Rescue Team: Silver Dollar (PG-13, Violence, Romance, Drama, and Adult Situations)

[Nikko.Ideator]

Rescue Team: Silver Dollar! (PG-13, Violence, Romance, Drama, and Adult Situations)

​

Introduction
Hello, welcome to my fanfic. My last one was a failure, because I was half-asleep at, like, 12:00 pm when I wrote it. This is a MD-type fic, but does not involve a kid with amnesia that forms a rescue team. It's about a kid that was a Pokemon his whole life, and lives in this place called "The Four Continents" (Autumn Continent, where he lives, Winter Highlands, Summer Island, and Spring Country). Anyway, my goal is to make it enjoyable to all types of readers, as it will have romance (Riolu and Buneary), action (rescue missions), humor (the sarcastic Pikachu), death and darkness (Darkrai, as read in the prologue), and drama (Lots pretty much everywhere). If you are still interested, read on. There's a storyline and character bio section below! For these first parts (Not the fic), I'm going to make the text smaller to save room.​

Storyline
There was a Riolu, living in a town in Autumn Continent, but has to leave due to an outbreak of murders in his region, so he goes and fulfils his life dream of starting a Rescue Team. Along the way, he meets a shining Bunneary and a sarcastic Pikachu. But they don't know there's a dark secret in the Autumn Continent, that can destroy the entire region, and the three soon find out they're the ones responsible for stopping it. Can the three stop the Evil of Autumn and save the world, or will everything go down in ashes?

Map of the Four Continents

Spoiler:

Prologue:​

Spoiler:

A teenage Monferno, still half drunk and half high from the party he just got back from, was walking back home on the dark, lonely road. But he didn't care, half of his sensory system refused to cooperate with him due to the substances he put in his body. He walked clumsily, and was humming to himself as if he was crazy. He was a stupid teenager, the kind that dies because he does foolish things.

He was about to doze off, and fall on the floor where his body will be found in the morning, but instead noticed something odd. A portal, whirling and twirling appeared, right before his eyes. He thought it was just the after-affect of the drugs, but it seemed a bit too vivid to be so. Suddenly, a black Pokemon, a spiky, cloak-like lower body, with what seemed to be red bandanna tied around his mouth and smoke coming from its head.

"I am Darkrai. I have observed many like you, you are the type that isolates yourself from popular fears and petty beliefs. Created, by this paranoid society. And I know, deep down, you just want it to go away."​

"He-hey! B-b-bad M-m-m-mojo, man! Bad mojo! The Piplup...vacation..." ​

"Silence!", exclaimed Darkrai, blasting a lightning-like beam towards his mouth. "I can help you. I can make all this fear, just, go away. I can make them fly away, like a gust of wind. Join me, and we will create an army. We will create a new world over this tainted society!" ​

"N-no, m-m-m-m-man. No nachos. I d-d-don't- want-! Evil spirits! Beg-gone, man!" ​

"That was a foolish answer, my friend." ​

Suddenly, the environment around Darkrai and the foolish teenage Pokemon began changing. "I can do horrible things to those who defy me!" Darkrai created a ball of dark matter, and blasted it at the Monferno. It slashed Monferno using dark claws, blood dripping on the floor below them. ​

"I can make you wish you weren't born!" Darkrai's pupils disappeared when his eyes began glowing, he was creating an illusion. A giant, disgusting looking centipede-like creature, with a circular mouth, and long, sharp teeth emerged, and then immediately exploded, insect blood that almost resembled human phlegm, exploded, and fell into the dark illusion Darkrai was creating.​

"I can take you places you would never even see in your worst nightmares!" Suddenly, the spinning backdrop disappeared, and they were warped to a dark underground cave. Bug-Type Pokemon were crawling, bloodthirsty Pokemon fluttering around. Monferno had a half-dazed, half-frightened. ​

"But I can also make the pain go away." Suddenly, the backdrop changed again. They were floating over a garden, where beautiful flowers grew and the bright, warm sun beat on the two.​

"It's all up to you. Would you like to suffer eternal pain, or join me, and be forever free. Forever joyous, and carefree. All the pressures that hold you down in this world will be eliminated." ​

"N-no. I-I...This is a dream. It ain't real! I'm not at the...Singing Contest! You're not a Butterfree! L-leave me alone!" The illusion faded, and the two were back on the road. ​

"I'm disappointed in you, child." Suddenly, Darkrai created a claw, which sliced into the teenage Pokemon's heart, leaving him on the floor, dead.​

"Fools. Your world is mine. I will destroy it with my legendary powers, and not even the Rescue Team Force can stop me!" He pointed is face into the night, laughing maniacally.​

Archive!​

Book 1: The Fire of Autumn!

-Prologue: Rise of Darkrai!...is above.
-Chapter 1: Riolu's Beginning!
-Chapter 2: The Shining Bunneary!
-Chapter 3: The Tunnels have Eyes!
-Chapter 4: Team Battle! Versus Electivire!
-Chapter 5: The Wartortle Guild!​

 

[.:God:.]

Oh my God! This is great! The best Fan-Fic I've ever read so far! Can I make something similar to this, like MD? Not a copy, but something similar? Anyway, I love the story! Keep working on it!

 

[Pikalover10]

I overall liked it. It was really cool how you started off with the drunk Monferno and how he thought he was in a singing contest and then Darkrai killed him. (My onlt disagreement is that some parts I could barely read because the font was so small so....Could you make it a little bigger plz?)

 

[bobandbill]

Hmm, I have to disagree a tad here, but hey, people's opinions can differ.

Firstly, I'm not really the biggest fan of story outlines or character bios. They just seem a bit lazy, really, when one could simply tell us what these characters are like within the story. Plus - you give away a lot of what has happened or what may happen - too much really. It's better if you were to show us these facts and events and whatnot within the story, rather than tell us before it even begins. That way it would be even more enjoyable, and more like a proper piece of written work.

Also - the text. DO NOT go and center it or make it such a small size. Makes it hard to read, it's recommended to stick to the forum default that way.

A teenage Monferno, still half drunk and half high from the party he just got back from, was walking back home on the dark, lonely road. But he didn't care, half of his sensory system refused to cooperate with him due to the substances he put in his body. He was a stupid teenager, the kind that dies because he does foolish things. He was about to doze off, and fall on the floor where his body will be found in the morning, but instead noticed something odd. A portal, whirling and twirling appeared, right before his eyes. He thought it was just the after-affect of the drugs, but it seemed a bit too vivid to be so. Suddenly, a black Pokemon, a spiky, cloak-like lower body, with what seemed to be red bandanna tied around his mouth and smoke coming from it's head.

Soo... a drunk teenage Monferno - and high on drugs? Interesting concept, and amusing as well - although it raises some questions...

Main qualms with this is that you are still telling, rather than showing. You tell us that he is drunk, that he didn't care, he was a 'stupid teenager', what he did... etc. But, if you were to show us, well, again it would be more enjoyable. For instance - he walked home in a drunken state - but how did he walk exactly? Did, he say, run into anything? Was he singing to himself in a drunken manner? Those things would show us that he is drunk, and would save you having to tell us so. That we we get dragged into the story even more, and get to use some of our imagination. Another example - 'instead he saw something quite odd'. But then you show use what it is anyway - so why tell us beforehand anyway?

Sentence lentgh could do with a bit of variation, and twice you continued a sentence with a comma when something else could be used, or a new sentence could be made. Hence the bolded commas. Also - its, not it's, or it is.

"I am Darkrai. I have observed many like you, you are the type that isolates yourself from popular fears and petty beliefs. Created, by this paranoid society. And I know, deep down, you just want it to go away." "He-hey! B-b-bad M-m-m-mojo, man! Bad mojo! The Piplup...vacation..." "Silence!", exclaimed Darkrai, blasting a lightning-like beam towards his mouth. "I can help you. I can make all this fear, just, go away. I can make them fly away, like a gust of wind. Join me, and we will create an army. We will create a new world over this tainted society!" "N-no, m-m-m-m-man. No nachos. I d-d-don't- want-! Evil spirits! Beg-gone, man!" "That was a foolish answer, my friend."

See - random drunken rambling here - this could also have been used eariler as well to show that this Monferno is drunk.
Everytime someone different speaks, hit the enter button twise - e.g.:

"Why hello there," Person A said.

"Shut up," said Person B.

Helps presentation-wise, and a basic dialogue rule.

And I do question why Darkrai, ruler of dreams and all, suddenly wants to create an army. Just somewhat out of the blue there, and questionable. Calls for some possible plotholes as well - maybe you'll need to think it some more.

Would you like to suffer eternal pain, or join me, and be forever free.

Sounds a bit like a question, and worded oddly on Darkrai's part.

Suddenly, Darkrai created a claw, which sliced into the teenage Pokemon's heart, leaving him on the floor, dead.

What, what? That also was sudden, but in a slightly questionable way, in that Monferno just died too darn quickly. Not much description there, which kinda hurt the moment a little, IMO.

"Fools. Your world Is mine. I will destroy it with my legendary powers, and not even the Rescue Team Force can stop me!" He pointed is face into the night,

Some mistakes there...
And why the heck is Darkrai suddenly saying "muhaha look at me nobody can stop me especially not *insert name here*!'. That suggests that the aforemented team, which we know a lot about, suddenly will be the ones to save the day and all that jazz, right? See, the character bios and all kinda make it predictable, and you simply tell us too much information. Veil some stuff in mystery, instead of telling us everyone's evil plans right off the bat.

Why is Darkrai mentioning the resuce force team as well? If he's not concerned... why mention it? Or is he crazier than what I give him credit for? And why the gloating that he killed a half-drunk drugged-up Monferno? That in itself isn't the most glorious achievement ever... :/

In all, it just feels a bit lacking, and already predictable because you told too much. Try to show more, and tell less. Have more description. Darkrai deciding to create an army also seems a bit WTF-able, IMO. It's not bad, and certainly has potential, and the prologue was decent - just could have been delievered better IMO. With some work here you may have quite the fic. So don't rush around, and consider my points. Good luck with your fic, BTW. :)

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

Hmm, I have to disagree a tad here, but hey, people's opinions can differ.

Firstly, I'm not really the biggest fan of story outlines or character bios. They just seem a bit lazy, really, when one could simply tell us what these characters are like within the story. Plus - you give away a lot of what has happened or what may happen - too much really. It's better if you were to show us these facts and events and whatnot within the story, rather than tell us before it even begins. That way it would be even more enjoyable, and more like a proper piece of written work.

Also - the text. DO NOT go and center it or make it such a small size. Makes it hard to read, it's recommended to stick to the forum default that way.

Soo... a drunk teenage Monferno - and high on drugs? Interesting concept, and amusing as well - although it raises some questions...

Main qualms with this is that you are still telling, rather than showing. You tell us that he is drunk, that he didn't care, he was a 'stupid teenager', what he did... etc. But, if you were to show us, well, again it would be more enjoyable. For instance - he walked home in a drunken state - but how did he walk exactly? Did, he say, run into anything? Was he singing to himself in a drunken manner? Those things would show us that he is drunk, and would save you having to tell us so. That we we get dragged into the story even more, and get to use some of our imagination. Another example - 'instead he saw something quite odd'. But then you show use what it is anyway - so why tell us beforehand anyway?

Sentence lentgh could do with a bit of variation, and twice you continued a sentence with a comma when something else could be used, or a new sentence could be made. Hence the bolded commas. Also - its, not it's, or it is.

See - random drunken rambling here - this could also have been used eariler as well to show that this Monferno is drunk.
Everytime someone different speaks, hit the enter button twise - e.g.:

Helps presentation-wise, and a basic dialogue rule.

And I do question why Darkrai, ruler of dreams and all, suddenly wants to create an army. Just somewhat out of the blue there, and questionable. Calls for some possible plotholes as well - maybe you'll need to think it some more.


Sounds a bit like a question, and worded oddly on Darkrai's part.

What, what? That also was sudden, but in a slightly questionable way, in that Monferno just died too darn quickly. Not much description there, which kinda hurt the moment a little, IMO.

Some mistakes there...
And why the heck is Darkrai suddenly saying "muhaha look at me nobody can stop me especially not *insert name here*!'. That suggests that the aforemented team, which we know a lot about, suddenly will be the ones to save the day and all that jazz, right? See, the character bios and all kinda make it predictable, and you simply tell us too much information. Veil some stuff in mystery, instead of telling us everyone's evil plans right off the bat.

Why is Darkrai mentioning the resuce force team as well? If he's not concerned... why mention it? Or is he crazier than what I give him credit for? And why the gloating that he killed a half-drunk drugged-up Monferno? That in itself isn't the most glorious achievement ever... :/

In all, it just feels a bit lacking, and already predictable because you told too much. Try to show more, and tell less. Have more description. Darkrai deciding to create an army also seems a bit WTF-able, IMO. It's not bad, and certainly has potential, and the prologue was decent - just could have been delievered better IMO. With some work here you may have quite the fic. So don't rush around, and consider my points. Good luck with your fic, BTW. :)

Thanks! I'll make all the required grammatical corrections right away. I'm obsessed with grammar, especially commas (Just look at my posts sometime), so if there are any errors in that department, let me know. Maybe I should have been more specific on the purpouse of the intrduction, though. It was to demonstrate Darkrai's capabilities in torturing people, so when he uses them later on, it won't be as confusing. Darkria kills Monferno to show his power, Monferno isn't the least bit important. And in Darkrai's past life, (I should not spoil this but I must), he was thwarted by the Rescue Force, not a specific team, the whole force. Later, Riolu is going to wake up, and Delibird delivers the newspaper, where he reads about the dead Monferno. Then he abandons his home, because that's the third murder story that week in Autumn Continent, about 40th that month, so he goes to the Wartortle Guild, meets Bunearry and Pikachu, forms a team, blah blah blah...

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Chapter 1[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Riolu slept unsteady that night. The Autumn Continent was not the safe, happy place he used to know. There was a murder last night, and it was not the first that week, or even month. It was only Tuesday, and there were already two murders. There were about 40 that month, but most of them took place in the second week, in the quiet, rural country of South Autumn Continent.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]After lying awake for many hours, in fear of the dark outside his small, adobe cott with two un-glassed windows, the Sun rose. Riolu rose from his bed, sleepy. He stepped outside, toward the stream. Unlike the richer Pokemon living in Futuropolis or Wartortle Guild City, he was a resident of the rural, low-class Autumna Village. He was so poor, he didn't have running water. However, that never bothered him, since bating in the cold water in the stream was bracing. Upon returning, he noticed Delibird, the local delivery boy.[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Oh, hello, Delibird. Did you hear about the-" [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Yes. Unfortunately, it was a very near and dear friend to me. I hope they catch that damn criminal."[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif] "I'm sorry for your loss." said Riolu.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"That's OK. You'd better read the newspaper. This one's disturbing." "Another one?" Asked Riolu, shocked. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"They're planning on evacuating South Autumn, it's that bad, I already built a safe house on the hills, the murderer will never find me there. I suggest you high-tail it out of here too. The times are horrible." Said Delibird.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I can't leave this place. It was my home since my parents died." Replied Riolu.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Well, I can't make you. But I highly suggest it. Good day to you, Riolu."[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Riolu took the newspaper, and placed it on the table indoors. There was an article, apparently a murder story, that was heavily emphasized by the "HEADLINE NEWS!" bubbles everywhere, so Riolu opened to it. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Last night, a teenage Monferno was found dead on Autumna Avenue. It was believed that he may have died due to illegal substances found in his autopsy, but it was later found that his heart was missing, confirmed that it was cut out. This definitely seems our notorious 'Killer's' style, so this will be under investigation." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]And the article continued, but Riolu did not want to read on. [/FONT][FONT=Arial, sans-serif]He closed the newspaper, with a blank shock on his face. Re realized it now. Autumna is only a few blocks down. That settles it. Riolu must leave. He packed a nap-sack, containing food, hiking supplies, some money, then he set off. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]When he was outside, Riolu looked back at his house, the one he learned to love so much. A tear came from his eye, but he ran from the house. He didn't even bother looking back, that would make it harder. He knew where he must go.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]When Riolu was a boy, his family fell in a pitfall trap. The trap was full of rampaging Donphan. His parents died before his eyes, and he knew he was next. Riolu held on for his life, but then a miracle occurred. A Wartortle appeared above, followed by many powerful-looking Pokemon. It was the Guild. The Wartortle Guild was the greatest, most elite force of Rescue Teams in the Four Continents. Wartortle jumped down, shielding Riolu with it's powerful shell, then shooting blasts of water at the rampaging elephants. They all went flying, and soon, the pit was empty for everyone but Wartortle and Riolu.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Since then, Riolu was forever grateful of the Rescue Force. He always wanted to form a Rescue Team so he can save Pokemon in need, just like Wartortle did for him. And since he must leave home, that's where he'd go. He would go to the Guild, and form a team. He would be safe there, and he can live his dream.[/FONT]

 

[Pikalover10]

I liked it...I don't think I saw any errors other than a few mispelled words but that was about it.

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

I liked it...I don't think I saw any errors other than a few mispelled words but that was about it.

M-m-m-m-m-m-mmmispelled words?:disappoin?? Where?

 

[Pikalover10]

Oh was Autumna Avenue supposed to be Autumna???

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

Yeah, it was the street where Monferno was murdered.

 

[Pikalover10]

Yeah I know it was the one that Manferno was murdered on but I didn't know that it was supposed to be spelt that way...sorry.:(

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

Yeah I know it was the one that Manferno was murdered on but I didn't know that it was supposed to be spelt that way...sorry.:(

No problem. The Continents' places tend to be named after the continent.

 

[Pikalover10]

Ok. Well I can't wait for Chapter 2 then!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

Bump. I was gone for a while. Chapter 2 will be coming soon!

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Chapter 2:[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Riolu walked toward Autumna Square, a once bustling square full of emotion, shops, performers, and Pokemon. But it no longer was that. Since the murders, people have left. This once bustling town, with it's beautiful gold paving, and its adobe hut and shop around every corner, was becoming a ghost town before Riolu's eyes. It was funny, going to the square, the square where he went his whole life, with the possibility of never returning there. He wiped a tear from his eye. Riolu knew this was a life-or-death situation, and he had go to the Wartortle Guild for protection, or he won't even be alive to see the square again. Autumna Square was one of the towns that used the Underground Train System of the Four Continents. Since the Wartortle Guild was in Elm Valley, he could be there via train in less than half an hour, instead of the four day hike. He could not afford to be on the mountains alone at night.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Riolu walked down the staircase to the dark underground cavern, where the long, shiny metal trains left and came every five minutes. He was very lucky. The train to Elm Valley came right away, as in as soon as he walked in. Usually, it took Riolu half an hour just to wait for his train to arrive. He got on, and took a seat in the very rear cart of the train. After about three minutes, the last passenger got on the train. It was a Buneary, and her family, consisting of her, a Machoke, and a mean, drunk-looking Lopunny, But the Buneary accompanying this family was no ordinary Buneary. This Buneary had a big, puffy coat of pink fur, unusual enough for it's species, but it also glowed brightly.[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Odd.", Riolu thought. "I've never seen a Pokemon like that before." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]The Buneary seemed upset with it's family. A few seconds later, a conversation broke out explaining exactly why.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I told you, you little brat! You are going to this guild, so you can spare this perfect family the shame of your disgusting, pink fur!" Said the Lopunny, which was apparently the Pokemon's mother, judging by her voice and appearence. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Mom! We're a family! You can't just tell me off like that!" Buneary cried. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"We're not family! You're a freak! You're a shame to the natural ways of the Buneary Family! Don't you dare, EVER, call yourself one of our family!", exclaimed the Lopunny at the poor pre-adolescent Pokemon. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Grr! Well, I'm glad you're not my family! If you're ever face-to-face with that stupid murderer, don't call on my team for help!" Said Buneary angrily, as she ran away from the Lopunny, her hands covering her teary eyes, towards the rear of the train.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]The Lopunny that were on the train realized the train was about to board, so they walked off the train with a "good riddance" look on their face. Buneary walked up to Riolu, who was sitting in his seat, reading today's issue of "The Pokemon Times". [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"E-excuse me. Every other spot is full. You mind if I sit here?", asked Buneary. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Not at all", Riolu said. Buneary smiled, and plopped down on the seat beside him. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I'm Riolu", said Riolu in a calm, friendly tone. "Buneary", said the small pink rabbit Pokemon. They extended out their hands, and shook. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"So, where are you headed?", asked Riolu. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I'm heading to Wartortle Guild. It was always my dream to join or start a Rescue Team, plus the area around here has been dangerous lately, so I got out." Lied Buneary. She had a bit different of a reason for leaving, but she wasn't in a position to tell a stranger, it was too complicated.[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Hey! Me too!", said Riolu, surprised. He paused for a second, trying to think of something to say, so the conversation could carry on without that award silence. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"If you don't mind me asking, why do you have the-" [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Pink fur? It's a rare gene of mine. The experts call it "Shining Phenomenon". It makes my fur glow a different color from the other Buneary. I think it's kind of cool, but my family thinks a bit differently. They sent me to Boarding School as soon as I hatched, and then when I got back, they mistreated me, and sent me on my own." Buneary was actually beginning to trust this Riolu character. For some reason, she felt a bit of a connection to him, almost like she could talk to him comfortably and casually, like to a close friend. Riolu felt the same. It was a feeling the two have never felt before, but they sort of liked it.[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]That's cool! So you're a shiny, then! That's awesome! I heard that a Riolu's coat was gold when it's shiny." Said Riolu. After the train departed, the two talked on. They became very close to each other, telling each other everything. After a while, they became good friends. But the moment they were sharing became interrupted. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Hey, why is the train slowing down?" Buneary asked? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I don't know", Riolu said, feeling sort of helpless. Suddenly, the lights on the train flickered off, and a horrible, metal screech was heard. Without hesitation, the two scooted across the large crowd of passengers, and eventually made it to the front cart, where the conductor stood, looking nervous. "Excuse me, sir? What's going on?" Riolu asked. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"W-we just stopped. No power, no contact. We're stuck.", the conductor said panicking.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif] "Something is happening."[/FONT]

 

[.Missingno]

man this is going to be awesome we want more!!!!!!

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Chapter 3:[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Well, what will we do then?" Riolu asked, now as if he was demanding answers. "It's dangerous down here." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I-k-know what to do." Said the conductor. The three walked outside, toward the first cart. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Attention, everyone, there is an outside force somewhere that stopped the train. As of now, we need someone to go out and explore the tunnel. Any volunteers?" All the Pokemon slowly moved down, afraid of the dark tunnels outside. Riolu perked up. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Hey, I can do it. I used to work in a mine, and work on trains. I could just find the problem, and fix the train, easily." Riolu said. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"I'll come, too", Buneary said. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Well, then you'll need these flash lights.", the conductor said, beginning to gain confidence. He handed them the small lighting devices, and they headed out.[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]It sure is dark in here. You OK?", said Riolu to Buneary. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Y-yeah. I'm fine. J-j-just a bit...scared." [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Well, don't worry, I'm here to protect you. I won't let anything happen to you." Riolu began to understand the awkwardness of what he just said. He noticed Buneary felt more reassured by the words, but why did he feel the obligation to say this? It almost seemed to him that he...felt something for her. He couldn't understand this feeling, but she was very important to him for some reason. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]"Well, that makes me feel better to hear." Said Buneary, beginning to perk up.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Suddenly, there was a movement from somewhere. It was a large, bulky figure. Only its shadowy silhouette could be seen in the darkness, and it moved too fast to track with the flash light. "W-what was that, Riolu?", asked Buneary, becoming scared again. "It's nothing, I hope." They walked on. "It's so dark, I can't even see where I'm go-" Suddenly, Buneary fell from a ledge, which turned out to be a giant pit in the ground. It was so dark, it was impossible to distinguish how deep it was, but there was no taking chances. Riolu came and extended his hand out to her. "Take my hand!" She gave him her dangling hand, and he pulled with all his might. She moved up, slowly, until she was in reach, then he grabbed her body and pulled her to safety.[/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Thanks. Y-you saved my life!", panted Buneary, still breathing hard and trembling. "How can I ever repay you?" Riolu stopped walking for a second, and turned around, smiling. "Watch your step." She nodded, and they went on. After the long walk, they reached the front of the train. "Here it is, now if I could just open the front" Buneary was trembling again, looking behind Riolu. He looked up, confused. "What is it, Buneary? Is something wrong?" "B-behind you!" He turned around, and there stood a huge Electivire, standing over six feet tall, looking angry. Buneary and Riolu were so scared, they couldn't scream. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]The angry Pokemon stood for a second, and then went into its rage. "This Electivire must have been the Pokemon that stopped the train!", exclaimed Riolu. "Well, we'd better fight, if we want to get back to tell the tale!", cried Buneary. "Brick Break!", yelled Riolu as he chopped the beast with it's powerful hand. Electivire appeared to take no damage, but just get angry. "It's no use! Our attacks won't work on it! We'll just have to try and figure some other way to beat it!", cried Riolu. "RWOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAARRR!!!", cried the beast, as he blasted an electric blow straight at Riolu. Buneary immediately jumped in front of him, shielding him from the attack. She went flying backwards.[/FONT]

 

[Pikalover10]

Oooooohhh we want more...Oh yeah and poor Buneary.:(

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

Thanks for the comment! Also, here's Chapter 4:


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Buneary!" Riolu ran to her aid. He put on hand behind her back, and used his other to lift her head slowly. "Speak to me!" There was no response for a while, but her fur started emitting electricity. Riolu dropped her on the ground, shocked (no pun intended). Her eyes opened. "I guess my fur was useful after all! Take that, mom!" She got up, her fur still static. However, Electivire began running swiftly towards her, grabbing her in both hands. She squirmed trying to escape, but then realized he wasn't trying to attack, yet anyway. The electricity from her fur began flowing into Electivire's body, discharging her. [/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]It's using it's Motor Drive Ability!", cried Riolu. "What?!", screamed Buneary, still in Electivire's hands. "When it absorbs electricity, it becomes faster, and it's using the electricity trapped in your fur to do just that!" Buneary kicked Electivire, not hard enough to cause damage, but hard enough to stun it into dropping her. She landed gracefully, and ran back next to Riolu. Now, Electivire's attacks were faster. They had to pay closer attention to dodge every move. Suddenly Buneary had an idea. "I got it! We can use his speed to his disadvantage!" "How will we do that?", asked Riolu. "Follow me!" [/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]The two started running, with the fast-moving beast trailing them. The two stopped at the pit Buneary fell into earlier, and turned around. "On the count of three.", said Buneary. The beast was coming fast. "One". If this failed, they would both go down with it. "Two" Riolu stood its ground, trembling. [/FONT]


"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Three!" They stood out of the way, and the Electivire fell down into the abyss, and was never seen from again. "We did it!" Riolu screamed as he gave Buneary a high-five. The two walked back to the train, and Riolu fixed the problem. It turned out Electivire was draining electricity from the engine through the wires, so he just plugged the wires back together, and everything worked perfectly again. They got back on the train, feeling proud of themselves. "I saw the whole thing! That was amazing!", cried the conductor. "Now we can finish our journey to Elm Valley!" "How long would that be?", asked Riolu. "Well, with the main tunnel shut down, we'll have to take the long way. That's about four hours, I'd say the rest of the night. So you two can get some sleep, then." Riolu yawned. "Okay, I'd like that".[/FONT]

--------------------​

"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]I guess it's time to go to sleep, eh Buneary?" "Yeah. Except there's one problem." She pointed at the bed, which was a single bed... "That's okay, I'll sleep horizontally at the foot of the bed, you can sleep vertically at the top. "O-okay, I guess...Until tomorrow.", said Buneary, blushing. They went to sleep. Buneary had a strange dream that night. She was hanging from the edge of a cliff, but then Riolu came to her rescue, and bravely pulled her up. Then, he comforted her by wrapping his arms around her, and not letting go. She relaxed her body, and lowered her head to below his head, closing her eyes. She felt safe. Nothing bad can happen when she's with her friend, Riolu. And now, she knew what the feeling was. She loved Riolu. And Riolu, who was having romantic dreams about Buneary, as she is of him, loved her too.[/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Strangely enough, that morning, Buneary woke up that morning realizing her dream had come true, in the short, four hours of sleep she got. He had moved over to the top with her, so they were sleeping in each other's arms that whole night, Riolu's head in her soft, cozy fur. She smiled, blushing red in the cheeks. Part of her wanted to get up, before he finds out what happened. The other part of her wanted them to be on a cloud in the sky, like this together, holding each other in each other's arms. And she wanted this to be the same way for the rest of eternity. She closed her eyes, wrapped her arms tighter around him, and relaxed again, savoring the moment, but it didn't last long.[/FONT]​

"[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Attention all passengers: We have arrived in Elm Valley."[/FONT]​

 

[.Missingno]

man you have inspired me i am going to start my own