% That next day, Mel and Homer prepare to show the new, improved "Mr.
% Smith Goes to Washington." As it begins, Gibson, as Mr. Smith, is
% nearing the end of his filibuster speech.
Gibson: Well, I'm not licked. I'm going to stay here and fight for
this lost cause. Somebody will listen to me. Somebody will
... [collapses on the floor[
Payne: I believe the Senator has yielded the floor.
Gibson: [wakes up] Yield this, Senator Payne.
[throws an American flag like a javelin, striking Payne. He
falls on his desk, the flagpole now standing upright]
-- "Beyond Blunderdome"
% Gibson grabs two other senators and slams their heads inside two
% desks.
Gibson: I move, we impose some serious term limits.
Homer: [from the press gallery] I second that motion. [holds up a
rifle] With a vengeance! [tosses rifle to Gibson]
-- Why didn't Jimmy Stewart think of this? "Beyond Blunderdome"
% Catching the rifle, Gibson jumps up on a table and quips, "All in
% favor, say die." Then, spinning around on a table like Curly, the
% guns down most of the senators. The Senate leader complains that
% Gibson's actions are "highly unorthodox," and pounds a gavel. Gibson
% throws a fire extinguisher under the gavel, and when the leader hits
% it, it explodes. The explosion fills the building with smoke, and
% sends the statue on top of the Capitol Dome into the river.
%
% Just then, an aristocratic man storms in and identifies himself as
% the President of the United States. He demands to know what all the
% commotion is about. Gibson rips the National Seal down from the wall,
% and tosses it at the President, slicing off his head. The head lands
% at Gibson's feet. He picks it up and grimly says, "Happy birthday,
% Mr. President." A crowd of happy schoolchildren bursts in and carries
% Gibson off, cheering. Gibson takes his badge, and throws it into the
% dead Payne's hand. Payne's hand clutches it, and then relaxes. The
% lettering on the badge is changed to, "The End."
%
% The lights come up in the screening room.
Gibson: Pretty cool, huh?
Christian: You, uh, you chopped off the President's head.
Gibson: Bet you didn't see that coming.
Hannah: You impaled a United States Senator with the American
flag.
Milo: Why did Mr. Smith kill everybody?
Homer: It was symbolism. He was mad.
Christian: But this was going to be the studio's prestige picture,
like "Howard's End" or "Sophie's Choice."
Homer: Ugh. Those movies sucked. I only saw them to get Marge
into the sack. [sotto voce] P. S.: Mission
accomplished. [high-fives Gibson]
Christian: But we already bought five Golden Globe awards.
Gibson: I don't make movies to win awards. [holds up two Oscar
statuettes; speaks in sotto voce] Especially now that I
have two Oscars. [normal voice] I make movies for guys
like him.
Homer: Yeah, guys like me.
Christian: Who are you, anyway?
Homer: Do the words Executive Producer mean anything to you?
Gibson: Executive Producer?
Homer: We'll talk.
Christian: [takes film off the projector] You desecrated a classic
film. This is worse than "Godfather III."
Gibson: Whoa, whoa, hey, whoa! Let's not say things we can't
take back.
Christian: All right, all right, I'm sorry. But this film is never
going to see the light of day. [takes a lighter to the
film, intending to set it aflame]
[Gibson and Homer gasp]
Gibson: [pointing out the window] Look -- they're towing away a
Range Rover.
[Christian, Milo, and Hannah run to the window to look]
Hannah: There's no --
Gibson: [grabbing film] Yoink! C'mon Homer, we've got a movie
to premiere.
Homer: Woo hoo! [Gibson and Homer beat a hasty retreat]
Christian: We've got to get that film back or we're all going to
get fired, you know what I mean?
Milo: Yeah.
Christian: Huh?
Milo: Yeah.
Christian: Huh?
Milo: Yeah.
Christian: Huh?
Milo: Fired.