[RESULTS!] The Trivialized Pokémon Encyclopedia

[Who's Kiyo?]

♦ Winners of the Participation Emblem ♦

Spoiler:

*bulbagarden.net image removed*

Scratch

The Hand-Eye Coordination Mutant

I heard of eye of newt before but not eye of hands. I went to the beach last week to pick up seashells, right? I was getting incredibly tired, like, I was literally CRAWLING. I walked over to this big rock, yeah? And I rested my arm on it for only about... five hours! Suddenly I fell over. At first I thought I was getting dizzy because I was hearing things earlier when collecting the sea shells. But nah, this was much worse. A rock literally got up and stared at me right in the face. I said "BOO!" but I don't think it appreciated it as I ended up with multiple scratch wounds. THE PAIN. IT KILLED ME OK. But I'm alive! And with only 99% scratch wounds! I'd have called the lifeguard but he's got a wife so he won't be much use to me... unless...

Oh you want to hear about this mutant? OK FINE. Anyway... where's waldo? He's right here and he's extremely deformed. FIVE HANDS. I REPEAT, FIVE HANDS WITH EYES INSIDE ALL OF THEM. That isn't even the worst of it... this creature actually has a FACE inside its main hand. Seriously what the hell? This has to be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen, and I've seen my husband after not shaving for a week. It is truly a sight nobody should see. Oh and that mutant is pretty bad too. The mutant has got SPFFingernails to protect its face from sun damage from what I can see. I thought there was originally a human inside, because hey, it was Halloween last week, but while attempting to pull off its costume the mutant scratched me YET AGAIN. The worst thing was that I wasn't even itchy! Seriously, the nerve of that thing. It has this rock formation on it, which I believe if removed, would show that its arms are connected to each other. But I ain't touching that thing again. I believe it kills its prey just by staring at it, because it is truly that ugly.

I call it Scratch because that's pretty much the only thing it's good at. I think that's its favourite thing because I can't imagine it would enjoy living. Then again if I stay with my husband much longer I don't think I would either... nevertheless! It lives at the beach, I believe, but I have a feeling it would also enjoy spending time at Domestic Disputes (the nearby markets, they contain lots of sharpening tools).

Judging by how it walks (awkwardly, of course) I don't think its capable of much other than scratching and that's ok, someone's gotta volunteer as the back scratcher. In terms of typing, I do believe it is Hand/Rock-typed. It looks as if it has the Ancient Power of being useless, so that's always good... actually it's more bad than good so yeah good luck with that dude. It seems to get angry often, which makes sense because wow its life is so depressing, or maybe it just gets that way around me. I dunno why anyone would wanna be angry around me, I'm not annoying am I? AM I? Um. But yes! I don't think this creature could get any worse, so I think it is stuck looking like that forever which is fine as long as it stays away from me. Good luck with its life I guess, sorry it exists, but hey at least it has legs.

Oh no... it's following me. I REALLY WISH IT DIDN'T HAVE LEGS. THIS IS THE END OF THE REPORT IT'S ABOUT TO ATTA--

Communication has ended.

♦ By Forever ♦​

Spoiler:

Blaziken

The Blaze Pokémon




Evolves from Combusken, evolves at level 36, a fire/fighting type. Blaziken was first discovered in Hoenn by Professor Birch. This Pokémon, when facing a tenacious opponent, flames spouts from its wrists, burning the foe. The stronger the foe, the more intensely this Pokémon wrist burn. It is said to be so strong that it can clear a 30-story building in a leap. Every year or so, its old feathers burn out, and new ones grow back in their place. It trains consistently. Many years ago, it is said that Blaziken also have a mega form. But is it true? Many people in history has claimed that they saw a Mega Blaziken, but no one knows for sure that they're saying the truth. Theoretically, Mega Blaziken still exist, we just need to find the stones.

Much research has led Pokémon scholars know much more about its characteristics. Like its move set. It never learns the move Flamethrower, naturally (by leveling up), so the only way for your Blaziken to have the move is to teach it Flamethrower's TM. One of the things we discovered about this Pokémon is its abilities. It has the ability Blaze and Speed Boost as its hidden ability. Blaziken is seen from many parts of the earth. Its height is 6'3 (1.91 m); its weight is 114.6 lbs. (52.0 kg).
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♦ By Percy ♦​

Spoiler:

Nephewmon

The Migraine Pokemon

There are few more things in this world more tiring than a nephew, of which many have experienced due to the high number of sisters in this mountain community, but this rugged creature takes the cake, eats it, and proceeds to happily bake several more. Studied since birth, Nephewmon has proven to be at the epicentre of a migraine epidemic in our limited world. We've yet to discover a method of sedating these migraines. The Nephewmon's constant workouts - from sunrise to daybreak - and temper tantrums (which have been considered side effects of some natural hormone supplement that has been yet discovered...) are almost unmanageable. It has started construction on several small buildings on the village's outskirts and they're already almost completed. It has a knack for creating loud noise at absurd hours of the day, and we've begun plotting ways of exterminating the creature. The Lt. Surge Military School has a lovely ring to it.

A small troup of brave researches attempted to apprehend a Nephewmon today in order to prepare it for send-off to the militarist institute, but all it did was Throw a Tantrum and Hurl Curses at us from its bedroom. We banged rather incessantly on the door, threatened not to bring it dinner, to "tell its father", but the Nephewmon wouldn't budge. It is proving to be more of an issue than previously thought. More updates once it's past its prepubescent stages.​

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♦ By LORD ANTE ♦​

♦ Placement of Bronze Emblem ♦

Spoiler:

Ewgetitoffme

The Deceiving Puddle






This creature's name quite literally defines its being - it is a low-levelled organism bent on ruining people's lives by spreading out on the ground and pretending to be a harmless puddle, until you walk on it and discover the truth... I can only fathom that this abomination is the result of black magic, being conjured by the king's assisting witch in order to spread disease upon our land and make our shoes smell kinda stinky. Its body seems to consist of nothing other than a putrid purple rotten goop, which I can only assume are the week-old leftovers of supper time in the kingdom gone awry. Thankfully their unmistakable scent acts as a great way to sense their presence before taking that final careless step forward into a week of bleaching your shoes, but as an extra precaution my partners and I are strongly encouraging everyone to soak their feet in lard before leaving the house as the foul mess of a being seems to have trouble penetrating the thick layer.

Yesterday we did succeed in isolating one of these disgusting beasts, but it appeared smaller and less aggressive than its regular counterparts. I can only assume this was the result of an over-fed kingdom with the king's gluttony at supper time leaving less scraps for the evil witch to perform her necromancy on. Perhaps if we tell the king he has been looking malnourished we can stop this evil once and for all. Upon dissection of the awful creature, I made a very interesting discovery as I sliced into the stinking sack of rotten flesh and then instantly passed out. I can only assume this was the result of the witch's evil spells protecting the beast and I consider myself lucky to have survived the encounter. Some have asked me if I hypothesise the existence of more forms of this creature and to this I answer: "I hope not."​

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♦ By Squirrel ♦​

♦ Placement of Silver Emblem ♦

Spoiler:

(Direct link in case the resized embedded one is too small to read)

♦ By Elite Overlord LeSabre™ ♦​

♦ Placement of Gold Emblem ♦

Spoiler:

*bulbagarden.net image removed*

Fulvis Ovumnus
The Decoy Predator Pokémon

The information regarding the Fulvis Ovumnus is based upon the detailed descriptions provided by Cpt. Ballyfoot, a renowned seaman and explorer who famously discovered several foreign lands and strange creatures. On the second of his journeys, detailed in his diary, The Diary of Captain Hieronymus Esteban Ballyfoot, he reports a strange creature, circular in appearance, "like the egg of a giant, pink like that of the tongue" which he describes as having a mild, placid appearance, a glossy hide, being easy to approach, though quick to flight upon hearing a loud ruckus or clamor. The captain muses that the creature has a generous, sensitive nature, owing to what he claims are several attempts by the creature to provide aid to him and his crew who were low on provisions and suffering from thirst and gangrene. As the captain is not a man of science he can be forgiven for not fully appreciating the danger he was in.

Without resorting to too much speculation it can be inferred that the creature was not providing aid, but in fact attempting to prey upon Cpt. Ballyfoot. This I deduce from several telltale observations noted by the captain. Firstly, the color of the beast. In nature creatures colored in shades of red are known to be violent, aggressive beasts as red is the color of blood. No doubt the hot climate and extensive sunlight causes a fading of the external coloration of animals from foreign lands, rendering the pink appearance noted by the captain. In addition, the color being described "like that of the tongue" points to a connection to the liver which is similarly colored in animals and which is primarily responsible for wild and aggressive behavior. Its lack of a natural camouflage color also indicates that it is unconcerned with hiding from predators so we must assume it has no other animal which preys upon it and that it is in fact the main predator of its environment.

Secondly, its placid appearance is, without question, a ploy used by this cunning animal to lure weaker animals, or in the case of Cpt. Ballyfoot men, into a trap. I would wager that five other members of the species, totaling six altogether lay in wait. Six being, of course, the number representing the influence of the planet Jupiter and the associations therein being quite apparent and unnecessary to mention! Many dangerous animals employ similar tactics and the captain is lucky to have escaped this chancy encounter.

Thirdly, the egg shape. Eggs are the production of lesser creatures, birds, fish, lizards, and several varieties of tree – all species known to be dangerous predators, or in the case of trees, poisonous upon ingestion. Tree bark, it should be noted, is an unwholesome and unhealthful substance and should be avoided at all costs.

It is unfortunate that no live specimens were captured during the voyage and that the carcasses which Cpt. Ballyfoot provided were stolen from this very university before I was able to do an in depth investigation of its anatomy. However, from various colleagues and reports I can say with authority that the creature possessed several large fangs comparable to that of the dreaded Quimquamulum, that it stalked its prey on four legs each adorned with long and poisonous claws, and, perhaps most interestingly, that its body served as host for several smaller creatures, parasites of some kind, which had burrowed into its hide and remained stuck there and showing only a whitish shell-like dome. Perhaps they gave the creature some kind of natural advantage in the form of armored plates, but alas that is a question which will have to wait for an answer.

♦ By Esper ♦​

Results are based on scores cast by each judge out of a scale of ten, added together to prevent bias. Regardless of winners, you've all made wonderful contributions to the ancient sciences and we all had a blast reading them! Trust me, it was difficult picking winners. Finalized scores will not be disclosed as to not discourage writers or incite argument. Feel free to use this thread to comment on the entries or help us make this event better if it appears next year!​

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[Lycanthropy]

I totally agree with what Kiyoshi said above. It was a lot of fun to read all entries and you made it pretty difficult to decide a winner, partially because of the completely different styles in which the entries were written.

 

[Squirrel]

Aw man I didn't realise we could make it longer than the sample or I would've included way more XD Oh well, well done to the winners :D

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

Second place, I'm pleased with that result :P

Congrats to everyone, all of the entries were very entertaining to read!

 

[antemortem]

i entered this solely with the intention of entertaining rofl