Pressure(Writing Poems Again :P)

[darkpokeball]

An intense soccer match
I couldn't give a ratch
Bored from seeing
Kleats making people bleedin'
Bored from people straining
To see if their children are sprainin'
I use what I've done before
Little did I know what it tore
It tore the bond between
Me and my friends in jeans
I tried reading a book
Then played a game
They had to look
They had to see
The pokemon nerd within me
I was confused at why they laughed
It seems I did another gaff
They told me that
Pokemon was too young for me
They told me that
By my age they could clearly see
I should quit and stop the glee
That came from catching Bunearies!
Over time they kept sayin'
Pokemon was for maturity delayin'
Unsure what to do
I opened up my C.P.U.
I shared my feelings with the net
Over this pokemon age fret...

<So...choice is up to you. Should I quit or not quit?>

 

[TJgamer]

Nice to see you again!

Your poem is okay.
It's structure, as in syllable count and rhythm, is a bit off.
I liked the Pokémon reference though.

Should you quit?
Certainly not!
Like I've said, it takes plenty of practice.
Also reading other poems can help you learn better.

 

[darkpokeball]

Meow? The question was should I quit pokemon? Another poem about it as the problem progresses:

Pokemon is just a game
With creatures in which to tame
But everyone is all the same
They keep saying
that it's too lame

Confused on what to choose
Should I make pokemon
Something I loose?
More and more pressure
Builds each day
Wishing the problem
Would just run away,
I ask the forum
Via a pokemon poem
What's your thoughts
Is pokemon one of the not's?

Poem over. Btw, the poem in it is pronounced Po-Uhm to rhyme xD. But, what do you think is the true age limit?

 

[TJgamer]

In truth, there really isn't an age limit.
People ranging from kids to old age like to play Mario, Zelda, Metroid, etc.
How is Pokémon any different?
In fact, in the Unova region (Pokémom Black & White), you are depicted as a teenager, not a young boy or girl.

And how long have you been a fan of Pokémon?
I have started my journey in the Sinnoh region (Pokémon Diamond) and I have only been playing for about a year and a half. I'm over 17 years old.

In short, my answer is no.
As long as you continue to do well in the real world, there isn't anything wrong.
You can be a fan no matter how old or who you are.

The Pokémon world,
Is a place of adventure,
And great enjoyment.

Wrote it myself. :cer_wink:

 

[darkpokeball]

lol, got it! Pokemon is back! Btw, I also started in Diamond when me and my friend decided to give it a try. Aww...good times, and I remember how startled I was when he said his Piplup evolved. I didn't even know what an evolution was xD.. NEW POEM(They just never stop!):

I was beginning to worry and slip
As friends pulled me away
from my pokemon grip
I remember the dreaded day
And though my friends will still say
the same sentence as on
That memory beyond
Usual doubt.

I refuse to listen to being called a nerd
So what if one of my friends is a turd
Pokemon is fun and I'll continue to play
No matter what they say, any day

Thanks to you, TJGamer
For telling me to not listen to
that "Pokemon couldn't be any lamer"
A final thanks to you...

<Don't leave this thread yet! There's more comin'! I'm avenging the lost poems of 'A Pokemon Poem' thread, where I started poetry, and where I forgot to back up the poems in another place. Yup, they're gone forever xD. So, same pattern as that one: Poem>Review>Poem>Review>Poem>Review>Poem>Review...etc. xDD>

 

[Aoi~♥!]

It's fine, You'll learn and improve more so don't give up! Keep it up!

 

[darkpokeball]

My my, that was kind of fast. But, if you all payed a visit to my first thread, (which makes me sad, realizing there's no way to get my first poems back), it's time to do a little revival. My first poem was about a Togepi and an Ekans if memory serves. So, let's do another one with those same characters, though a different poem:

Ekans slithered through the green, tall grass
Hoping to whoop Togepi's <censored xD>
Togepi, however, was prepared
Though Ekans approached, it wasn't scared
The Ekans had venom and intended to bite
Togepi intended to put up a good fight
Though seemingly in an awful plight,
The half-egg creature knew what to do
Ekans now, was curious onto why he
wasn't afraid! But Ekans suddenly knew
Togepi, indeed, wasn't alone
Oh how Ekans wanted to eat it's bone!
But Togepi clapped
And Ekans was trapped
By an army of Pichu's
Quagsire's, even Pachirisu's!
Ekans, scared, tried to escape
But they just kept coming,
Including Mankey and Primape
Ekans now knew to give up
For he was surrounded by a hoarde,
Including Granbull and his pup
As Ekans was getting creamed
Togepi got bored
Until Ekans screamed
But to that, he ignored
After a while, Togepi knew he had one
But, he found quite boring instead of fun

<MWA HA HA! Any1 remember my second poem that I can revive those chars? It's to give a kind of deja vu and it's kinda cool when u think about it>

<EDIT: I JUST FOUND ALL MY OLD POEMS! WOO-HOO, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME! I do admit I got a little cocky near the end, as shown by Astinus's post, but still, WOO-HOO! Here ya go: https://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=217096&highlight=Poem&page=2 Psst...don't forget to check out my never-expanding current poems too in this thread. I will rise to my former glory and higher!>
<EDIT EDIT: lol, after posting that, I realized that's the link to the second page! :P oh well, the first page is just as easy to access. With all these edits, I just might as well write a poem in them @_@>

 

[TJgamer]

Yeah, I remember your first poems pretty well.

Thanks to you, TJGamer
For telling me to not listen to
that "Pokemon couldn't be any lamer"
A final thanks to you...

Awww. That's so sweet! :cer_smile:
And you're very welcome.

And as for your new poem about Ekans and Togepi. I found it too....weird? I don't know, I found it wacky.
Aside that, here's a couple good tips for writing poetry.
Be careful when cutting a sentence off at the end of a line.
Example:

Ekans now, was curious onto why he-
-wasn't afraid! But Ekans suddenly knew

A lot of the time, it doesn't work too well.

And also you should learn to properly punctuate and capitalize.
Capitalize the first letter of each line and add punctuation at the end of each line.

Just as Aoi said, you'll learn and improve more.

 

[darkpokeball]

lol, I am just not good at writing about Togepi and Ekans. NEXT POEM:

She ran through the night, dark and bleak
She'd ben running awhile and her muscles felt weak
The other walked slowly behind, following the footprints
Wearing dark sunglasses with pitch-black grainy tints
Trudging along in the snow, the other met her
She wanted to scream, and her pants grew wetter
The other slowly pulled out a polished axe
And slowly came towards her, as if relaxed
The girl was tired, with her back to a tree
Is there were her body let her soul free?
A piercing siren filled the air
Then out came two blue uniformed pairs
The girl realized that she was saved
By the four police officers, all shaved
The other wasn't scared and didn't show fear
The other didn't know that death was near
The police pulled out two gleaming black guns
And the other's death had begun
After the victory, the girl was taken to her house
Where her parents hugged her and she saw her pet mouse
It was white-ish gray
Reminding her of the snow on the horrifying day
But, the girl had learned something great
Don't share your private info. on FaceBook
Or else you'd end up with someone with a killer trait

(lol, poem about cyber-predators)
<EDIT:

Awww. That's so sweet!

And you're very welcome.

:P I guess. Btw, it wuz kinda hard finding a rhyme for TJGamer that fitted xD. I iz thankful for the reviews. Who knows? Maybe I'll write an entire poem just saying Thank You, as you deserve a big one.

 

[TJgamer]

It's just hilarious how you come up with such random ideas for poetry and rhyming.
It's not perfect, but it is an improvement from your earlier one.
Nice job!

Oh by the way, I don't care at all about FaceBook. :cer_wink:

 

[darkpokeball]

Back! Sorry I was gone for a while, playing another game! Anyways, NEXT POEM:

I hear the shot before she
I feel the bullet hit me
I wonder if the man knew
My chances of death were few
As I have five lives
And experienced three deaths
From guns of knives
A slice to the right, a shot to the left
Most of this happened just because
Others were scared of my curse
But beneath my blood-red eyes and yellow fur
I wish to be carried away in a hearse
Though I can kill those humans like fleas
I'm not a killer, that's not me...

<Ever wonder how the monster in monster movie's feel? There's the feelings of a nice one!>

 

[TJgamer]

I never really put much thought into a monster's feelings. Except for the Pocket Monsters (Pokémon).
I really shouldn't judge anything by its cover. We all shouldn't.

Nice poem too.

 

[darkpokeball]

I tremble in fear
The end is here
I count down slow
Before the world must go
Squeeze my eyes shut tight
What a terrible plight
I take a deep breath
Earth's life has been theft
By the worst villian born
Who others scourn
It's human

Everybody's with their families
I have none to be around
Quivering souls and knocking knees
The end will come without a sound
I continue counting, we're nearly all dead
I continue counting, before the pure ground
Is splattered with red
I continue counting, our lives will be lost and never found
Five...four...
I wish the end was coming even more
Three....Two
Mankind is through
Finally One...
The end has begun.

<It's the end of the world!>

 

[TJgamer]

I sense a haunting essence in this poem.

....Well, sort of.

Anyway, very nice job!

 

[darkpokeball]

My blood chills and my body freezes when I hear it
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
My arms go limp and my eyes widen, instinct taking over wit
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
I thought I was safe, behind this sturdy, steel door
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
Once more, I hear it's deafening roar
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
It's coming, faster and swift
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
It came through a monstrous rift
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
It's claws tear through the steel as if it were air
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
There's no where to run from this awful nightmare
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
It enters the room, it's fangs seeming to glow
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
And alas, there's nowhere to go
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
Y'know the thumping throughout this story?
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
That was the thing keeping this from turning gory
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.
The thumping stops,as the floor beneath me opens
The monster falls after, hoping to be the one that wins
We land on some padding
And the monster, so maddening
Is now safe from the thing lurking above
I pet the monster, my pet who I love
It wanted to win, but win what I wonder
We are safe, there was no blunder
It sticks out it's paw, in the shape of a fist
It was 'Rock Paper Scissors', I stick out my wrist
It's connected to the hand, which move is paper
When I hear a grunting, and realize
The enemy is coming, my eyes go wide
It lands between me and my pet
I'm scared, though my friend doesn't fret
In a second it's my pet fighting the beast
I was worried, to say the least
But the enemy soon fell dead to the floor
My pet's expression saying the fight was a bore...
<:O>

 

[TJgamer]

Your imagination just...astounds me!
This one was really good! The rhyming is well thought, the 'thumping' was impressive, I don't know.
A job very well done!

 

[Scytheteen]

I really like seeing how much of an effort you give into writing poetry, and you have such an imagination! I'd say keep writing poetry, and keep playing pokemon. I'm 16, and still play it. As for your poetry, it's a real start! I just have a couple of pointers for you:

1- I can tell that you like rhyming, but make sure you keep a consistent theme so the poem flows nice and easy. And remember, poetry isn't all just about rhyming, so don't kill yourself if a poem doesn't rhyme

2: Watch out for the spelling and grammar mistakes. It's silly to have a good poem to be diminished by silly errors. Try using a spell check before submitting your poems.

3: Just relax and have fun with it! I can tell you're trying very hard, just relax and let the pen do the work, you're mind will catch up and you'll really start getting some great stuff out.

 

[darkpokeball]

I really like seeing how much of an effort you give into writing poetry, and you have such an imagination! I'd say keep writing poetry, and keep playing pokemon. I'm 16, and still play it. As for your poetry, it's a real start! I just have a couple of pointers for you:

1- I can tell that you like rhyming, but make sure you keep a consistent theme so the poem flows nice and easy. And remember, poetry isn't all just about rhyming, so don't kill yourself if a poem doesn't rhyme

2: Watch out for the spelling and grammar mistakes. It's silly to have a good poem to be diminished by silly errors. Try using a spell check before submitting your poems.

3: Just relax and have fun with it! I can tell you're trying very hard, just relax and let the pen do the work, you're mind will catch up and you'll really start getting some great stuff out.

Useful pointers. Sorry, my Internet's freaking out saying <enter website name here>is unavaiblible when I try it. However, No-Add ons Internet and 64-Bit work. Mozilla Firefox is also working. Anyone know what's going on? Oh, NEXT POEM!

Have you ever seen someone die
Have you wanted to kiss life goodbye
Have you been wrecked on the inside
Have you felt the gap between you
And Happiness is just too wide?
Have you ever felt more than blue
Depression simply overflowing
The worst part is that it'll become
Worse and worse and it just keeps going
Have you ever felt your heart go numb
Have you ever lost someone dear
Have you ever thought your life should end here
<Simple and relaxed, but there ya go!>

 

[Scytheteen]

Much better! I can see you're really learning, especially about the rhyming. This one definitely has a scheme, it's a little off, but overall a huge improvement! Very well done, keep writing!

 

[TJgamer]

Scytheteen is certainly right.
You are really improving!

I enjoyed reading this one.