Cassidy awoke the next morning, feeling a little homesick. She missed her father, despite his hard, outer shell. He was so proud of her, so happy that she had come as far as she did. Deep down, she knew that he was also proud of her magical accomplishments, though getting him to awknowlege it, much less admit it, was another story.
She took a quick shower, and got dressed. She threw on a pair of cargo khakis, a black, leather belt, a black 3/4 sleeve shirt, and a pair of black converse sneakers. She brushed her hair out quickly, drying it so it would not freeze if she went outside.
Down in the common room, she sat down by the fire, working on the last of her assignments. She was happy to finally get them over with, and put her books away for the rest of the holiday.
Making her way down to the Great Hall, she looked over her shoulder to see her mother trying to catch up with her. Cassidy rolled her eyes out of her mother's view, and prepared herself.
"Good morning, Cassidy," her mother said, walking at her side. Her dark curly hair was down and flowing around her energetically. Cassidy kept her eyes cast away. "Honey, I've got something I want to talk to you about after breakfast, okay?"
"Sure," Cassidy shrugged apathetically. She wished it had been her father who had come to visit.
They entered the Great Hall to eat some breakfast, and did not speak to each other. Cassidy felt really awkward, though she tried not to show it. Staring at her plate of bacon and eggs, she began to eat slowly.
They had finished breakfast before the rest of cassidy's friends had come down, so Cassidy's mother took a walk with her around the school.
"Now, dear, there's something we need to discuss," her mother said, her pace quick and lively. Cassidy plodded alongside, and nodded. "I've been talking to your father a lot about it, and we think it would be best if you came back with us to Japan after the spring term. Really, we know you've been struggling with a lot of things here, and your father seems to think that it would be important for you to further your martial arts training, since that is what you are good at."
Her mother's words stung like a slap in the face. How could she say that martial arts was the only thing she was good at? Cassidy had received high marks in all her classes, even potions! Disgruntled, Cassidy kept her eyes on the ground, her pace slowing. Her footsteps were heavy.
"Well, don't you have anything to say?" her mother asked, her voice tight with frustration.
"I don't want to leave Hogwarts," she told her mother. "But if Dad really thinks that it's what's best for me, then I guess I have to go."
"Well, it isn't really your father who thinks it would be best..." her mother admitted. "What with the dark arts rising, and some strange wizzards lurking about, I don't think this would be a good place for you to be...especially since you don't have very much magical power..."
"What does that have anything to do with it!?" Cassidy demanded defensively. Finally, the truth had come out. Her mother doubted her abilities. "Just becasue I don't have the brute force Andrew does doesn't mean I can't defend myself, or do well in my magic studies!"
"No...that's not what I'm saying...!" her mother protested.
"No....that's exactly what you're saying," Cassidy squeaked, tears clouding her eyes. She forced them back as best she could. Her side with the scar hurt tremendously. "You don't believe in me! My own mother!"
Cassidy took off down the hallway, blinded by her tears She couldn't believe her mother had said that, had compared her to Andrew in that way, and told her she wasn't good enough. Enraged, Cassidy sprinted up the stairs, seven flights, to Gryffindor Tower, where she changed into her gi grabbed her weaponry, and went in search of her the room she had used so many times before.
It was there, right next to the porthole this time. She flung open the door, and found herself in the dojo once more. Only this time, Dumbledore was there.
"Ah...hello sir," Cassidy said meekly, leaning her bo against a wall, and placing her numchaku on a table. "I'm sorry if I'm intruding..."
"No...no..." Dumbledore assured her gently. He looked around at his surroundings, looking rather impressed. "This is quite a nice place. You have a very vivid imagination."
"Thank you, sir," Cassidy said, her head bowed, and her eyes lowered.
"Your mother has spoken to me, concerning your attendance here at Hogwarts," Dumbledore began. Cassidy's eyes widened. "I really do respect her opinions. She was one of the best students this school has ever had."
Cassidy frowned and prepared herself for another disappointment.
"However," Dumbledore said, noticing her saddned expression. "I do not wish for you to leave Hogwarts."
Cassidy's head snapped up to look at him in suprise. Had he just said that?
"I believe you will be great," he told her honestly, walking towards her, and laying a hand on her shoulder. His blue eyes were filled with compassion and kindness. "I will try to convince her to let you stay. I can tell, despite your effort to banish your emotions, that you love it here."
"I do," Cassidy agreed, looking up at him. "But, sir...how did you know...?"
"About your lack of emotions?" Dumbledore asked. "Well, everyone can see that. It's very obvious. Whereas most children your age are going through a wide range of emotional feelings, you have a very limited range. While this can serve you well, it also hinders you."
Cassidy looked at him puzzled.
"You have great control over your negative emotions, because you neglect to feel the positive emotions. But don't you long to feel those happy feelings? Doesn't it make you feel incomplete?" Dumbledore asked her gently.
Cassidy nodded, hardly able to believe herself. She could not be angry, but she could not smile. She could not feel jealousy, but she could not feel proud of herself and her friends. She could not hate...but she could not love.
"I knew your father," Dumbledore told her, much to her suprise. He looked at her gently, a slight sympathetic smile crossing his face. "He does not wish to involve himself in magical acts because he himself is a wizzard who lacks magical power."
"He's a Squib?" Cassidy asked, her eyebrows narrowing.
"Well...yes," Dumbledore told her. "He lived in Japan al his childhood, and came here with his parents when he was eleven. He had a wonderful, golden spirit, and was a very kind and generous boy. However, he became hard as stone when he could not use magic at all, and was made fun of quite a bit. He dropped out after his first year. The only person who had been kind to him was your mother."
Cassidy listened, suprised. Her father's nature had been explained in just a few moments, after years and years of wondering.
"He is a good man, but I regret how rigidly he has raised you and Andrew," Dumbledore said sadly. He was quiet for a moment, letting it all sink in. "I should go so you can practice. Don't think too harshly of your mother, Cassidy. She only looks out for you."
With that, he was gone, and Cassidy was left to her thoughts. She picked up her bo, and swung it around in her warm up drills, and then proceeded straight to her kata. Letting her heart guide her for the first time since she could remember, her movements were stronger, more fluid, full of energy and feeling.
After about two hours, she turned to meditation, but found herself crying heavily instead. She lay sprawled on the floor of the dojo, her face buried in her arms, sobbing loudly. Momentarily, she wondered if anyone could hear her outside the room, but her mind was clouded with so much confusion, emotion, and information, that she didn't care who came through that door.