for Coralie Venonat Mode to go through trying Leech Life that to try and use Confusion again.
It's more that when compared to Blaine's battle and taking into consideration the mystery of these "forms", I have the impression that Koga willingly held back or tried to make the battle simply end quickly.
It was a bit less apparent during Ally's battle, but he still sent out a Beedrill of all things, when sending another (fresher) Grimer or having Venonat use the Supersonic strategy he would later use against Ed would have had far better results against that particular Voltorb if Koga had really done the ninja analysis he seemed to have done when he spoke to Ally about her Voltorb.
Or maybe I'm just a bit bitter that the last time I player LeafGreen, Koga somehow managed to almost crush the entirely of my team. The whole "gym levels" issue makes reading a novice-level battle against such leaders as Koga or Blaine always sound a bit strange.
Or, taking a third option, it may have just been the whole "Fuchsia is getting too long" factor.
Or, taking a fourth option, he's just getting old and soft so we'll soon have Jasmine as a Gym Leader?
Whatever it was, it made the battles sound more interesting, but at the same time, at least for me, their conclusions were a bit more disappointing when compared to what happened during the course of the battle.
Also, kudos on William's plan including that part where he fakes illness to disguise an anormal nighttime behaviour. I'll have to remember that part the next time I want to really, really get out from home.
Now, coming back to Leah...
Oooohhh.. so William has found Leah's weak point. That darn...
It's very interesting the way how you put out Leah's priorities in life. On one end, she has essentially the everygirl's life she may want to have, devoid of Pokémon training (and, unfortunately, of Sands...) with the plus of being filled with fangirlism, poetic hopes, and a more personal sense of adventure. On the other hand, she has essentially the same life, devoid of Pokémon training, and with the plus of being, the way I see it at least, more truer to herself. I think I can see Leah's conflicts shifting axis, from a mere want v/s neccesity conflict, apparent in the Islands in the way she mentally tried to drop responsibility by keeping herself close to Ally, to a deeper and more loosely connected fairness v/s clearness (as in "getting what she deserves, or what she fights for, versus getting only what life throws at her). If this is the intended direction you are pointing her character development towards, is going to be the new high point that will keep me attached to this fic (not counting Sands of course).
Speaking about Sands, I didn't miss him this chapter, but I think I can smell something in the air... an evil plan... yes, you're taunting me! Because when you asked...
After all, Sands loves his Fire Stone! That love, unrequited by design, is a decisive element in Leah's relationship with her Pokémon. Now, not only she has to go babysitting the kids again, but there is a chance, if things go particularily wrong, that the group may go around Route 8 one of these days... right? Maybe there is a Snorlax in the path and the only way they manage to go through is taking a seaside detour with help of a fisherman; they would then end up doing the Lavender→Saffron→Vermilion tour.
And what sometimes appears at Route 8 (Lavender←→Saffron), if I'm not mistaken, are Growlithe, a dog Pokémon that evolves into Arcanine... the same Pokémon Carla is using as leverage to keep Ed's plan, and maybe William's complicity, in secret. So, Ed may feel quite forced to capture a Growlithe and plea Leah to make use of her Fire Stone so Carla gets her Arcanine before things go crazy, right? Before, if things go this awry during the travel, the group will be far away from any obvious path, and with whatever information Ed's dad has gotten from Koga, the chase for the kids may turn awry at some point.
And, in the end, who would end up suffering there, being unable to express his pain in the same way than the others? None other than my beloved Sands, watching his Fire Stone go away! (or "die" after being used!)
So is that, or I'm really reading waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much into the story!
Hey! I told you your story has me tremendously lured here! :D
Now, to finish and seeing how Fuchsia City and Leah's happiness are left behind, I can only say this:
You better make that Jason Dare guy as neaty and yummy as Leah seems to believe he is, or I can foresee William getting in an endless world of hurt.And that would be quite fun to see!
I'll keep reading this, then!
I was expecting today's (yesterday's) delivery with a bit of anxiety. Mentor is one of the two or three fics I'm following here at PC.
Now, for corrections, what
I'm most positively wrong, but seeing that Ed has described (that William has described) the current emotional status of Mom and Dad, I would think the correct expression is "won't send". Maybe is because of they way that sentence translates into Spanish, but the "don't send" makes it feel like there is another action (about Mom and Dad) implicitly described after the period.Leah turned back around. "Hopefully they don't send the police after us, then."
Then again, it may be just me.
And, of course, my personal comments:
Almost cute, have to say. William has a weird way of being realistic, down to the ground if you know what I mean. The whole leg issue and the fact that he is the one to promote the escapade plan adds a refreshing factor to what has been explores of his personality. Now, not that I think Ed woulnd't have come with a (stupid) escapade plan on his own...William sighed. "That's fiction; it rarely happens in real life." He paused, his mind racing. "Ed, if you do runaway, what are you going to do?"
I think I've said it before: someone likes watching Leah suffer! And not only me! :D(Leah) said:It was so annoying! Just when she thought it was over, Ed immediately tore down that hope.
:badsmile: I like that girl! Reminds me of my sister...(Carla) said:"Eddy? Arcanine or I'll tell Mom and Dad," she promised.
Why does having a little bro/sis always end up bringing trouble? Oh well, there may be some things not even the most powerful Pokémon can solve... The simplicity with which she exudes her threat, yet at the same time the familiarity with which she offers her brother the "obvious way out", tells me that this girl either agrees with her brother but just wants to get something out of it, or that she gets an understanding of how a dream can be crushed so early (as she has asked if the same thing that happened to Ed will happen to her) and instinctively wants to desperately secure herself a fluffy companion that can soother her and lick her tears. Both figuratively and literally.
Now, seeing how she is a little sister, I'm leaning towards choice A myself, but choice B is so interesting and heartwarming, in a way.
After all, this scene slightly after the Koga battles I find quite revealing of her relationship with her brothers.
"Is Daddy angry at Eddy?" Carla asked, breaking the silence.
"N- No," Ally replied, her stutter making a return. "They're just talking."
"Ed might not be going back on his journey," Leah said, explaining the basic situation.
Carla quieted for a moment, petting Sands, before asking, "But why?"
That was something Ally couldn't explain well. "I- I don't know."
"But why?"
"Look," Leah said, gaining Carla's attention. "Ed got hurt and your parents don't want him being hurt again. That's it."
"But- But why?"
Maybe I said at some point back that Koga's battles felt a bit... simple. If I didn't then here it is. It's not the fact that Koga, being a Poison and status user, didnt try to do too much and during the battle against Ed or lay the smart way a Poison user would try; he essentially issued three orders and kept Grimer and Venonat busy attacking, but didn't take the, IMHO, subtler and more practical choice of keeping Coralie under check with Supersonic a bit longer, considering that under the circunstances near the end of the battle it would have been quite harder for Coralie Venonat Mode to go through trying Leech Life that to try and use Confusion again.
It's more that when compared to Blaine's battle and taking into consideration the mystery of these "forms", I have the impression that Koga willingly held back or tried to make the battle simply end quickly.
It was a bit less apparent during Ally's battle, but he still sent out a Beedrill of all things, when sending another (fresher) Grimer or having Venonat use the Supersonic strategy he would later use against Ed would have had far better results against that particular Voltorb if Koga had really done the ninja analysis he seemed to have done when he spoke to Ally about her Voltorb.
Or maybe I'm just a bit bitter that the last time I player LeafGreen, Koga somehow managed to almost crush the entirely of my team. The whole "gym levels" issue makes reading a novice-level battle against such leaders as Koga or Blaine always sound a bit strange.
Or, taking a third option, it may have just been the whole "Fuchsia is getting too long" factor.
Or, taking a fourth option, he's just getting old and soft so we'll soon have Jasmine as a Gym Leader?
Whatever it was, it made the battles sound more interesting, but at the same time, at least for me, their conclusions were a bit more disappointing when compared to what happened during the course of the battle.
Also, kudos on William's plan including that part where he fakes illness to disguise an anormal nighttime behaviour. I'll have to remember that part the next time I want to really, really get out from home.
Now, coming back to Leah...
Mmmm.... :bandit: -- And we all know it would be so beneficial for Leah, right? I could, for a moment, almost picture Leah "selling" the information to Ed's parents (don't ask why). Luckily, in a way, the next section sorta happened. Well done having William essentially read Leah like an open book.For instance, if the parents just happened to get wind of the plan, everything would fall apart, right?
Really now?" Leah asked, rolling her eyes. "And why would I want to go to some stupid convention in Vermillion city?"
William leaned forward and studied her closely, before saying, "Jason Dare."
Leah's heart skipped a beat and she felt her face heat up slightly.
Oooohhh.. so William has found Leah's weak point. That darn...
...And so she falls to the Dark side!Hmm, on one end, she had Jason Dare. On the other, she had several lazy and Pokemon-less days.
It was one of the hardest decisions of her life.
It's very interesting the way how you put out Leah's priorities in life. On one end, she has essentially the everygirl's life she may want to have, devoid of Pokémon training (and, unfortunately, of Sands...) with the plus of being filled with fangirlism, poetic hopes, and a more personal sense of adventure. On the other hand, she has essentially the same life, devoid of Pokémon training, and with the plus of being, the way I see it at least, more truer to herself. I think I can see Leah's conflicts shifting axis, from a mere want v/s neccesity conflict, apparent in the Islands in the way she mentally tried to drop responsibility by keeping herself close to Ally, to a deeper and more loosely connected fairness v/s clearness (as in "getting what she deserves, or what she fights for, versus getting only what life throws at her). If this is the intended direction you are pointing her character development towards, is going to be the new high point that will keep me attached to this fic (not counting Sands of course).
Speaking about Sands, I didn't miss him this chapter, but I think I can smell something in the air... an evil plan... yes, you're taunting me! Because when you asked...
And I reads this chapter and reread some previous events, I realized that things can take such obvious approach and then turn around completely even while still following the obvious path. All that has happened so far leads to the ultimate moment of choice Leah will have to do to liberate herself from the Mentor program and Sands will be a key element there:Anyways, I'm curious; does anyone have any predictions for later chapters?
Spoiler:
After all, Sands loves his Fire Stone! That love, unrequited by design, is a decisive element in Leah's relationship with her Pokémon. Now, not only she has to go babysitting the kids again, but there is a chance, if things go particularily wrong, that the group may go around Route 8 one of these days... right? Maybe there is a Snorlax in the path and the only way they manage to go through is taking a seaside detour with help of a fisherman; they would then end up doing the Lavender→Saffron→Vermilion tour.
And what sometimes appears at Route 8 (Lavender←→Saffron), if I'm not mistaken, are Growlithe, a dog Pokémon that evolves into Arcanine... the same Pokémon Carla is using as leverage to keep Ed's plan, and maybe William's complicity, in secret. So, Ed may feel quite forced to capture a Growlithe and plea Leah to make use of her Fire Stone so Carla gets her Arcanine before things go crazy, right? Before, if things go this awry during the travel, the group will be far away from any obvious path, and with whatever information Ed's dad has gotten from Koga, the chase for the kids may turn awry at some point.
And, in the end, who would end up suffering there, being unable to express his pain in the same way than the others? None other than my beloved Sands, watching his Fire Stone go away! (or "die" after being used!)
So is that, or I'm really reading waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much into the story!
Hey! I told you your story has me tremendously lured here! :D
Now, to finish and seeing how Fuchsia City and Leah's happiness are left behind, I can only say this:
You better make that Jason Dare guy as neaty and yummy as Leah seems to believe he is, or I can foresee William getting in an endless world of hurt.
I'll keep reading this, then!