EDIT: I apologize for my insensitivity. I have decided to include a TRIGGER WARNING for users Archer99 and static. I'm happy to have a prayer circle with you guys or something.
LET'S GET TO IT:
Pidgeot @ Pidgeotite
Ability: Big Pecks
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
- Hurricane
- Heat Wave
- U-turn
- Roost
wow, shout-outs to mega pidgeot. some call him bird Jesus, but i think most of u know him as ur worst nightmare. bow down to the lord himself, for only one mega pokemon is worthy of our lord and savior's name, and here he is in all his glory. just click hurricane the rest doesn't matter. i would have gone with work up or something but hey, i just took this straight out of the mega pidgeot all-stars. have you ever heard the saying "if it aint broke don't fix it"? bingo welcome to this pidgeot set. i even have uturn for #momentum even though hurricane is all the momentum you need, especially when you bs through someone with the confusion chance LOL. truly a legend pokemon, few trainers exhibit the mastery needed to click its stab move and bulldoze through the various hyper offense builds on our server that don't prep for it despite its majesty. i love you mega pidgeot, even more thank drunk gloom.
Garchomp @ Life Orb
Ability: Rough Skin
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpA / 252 Spe
Naive Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Earthquake
- Dragon Claw
- Fire Blast
decided to go really aggressive with the chomp to get some early damage. it blows the doors down on clefable:
252 Atk Life Orb Garchomp Earthquake vs. 252 HP / 160 Def Clefable: 226-266 (57.3 - 67.5%) -- guaranteed 2HKO after Leftovers recovery
i've had trouble with the last moveslot. swords dance puts a ton of pressure on the opponent and can break down defensive cores (a lot of slow builds built around stopping stuff like m-meta aren't super well equipped to take lo sd boosted stab attacks) but fire blast has more utility against hazard-setting steel-types and chesnaught. without spin/defog support, i opted for the latter.
Keldeo-Resolute @ Choice Specs
Ability: Justified
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Secret Sword
- Hydro Pump
- Icy Wind
simply amazing offensive synergy with pidgeot, even though it opens up the manectric weakness a bit. tyranitar and heatran want nothing to do with this thing and it can easily weaken rotom-w into pidgeot kill range. it also puts pressure on chansey. i can't say i'm thrilled that this is my main stall breaker but hey, with bisharp and chomp/pidg it can tag-team some stuff. went for specs because the immediate power is rly nice and having used submind a lot, i feel like the metagame has adapted to it pretty well and its inability to hit hard until boosted can make it a liability in certain match-ups. :/
Clefable @ Leftovers
Ability: Magic Guard
EVs: 252 HP / 252 Def / 4 Spe
Bold Nature
- Moonblast
- Calm Mind
- Thunderbolt
- Soft-Boiled
idk wtf this is tbh but i use clef on like, all of my teams lol. i opted for a bit of a glue build here where it acts as a decent stop to physical attackers. was insanely talon weak and this lures it well, though tbolt's utility is pretty barren outside of that. status absorption is rly nice and can at least absorb non choice locked volt switches without dying in three seconds. :(
Celebi @ Leftovers
Ability: Natural Cure
EVs: 252 HP / 220 SpD / 36 Spe
Calm Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Thunder Wave
- Giga Drain
- Nasty Plot
- Recover
eh these last two slots suck and i'll change them if i have time, but i noticed weaknesses to diancie/m-bro/manaphy (really the usual suspects for the types of teams i like running) and also needed another ground immune/resist so i tossed this guy on. thunder wave is as an emergency stop against a few things i'm pretty poorly prepared for (can maim a torn-t or m-meta or w/e) though idk i might go with a nastypass since keld and pidg would love that!
Bisharp @ Life Orb
Ability: Defiant
EVs: 72 HP / 252 Atk / 184 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Knock Off
- Sucker Punch
- Iron Head
- Swords Dance
mostly just here to provide added offensive pressure vs. stall/semistall while acting as further protection from the latis. also checks clefable who i am pretty weak to haha. i'll make these last couple slots more efficient if i don't run out of time.
____________________________________
but let's be real. you're not here to see some bulky offense squad i threw together. i have better entries for this competition.
for the uu ladder race, i made some insanely stall weak voltturn (literally no wallbreakers LOL) that went 15-0 before i stopped playing since i had locked up the #1 seed. (btw will get around to my match vs. elf in that eventually LOL #kingjohn) anyway, once raikou and jirachi rose to ou i needed a new squad. turns out this is a terrible uu team but it has revolutionized the ou metagame with innovations like "anti as its user" and "mega pidgeot." so BEHOLD THE MEGA PIDGEOT ALL-STARS:
Slurpuff @ Sitrus Berry
Ability: Unburden
EVs: 44 HP / 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 208 Spe
Jolly Nature
- Belly Drum
- Play Rough
- Drain Punch
- Return
Pidgeot @ Pidgeotite
Ability: Big Pecks
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
- Hurricane
- Heat Wave
- U-turn
- Roost
Donphan @ Leftovers
Ability: Sturdy
EVs: 244 HP / 60 Atk / 200 Def / 4 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Earthquake
- Stealth Rock
- Rapid Spin
- Knock Off
Snorlax @ Leftovers
Ability: Thick Fat
EVs: 160 HP / 112 Atk / 96 Def / 140 SpD
Careful Nature
- Curse
- Body Slam
- Earthquake
- Rest
Suicune @ Leftovers
Ability: Pressure
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Scald
- Ice Beam
- Extrasensory
- Calm Mind
Entei @ Choice Band
Ability: Pressure
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Sacred Fire
- Extreme Speed
- Bulldoze
- Flare Blitz
mega pidgeot is awesome. the rest doesn't matter.
no garchomp? yeah whatever pidg has beaten too many of those to care for your petty restrictions.
don't believe me? as per the request in the op, i shall provide replays exhibiting this team's greatness:
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-137350: idk what i was doin on t1 LOL but it all worked out, sun/sand core? pffft np
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-145327: another weatherman gets the forecast wrong vs. pidg master
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ubers-149765: april fools
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-150921: pidgeot cares not for ur thunderbolts LOL
plus like 7459836 replays vs. oddEEsh but hey who's counting
____________________________________
after many sleepless nights, i realized that i needed a new gimmick to further annoy my fellow server patrons. i present to you a rebranding of the original:
Feraligatr @ Life Orb
Ability: Sheer Force
EVs: 252 Atk / 4 Def / 252 Spe
Adamant Nature
- Waterfall
- Ice Punch
- Crunch
- Agility
Pidgeot @ Pidgeotite
Ability: Big Pecks
EVs: 4 Atk / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
Naive Nature
- Hurricane
- Heat Wave
- U-turn
- Roost
Hydreigon @ Choice Scarf
Ability: Levitate
EVs: 4 Atk / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
- Draco Meteor
- Dark Pulse
- Fire Blast
- U-turn
Shaymin @ Leftovers
Ability: Natural Cure
EVs: 252 SpA / 4 SpD / 252 Spe
Timid Nature
IVs: 0 Atk
- Seed Flare
- Psychic
- Leech Seed
- Healing Wish
Swampert @ Leftovers
Ability: Torrent
EVs: 252 HP / 216 Def / 40 SpD
Relaxed Nature
- Stealth Rock
- Earthquake
- Scald
- Ice Beam
Bronzong @ Macho Brace
Ability: Levitate
EVs: 252 HP / 88 Def / 168 SpD
Relaxed Nature
IVs: 0 Spe
- Gyro Ball
- Earthquake
- Hypnosis
- Trick
some hilarious gimmicks on this squad, hw shaymin gets 'em every time and the bronzong makes me weep tears of joy.
i have even more replays showcasing the devilish nature of this squad:
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-154886: oof
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-154779: pidgeot gets 5 kills man what a legend
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-147996: a rare defeat and some possible chokin' down the stretch but yolo. even the great d_a is pushed to the brink
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/pokecommunity-ou-145879: ROFL
wow, i am but a mere peasant compared to m-pidg ^_^
SO, i enter all three teams into this competition. while the final two are ineligible, i hope you consider their impact on the metagame and admire their presence and their creator.
furthermore, consider this post a FINAL TEAM RETIREMENT of the mega pidgeot allstars, both v1 and v2. they have served me well, and they shall be missed. may pidgeot rest in peace...
...until, like Jesus/a pheonix rising from its own ashes, it comes again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and its kingdom shall have no end.