[Other Original] Satiation Kingdom

[Palamon]

Welcome to,

Satiation Kingdom.
An original story about ten food kingdoms and their daily lives, and all of them trying to reach the top of Satiation Kingdom. This is a tower defense warfare story, with some slice of life elements. And some other things. This is different from my other works, so you don't have to read those to enjoy this. But, anyway, I'm happy to present anthology one to you all today.

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Strawberry Kingdom: New Tomato Farmer

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"I am the Strawberry Shark Queen! Don't know me, you should! I

Am the queen and leader of Strawberry Kingdom! This is
My world, and you're living in it! Welcome

To Satiation Kingdom! A network of multiple groups of food kingdoms, cities, houses, cults, you name it! We
Here in Strawberry Kingdom are at the top of it all!
Everyone should fear me,

Since I'm a force to be reckoned with! Understand? At the
Top of Satiation Kingdom is me! And, I
Rule over this land with
A silent fist! Now, recently,
We have gotten word of the Tomato Kingdom collapsing. I guess they were starved!
But apparently someone is going around to
Every kingdom that
Remains here to sell off their children! Haha! What a bunch of
Rancid little demons! Selling off their children! That's the lowest of the low!
You know, the Tomato Kingdom was just so weak!

Some little small little farmer Kingdom,
Ha! Pathetic, pathetic and pitiful! Pathetic
And weak! A bunch of tiny little
Rotten fruits to the core! No wonder they lost! Uhoo hoo hoo. I
Keep hearing about all the kingdoms that get eradicated, and

Quite frankly, they all deserved to fall!
Uhoo hoo hoo,
Every single one of those sorry kingdoms won't
Ever be able to stand up to mine! And, it's
Not my fault that they lost ten battles in Kingdom Warfare!

They were starved, that's their fault,
Hahaha! Of course it's their fault,
I mean that loser of a kingdom couldn't do
Snuff! They dared to try and challenge Kingdoms that are clearly stronger than them, and

In the end, they paid the costly price of their demise!
Sucks to suck, hahaha! Hahaha!

Maybe if they knew how to fight they wouldn't have lost everything! Of course it's their fault going after stronger Kingdoms!
Yikes, don't want to take the heat, then participate in

Kingdom Warfare, it's that simple!
It's really that simple! But,
No, that dumb little kingdom
Got their tenth loss.
Don't bring your children to me! I have no use
Of weak little demons who
Might just weigh me down!

So, if anyone dares to say, 'please buy my son, my daughter into your kingdom, aaaah,' I'll decree on paper
That I don't want your
Rancid little losers in my kingdom! Why should I waste
Any of my beautiful time on these
Washed out little demons? Just
Bring yourself over to the Ackee Wastelands and just
End your pitiful little existences there! Just
Rot, rot, and rot some more! Tomatoes are
Rotten anyway! All of them are just nasty fruits, it'd not like
You'd put those putrid things on your salad! And such nonsense is not welcome in my

Kingdom! Why should
I allow for failure to enter my walls?
No way! They can
Go and sell their children somewhere else! I
Don't need help running my farm anyway, I have
One big solution to keeping it kept up:
My demon magic, of course!

Yes, that's right, I don't need some stupid farmer!
Of course, my kingdom does have a few
Ugly little people from fallen, or
Defected kingdoms! I mean, I guess I do have a denizen who used to

Belong to an apple kingdom, one from a cranberry kingdom, and
Err, a pepper kingdom, and
That pathetic Watermelon one
That all the good denizens defects from
Eternities ago! But I'm not here to take in
Rancid, smelly tomatoes!

Because why should I?
Of course I'm always looking to expand! But I
Will not welcome a failure into my

Doors! What do you take me for, hmm? Understand that I am the most successful kingdom in all
Of the Satiation Kingdom. And, I
Will always be at the top of the world here! I have
No need to the weak, pathetic and useless. If

The product is defective, I have no
Obligation to take in the rotten goods! They

Might as well just walk around with a big sign around their waists that reads, can you believe it?
Every single one of us here is a failure! Can you see how bad we ran our little farm? We're so pathetic, we're

Out here selling out our children! Go ahead and
Rent out your children to someone who cares! Because guess what? That demon won't

Ever be me! I'm going to destroy and conquer all the Kingdoms here and rise at the top of Satiation Kingdom!
Let's propose a toast to all the failures who lost everything! They should be feeling all the
Shame in the world right about now! Well,
Ehehe, who cares about all that? I have way more important matters to attend to! Tootles!"

The bright red achene sun was shining quite beautifully today down on Strawberry Kingdom. The bees were pollinating the flowers, like always. The world was moving to its own beat. But, in a certain palace at the heat of the world was about to have a tomato of a time today like no other. And, it was going to splatter the place.

Peep, peep, peep, peep.

The morning songbird was singing up a storm in a certain demon's window. Chirping the tune of awakening, a quiet murmur made itself known for absolutely no one to hear. Oh, wonderful, morning already? Who went and invented singing alarms? Whoever did should uninvent that innovation right here, right now.

A short, feminine appearing demon with purplish pink skin rose upward from the royal bed quarters. Long, bright purple hair fading into pink at the bottom, the demon's bangs matched the highlights almost exactly. Right eye and brow a rosy, sparkling bright pink, the left eye had been green, like a stem of a strawberry. Bright red fleece pajamas with a circular pattern in the middle showing a red strawberry with wings with text underneath reading, the queen, the ruler reached for a nail filer.

Bright, pink long cuticles with bright white dots on them, the sharp board did its duty. Can't rule the nation with dull looking nails, that's for sure. How could one spread fear to enemies like that? That wasn't possible. A queen is nothing without an easily accessible weapon at disposal! Board doing its duty, the royal individual strutted off to the private restroom.

Bright pink shark tail with wings and achenes across it as messy as the dead kingdom of Durin Emporium, the queen let out a little huff. Nothing a little apple oil can't fix. But why go all the way to the other room to get it? Perish the thought. Large, strawberry bells rung, the walls shook like a quake, fast feet came like lightning.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" a feminine voice asked, huffing. "What do you want?"

"Huh? What do you mean what does he want?" another voice asked. "You know when that bell rings, the queen wants his apple oil!" The other voice was huffing as well. "We've been serving the Strawberry Shark Queen for how long now and you forgot?"

"And, what if he wants something else, huh?" the feminine voice asked. The person then stepped towards the bathroom entrance. "Apple oil, right? Which one?"

Standing in the frame of the restroom had been a tall feminine demon with golden skin. She had bright long blonde hair that went down to about her chest with red highlights at the bottom and in the bangs. Penguin crests on her face, she had gold eyes. Half gold and red suit shirt with apples with wings on them, her pants matched her eyes almost exactly. Shimmering golden tail with circular bumps it with one singular apple stem at the end and wings, the queen almost wanted to fire this little elf. How dare the Penguin Elf Apple forget what the restroom bell being rung was for!

Next to her had been a short, feminine angelic demon with dark brown skin with jackal ears on the top of her head. Halo looking rather blinding today, she had sky blue hair that faded into yellow with pink and yellow bangs to match. Green eyes that looked like watermelons, she adorned a a low cut dress with the pattern of a watermelon on the bosom. Green portion on the torso split in half with the skin slightly visible, a symbol of a watermelon with an angel halo and wings had been printed on the right side. Striped skirt, she had a dragon tail with wings on it, as well. Leave it to Watermelon Jackal Angel to remember what she was here for!

Snapping his fingers, the royal placed his hands into a circular shape. Green apple soon appearing in that space, the ruler's dirty tail looked ready to drip. Harumph, disgusting. This is no way to rule this country, there was important things to get done today. Elf and angel running a bright granny smith apple bottle had been handed off to him. Shooing the crowd away, a little spritzing had soon took place.

Low cut spotted pink dress with a yellow skirt adorning a heart shaped strawberry symbol with wings on it soon on, the demon headed off towards the salon room. Short feminine demon with blonde hair and low dark red pigtails, pink lynx ears, her bright maroons eyes were practically sparking. Pink dress with ribbons in the middle, and cranberries grouped together in the center, she, too, had a maroon dragon shaped tail with wings. The Cranberry Lynx Devil, his right hand demon. She was in tip top shape as usual.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," the Cranberry Lynx Devil greeting and bowed. "How would you like your hair today?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Put my hair up into heart shaped bunned pigtails, chop, chop!| A written paper note said.

"Of course, at your command, my queen," the Cranberry Lynx Devil said. "Do you want me to apply sparkles on your strawberry bumps while we're at it?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You'd better.| A written paper note said.

"Right, of course." She placed a bottle of sparkles on the counter as she said such.

Hair soon pulled upward into short pigtails, the queen's facial berry spots were sparkly enough to blind a bluejay for life. He was the baddest, most beautiful queen on the block, as usual. He'd like to see all those pathetic other kingdoms in this entire world try and outdo him! As if that was ever going to happen! It hasn't yet in the near millennium of existence thus far! But who's counting?

Devil soon reaching for his hairpins and earrings, the ruler swatted her hand away. How dare this devil get her dirty little paws on his prized possessions! Scribbling, |do you like your job? If you do, don't touch my preciouses!| She bowed an apology. Heart shaped strawberry with wings hairpins and earrings set clicked in, he left the salon behind for the morning.

Heading off towards the dining room, a short, feminine demon with white bangs, and split colored red and green hair going down to about her shoulders, she had two buns that mirrored the locks. Double spiky red claws with flames in them, she had a green dress with peppers on them, she had a large pepper shaped tail with wings and flame pattern to match. Apron flopped over her, she bowed her morning greeting. Sweet, sweet, Red Pepper Demon, impeccable manners as always!

"Your Majesty, good morning, breakfast is almost ready," the Red Pepper Demon greeted. "You have an audience with some Diplomats from the Tomato Kingdom in an hour."

Reminder of duties coming his way, the royal let out a scoff. Ha, a Tomato Kingdom diplomat, hmm? Those weak and pathetic wimps who are on the verge of collapse? What did those losers want from him? Ah, right, of course, they're going around selling their weak and pitiful children to whoever will buy them! Ha! Fat chance he's taking one of those kingdomless people under his regime! Get a clue!

Seating himself in a large, bright pink chair, the crimson pepper dining table cloth had soon been laid down. Meaty dish plopped down on everyone's ends of the table, the queen munched away. Words about the Tomato Kingdom rushing through his head, the royal let out a barely audible laugh. Ha, ha, a bunch of weaklings were going to be in his presence today! They can bow down to him all they want, he's not accepting any pitiful wimpy demons here!

Reading over today's agenda as the meal had been pulled away, next to nothing of note laid down the foundation. Hmph, diplomat after diplomat. He should just go ditch his duties and go relax on the cherry beach! But, ah, no, that won't do! No, no, no, of course it won't. Can't go and looking incompetent, absolutely not.

Afternoon bells chiming, it was time for business. Strutting along towards the palace room, a large, pink floored area with a golden royal chair and sparkly green drapes with the same heart shape strawberry symbol let itself be known to the entire world around them. Seating himself on the chair cross legged, the Cranberry Lynx Devil soon looked at her watch.

"The Diplomats should be here by now," the Cranberry Lynx Devil said. "Shall I let them in?"

"I don't know, Cran, he looks like he wants nothing to do with them," Penguin Elf Apple said.

"Be honest, would you?" the Watermelon Jackal Angel said, sighing. "This kingdom is about to fall."

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

Handing a decree to the Cranberry Lynx Devil, the queen almost wanted to spit on the ground. As if he wanted anything to do with this failure kingdom! Why would he? But, what fun would it be to turn them away? He'd tell them to their faces that pitiful wimplings that should be sent to rot in the Ackee Wastelands!

"The queen decrees, 'Red Pepper Demon, let the pitiful wimplings in,' the Cranberry Lynx Devil decreed on his behalf.

"Right away, Your Majesty!" the Red Pepper Demon cried, dashing off.

Palace doors soon opening, a group of two disheveled short haired losers with bear ears strutted into the place looking ready to beg him for some strawbollars. He had heard it all before, oh, please, my kingdom is dying, I need to protect myself, could you please give us some cash? Look at these beggars! Bunch of losers! Ha, no wonder their kingdom is about to collapse to the ground!

Losers bowing their heads to him, the queen snapped his fingers. Ha, ha, pitiful weaklings. Bow harder and rot six feet under while they're at it. Pitiful diplomats raising their heads, a big black screened device had soon been turned on. Trying to hold back a few laughs, his cheeks were red. Oh, and look at that, they even were a technologically advanced kingdom, and they still lost it all! Meek.

"Fair day, Your Majesty, the Strawberry Shark Queen," the diplomat greeted. "We apologize for intruding, but we would like you to buy one of our surviving young adult demon youth. Your kingdom has some very nice farms they can attend to!" As they said such, they soon turned on the screened device. "Even just one would be very helpful!"

There it was.

The most pathetic line of them all.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Man, the Tomato Kingdom was pathetic.

Screen turned on, the queen let out a little barely audible, hmm? Did these plebeians think he's going to take in some pitifully weak young adult demons into his kingdom? And, not to mention, what kind of money did they have to be selling their young adult demons to him? They were a failing farming kingdom! He can could tend to his gardens himself better than they could anyway!

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'how dare you assume I want to buy your weak and pathetic children from you. Go sell them somewhere else,' the Cranberry Lynx Devil read out loud. But, heads had soon been bowed once again.

"Please, Your Majesty, we beg of you!" the diplomats begged. "If we don't do this, once our kingdom falls, we'll all be sent to rot in Ghost Pepper River! We don't want that for the youth!"

"Your Majesty, that place is like a total death for fruit demons like us!" Red Pepper Demon cried. "Please reconsider!"

"You sure about that?" Penguin Elf Apple asked.

"Positive!" Her pepper tailed almost caught on fire as she said such.

"My queen, I ask you to rethink this," the Watermelon Jackal said, sighing. "Have you tried the other kingdoms?"

"We have, and we're having trouble getting the youth into safe spaces!" the diplomat cried. "Please, Your Majesty, please Strawberry Shark Queen! Please, at least consider buying one of our youths from us! We'll pay you everything we've got! And, you don't even have to pay them to work on your farm! You can make them work for free!" Heads bowed again, the device in their pocket started to shake. "We just want a bright future for the under a millennium group! Please, you must understand! You're a young ruler!"

Pathetic begs and pleads only getting worse, the queen almost wanted to make these pitiful little diplomats kiss his feet. Look at these losers, using his status as a youthful under a millennium queen status to try and convince him to buy their pathetic weaklings! How maddening. But, fine, he'll humor them. Making his fingers into a square shake, a picture of the device appeared before him, curling his fingers, the meek little disheveled morons brought the device to him.

Folder of denizens opened up, multiple pathetic little weaklings graced his vision. Dumb polar bear eared cherry tomato demon that looked like they could roll up into a ball and die, the ruler scoffed at such. Nope, next. Even weaker, more pitiful ones coming up next he tried to not crack the screen with his cuticles. Ha, no wonder no one wanted these people, they were as pitiful and pathetic as weak had gone! But, there had been but one profile that stood out to him.

Spotting a panda profile that listed had a deep understanding of magic and battles, along with a mastery at farming with double the efficiency of his peers, the royal put on a sharp toothed smirk. Finally, someone useful. Selling price set at more than he could ever need, he returned the device to the pitiful weaklings.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'I'll buy the panda from you," the Cranberry Lynx Devil said on his behalf. She then turned towards the queen. "Is that the only one you're buying?"

Nodding, his denizens soon gazed at one another. What, were they not satisfied with his purchase? They could talk to the hand if they didn't! But, the royal kept such thoughts to himself. Diplomats thanking him, he had soon been informed he will be coming to the kingdom in three days time. Meek, pitiful royals leaving his presence, the doors slammed shut.

"There's some other concerns you have to attend to, today, Your Majesty," the Watermelon Jackal Angel said. "The schools are lacking funding, and they would like you to visit them."

"And, the Strawberry Parade might be in trouble due to increasing tensions with the Sweet and Sour Kingdom," Penguin Elf Apple added. "We're going to have a busy rest of our afternoon, it looks like."

"We'll take out that stupid Sweet and Sour Kingdom!" Red Pepper Demon cried. "Mark my words!"

Attending to all the boring nitty and gritty, all the queen could think about is that pitiful panda he had purchased. It was so pathetic that no one wanted him. He'd better be grateful he offered his hand to purchase him! Ha. He bet that little blurb about them knowing how to at double the efficiency was a stunt to get him bought easier. Continuing his duties for the day, such inklings didn't leave his mind.

->

Three days later.

Waking up early, the bright red sun bled through the queen's window. Today was the day that pitifully weak panda was going to be added to the Strawberry Kingdom a denizen. Not like he'd ever see more than his back after this! He'll work this pitiful little demon down to the ground on his farm, ha! Freshening up, he had soon seated himself upon the throne chair.

Trmp, trmp, trmp.

Walking through the doors had been a short, scrawny masculine panda demon with short silver hair and bright green bangs. Long green braid draping over his shoulder, his pink eyes were dull and as pitiful as they were. Have some life in the eyes, tomato cow! Adorning bright red overalls with a white shirt underneath, he could see a tomato with wings on it. Green tomato with wings on the pants legs, he could see a green tail with circles on it, and the tiniest of pinions. Ah, he sees, he's a fruit demon, too. He'll put him to good use.

"Fair morrow, Your Majesty," the pitiful panda said, bowing his head. He had a surprisingly high voice for a man. "I am Panda Tomato Farmer, and starting today, I will be working for you. Pleasure to meet you!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You'd better work hard, or I'll send you straight to the Ackee Wastelands!| the paper said. But, the little pathetic panda shook as he read such.

"Please, don't send me there, I'll work hard, I promise!" the Panda Tomato Farmer cried, shaking. "And, I'm good at battling, too, I promise, I won't disappoint you!"

"Don't want to burst your bubble, but," the Penguin Elf Apple started to say, shaking her head. "But, only the queen's parliament gets to fight in Kingdom Warfare." But, a wave of confusion had soon come through.

"Sorry, I'm a little confused," the Panda Tomato Farmer responded. " Why did you just call him the queen? Shouldn't you have said king? Isn't Your Majesty a man?"

Hearing the m word, the queen was seeing red. This little weakling, how dare they utter the three letter m word. Who told this runt that? Scrunching up their filthy little collar, he lifted the munchkin upward. Fling, pitiful creature flung against the wall, they shook like a leaf. Ah, maybe he'll send them to the Ackee Wastelands now. That sounds good.

"Don't you dare call the Strawberry Shark Queen a man," the Cranberry Lynx devil shouted in a booming echo.

"Who told you that, hmm?" the Red Pepper Demon asked. "Who said that to you?" Her voice was boiling as she said such. "You don't know the rules around here, do you? Never call our Queen a man. Understand?"

"But the diplomats told me--" Slam.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|I don't care who told you. I am not a man, understand? Did your little worms look up my birth records? I'll have you sent to Ackee Wastelands right now for that!| the paper screeched. As he ripped it up, he slammed the pitiful panda against the wall harder.

"I'm sorry, I saw nothing!" the Panda Tomato Farmer cried. "Please, can we start over? Please to meet you, Strawberry Shark Queen! Starting today, I'll be working on your farms! Happy to be here!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Make yourself useful and tend to the farmlands right away, this instant!| the paper decreed.

"Of course, I'll get right to it!"

Trmp, trmp, trmp.

Pathetic little demon running out tail tucked between his legs, the queen almost wanted to laugh. Who did this little pitiful fiend think they were saying that word? Like he was one to talk. Ha, whatever, he'll punish this fiend to work fifty hours for that little slip up! His treat! Snapping his fingers, the Watermelon Jackal Angel soon flocked over.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Watermelon Jackal Angel asked.

|Go check to see if our canons are in tip top shape.| the paper decreed.

"Of course right aw--."


Broop, broop, broop.

Alert, alert, Strawberry Kingdom is under attack. Sweet and Sour Kingdom has issued a Kingdom Warfare Challenge.

"Your Majesty!" Cranberry Lynx Devil cried. "Sweet and Sour Kingdom has just issued a challenge! We have to hurry!"

Pedaling to the medal, the ruler reached for his sword. Ah, how dare this little dying kingdom attack his. He'll show them what a really powerful kingdom looks like! Denizens dashing onto the battlefield, he could soon see the panda try to add himself to the mix. Swatting him with his tail, he soon rolled up into a ball as the defense bastion was about to be reached.

Time to take out some wimps.

***

"So weak, and pitiful! Honestly,
Who does the Sweet and Sour Kingdom think they are attacking my kingdom, hmm? Do they
Even know who I am? I'm the Strawberry Shark Queen!
Everyone should know
That my kingdom is the most powerful of them

All! Well, looks like I'm going to be eliminating some weaklings
Now! This battle will be over in like ten minutes! I'll just
Douse some pepper gasoline and

Shoooooooo, dead!
Ohoho, dead as a ghost
Upon the Hills of
Red Radishes! All these weaklings who dare challenge my

Kingdom are underestimating me!
I know these little
Nitty bitty fiends come and
Go to try and attack thinking I'm about to reach my tenth loss and this land is collapsing! But that's just a lie we tell to trick people into underestimating us! They'll soon see we're
Definitely the strongest
Ones in all of Satiation Kingdom! We'll destroy all their towers and reach the top of the
Meal Fortress after we drain their vitality all to zero!

Ha! The conditions of winning Kingdom Warfare?
My, well, one: destroying at least ten of twenty towers, or defeating the enemy squad within a certain numbers of turns and of course, getting to the top floor of
Meal Fortress! Which, no one who has ever challenged me

Has ever gotten to the top of my Meal Fortress!
And they always get starved!

Well, that's how it'll go this time, too!
Haha! That's what
All these people get for daring to challenge me! I'm a Fruit Shark Demon, and
That Kingdom is a bunch of pathetic little dragons and other pitiful bunches!

Ah, I'm so excited to

Be able to crush them with the palm of my hands!
Uhoo hoo ho,
No one who has ever
Challenged me has ever beaten me! I am unstoppable!
Hmm, in fact, while rare, some challengers have died

On my kingdom grounds
For daring to challenge me

With a halfhearted resolve!
Ehehe, will these pathetic weaklings
All die today, too? They're on their ninth loss! You
Know what happens when you reach your tenth! I mean,
Look! Their kingdom
Is about to collapse, don't you see?
Now, if the Sweet and Sour Kingdom
Goes and asks, 'please let me
Sell my denizens to you, we're dying!'

I'm not taking a kingdom that attacked mine and
Lost to tell the tale!
Listen, they were pathetic to try and further their death

Knell of the collapse of their kingdom,
I'll happily oblige!
Let's get busy, and
Let's destroy

This kingdom for daring to challenge us,
Ha! They're going down,
Every single one of them!
My time has come to break some bones, and lay down the law!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Battle sirens blaring a group of six demons came rolling in on war tanks. Forty towers on the battlefield and big fork shaped fortress in the corner lowering its doors, the queen studied his opponents for the day, and he couldn't help but laugh and guffaw at the group off in the corner who dared to challenge him.

Jumping out of the first tank had been a short, dark skinned dragon woman with a skinny, hourglass figure. Split pink and black hair going down to her pencil thin waist, she adorned braids on both sides. Spicy curry hairpin, her purple dress adorned a print of curry with panther ears on it. This wimpy Spicy Curry Dragon dared to challenge him? She's gonna snap it two very soon!

Coming out of the second tank had been a plant demon with short, split brown and yellow hair pulled into a side ponytail that flowed across the wind. Pitch black lifeless eyes, their vines were everywhere. Even more pathetic button down dress with jalapeno burgers with arrows says borger next to them, he almost wanted to shoot them down already. What an unserious little demon they got here! This Jalapeno Burger Plant is about to get roasted.

In the third tank had been a short badger girl with short, orange hair, and dyed purple bangs. Small black ponytail on the side, her white face almost looked too furry. White dress with a ton of plums on it, he cracked his knuckles. Sour Plum Badger, hmm? More like Sour Bum Bader. But, no one was going to hear that joke, nope.

Floating onto the battlefield next had been a green skinned kraken with curly red hair that faded to brown as it reached the shoulders. Pitch black belly shirt with a chili dog on it, she had a cloth skirt that almost barely covered her. He almost laughed seeing this. Ha, this Chili Dog Kraken was already half dead anyway! He'll put her out of her misery!

Coming out together had been a short panda dragon man with short blue hair that barely reached past his chin, and a short panda dragon woman with short red hair and light brown pigtails. Man adorning yogurt hands, his wings had those stupid little boxes of their own. Open blue shirt, the female dragon had buffalo wings instead of hands. Red and pink dress with baked chicken on it, he almost wanted to launch an attack early. Ah, he sees, he sees, Sour Yogurt Dragon, Buffalo Wings Hydra.

Bunch of losers.

"Strawberry Shark Queen, your rule over Satiation Kingdom ends here!" Spicy Curry Dragon shouted.

"We challenge you," Sour Yogurt Dragon started.

"To a Kingdom Warfare Battle!" Buffalo Wings Hydra finished.

"We'll be gunning down your entire towers," Jalapeno Burger plant started.

"Just you wait!" Sour Plum Badger finished.

"So, come at thee!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "It's time to battle!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start

Objective: Eliminate the opposing team's twenty towers and reach the top of the Meal Fortress. (Zero of twenty)
Or: Defeat all opponents and reach the top of the Meal Fortress. (Zero of six.)

Battle sirens tooting, the ruler readied for a swift, but quick victory. Ah, who did these people think they were messing with, hmm? Have they forgotten who he was? The Strawberry Shark Queen! The top of Satiation Kingdom for the past hundred years. Think they can beat him, hmm? But, as he thought such, a pitiful demon ran onto the battlefield.

"Wait, Your Majesty, please, allow me to join you in warfare!" the Panda Tomato Farmer cried. "I'm strong, I can--!"

"I thought I told you only the parliament can engage in Kingdom Warfare," Penguin Elf Apple reminded him. "Could you scram?"

"What do you mean? Red Pepper Demon is here, and she's not in this so called parliament," The Panda Tomato Farmer bit back. "Please let me--." Slam.

"Listen, kid, you're new here, so it seems you don't know the rules, do you?" Red Pepper Demon asked in a low tone. "Know your place, mmk?"

"Please, you have to let me fight! They're stronger than they look!" The Panda shook as he said such.

"Your Majesty, please consider adding the Panda Tomato Farmer to your arsenal," the Watermelon Jackal said.

"Maybe they'll prove useful?" the Cranberry Lynx devil asked.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Just this once,| the paper said.

"Thank you, Your Majesty!" the Panda Tomato Farmer exclaimed.

Trmp, trmp, trmp.

Bam.

Two towers taken out by the enemy, the demon concentrated all his energy. Ah, these stupid morons, thinking they can attack during a strategy discussion. It was time for an early reminder of what kind of queen he was! It was time for a little poisonous strawberry magic. Three, two one.

Tail glowing behind him, a deluge of toxic, magical strawberries pelted upon the enemies and a few of their towers. Sword coming for the stupid curry dragon, they immediately looked weak. Or, did they, who knows? Dashing towards the meal fortress, his turn soon ended. Cranberry stepping up to the plate, her bright red rod soon dished it out to multiple towers, in an instant.

"Just because you attacked me with your little poison strawberry magic doesn't mean you'll win!" the Spicy Curry Dragon shouted. "Take this, curry beam!"

Crunch.

Two further towers taking a small dent, the royal was ready to rumble. Hmph, amateur, think that's enough to break his towers? Think again! Red Pepper Demon taking a deep breath, fiery pepper breath soon burned the stupid yogurt dragon a new one. Screeching, a ball of energy tried to shake the tables.

"Whoops! I took one of your towers, my bad!" the Sour Yogurt Dragon cried.

"Oh, did you now?" Penguin Elf Apple exclaimed. "You won't like what I'm about to do, then!" As she said such, she hopped into a tank. Boom, boom, buboom. "We're even now, wouldn't you say?!"

Towers Decimated: ten.
Floors of the Meal Fortress climbed: zero.

Half of the towers decimated, the ruler cracked his knuckles. It was time to climb this baby! Watermelon jackal angel floating upward, zippity zaps flowed through her with all her might. Seeds of electricity plopped down, multiple towers had been damaged aplenty. Everyone stunned, the royal had begun running. He'd show them how quickly he could get to the top.

But, as he had begun the ascension towards the top, he could soon hear half of his towers get crushed, in an instant. Stupid curry dragon flocking into the Meal Fortress, he was ready to spit on the ground she tried to walk on. Hiding some strength was she? It was time to snap that little pencil in half!

"Looks like I'm not so weak after all, hmm?" the Spicy Curry Dragon asked in a mocking tone. "Your kingdom is going down!"

Sword out, blades clashed against one another. Dumb little reptile able to outstand a slice or ten, he let out a laugh. Little strong, was she? Well, he was stronger, and he'd get to the top before she could even breathe! Swiping away with all his might, he was ready to finish this pathetic draconic loser any second now.

Boom, boom, boom.

"Tomato explosion!" the panda's pitiful voice cried out.

Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

Large tomato bomb swallowing the right side up in no time, the royal almost dropped his sword. Excuse him, what, what was that just now? Curry dragon looking away, their back was for the taking. Slice, sharp edges piercing through their little hourglass back, brown blood decorated the fortress stairs. Continuing his ascent, he could hear shouts on the outside.

"That panda he just destroyed almost all of our towers!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried.

"We only have one left!" Chili Dog Kraken cried.


"What do we do?!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "Why did you want to attack this kingdom, Curry?! Curry? Curry, speak to me!" Slice.

Sword sliced through the badger before he could even blink, the queen giggled. Ah, these pathetic losers had the galls to challenge him? Look how weak they all were! So pitiful! Dashing up the stairs, he could hear one final attempt at a comeback raising up from the sky. Bam, cram, bam bam.

"I'll finish this!" Jalapeno Burger Plant shouted. "Jalapeno Hammer Smash!"

Crunch.

Hammer popping down a loud one, two towers had been knocked back, in an instant. Ha, think that's enough to get the rest of them, hmm? They had only eliminated eight of theirs, they only had one left! Hearing another tomato bomb soon come, he could hear their enemies cradle back and forth upon the ground.

"Our last tower is about to be toast!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "We have to--!"

Boom!

"--Defeat it."

"Sorry, looks like we've defeated you!" Penguin Elf Apple cried.

Other enemies almost taken out of the picture, the demon kept on running. Top of the Meal Fortress soon reached, the queen tagged the flagpole. Strawberry flag waving in the air with a ferocious manner, he dashed down the stairs. Stupid curry dragon grabbed, they had soon been on the tower's ledge.

Yoink.

Splat.

Boom.

Final tower about to sing its swan song as a large tomato explosive blew the joint, the ruler let out a guttural laugh. Here comes the sweet, sweet, victory. But, as he was about to celebrate, he could feel a chill from behind his back. Icy shouts coming his way, a warning had soon come as everyone else but the curry dragon laid in defeat.

"Strawberry Shark Queen, I'll get my revenge on your kingdom for killing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" the Spicy Curry Dragon echoed.

Crunch.

Starved.

Defeated challengers accepted defeat, cleanup had soon been in action. Dump, splash. Little hourglass disposed of, the demon gazed at the pitiful meek panda. Those bombs of his sure came in handy. Maybe he would be a worthful asset to his team after all. He could use him on his defense team, maybe. Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You know what, panda, you're useful. Welcome to my bastion.| the paper said.

"Huh, really? Thank you, Your Majesty!" the Panda Tomato Farmer cried, bowing. "I'll do my best to help you win all your battles going forward!"

Returning to the palace, the queen returned to his private quarters. Firing up the good old magical picture box, those dumb old magic shows played on reruns. Filing his cuticles, he let out a little scoff. This new farmer of his, he wasn't so weak after all. Perhaps, he could help him destroy more rivaling kingdoms! Kicking back, the guffaws continued until sleeping hour.

Things are about to get more interesting around here.

---

This Siorc sure is different, hmm? Next up, Pitaya Land. :) I'm so excited to write more.

 

[Palamon]

Pitaya Land: Lavacakecano Eruption Fastly Approaching

---

"I am Lord Dragon Fruit, the ruler of Pitaya Land!

Ah, never heard of me, of course you haven't, after all,
Most of my enemies are dead! Okay, not all, but most of

Them are dead, and I'm the one who made sure that's how it all went down!
Haha, I'm a dragon, and I am the ruler of a hotland with a volcano always ready to
Erupt. It's a lava cake volcano, or Lavacakecano as we call it!

Oh, oh? That's scary, huh? Well, around here in Satiation Kingdom, it's a hard knock life! My kingdom is mostly that of fantasy foods! Dragon fruit? Fairly floss, you
Name it. Everything in my kingdom is only mythical creature foods.
Everyone in my arsenal? Angels, devils, you name it, we got it. How does that

Correlate to a volcanic hotland? Who knows, but listen, I, Lord Dragon Fruit
Am at the top of this game!
Look, most people are terrified to attack my kingdom!
Let me just go ahead and
Explain why! Remember what, I the
Dragon Lord said! My

Land is a hotland and people are scared
Of Lavacakecano. Despite that! We're very low on
Resources right now and my stronghold and I plan to go to the savanna and stock up on
Dragon Fruit! Now, in my kingdom, we use

Dragon Fruit as bombs and other weapons. Hmm, yes, our land
Revolves around the Pitaya, is that a surprise? Well, it shouldn't be
A surprise! This is how our kingdom operates. Sure, we're not the strongest, don't
Get me wrong, we have
Our own set of weaknesses, but it's
Not like we aren't able to overcome them! Lookie, look, listen here, okay? Listen up and listen well, sure we're not the strongest, but we're the most

Feared! As we should be, since we're
Rather close to a volcano, we instill fear
Upon all our enemies. Which
Is why our kingdom doesn't seem to be dragged into kingdom warfare all
That often! But whenever we are able to,

Things go as planned. We have to capture three flags, but
Have to do so before the volcano
Erupts, or everyone loses! That is the way of my land! Those are the

Rules of this world! All main ten warring kingdoms and the lesser kingdoms, their towers are all different. All of it is far from the same.
Uhuhu, what good would it be if they were all the same? That'd
Literally be so boring, now wouldn't it?
Every single kingdom operates differently. They're
Ruled differently. Some of us? Allies.

Others? Not so much. But, it also kind of
Flip-flops. We could be buddy buddy one day,

Plotting to wipe out the other kingdom next.
It's not a catch twenty two here!
That's how it goes. But, in the long run that's how it
Always goes around here!
You never know how things might turn out. One day, it's
All fun and games! Another, we're

Literally killing one another, that's how it
All goes in Satiation Kingdom! There's
Never a dull moment around here. There's never a
Dull moment, and

That's how it should be. We
Hardly ever are in a state of nothing,
Even though it might seem like that in Pitaya Land, it's one

Big nothing, but I assure you,
It ain't like that, so don't
Get your legs tied in knots! This

Volcanic hotland is always bustling with activity
Our people are always adventuring.
Look, this land is full of places to explore,
Can you blame people for going on a super long
Adventure? Didn't think so! So, it's like I said, there's
Never a dull moment aren't here
In Pitaya Land. And unlike that Strawberry Kingdom, we allow anyone here as long as it doesn't
Clash with our image. I don't want Kumquats in my

Land, look, I have built up
A reputation of being the dragon Kingdom, I am
Not welcoming of the
Dull and boring. Ah, well, whatever, my envoys and I are going to the Savanna today, and we

Intend to get more tools to make weapons of. There's
Not a lot of time since our volcano is going

To blow soon! It's on the tipping point of going, boom.
Heh, very close now. And unless you aren't from here, dying to these
Eruptions is less likely, but

We'll still have to rebuild, so it's not all sunshine and rainbows!
Eh, as it stands things are pretty good right now,
So, we'll have plenty of time to stock up on
The necessities. I mean, it's not like any stupid Kingdoms plan to attack us today! Right, right?"

The golden ashen sky covered the sun with scales on it for the entire nation of Pitaya Land in the west of Satiation Kingdom. The lava cake volcano was burping, the citizens were rumbling through the tropical rainforests; the serene adventure of the world had been rather intoxicating. But, not all was smoke and reflections in the in the hotlands.

Kablam, bloop, bliperoo.

A rather tall draconic feminine appearing individual let out a loud roar out into the open in the Den of Devils whilst sifting through multiple cabinets. Their short split dyed blonde and red violet bangs looked as though they were close to catching on fire. Red pigtails with pink highlights tied up to the high left and right sides of their head, their bright blush hued eyes also looked like they were going to blow. Rosy suit with a pitaya on the bottom adorning thorns in the corner, they had shimmering green dragon wings to match their scaly emerald tail. Maroon dragon claws with a sense of sharpness in them, their talons scratched the wood.

Cabinet devoid of any mystical pitaya and other knickknacks, the dragon grumbled. When did they run out of stock of everything? How could this be? When did this happen? Had someone been stealing their stock? Had people decided to raid the Den of Devils without an appointment with their envoys? The nerve! Whoever did that was going to pay the price dearly! And dearly, they would. Cupping their claws around their face they sounded the alarms.

Ree roo ree roo ree roo.

"Angel Foodcake Guardian, come here right now!" the dragon shouted.

Hearing the flap of wings, the dragon kept on doing more digging. Upper cabinets empty as well, they hissed. Nothing in here, nothing in there, nothing anywhere. Who dared mess with their pitaya stock? Those were kept stored for a reason! Who thought they could mess with them the leader and ruler of Pitaya Land?

Flapping upward in the air had been a short man with angel halo above his head. Pure white wings behind him, he too, had a bright pink suit. Two angel food cakes with wings on them on the sides of the outfit right above the pockets, he had short blonde hair that faded into a dark orange high ponytail. Orange eyes as well, he had strange flame shaped eyebrows on his face for some reason. Long, spiky tail shades matching his tied up locks almost exactly, a sigh had come the dragon's way.

"What is it, My Lordship?" Angel Foodcake Guardian asked. "Lord Dragon Fruit, it is imperative you halt these outbursts immediately. There's adventurers in the public lobby!"

"Shut your stupid mouth! This may be a public den for anyone to use," Lord Dragon Fruit screeched at the top of their lungs. "But, that doesn't mean people can come into my private quarters without an appointment to take our storage of pitaya bombs and other lines of defense."

"You never listen when anyone is talking, do you?" Angel Foodcake Guardian asked, hand plastered over his temple. "You didn't hear a word Devilled Egg Drude said earlier at all. Drude said the volcano is erupting in three days, so we've decided to allow our citizens to take our weapons stock to protect themselves."

Hearing such, Lord Dragon Fruit was seeing red. Excuse them, who said Drude could do that? Drude is supposed to ask permission to carry out orders like that! Excellent, the lavacakecano is going to erupt in three days. Just seventy two hours from this moment that was breathed into motion. And what did Drude do? Give away the entire stock of weapons! They bet all their delegates were in on this, too. Who did they think they all were? They're Lord Dragon Fruit, the ruler of this land. Who gave their team the authority to decide the rules around here, hmm?

"Devilled Egg Drude, Fairy Floss Pixie and Devil's Foodcake Rat!" Lord Dragon Fruit demanded. "Get in here now!"

Flapping their wings with a ferocity had been an individual with no discernable masculine or feminine traits to speak of. Adorning jungle green bangs that had been partially red on the right and left side, there had been devil horns on the top of the head. Very short crimson ponytail a near permanent grimace nearly devoured the small scarlet eyes. Sparkly red devil wings with multiple veins popping out, the devil's suit had been a bloody cherry with devilled egg symbols above the pockets. Small tail behind the back, a perpetual look of fear painted the face.

Also flying in had been a short pixie woman with hair that had been one-thirds pink, one-thirds blue, and one-thirds yellow like colorful cotton candy on a summer afternoon at a carnival. Triple hued eyes the same color as her locks, she had cerise panda ears on the top of her head. Bright pink skin almost glowing, she had a fluffy suit shirt with colorful fairy floss symbols also above the pockets. Glimmering azure pixie wings behind her, she had a heart shaped tail seen rubbing against her skirt.

Dashing in the room out of breath had been a short rat lady the Dragon Lord could practically step on. Light brown hair becoming a darker splash of chestnut, her locks were almost thick enough to be chocolate. Devil horns on the top of her head almost ready to slice her ponytail apart, she had a sandy suit with slices of cake printed onto them. Small tail behind her, a look of nervousness decorated her face aplenty.

"Yes, My Lordship?" Devilled Egg Drude asked. "What's wrong, what did I do?!"

"You know what you did!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "Who said you could give away our weapon stock like that?"

"Oh, My Lordship, but we couldn't just turn everyone away!" Fairy Floss Pixie cried. As she said such, her heart tail behind her glowed obnoxiously. "Everyone's scared of lavacakecano!"

"And?" Lord Dragon Fruit asked, tapping their webbed feet on the ground.

"And, we couldn't just leave them unarmed, you know!" Fairy Floss Pixie retaliated. "They're saying this eruption might be a big one!"

"You have to ask my permission to give away my secret stock of pitayas!" Lord Dragon Fruit shouted. "Now, we have nothing to protect ourselves from an invasion! You know what happens when the lavacakecano is close to erupting, we tend to get ambushed by another kingdom! Like last time, remember when that pitiful Angel Foodcake World tried attacking us? They lost, and here we are today merged into Pitaya Land!"

"And that mattaws becawse?" Devil's Foodcake Rat asked.

"It matters because, if we don't have any weapons, we'll lose the next imminent Kingdom Warfare battle!" Lord Dragon Fruit turned away as they said such.

"Oh, wight," Devil's Foodcake Rat said. But, had soon been cut off.

"How many times do I have to tell you to slow down when you talk?" Angel Foodcake Guardian said to Devil's Foodcake Rat, groaning. He then turned towards his lordship. "What does it matter everyone took your bombs? No one has attacked us in a long time."

Lord Dragon Fruit could feel their rage begin to simmer at the lack of care festering between their top delegates. Uh, hello? Were they all not seeing the problem here? First off, the volcano is going to erupt in three days. No one has attacked them in a long time, smo none has nattacked them in a long time. There's been rising tension in recent times, which they failed to notice. They weren't listening when people talked to them? The kettle was being called black with this one, like hi there! Can these angels, devils and fairies be any less disengaged with the real issue here?

"Sowwy," Devil's Foodcake Rat started to say, but she soon cleared her throat. "I mean, sorry. "But, is there really a problem? We can just get mowe, I mean, more, can't we?"

"You're missing the point here!" Lord Dragon Fruit shouted. "The place where pitayas are closest right now is the savanna. That's a long trek!"

"Okay, so?" Fairy Floss Pixie asked. "All of us, except Devil's Foodcake Rat can fly anyway!"

Defiance coming their way, the Dragon Lord wanted to wring every single one of their delegates necks out. Were none of them listening to a word they said just now? If they were to head to the savanna now it would take two days to get through all of it. Forty eight whole hours! It was peak devilled egg demon season! There wouldn't be enough time to withstand the eruption by then! By the lord which was them, they swore their envoys were messing with them like it was their job.

"Queen of missing the point still, I see!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "It's devilled egg demon season in the savanna right now. Is your cotton candy brain working right?" They stamped their feet as they continued. "It'll take two days to get through there! Those demons aren't exactly easy to vanquish!"

"My Lordship, I can freeze time for a small window of time!" Devilled Egg Drude shouted. "Have you forgotten?"

Reminder coming their way, Lord Dragon Fruit cracked their knuckles. Ah, right, this fiend of theirs was the leader of the Devilled Egg demons, but did that matter? They thought not! What if the lavacakecano were to erupt faster from freezing time, hmm? What then? They swore their delegates were as stupid as a rock sometimes. No, two rocks? Three? No, a whole dozen of rocks!

Turning their back towards everyone, they let out a loud resounding hmph. Bunch of wishy washy good doers always letting down the doormat to get stepped on by all the adventurers in the nation. This is why none of them ran this joint! They were the lord of the land here, everyone should do as they say!

"I haven't forgotten, but you all have seemed to have forgotten the rules around here!" Lord Dragon Fruit shouted. "You don't go around giving our arsenal to everyone who asks!"

"But, Your Lordship, everyone has been scared of the impending threats of invasion!" Fairy Floss Pixie cried. "We haven't seen something so unprecedented in a really long time! Didn't you hear what happened in Strawberry Kingdom recently?"

Annoying pixie diverting attention off towards an unrelated kingdom, they rolled their eyes. Who cares about Strawberry Kingdom right now? They were a dull little place that got to the top of the ladder with barely any effort at all. Who cares if they got attacked? They sure don't. Someday, they'll strike their warzone and take their crown as number one anyway!

"Does it look like I care what happened there?" Lord Dragon Fruit said in a haughty tone.

"My Lordship, I know you don't care for Strawberry Kingdom, but if they can get attacked by a lesser kingdom, we can, too," Angel Foodcake Guardian reminded them. "Get your head out of the sand."

"Angew, I mean Angel, they don't stand a chance against our bastion anyway, whoeva they are," Devil's Foodcake Rat added, slipping on her words. "They gotta capture our flags, they're not gonna be able to do that fast!"

"Are you dumb?" Devilled Egg Drude asked, finger inside the left ear. "It's Sweet And Sour Kingdom that attacked. They're seeking revenge on all the top ten kingdoms as of late. We're next!"

Hearing such, the intense rage was ready to erupt inside Lord Dragon Fruit's head. Revenge, huh? Revenge for what? Being one of the top ten? What a bunch of sore losers, they already had accumulated ten losses. They were already on the verge of falling apart! Did they think going after other kingdoms would do them any good here? They thought not!

Crossing their arms across their waist, they washed their hands of this entire thing. As if those wimplings would be able to do anything to their kingdom. They'll be blown up straight away to Pizzaville and have their bones eaten up by the cult! They're wasting their time trying to get on the offensive. Lord they were, who cares? They all needed to stock up on supplies. They're not about to let some dumb pathetic creatures steal a win from them.

"All of you, return to my chamber in three hours with satchels full of supplies suitable for the trek to the savanna!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried.

"Um, forgive me, My Lordship, but shouldn't we go right now?" Fairy Floss Pixie asked in defiance. "The more time we take to get there, the closer we'll get to the volcanic eruption!"

"If you don't all do as I say and follow my orders, the only one here that's going to erupt is me!" Lord Dragon Fruit screeched. "Get out, and pack up, or someone's going to get it." Boom.

Delegates running out, Lord Dragon Fruit flew upwards in their private chamber in a circled flurry. Who did these guys think they were giving away their resources to everyone who asked? Oh, waah, waah, I'm scared of the eruption, boo hoo, they don't feel safe without a pitaya bomb. Howdy doody, they don't care! Who said their envoys could take their entire weapon stock and give it away like it was charity? They didn't, that's who! Those four had gotten way too comfortable under their tutelage.

Trmp trmp trmp trmp, they stomped on the ground like a tremor for hours to come.

->

Three Hours Later.

Eruption within quelled, Lord Dragon Fruit had quickly been snapped back to their senses like eating bitter mint on a cold day in the desert. Maybe they had lost their cool a little too deeply there today. Or, maybe they hadn't lost their cool enough, who knows? They sure didn't know. Door to their private chambers clicking open, the storm broke loose.

Trmp, trmp, trmp.

Envoys flocking in with multiple bags of equipment, Lord Dragon Fruit let out a haughty laugh. Their delegates weren't just defiant yip yappers after all! They were starting to have major doubts about them. But, that was neither here nor there. They all had a savanna to travel to and pitayas to gather, and fast!

"That time freezing spell better be ready to go, Drude!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "We don't have time to waste here! The volcano is erupting in three days!"

"I know, I know!" Devilled Egg Drude cried. "Do you have to keep saying it?"

"Clearly, I do since you're looking in the opposite direction!" There was a bitter tone in Lord Dragon Fruit's voice.

"My Lordship, forgiwe me for askin, I mean forgive me for asking, but," Devil's Foodcake Rat said in a near whisper of fear. "But, should we reawwy, I mean, really be leaving now? I heard the lavacakecano rumble after we left!"

"You know what they say, Rachy," Fairy Floss Pixie said to Devil's Foodcake Rat. "Lord Dragon Fruit's temper is like a volcanic eruption!"

"Ya gotta point thewe I guess." Devil's Foodcake Rat recoiled as she said such.

"The more you all go and yap, the less time we'll have to go to the savanna!" Angel Foodcake Guardian cried. "Chop chop!" he turned his palm and slapped it over his left hand as he said such.

Rushed screeches coming their way, the eruption within grew deeper. At this rate, they would all have to take the zipline to get there faster! These annoying little fiends, they always tried to do their own thing. Maybe they needed to hire new envoys and get rid of these who dared challenge them! Ah, whatever. Time was a wastin'.

"Since you're all so busy challenging me, we'll just take the zipline on the roof to get there!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. But such had been met with opposition.

"The zipline?!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried. "Why we gotta use that ting?" But, she stopped herself for a moment "I mean, thing? I thought you said the thread cut short!"

"I just said that so people don't use it without asking me!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "It works every time!"

"The zipline?!" Devilled Egg Drude cried. "Kill me now while I'm still alive! Fast moving junk like that is bad for my soul!"

"Heights are scary!" Fairy Floss Pixie cried.

"For lord's sake, you fly all the time, shut up," Angel Foodcake Guardian cried. "Don't use that 'I'm scared of heights' excuse."

"Okay, okay, fine!" Fairy Floss Pixie groaned. "We'll take the zipline. I can't believe you lied all this time about it being broken!"

Climbing up onto the roof, the harnesses were set. Pulling the harness, everyone slid down the cable like a breeze on a hill. Multiple adventurers groaning they thought the zipline is broken. No fair, they never got to ride that thing, did their lordship lie to them? Many voices had soon been drowned out as the savanna had begun to draw ever so closer.

Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble.

Volcanic Eruption Imminent.

"It wumbled again!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried as she sped down the zipline. "I think the ewuption is closer than we first thought!"

Rumble, rumble, rumble, rumble.

Alert, alert, volcanic eruption countdown:

T-Minus Ten Hours, Forty Minutes.

Alert blaring as the team of five had been around the half-way point from the Den of Devils and the savanna, Lord Dragon Fruit was about ready to crack open a new can of worms. When had the threat of the lavacakecano sped up so swiftly? Someone had made the lavacakecano angry, hadn't they? Rumor had it that thing had a brain in there! But who knows if that were actually true? Not they!

"We have to hurry!" Fairy Floss Pixie shouted. "The eruption is hastening! I bet, before long, it'll blow!"

"I'm sure it's a false alarm," Angel Foodcake Guardian said in an assuring tone. "It's happened before."

"No, it hasn't, what are you talking about?!" Devilled Egg Drude cried. "That alert system never gives false alarms!"

No further rumbles, mud slapped around in Lord Dragon Fruit's cranium. If the lavacakecano were going to erupt early, there was nothing they could do. Great, wonderful, amazing, they had no defenses at all. The only thing that could be done from here was to freeze time to stave it off! By the lord they were, this was so annoying.

Boom, boom, boom.

"Oh, my lord, the chocolate saucers are coming!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried. "We gotta huwwy!"

"Drude, hurry up already and freeze time for awhile!" Angel Foodcake Guardian shouted.

"You expect me to be able to do that while we're on the zipline?!" Devilled Egg Drude shouted.

"Yes, I do expect it that, actually!" There was a sense of urgency in his voice.

"For the love of! Fine!" Devilled Egg Drude screeched. "Devilled Egg Clock Freeze!"

Tick, tick, drop.

Everything except the zipline and themselves frozen around them, Lord Dragon Fruit hurried the harness. That little spell would only hold up for about two hours. There was hardly any time left! By the lord they were, they had to get a stock of pitayas fast or everything would be sure to go kerplooey! And whose fault was that? Everyone else's but theirs!

Ashy skied savanna waiting for them, an annoying devilled egg shaped obstacle awaited them all. Hmph, dumb little small fries thinking they run the world? Nope, goodbye, time to get smushed between the palm of their hands! Placing their hands out in front of them, they blasted the stupid dairy creatures into nothingness.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Alert, alert, volcanic eruption countdown:

T-Minus Five hours, twelve minutes.

"Uh, Drude?! I thought you froze time!" Devil's Foodcake Rat asked in a frantic tone.

"I did! It must not be working!" Devilled Egg Drude cried.

"Hurry up and freeze it again!" Lord Dragon Fruit shouted.

"Alright, alright, sheesh!" Devilled Egg Drude shouted. "Devilled Egg Clock Freeze!" The Drude huffed. "You make me all want to die sometimes! I hope you know that!"

"You do that to yourself!" Everyone echoed at the same time.

Time frozen once again, further small fries were diminished. Stupid dairy devils plopped out of the picture, the savanna sweltered. Ah, great, look at the time, this clock freezing spell wasn't doing its job at all! Of course it wasn't. They should have never wasted their time relying on Drude! Their mistake! They needed to be put in magic rehab as soon as possible!

Rubbing their webbed feet on the ground, Lord Dragon Fruit bolted. Any second now and there would another sign of eruption, they had to hurry up and collect pitayas now. Right now, right this instant. Maybe every single one of them underestimated the imminent lavacakecano's eruption. What were the meteorologists doing? Were they lying and making the threat sound further away than it really was?

Envoys begging them to slow down, they sped up. Nope, who had time to slow down. Uh, hello? Was there an elephant in the room here that needed addressing? First off, the eruption was coming faster by the second. They hardly had the time to slow down! They had to get through two days worth of travelling in less than two hours! Get with the program.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Foreign adversary detected.

"You can't be sewious!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried. "We're under attack?"

"Just ignore it!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried.

"Just ignore it?!" Fairy Floss Pixie. "But, what if it's the Sweet and Sour Kingdom?!"

"More of a reason to ignore it!" They dashed away further as they said such.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Foreign adversary detected.

Foreign adversary approaching the shores beside the lavacakecano.

Warnings blaring, Lord Dragon Fruit kept tuning such out. Oh, wonderful, not only an imminent eruption, but an attack on their kingdom warfare battlegrounds? Oh, how amazing! Wonderful. Hadn't they told Drude to freeze time? They were useless. Their spell was a waste of time! Why did they ever invite them to join them as a delegate?

"Drude, I told you to freeze time!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "Either try harder to freeze it, or you're the one who's throwing the pitaya into the lavacakecano this time!"

"By the lords, fine!" Devilled Egg Drude shouted. "All time around me, stop at my command!"

Everything coming to a standstill, the lord skidded off towards the bushes. Pocketing as many pitayas as they could, they did a teeny tiny bit of magic. Bombs were aready. Ready and waiting to knock out these sorry stupid invaders who dared to waltz in here during these trying times! Many distributed to everyone else, another rumble soon reared its ugly head.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Alert, alert, Sweet and Sour Kingdom has attacked the bastion.

"They're hewe already?!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried. "Drude, I thought you fixed your broken time spell!"

"Whatever, so it ends earlier than I thought it does, so shoot me!" Devilled Egg Drude cried. "Actually, please do, put me out of my misery!"

"Your spell sped up time rather than stopped it, didn't it?" Fairy Floss Pixie asked, sighing. "Oh, dearie, dear, dear, we're in trouble now!"

"Could you all just shut up?" Angel Foodcake Guardian cried. "We have to fly off to the bastion now!"

Everyone flapping away, Lord Dragon Fruit could feel the rage within them ready to erupt ever so closer. Ah, of course, how could they forget how incompetent Drude was? They never could do anything right, could they? By the lord they were, this was all their fault! But, what else was new, everything was Drude's fault! They were the only ones to blame here! Bastion closer than ever, they cracked their claws.

Time to sweeten up these sour losers.

***

"I can't believe the Sweet and Sour Kingdom

Dared to attack our bastion! How dare they!
I haven't faced a treat to my nation since the Angel Foodcake World attacked some time ago. That was the last serious threat in ages.
Don't get me wrong, others have tried since then, but were wiped out by lavacakecano before they stood a chance! Listen, listen, I am the top here, and

No one ever beats me.
Of course, most people don't ever dare
To attack my kingdom since there's always a threat of volcanic

Eruption, but surprisingly, that's when attacks are most concentrated. Some demons have just had too much
Xylitol, like come on!
Pretty bold of these stupid morons to attack during a speeding
Eruption that could come at any time! Oh, well, that doesn't matter
Cause, since the eruption is starting
To approach far more rapidly,

All of us are going to lose
Now! I'd like to thank the Sweet

And Sour Kingdom for putting us all in jeopardy!
Thank you so much, Sweet and Sour Kingdom for putting us
Through this imminent peril! You're
A champ! If it wasn't obvious by now, that was
Complete sarcasm! Don't
Know sarcasm? Well, either get used to it, or get wrecked!

For now, we have to focus on capturing the flags before the
Record breaking fasted eruption ever takes
Over. I'll give the eruption,
Maybe say, three turns.

And we're all defeated.
Now, the only ones we have to blame here are
Our fellow invaders! I bet
They had their stupid ghost
Have their revenge on us and played with the lavacakecano in order to get it to
Erupt faster! And to that, I say?
Razzen frezzen froozen frooka. You're putting our

Kingdom in jeopardy!
I can't believe this stupid invaders! I
Never know what do in the heat of an invasion since time
Goes by where there aren't any at all! If that stupid
Drude's time freezing spell actually worked,
Our nation wouldn't be in jeopardy right now!
Maybe we'd all be fine! By

The lord I am, this wouldn't have happened if my envoys didn't give away all
Of my supplies! This is all their fault! I
Don't take responsibility for
Any of this since it wasn't my idea!
Yes, it was my delegates fault!

Oh, by the lord that's me, they'd better
Have a written apology for me if we don't

Get defeated by the eruption! Or, I'll have them completely
Removed from my
Envoy! Since this is pretty much
All their fault! We're not prepared because of
Them! They
Shouldn't have gone and given away all our supplies!

I'm going to erupt! I'm sure they've toppled
More than half of our towers now!

Ugh, I know who to blame
Now for everything that's happened in the past few hours! Everything was
Peachy until this moment! And, I
Regard my envoys with
Every single hostility in the book!
Please, be real with me right now! By the lord that is me, I
Am going to blow! I'll take it out on that tiny little
Rat if we don't win this!
Everything can be attributed to my
Dumb little delegates giving everything away! The nerve! This is their fault!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Battle horns tooting up a storm and ground rumbling, two dragons, a badger, a kraken and stupid plant had already crushed six of their towers. Seeing such, Lord Dragon Fruit launched a pulse attack upon one of their own kind. Who allowed these annoying fiends attack early? They were breaking the rules of kingdom warfare, like hello? They'd pay dearly for breaking the rules.

"One-sided attacks are forbidden in Kingdom Warfare!" Fairy Floss Pixie cried. "What are you doing?"

"We're getting revenge!" a scary voice in the corner cried. "Revenge for my death!"

"As a result of the Strawberry Kingdom killing Spicy Curry Dragon, we're going to take back our spot in the top ten of Satiation Kingdom!" Sour Yogurt Dragon cried. "First, by attacking this stupid adventure kingdom!"

"We learned a little trick to this place!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "If the volcano erupts, no one wins! And ties get rid of losses across the board!"

"Who established that rule?!" Devilled Egg Drude asked in a frantic tone. "That's made up!"

"The Kingdom Warfare society, duh!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "Why, never heard of it?"

"Should have known, you're probably the lowest amongst the ten!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried, chicken wings on them flaunted around frivolously.

"Should we be saying that?" Sour Plum Badger asked. "They might be--." But, she had been cut off.

Stupid weaklings underestimating their kingdom, Lord Dragon Fruit snapped their talons together. Who did these people think they were underestimating their power? They'll show them what real power looked like! If they thought for one second they were in the bottom ten, they had another thing coming. What a funny joke they just told!

"The bottom ten, you say?" Lord Dragon Fruit asked in a sinister tone. "You're about to eat your words!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Objective: Capture Three Flags Before the Lavacakecano Erupts. Turns left until eruption: ten.

Objective: Drop a Pitaya into the Lavacakecano. Pitayas dropped: zero of two.
Optional objectives: destroy all towers.

Optional objectives: Defeat all enemies.

Sirens blaring, Lord Dragon Fruit studied the bastion around them. Six towers already knocked out, time was ticking. Ten turns would go by a blitz. They had to focus on dropping the pitayas into the lavacakecano and defeating the enemies. Leave the flags to their envoys. Flapping upward, they let out a shout.

"Everyone, you focus on capturing the flags!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried.

"My Lordship, are you sure?" Fairy Floss Pixie asked. "They have a ghost on their team! And, you know what happens when there's ghost on a Kingdom Warfare Bastion!"

"Either do as I say, or shut up!" Lord Dragon Fruit screeched.

Boom, boom, crunch.

Chocolate raining down as two further towers were crunched by the opposing forces, Lord Dragon Fruit let the fire within them simmer. Ah, these cheaters had already been hard at work trying to get an advantage. Well, they'd show them, it was time for the comeback of the century. No, the comeback of the millennium.

"Blast of Firing Rage!" Lord Dragon Fruit screeched.

Intense burning pitayas dropping down on the enemies, a load of screams had decorated the ground triplefold. Pathetic yogurt dragon burned, they flapped upwards towards the lavacakecano. Quickly, quickly, they had to make haste before it was too late! Time was running out, before long, it would go boom!

"Spiky Sponge cake Trumpet!" Angel's Foodcake Declared.

Large sponge cake caving the enemies in, multiple towers had been decimated in one fell swoop. Enemies barking up the wrong tree, the volcano had begun to rumble as the timer sped up. Envoys soon running out of movement speed, the siren soon sounded itself once more as if it were a warning bell calling out to everyone.


Severe violation found: opposing team attacking a bastion with no challengers present. Penalty issued to the entire warzone: turns cut down.
Turns until volcanic eruption: five

Total flags captured: zero.

Total towers destroyed: ten out of twenty: Sweet and Sour Kingdom.

Twelve out of Twenty: Pitaya Land.

"Aww, yeah, that's what we were waiting for, a penalty!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "Now, we're sure to win this entire thing!"

Sweet and Sour Kingdom revealing their reasons for starting early to everyone, Lord Dragon Fruit snapped their claws. Oh, they see! So, that's how it's going to be. They deserved to be burned into the ground and then tossed into Pizzaville to have their bones devoured by the cult. In fact, they'll do it as soon as possible!

"Fairy Floss Pixie, Devilled Egg Drude, Devil's Foodcake Rat!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "Hurry up and do a link attack!"

"Aight, you're da boss, boss!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried. "You two, howd my hands!"

Clap, clap, clap.

"Sprinkles river!" the trio shouted.

Noxious sprinkles of salt stunning the enemies, the trio dashed off towards the unoccupied flags, in an instant. Every single one captured as the enemies decried foul play, Lord Dragon Fruit flapped upward. Foul play, hmm? Look who is talking here! They attacked early. Stupid rule breaking will not be stood for!

Second link attack bestowed upon the enemy, the lavacakecano shook. Rapidly flapping upward, the pitayas had become one with the molten chocolate lava. Heated bed of liquid sizzling, they tossed in the next one, defeat swiftly coming for the party of five galore, it was soon over for these stupid invaders.

Starved.

"You cheated!" Sour Yogurt Dragon cried. "You're a cheat!"

"Oh, I'm a cheater, am I?" Lord Dragon Fruit asked. As they said such, they laughed. "Tell that to the chocolate lava that's about to make your yogurt expire!"

Snap.

Glug, glug, glug.

"I'll get my revenge on this kingdom, Lord Dragon Fruit!" Sour Yogurt Dragon screeched.

Feeling a chill behind their back as the stupid yogurt dragon's body became nothing but dust, the defeated enemies besides him soon retreated. Ah, revenge they say? How very interesting. Did they think they were in any state for that? They just lost another member of their team just now! Comical. What a funny bunch they were. Sore losers.

Returning to their private quarters in the Den of Devils, Lord Dragon Fruit sat cross legged on the top of their desk as they had the door slammed from behind them. Stupid Drude bowing the head, they were ready to rip a head off. This incompetent little devil couldn't do anything right! It was time to give them a warning!

"You'd better learn to control your time freezing powers!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "Next time, I won't let you off gently, understand!"

"Just kill me and put me out of my misery!" Devilled Egg Drude cried.

"That would be too easy, now wouldn't it?" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "I won't be killing you. Now, hurry up, and give me my Pitaya Boy Plus!"

"Everything would be easier if I were dead!" Devilled Egg Drude shouted as they ran off.

Portable gaming device seated in the palm of their hands, a stupid creature collecting fruit adventure game blasted in their eardrums. Tip tappying away, they let out a sinister laugh. They were victorious once again in a rare Kindom Warfare Battle. Take that, Sweet and Sour Kingdom. Smash buttons to and fro, they played until they couldn't keep their eyes open anymore.

Every day was an adventure.

---

Next week is Cheese World, and I have no idea where that one might go for me. Also, if anyone wants pictures of what these versions of my characters look like, ask in the comments, and I'll leave a message on your profile.

 

[Palamon]

Cheese World: Empire of Amusement Parks

---

"Greetings, cheesed to meet you. You have
Reached Cheese World, you are in the biggest cheese related Empire in Satiation Kingdom. I am Blue Cheese
Empress, the ruler of this big
Empire, and I'll be your guide
Today on all of the amusement parks
In our land. We pride ourselves in having amusement and entertainment. It's pretty much
Never a dull moment here. Whenever I'm done with my duties for the day, I like to
Go have some fun.
Since I pretty much run everything here,

I get free access to

All of the attractions, but lately things have been
Mighty disappointing lately, the largest amusement park,

Blue Cheese Festives was demolished a
Long time ago. I'm a cheese demon and I adore amusement, I feel rather
Unhappy with the
End of this particular one. But we've been

Caught up in a lot of Kingdom Warfare lately and our main park
Had to be stuttered years ago because it had kind of been
Err, how do I say this?
Err, originally it had been our basis of operation.
Since then, we've changed
Everything, and our Kingdom Warfare is now started by a river race.

Everything else that follows,
Mmm, maybe it's just better I explain, our Warfare Bastion is in a carnival, if you will. And you have to
Play games that's how the towers go down.
Rrr, listen I'm not the best at
Explaining how my empire works,
So, forgive me. It is pretty weird, though,
So attacking the towers and

Army is allowed, but that's
Not really how we
Do things around here.

Yes, we do allow for violence, but
Our preferred method of warfare is carnival festivities.
Unless people demand we

Have a battle, we usually prefer to just have fun.
After all, we're at the top for our
Very unorthodox approach to
Everything. Most people

Rarely understand our rules and they end up losing. I know, it's a carnival, how hard could it be? It's pretty
Easy, right? But, that's where you'd be wrong. I have my right hand man, Gouda Ram Lord swap out
All the games after every kingdom warfare, so they're never the same and never will be. I can
Confirm I have lost many times to pretty much
Having no idea what awaits me. Also, I should mention this, too.
Every single time, the flag changes places. It's never at the same
Destination. Why would it be? That'd be too easy!

My empire is always evolving and always changing.
Yes, that's what makes

Everything so fun here, you
Might never get the same experience twice.
Probably not, anyway. Sometimes, my team
Is really slow, especially Cheesy Macaroni Fox. She's
Rather slower than the rest of my
Empire. I know empresses are supposed to run a

Country alone, but I
Hardly care about the rules.
Eh, and why should I? This is the fun
Empire, it's not like Pitaya Land where
So much hinges on the volcano not
Erupting. Ah, come to think of it? That

Went boom recently, didn't it?
Oh, it did, shouldn't
Run your kingdom in a hot
Land hinged on survival
Due to a volcano that's constantly

Erupting. Unlike Lord Dragon Fruit's situation, we are
Not in danger like them. They should
Just move their capital
Over to somewhere else,
You know, go invade other kingdoms?

Yeah, that'll show the world how things go.
Oh, but I'm not encouraging them, or anything! Of course not!
Uh, you didn't hear that from me. Please
Regard what I just said as

Spur of the moment stupidity.
That's all it was, so don't say
Anything about it, understand? I have pretty much nothing to say to the other kingdoms, except Sweet and Sour Kingdom, the likes of
You aren't welcome here. I heard you all attacked a kingdom without the actual army being present.

I can't believe this severe violation of the rules.
For what it's worth, though, I plan to crush them if they dare try to invade.

Yes, they don't know what's going to come for them if they dare invade
Our empire. They won't be alive to talk about it.
Uhuhu, so, Sweet And Sour Kingdom, come one,

Come all, to the world of amusement! You're not actually welcome here, but of course, feel free to step into
All of our traps and lose upon entry! Absolutely
No one gets away with breaking kingdom warfare rules around here. Understand? You won't get away with this. So, come at thee. We're ready."

The fluffy white clouds rolled in as the cheddar sun dimmed a little in the skies above the empire of Cheese World in the dead center of Satiation Kingdom. The golden macaroni was raining, the denizens were frolicking to the various amusement parks. It was yet another gouda morning in the empire of brie. But, underneath all that happiness, one particular royal was not quite cheddar.

A tall female demon with dark skin and bright purple eyes let out a yawn as she could hear her roller coaster alarm screamed into her jackal ears. Lifting up from her bed, her blue bangs with bits of yellow and black bits of mold blew over her eyes. Waist length locks as messy as ever, her triangular shaped cheese tail was ready to melt through her nightgown with a picture of monterey jack on it.

Rolling over in her bed once more, she groaned, ah it was still early. Too early. Why did her alarm clock have to wake her now? This thing wasn't very grate. Hmph, whatever, she was her own boss, she didn't need to wake up now anyway. So long, gouda night! Wake her up in an hour. It's not like her team was awake right now, anyway, farewell. Catching a few more zes, she let out a snore.

Knock, knock, knock.

"My liege, are you still asleep?" a feminine voice asked on the other side of the door. "We have a meeting in two hours." The hand kept on knocking as such continued. "C'mon, like, you gotta wake up, fam. It won't look gouda if the Blue Cheese Empress is late to late to her own meeting!"

Raising up from the bed, the Blue Cheese Empress broke into swissed sweat. Oh, she had a meeting today? Who decided that again? She had been so busy catching up with the kingdom news in the past few days, she almost forgot everything else. Oh, goudaness, what kind of leader was she? Throwing the duvet over, she raced towards the door.

Opening the door, a short young demon woman with light yellow skin and blonde hair fading into gold by the bangs. Hair had been tied up into a small golden braid, she had razor sharp teeth. Flaming eyebrows the same hue, she had elf ears with a cheese earring on the right lobe. Eyes adorning the same shade as her as almost everything else, she had a cheesy dress full of holes, but such had been a fashion statement. Swiss cheese print at the bottom of the skirt, she too, had a tail made of cheese sticking out from behind her. Swiss Cheese Elf in tip top shape as usual, she could never understand how anyone could look so cheddar in the morning.

"Gouda morning, my liege," Swiss Cheese Elf greeted. She pointed at her liege's face as she said such. "You have a lot of stubble on your face."

Hearing such, the Blue Cheese Empress dropped to her knees. She had a lot of stubble on her face? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This won't do. This wasn't gouda at all. There was no way she was going to a meeting with such a hideous thing. Call it off, call it off, please, call it off! When was her last jab of her lifeline again? Oh, no, forget this, cancel everything!

"Cancel the meeting!" Blue Cheese Empress cried. "I can't be seen like this!" But, such had been rejected immediately.

"My liege, we can't do that," Swiss Cheese Elf said. "Look, it's fine, no one will notice if you--." But such had been cut off immediately.

"You don't understand! I can't be seen like this!" Blue Cheese Empress shouted. "If the park leaders see me like this, I don't even know what to think!" She buried herself in her nightgown as she said such.

"Uh, I'll book you a laser this afternoon after the meeting, okay?" Swiss Cheese Elf said. "I know the doc said there's a shortage of your lifeline, and it might take a little while for you to get your refill, but we'll do everything we can to get it to you soon, okay? Nguri swore on his life." She let out a sigh. "For now, let's get you ready, okay?" She extended her hand as she said such.

Taking her attendant's hand, Blue Cheese Empress let out a groan. Surely, it would be fine to cancel this meeting, like come on now! There's no way she could go out to the meeting room looking like this. Stubby, rough, coarse like a block of cheddar cheese. It had been three weeks since her last dose of her lifeline. She thought it would be fine. Nothing would change. She can't brie-eve this. How awful.

Guided towards the mirror, she let out a screech at her reflection glaring back at her. A little stubble? That wasn't just a little, that was a lot. No, no, no, no, no. Call off the meeting! There was going to be other people there besides her team here today, without a fraction of a doubt. She can't do this. Can't a body double stand in her place? Ah, no, no one in this empire looked anything like her. She couldn't do monterey jack about this!

"Swiss Cheese Elf, you lied!" Blue Cheese Empress cried, covering her hands with her face. "This isn't a little stubble, it's a lot of stubble!" She almost wanted to howl at the mirror as she continued. "I almost have a, ah, no, I don't even want to say that word!" Tears strolled down her face as she continued. "This isn't gouda!"

"It'll be fine, my liege, we'll just, uh, we'll do a little waxing!" Swiss Cheese Elf cried. "Now could you please get dressed? I'll go get Nguri to bring it to you, okay? Be right back!" Zoom.

Fist on the mirror, Blue Cheese Empress unfolded her bright yellow cheese dress with blue cheese printed on the lower portion of the skirt. Jackal ears on each and every piece, she didn't even want to look in the mirror as she swapped her nightgown out with her day wear. Could this day end sooner? If she had a time cheesechine, she'd speed the day up to laser time right now. Dabbing on a little eyeliner, she put her crown on crooked. Cancel the meeting, cancel the meeting, cancel this dumb meeting. But, her thoughts had been cut off by approaching feet.

Standing at the bathroom door had been a tall bright yellow skinned panda man with short, spiky silver hair a small golden braid draping slightly over the shoulder. Adorning a golden suit with nguri cheese on it with panda ears, one eye had been silver and the other had been gold. Cheeky look on his face, she wished to wipe that look clean off. Was he enjoying himself?

"My liege, I brought the wax," a masculine voice said. "There isn't much, though, my apologies."


"Hurry up and bring it to me, Nguri Panda King!" Blue Cheese Empress cried.

"Goodness me, I will, don't worry," Nguri Panda King responded. "I'm working as hard as I can to get you your lifeline faster despite a medicine shortage going around." As he said such, he walked into the water closet. "By the way, that is one of the thing that will be discussed in today's meeting. Remember, we're talking about amusement park reconstruction and some other issues today."

Reminder coming her way, that didn't ring a bell. Ah, how could she forget something so important? She could hardly brie-eve it. Maybe she had been far too occupied by her own tsunami deep within to think about anything else. But, would she admit that she forgot? Of course not. What kind of leader would she be if she let something like that slip her mind? Not a very gouda one if she did say so herself.

"Yes, I recall," Blue Cheese Empress responded, nodding. But, she soon pivoted. "Is everyone else in the mess hall?"

"Hmm? Oh, my, Did you forget about the meeting today?" Nguri Panda King asked in an accusatory tone.

"No?! What makes you think I forgot?!" She dabbed on the wax as she cried such.

"You're changing the subject, my liege," Nguri Panda King responded. "I'm starting the timer, okay? We'll meet you in the mess hall."

Hot, burning wax ready to melt her face, Blue Cheese Empress let out a groan. Everything would be so much easier if they cancelled everything and let her get a laser now, but she knew that wouldn't be possible. Ah, this wasn't gouda, this wasn't gouda at all. Nguri should be the one dealing with medicine related stuff, not her. That was his department, not hers. Ah, whatever, she was the one in charge of this empire, so everyone looked to her for all sorts of things.

Timer beeping, she let out a screech as she ripped the wax off. Only a smidgeon of hair gone, she covered her face with her hands once more. Someone buy her a time cheesechine and speed up to the end of the meeting. Maybe she could ask Pecorino Romano Demon to build her one, he was an inventor, after all! Speeding off towards the mess hall, someone awaited her towards the entrance.

Standing by the mess hall door had been a short fox demon with dark yellow skin and strange turquoise eyes with square pupils. Blonde, cubical far away bangs with a loose teal hair nearly covering her eyes, she had low pigtails that matched such loose lock. Light yellow dress with a macaroni adorning a fox tail on it, her tails instead had been nine pieces of macaroni. Extra long noodle tail beneath her skirt, she had a spatula in her left hand. Cheesy Macaroni Fox sure lived up to her name, that's for sure. But, she swore the macaroni print on her skirt was about to get up and run. Ah, no, she was just super hungry, that was all.

"Good morning, my liege," Cheesy Macaroni Fox said, bowing her head. "Your morning brie wraps are ready."

"You don't need to bow your head to me, dear," Blue Cheese Empress responded. "Come in for brunch."

"Sorry, force of habit." She dashed into the mess hall as she said such.

Seating in her large, cheddar printed chair, a glowing brie warp had been seated on her plate. Whiffing up a scent of guacamole, she groaned. How could she forget she still had a currently ongoing partnership with the Palace of Pears? Avocadoes were so rancid. She should have never agreed to allow such foods into her empire. Too late now.

Turning towards the opposite end of the table, she gazed at the rest of her team. Seated on the chair furthest away from everyone had been a tall masculine cheese demon with golden skin. Short blond hair pulled into a small low ponytail over the shoulder, a portion of his hair had been bright orange and pulled into a loose braid. Bright dandelion shaded suit with pecorino cheese on it, he had a cheesy tail, behind him, and pecorino for feet. Cracking her paws, now was her chance. Pecorino Romano Demon's eyes were locked on her. Say it.

"You're looking at me," Pecorino Romano Demon said between bites. "What?"

"I want a time machine, that's what," Blue Cheese Empress replied. As she said such, she pushed away the guac sauce.

"Why?" He titled his head.

"To skip through today's meeting!" She held her hands on her head as she said such, but another person soon interrupted.

"What do you mean skip today's meeting?!" A high, tenor voice cried. "No! That's no gouda! Not happening, nope! Nuh uh!"

Defying her in the corner had been a tall cheese demon right ram horns on the top of his head. Light green skin that looked a little dirty, she tried to hold in an insult. Didn't she always tell him to wash his face in the morning? Bright, spiky yellow-green hair flowing towards his chin, a portion of his bangs had been split between shades of bright orange, but not by much. Yellow suit with gouda cheese printed on it, his tail had been a gouda wheel with wings on it. Folding her paw into a fist, she shook. How dare Gouda Ram Lord defy her like this.

"Who asked you, non-inventor?" Blue Cheese Empress cried. "I want a time cheesechine!"

"My liege, no way!" Gouda Ram Lord cried. "You know there's, like, an attack coming any day now, right?" He waved his hands in the air as he said such. "If we speed up time, the attacking kingdom will get here faster! Like, duh, use your brain!" But, a sigh had come Gouda's way.

"No time cheesechine," Pecorino Romano Demon said.

Rejection thrown her way like a block of feta, Blue Cheese Empress quickly nibbled away the rest of her brie wrap. Oh, come on now, no time cheesechine? It's not like it was that hard to make! Wasn't he supposed to be a high class inventor? Was there some sort of problem with her request or something? Come on, don't do this to her!

"Why not?" Blue Cheese Empress asked, voice cracking.

"Too much work," Pecorino Romano Demon responded. "Not doing it."

"See?! It's too much work!" Gouda Ram Lord cried. "Just like when I have to swap out the attractions on our war grounds! Which, I just did yesterday, by the way you're welcome!"

"That's different." Pecorino Romano Demon drummed his nails on the table.

"Well, excuse me, Mr. I'm Not Gouda With Words!" Gouda Ram Lord shouted. "Unlike you who only invents things when convenient, I work my butt off to keep our empire fresh!"

"I don't believe anyone asked you, Gouda," Cheesy Macaroni Fox groaned. But, such had been met with an obnoxious shout.

"Excuse me, is that a mouse talking, squeak squeak?!" Gouda kept his mockery going for everyone to listen as the beat marched on.

Arguments going for awhile, Blue Cheese Empress slipped off into her private room. Hooking up a virtual reality headset, she slipped off into another world, for a moment. Ah, sometimes she wondered why she hired Gouda Ram Lord in the first place. He was always ready to argue with anyone and everyone. Slipping into a perfect game world, she could feel herself slowly forget the meeting coming in about an hour and a half from now.

->

One Hour Later.

Almost not hearing the knock on her door, Blue Cheese Empress flinched. How many times did she tell people to not come to her quiet room? Whoever was on the other end, they had a few cheese screws loose! Putting everything down, she rolled up her sleeves. Slamming the entrance back, she hid a fist behind her.

"Swiss Cheese Elf, I've told you so many times to never disturb me in this room!" Blue Cheese Empress cried, fists shaking.

"But, like, I've been calling you for the past ten minutes, and you didn't answer," Swiss Cheese Elf replied. "The meeting is starting. The big wigs from the amusement park are here, and the medical team. We gotta hurry." She stuck out her hand as she said such. "C'mon, it'll be over before you know it."

Dragged along the way, Blue Cheese Empress almost wanted to stop in her tracks. Could they please just schedule this meeting for another day, or something? What if they saw her face? No, no, no, this won't do! Why couldn't Pecorino Romano Demon just make her a time cheesechine like she asked? It couldn't have possibly been that much work! What a lazy mozzarella stick he was.

"Could you like, stop dragging your feet, please?" Swiss Cheese Elf asked. "I promise, you'll get your laser treatment after this, okay? Stop being such a little cream cheese baby."

Attendant referring to her as an infant, the Empress could feel a wise crack ready to bounce back. But, she ate such words. Ah, why waste her breath on any of this? That'd be such a waste of time, like, hello? This would be over before she knew it, and then she was off to laser land! Look to the bright side, if there even was one. Was there one? Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?

Reaching the meeting room, a ton of infernal men with cheesy suits seated themselves by the ideas board. Doctors in the corner, she crossed her fingers. Make this quick, come on, please let this meeting breeze on by like nothing happened. If only she had a time cheesechine, this would be done already! Meeting with these people who wanted to decide how to run her country for her, she'd rather become a nice aged cheddar than listen to what these old, two thousand year old demons had to say. This was her empire, thank you.

"Cheesed to make your acquaintance, Blue Cheese Empress," the old coot said. "We would like to discuss reconstructing some old amusement parks. Our citizens have complained that the loss of Cotija Fountain Park has dulled their moods a bit." His hand moved up and down as he spoke. "We would like to reconstruct it, and possibly build some new facilities there, if possible."

Cotija Fountain Park brought to her attention, Blue Cheese Empress drummed her fingers on the table. Oh, that old park? Why waste resources on rebuilding that one? Team looking at her from every angle, she could feel herself ready to shrink. What good would it do bringing that shame of a failure back? It had been destroyed by one little flick of a wrist from a warring kingdom who refused to follow the rules. No need for that.

"Not necessary," Blue Cheese Empress said, but her voice cracked. But, he sleeve had soon been tugged.

"Uh, hello, my liege, are you crackers?" Gouda Ram Lord whispered. "Don't you remember, we store some of our weapons in the storage room there! If you don't agree to this reconstruction, we'll lose access to all that!"

Annoying sheep whispering in her ears, the Empress folded her arms on the table. It's not like she can't just move their weapon stock somewhere else. And, besides, did that even matter? They hardly ever rose a hand to people in Kingdom Warfare. What loss would it be if they didn't rebuild this park? There was no value to be had here. Scooting over to the ram's ear, she almost bit it.

"Who cares? We don't need it," Blue Cheese Empress whispered.

"What do you mean we don't need it?" Cheesy Macaroni Fox whispered. "Yes, we do!" But, she spaced out for a moment. "Why do we need them again?"

"Oh, dear, Swiss, explain it to her, please," Nguri Panda King whispered.

"The traps are integral to our defense line, you know," Swiss Cheese Elf whispered. "Like, integral, integral. It's like, forgetting to put the milk in the cheese, integral."

"She's right," Pecorino Romano Demon added. "Fake a cough, hurry."

Everyone saying the opposite, the Empress was ready to rip her hair out. Ah, were these five plotting against her? It's not like Pecorino couldn't make more traps, like, come on now! It wasn't that difficult. Forget this fountain park. If they had mentioned rebuilding the Blue Cheese Festives park, then maybe she'd grant them the three letter word of acceptance. These old coots just didn't get it. But, what kind of leader would she be to say the two letter word of rejection? Take it back, she had to take it back. Coughing, she tried to get back on track.

"What I meant to say was, go right ahead," Blue Cheese Empress said, eyes twitching. "Please, feel free to rebuild the park." The medical team then soon turned towards her.

"Cheesed to make your acquaintance, Miss Empress," the doctors said. "As you are aware, we have an alarming medicine shortage across the entire empire. We would like to request your permission to import some supplies from The Nut Shores until we're able to solve this problem."

Failing kingdom mentioned, the Empress pocketed a groan. The Nut Shores? Wasn't that one of the lesser republics in the southern portion of Satiation Kingdom? For the love of, couldn't they have chosen a more successful place to import medicines from? Maybe she should ask about that. Knock them while they're down.

"You're aware The Nut Shores are one loss away from collapsing, right?" Blue Cheese Empress asked in a mocking tone, voice cracking. "Why import from them?"

"Your Majesty, I understand that the Republic of Nuts, also known as The Nut Shores is not doing so well, but their line of medicine is the highest class in all of Satiation Kingdom," the doctors said in a stern tone. "No one comes nearly as close as they do when it comes to medical practices. We implore you to accept."

Boomerang of words rebound towards her head, the Empress folded her hands over her head. What should she do? If she uttered the two letter word of rejection, she'd be regarded as a terrible leader. But, if she accepted, what good would it do? It would probably take weeks for the supplies to get here through the trade route. Warfare had been getting much more frequent lately. An envoy would most certainly be intercepted and cause the The Nut Shores to collapse upon itself.

She drummed her fingers on the table as she kept on pondering. But, if she rejected, her lifeline would probably be on the line, wouldn't it? And, so would some other people who didn't have their own medicines. But, there had to have been other places to trade with. Right, bring that up to the docs.

"What other options are available for us to trade with that are faster?" Blue Cheese Empress asked. "It would take an envoy a whole week to reach the empire with the supplies."

"Unfortunately, no other kingdoms are willing to trade with us right now," the doc said. "This remains our only option."

Snapping her fingers, the Empress buried her head on the table. Ah, this wasn't gouda. What was going on with the other trade routes? What were their other trade routes anyway? But, that's when she remembered. Ah, right, Sweet and Sour Kingdom. Hadn't they recently closed off all outside influence or something? Guess there was no other option, then.

"Fine, I shall allow it," the Blue Cheese Empress responded. "And, try to get the supplies here quickly."

"We will try to have the envoy arrive within two days time, if possible," the doc said. "Thank you for your time."

Annoying old coots leaving, the Empress kept her head buried on the table, for a moment. Thank gouda that meeting was over. Her voice didn't sound gruff, did it? She needed to start practicing more! Ah, goodness, it had cracked so many times today, didn't it? Gross, disgusting, horrible, terrible, awful, no gouda.

Getting a good old laser to the lip, chest and legs, she could soon breathe again. Beautiful, brie-utiful, she was soft again, femme, pristine, fit for an empress. But, as she thought such, the warfare siren soon tooted its own horn. Team bolting towards her door, she cracked her knuckles. Well, well, well, it would seem like a certain sour kingdom dared to challenge her. Slapping on a poncho, she bolted through the door.

It was time for some amusement.

***

"It would seem that Sweet and Sour Kingdom doesn't know
Their place in this world. From what

I've heard recently, they're bent on getting revenge for the death of two of their teammates.
So, to that, I say, go to some other kingdom

That cares? Don't take this out on us just because that happened to you, okay?
I have better things to do than entertain a bunch of
Miserable little dragons and demons who are out for revenge. But, go ahead,
Eat your hearts out while you're at it. We have other

Things to deal with than to allow this stupidity.
Our empire is different, you see? We don't

Go about warfare with violence. But, I assume they intend to
End this with violence rather
Than through carnival games. Alright, so listen, listen here, and listen now.

Don't attack any
Of my teammates.
We will be doing this fair and square.
Now, here's how the rules work

Around here. First, we race across the Brie Canal.
Now, there's a few traps
Down this canal, but whoever gets to the Kingdom Bastion

First is allowed to destroy up to half of the towers on the battlefield.
Uh, so, if your entire team crosses the finish line before the rest? Half get destroyed.
Now, if only a couple cross, you only get to destroy about three. There's a time limit to cross the canal. I
Know that's a little complicated, so
You'll have to bear

With me here, alright? Anyone who tries to beeline directly to our bastion will be
Eliminated immediately, That's not the rules of the games here. This isn't
Like Pitaya Land that allows that, well,
Let's be honest, they're

So much weaker than us, but
How could I forget that?
Of course, our approach to
Warfare is a little weird, but we're not as weird as some of the others! I mean, have

You seen how some of the
Others kingdom warfare works?
Uh, no, you haven't? Ah,

Whatever, whatever, whatever you say. Anyway,
Here in Cheese World, we don't resort to
Any violence. Look, I know
That seems too good to be true

And all that, but it's true. It's not as

Rare as you think for there to be nonviolent
Empires. There's actually quite
A few others
Lying around in Satiation Kingdom. And, no, Sweet and Sour Kingdom

Was not one of these. They
Are a very violent
Republic. I'm not saying violent kingdoms are

Lesser, or anything, but their approach to how things are run is quite
Obtuse. Looking at you, Strawberry Kingdom. They're
Only at the top of Satiation
Kingdom because they deploy
Such violent tactics all the time.

Like, their Kingdom Warfare just boils down to, destroy the towers, attack the enemies, and go to the fork tower.
It's so bloody simple, I don't
Know what to say.
Eh, but it's not like I care how that country runs their kingdom."

Reaching a large, pale yellow body of water with herbs and spices floating around it, a badger, a kraken, a plant monster, and dragon plus two annoying specters floating around, a finger had been pointed at her team and she. Oh, grate, Sweet And Sour Kingdom had really decided to waltz their unwelcome tushes here.

"Cheese World, we challenge you to a battle!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "We'll get revenge for our fallen comrades!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Objective: Reach the Destination Within the Timeline.
Note: The more teammates that reach the bastion, the more towers that get destroyed.

"Listen here! We ain't following no rules around here!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "We just want to knock these sorry little losers out!"

"Uh, hello, loser number one!" Gouda Ram Lord cried. "If you don't follow the rules of our kingdom, you'll lose by default!"

"That's right!" Cheesy Macaroni Fox cried. "Your precious kingdom is about to collapse, right? Better do as you're told, or you'll have to face automatic defeat!"

"Fiddlesticks!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "Foiled by law and order!"

"Who are these weirdos?" Swiss Cheese Elf asked.

"Beats me," Pecorino Romano Demon said.

"Oh, dear, we ask you to just fight us fair and square, alright?" Nguri Panda King asked. "We are fully aware of what went down in Pitaya Land, and just know, breaking the rules here has dire consequences."

"We ain't afraid of ya'll!" Buffalo Wings Hydra shouted.

Time is running out. Time remaining to cross Brie Canal: five minutes.

"Oh, grate, could you all stop wasting time?" Blue Cheese Empress cried. "While you're all busy arguing, we barely have time to get to the end of the canal!" As she said such, she hopped into her boat. These stupid demons, they wasted their time on purpose didn't they? Ghosties flying beside her, she sped up her paddle. Get away from her, get away from her. Why did the cheese bed beneath her feel so cold all of a sudden? Speeding up her movement, a whistle soon blared.

Blue Cheese Empress has reached the destination.

Guaranteed towers that can be destroyed: three.

"How did she cross the finish line already?!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "Cheat!"

Nguri Panda King and Cheesy Macaroni fox speeding towards the canal finish line next, she could hear the opposing kingdom screech cheater over and over, the Empress rolled her eyes. Excuse her? She was following her rules to a t! It's not her fault that they're slower than her! Gouda Ram Lord, Swiss Cheese Elf, and Pecorino Romano Demon speeding down next, another horn soon blared.

All six members of the Cheese World Team have crossed the Finish Line.

Guaranteed Towers that can be destroyed: ten.

"What?! You can't be serious!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "They cheated! Announcer, take it back, they're cheats!"

But, no such announcement ever came. Sirens staying silent, the annoying party of four screeched as they crossed the finish line. Nothing blaring that they could destroy any towers, the Empress could feel a storm ready to brew at any given moment. Ah, what a bunch of sore losers. Shoulders feeling cold, she shivered. Could this stupid ghost behind her go away already? She ought to eat that stupid thing in her salad tonight!

Reaching the amusement park, she could see her enemies' look about ready to roll around in their graves. Ah, she knew what was coming now. Where's the real battlegrounds? Excuse her, these were the real battlegrounds. Ferris wheel spinning backwards, she could feel her heart leap. Ah, no something wasn't right about this, what did Gouda Ram Lord do. Siren tooting, the next announcement soon came.

Objective: Three members of either party must win a carnival game in order to destroy the towers.

Other Objective (Not Recommended): Defeat All Enemies. (Four of Four)

Objective: Find the star seat on the ferris wheel to claim victory.

Warning: directly destroying towers one is not permitted to do so is punishable by death.

Announcements ending, the Empress could hear the enemy groups grumble to themselves. She couldn't help but hold in a giggle upon their shock and awe. Didn't like how the rules worked around here? Then get stomped on by spiked cheese rum! Ha. Half of the enemies opposing towers knocked out, the game machines popped up. But, the ones coming open were quite the chore.

Ring toss staring at her, the Empress could hardly brie-eve her eyes. Oh, great, this was her least favorite one of all time. Why did it have to be this, of all games? How could she even hope to get any sort of victory at this one? Gouda Ram Lord, how dare he cycle in the top tier difficulty. She'd give him a stern talking to later, that's for sure! But, as she had begun throwing, she could hear her enemies ramble.

"That little warning ain't gonna stop us!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "Their towers are out in the open!"

"Just shut up, and play fair, or else," Gouda Ram Lord cried. "Like, hello, you heard the announcement, didn't you?!"

"You think that's gonna stop us?!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "Bye bye, towers!"

Boom, boom, boom.

Towers Destroyed: six out of twenty.

"Oh, my gouda, oh my gouda, my tails, my taiiiiiiiiiiils!" Cheesy Macaroni Elf cried. "I don't think I'm going to make it." Boink.

Enemies Defeated: One of six.

Tower destroyed, the Empress tossed rings with all her might. Ah, so these four wanted to break the rules, did they? If one of their teammates is sentenced to death, it's not her fault! Hmph, she'll show them how the rules work around here. Taking a deep breath, she through the last little toy onto the final hole. Dings pinging, she readied herself to run to the ferris wheel.

Games successfully completed: one

Games needed to be completed for objective to be cleared: two.

"Pecorino, how's your game coming along?!" Blue Cheese Empress shouted across the fair.

"Fine," Pecorino Romano Demon said. "Almost done."

Ding, ding, ding.

Games Successfully Completed: Two.

Games needed to be completed for objective to be cleared: one.

Towers destroyed: fifteen of twenty.

But, as such announcement played, the empress could hear further towers on their side be decimated. Ah, this kingdom sure loved breaking the rules, didn't they? Hearing Gouda Ram Lord fall to the ground and become one with the loser bench, she could hear him say he'll personally wring out the badger's neck for this. Ah, lovely. How grate. This is why she didn't want these freaks to come to her empire!

"Nguri!" Blue Cheese Empress cried. "How's your progress on the ski ball game?"

"Sorry, my liege," Nguri Panda King said in a weak voice, they got me down."

Allies defeated: three of six.

"Swiss Cheese Elf, hurry!" Blue Cheese Empress cried. "You're our only hope."

"Don't worry, I just have to shoot this target, and," Swiss Cheese Elf said. "Boom." But, as she said such, further destruction had happened around her.

Towers destroyed: ten of twenty.

Badger continuing to break the rules, the Empress cracked her knuckles as she reached the ferris wheel. These fiends, if they think they can get away with this clear violation, they could kiss their lives goodbye. Well, it wouldn't be her fault, anyway, if that happened. The fair would get pretty lethal for rule breakers.

Hopping on the Ferris Wheel, the Empress stuck her head out the window. Sparkling seat quite far away, she leapt out. Ah, this won't do, she had to get to the flag now. Nothing a little cheese spread wouldn't fix. Wings behind her, she could hear screams come towards her. And, screams they were.

"Her back's open!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "Hurry!"

"On it!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "You're going down, mister."

"Mister?!" Blue Cheese Empress rumbled. Snapping her fingers. "Who are you calling mister?" As she said such, a pepper jack scythe appeared behind her. "Pepper Jack Onslaught!"

Crackle, crackle, crackle.

Stupid plant knocked into yesterday, as well as the kraken, the Empress could feel her rage begin to build as she leapt into the sparkling seat. How dare they say that word, the m word. They deserved to have their heads chopped clean off. Closing the door behind her, the last two towers on the opposing side had come crashing down.

Starved.

Warning, warning, violation found. Sawblade has been deployed beneath Sour Plum Badger's feet.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaah!" Sour Plum Badger screamed. But, the sawblade had soon become one with her. "You will pay for my death with your lives, Cheese World!"

Living trio departing from the kingdom, the Blue Cheese Empress could feel herself begin to boil over. The m word. The disgusting m word. Fallen teammates regaining consciousness, she returned to her abode. Slamming the door behind her, she slipped back into her virtual reality. No more freaks, no more empress responsibilities, no more nothing. Playing until she could feel herself doze off, the indignance soon returned.

If that stupid kingdom dares to come back, they're going to get it next time.

Rotten cheese served moldy.

---

Next is Pumpkin City, now that one should be super fun! This didn't go as I expected it to, ngl haha.

 

[Palamon]

Pumpkin City: Old Fashioned Festive City-State

---

"Spooktacular day it is today! I welcome you all to
Pumpkin City! A fun, bustling city where it's always a scare
Of a time! Here, we're all about pumpkins, candy, graves, spiders! It's always trick
Or treat here, and you're in for a good time! I
Know that not everything can be fun all the time, looking at
You, Cheese World! Oh,

Don't get me wrong, it's not
A fun time all the time, try as I might, I Pumpkin Lord Fawn, better known as Spook Lord Fawn cannot
Yield all the conflict. We're more interested in scare festivals and all that, but listen, we're the festival capital here

In Satiation Kingdom! It's all about keeping up
That image! But sometimes, annoying other kingdoms try to attack.

I'm going to preface this. We're a nonviolent kingdom. Unlike
Strawberry Kingdom and Pitaya Land, we resolve

Things through treasure hunts, a costume contest and
One big board game where towers are slowly
Downed. We prefer it if we just
Aren't violent. And while we might be one of the weaker in the top ten, it doesn't matter because the way I run things it's fun. I'm not sure if I'm at the middle, or the bottom, but
You know I honestly don't care. I have a great time running my kingdom and,

Here's the thing, that's all that matters to me.
Even though everyone else sees us a goofy government,
Literally, that's what foreign adversaries have said to me
Like, thousands of times at this point. They have told me
Over the course of centuries at this point that

I run this city state, 'goofy aye eyche,' whatever that
Means. Abbreviations are extremely weird. What does that even mean? I find it

Pretty hard to keep
Up with the times! Look, I'm not old or anything! Okay, well, no
Maybe that's not true, I'm
Pretty old for a demon, I'm millennias old. I'm from a breed of demon who cannot be
Killed easily and have long lifespans.
I'm pretty sure it's like that for every demon in Satiation Kingdom, but I do
Not claim to know, but I

Literally cannot keep up with the times. Do I try?
Of course I do. It's not like I don't try to keep a
Record of what does happen and what the youthful
Demons seem to favor. But, I

Fear I'll pretty much never know what
Any of the youth in our kingdom truly
Want. Look, I'm trying! But, I am not very good it. I know how to use tech, but
Nothing more. Technological advancements are getting too

Big, and I don't know how the other
Kingdoms are able to keep up, because I sure know that
At this point, I can't keep up at all. But,

Since I am the lord of this
Place, and I run everything, I
Obviously have to approve
Of most projects that get brought to my attention. I
Know, I can say no. I have heard, for example, the Strawberry Shark Queen

Likes to reject proposals a lot, most
Of which go against the queen's vision and the
Regime. Which, whatever their regime is, I simply
Don't care. I can't get along with violent Kingdoms. They're

Far beneath me. They choose violence to raise to the top,
And I don't agree
With that approach in any way!
Now, maybe I'm just a super old demon. And I feel

Wildly different from the younger demons. But, I have seen younger demons,
Err, there's one kingdom who
Literally solves everything by playing these extremely
Crazy sports and they're
One of the youngest Kingdoms. I think they
Might be run by the youngest leader, and they're a nonviolent kingdom!
Eh, I don't care, we run

Things the way we do, and
Others run things the way they do! Now, we here are

Preparing for a big festival. What festival, you ask? Well, it's that time of year again! The
Ultimate Scare Festival! I know it's a bad time to have something like this going. I'm aware, Sweet And Sour Kingdom a
Malicious and violent Kingdom, is out seeking revenge. Yes, I am quite acutely aware. They're
Probably trying to go after us next. Do I have any idea how many
Kingdoms they have attacked? At this point, no
I'm not. I'm not the one who deals with foreign affairs. I'm
Not in the know, I guess that's why we're the weaker of the ten. But,

Come on, I mean, I really don't care what the other kingdoms are fighting for.
It's just of absolutely no interest
To me. No, Pumpkin City isn't isolated.
Yes, foreigners can come here. Our kingdom boasts the

Most tourists out of any kingdom, ha, Pitaya Land can't say that! Neither can
You, Cheese World! My

Kingdom is the tourist capital of the world!
It's full of fun festivals? What do you have? Ferris wheels? That's
Nothing! Anyway, I have a big festival to get ready for. And this year, it's
Going to be big. I think some people from the lesser kingdoms might be coming, but I
Don't remember where I put the guest list, so
Oops. In any case, if Sweet And Sour Kingdom attacks, they can kiss
My foot. Follow the rules: treasure hunt, costume contest, board game. Do all that, or get out!"

The wind blew across the land of Pumpkin City situated in the southern western corners of Satiation Kingdom. Bright orange gourd sun peeking behind the waxy candy corn clouds, people were organizing, candy was getting stuffed into baskets. It had been yet another spooktacular day for the citizens that resided within the city state. But, the gales of fun would soon bring about a hurricane.

Owls hooting up a storm, a short, tan female demon that stood at about one hundred sixty seven centimeters rose from her bed chamber. Short magenta hair with bright orange tips at the bottom barely reaching below her ears, her short green horns looked like that of a pumpkin stem. Bright, glowing eyes half orange and half pink, her eyelashes matched her locks almost exactly. Feety pumpkin pajamas almost way too big for her, her spiky dark green dragon tail stung as she made her bed up nicely. Oh, great unripe pumpkin, she slept on her tail again.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Miss Spook Lord Fawn, are you awake?" a voice called out from the other side of the door. "I have your clothes ready, and your wand." The pounds kept on going for minutes on end. "We have to hurry and get you ready today. We have discovered something that needs to be addressed as soon as possible."

Hearing a loud pounding on her door, Spook Lord Fawn's hair stuck up like an antenna on one of those newly fangled televisions. Oh, dear, what could possibly be going wrong? Today is the Ultimate Scare Festival, the biggest festival of the entire year. She can't have any dark omens befalling her people on a day like today!

"Coming," Spook Lord Fawn said, turning the doorknob slowly. "It can't be that bad, right? You younger demons are always worrying about everything!"

Standing at the door had been a short young masculine rabbit demon with bunny ears colored like candy corn. Long hair pulled into a low ponytail that looked like a big piece of candy corn as well, his locks had been white, yellow and orange. Eyes a citrusy color as well, his pupils were sparkly. Dark yellow skin waxy like the chicken feed they were called back in her day, his dark orange suit adorned four pieces of candy corn with rabbit ears on top of them. Sighing, she couldn't help but feel envious. Candy Corn Hare, what a spry young demon man he was.

"I know you say often us in the younger generation of demons here worry about everything and stuff, but milord, being too laid back also isn't a good thing," Candy Corn Hare said. "But, that's neither here nor there, let's get you dressed, aight? Candy Apple Woofer will do your tail."

Guided towards the washroom, Spook Lord Fawn bit her lower lip. The younger generation sure adored their slang and shortening their words into lingo. Back in her youth, that would have been the unthinkable. If her parents had heard how the younger generation spoke, they'd be kicking in the holes they buried themselves in right about now.

Reaching a large room with a pumpkin sticker permanently glued onto it, dark orange walls had soon looked ready to peel off like a dragon molting away in the silence of the mountains far away in isolation of everyone else. Maybe it was time to hire someone to redo her private washing quarters. But, who had time for that? She had a city state to run for crying out loud!

"Pumpkin Lord Fawn," a timid voice said from the door. "Um, I'm here. I will brush your tail for you, but we need to hurry. We have to talk about something."


Standing by the door frame had been a short dark skinned demon with light brown bangs that vibrantly faded into a light pinkish red, the color of wine. Two toned locks reaching his chin, on the top of his head had been jackal ears. Pink suit with candy apples on it having the same ears as his own head, behind him had been a light crimson tail in the shape of a candy apple with a straw. She remembered when Candy Apple Woofer had been left on her doorstep about five hundred years ago as a little impling, how the times have changed, they grow up so fast.

"I know, dearie. Don't worry, you youngin' are a lot faster than me," Spook Lord Fawn said, but then a sense of doom flowed through her. "You're not replacing me, are you?"

"Um, no," Candy Apple Woofer said. "Why would we be?" As he said such, he spun the tail brush around. "Um, anyway, I'll brush your tail now, okay?"

Bristles pressing downward rather hard, Spook Lord Fawn grit her teeth. These new fangled tail brushes, what were they making them out of these days? Whatever materials they were being created with, they sure weren't thinking about the interest of the fellow old demons here! Unbelievable. She needed to be stricter with the changes to so many things around her.

Tail behind her ready for action, the bright orange portion of her hair had soon been tied upwards into high bunned ponytails. Pumpkin barrette handed to her with a goofy face on it, she had soon been placed into a bright orange dress with a belted collar and three little pumpkins with silly expressions on the skirt. Sleeping pumpkin wand handed to her, she slapped the magic tool on the table. Alas, yet again, her magic sleeps. Ah well, maybe she was getting too old to use spells anyway.

"Ah, no, we have to hurry," Candy Corn Hare said in a frantic turn. "Spider Cracker Birdo said we have to be in the meeting room asap! Like, right now, asap!"

"Um, Chocolate Elf Archduke too," Candy Apple Woofer said, voice shaking. "If we're late, he's going to blow like a chocolate lava cake volcano!"

Young spry dog mentioning a food from another kingdom, Spook Lord Fawn could not help but feel annoyed. Ah, yes, Pitaya Land, that foolish kingdom run by an irresponsible youthful dragon who was pretty close to running their kingdom to the ground. Who thought it was a good idea to build a kingdom right next to a volcano? Well, they would learn the hard way when something happens, not her problem!

Reaching the meeting room, a tall, tan male demon with spiky light brown hair that had been darker towards his ears, he had the strangest of outfits. Plain light brown shirt having two circular salted crackers with stick pretzels stuck into them, he had pretzel sticks for bird wings, and three fingered hands that were hard baked crackers as well, the lord sighed of nostalgia. She remembered it like it was yesterday when this young demon had somehow, some way, turned himself into a pretzel. He sure adored that food didn't he? No wonder he changed his name to Spider Cracker Birdo.

Tapping his foot upon the ground had been a light brown skinned demon with light blond hair that had faded into brown braided side burns. Brown eyes like everyone all the other men in her mansion, his fiery eyelashes were almost ready to fall off and burn. Or, were they? She never knew with these youths. Light lavender sweater with green buttons in the middle, it had been decorated with words aplenty. Candy, choco, nuts. Chocolate with wings and a crown in the empty spaces, he had a strange tail shaped like a bar of choco as well. Chocolate Elf Archduke, impatient as always.

"You're thirty seconds late!" Chocolate Elf Archduke screeched. "Oh my unripe pumpkin, how many times do I have to tell you lot to be to our meetings early!"

"But, like, bro," Spider Cracker Birdo said, whistling. "Gummy Worms Lop isn't here yet."

"You know him! He's always late to everything!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "Always the same excuse, 'sorry, my parasitic gummy worm disease acting up again.' Ugh! Doesn't he know how made up that disease sounds?" He then turned towards the lord. "Milord, it's time we fire him. Why did you hire this guy?"

Questioning of past hiring coming her way, the Spook Lord Fawn could feel sweet memories flow in. Ah, yes, she remembered the day she hired this demon like it was yesterday. He was a good, resourceful young rabbit at the time. But, then the gummy worms attacked. Or something. She never knew if that was true. Maybe he was making it all up for attention. He was a rather quiet fellow when it came to talking about himself.

But, she knew despite all that, he was still a hard worker. Just plagued by his own inner problems. Why fire him now? That'd be like throwing a puppy out on the street, she couldn't do that! This elf sure lived up to the archduke moniker in his name. What a bossy little thing he was. Sometimes she wondered if he was like this for fun.

"Dearie, he just wants attention," Spook Lord Fawn said. "He'll give up when he's bored."

"Give up what when I'm bored?" A voice from behind her asked.

Turning around, a short feminine appearing rabbit demon with sickly yellow skin had his arms crossed around his waist. Black hair that had been yellow on the left side, he had a low bun that had also been half black, half yellow as well. Adorning a light brown shirt with a folded down collar, there had been gummy worms everywhere from his hips to his clothes with rabbit ears. Small skirt beneath him, the lord jumped back a bit.

"Nothing, dearie!" Pumpkin Lord Fawn cried. "Please don't sneak up behind me like that, Gummy Worms Lop, I can't feel presences behind me quite like I used to!"

"Whatever," Gummy Worms Lop said in a defiant tone. He then turned towards Chocolate Elf Archduke. "What's this about firing me, huh? Don't forget the walls have ears."

"Then, you should know why I want you gone!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "Ugh, you're insufferable. I already know what you're going to say. 'Sorry, my gummy worms disease is acting up again.' It didn't work the last billion times you said it either!"

"Bro, he said it like only twenty times," Spider Cracker Birdo said. sighing. "Get your facts straight."

"Um, can we please just get on with the meeting?" Candy Apple Woofer asked. "We don't have much time."

"If you weren't thirty seconds late, we'd have started already!" The Archduke waved his fists in the air as he said such.

"Are you a young demon, or an old demon?" Candy Corn Hare asked. "I can never tell with you."

Seating herself in the leader chair, Spook Lord Fawn crusted her left leg into her right thigh. Ah, yes, a sudden meeting. This happened every year the day of The Ultimate Scare Festival. This and that wasn't ready. Group A needed more time before it starts. Group B needed a little more time to get ready. It was the same chaos as usual. It was always the same.

But, same it would not be.

"Milord, we have called this meeting to tell you there is a foreign spy discovered from another kingdom," Candy Corn Hare warned. "There's danger in our midst."

Unexpected warning coming her way, the Spook Lord Fawn put her hand beside her ear. Come again, was she hearing that correctly just now? A spy from a foreign kingdom? These youngins were way too cautious! People from the other kingdoms come here all the time. Everyone was welcome here! Even those ragtag ruffians over in Strawberry Kingdom this had to have been some sort of misunderstanding.

"Surely, you must be mistaken!" Spook Lord Fawn cried. "We get visitors from other kingdoms all the time! We're a city state of festivities, for crying out loud!"

But, there had been a moment of silence between everyone. Her team whispering to one another, she couldn't help but feel like the youths had been keeping a big secret from her. Had this quote on quote spy been festering about for awhile now? Oh, boy, oh dear, if so, that wasn't good. Oh, dear her. Did they no longer feel like they could confide in her?

"Um, milord, it's not like that," Candy Apple Woofer said, voice shaking. "We suspect someone has sent a spy from Sweet and Sour Kingdom recently. Um, maybe you're not aware, but Sweet and Sour Kingdom is currently seeking revenge on the top ten kingdoms after Strawberry Kingdom killed their leader."

"And, so far, they've attacked Pitaya Land and Cheese World, too!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "And, they decided to break the rules of Cheese World's kingdom warfare!" He clicked his tongue as he continued. "The nerve! They should know by now how sacred the rules are in Kingdom Warfare."

"Bro, you know they ain't care none 'bout the rules," Spider Cracker Birdo said, folding his arms across his waist. "They are a kingdom that abides by none. So, they go to every kingdom they can with lawlessness."

"Meh, we can take them if they challenge us to Kingdom Warfare," Gummy Worms Lop said, head bopping downward. "They're not in the top ten. So, who cares if they send a spy? We can easily eliminate them, can't we?"

A collection of sighs had soon filled the room for a moment. Unsure looks on everyone's faces, Spook Lord Fawn shrugged. They all had to have been mistaken. A spy from Sweet and Sour Kingdom? Come on now. Maybe they had heard wrong. It happens to the best of them all. Spy on what anyway? This was a peaceful festive kingdom. She had built that up for the past two thousand years!

Turning towards her elven high duke youth, she wondered if the Archduke had simply been making up problems that did not exist for the sake of it since nothing had been going on this Ultimate Scare Festival season. Back in her youth, such a thing never happened. Drama for the sake of it? Some demons had too much time on their hands! Rumors were quite the sickness. Get well soon.

"Dearie, they're probably just here for the festivities!" Spook Lord Fawn cried. "I highly doubt they're a spy!" But, a sigh had come her way.

"See? This is why I said we shouldn't even bother telling the lord about this!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "She doesn't believe us!"

"Um, to be fair, it is kind of unbelievable," Candy Apple Woofer said, shaking his head. "We're mostly a peaceful kingdom. Rarely anyone ever attacks us, and when they do, they don't understand our rules and lose. It happens every time."

"And this is why you shouldn't be on this team!" Chocolate Elf Archduke shouted. "Ugh, for the love of everything! Milord, can we please look for the spy? I don't care if you think there isn't one, there is one. We spotted someone peculiar trotting around in the Skull Candy Chasms near the fairgrounds!"

Old canyon mentioned, the Spook Lord Fawn twiddled her little wand. Ah, that old place? Honestly, she thought she had went and sealed off the entrance there a long time ago. Maybe it would be best to do something about it before it was too late. It could have been a young demon who didn't know any better! It didn't have to be a spy! Sure, she'll bite, she'll see what's up, as the youth would say.

"Prepare my pumpkin carriage within an hour," the Spook Lord Fawn demanded.

"You heard milord!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "Hurry up and set up her carriage!" He clapped his hands as he said such. "Chop chop!"

Youths all speeding away, the Spook Lord Fawn kept on twiddling her danky old wand. Ah, they would all soon see they were being worried for nothing. Who in this day and age sends spies from another kingdom anyway? Stuff like that didn't even happen when she was young! Ah, how the timers were changing.

->

One Hour Later.

Carriage set up, the god old pumpkin horses neighed up a storm, youths looking at her every which way, the Spook Lord Fawn waved at her denizens. Hearing cried whispers and laughs saying, doesn't their lord know that cars were invented like, hundreds of years ago? Guffaws of being an old timer, she put on a wide, but crooked smile. Have a problem with being old? When they reach her age, they'll see the light!

"Shut your traps!" Spider Cracker Birdo cried. "You're all in the presence of your lord right now!"

"She won't be two years from now!" a youthful citizen cried. "Look at this old bag! Get with the times, grandma!"

"Um, can you hurry up, Candy Corn Hare?" Candy Apple Woofer asked. "What's the hold up?"

"Squash doesn't want to move," Candy Corn Hare said, sighing. "He's been hard of hearing recently."

"Ha, and even your horses are getting old!" the youthful citizen cried. "Ya'll should just retire! I mean, like, soon, because of our weak old leader, we'll be knocked to the bottom of Satiation Kingdom."

"Oh? Then you're free to leave and migrate to another kingdom any time!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "Don't you have more important things to do like go help with festival preparations?"

Youthful naysayer running away, Spook Lord Fawn shrugged her shoulders. She had heard it all before. There had been so many people who thought she was nearly six feet under and should retire in that smelly old folks home by now. But, she shuddered at such fact. No way is she checking into Caramel Corn Retirement Home, she still had thousands of years left in her!

Neigh, neigh, neigh.

Gummy Worms Lop getting out of the carriage, she watched as the spry lop's little hip worms tickled her steeds aplenty. Loud neigh whinnying it up, he fell to his knees. Shaking his head in a rapid manner, he soon recoiled, for a moment. Shaking her head, the young rabbit soon stood up. Oh, dear her, she should have known by now her stallions were a rough bunch.

"They're ready to go now, I guess," Gummy Worms Lop said, hopping into the carriage. "But, you know, milord, they're kind of right. It's about time we get a car or truck. Your steeds might not last much longer."

"Nonsense, they've gotten me through thick and thin, and they'll continue to do so!" Spook Lord Fawn cried. "It's time to get going!"

Neigh, neigh, neigh.

Hare guiding the horses nicely, she watched as her citizens had been hard at work for this year's Ultimate Scare Festival. What a time to be alive! Such a thing never failed to make her feel a little younger. Things were going smoothly. By the time she was back from the Skull Candy Chasms, everything would be ready to go, she could feel it in her old bones.

Whinny, whinny, gallop, gallop, gallop.

Equestrian gang speeding themselves up as if they had heard something, bitter pumpkin soup dropped down into Spook Lord Fawn's stomach. Maybe there had been something wrong after all. Well, no matter, it was probably just some youth who needed some reeducation. Nothing she wasn't used to.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Soon reaching a pure white gorge with skulls on the walls everywhere, the ground shook from beneath her. Steeds whinnying up a storm, the pumpkin lord had soon become one with the ground. Letting out a hiss, she had been a frozen statue. Dang nabbit, her back wasn't what it used to be. Hand extended, she could feel an insult coming.

"Milord, are you alright?" Candy Corn Hare asked. "That was a pretty bad tremor."

"Um, this is why I thought she shouldn't have come here," Candy Apple Woofer said, voice shaking. "This place isn't safe."

"Nonsense, it was just a little fall!" Spook Lord Fawn cried. "Nothing to worry about!"

"Um, if you say so, milord," Candy Apple Woofer said, sighing. "But, um, you know, more demons have been pushing for your retirement lately. Have you seen what people have said about you on the net?"

"Bro, you know our lord doesn't even have a computer," Spider Cracker Birdo said, shaking his head. "Of course she hadn't seen none of that!"

"Could you all stop talking, and get moving?" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "You all know we have more important things to be doing today! Hurry up and find where that spy is hiding so we can check up on the festival preparations!" He then turned towards Gummy Worms Lop. "And, you."

"What about me?" Gummy Worms Lop asked, worms on his body coiling around his waist. "I'm kinda, you know, caught up here. Gummy Worms Virus got me stuck here, and stuff."

"Remind me why you haven't fired this guy yet?!" Chocolate Elf Archduke asked, tone annoyed. "Whatever! By the unripe pumpkin, you're useless. Stay with the horses!"

"Whatevs." He stayed put.

Everyone running ahead of her, the Spook Lord Fawn swore she could hear something explode deeper within the caverns. Ah, what was that just now? Had something gone, as the youth would say, kerplooey? This is why she had this place sealed off in the first place all those centuries ago. No one should be in this dangerous place at all!

Hearing further things knock their caps off, she gazed at everything around her. Oh, dear, whoever had snuck in here, they sure were having fun breaking down old things that were full of hazards. She ought to teach whoever this was that snuck in here a lesson. Shame on everyone using the word spy. It was probably just a impling who didn't know any better that this place was off limits.

But, such had soon, not been the case. Spotting a youthful looking kraken with brown and red hair slithering towards the corner upending every single geyser imaginable, the lord shook her head. How disappointing, this spry little demon was, where were they from? Hmm, they looked like they had come from Sweet and Sour Kingdom. Ah, this was the kingdom she was warned about. This wasn't good. Where was everyone else? Maybe she should act like they look lost.

"Hello, there, dearie, are you lost?" Spook Lord Fawn asked. "This place is off limits!" But, such had been met with a bucket of laugher.


"Hah! It's as I thought! The leader of Pumpkin City is as old as dust!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "How did a weak, yesterday's news like you reach to the top ten of Satiation Kingdom?" As she said such, she snapped her fingers. "Oops, we blew up one of your towers, by the way!" She laughed as she said such.

Bleep, bleep, bloink.

Alert, alert, a tower has been attacked. Unlawful start to Kingdom Warfare has been initiated.

"Are you kidding me?! This stupid kingdom has that rule, too?!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "These stupid nonviolent kingdoms, I swear!" She then pointed at the old coot with her tentacle. "Whatever! We declare war on you, Pumpkin Lord Fawn, and we'll win!"

Youth breaking her rules, Spook Lord Fawn cracked her knuckles. Oh, she sees, this girl wasn't a spy at all, just an invader. Why couldn't her team just tell her exactly how it is? Was spy some new fancy codeword they had decided to invent? Man, youths these days. Sighing, she waved her wand. She could feel her magic flow through her for a brief moment. Everyone beside her, everyone's eyes blinked.

"You got your magic back?!" Gummy Worms Lop asked, shaken. "I thought that stuff went away for like, ever!"

"This old coot's still got a few transportation spells left in her," Spook Lord Fawn said, smiling. "Anyway, we've been challenged to war. We need to hurry to our cemetery!"

"Heh, cemetery?!" the enemy cried. "Thanks for leaking where your towers are, bye!" Poof. As she vanished, eyes turned towards her.

"Milord, she's going to destroy all our towers now!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "What are you thinking?!"

"Um, you know they're not allowed to do that," Candy Apple Woofer said, shaking his head.

"And?" Candy Corn Hare asked. "You think that's going to stop them? Sweet and Sour Kingdom is a lawless and violent kingdom! That's why we've been trying to ban them from coming here for years now!"

"Bros, chill," Spider Cracker Birdo said, pretzel hands in the air. "If they break the rules, the Apple Cider Vinegar Reaper will stab them in the back. Literally, like, literally."

"Oh, dear, well, let's go before they destroy all our towers!" Spook Lord Fawn cried. "I still have one last transportation spell in me." As she said such, she lifted up her wand. "Let's go!" Poof.

Blinding light engulfing her and her carriage in the corner, she could feel heat emanate from her. Ah, she had forgotten what it was like to be able to transport from one place to another. That's what age did to demons sometimes. Cemetery almost before her, she cracked her decrepit knuckles.

It's time to teach these youths a little lesson.

***

"Silly youths don't seem to know that my kingdom
Is not quite the same as others around here. They might think it's as simple as attacking our towers, but
Listen. You can't just attack our towers head on. That's against the rules here. And, is punishable by death. I am aware Sweet and Sour Kingdom is a
Lawless kingdom where anything is allowed, but around here, that's not allowed at all. Most
Youthful demons who attack my kingdom end up losing.

Yes, we're towards the bottom
Of the top ten, but that's not because of losses. It's
Uh, as the foreigners have told me, because we're 'too old fashioned and can't rise to the top.'
Now, I know, I can't quite
Get with the times! I'm aware
I am one old coot. But, I'm
Not doing anything wrong. Our kingdom's warfare relies heavily on engaging with our environment.
Searching for treasure. And then a costume contest, then a board game. A big board game that stretches

Down the entire bastion.
Of course, I pity those who think just because we're old fashioned means were do
Not deserve to be in the
Top ten, but we earned our place here. We almost never lose. I

Know, I know, that sounds impossible since we're a
Nonviolent kingdom, but there's a few
Others like us, such as our neighbors in Pie Plaza.
Which is run by the youngest ruler of all. The

Way he runs things is quite different from
How we do things, but how we do things is as
Acceptable as theirs.
There's no true way to run a kingdom. No two are run the
Same. Anyway, we intend to show this

Childish ruffians a lesson
On how things work around her in Pumpkin City.
Most people never make
It to the board game since they.
Never seem to understand the rules. And, I'm
Guessing that's how this will go, too."

Reaching a cemetery filled to the brim with floating gummy worms everywhere and other ghostly candies, Spook Lord Fawn had got her shovel ready. It had been, what was it that the youths always said, a hot minute, since she had engaged in kingdom warfare. How long had it been now? She had stopped counting. Kraken accompanied by a hydra girl with buffalo chicken for wings, and some plant demon with a yellow burger dress, she knew this would go like it always would.

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Round One: Search for the magical bone pumpkin.
Winner gets to destroy a total of ten towers.

"You hear that?!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "We'll find that bone pumpkin in these graves and kill the last of your ten towers!"

"We'll see about that," Candy Corn Hare said. "Also, I know your dead teammates are here. Just so you know, foreign ghosts are expelled immediately."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, curses!" the ghost of Sour Yogurt Dragon said, poofing away.

"You cheat!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Now we're outnumbered, thanks a lot!"

"Bro, you literally destroyed half of our towers by blowing junk up in the chasm," Spider Cracker Birdo retaliated. "That's breaking Kingdom Warfare Rules. You're the only cheat here."

"Rules for thee, but not for me!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried. "Whatever, let's get digging! We'll find that bone pumpkin and beat yo sorry old coot lord to the ground!"

Ready? Get digging!

Everyone digging away, a lot of surprises had laid waste for all of the opposing demons. Little birdies underneath the graves, they had been flown across the wind. Youths, what was the world the youngins used these days? Yapping along? That was it, yeah. Spry demons adding their failures to the mix one after another, she shook her head. Ah, youth, how reckless they were.

Dashing towards the center headstone, the Spook Lord Fawn had begun digging up a storm. Skeletal pumpkin soon reached, she rose it upwards towards the sky. Ah, there it was. She swore she had asked Gummy Worms Lop to rearrange the cemetery before the next Kingdom Warfare broke out. Had she forgotten to tell him? Her bad.

The bone pumpkin has been found. Winner: Pumpkin City team.

Towers they get to destroy by default: ten.

"Ugh, Gummy Worms Lop!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried.

"Yes?" Gummy Worms Lop asked.

"I thought we told you to rearrange the cemetery every few months to make sure the bone pumpkin wasn't in the same place!"

"Sorry, gummy worms sickness got me good." He faked a cough as he said such, worms wrapping around him.

"Bro, you can't keep using that excuse every time," Spider Cracker Bro said, crossing his arms across his waist.

"Um, yeah, it's getting kind of old," Candy Apple Woofer said, voice shaking.

"Oh, my lord, like, it's not an excuse, though?" Gummy Worms Lop responded, in an annoyed tone. "It's literally true, look, see? Wrapped around me again!"

"Either way, we, along with milord have told you countless times to rearrange the cemetery every month," Candy Corn Hare reminded him. "Do your job, broski."

"Maybe. Can't promise that." He shrugged as he said such.

Toot, toot, toot.

Next round: costume contest at Corn Maze Hall.
Whichever group matches the theme the closest gets to destroy between five to ten towers.

"A costume contest?!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "This is the most pathetic kingdom warfare I've ever seen! We'll win!"

"That's right, we'll win!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Hurry up and transport us to Corn Maze Hall, you old coot!"

Waving her wand, the pool sleeping pumpkin would not budge. Shrugging, she turned towards the elf archduke. Youthful demon groaning, a blinding light had soon engulfed them all. Soon in front of a stage surrounded by an expansive corn maze, the usual judges had been seated at the panel.

Round Two: costume contest.

Theme: gummy worms.

Slap, slap, slap.

"Uh, you've got to be kidding me!" Chocolate Elf Archduke. "Gummy worms?!"

"Ha, this kingdom is cooked!" Jalapeno Burger Plant shouted. "Bye bye, tower!"

Boom, boom, boom.

Towers unlawfully destroyed: six.

Towers remaining on enemy side: ten.

"You're just asking to be killed, aren't you?" Candy Corn Hare asked. "Violations are punishable by death here!"

"We ain't scared of no penalty!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "See you on the losing stage!"

Timer ticking down, the Spook Lord Fawn headed for the trailer in the deep depths of the maze. Ah, yes, gummy worms. Wait, hold on, gummy worms? What a strange costume theme. She swore the youth were truly beginning to pull her leg more and more lately. Slipping into a one piece gummy worm costume with stickers all over it after Gummy Worms Lop coached the other four and she, everyone else had slowly, but surely, finished getting ready.

Everyone going on stage, she watched as the Sweet and Sour Kingdom did not even try. The lord could hear them growl under their breath as they had gotten zero after zero. She could see the looks on their faces twist. Did they think that this wasn't a serious contest or something and they would just be handed the win? Shameful.

Slithering on the stage like the worm she was burrowed into, she could feel herself almost getting younger. Tens across the board, everyone clapped. Teammates getting similar scores, the sirens were about to screech out into the open once more at full speed. But, she could hear naysayers in the background.

Winner of round two: Pumpkin City.

Towers that can be destroyed: five.

"I told you I knew what I was doing," Gummy Worm Lop said. "E-z theme."

"Stupid worm knows how to be a worm!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "Do over!"

"No do overs," the judge said.

"Why I ougtha!" Chili Dog Kraken snapped her fingers as she said such.

Boom, boom, boom.

Unlawful towers destroyed: eighteen.

Two remain.

Reaching the bastion, Spook Lord Fawn could feel her joints begin to creak. Ah, this old body of hers couldn't hang on much longer today. But, oh well, that didn't matter. This board game will prove to bring her out on top, like it always did. Announcer screaming to start their engines, the tiny little cardboard carriages had been off to the races.

Enemies falling flat on their faces, the lord snapped the reigns. She could feel her energy raise its maximum as her game board steeds pushed her forward. Landing on the advance this space, advance to that space, she laughed a bit under her breath. And, her citizens told her it was time to get a car. Not this old coot!

Finish line across the board merely ten spaces away, her horse whinnied. Racing towards the finish, the victory horns had begun to play. Hopping off her good old wooden stallion, her teammates turned towards one another, shrugging. Final two towers crumbling into nothing, the victory bells sounded.

Starved.

Alert, alert, unlawful destruction of towers reported. Summoning the Apple Cider Reaper.

Slice, slice, slice.

Cleavers taking the Chili Dog Kraken from behind, the sharp shears cut away, in an instant. Bright red pool dropping down onto the floor, one last scream had come out of the former demon's mouth as her soul floated above her. But, the spook lord cared not. Should have followed the rules. Some youngins wouldn't learn until they learned the hard way.

"You'll paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you cheaters!" Chili Dog Kraken's soul shouted. "You didn't fight fair! I'll get revenge!"

Remaining enemies retreating, Spook Lord Fawn turned towards her teammates. Maybe the enemies were right. Things within their kingdom warfare had been kept the same old fashioned way for awhile. She knew how everything worked, was that cheating? Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Who knows?

"Milord, let's go watch over the festival now," Chocolate Elf Archdule cried. "Hurry up, we're late!"

"Archduke," Spook Lord Fawn said.

"What, milord? Didn't I tell you to hurry up?!" Chocolate Elf Archduke asked.

"This old coot thinks it might be time to make some changes to our warfare." She cracked her back as she said such.

"I keep telling Gummy Worms Lop to do his job, but he won't!" Chocolate Elf Archduke cried. "That's why everything was so easy today! Because he forgot!"

"Alright, dearie, I'll talk with him after the festival, okay?" Spook Lord Fawn said in a quiet tone.

"You'd better!"

Watching over the festivities, Spook Lord Fawn let out a tired sigh. No matter how many millennia were to pass, she could never get bored of the Ultimate Scare Festival. Were she to retire one day, she would make it so this never goes away. Returning to her mansion in the late evening, she and the lop had a talk.

Discussing in length to take his job as a member of the city state government seriously, she had gotten the usual whatever. Shrugging, she returned to her bed chamber for the evening. Ah, same as always. But, she couldn't ever bring herself to fire this young demon. He'll mature one day, and look back on this with disdain. They all do.

Snuggling underneath her covers, she could feel herself grow tired immediately. How she missed being able to stay awake passed witching hour like in her youth. But, that time had been far long gone by now. Owls hooting outside, she closed her crusty old eyes. It was time for some shut eye. Tomorrow was a brand new spooktacular day to look forward to. Catching some zes, she let one last thought escape.

She'll continue to rule this kingdom the old fashioned way.

Probably.

---

Next up is Pie Plaza, a really weird kingdom that is very heavily sports based. I'm excited for that one!

 

[Palamon]

Pie Plaza: Sport Capital of the World

---

"Kukuku, welcome, welcome, we have a guest,
It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. You've reached Pie Plaza.
Now, let's skip the formalities, shall we? I
Get the impression you have heard of us before. I
Don't have any reason to believe you don't have an
Ounce of knowledge about
My kingdom, do you? So, greetings, I'm

Chancellor Pecan Pie, but that's a
Horrible title, so call me Pecan Pie Frog. Now, I know I
Easily look like the weakest leader in Satiation Kingdom
Cause I'm the youngest demon to assume the throne, but my
Kingdom, Pie Plaza happens to be in the top ten. I'm placed higher than
Pumpkin City, I don't know how that
Old coot Spook Lord Fawn
Is still running her kingdom! She
Needs to retire and leave everything
To the youth! Look at me, I'm super

Young, under three hundred club, baby!
Oh, and, yes, we're a nonviolent kingdom.
Uh, I'm sure you're
Very much aware that we're the sports capital of the world. Pretty much
Everything here is decided on a ball field. I find violent kingdoms

Repulsive, you see, so
Everything here is decided on
A ball field, our borders are open so anyone
Can join my team! But usually, it's just my envoys and occasionally the neighboring Kingdoms.
Here, piesball is our most popular sport, and sometimes,
Everyone wants to play tartser, or footpie. We harden pies into stone. So,
Don't worry, they're easy to throw and kick.

Please understand that this
Is our culture. The culture I'm
Especially thrilled to keep building. But, I

Probably won't be able to enjoy a game today. I
Likely have to go over to
Ah, I forgot the name of it, it's
Zany and weird. But, I don't know,
At the end of the day, all I ever

Think about is sports, I
Hardly ever think about my other responsibilities. People
End up wondering how I'm able to run

Such a kingdom if I have
Passive interest in everything else.
Oh, for the love of, we're a
Rather lax kingdom, unlike
That annoying Pitaya Land and Cheese World, and especially
Strawberry Kingdom! These three

Can suck an egg, they take everything
All too seriously. And, so does
Pumpkin City. Look, I'm not saying
I don't care about my kingdom outside of
The sports culture. That's not it
At all, but it's a way of
Life here! Always will be a way

Of life. Of course that's probably how I'll
Fumble and fall from the top ten eventually, but you

Should know I'm extremely good
At what I do. And,
That's why I'm
In the top ten in the first place. Unlike Sweet
And Sour Kingdom who has lost almost
Their entire army at this point.
I'm hearing they might attack us next.
Of course, if they choose violence, have
No fear, they'll be smacked in the head with a big metal bat.

Knocked out, mind you, not dead,
I'm not a barbarian, understand?
Now, as I have explained, our Kingdom Warfare
Goes like this, we challenge you to a sports match. It's
Decided by a popular vote
Our people and guests decide in a
Mini quiz bowl, yes,

It's a sport, too. When I was a little demon,
My favorite thing was quiz bowl. Now, whoever

Places first in quiz bowl gets to
Eliminate some towers, our towers are
Called Tart A Rouse. They're big dome shaped pies.
And they can be knocked down easily. We
Never allow direct assault upon our

Pies. Pumpkin City should take notes on making sure direct attacks can't happen!
In our kingdom, our towers are locked up and can't
Ever be assaulted directly unless there's a

Field being used for Kingdom Warfare, and we're
Rather ornery about it! If you find a way to
Open those doors and
Go destroy them, let's just say you will

Not be alive to ever tell that tale. Ah, what?
I'm the leader of this
County, you know. Yes, I know I
Established we're a nonviolent kingdom. We are. But

That doesn't mean we let
Ourselves just get attacked unprompted. We found a way to

Mitigate it, by instilling fear into
Everyone regarding what happens if they
Ever dare to try and destroy our
Towers without going through proper procedure first. And,

You know, everyone should be like me! I'm
Obviously doing something right here!
Uhuhu, in any case, I don't know what I have to do today, I forget. I just have piesball on the mind every second of every day. Can you blame me?"

The pie shaped sun rose upward in the caramel skies of Pie Plaza. The whip cream clouds were moving, the stadiums were brewing with bustling activity that never faded. It was yet another sporty day in the midwestern kingdom in Satiation Kingdom. But, for one particular demon, particular changes would soon rock the boat.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, pie time, pie time.

Obnoxiously loud pie alarm ringing up a storm, a short young dark skinned male demon threw the circular shaped screecher across the room. Dangpienet, did his brother make this thing too loud again? For the love of butterscotch pies, he told him to make these things quieter! Why didn't he ever listen? Some inventor he was.

Throwing the covers back, the young demon's bright strawberry colored frog legs with brown cloud-like spots on them dripped gross damp slime everywhere, especially on his heart shaped tail behind him. Groaning, he wiped up the nasty discretions. Oh, wonderful, it was yet another moisture filled day out there. Why did he have to be born a heart tailed frog demon? He should have been born an elf, a puck, anything else. Whatever, he can't change the circumstances of his existence.

Standing in front of the mirror, his bright red mullet with crusty brown side burns had been as messy as ever. Ah, how terrible, how could he, Pecan Pie Frog, the chancellor of Pie Plaza go about governing his kingdom looking so slovenly? Bright red scleraless eyes having no shine in them whatsoever, he let out a sigh and slit his bangs back. Maybe he should quit this stupid job and have someone else govern this country.

Slipping on a pure white suit adorning pecan pies with frog feet beneath him, Pecan Pie Frog adjusted the collar. He really needed to ask for a better uniform that was less preppy, but why complain? What good would that do? It wouldn't be worth it. He had to look uniform, and professional. The other demons who had demands of him would look down on him if he dressed casual, but such was life.

Closing the door to his sleeping quarters, Pecan Pie Frog moved past another closed bedroom door. Do Not Disturb sign still up and running, he wanted to rip that thing in two. How could his brother still be sleeping at a time like this? It was seven pieclock! He was supposed to awake by now! Does he not know how things works around here? Be up at seven, be ready to leave at eight, they had a kingdom to run, for crying out loud! Sometimes he wondered if he shouldn't have ever asked him to help out with such a task.

Throwing the stupid sign off the door, he rolled up his sleeves. Door locked as usual, he reached for the master key. Turning the hatch the entranceway opened wide. Tiny young demon man snoring away, he threw the covers across the room. Unbelievable, he's still snoring away at a time like this! When will this fool learn it would make them all look bad if the chancellor was late? Little yawn coming out of the other's throat, a pout had come his way.

"Bro, why did you unlock my door?" his brother groaned. "I was having a nice dream!"

Complaining in the corner had been a short young adult dark skinned male demon with a bright red mullet flipped to the opposite side of his own. Lower half a bright orangeish brown, he had a small sideburn near his ears. Big, bright red scleraless eyes that had life's shine in them, his frog hands and legs had not been making his brown tail with a heart at the end of it. He couldn't help but feel jealous over such. How did his young brother, Chess Pie Frog do it? He leaked dumb slime everywhere all the time.

"I've told you a gazilpie times, Chess Pie Frog!" Pecan Pie Frog shouted. "We have to be on time to our duties!" But, such had been met with defiance.

"Who cares if we're a little late?" Chess Pie Frog responded. "I mean, you're the boss. You run this joint."

Defiance coming his way, Pecan Pie Frog could feel a bright red blood strawberry pie boil inside him. As usual, his stupid younger brother didn't get it. Why did he ask him to help again? He didn't know. He never should have. But, why waste his time to say that? It wouldn't do him any good, he would just in circles with him about it.

"I care," Pecan Pie Frog replied, tone annoyed. "Blackberry Tart Hyena cares. Everyone else except you does!"

"Bro, you're always complaining about how running this country outside of the sports culture is the most boring thing ever." His tail swiped behind him as he said such.

Callout coming his way, he wanted to reach for his brother's pajama collar. How dare he say that. But, he kept his hands to himself. So, what if he said that in the moment, and so what if it was true? He heard nothing, that's for sure. He was just imagining it. Maybe he should just spin it that way. He heard nothing of the sort!

"I never said that ever, in my life!" Pecan Pie Frog shouted. "Hurry up and get ready, or we can't have our morning tarts!"

"Okay, okay, sheesh," Chess Pie Frog said, hands on his brother's back. "Get out of my room then!"

Dashing off towards the kitchen, he bit down onto a plain and tasteless raspberry tart. Everything had been so boring and flavorless lately, why bother at all? Brother slipping into the dining room adorning the same suit as him with chess pie printed upon it, his collar had been as messy as his. Groaning as he munched on the rest of his tart, he almost wanted to screech out to fix his collar, but he could not bring himself to. Why were the two of them so alike? He'll never know.

Nothing tart gobbled up into an endless abyss, he opened up his work tablet, a millpie message fluttering on through to come to the main building already, why isn't he here early, he wanted to throw this dumb thing away. As usual, Blackberry Tart Hyena was being uppity again. Sometimes he wondered if he thought he was the boss of this world. Well, he wasn't, that's for sure.

"Ugh, that stupid tart man," Pecan Pie Frog groaned, turning the work tablet screen off.

"What did he say this time?" Chess Pie Frog asked.

"You know what he said!" Pecan Pie Frog screeched. "You should be here early. How many times do I have to tell you that demon despises when we're not there early! Now you're going to make me look bad!"

"It'll be fine, bro, we'll just take the flying saucer, and--." But he had been interrupted as he tried to say such.

"That's your answer to everything! 'It'll be fine, we'll just use the flying saucer.' You baffle me sometimes." He hid the keys behind him, but they soon jiggled.

"Then why are the keys to the flying saucer jingling behind you?" Chess Pie Frog's eyes lowered into a suspicious squint.

Oops.

Busted.

"Gah, whatever, just get in the saucer already!" Pecan Pie Frog screeched.

Dashing out the door, multiple every day citizens greeted him. Various demons saying hello, chancellor, he tried to put on a warm, friendly face, but his eyes twitched as the word kept coming his way. Why did everyone have to greet him as such? How he despised this annoying title. Sure, he was the head of the country, but did he have to reminded about such everywhere he went? Come on, at least treat him like a normal citizen near his house. Was that so much to ask? It was, wasn't it?

Flying tart saucer zooming away across the sky, he could hear the roars of the stadium get louder. Hearing such, he let out a blissful sigh. What a wonderful noise. All the sports fields were filled to the brims, weren't they? What a nice sight to see. This was all that mattered. None of that boring government stuff; none of all that other nonsense mattered either. Sports, and nothing else. But, such was not the life he lived. He had to be in charge after his parents walked away from responsibilities and never returned. Oh well, too late to care about that now.

Cloud soon plopping down, Pecan Pie Frog slumped downward into the flying tart saucer. The rain was going to come at any moment now. Why did he ever bother to think nice things? Everything always seems to get ruined when he does so. Whatever, he guesses, his fault for thinking positive thoughts for even a second! Grumbling, he had soon been interrupted in his pouts.

"Don't worry, bro, this saucer is rainproof!" Chess Pie Frog exclaimed.

"That's not the problem here," Pecan Pie Frog groaned. "If you don't get it, just leave me alone."

Reaching the capitol building, the demon could already hear furious feet tapping about near the entrance. Oh, fantastic, as usual, Blackberry Tart Hyena had a temper. Maybe he should just stage a coup or something. Not like he ever would. Actually, maybe he wanted to. What this demon was thinking was beyond him.

Landing in the parking light with clear steering, he tried to keep his head up high. Oh, great, here it comes. He told him to be here early. Quit settling for being on time, they have a country to run. Blah, blah, blah, carry the fifth. It was always the same thing with this dude. Didn't he know things were fine? Some days, there wasn't anything to even run. Sometimes he wondered if his people even needed him at all.

Standing at the door had been a short, light pink skinned feminine looking demon man with green bangs split slightly into loose edges for some reason. Bright purplish pink ponytail that went down to about his chest, he always wondered why this guy denied feminine appearance and cried he's manly. But, whatever. Not his problem. Hyena ears on the top of his head, his light lavender suit had a blackberry tart printed upon it. Hyena paws pitch black, for whatever reason, he had a long, stringy tail with a blackberry at the end of it.

"Chancellor, I've told ya a millpie times to be early, not on time," Blackberry Tart Hyena complained. "Being on time is being late!"

"Oh, my gooseberry pie, stop calling me Chancellor, it's so annoying when you call me that!" Pecan Pie Frog cried.

"There ya go again with that nonsense running through yer mouth!" Blackberry Tart Hyena cried. "Yer the Chancellor. Chancellor Pecan Pie. Grow up and accept yer responsibilities as the head of the country. Yer parents ain't comin' back."

"You never know, they might come back one day!" Chess Pie Frog cried. "They're just on a journey to another kingdom!"

"When will ya learn they deserted yer butts by now?" Blackberry Tart Hyena asked, palm slapped across his forehead. "Ya know what? Whateva. I ain't care none to reason with ya'll. Hurry up and get inside the building! We got things to discuss!"

Practically dragged inside, Pecan Pie Frog almost wanted to roll his eyes to the sky. There that stupid hyena demon goes again, running his mouth. At this point, he should just take over everything, he wouldn't even care! But why open his pie hole to say that? Speaking such would always end the same.

Stomping into the hall, a tall tan male demon with spiky green hair fading into brown looked about ready to wrestle with someone. Bright green eyes looking about ready to be on fire, the horns on the top of his head looked like they could complete destroy someone with one curb stomp. Green pea colored freckles on his face, he had a white collared suit with a pot pie spitting out peas printed on the hips. Brown heart tail behind him, he groaned. How was this dude at all related to Blackberry Tart Hyena? Pot Pie Demon always claimed they were born from some mixed marriage or something, but no matter how many times he heard this claim, it made less sense every time.

Shaking his head in the corner had been a rather tall dark skinned elfen adult male demon with light green hair split in the center by a weird knotted bun. Brown messy ponytail going down to about his chest, he, too, had sharp teeth. Hyena arms and feet upon him, he had a strange chocolate shaped tail that felt quite out of place in this kingdom. He always wondered if this dude defected from Pumpkin City, or something. Chocolate Elves were native there. White suit all the same with pudding pie on them adorning buck teeth, he couldn't help but feel jealous over how neat and tidy Pudding Pie Elf always looked.

"You know, you two should have been here an hour early," Pot Pie Demon complained. "We gotta lot stuff to go over right now."

"So I wasn't here early, so shoot me," Pecan Pie Frog groaned. He then turned towards his brother. "If this guy here wasn't busy sleeping, we'd be here by now!" But, a sigh had soon come his way.

"Chess Pie Frog, listen kiddo," Pudding Pie Elf sighed, temperamental tone of voice. "I know you two only became adult demons not too long ago, and not that many people care about how you run things, please try and be a little more responsible, okay?"

"Hmph, it's not my fault we gotta run this entire country in our parent's stead since who knows how long now," Chess Pie Frog pouted.

"My point stands," Pudding Pie Elf said, turning his head backwards. "Now, come on, you two, hurry along to the meeting room."

Dragging himself to the meeting room, Pecan Pie Frog gazed at the various pie photos hung up against the wall, grunting. Maybe he should get rid of those stupid things and scrub away whatever was left of those deserters. But, whatever, he hardly had time for that right now, or ever. Who cares anyway? He'd much rather go for a round of piesball right about now.

Seating himself in the leader chair, he drummed his slimy frog fingers on the table. What useless news was he about to be told today? Millpie people signed a petition to rebuild the torn down park, the schools were flooded with slime. Why did he, a chancellor, have to deal with all this nonsense? Everything should be solved by a game of sports instead.

"First up, the Flan Chino Youth Center wants you to visit the new basketpie court they built recently," Pot Pie Demon said, clearing his throat.

"You mean that basketpie court I did not approve of because they didn't have the budget to make it?" Pecan Pie Frog asked, crossing his arms around his waist.

"We funded them to let them continue," Blackberry Tart Hyena said, in an annoyed tone. "Which ya shoulda done from the beginning!"

"I already told you we don't need another baksetpie court!" Pecan Pie Frog said, slamming his hand down on the table. "And, let me guess, they built the saucer tart race course up in the sky, too? Which I did not approve of either, might I add."

"You always say this, and you should know by now that those youth centers hardly care if you say no or not and go and do their own thing anyway," Pudding Pie Elf said in a stern tone. "Regardless of that, we really should go over there and take a look."

"Why should I?" There was a heavy tone of annoyance in his voice.

"What do ya mean, why should ya? Ya have to. You're the chancellor!" Blackberry Tart Demon shouted. "Grow up already."

"Fine, whatever, I'll go," Pecan Pie Frog said with a groan.

"Let's go, then," Pudding Pie Elf said, standing up from his chair. "As for the other thing, it can wait until after."

Scooted out of his chair, Pecan Pie Frog let out a groan. Why was he the chancellor? Everyone was always trying to take his job from him anyway!

->

Two Hours Later.

Incredibly long flying saucer ride filled with yapping upon yaps from his younger brother, Pecan Pie Frog swore his ears were about to fall right off. All Chess Pie Frog ever talked about was his dumb little competitive digital keychain games he had been collecting for the past hundred years. Why did the three hyena demons always have to listen to his nonsense with smiling faces? It just made the flying road trip a whole lot longer.

Flying tart saucer parking in the lot, Pecan Pie Frog wanted to turn around right this instant. Honestly, what point was there in coming here anyway? Why did he need to check on this new youth center that he didn't approve of in the first place? They already had a basketpie court! Two, even. It's not like the youths couldn't use the ones that already existed prior. He didn't understand these people at all.

"Why do you look like you ate a sour lemon pie, bro?" Chess Pie Frog asked. "You need to look alive!"

Unpuckering his lips, he turned his head off towards the opposite direction. As if he wanted to be here. Everything would be better if no one needed him to look in on things, and he could just be on the piesball court all day long! That's how everything should be, but no, of course it wasn't, he had to run this government. Ho hum, everything was better when he was nothing more than his parent's right hand demon.

Doors slammed all the way open, a large, educational building soon awaited him. Classrooms aplenty, he could not help but feel a chunk of pie be cut out from his head. Since when did this youth center double as a sports school? But, he threw out such thoughts to bat. Ah, whatever. This had nothing to do with him anyway. He shouldn't even be here right now.

Super tall demon wearing a suit with coattails and adorning a monocle and crumpet cookie wings, he almost wanted to wrestle this dude to the ground. Someone from the Nut Shores ordered the construction of this youth sports center? Who died and made him in charge of this? They're not even from here! Whatever, not like it mattered.

"Sir Chancellor Pecan Pie, pleasure to have you here today," the crumpet winged demon said, bowing his head. "We have been working hard on the basketpie court and the flying saucer tart racetrack in the sky. Would it be alright if we trouble you to inspect it for us?"

Polite demand coming his way, Pecan Pie Frog almost wanted to turn around. That was why he was called here? Come on now, anyone can inspect this basketpie court. He had more important things to get done right now. But, he knew he didn't have a choice but to accept. If he didn't, Blackberry Tart Hyena would blow him down the pie hole. Best to avoid that.

"Kill the formalities, just chancellor will do just fine," Pecan Pie Frog forced himself to say. "I'll take a look, but you'll be taking me up to the sky, got it?"

"Of course sir, that is no problem for me." He led the way as he said such.

Hearing a little digital device playing loud beeping noises from behind him, Pecan Pie Frog grit his teeth hard. Turning towards the back of him, his infernal brother's face glowed as his stupid little pet toy had been ready to eat up all the electricity of this place. Oh, he didn't look professional, huh? He needed to grow up? Look at his brother, playing a game while at a meeting. Hearing ferocious whispers, he turned away.

"Chess Pie Frog, ya better put that dumb toy of yers away and pay attention!" Blackberry Tart Hyena whispered.

"But, I'm in the middle of a competition right now," Chess Pie Frog fired back.

"Pause it?" Pot Pie Demon whispered. "You're making us look bad."

"Why do all you older adult demons always say that? 'You can pause it!' No, I can't. I'm literally in a live match right now?" Chess Pie Frog asked in a defiant tone.

"Kiddo, we've told you countless times now to not play games while on the job," Pudding Pie Elf whispered. "Finish that match as soon as possible and put that thing away."

Everyone bickering behind him, the chancellor's shoulders grew cold. Look at Pudding Pie Elf enabling him by letting him continue to play his dumb little game. Why did he ever ask his young kin to help him run this government? He was less interested than he was sometimes! Whatever, not his problem. Let the others deal with this.

Soon reaching a gigantic basketpie court with high quality equipment aplenty, Pecan Pie Frog's jaw almost dropped. How did this school even afford to build this? How much budget did they even borrow? Alright, he changed his mind, this place was radical. He shouldn't have ever disapproved of it at any given point.

"Very impressive," Pecan Pie Frog said almost stumbling on his words. "What technology did you use to build such advanced basketpie courts?"

"We contacted Countess Peanut Sprite from our home kingdom to help build this with her powers," the butler demon said. "She's very efficient at getting things done with a flick of a wrist."

Hearing such, the chancellor almost wanted to take back his praise right about now. They just outsourced the work to someone else, huh? Pitiful. But, he zippered the lip. Don't waste his time to say anything about it, it would do him no good anyway. Leaving the basketpie court behind, a small flan shaped hoverboard had been holstered underneath his sticky feet.

Reaching a rather intricate flying saucer tart racetrack, the chancellor let out a sigh. Let him guess, Countess Peanut Sprite assisted them in making this too, didn't they? His parents should have never allowed for foreign adversaries to do as they pleased here. What if another kingdom tried to attack from above? Not to mention, flight traffic was about to get so much worse? Shut this stupid thing down.

"A lot of the kids here really wanted a flying tart saucer race course up here," the butler demon said. "So, I built one for them."

No mention of foreign adversaries, the chancellor could feel his heart soften like a melting yogurt pie. Eh, he supposed he gets it. Everyone was always asking him, Mr. Chancellor sir, where's the flying tart saucer racetrack? Mr. Chancellor sir, please make a flying tart sauce racetrack! He had his own dreams of that when he was a little spry impling himself. Couldn't blame them.

"Go ahead and host races up here, I'll see to it that it gets fully funded," Pecan Pie Frog said in a proud tone, but such had soon been interrupted.

"Uh, yer kidding, right, chancellor?" Blackberry Tart Hyena whispered. "We ain't got no funds fer that."

"Oh, gee, and who was the one who went and funded these projects in the first place knowing we hardly have the money for it, hmm?" Pecan Pie Frog bit back. "I'll figure it out. Quit backseat ruling." He then turned towards the butler. "Consider this project approved to go forward."

"Thank you so much Sir Chancellor Pecan Pie," the butler demon said bowing his head.

Returning towards the educational center's entranceway, Pecan Pie Frog tapped his sticky feet upon the ground. Brother still playing his stupid digital keychain games, he was ready to swipe away every single one of them. As usual, he wasn't engaged in any of this at all! He really needed to kick him out of this governing body. But, that hardly mattered right now, there were other matters to attend to.

"That's done and dusted," Pecan Pie Frog said to the party of three who was actually engaged. "What's the other thing you all left out and failed to mention to me?"

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

But, an awkward silence soon followed as a rather familiar bell tooted. Oh, great, someone had challenged them to Kingdom Warfare now? Was this the other thing Pudding Pie Elf was supposed to tell him? He should have mentioned that first instead of going to the Youth Sports Center! Awesome, just swimming. He swore he told these dudes a millpie times by now that news about attacks came first!

"I think you can guess," Pot Pie Demon said. "Sweet and Sour Kingdom challenged us to a piesball match."

"Those rulebreakers?!" Pecan Pie Frog cried. "I've you a hundpie times now to never accept challenges from them!"

"They demanded we do, and threatened to blow up the entire country if we don't," Pudding Pie Elf said, sighing. "So, we did without telling you."

Hyena trio backseat ruling once again, Pecan Pie Frog folded his slimy palm into a fist. Oh his gooseberry pie, who died and let these demons decide everything for him? Outrageous. They could have said no and put up the steel borders to block them out, but no, they had to give into their demands! Nice going, Pot Pie Demon, smooth moves Pudding Pie Elf, this is all their fault.

"But, like, doesn't Sweet and Sour Kingdom only have two surviving members left of their main line of defense?" Chess Pie Frog asked, tapping away on his dumb toy. "They hardly stand a chance against us, don't they?"

"If ya looked up from yer little keychain fer just a second, ya'd know that they went over to Blueberry House and yoinked some of their gangtas to reach a team of nine!" Blackberry Tart Hyena cried.

"Oh," Chess Pie Frog replied, dumbfounded. "We're cooked."

"We're not cooked, shut your pie hole!" Pecan Pie Frog cried, running. "Hurry up, and head to the quiz bowl tv station now!"

Running at lightning speed, the chancellor grit his teeth. Oh, this was just great, just wonderful. That stupid Sweet and Sour Kingdom had teamed up with some annoying, violent brutes from Blueberry House. Their gooseberry pies were so cooked. Speeding up his run into a hop, he could feel the spikes ready to pop him off any second now.

What a pleasant day this was turning out to be.

Pleasantly horrible!

***

"Would you look at that, these
Horrible brutes went
And teamed up with Blueberry House,
The most save kingdom in

All of Satiation Kingdom. They're a

Bunch of lawless gang members who don't know anything. I don't even know much about their leader. This governed
Under? I can't even say governed, it's a literal gang.
Now, it's headed by someone named Blueberry Lizard Mother. I
Can hardly understand why she runs
Her kingdom like it's a gang. I heard that place was

Once a much less violent place, but it
Feels like in the past hundreds years or so that change.

Blueberry House and Pie Plaza used to be on friendly terms. Now, we're
Rivals. I booted anyone who migrated here from that kingdom pretty early into my reign.
Ugh, and here they are, ready
To cause even more problems for me. I should have
Expected this, though, I guess.
Since no one tells me anything until it's too late all the time!

Every single time someone challenges us to Kingdom
Warfare, people decide to leave out the most important details? Come on, I know my governance can be on the lazy side. But, I'm the chancellor. Quit leaving me in the dark!"

Soon entering the television station, the bright lights threatened to burn his face into oblivion. Covering his eyes, Pecan Pie Frog groaned. Ugh, who was in charge of the lights here, huh? Turn those burning suns down! Everyone huddling, a horrible decision had soon been made that would soon pour salt all over the tart.

"Chess Pie Frog, you'll be doing the trivia game," Pudding Pie Elf said.

"Huh, me?" Chess Pie Frog asked. "Why me?"

"If ya didn't have yer head so buried in yer little game, you'd know we told you the other day that yer representing us in the quiz bowl!" Blackberry Tart Hyena exclaimed. "Don't make us look dumb out there, got it?!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare, Start.

Round One: Quiz Bowl.

Two Demons will answer trivia questions. Whoever answers the most correctly gets to destroy ten Tart A Rouse.

Green skinned plant person sitting on the opposite podium, Pecan Pie Frog crossed his arm in a crisscross sitting position. Sweet and Sour Kingdom was going down. Why did they have to send his inattentive brother out on the stage? He's going to get all the quiz questions wrong and have half their towers destroyed! Wonderful.

"Welcome to Pie Quiz Bowl!" an announcer said on a podium in the corner. "In this game, you will be asked twenty questions, and whoever answers the most will get to destroy the amount of towers corresponding to the correct amount of questions answered! Let's geeeeeeeeeeet started!"

"Go, go, Pie Plaza, go go!" The crowd cheered.

"Better shut up, because I'm a trivia master!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried.

"We'll see about that, 'cause so am I!" Chess Pie Frog cried.

"Question one," the announcer asked. "Who is the original founder of Satiation Kingdom?"

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

"Pomegranate Juice Goddess!" Chess Pie Frog announced.

Ding, ding, ding.

"That's correct!" the announcer cried. "Two points!"

Brother soon getting question after question correct at lightning speed, Pecan Pie Frog almost fell out of his chair. Spicy plant demon not getting a single buzzer in, he didn't know whether to be impressed or terrified over his kin's encompassing knowledge on Satiation Kingdom's history. He slept through history class when he was a wee impling still in school! But, that was the problem, wasn't it? Whatever.

"Question twenty," the announcer cried. "Who used to run Pie Plaza?"

Hearing such question blasted out onto live television, the chancellor almost wanted to jump up and knock this announcer out. Who dared to asked such a question? He ought to run this man out of town for this! Unbelievable, having the nerve to broadcast that for millions of demons to hear! Get real right now!

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

"Queen and King Apricot Pie," Chess Pie Frog answered sighing. And, as he said such, the crowd clapped.

"That's right, congratulations, Pie Plaza has won the trivia challenge!" the announcer cried.

Winner: Pie Plaza.

Towers that get to be destroyed automatically: Twenty.

Backup towers added to the piesball court for the opposing team: four.

Running to the piesball field, the chancellor cracked his slimy knuckles. This match would be over before he knew it, wouldn't it? Maybe, in the end, this was just a waste of time. Was there even any point? They had already basically won. Oh, well, he could go for a round of piesball right about now. Putting on a bright white cap, he slicked it backwards.


It was time to pie ball.

Backup piesball teammates coming in at lightning speed, the chancellor hissed at the Blueberry House gangsters flooding on in. But, he swore he could feel a ghostly presence as well. Oh, great, these losers from Sweet and Sour Kingdom dragged their dead friends here, didn't they? How wonderful. Just what he needed right now.

"Let me go up to bat, I can strike them out and win this in one turn, watch me," Pecan Pie Frog said, rolling up his sleeves.

"Sure, kiddo," Pudding Pie Elf said.

"I have no objections," Pot Pie Demon said, nodding. "I mean, we'll only need to score four runs since we knocked down all their towers already."

"Yeah, yeah, whatevs, I don't care, I'll be on the outfield if ya need me," Blackberry Tart Hyena said, turning his head towards the opposite direction.

"I'll be the catcher," Chess Pie Frog said.

Objective: first person to score four runs wins.

"Pecan Pie Frog is up to bat!" the announcer cried.

"Hah, you think you're so great at this game do ya?" Buffalo Wings Hydra scoffed. "Watch as I strike you out with this pie!"

Stepping up to the middle of the diamond, Pecan Pie Frog took a deep breath. Focus on hitting a home pie, that way they can crush these stupid invaders down to the ground. Announcer looking ready to scream once again, he placed the bat into a swinging position. It's go time. Sock it to him!

"And, the opponent winds up a pitch, and the pie is flying!" the announcer cried.

Rocky pie coming straight towards him, the chancellor prepared himself. This hydra sure knew how to throw a fast pitch. But, he couldn't allow himself to get impressed by this dumb dragon! Watching as she turned her head towards the Tart A Rouse, he knew he had to hurry and hit this thing with the grandest slam of them all.

Pie within a short distance of him, he positioned his legs it was time. Swinging, he watched as the stone fly was going, going, and gone. Knowing that was his chance, he made a run for it. Stupid gangsters looking ready to yoink the tart bases from underneath him, he knew it was time to slide upon the ground like his life depended on it.

Skidding on the artificial turf, he could hear the announcer scream the bases were loaded. Kin and his teammates dashing towards the last base, he broke out into a sweat. Faster, go faster, there was hardly any time left to waste. Dirt decorating his suit, he let out a tiny laugh. Now, this was more like it. This is how this kingdom should be run! Sports, and nothing else.

Reaching home base, he watched as the scoreboard had soon read four, huffing and puffing, he wiped the sweat from the brow. Four backup Tart A Rouse crashing down, he brushed his slimy palms together. Dare to challenge the sports master, then get wrecked! Screeches about a home pie shaking the stadium, everyone in the benches clapped up a storm.

"Home pie!" the announcer cried. "Pie Plaza has scored four runs!"

"You're kidding?! There's cheating afoot!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried.

"Extend the game now!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried.

Starved.
Opposition removed from the premises kicking and screaming that they'll be back, and they'll win next time, Pecan Pie Frog rolled his eyes. What a bunch of sore losers, they didn't even win either round of their Kingdom Warfare! And, they expected him to take their threat seriously? Were these demons real?

Holding one final meeting back at headquarters, a lot of screeches about telling him about kingdom warfare first had practically melted all the hyena demon's eardrums clean off. But, as usual, they proceeded to ignore all of such and backseat rule him. Groaning, he stomped off back home. Did everyone have to tell him what to do because of his approach on things? Unreal, he ought to fire everyone!

Brother doing nothing but play his stupid little keychain game the entire way home on the flying tart saucer, he almost wanted to toss that device out the window. But, he couldn't bring himself to do so. Whatever, he did a good job today, he guessed, answering all those quiz bowl questions correctly. He'll let it slide, for now.

Closing his bedroom door behind him, he could hear those annoying beeps continue on and on deep into the night. Letting his pillow swallow him whole, he let out a groan. He really needed to douse that thing in water. When would his brother pay attention to the world around him? The others were trying to backseat govern.

Shrugging, he curled up into a ball. Whatever, it's not like he wanted to be a chancellor anyway. Why couldn't their parents come back from wherever in the world they abandoned them to? It's not like he ever asked for this job in the first place. Thoughts soon drifting away, he let out a loud froggy snore, in an instant.

Whatever, it's not like he had a choice but the be a chancellor anyway.

---

lmfao, well, anyway, next is Pickle Land, that one will be fun, too.

 

[Palamon]

Pickle Land: Top Model Femme Fatale

---

"Welcome, welcome, you have reached the rich, diverse land of Pickle Land! We have
Every single biome you can imagine. Our big
Land here in the northern
Corner of Satiation Kingdom won't disappoint you!
Oh, right, I should probably go ahead and introduce
Myself. Greetings, my name is Dill Pickle Goddess. I am the leader of this country.
Eh, so I founded this land quite a long

Time ago because I love pickles! They're delicious, don't you see?
Once upon a time, I was a little impling born in the wrong body, and I left my home kingdom in search of

Pickles. And, you know what I found? A rich biome of pickles
In the north of Satiation Kingdom! I
Claimed this land as my own and made it my
Kingdom! And over the years, we've come this big kingdom hosting a
Lot of different kinds of demons. Unlike Pie Plaza who barely has any different demon races! We have
Every kind of race here, so we value a

Little thing called beauty.
And this week, it's the big competition of models.
Now, as the goddess of this land, I have a team of
Demons that's always helping me out. Most of them, aside from one

Is a pickle lover, just like me!

And, we came together to shape
My land in my vision. I have a whole cast of demons participating in this pickle model contest. And,

Yes, I participate, too. Do I always win?
Of course not! Bias isn't allowed!
Unlike in Pumpkin City where that old grandma who definitely
Rigs her competitions in her favor. Loser old

Bag, haha! By the way, we're a violent kingdom, just so you know. Our Kingdom Warfare is hands on. We have to destroy towers and defeat
Everyone on the battlefield,
As well as grill a total of five
Ultimate pickles on
The griddle. What? That's weird?
It's not weird, it's how our kingdom works!
Fufufu, what did you think we're a nonviolent Kingdom.
Ugh, we're not a bunch of
Little pansies like Cheese World?

Haha, just kidding, we're tight with Cheese World.
Of course, I think their leader
Should get a bit more on
The violent side to protect her kingdom, but listen, I

Don't judge. If she wants to run her kingdom the wrong way, I won't say anything!
I'm somewhere in between violent and nonviolent. Unlike that
Lousy kingdom Strawberry Kingdom that's fully violent!
Look, that kingdom is full of brutes!

Perhaps I should preface this that my kingdom is the best here! Okay, actually
I'm in the middle of the top ten, but
Come on, I'm still the best Satiation
Kingdom has to offer, I mean,
Look at the facts! I have pretty much
Every biome you can imagine, doesn't

Get much better than that, now does it?
Our land is the best that Satiation Kingdom has to offer.
Don't ever dare to suggest the opposite. I'm the Prima
Donna, understand, and the
Entire rest of the world is beneath me! I could
Step on them. I'll
Squish them all beneath my feet!

Haha, everyone is so far beneath me, you know,
My Kingdom should be number one, not Strawberry Kingdom.
Mine is better than everyone else's! I don't know

Why I'm in the middle, but you know, that's
All wrong. You know honestly,
Sweet And Sour Kingdom should be taking
Notes! I hear they have been attacking all of the
Top ten kingdoms lately! Am I next?

Ehehe, if I'm next, then these little
Xeno weirdos are about to be crushed in the
Palm of my hand! Because they're honestly so pathetic! They've lost almost
Everyone in their army!
Can you believe it? And despite all
That, they plan to keep on going!
I'm honestly pretty baffled by their resolve. They
Need to give up, honestly. All their remaining teammates are
Gonna die anyway! Hmm!

Maybe I should finish the job and put an
End to this! I mean, let's be real here,

They're pathetic as pathetic comes!
Of course I pity them, but only a

Little! It's their own fault they're down
On their luck! It's their
Own fault that they have barely any people left in their army! Their
Kingdom has nearly collapsed, so I have no idea how they're still in the game! But,

Let's change that! It's time to put an end to this
Idiotic kingdom run by a bunch of morons!
Kukuku, can't win a single battle? Their revenge is pointless!
Everything about their silly little revenge is pointless! So,

This time, I'll be the one to eliminate them all.
Hahaha, losers.
I'm at the top of
Satiation Kingdom, well, not yet, but I should be!"

The bright green juicy knobbled tasty pickled sun had begun to rise over the diverse biome kingdom known as Pickle Land in the northern corners of Satiation Kingdom. The rivers were flowing, the multiple class of demons were thriving, the television stations were ready to start running, and, for one particular godly demon was ready to slay the runway and all.

A short, feminine appearing demon with sharp purple bangs and light green, juicy pickle like tips at the end that went down to about her shoulders cracked her cuticle tipped fingers like she was ready to pop open a bottle of carbonated cucumber juice. Today was the day. Top model day. Forget running this dumb country, her place was on the runway. Throwing her crusty bed covers away, she made a run for it off towards the lavatory.

Staring back in the mirror had been a crispy, beautiful young demon that had been eye candy for all. Half violet, half emerald eyebrows as shiny as ever, her amethyst eyes with a green pupiled pickle like center were god's gift to the world. Ah, wait, she was this world's goddess. Never mind. She was a gift, a present for all! The same as usual.

Spritzing for a moment, a long flowing light purple dress with various short along pickles on the skirt sparkled like the stars in the sky. Small dill pickle tail flopping behind her, she braided her hair upward. But, she had soon realized some key element had been missing. Hmph, her sparkly makeup palette, where did she put it? No matter, She, the beautiful Dill Pickle Goddess will just summon the lesser pretty to grab it for her. Why make a goddess get off her tushie to get it herself?

"Pickled Cucumber Kappa, I need you here right now!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried.

Running at lightning speed straight to her lavatory had been a short green skinned male demon with spiky white hair that faded into medium shades of green, a bowl shaped rounded out his cranium rather nicely. Pitch black shirt with his name on it, Pickled Cucumber Kappa adorning a cucumber in the middle that had horns upon it, his corduroys were pure white. No shoes to speak of, she gagged. Could this bro cover his ugly webbed feet with socks, or something? Stinky, hideous!

"Why are ya yellin' for me so early in the mornin'?" Pickled Cucumber Kappa asked. "Do ya need advice er somethin' on how to look more girly again?"

"Huh, no? I'm plenty pulling that off now that that's taken care of! Unlike Blue Cheese Empress!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "Unlike her, I don't need a million different lifelines to look like a hot bod femme fatale!"

"Mi Hermosa Diosa, that's kinda rude, don't ya think?" Pickled Cucumber Kappa asked. "Yer a fruit demon, ya know. Yer race ain't have as much of that stuff that determines what's a dude and what's a hot smokin' lady." He nibbled on a juicy cucumber as he said such. "How could ya pick on Blue Cheese Empress who needs a couple things to make her feel all comfortable in her own skin and stuff?"

Dumb little kappa bringing up the differences between the imperfect empress and her, Dill Pickle Goddess let out a loud scoff. He was bringing up her point exactly! Those cheese demons needed to evolve better if they ever thought they could beat her out on her smoking femme fatale bod here. Whatever, wasting time here! Where was her sparkly makeup kit?

"You're right, she'll never be as perfect as me at being a smoking lady!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "Now, hurry up and go find my sparkly pickle makeup kit, chop chop!"

"Mi Hermosa Diosa," Pickled Cucumber Kappa sighed. "Why do ya need that anyway? Aren't ya, like, going to be on stage on the runway today? Yer gonna have to redo yer makeup for the show, I reckon."

"Did I ask for your opinion, hmm? No! Hurry up and find my makeup!" She stamped her feet on the ground as she said such.

"Aight, I'll go look fer it, but like," Pickled Cucumber Kappa responded. "Ya need to hire more ladies who care bout this stuff, don't you think?"

"You know I tried that and neither Pickled Radish Mermaid nor Pao Tsai Panda care a lick about modelling and beauty!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "Now, hurry up and go get my makeup palette, you're wasting my time!"

Dim little kappa leaving the room, Dill Pickle Goddess spritz on a little perfume. Room practically shining, she let out a giggle. Honestly, Blue Cheese Empress could sock it to her because she was superior woman here! If Cheese World and Pickle Land were to go to war tomorrow, she would topple the floor with this kingdom in no time flat! She should be at the top of Satiation Kingdom. If it weren't for those stupid kingdoms above her, she'd have been number one. Ha, maybe after this fashion show today, she'd declare war on all those bottom feeding top five!

Hearing another set of feet barreling through, the goddess let out a groan. What's worse than one not fashion forward dudes? Two of them. Maybe Pickled Cucumber Radish is right, she should hire other female demons who cared about fashion to be in her main line of defense. Well, too late for that now, wasn't it? She was stuck with all these losers.

"Mi amor," a tenor voice said, huffing. "We found your sparkly makeup palette."

Holding out her makeup palette had been a tall goat man with spiky green hair that faded into grey that barely went below his his chin and a long shamrock colored goatee nearly flailing around unwanted. Light yellow eyes looking radioactive, she looked away from them, like usual. Ugh, what a hideous man. Why did she hire him again? Adorning a light green robe with goat horned rice balls, she could feel the regret piling in again. Why did she let this dude on her cabinet? He never shaved a day in his life, disgusting.

"Get your slimy hands off of it, Umeboshi Onigiri Goat!" Dill Pickled Radish cried. "I see you didn't shave your goatee again like I asked you a million times!"

"Oh? And, what if I like it, hmm?" Umeboshi Onigiri Goat asked, streaking his goatee, disgusting. "I'm keeping it, and there's nothing you can do about it because you can't fire me. You swore me into the governing body for life, remember?"

Reminder coming her way like an unwanted baby goat's birth, the goddess could feel steam puffing through her ears. Why did she ever swear this ugly loser demon in for life again? If she could go back in time and reverse that decision, she would have thirty times over! Like, this dude was so ugly. He didn't put any effort into his looks at all! Pitiful. Swiping the palette from him, she reached for the mascara brush.

"Why don't you two lazy bums watch what looking beautiful is all about?" Dill Pickled Goddess cried. "And, while you're at it, go get the girls!"

"Mi amor, you know that during this time of day, Pickled Radish Mermaid needs to--" Umeboshi Onigiri Goat tried to say, but was interrupted.

"Whatever, just, go get her and lather up the tub, then she won't die from lack of water, or something!" Dill Pickle Goddess said in a demanding tone.

"Yer not going to have much luck with Pao Tsai Panda, ya know she goes through the expenses logs in the morning," Pickled Cucumber Radish said, sighing.

"Did I ask? I don't care! Go get her, too!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "These two need to learn how to look more like hot boded femme fatales!"

Placing down her makeup palette, the goddess let out steam through her nose. Her dumb little cabinet was at it again with worrying about their own problems. The only problem here was they weren't pretty enough! She'll teach them how to run this world with pizzazz. Either look like a gazillion pickollars or don't waste everyone's time!

Faucet soon running, a short young mermaid with bright yellow hair adorning orange ribbons had soon been plopped into the tub, orange shirt and all. Pink portion of her hair not pulled up going to about her shoulders, the left side of her hair had been a low pink braid fading into orange. Diseased orange eyes with three pupils, she had a disgusting, radioactive mermaid tail. Pickled Radish Mermaid, as ugly as ever, she sees. She shouldn't have eaten that poisoned pickled radish, maybe she's be prettier!

"Why did you drag me here, Umeboshi Onigiri Goat?" Pickled Radish Mermaid groaned. "I need seawater to soak in right now, not a bathtub."

"It would seem Mi Amor wants you to learn a thing or two about beauty, and she won't budge on that," Umeboshi Onigiri Goat sighed.

"Ugh, Mi Amor, I told you that I don't care about beauty!" Pickled Radish Mermaid cried. "Don't drag me here this early unless it's for important stuff!"

"Ugh, I've told her the same thing a million times!" Pao Tsai Panda cried. "You're supposed to be the god of this land, the head face of Pickle Land, mind you, and all you care about is looking pretty! Do your job!"

Complaining in the corner had been an annoyingly tall panda demon lady with bright scarlet red hair that had been a light shade of green at the bottom that went down to about her waist. Adorning a blue shirt that exposed her busty figure, she tried to contain her disgust. Put those big badoinkers away, why didn't she? Large square pickle tail behind her, she had such fruit laid upon her shirt as well. Hmph, women with big knockers were the ugliest of all!

"Pao Tsai Panda, learn to be more conservative, why don't you?" Dill Pickle Goddess complained.

"Don't get all angry at me just because you can't grow a pair!" Pao Tsai Panda cried.

"I don't need big knockers to look prettier than you! I'm already the hottest goddess around!" Dill Pickle Goddess fired back. "In fact, those zits of yours make you ugly. No one will ever marry you if you flop around with those gross things!"

"I--. Whatever, I don't care what you think, I'm going back to treasury!" Pao Tsai Panda cried, stomping away.

Scoffing, Dill Pickle Goddess put on her mascara. Who cares what the ugly panda thought anyway? She hardly understood beauty at all! All she cared about was work, work, work, no wonder she was so hideous to look at! She could use a little pizzazz in her life! Spritzing on the eyeshadow, she let out a haughty laugh her eyelids glistened like the morning sun. Look at her, so wonderful and gorgeous like always!

Foundation dabbed a little here, blush dabbed a little there, she plopped on the bright green lip gloss, everything perfect, she did a little pose in the mirror. Turning her head towards the ugly mermaid, a sinister grin had been upon her face. Time to teach this ugly little demon how a beautiful hot bod femme fatale should have looked!

"See? This is how it's done, Pickled Radish Mermaid! This is what beautiful looks like!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried, pointing at her face.

"I don't care about beauty!" Pickled Radish Mermaid cried. "Why can't you be a normal leader who cares about things that matter, like, I don't know? Addressing people's concerns! You know, there's a gas leak in the oceans, and--." But, she had soon been interrupted.

"That can fix itself up!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "You expect me to care about every single issue that plagues this nation? I can't fix everything!"

"Every year around the top model competition, you always do this!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "You always let things pile up because all you care about is being beautiful! If this keeps up, another kingdom will attack us, and you won't be able to do anything to defend them because of the toxic cesspool that is the sea right now!"

Unimportant problem brought to her attention once again, Dill Pickle Goddess waved her wrist in a haughty manner. Why should she have to deal with something so ugly as that? The sea is Pickled Radish Mermaid's domain, not hers! It's not like a little bit of bad bubbles would break the entire fabric of the universe, or anything! Not only that, no one would be stupid enough to attack her kingdom during peak model season!

"No one would dare attack us right now! No one would be stupid enough to!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. But, there had been a brief moment of silence.

Ugly lot staring at one another dragging out the nothingness, Dill Pickle Goddess flipped her hair. Hmm, did they have nothing to say to that? Of course they didn't, because she was right like always! No one would be dumb enough to declare Kingdom Warfare upon Pickle Land at a time like this, and anyone who might have been would be deader than the old kingdom she defected from! What hideous way of thinking these three had.

"Do ya seriously not know, Mi Hermosa Diosa?" Pickled Cucumber Kappa asked, slimy palms around his waist. "Sweet And Sour Kingdom is trying to get revenge on all the kingdoms for the death of their leader. An' that includes us."

"Who cares about them? I'll just finish the job and kill the rest of them!" Dill Pickle Goddess exclaimed in a haughty tone.

"Mi Amor, they hired some backups from Blueberry House," Umeboshi Onigiri Goat added. "You're getting a little cocky, don't you think? You really need to eat a humble pie."

Stupid ugly goat telling her to humble herself, the goddess almost wanted to throw this hideous demon against the wall. Who did he think he was telling her to dial it down? She was right! No one would be stupid enough to attack her precious kingdom during peak model season. And, anyone stupid enough to do so would be wiped out.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

Tapping her cuticles upon the table, she added on the finishing touches. Hair gel glistening like the moon, her eyes sparkled in the mirror once again. Amazing, now, she was perfect. And, no one could possibly argue otherwise! Complaints coming her way that she had put on too much, she wanted to rip apart these wretched losers. Who were they to tell her what's too much and what isn't?

"Does it look like I care what you lot think about my makeup?" Dill Pickle Goddess asked in an annoyed tone. "I don't, thank you very much!" As she said such, she stood up from her chair. "Now, hurry up, go get Pao Tsai Panda, and get the Grand Picklemobile Ready!"

Ugly demons running out of the lavatory, the goddess cracked her knuckles. She'll show them all today what beautiful looks like when she wins this entire thing and then some! None of them understood beauty at all. They could learn a thing or two by participating in the top model competition of the year!

->

Thirty Minutes Later

Picklemobile suffering a few issues along the way, Dill Pickle Goddess wolfed down an entire barrel of kosher dills as her ugly little cabinet bickered with one another the entire ride over. It wasn't her fault that the limousine's tires needed to be changed out, blame Pao Tsai Panda for that one! She was the one in charge of the imported cars and vans here, not her!

Ugly goat driving the sparkly wheels, she soon wolfed down yet another barrel of pickles while they were hot. She could never get enough of these juicy, fruity goodness. The ones pickled from cucumbers, mwah. Lip smacking, beautiful creatures. She needed to go over to the farmlands and demand a new batch on the way to the television station!

"Drive by the farms before we head to the station!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried.

"No, Mi Amor," Umeboshi Onigiri Goat cried. "That's on the other side of the road. I can't turn around."

"Who said you can talk back to me?!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "Who is the goddess of this kingdom? I am!"

"Mi Hermosa Diosa, you have plenty of pickles in here already," Pickled Cucumber Kappa sighed. "Let's not bother the farmers while they're workin' so hard to produce yer stock fer you, kay?"

"Uh, besides, the water is toxic right now, remember?" Pickled Radish Mermaid cried. "You can forget your juicy pickles for, like, the next month or so!"

"Who asked you? You don't know anything about the ocean!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "Sit in your dumb little pool in the back of the limo and shushy!"

"Ugh, you're so annoying today, eat a humble pie, why don't you?!" Pao Tsai Panda cried. "If you don't, you only have yourself to blame when everything blows up back in your face!"

Stupid goat refusing to budge on turning around, Dill Pickle Goddess reached for another barrel of kosher dill. Nibbling away as hard as she possibly could, she let out a loud hmph. Who cares about the toxic ocean? It's not like her bastion was near the lakes and sea! Pickled Radish Mermaid was stupid, as usual. Grow a brain in there! That toxic radish must have deleted it. Look at this dumb rock making up the dumbest nonsense!

Television station dragging ever so closer, she spritz on a little more perfume. She bet she smelled like a million dills right about now! All those other ugly models are going to lose this entire thing, mark her words! She'll be the only model to ever receive a Golden Cucumber. All those other times she failed to win one didn't count. She would be the top model this time around!

But, as the limo pulled into the back parking lot, she could hear her ugly cabinet bicker to one another about a ton of stupid things. Problem this, problem that, blah, blah, blah. Who cared about the toxic sea? Who cared about the shortage of this and that? She sure didn't. Wait until next week for it to matter, like hello? All that mattered was the runway.

"Could you keep all those ugly unimportant problems quiet until after the Top Model competition?" Dill Pickle Goddess asked, rolling her eyes.

"Why don't you care that the sea is full of gas and toxic waste?!" Pickled Radish Mermaid cried. "I already told you a few times now that we need to clean up the sea! Why can't you listen to me for once?"

"Because it'll clean itself up!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried out.

"Ugh, this again! You said that last year, too, and look where that got us!" Pao Tsai Panda cried. "The sea can't filter itself out anymore since the advent of pollution from immature implings! I can't believe you don't care! You always go on and on about beauty this, pretty that, well, the oceans are ugly right now. Why can't you be a competent leader and fund a program to clean the seas ups?"

"You think you understand my kingdom better than me? You don't!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "The seas will clean themselves up, so both of you can shut your traps about this issue, got it?"

"Mi Hermosa Diosa, ya really gotta stop dismissing this," Pickled Cucumber Kappa whispered. "Ya know, I've been by the sea to fill my head with water lately, and it's been super foul. Somethin's pollutin' it bad. Ya really gotta do somethin' 'bout it."

"He's right, you know, Mi Amor," Umeboshi Onigiri Goat said. "A lot of people have been submitting requests to help clean the oceans. They're afraid their drinking water's been tainted. I know all that matters to you is this competition, but come on, be more responsible. Think about the future of our land."

Point beaten like a dead horse, the goddess turned her head away. Do these ugly people ever stop repeating themselves? Their oceans filtered themselves out with pickles and algae! None of them were smart enough to see that, were they? What a bunch of bumbling morons! But, they could wallow in their stupidity for all she cared. They didn't know what they were talking about anyway!

"I'll deal with it after the competition, alright?!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "Stop nagging me every two seconds!"

Limo soon parked, Dill Pickle Goddess snapped her fingers. Bright red carpet rolled out, she strutted. Multiple ugly models with barely any makeup staring at her, she let out a laugh. These lot stood no chance at winning against her now. Look how plain their dumb faces were! She was a sure fire win this time!

Heading for the fitting rooms in the back, the theme had soon been called to her attention. The first round was galaxica gherkins. Reading such, she let out a haughty laugh. Perfect, perfect, she had this theme in the bag. Of course she did, after all, she was the gorgeous Dill Pickle Goddess! Slipping into a fitting room, she could hear all the ugly losers complain.

"Ugh, galaxica gherkins? What kinda of theme is that?" ugly model number one asked.

"I bet they set these themes are set to make it easier for Dill Pickle Goddess to win!" ugly model number two cried.

"I dunno 'bout that, girls," ugly model number three said, shaking her head. "You know that these competitions are fair and have no bias, right?"

"Listen to yourself deny it!" two of the ugly models cried. "The goddess, the ruler of our entire kingdom is competing against us peasants!"

"So, I bet they rigged it in her favor!" ugly model number one shouted.

"Yeah, they probably did!" ugly model number two agreed.

"Um, let's just finish getting dressed, okay?" ugly model number three cried. "The runway starts in two minutes!"

Watching as the weak and pitiful ugly models failed to get the theme right, Dill Pickle Goddess's dress practically sparkled. She'd show all these pitiful insults to all things pretty what a real model looked like! They would be consumed by this business and thrown out to the sharks! And, she would stomp all over them in a second and show them how things are done!

"Welcome to this year's Pickle Land Top Model Competition!" an announcer cried. "And, onto our first theme, galaxica gherkins!"

Crowd cheering as the first ugly model strutted onto the stage, Dill Pickle Goddess nibbled on her spicy fringed pickle chips. Listen to that, barely any applause! They were going to lose this so hard that they'll never model in this land again! Sucks to suck. She'll wipe the floor with these wimps who can't even dress themselves properly!

Applause few and far between, she could feel her nose grow two sizes. Listen to how little the demons in the audience are clapping for them! Not a single person was cheering, and, no one would. They're just a bunch of losers who thought they knew how to be a model. They didn't, and they would lose so terribly it would humiliate them all! Ha, what a pitiful bunch of fools.

All the other pitiful losers done on the runaway, the goddess cracked her knuckles. Finally, all those losers were done hogging up the trail. It was her turn to show everyone how to look like a real model. None of these people knew what it meant or be beautiful or gorgeous at all. None of them were a hot bod femme fatale! Prepare to be defeated in one fell swoop!

Rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, tear, scratch.

Feeling something sharp tack onto the end of her train, Dill Pickle Goddess grit her teeth. This stupid showtime pole next to the curtains, how dare it stick into her! Don't make a fool of her like this, she's the most gorgeous gift to the world! And, she had to show these ugly losers what being pretty was all about! Pressing onward, the horrible sounds continued.

Rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, tear, scratch.

Fabrics coming undone, the goddess walked upon the stage. Ah, this stupid sharp point, she'll kill whoever set up this stage. That head of the television program, they set it up this way, didn't they? Whatever, she'll show them that she's still gorgeous without a skirt. Walking down the runaway, loud gasps had come her way.

"Mi Amor's skirt!" the audience cried.

"It's torn!" multiple people cried.

Muting the world around her, she kept posting for the camera. Tying a bit of curtain around the stupid broken hemline, she did a little turn. Who cares if her skirt was torn, hmm? She was still drop dead gorgeous, like, come on now! And, she would wipe the floor with this competition. Those dumb people in the audience didn't get it! No applause whatsoever, she puffed her cheeks. But, as she had done such, another ugly sound soon played.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

"Someone's challenging Pickle Land to Kingdom Warfare?!" the audience cried.

"Why now?!" the audience cried. "Who dares interrupt the most important day of the year!"

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzt.

"Hey, there, uglies! Stop the competition now, or I'll blow up your entire land and take it over!" a voice on the big screen on stage cried.

Ugly little buffalo chicken wing dragon appearing on the big screen, Dill Pickle Goddess ran off stage. Oh, this hideous little hydra thought she could ruin her modeling competition, did she? She'll bomb the crud out of her so she can never stand again! How dare this pest ruin everything for her! Screeching to her cabinet, she prepared herself to squish a bug.

Who dares to ruin the most important day of the year?

This ugly dragon's going down!

***

"I can't believe those stupid little ugly

Worms who dare think they can cross me on such an
Important day! This is my day to show all those
Little ugly bottom barrel models that I, the
Literal goddess of this nation are the most

Drop dead gorgeous goddess of all! And, shame on these
Egregious fools who think they can come into my kingdom to
Start Kingdom Warfare during
The most heated modelling competition of the year! What a bunch of
Retched freaks, I heard their leader died
Over in Strawberry Kingdom after that ugly Strawberry Shark Queen pushed them off their fork tower.
You know, the way Strawberry Kingdom fights is

Totally the most hideous of them all! Around
Here, the fight ends once
I roast five pickles on the griddle! That
Stupid strawberry kingdom

Should take notes because
They clearly don't know how to run a kingdom!
Upupu, honestly, neither do any of the others. I'm
Perfect, so I should be at the top of Satiation Kingdom! And, yet, here
I am stuck right down the middle! I'm the
Dominating force, so I should be at the top!

Look at who is ahead of me, they're all a bunch of kingdoms who don't even know what they're doing,
I'm sure of it! Look at Blueberry House,
They suck at everything
They do! Look at Pizzaville, they are a
Literal cult. How did they
Even manage to squeak into the top five? And,

Don't even get me started on that
Rancid waste that is Pitaya Land. They don't deserve to be
Anywhere near the top either! And, neither does Palace of Pears! They're a bunch of
Gung ho morons who cheese their way to the top!
Oh, and what about the ones below me? Pie Plaza is weak! So is Pumpkin City. Villa of Fishies? Even more pathetic than everyone else here!
Now, Cheese World is one position below me. But, they

Fail at the basic fundamentals
Of being a kingdom here! They have forgotten the
Rite of passage of what it means to be a kingdom, and that's being a strong leader!

Don't see what I mean? I mean, look
At her! Look at Blue Cheese Empress! She's a
Rotten wheel of cheese who is emotion as ever!
I could wiper her kingdom out with the palm of my hand!
Now, of course, I would never, ever
Go after them because

They would be wiped
Out with a flick of my wrist! So, I

Can't pick on the weak, now can I? They're more
Rancid than Pickled Radish Mermaid!
Oh, but it's not like I care. All the
Stupid Kingdoms above me will
Soon be Kingdoms beneath

Me. After all, I'm this close to knocking
Every single one of them down!

Wahaha, I'm the top, they just
Have no idea that
I am at the top of the town!
Look, it's been all fun and games
Ever since I was knocked down to the

Middle, but I'm not playing around anymore!
Once I knock out this
Dirty filth,
Everything will be in my favor!
Let's just remember that
I'm the goddess here, and
Nothing outmatches me! I'm Dill Pickle
Goddess, the ruler

Of Pickle Land, and
Nothing can outmatch me!

Look, I'm perfect,
I'm gorgeous, I'm the
Very best, and no one will
Ever will against me!

Those ugly little dragons and that
Very ugly group of Blueberry House gagsters that

Dared to team up with them,
I will wipe the floor with
Every single one of them!

Wahaha, just you wait,
Once and for all, I will
Reclaim my spot at the top! The spot that should have always belonged to
Me! If these
Stupid ugly demons think I won't go for the nuke immediately, get real, I'm on top!"

Reaching a large aquatic area with one singular grill set up in the middle of the battlegrounds, Dill Pickle Goddess cracked her knuckles. It was time to get her pickles on the grill and win this. How dare these ugly monsters think they could interrupt her moment to be a top model! They'll die for their sins.

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start

Objective: defeat as many enemies as possible or as many towers as possible.

Or: fry five pickles on the griddle for an automatic victory.

Warning: griddle is infested with toxic loaches.

"Wow, not going to lie, but these towers look so brittle that I can destroy every single one of them with one punch!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Ugly pickle goddess over here won't be able to get one pickle on that griddle when we're done with her!"

Hearing such, Dill Pickle Goddess rose upwards from the sky. Pickle bazooka nearly twice her size in the palm of her hands, she ready, aimed, fired. Mild explosive crunching multiple of their towers in a split second, she almost wanted to aim for that stupid hideous plant monster's heart. Excuse her, she's ugly? She'll give her ugly.

Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch.

Towers destroyed: eight out of twenty.

"Who do you think you're calling ugly?! Do you have eyes?!" Dill Pickle Goddess cried. "You're all blind, aren't you?" As she said such she let out a scream. "Pickled Radish Mermaid, hurry and poison them!"

"Roger!" Pickled Radish Mermaid cried. "Radioactive Radish!"

Toxic radish dropped upon the enemies, Dill Pickle Goddess ran through the trenches. Legendary pickle acquired she dashed off towards the griddle. Beautiful, juicy scrumptious kosher dill slapped upon the barbie, she turned her head towards the ugly men of the army. What were they doing, just standing there doing nothing? Kill these mother losers!

"Hurry up and attack them Umeboshi Onigiri Goat and Pickled Cucumber Kappa!" Dill Pickle Goddess demanded.

"Nah, you're going down at my command!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried. "Spicy hot wings burndown!"

Fire dropping down upon the battlefield, multiple towers had been crunched into nothing. Dropping down a retaliation strike upon the stupid blueberry gangsters in the back, she kept on yelping at her teammates. What a bunch of stallers, who said they could grind for time, hmm? She ought to force them to fire their attacks.

"Cucumber Sniper Shot!" Pickled Cucumber Kappa cried.

Sniper of cucumbers dropping down upon the enemy, the trench was wide open. Doing a somersault two juicy, beautiful fruits had been in the palm of her hands once more. Sweet, sweet pickles, she'd soon be done with this fight and show these freaks who was to not be messed with! Popping a couple more on the grill, she could hear another shout in the corner.

"Ugh, the water's toxic!" Pao Tsai Panda screeched. "I can't hang on any longer!"

Weak and pathetic panda knocked out into nothing, Dill Pickle Goddess scoffed as she flipped over the legendary pickles. Look how pitiful she is, losing to a bunch of loaches! She should have never let this ugly little slow panda on her team in the first place. All she was good for was keeping track of expenses anyway.

"Not so strong now, are we, hmm, ugly little pickle goddess?" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "I won't let you get the other two pickles!"

Called ugly again, the goddess leapt upward. Eyes glowing red, she let out a scream. This stupid ugly little plant freak, how dare she use that word against her again. She'll pay, her entire team will pay for this. Reaching for her back pocket, a special little explosive gift had been thrown their way. Hideous eyes opening wide, she rolled her way back towards the trench.

"She has a radioactive pickle bomb?!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried. "No, she--I!"

Boom, kablamo, whammo.

"--Won't survive a radioactive blast!" Buffalo Hydra wings finished, entire body burning up like a fire in the city. "You'll pay for this!" But, she continued to burn up into nothing as she cried such.

Pickles currently on the grill: five.

Remaining turns until they are finished cooking: one.

Last two pickles plopped onto the grill, she watched as the rest of her teammates laid waste to all those hideous towers on the other side. Crispy dills finally done, she tossed them at the remaining peanut gallery upon the battlefield. Everyone dropping like flies, the goddess guffawed in a haughty manner. These foolish losers think they could beat her? Ha! Not in a quadrillion years. Time to starve!

Ding.

The pickles are done cooking.

Starved.

"Dill Pickle Goddess, we'll avenge Buffalo Wing Hydra's unfair demise!" Jalapeno Burger Plant shouted. "And, all my dead comrades will poison your waters further!"

Pitiful garbage exiting her borders, the goddess let out a laugh. Oh, that stupid hydra's gonna poison her oceans, huh? As if that would do anything! The lakes would filter themselves out! Returning to the runway, unfortunate news had soon graced her beautiful eardrums. Not winning the competition, she stomped back to her palace.

Pacing around for quite a long while, she grunted. How dare that ugly wench win instead of her! She was the hottest femme fatale around, she had this in the bag! Ugly cabinet continuing to nag her about the toxic waste in the water, she groaned behind her desk for the next few days. Who cares about all that, hmm? Slaving the rest of the week away, only one thing kept crossing her mind.

She should have won that modeling competition, how dare that big nose ugly demon get the crown instead of her.

---

Dill Pickle Goddess is so full of herself...uh. Next week is? Blueberry House, I guess, which is a literal gang war kingdom LOL.

 

[Palamon]

Blueberry House: New Member of the Gang

---

"Greetings, pleased to make your acquaintance,
Rookie, I am Don Blueberry Lizard, but
Everyone calls me Blueberry Lizard Mother. I'm the leader Blueberry Kingdom, but
Everyone better know us as
The Blueberry House. And, that's what people call us.
I run a land that's mostly a bunch of busy cities with many streets.
Now, I know what you're thinking: how is that a Kingdom? Oh,
Get real. We're practically the capital of
Satiation Kingdom! My kingdom is a little

Weird, but we're better than Pickle Land! That kingdom
Especially grinds my gears, that's why we
Let Sweet and Sour Kingdom
Collaborate with us.
Okay, I know other demons
Might have heard that we're a gang!
Ehe, yeah, it's true, we're a gang. We're a bunch of hoodlums

That run the government!
Of course, I do my job, you

Bet I'm the best ruler this world has to offer.
Let me just say don't
Underestimate how powerful we are.
Ehehe, yes, we are all a
Bunch of mobsters, and
Everyone should be afraid of me, but we don't bite. Or
Rather, we don't bite unless we're
Required to. And now, I'm sure
You're wondering about

How our Kingdom Warfare works around here, so I'll tell you.
Okay, so our Kingdom Warfare is
Unleashed in the
Streets. That's right!
Everything is decided by a street fight

In designated bastions. We have more than one,

And that's why we're in the top five! Pickle Land
Might want to rethink how they

Battle because they're in the middle, unlike us!
Look, I'm not perfect,
Uh since we have multiple bastions, we lose
Every now and again,
But don't get me wrong!
Everything is fine, we are a
Rather large gang, and people
Rejoin and leave and always come back,
Yes, nothing is wrong here. It's not

Like we're infighting, or anything!
It's all peachy keen over here!
Zany, and fun, like
A fresh breeze. The
Rules around here are that letters of challenge need to be
Delivered before initiating Kingdom Warfare, and

My people know the consequences
Of breaking this rule!
The consequences are
Hard punishments, sometimes even death! But fear not, we rarely if ever go off and about to kill anyone. Something like this is only
Ever used as a last resort. And, trust me, you don't ever want to be at the
Receiving end of a last resort punishment, ever. So, don't say I didn't warn you!

At the moment, everything is peachy keen. We've been going after other kingdoms lately. We're
Not mincing opportunities to get to the top! I'm
Don Blueberry Lizard, after all! And,

I am here to take what's mine! And, since a new

Rookie will soon be joining
Us, I have to look cool. Since it's been, I didn't know how long, since I got a
New member, things have been kind of slow in

The? I have to say a couple
Hundred years? Maybe I'm losing my edge as a leader,
I guess I should try to make myself more intimidating.
Should I lose the suit? Nope. I

Just can't change
Our dress code all willy nilly.
I'm the swanky leader of this large city! And, I'll
Never compromise on my looks.
That's the one thing I care about more than my kingdom!

Eh, I'm nothing like Pickle Land, okay?
Nothing like that leader at all. I
Just care about my image.
Of course, I govern more than she does!
You know, I don't know how that pickle goddess even got to the top ten, and

Yet, she's in the top ten.
Of course I sent my lesser members out to her kingdom to
Ultimately give her a wakeup call, but those spoiled
Rotten members of

Sweet And Sour Kingdom had
To go and lose it
All. I'm not going to stop working with them, because they're getting revenge on the top ten, and
Yes, that includes me. I'm in the top ten. I do have a feeling, they're close to breaking our pact. And, if they

Have plans to do so, no mercy. If anyone
Ever betrays us, there will be blood. I hope you understand this,
Rookie because I'm not
Ever going to say it again. If you

Have any opportunity to try and betray us, you'll regret it. So, don't
Ever, okay? In the meantime, everything is business as usual. Everything is fine, I
Have nothing to complain about.
Everything will probably go fine today too."

The dark blueberry shaped sun blistered through the juicy skies over Blueberry House, the dense conglomerate of cities off towards the southeast corners of Satiation Kingdom. Multiple sporty demons had been running across the racetracks, lesser gang members were tussling with one another. It was yet another breezy, peachy keen day. But, for one particular high profile demon, today would be one of the busiest days of the year.

A tall, butch tan demon with a bright blue mullet dyed half brown underneath let out a tired yawn. Lizard tail poking through the hole in her pajamas, she could feel another tear ready to take charge. Ah, maybe she had put on a few pounds recently, but whatever. She was getting up there in demon years. But, that didn't matter. Nothing else mattered today. She, as the Blueberry Lizard Mother, had a very important day ahead of her.

Today, after who knows how long, a new family member would be joining her little ragtag gang. The beautiful little, no, big in the midst of her annoying duties as a Prime Minister of a country that barely had anything happening. But, such is life. Who could blame her for wanting a little extra color every now and again.

Tossing herself into her little swamp in the restroom, she sank down in the bog. A new family member, a new beginning. Things had been so tiresome lately since those little worms from Sweet and Sour Kingdom had decided to collaborate forces with her. She could use a break from all that for a little while. So long, foreign influences.

Scaly body all bright and shiny, she caressed her bright blue tail. Slipping on a fancy, purplish-pink suit with blue sleeves and blueberries printed in a four corner pattern. Hair slicked back, she cracked her knuckles, she slithered into the kitchen as a tasty scent made itself known to her. Ah, excellent, wonderful, one of her family had shown themselves, beautiful.

Flopping waffles over the stove had been a short, bony androgynous demon with one singular wing on their left shoulder. Short ear length hair half blue up top, and green towards the bottom, they had big bushy eyebrows. White hoodie with two smiling damsons with wings on it, their limbs were all bone. She always wondered how One Winged Damson could live with this decomposing illness without feeling any sort of pain, but she knew it was far from a good idea to bring something like that up.

"Good morning, my lovely winged child," Blueberry Lizard Mother greeted. "Nice for you to join me this morning."

"Figured you would be too busy thinking about the new family member joining us," One Winged Damson said, flipping another waffle. "So, the other top members told me to come here."

Waffles plopped down upon her plate, blueberry lizard mother drummed her fingers upon the table. She could hardly wait another moment to meet this new family member. All she had been doing lately besides sending her lesser members to the other kingdoms for warfare was boring, Prime Minister responsibilities. She never understood why she dreamed in her childhood to become the highest governing body of this country. There were so many other careers she could have chosen. But, oh well, too late now.

"Your siblings are right, it is all I've been thinking about recently," Blueberry Lizard Mother responded, hands folded on the table. "It's been so long since another member has joined our gang." She sipped blueberry grey tea as she said such.

"That's 'cause a lot of members have been fighting each other lately," One Winged Damson said, nibbling on a waffle.

Hearing such, Blueberry Lizard Mother nearly spit out her tea. Her family had been fighting one another, since when? Aside from Kingdom Warfare spats, what else could her children be fighting over? Maybe there was traitor in her midst! But, why concern herself over such things now? She can put a band aid on that issue for now.

"I'm sure it's just the lesser members just engaging in Kingdom Warfare, the usual," Blueberry Lizard Mother responded. "Nothing to worry about."

"Dunno about that, Big Mother," One Winged Damson responded, shaking their head. "Big Sister Kitty says things ain't looking too good."

Bell Pepper Kitty mentioned, she kept on sipping her tea in silence for a moment. That demon was way too cautious for her own good. Maybe she could use a little lesson on how things were around here. But, ah, not today. It could all wait until another day. After all, she had more important things to do today. Besides, every other time she had a bad feeling before nothing ever happened.

"Bell Pepper Kitty's just a fraidy cat," Blueberry Lizard Mother replied with a smile on her face. "Her predictions are rarely ever right!" She then proceeded to stand up from her chair. "Now, come child, it's time to go to the house."

"Okay, big mother," One Winged Damson replied, moving forward. "But, she might be right this time."

Locking the door behind her, the mother skipped off towards her big, beautiful dune buggy. Ah, yes, good old reliable, she could never go anywhere without it. Off to the alleyways she goes. Boney demon seated in the back, she was off to the races. It was time to head to her home away from home. The best place of them all. The Blueberry House. Her sweet, sweet abode away from home.

Swiping the bright blue wooden doors with full force, a large gang den with a beautiful felt chair awaited. Her throne room was fit for a queen! No, king. Ah, whatever, she was both anyway. Hearing a rag blistering on through, she could hear a pained meow in the corner. There goes Bell Pepper Kitty, being klutzy as usual. Honestly, how could she live like this? Maybe it was part of her charm. Walking towards her slovenly child, she extended her hand.

Slipped on the floor had been a tall, dark skinned adult cat demon with curly, light green hair that went down to about her chest. Two long, blue stringy pigtails going down to about her backside, her azure cat ears matched the tied up locks exactly. Emerald one piece dress with two bell peppers sewed onto the pockets, she had a rather disappointed look on her face.

"Boss, I don't need your help," Bell Pepper Kitty groaned. But, as she said such, her knight and shining armor would soon rise.

"Need a hand getting up, babe?" a deep voice asked.

"Yes, babe, I fell on my rump again while cleaning the house. Aren't I so clumsy?" she asked, sticking her tongue out.

Lifting the kitty up had been a tall, dark skinned adult male demon with medium length blue hair that had been green at the tips. Blue eyes to match, his pupils had been the same as everyone else in the kingdom. Native born, anyway. Every single one of them could be siblings if a foreigner were to squint. Probably, anyway.

Bell Pepper Kitty lifted to her feet, Blueberry Lizard Mother puffed her cheeks in. Why was it that she would only accept help from Blue Fig Master? What did he have that she didn't? She was the don of this establishment. The Big Mother, if everyone will. But, she supposed she couldn't change things as they were, this little kitty was prickly, after all.

Seating herself in the big felt chair, she crusted her leg into her right thigh. In the next few hours, her next beautiful family member would soon be joining them! Top dogs, excuse her, demons surrounding her in her throne room, she readied to fire up the millions of questions she had brewing through her.

"You've all been keeping tabs on the new member who will be joining us today," Blueberry Lizard Mother said in a proud tone. "Tell me everything you know about them!"

"I don't get it, you're still pressing on about this initiation?" Bell Pepper Kitty asked in a nervous tone. "There's been a lot of infighting lately since you collaborated with Sweet and Sour Kingdom! What if they're a traitor in the mix and they're from that kingdom and are trying to run our precious country into the ground?!"

Bell Pepper Kitty as useless as a used napkin, Blueberry Lizard mother placed her slimy palms on her temple. What would she ever do with this poor fraidy cat? She was way too cautious for her own good, like always. Their kingdom was far from falling apart! They were in the top five amongst the ten top kingdoms. Why would there be a traitor in the midst?

She could not help but let out a scoff at such. Come on, a traitor in their midst? How comical. Why would the Sweet and Sour Kingdom be in line to betray them? They weren't trying to get revenge on them, they were trying to get revenge on everyone else! They were cool, all chums, all pals, all muchacos. She needed to dial down that fear she was wrestling right now.

"Don't be silly, my dear child," Blueberry Lizard Mother responded. "No one would ever dare betray us!"

"Why don't you ever believe me?!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "Look around you, so many of our members are fighting! It wasn't like this before you let Sweet and Sour Kingdom team up with us!" Her tail furiously swished behind her. "Can't you see? I'm sure this new family member joining us today is Sweet and Sour Kingdom's spies sent to find our weaknesses."

"Babe, come on, you're exaggerating too much," Blue Fig Master said to the kitty. "Nothing like that's going on."

"Why are you on Boss's side for this?!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to have my back!"

"Listen, babe, you always are saying things like, 'we're about to have a big gang war soon! Everyone's fighting one another!' And, each time you say stuff like that, it isn't the case, so I'm just being honest with you here." He crossed her arms across his waist as he said such.

"Is your bandana on too tight?!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "Why is no one on my side for this?!"

No one answering her question, Blueberry Lizard Mother let out a sigh. Everything was going the same as it always was. Her little kitty was a fraidy cat. Maybe it was about time she demoted her to the lower ranks. But, ah, no, how could she do that to her precious little kitty? It would be such a crime to do that to her.

"New family member used to be a star runner in the New Berry City circuit," One Wing Damson answered in the chaos. "But, they lost their arms and legs during that meteor impact last summer, and are now stuck with wooden prosthetics that are hard to move around with." Their wing flapped behind them as they continued. "So, they were hoping to join our family to forget all that stuff."

One Winged Damson explaining their brand new member to them, she could not help but feel immeasurable pity flow through her. They lost their legs and arms to that meteor that struck down upon this land last summer? How sad. She just had to take this poor little stray in and make her one of the family. What a pitiful way of being.

Placing her arm on the felt rests for a moment, she drummed her free fingers. What should she do as the initiation process for this new member? Maybe she could give them a new set of arms and legs? She bet those quack doctors gave them nothing but wooden replacements! That won't do at all. But, what could she do to make her life better as one of the fam?

Continuing to drum her fingers, the questions kept rolling themselves around in her swamp. Maybe there wasn't much she could do, after all she wasn't a doctor. She couldn't replaced medical professionals. But, it must have been awful with nothing but little tree stumps! As a mother, she ought to do something, right?

"Tell me what else you know about our new family member arriving today, if you'd please, One Winged Damson," Blueberry Lizard mother responded.

"Their name is Concord Grape Racer," One Winged Damson responded. "A very famous racer in Blueberry Kingdom. No, in all of Satiation Kingdom."

"Most famous racer in all of Satiation Kingdom?!" Bell Pepper Kitty screeched. "Oh, no, what if they're a spy from another kingdom?!"

"Babe, come on, now that's a bit ridiculous, wouldn't you say?" Blue Fig Master asked, giggling a little. "Why would they be some sort of spy? You have to have seen them running on the tracks in New Berry City before."

"No?! Why would I?!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "Why should I?! I don't follow the circuit!"

"That's part of the problem, babe," Blue Fig Master replied, shaking his head. "You don't follow the circuit, so you're jumping to wild conclusions."

Her little kitty hissing, Blueberry Lizard Mother folded her hands together. This cat of hers, what would she ever do with her? Her cries that there was a traitor in their ranks had been reaching a tipping point as of late. She didn't know where all of this had been coming from lately, but it definitely wasn't coming from a place of genuine concern. She truly needed to learn to not be afraid of everything. Be a bit more on the edgy side! They were a group of street gangsters here. Well, a governing body, too, when demanded of her, but she was a tried and true gangster first and foremost!

"I suppose I should tell you what I know about them, too, boss," Blue Fig Master said. "They were quite fast and efficient before the accident. Were, anyway. How things are for them now, I can't say since I don't know."

Pitiful explanation soon following, everything had begun to pile up like blueberry waffles. What a sad, pitiful demon they were turning out to be. She almost wanted to save them from themselves at this point. They were practically asking to be saved. Whatever will she do? She had to do something to make this poor, pathetic demon worth her while.

"Anything else I should know?" Blueberry Lizard Mother asked.

"There isn't much else I can think of, uh," Blue Fig Master said, finger on his chin. "They might need a ramp to get up some places. They have terrible balance and need something to hold onto when walking sometimes."

Mentions of a ramp coming her way, Blueberry Lizard Mother folded her hands together staring ahead. How troublesome, she would need to make some adjustments to the house. But, she supposed she could do that. It had been who knows how long since she had a new family member to initiate into the gang. Gotta be welcoming!

"There is not one, but I'll have the lower tier members make us one," Blueberry Lizard Mother said with a smile. "Does anyone else have anything else to add?"

"I'm telling you, boss, you're making a huge mistake welcoming this new member into our gang!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "There's a traitor in our midst! The fam's been fighting one another! You gotta listen to me!"

Sighing, her tail furiously swished behind her. Hadn't this kitty had enough of this nonsense by now? If she kept on repeating this same things over and over again, she'd make build the ramp for her brand new family member as punishment! Enough of this already, this is all she had been talking about as of recent.

"My little kitty, you worry too much," Blueberry Lizard Mother groaned. "In any case, it's time to clean up the place. Our new family member is joining us in two hours!"

Everyone tidying up the place, the don slumped in her seat. Why was this kitty so bent up on this nonexistent traitor?

->

Two Hours Later.

Everything nice and tidy for their brand new family member, Blueberry Lizard Mother was about to put in her A-Game. Finally, after hundreds of years, there was a new person to initiate into the gang. It was so boring having all the same people in her midst all the time! Everything had begun to lose all its color. And now, the world would once again be vibrant and flowing with life.

Finding a good doctor while her children made the place sparkly clean, beautiful, brand spanking new metal prosthetics had been in the palm of her hands. But, she had been told something weird. Many of her family members had been piled up outside horrifically disfigured. But, she laughed such off. No way that was true! Why would it be? Everyone sure had a lot of dumb things to say today.

Click.

Door opening, she let out a whistle. The time had come to start this beautiful initiation. It had been so long since she could welcome someone new here. Centuries had gone by since someone new had come along. She could count on her fingers the amount of members who had joined her cause. Ah, no matter, that was neither here nor there, here they come.

Hearing the sound of wooden footsteps coming rapid fire, someone had been wobbling on their feet. She could not help but shake her head to such. Ah, they were as wobbly as people said they were. No matter, these brand new legs would most certainly fix everything! They'd better be grateful for this initiation bonus they're about to get.

"Hello, there, you're the Big Mother, aren't you?" Concord Grace Racer asked. "I'm Concord Grape Racer, and I'd be so pleased if you'd let me join your gang. I may be a bit of a liability, but if there's some enemies you need me to take out, I'm your demon!" They bowed as they said such.

Lifting their head after bowing had been a short, slightly tan androgynous appearing demon with blue hair that had green tips that barely went below their ears. Jade bangs busy in the center, they had a portion of their hair pulled into rings that made them look like an alien, for some reason. Green eyes unlike the rest of the entire country, she couldn't help but feel a little suspicious. Had they migrated here from another kingdom? Maybe she should be a little wary of this one. White hoodie with a bunch of blue grapes with smiley faces on them, her wooden arms and legs were rather beaten up. How was this demon living? This was hardly what she called a way of life.

"Welcome, my child, I have something for you," Blueberry Lizard Mother greeted in a warm tone.

"You do?" Concord Grape Racer asked. "But, what about my initiation?"

"My child, this is your initiation," Blueberry Lizard Mother responded, grinning. "My top dogs told me you have ratty old wooden prosthetics you could barely walk in. Well, a doctor will install them for you." She tapped upon the new set of limbs as she continued. "Now, chop, chop, he's waiting for you in the other room!" But, a long silence followed.

"I don't know if I can accept this," Concord Grape Racer said, shaking their head. "Big Mother, I understand you're just trying to help, but, I just got here. Is this really alright? What if other people like me join, and they don't get the same treatment as me?"

"Nonsense, almost no one joins the gang in this day and age," Blueberry Lizard Mother said in a warm tone. "So, please, accept this welcoming gift." She inched the metallic limbs closer to them as she yammered on.

"Thank you very much, Big Mother," Concord Grape Racer responded, bowing. "I hope to be of good use to you."

Trmp, trmp, trmp, trmp.

Handing the limbs over, the mother walked around in a circle upon her den. Would this all work out? She didn't know all that much about prosthetics. Maybe she had been born in the wrong generation of demons. Was she behind on the times? Maybe, maybe not. But, she guessed it didn't matter. What mattered was right now, not then.

Little Kitty running in, the mother tried to hold in a groan. Sometimes she wondered if this kitty of hers was just trying to be annoying for the sake of it. What did she want now? Now wasn't the time for her dumb little shenanigans. She knew what was coming, any second now and she would say their new member was a traitor! Maybe it was about time she had a good long talk with this girl.

"I'm telling you, this new member has got to be from Sweet and Sour Kingdom!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "Why aren't you seeing what I'm saying here? Their eyes are green! Super green! There's no way they're one of us!"

"I know they don't have blue eyes like the rest of us, but," Blueberry Lizard Mother said with a sigh. "My kitty, you're being too cautious. They're a speed demon. There's nothing to concern yourself over."

"You never listen to me, do you?!" Bell Pepper Kitty mewed. "I've been telling you for so long now that there's a traitor in our midst, and you keep brushing me off! What if our new member is the traitor, what then? What will you do?!"

The don let out an aggravated sigh as her child's rants continued. How did this demon grow up into such a scared adult? There had been so many other cat demons across Satiation Kingdom, and none of them were as afraid of everything as she was. This was way too much. At least trust her judgement!

"Our new family member is not a traitor in our midst. Why won't you listen to me?" Blueberry Lizard Mother fired back. "You won't get far in your life if you're afraid of everything, don't you know that?"

"I'm not afraid of everything!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "I'm just looking out for our kingdom!" She waved her paws as she said such. "We're fifth place right now, you know! And those peeps from Sweet and Sour Kingdom we're collaborating with, they're super bad news and stuff! You know they're trying to get revenge on all of the top ten kingdoms, don't you? What if we're next?!"

Little kitty raising a good point, she placed her hand on her chin. It was true that Sweet and Sour Kingdom wanted revenge, but why would their plan for vengeance include them? That was the most unlikely thing to happen here. Would the only person she would ever listen to was her boyfriend? Probably. That was most likely the case.

"At this point, I'm really starting to wonder if this is something you're hoping happens instead of being afraid," Blueberry Lizard Mother said, sighing. "Now, can you please stop with this? We don't want to scare our new family member!" As she cried such, the rest of her top dogs soon trotted in.

"Yeah, babe, you're being way too cautious," Blue Fig Master said, hands on his hips. "Can't you drop it? It really is not a good look for you to be so afraid of everything like this. Can't you put aside for today?"

"They're not from Sweet and Sour Kingdom, come on," One Winged Damson added. "They just have green eyes for some reason. Drop it."

"You're all not seeing the warning signs, how can you three be so blind?!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "Think about it! A new member of the gang has joined us after what, hundreds of years? Don't you see this as kind of fishy?"

New point of concern rotting the berries inside her, the don placed her hand on her chin. Maybe Bell Pepper Kitty was right for a change. It was pretty odd someone was suddenly deciding to join their gang after all this time. But, there was no way she would admit to feeling a sense of uncertainty here. She was the leader of this country, and she knew what was best!

Hearing strange noises in the other room, she could feel the uncertainty begin to pile up like pancakes. Should she grill this new member about all the suspicions Bell Pepper Kitty had? She shook her head to such. No, that would only lead to a whole ton of suspicions, wouldn't it? Wasn't it better to lay down the blow gently?

Her thoughts, however, had been cut off as her newest family member came strutting in with their new set of legs. Shiny, metallic prosthetics practically glowing against the sun, she covered the side of her forehead with her slimy palms. She felt like she had given birth to a new demon just now. The joys of being a big boss.

"How do they look?" Concord Grape Racer asked, blushing. "Why are you all staring at me?"

"I'm just thinking you're probably a traitor from Sweet and Sour Kingdom!" Bell Pepper Kitty mewed. But, such had been met with a head tile.

"Sorry, I don't follow?" Concord Grape Racer asked. "What makes you think that I'm from there?"

"You have green eyes!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "No one in this kingdom has green eyes!" A long, exasperated sigh had soon come her way.

"You're worried about something so trivial as my eye color? Unbelievable," Concord Grape Racer replied in an annoyed tone. "You know, you really need to stop assuming the worst in other demons. I've seen you around New Berry City countless times, and you're always screaming this and that. Another kingdom is going to attack us! There's traitors in our ranks!" They pointed with their metallic fingers as they kept going. "You want to know since you're so suspicious of me, fine, I'll tell you what happened. You know that meteor that came crashing down and hit me? Turns out it was radioactive and it turned my blue eyes green, and I lost all four of my limbs. But, sure, I'm a traitor. Let's go with that."

A long silence soon followed after that. Bell Pepper Kitty tucking her tail between her legs, she gazed at her new family member. The nerve of this kitty of hers. These accusations were causing more harm than good! She ought to demote her from the top dogs if she keeps this up. But, she would give her one last chance to redeem herself.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Huh? Hearing the Kingdom Warfare trumpets blasting, Blueberry Lizard Mother turned towards her newest family member. Hold on, why were the sirens going off? Where was the challenge letter? Someone had broken the rules. How could they? Gazing at her little kitty, she knew she was about to regret what she was about to say.

"You hear that?! Someone's challenging us kitty without setting a letter!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. "Those Sweet and Sour Kingdom cronies were planning on betraying us all along!"

"Alright, babe, maybe you're right, happy?" Blue Fig Master asked, sighing.

"No, because, you should have listened to me from the beginning!" She hopped up and down like an impling as she said such.

Alert, alert, the streets of Figtimore have been attacked with unauthorized initiated Kingdom Warfare !

"Everyone, we need to head to Figtimore's alleys now!" Blueberry Lizard Mother cried.

"Okay, Big Mother," One Winged Damson cried, flapping upward.

"Your wish is my command, boss," Blue Fig Master said, exiting.

"Babe, wait for me!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried. But, one person remained.

"Big Mother, am I allowed to join you?" Concord Grape Racer asked. "I know I'm new and all, and only top dogs get to participate in kingdom warfare, but, I want to try out my new legs."

"Sure, consider this your real initiation," Blueberry Lizard Mother responded with a war smile. "Now, let's get rid of these traitors."

Speeding off, the don could feel herself fill up with regret. Maybe she really should have taken her little kitty's warnings seriously. She shouldn't have ever even considered teaming up with Sweet and Sour Kingdom, should she? Oh, well, her bad. She'll think long and hard in the future about foreign alliances from here on out. Taking the monorail off towards Figtamore with her newest family member, she cracked her knuckles.

Time to destroy a traitor.

***

"I guess Bell Pepper Kitty is right about one thing, I probably

Shouldn't have joined an alliance with Sweet And Sour Kingdom, but I guess I
Have my head up my butt since I kept
On dismissing Bell Pepper Kitty
Ugh, maybe I should have helped out when my
Lower ranking members went over to Pie Plaza and Pickle Land, but I
Don't get involved in other
Nation's Kingdom Warfare challenges unless I'm
The one initiating the challenge. I always

Have my other gang members show what we're
All about. Please don't assume I'm lazy, I'm just
Very tied up in the Kingdom Warfare in my own nation.
Ever since we did decide to

Join forces with Sweet And Sour Kingdom, though, it is true,
Our members have been
Infighting for awhile. I mostly disregarded this since this is
Nothing to really worry about.
Everyone challenges themselves to Kingdom Warfare here, but it
Does seem like there's been something worse going on behind the curtain.

Ah, maybe my family is falling apart, and there's
Nothing I can do to patch it back up.

Ah, well, after I eliminate these
Little traitors who decided to rile up my
Large family, they're going to get a nice reminder on who is the big don around here. Me,
I am. And, they'll be sorry for doing
All this. So sorry that they don't know what hit them. I'll
Never align myself with the kingdoms outside the top ten again, so
Come at me, and see what happens if you even so dare as to challenge me.
Every single one of you will be going down!"

Reaching a big, glowing alleyway with glittery signs everywhere, Blueberry Lizard Mother cracked her knuckles. These demons picked the worst possible place to challenge her. Like, come on now. This was one of the worst cities in all of Blueberry Kingdom! Dumpster implings, a heavy array of homeless demons she couldn't do anything about due to the rigid elderly permanently sworn in cabinet members kept vetoing against her best wishes, and much more. These traitors did their homework, didn't they?

Little plant demon in the center of multiple members of her family adorning disgruntled looks, she crossed her slimy arms across her waist. Ah, Sweet and Sour Kingdom knew their stuff, how troublesome. Caressing a bazooka behind her back, she was ready for action, and then some. These little beasts are going down, and they'll be going down fast.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start

Objective: defeat all enemy gang members and teach a lesson to at least four nearby passerbys.

Towers cannot be destroyed until five minutes have elapsed in battle.

"It's been fun teaming up with you to try and eliminate the other top ten, but you know, I've decided you suck!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "I'm going to take out every single one of you. How dare you leave me with your weak scraps to fight with me! You're going down!"

"See? I told you they were going to betray us, I told you!" Bell Pepper Kitty cried.

"Babe, you said that the entire time we were on the monorail. I adore you, but could you please stop?" Blue Fig Master asked.

"Should we be arguing right now? The warfare's started," One Winged Damson said pointing. "They've got?!" But they couldn't finish that sentence.

"Meteor bombs," Concord Grape Racer finished. "They must have dug up the meteor fragment, we have to hurry!" As they said such, their prosthetics sparked. "Let me go first! I can take then out! I can feel it!"

Watching as their newest family member sprinted faster than the speed of sound, a beautiful, swift, electrifying kick had been gifted to her family led astray by the toxic little plant demon. Flies dropping one after another, she could hear multiple passerbys screaming fight, fight, fight, fight, fight over and over again. Leaping behind them their heads had been locked into a tight squeeze.

Crck, crck, crck, crck.

"Prime Minister, what are you doing here?!" Passerby one asked. "Ow! Let go of my neck."

"Hey, I heard you knocked another demon up and had the nerve to tell her to tell her to throw them in the dumpster," Blueberry Lizard Demon cried. "Thanks for contributing to our population crisis! Take this."

Boom.

Little zap plundered to the neck, the don put on a sinister smile. One punishment down, two to go. Newest family member already knocking out about half of the opposing gang members, she kept her rampage going upon the dumb passerbys who couldn't mind their own business for even a second.

Crck, crck, crck, crck.

Current enemies remaining: six.
Passerbys who have been taught a lesson: five out of ten.

Minutes until towers can be destroyed: one.

Sixty seconds remaining, Blueberry Lizard mother turned towards her little kitty and her partner, party of two asking if they could launch, the thing, she nodded. Whatever this thing was, she was all for it. Consider her game. Why even ask if she would allow it? It's not like she was a picky leader! Unlike a certain annoying princess from the neighboring pear kingdom.

"Okay, babe, you ready?" Bell Pepper Kitty asked. "Launch the thing."

"Okay, here goes!" Blue Fig Master cried. "Go, my pretties!"

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

"Woah, look at Bell Pepper Kitty go!" an adolescent demon in the crowd cried. "Those kitty fig bombs are the bomb, like literally!"

Crck, crck, crck.

"Why aren't you young imps in school?" Blueberry Lizard Mother asked in a booming voice. "Truancy will land you a one trip ticket in jail!"

Five adolescent imps piled up into a ball, Blueberry Lizard Mother brushed her slimy hands together. Ah, yes, she had done it, everyone had finally been taught a lesson. Only one single member remaining on the battlefield, she turned her body off towards the side. It's time for one last tail smack, here goes.

Current Enemies Remaining: One.

Passerbys Who Have Been Taught A Lesson: ten out of ten.

Current Towers Destroyed: zero of twenty.

"Fam, aim for the heart!" Blueberry Lizard Mother cried.

"Okay, boss," Blue Fig Master affirmed.

"Got it," Bell Pepper Kitty cried.

"All in," One Winged Damson said.

"Huh? Alright, I'll try," Concord Grape Racer cried.

"You really think you can defeat me?" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "I'm stronger than you!"

Kablam.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Tail becoming one with the enemy, they had soon dropped down upon the ground like it was hot. Defeat coming their way, one after another, she could hear the victory bells ready to toll. Letting out a little laugh, she smirked from ear to ear. She had, once again, shown she was the top don. Everyone should fear her.

Starved.

Returning to her den, many apologies had been exchanged from the kitty's lips. But, an apology had soon been returned to her. She should have listened to Bell Pepper Kitty from the very beginning. Those Sweet and Sour Kingdom demons were bad news after all. Oh, well. The last remaining member had retreated back to their bastion.

Having a long and hard talk with the members that didn't go through the proper procedures a blowing punishment had been delivered. Returning home after a long day, she swam in her success. A new family member and victory all in one day? Beautiful, wonderful, amazing. Dozing off for the late evening, she could feel one lingering thought flow through her as the zs were caught.

It might be a good idea to rethink her foreign alliance policies.

---

Next week is Pizzavile.... oh boy. By the way, that kingdom is a cult. Don't ask.

 

[Palamon]

Pizzaville: Worshippers of Lord Zza

---

"Praise our lord and savior pizza, pizza is love, pizza is life!
Rrrr, rrrr, what? What do you want, can't you see I'm in the middle of
An important ritual here? Go away! Praise pizza, praise the beautiful pie!
I, sigh, fine! I see how it is, welcome, new worshipper, you have
Stepped into Pizzaville, the most beautiful Kingdom in all of Satiation Kingdom. We're a country high off the ground on an
Elevated land help up by

The legendary pizza, and I'm your
Host Mushroom Pizza God. In the government, I'm known as Mayor Pretzel Crust. But
Eck, I despise that name! I'm the Mushroom

Pizza God, got it? The Pizza God!
I saw the light when I ate a toxic mushroom and now I'm whole! I'm a pizza demon! Praise the
Zza, praise the
Zza! I don't have time for
All this boring mayor nonsense.

You know, my kingdom is in the top ten because
Everyone is afraid of my pizza bombs. Unlike Blueberry House being
Some kind of gang we

Here are something you should all be afraid of!
Ehehe, that's right, that
Lizard Mother is a pathetic
Little hoodlum! She could use a little pizza in her life!
Oh praise our lord and savior the big pizza!

I'm pretty sure all the other kingdoms on the top ten

Are struggling to stay afloat, I mean, hey! Look at
Me, I'm the Mushroom Pizza God! The

Mushroom Pizza God! And my team here all of
Us are much stronger now
Since we ate those toxic mushrooms, no one can beat us, and as for those
Horribly weak Sweet And Sour Kingdom, they're
Repugnant! I think they could use a little pizza, if they're going to attack
Our precious land, I'm going to wipe them
Out. We're a violent kingdom, that
Might seem weird, but for the

Pizza, we'll use any means necessary to make sure no one stands
In our way of our beautiful ritual! Praise the
Zza, praise the
Zza! No one has ever understood my kingdom,
And that's how people

Go and lose to us.
Our Kingdom freaks out those unconverted
Demons and scares them all

Away from us, so Kingdom Warfare on our sky shores is actually quite
Rare! And, our Kingdom Warfare is quite
Extraordinary, I must say. In our bastion,

You must bomb the other side while baking the godly pizza, and them burn
Our holy incense for our god.
Uhuhu, most people don't even get to our incense station, and

Have forfeited. Not a single person has
Ever made it to end. No one ever
Reaches the last stick, or
Ever makes the godly pizza.

They're all pathetic, the lot
Of them! And I must say, if that

Wimpy Sweet And Sour Kingdom attacks
Our bastion I hope they're prepared to lose!
Repugnant non believers of the holy pizza
Shouldn't even be allowed to walk this world!
Haha, I'm right! I'm so right
It scares me! Remember to worship our
Pizza God if you're visiting. We have strict

Protocol, tight border control!
If you dare disrespect the
Zza, you're outta here! Praise the
Zza, praise the holy pizza!
At any rate, those other kingdoms, they're

Worse than mine! None of them worship the zza,
I wish they'd forfeit from being at
The top of Satiation Kingdom, because let's face the music
Here, I'm the true,

Ultimate number one Kingdom, and I'll
Stomp on all the rest.

Come hither and witness
Our rise to the top! Soon, I
Might even dethrone
Everyone above me! So, come

Hither and watch me take everyone out.
I'm going to do all I can
To spread the
Holy pizza around!
Everyone should praise the zza! I'll
Remove everyone from my kingdom who questions the zza. Heh, enjoy your stay!"

The saucy skies outside everyone's windows was bright and beautiful in the southeastern, sky high kingdom known as Pizzaville. The pepperoni clouds were greasy, the various demons were living their best lives. It was yet another busy day for all the demons. Citizens, and visitors alike. But, for one particular high profile demon, not everything was was cheesy goodness.

Sitting at a large pretzel shaped desk had been a rather tall spiky, white haired demon with bangs fading into a saucy orange. Pizza shaped ears with pepperoni on them, cheesy, yellow skin, someone could bake a calzone on his chin if they really wanted to. Red spots on their hands that looked like juicy pepperoni, the demon scribbled away at his desk, sighing. Boring brown suit what felt like a million papers he let out a groan as he put his pen down for a moment reading over the hundreds of stupid requests left to him.

"Sir Mayor Pretzel Crust,

It would appear that there is not enough budget for this year's musical festival. This must be some kind of mistake. We would very much appreciate it if you could appoint a new school board committee. We believe the funds have possibly been misplaced or stolen."

Crumbling the paper into a ball, he slammed his head on the desk. Blah, blah, blah, funds stolen this, this must be a mistake that. It's all about money, money, money. If people prayed to the holy pizza more, this mind numbing stupidity would never happen. But, it's not like he could write that. Throwing the leaflet against the wall, he let out a scream.

Boring, boring, boring. Being a mayor of this city was so boring. He could hardly believe how mind numbing this boring job was. Running this stupid incorporated sky village of Pizzaville was the worst. But, nothing could be done. He was stuck in this in this career until the day he perished. He had been here six hundred years uncontested. He bet he'd be trapped here another two thousand.

"Your honor, what's wrong?" a high alto voice asked.

Running into the office had been a short husky younger masculine appearing demon with spiky orange hair that had been scarlet red at the scalp. Pulled into two stringy twintails, he had brown bunny ears that looked like pizza crust. Brown eyes much bigger and brighter than his tiny red ones, he, too adorned a boring brown suit. Cheesy yellow skin like his, he, too, had pepperoni beauty marks upon his hands.

"Stop calling me that, Pizza Bagel Bunny it's disgusting," the mayor groaned.

"It's not like I can call you Mushroom Pizza God in the office," Pizza Bagel Bunny whispered. "Ahem, it's Vice Mayor Breadcrumbs. What's troubling you, Your honor?"

"You know what's up," the mayor groaned. "Everyone always writing annoying letters complaining about the budget this, money that, stolen funds, blah, blah, blah and writing to me expecting me to magically fix all their problems. Do I look like I got all the answers here?"

"About that, the other three want to discuss that with you, actually," Vice Mayor Breadcrumbs pointed at the door as he said such. But.

Bump, bump, bump.

"Can this day be over already? For the love of--." He kept slamming his head on his desk as he continued.

"Your honor, it will be five o'clock before you know it. Now, could we please discuss the issues brought up?"

Snapping his fingers, the mayor kept his head on his desk. It couldn't be five o'clock any sooner! He was getting quite tired of this city's constant needs. But, he could never bring himself to resign, and no one ever bothered to do elections. He was a prisoner to this position forever. Mayor for life, baby.

"Your honor, pick up your head!" a bass voice cried.

Squeeze.

"I told you to stop calling me that stupid title," the mayor groaned.

"What do you expect us to say, Mushroom Pizza God?!" an alto voice cried.

"Yeah, your honor, if we said that in public earshot people would flip, you moron!" a tenor, but feminine voice cried.

Saying his true name almost loud enough for everyone to hear had been a feminine demon with cheesy yellow skin, bright orange hair and a crusty brown scalp, her hair had been pulled down into a low ponytail that went down to about her chest. Adorning a lady suit that was boring and brown like all the rest, he wanted to throw a rock, Pizza Calzone Monster looked so droll in fancy wear.

"Yes, I very much do, Pizza Calzone Monsters," the mayor groaned. But, he had soon been silenced.

"Excuse me, in this office, I am D- Rep Rye," she complained.

"We're a pizza incorporated village state," the mayor groaned. "Not a Bread city."

"Bread, pizza, same thing, do you job, Your Honor!" the bass voice cried.

Complaining in the corner had been a tall, cheesy yellow skinned masculine appearing demon with orange messy bangs that had formed a crimson red peruke for some reason. This stupid olden time demon, they really didn't get it at all, did they? He shouldn't have to deal with stolen funds claims at all, but no, leave it to the mayor.

"I am doing my job, Sicilian Pizza King!" the mayor shouted. But, a shoe had soon been thrown his way.

"That R Rep Rye to you while in the office!" Sicilian Pizza King shouted. "You really want people to find out, don't you?"

"If it'll get people to stop submitting stupid requests, maybe!" He threw the shoe back as he shouted.

Standing in the corner with a load of papers in her hands had been a tall feminine demon with chest length orange hair and a brown crusty scalp flaming pink eyebrows, she had crimson red eyes like pepperoni. Small stringy sideburn, her fancy dress was so boring and brown, he wanted to paint his entire office rainbow.

"Let me guess, you have something annoying to say too, don't you Tomato Pie Elf?" the mayor groaned.

"That's Governor Tomato Basil to you!" Tomato Pie Elf cried. "Can we please be serious now?"

"Whatever." The Mayor folded his arms as he said such.

Everyone annoyingly discussing about the so called stolen money from the school budgets, he tuned all that egregious nonsense out. Blah, blah, blah, blah, he read the same letter they did. Does anyone ever stop talking? No one in this office ever shuts up, do they? Be quiet already, he gets it by now. There's a lot of money problems. Have the school budget team do something about it!

"Hello? Are you even listening?" Governor Tomato Basil asked, slamming her hands on the mayor's desk. "We're saying the money for the public school's music budget was embezzled or stolen! We need to launch an investigation."

"Someone stole their budget? Tough luck, then," the mayor responded. "They can do without a music program. Aren't most of the students tone deaf anyway?"

"No?! Who told you that?" R Rep Rye asked. "That's not true at all!"

"Seriously, who told you that? D Rep Rye parroted.

"I would like to know that too, actually," Vice Mayor Breadcrums chimed in.

"Unlike all of you, I'm the one forced to attend all the village concerts and have to listen to their horrible voices and instrument playing!" the mayor groaned. "None of these demons can sing or play an instrument to save their life! Cancel the music program for all I care!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

"Dear, the Head of the Education Department of Pizzaville,

I hereby request you close the music department in all your public schools. None of your youths can sing or play the instruments right, and it is a sore on our community. Hundreds of complaints have been flooding in that their voices are shaking the walls and cracking the glass of their businesses. We have decided that from here on, we will no longer be providing funds effective immediately.

Do not write to me again involving the issue about the misplaced budget, it will not be replaced. Consider the music program scheduled for termination. After the next break, cancel them indefinitely, that is final. There will be no negotiations. Consider this your only warning, or I will see to it that there will be violent measures.

— Mayor Pretzel Crust.

Snatch.

"Cancel the music program?!" R Rep Rye cried. "You don't have the authority to do that!"

"I do, and it's about time we get rid of this music program in the schools anyway!" the mayor cried.

"Can't you have a little more faith in them?" D Rep Rye asked. "They're really trying their best!"

"Yeah, right, sure they are, of course you'd say that," the mayor bit back. "You've never had to sit in the audience at their horrendous concerts!"

"Can't you at least reconsider?" Vice Mayor Breadcrumbs asked. "This could affect the Golden Bread Dynasty on the ground, you know. What happens up here sends shockwaves down to them."

"Does it look like I care about the Golden Bread Dynasty?!" the mayor cried. "They're stuck in ancient demon times while we're moving forward! Why do you think we split ourselves off from them in the first place, hmm?"

"They still rely on us, you know?" Vice Mayor Breadcrumbs said with a somber look on his face. "You can't make the schools close their music program. Please?"

Slam.

Slamming his hand down on the table, a fiery look appeared on the mayor's face. Ah, shut up, shut up every single one of them. Why couldn't that stupid bread dynasty just completely secede at this point already? They had already been so far out of reach from them. And, besides, who cares about them? They were in the bottom twenty in Satiation Kingdom. No one respected them anyway.

"My decision is final! Now, get out of my office and all of you go back to your own!" the mayor screeched.

Stupid lot leaving his office at once, he slammed the wooden pretzel door shut. Who cares about that stupid bread dynasty anyway? He sure didn't. He never would. They could fend for themselves and die for all he cared. Not a single one of those demons were in the right century at all! He can't believe everyone in this governing body had disgusting bread names too, him included. If only he could shed this stupid association by now.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

Little hand speeding past the four, a wide smirk appeared on the mayor's face. Soon, soon he would be out of this stupid office. He could kiss his mayor duties away for the day. No more budgets to look over. No more annoying government officials from other departments to yap his ears off. No one to complain about this and that. And no mentions of that stupid bread dynasty.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

He watched in silence as the big hand barely moved. Multiple annoying school board officials dropping by his office begging him to discuss the budget, he almost wanted to throw them out the window. Leave him alone. He has no intention of compromising on that. Education in this kingdom was bottom of the barrel. Deal with their own problems. Stop bringing it up to him.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

Large hand barely speeding past the four, he slammed his head back on top of his desk. Someone free him from this mind numbing job already. Why was everyone so needy in this village? Build up their own funds for this and that in a funding campaign or something. He can't fix every little issue they bring up to him, like, come on now. He's a mayor, not a god!

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

Paperwork piling up, the mayor wished to rip every single sheet of wasted resources up and rain it down from the chimney. Volcano Insurance Budget, who even submitted this stupid paper to him to his office? Slamming a veto over it with a red stamper, the paper had been crumpled up into nothing. What volcano? Was this meant for that infernal nonsense kingdom Pitaya Land? There isn't any molten mountain here!

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.

Big hand moving its way past the ten, the mayor wore a big grin. Ten minutes left of this stupid job, ten. And, if anyone demanded that he stay an extra hour and look into more budget requests, they could kiss his big mushroom buttocks because that ain't happening. Sweet, sweet, five o'clock, come faster baby. Come right now, right this second. Stamping what felt like a million more vetoes, he cracked his knuckles.

Beep.

It's five o'clock baby.

Zooming off his desk, the mayor plopped down his time card. Five o'clock, beautiful, he's outta this stupid joint. So long, stupid mayor duties. Farewell, dumb brown office. His real day is about to begin. Heading for the Crust Mobile, he could hear annoying voices soon come after him one after another.

"Mayor, please come back, we have a meeting scheduled for six o'clock!" a meek voice cried.

"We have other things we need to discuss, please don't go home just yet!" another meek voice cried.

Slam.

Doors shut, the mayor had soon sped away in the Crust Mobile. These annoying people in his office could deal with their own meetings now. It's five o'clock baby. And, five o'clock was the holy hour. The beautiful, scrumptious holy hour. Who did these morons think they were telling him what to do, huh? Get out of here, it's over for the day!

Speeding off to his home, the mayor threw his boring, stuffy, ugly brown suit immediately. Goodbye, garbage disposal. He ought to burn this thing and throw it out! Shoes thrown underneath the bed, a white sweatshirt with a pizza path and sleeves with word pizza had been tossed over his shoulders. Mushroom pizza sticker over a bright orange pocket reading, Pizza Is a Veggie in all capital letters, the light brown mushrooms attached to his hips teetered. Pizza tail swishing, he let out a giggle as he placed the pepperoni sliced swords over his naked hands.

The holy hour would soon be upon him.

Phone ringing, he cried out voice command after voice command. His Loyal Subjects group chat opened up, he could see his beautiful following keep asking the same questions. We on today? Will we be meeting today? I got the new incense you asked for, Sender from the Pizza Gods above. Smirking, the pepperoni sun shone over his face. Beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and it looks like he might gain some new followers soon. Wonderful, amazing. Praise the Zza!

Pizza oil slicked across his hair, he laced on a little calzone sauce over his lids. The time was almost here. He could feel it that today, all his loyal subjects would be here. Attendance was booming lately. He, the Mushroom Pizza God couldn't be more thrilled by this development. More people had decided to leave their boring lives and seek enlightenment with them. Wonderful, a wise decision.

Slicking his bangs back, everything shined. Beautiful, he was no longer the stupid Mayor Pretzel Crust, he was now the Mushroom Pizza God. Clasping his swords together, he gazed at the window. Holy Lord Zza, could they hear him? He's sorry for not communicating with him all day, he had his boring mayor duties to attend. But, rest assured, his loyal followers have something blessed in store for him today.

Garage all fired up and ready to go, he put on a smirk. Come loyal followers, come and submit themselves to the Holy Zza together. He could feel it in his mushroom converted bones. Soon, he would have one thousand members, no, more.

->

Fifteen Minutes Later.

Loyal subjects all flocking into the basement, a familiar rabbit had soon joined them. Pizza bagel swords covering his hands, he could see his beautiful round pizza bagel feet and pepperoni tentacles. Amazing, wonderful, gorgeous. Wasn't it freeing to stop hiding his real beauty? Pizza Bagel Bunny, Holy Lord Zza's most loyal subject next to him. Pocket on his hoodie screaming in all capital letters, Pizza is Life, he couldn't agree more. It is life as the holy pizza god intended!

Next beautiful loyal subject joining them today, he could see the calzone swords covering Pepperoni Calzone Monster's hands, Pizza Is A Fruit on their sweatshirt pocket, their gorgeous calzone shaped tentacles and tail were practically glowing. Yes, yes, embrace it. Embrace their lord and savior and how he intended them all to look in His vision!

Olden peruke subject strutting in next, their green contacts were singing the praises of the Zza above. That's right, that was their true eye color. Not black, but green. Cilician Pizza weaponized gloves covering their filthy palms, their sweatshirt pocket read, Pizza Is Mine. Pizza was theirs alright, it belonged to all of them, everyone here.

Last chosen one arriving, the beautiful elf's tomato pie gauntlets had been slipped over their palms. Yes, beautiful, nice and golden brown, just how it was intended. Sweatshirt pocket reading, Pizza Foreva, he smirked. That's right, pizza forever. Forget that stupid bread, and forget everything else. Pizza forever!

Remaining loyal subjects floating in, he lit the precious pizza pie candle. The time had come, the holy hour had finally arrived. Doing a silent headcount, he hid a giggle in his pockets. Yes, wonderful, there was a couple hundred of them today. Impressive attendance. He couldn't ask for more! Okay, maybe he could.

"Good evening, my loyal subjects," Mushroom Pizza God greeted, candle burning bright. He then rose his swords in the air as he continued. "Praise Pizza!"

"Praise Pizza!" Pizza Bagel Bunny chanted bowing.

"Our lord and savior, Pizza!" Pizza Calzone monster chanted, bowing.

"Pizza is love!" Sicilian Pizza King chanted, bowing.

"Pizza is life!" Tomato Pie Elf chanted, bowing.

"Praise The Holy Zza!" everyone chanted.

"Messenger from the Pizza Gods above us, I ask you, how shall we seek enlightenment today?" Pizza Bagel Bunny asked.

Sifting through his pockets, the Mushrooms of Enlightenment had been removed from his cloth stomach pit. Holy lord, Zza, they have the shrooms. Their beautiful communication tool they sought after so greatly. They would all eat one, no, two, ten, today. Oh, lord zza how he missed hearing their beautiful voice.

"We're running low on shroom fuel, wouldn't you say?" Mushroom Pizza God asked. "Tell me, my loyal subjects, when was the last time you ate a Mushroom of Enlightenment?"

"Two weeks ago," Pepperoni Calzone Monster said, groaning. "My Lord, that's two weeks too many! I could eat four, ten, no one hundred. Holy Zza I miss hearing your voice!"

"Four days ago," Pizza Bagel Bunny cried. "I feel his voice fading within me! I need my Pepperoni Eye to open again!"

"Worry not, my loyal subject, that will be arranged!" Mushroom Pizza God cried.

"You have my gratitude Messenger of Holy Zza!" Pizza Bagel Bunny cried, bowing.

"I haven't gotten a nice taste of our holy shrooms in a month now!" Sicilian Pizza King cried. "My God, I've lost my way without you! This mushroom shortage is driving me bonkers!"

"I must confess, Messenger of the Pizza Gods, I too haven't gotten a sweet taste of them shrooms in awhile either!" Tomato Pie Elf cried. "I feel so empty without being able to hear the lord's will channeled into me!"

Shrooms!

Shrooms!

Shrooms!

Shrooms!

Shrooms!

Shrooms!

Chants getting louder, the Mushroom Pizza God could not help but silently click his tongue at some of the information revealed. A mushroom shortage again? That was the second time this month! How will his poor followers be able to communicate with their lord and savior now? He needed to sprinkle some pizza sauce on the crops outside at the most early convenience.

"Of course, worry not, there's plenty of Mushrooms of Enlightenment for us all today!" Mushroom Pizza God. "Everyone burn the incense for our lord and savior!"

"As you wish, Messenger from the Pizza Gods above!" the crowd cried.

Incense burned, he swore he smelled something rotten, but, he kept on a brave face. Ah, whatever that was, it was nothing! One of his loyal subjects just burned the wrong scent today! No matter, soon, they shall all be in an audience with their lord and savior! He had waited all day for this beautiful moment!

"Great, now, my loyal subject, it's time, everyone, grab your shrooms!" Mushroom Pizza God cried.

Yoink, yoink, yoink, yoink, yoink.

Sniff, sniff, sniff.

But, he could soon smell that rancid scent. Where was that nasty stench coming from? It was interrupting the holy hour. But, he could not wander now, not during the ritual. He couldn't keep Lord Zza waiting! They were waiting for his guidance to guide their people to them! He couldn't wait another minute.

"Shroomy, how I missed you, my beloved!" Pizza Bagel Bunny cried, eyes practically shining. "Our lord and savior, I'm coming!"

Munch, munch, munch.

"Sweet, sweet, sweet fungus!" Pepperoni Calzone Monster chanted. "Come to momma!"

Munch, munch, munch.

"You hear that belly, you will soon be complete again," Sicilian Pizza King cried. "Down the hatch!"

Munch, munch, munch.

"Soon, I'll be a complete woman once again, just like Lord Zza envisioned me to be!" Tomato Pie Elf cried.

Munch, munch, munch.

Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch!

Loyal subjects enlightened, he rose the final shroom up towards the candle. Everyone had finally seen the light. Once again, they had all reached enlightenment. Nibbling on the shroom, Mushroom Pizza God could feel his senses heightened. He's coming, his lord and savior, he'll be there soon! Please, wait for him to arrive.

Munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch, munch!

Welcome To Lord Zza's Magical Sauce Room.

Rainbow room with pepperoni stickers everywhere, a magical triangle faced man with pepperoni all over his face sat upon their throne with an angry look on their face. Everyone bowing down, he could feel Lord Zza's sharp gaze on him. Oh, no, had he failed to do the ritual correctly? He's not worthy, he's not worthy at all!

"Gracious Lord of Pizza, what is troubling you?" Mushroom Pizza God asked, bowing his head upon the carpet.

"How dare you allow mushroom zombies to join us in our ritual!" Lord Zza cried.

"Milord, I am confused, we only consume the finest of mushrooms to seek enlightenment with you!" Mushroom Pizza God cried. "Did we do something not to your liking?"

"My Lordship, are my tentacles not saucy enough for you?" Pizza Bagel Bunny asked. "My apologies, it won't happen again!"

"Is it my hair, did I not put enough pizza grease in it?" Pepperoni Calzone Monster asked. "You have my utmost remorse! I should have spent longer in the sauce closet!"

"Had I gone too long being able to hear your voice?" Sicilian Pizza King asked. "Promise I wasn't ignoring your cries!"

"Do I not appear to be the right woman in your image, my lord and savior?" Tomato Pie Elf asked. "I'll try harder to be perfect for you, Milord!"

"Please enlighten us on what we did wrong, Lord Zza!" the crowd chanted.

Smash, smash, smash, smash.

"You lowly peasants, look around you!" Lord Zza cried. "How dare you allow mushroom zombies into our secret room together! Defeat them all at once!"

Undead shrooms floating around everywhere in rainbow pastel colors, Mushroom Pizza God rolled up his sleeves. Where did this little buggers come from? How dare they ruin their audience with their savior, the Holy Pizza Lord Zza! All foreign objects must be expelled, eliminated. Zombie shrooms, bad. Very bad. Time to eliminate.

"Of course, my lord, anything for you!" everyone chanted.

Large, adult demon sized fungi coming towards him, Mushroom Pizza God clashed his swords together. It's time to get on destroying these things. How did these little zombies get here? He swore he was taking good care of the Mushrooms of Enlightenment Garden. Had one of their loyal subjects tried to sabotage them? When he were to learn who did this, they would be removed immediately, mark his words. Such person did not deserve to be in the presence of their Lord Zza!

Bonk, bonk, bonk.

Multiple zombie shrooms decimated, the questions had begun to unfold themselves into an ugly little bow. Who dared to do this to them, hmm? It had to have been one of their own members, but who? Who in the world would dare betray their holy savior like this? He thought he had maintaining the little shroom garden well! Someone had to have planted zombie seeds in there and after holy hour is over, he'd find out who.

Bonk, bonk, bonk.

Other shrooms eliminated, he studied his loyal subjects one after another. Which one of these hundreds could be the traitor? Pizza Bagel Bunny? But, he ruled him out. No way, he would never sabotage him. He was his most loyal subject! Slapping an x mark on that idea, he gazed at Pepperoni Calzone Monster.

Could Pepperoni Calzone Monster be the traitor here? But, he crossed that point out, too. Ah, no, she wouldn't ever dare betray Lord Zza, she was practically their wife to be at this point. What about Sicilian Pizza King? They hadn't been eating the Mushrooms of Enlightenment in a month now.

Stamping an x on that idea as well, he ruled out Tomato Pie Elf while he was at it. These four were the most loyal, next to him, and besides, they would never dare do anything to disservice their lord! It had to be someone else, but who. He would find who it is and expel them as soon as possible.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Hold on a second.

That was--.

That noise.

Kingdom warfare trumpets tooting along, Mushroom Pizza God placed his hand beside his triangular sliced ears. Come again? What was that noise just now? How could another kingdom challenge them to Kingdom Warfare now, excuse him? It's Holy Hour now, begone. Do not disturb them while they were in an audience with Lord Zza!

"Pitiful, a peasant kingdom is attacking your bastion right now," Lord Zza chided. "Could you go get rid of this little Golden Bread Dynasty peasants and disgusting burger freak for me, my children?" They then turned to their five most loyal subjects. "What are you five doing? Go to the Bastion now!"

"Yes, Milord!" Pizza Bagel Bunny, Pepperoni Calzone Monster, Sicilian Pizza King and Tomato Pie Elf cried.

"What are you waiting for?" Lord Zza demanded. "You're my messenger. Hurry up and grab the lighter and get out of here!"

"Yes, my lord and savior!" Mushroom Pizza God cried.

Lighter slipped into his bottom pocket, Mushroom Pizza God made a run for it. Gritting his teeth, he could hardly believe it at all. Sweet and Sour Kingdom had the nerve to attack them? During holy hour of all things? How dare they, those stains upon this world will be burned at the stake, mark his words. Jumping towards the crust zipline, he prepared himself.

It's time to eliminate some disgusting breadsticks.

***

"I should have known those infernal demons from the Golden Bread Dynasty would attack us! We
Split off from those olden time demons for a reason
Here! They don't worship Lord Zza, so, why should we ever be
On the same turf as them!
Ugh, and they have the nerve to try and
Lump in that dying kingdom, Sweet and Sour Kingdom into trying to takeover our land! We
Decided to split off from them and

Head for the skies because they're so far behind in the times!
And, there's no way I'll ever return to the ground. We
Very much seceded from the Golden Bread Dynasty for a reason!
Every single one of those demons has no enlightenment. They

Just, they don't believe in our Lord Zza!
Ugh, can you believe that? So, we had to
Secede and get away from
Those non-believers! And, it would seem

Everything cracked when we
Removed ourselves from the dynasty. Those
Absolutely unenlightened
Demons can't seem to hold their own without us, but
It's their own fault! Had they just believed in our lord, they
Could have been in the top ten with us! But,
Ah, no, that pitiful Pumpernickel Petunia Weaver,
They had to go and talk our
Ears off to claim, that our
Deity isn't real!

They're wrong, for the record!
How could they be so blind? I, the Mushroom Pizza God, need to
Enlighten them! So, yeah, surprise, surprise, that's why my stupid name in the

Government is Mayor Pretzel Crust, because
Our stupid government would not
Let me change my name to Mayor Mushroom Pizza! But,
Don't get me wrong, I am not Mayor Pretzel Crust! That's just the
Egregious costume I am forced to wear in public! I
Never wanted to have this

Bread name! D
Rep Rye and R Rep Rye feel the same!
Even Vice Mayor Breadcrumbs,
And Governor Tomato Basil, we
Despise our public names! We

Do not wish to be addressed by these, and
Yet, we are forced to be known that way by all those others. I'm
No longer a part of that stupid bread dynasty!
And I will not rejoin the bread union! We have left for the
Skies so long ago now, and
The fact the Golden Bread Dynasty is crashing and burning is not my fault!
Yes, it's not my fault at all! We were planning on

Leaving whether they ever saw the light anyway! We're
Our own nation, and we're independent. And, also, we're in the top ten! They're
Not, they're in the bottom twenty! And,
Guess what's close to happening, they're

About to collapse! So, color me
Green, and call me a liar because I have no need for these stains
On our nation. That's why we're our own!"

Reaching a large empty field with multiple crop circles, a stupid plant demon had been on the battlefield with a bunch of lesser Golden Bread Dynasty citizens he never even bothered to learn the name of. Oh, great, that's all they had on them, huh? How pathetic. Did they really think they could beat them in kingdom warfare with those miserable demons who could barely do any magic?

Bread bearers holding baskets of flowers, he tried to hold in a laugh. Ah, he sees, they're still as weak and old fashioned as when they left for the sky. Couldn't even rope in the leader of the dynasty, Pumpernickel Petunia Weaver, like, come on now, did this demon from a dying kingdom know what they were doing at all? Sweet and Sour Kingdom was pathetic.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Objective: Finish baking the holy pizza in the magical oven, and light the ten incenses in the stations. Bomb enemies if necessary.

Warning: It is forbidden to destroy the towers until at least one incense is burned.

"You people still believe in that phony god of yours?" the Golden Bread Dynasty asked. "No wonder it was so easy to plant those zombie mushrooms through the tube! You're too busy playing your little worshipping games in that garage of yours!"

Boom.

Little pizza tossed, Mushroom Pizza God couldn't help but feel a wave of rage. Ah, he sees, those stupid lesser demons of the world below had learned about their pipe system. How disgusting of them. He would expel these monsters of their lives, little burger monster over their included. Disgusting, hamburgers. He would kill them all yet.

"Wow, for a group of god worshippers you sure were easy to attack!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "I sense a lot of spiritual energy in this kingdom. If I beat you, I can bring back my fallen demon comrades!"

Boom.

"You think it'll be that easy, do you?" Pizza Bagel Bunny asked. "Wait until you see this!"

Snap.

Incense tables moving around, he could see the looks of absolute shock on the demon's faces. Yes, that's right, look amazed, look absolutely stunned! There's no way they'll be able to keep track of the scents now! He could almost taste it, soon, the magical pizza would be in the oven, and these idiots could all die. That's right, they're going down.

Remember the original placement of the incense tables and burn them in the order accordingly.

"What?" the stupid Golden Bread Dynasty demons asked.

"A game of memory?! You, what kind of kingdom is this?!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "I didn't see the tables move, surely they're in the same spot!"

Beep, beep, beep.

Incorrect placement, Jalapeno Burger Plant shall receive a gracious penalty of ten towers self destructing in three, two, one.

Boom!

"What?!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "What do you mean my own towers self destruct if I get the order wrong?!"

Boom, boom, boom!

"What is this, they're so strong?!" the bread demon cried.

"I can't keep up!" the bread demon cried.

"Lowly peasants like you will never guess the order correctly!" Pepperoni Calzone Monster cried. "Sicilian Pizza King, Tomato Pie Elf, get in position!"

"This is the first one!" Mushroom Pizza God cried. "Lord Zza, this scent is for you, our lord and savior!"

"Second!" Pizza Bagel Bunny Cried.

"Third!" Pepperoni Calzone Monster shouted.

"Fourth!" Sicilian Pizza King cried.

"Fifth!" Tomato Pie Elf cried.

"Lord Zza, we light these incenses for you!"

Incense light in the correct order so far: five.

"You can't be serious!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "They're cheating!"

Slice, slice, slice.

Sword doing its duty, the incense lighting continued. Cheating? How dare these stupid fiends say that word. They would never cheat their lord! Who did they think they were? Everything in the correct position, he let down one last strike to that stupid hamburger's belly. No mercy for this monster who interrupted holy hour. They're going down, mark his words.

Other fiends cut up like a piece of paper, it was soon time. Magical Pizza Hour. He could hardly wait a moment longer. Pizza Bagel Bunny rolling the dough, he could feel the jitters flow through him. Would this pie be to Lord Zza's liking? After all, he was a lowly peasant who let zombie mushrooms go unchecked! He wasn't worthy, he wasn't worthy!

Toppings soon applied, he could feel it in his mushrooms bones. This one would be the perfect pizza for their lord. Were they watching? Crunching down the rest of their stupid towers, the oven had soon been about ready to ding. He could feel the tension mounting. More than half of the pathetic army eliminated he could see the fiends trying to go after the oven.

"Not on my watch you don't!" Sicilian Pizza King cried. "Sauce of Enlightenment!"

Ding.

Poisonous sauce rain taking the enemies out in one fell swoop, Mushroom Pizza God removed the magical pizza from the oven. Beautiful scent flowing on through, he almost wanted to slap a bomb into that plant demon's mouth and eliminate them right here, right now. But, no, he couldn't do that during holy hour, Lord Zza is watching!

The Pizza has finished baking.

Towers destroyed: twenty out of twenty. Enemies defeated: ten out of ten.

"You can't be serious!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "I didn't get an attack in at all!"

Starved.

Enemies retreating to the ground below, everyone returned to holy hour. Lord Zza forgiving them for their mushroom sins, holy hour came to an end. Everyone returning to their homes, the stupid, boring, Mayor Pretzel Crust had soon returned from the ashes. Returning to his office in the morning, he scribbled away.

Writing up law after law to force a barricade in between the ground and the sky, Mayor Pretzel Crust's eyebrows twitched as his boring workday continued. He would make sure those slimy little Golden Bread Dynasty rats would never tamper with them again. How dare they interrupt holy hour. Secession met secession, period. Signing paper after paper, he smirked as he stamped down his little signature on the dotted line.

Let that bread kingdom die once and for all after this.

---

It should go without saying that what you just read was about a cult. Next week: Palace of Pears.

 

[Palamon]

Palace of Pears: Happy Virtual Reality Land

---

"Greetings, salutations, I
Regard you all with the utmost of a good morrow. I'm Pear Bat Princess, your
Ever loving ruler of the
Especially distant kingdom known as
The Palace of Pears. We're pretty laid back and
I welcome all kinds of demon races here. I
Never turn away anyone. Unlike that
Grotesque kingdom, Pizzaville! Can you believe that they
Seceded from the Golden Bread Dynasty over some

Wobbly dissolve like that!
Every single one of those pizza
Lovers is out of their mind! I
Cannot believe them! And,
Of course their resolve had the Golden Bread Dynasty almost close to collapse.
My kingdom is in the top ten, but
Err, maybe I'm going

To fall soon, because you see
Our Kingdom is

Pretty deeply embroiled in gaming,
And everything is decided in virtual reality, I'm very much in reality fairly
Little at this point,
Aside from doing my princess duties, which
Cannot be done in the game world.
Eh, but honestly, reality is

Oh, so boring, but I know
For the most part, I have to govern. As a

Princess, though, I decide how
Everything pans out.
And, we have decided to mostly abandon
Reality and decide everything in the virtual game
Space. And, no, this

Is nothing like Pie Plaza, they

All decide everything through physical sports.
My kingdom decides everything in virtual reality.

Please remember the difference because there is an
Especially different outcome between sports
And virtual reality. Virtual
Reality doesn't hurt, it's much more worthwhile. Electronic sports are just so much

Better, and if I had a choice, I would never leave.
Ah, is that a problem? Well, it shouldn't be!
The way I run things is fine. But, a lot seem to question my practices.

Perhaps they just don't get it. We over here in the Palace of Pears just love virtual
Reality. And that's how it goes.
Is that a problem? We all run our Kingdoms quite differently.
No two kingdoms are run the same. Pizzaville is pretty
Chaotic though, and I don't
Even know how they managed to make it to the top ten! Also, I'm aware of
Sweet and Sour Kingdom
Seeking revenge, but there's

Absolutely no way they'll attack me!
Nope! Why would they go and
Do something like that to me? And

Yes, our bastion is inside virtual reality, too
Our Kingdom Warfare involves an intense game of
Ultimate Laser Tag and some other
Very fun things, I don't really care for violence, so
Everything is done in Virtual

Reality. While, yes, we do have a real bastion, it almost never
Ever gets used.
And how do we remain in the top ten this way?
Can't tell you, because, let's be real for a second, I don't truly
Have a clue. But like all the other top ten, the way I run things is just
Effective enough where I
Don't fall out of

The top ten. And, honestly, let me go and be
Honest here, we'll probably remain in the top ten
Even though most kingdoms don't attack us.

Guess they just fail to understand how our kingdom works, but
Ah, when Kingdoms do attack we don't always win.
Might as well get that out of the way. We're
Err, if I had to guess near the bottom of the top ten. Virtual
Reality can be pretty cruel sometimes, but we'll be

Keeping at it. I don't
Intend to surrender. I'll
Never surrender. One day, we're
Going to be the number one Kingdom in Satiation Kingdom,
Don't forget that! We'll climb to the top
Once the other Kingdoms challenge us! But, that
Might not ever happen. Not a single

One of the Kingdoms in the top
Five ever seems to attack us,

That's pretty strange, if you ask me, but I keep my
Head held high and
Embrace tomorrow, because

We'll be the top Kingdom
Of Satiation Kingdom someday and
Rat out all those above me!
Let's get started with another new beautiful
Day in virtual reality! Headset on!"

The bright green, jade skies had been quite dim for an early morning in the rather distant land of the Palace of Pears the furthest, nearly isolated Kingdom within Satiation Kingdom. The emerald raindrops were falling, spreading their acids were breaking the world around him, but all the demons were blissfully unaware of such as their Virtual Reality Headsets were slapped on.

But, for one particular high profile demon, disappearing into the game world was not yet possible for the day. Waking up from her bed chamber had been a rather short pink skinned youthful appearing demon with shoulder length sparkly green hair with shiny light pink scalp. Cowlick on the top of her head, she rubbed her eyes. Acid rain again. Gazing at her virtual reality headset, she almost wanted to jump right in. No, everything was fine.

Pure white bat wings behind her, she gazed out her window for a moment swirling fire everywhere, she turned towards the opposite direction. It was nothing, right, of course, nothing at all. Everything was completely fine. Fine and dandy, hunky dory. As beautiful as a her pear self. Right, of course. There was nothing going on out there. Just another fine, sunny day.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Miss Pear Bat Princess, it's time to get ready!" a voice called.

Once again reaching for her virtual reality headset, her sparkly, green-yellow eyes stared back at her. Maybe it was time to go play a game and forget all this. It's not like anyone would say anything. All her citizens, they would be happy to see her in Juicy Fruit Adventure. But, she knew it was too early to run away now. She had a job to do as everyone's princess. Flapping towards the door, she twisted the knob.

Standing at the door had been a short, light green skinned mermaid creature. Olive green hair getting lighter towards the ends, she had a ponytail slung over her shoulder falling towards her waist pulled into a wavy scrunchie. Six hot dogs popping out of her sides, they had been rather ghostly. She always wanted to turn away whenever she saw such. She had been reminded of that time when Sausage Syndicate attacked all those years ago. She had failed to act as a proper princess when that happened. She could never forgive herself. Brown shirt with googly eyed avocadoes on it, she put herself in Happy as a Pear mode.

"Greetings, Avocado Ghost Mermaid," Pear Bat Princess greeted. "Lovely morning today, wouldn't you say?"

"Lovely morning today!" Avocado Ghost Mermaid cried. "Let's get you ready. Squeezed Lime Ogre finished ironing your dress just now." She extended her hand as she said such.

Smile glued to her face, the princess could hear a loud explosion from the outside, but she tuned such out. Everything was perfectly fine. Fine and dandy, absolutely perfect and great, as usual. But, as she had been lost in perfection land, an annoying ghost had begun to yammer her ears off. Those infernal hot dog specters, stop reminding her of their existence, why don't they?

"And boom goes the shooting stars!" the hotdog ghosts cried. "Hehe hehe. A weak demon died just now, I bet. Join us, join us!"

"We don't know that, could you stop writing our citizens off at a whim?" Avocado Ghost Mermaid asked.

"Why is this entire kingdom in denial?!" the hotdog ghost cried. "Face the music, ya'll dying off one by one!"

Covering her ears, Pear Bat Princess tried to find an escape route. Somewhere, anywhere, to mute this annoying ghostly voice. Man, in the past few days that voice had been so much more annoying. Maybe she could go see an exorcist and delete those demons from this world. They had gotten way too comfortable with their host!

But, she knew such efforts would be futile. She had tried so many times over the years to get rid of these fiends, but it never worked. She swore, every time she had gotten in contact with the Legume Empire, these specters had only gotten stronger. But it was what it was. Nothing ever went her way, did it? Woe is her.

Standing outside the water closet had been a tall, yellow skinned androgynous demon with spiky green hair that faded into a lemony yellow. Horns on the top of their head, they had pointy ears that had quite the edge to them. Arms lower on their body on their hips instead of attached to their shoulders, where their shoulders would be had been plentiful of spikes. Sparkly green shirt with limes adorning frustrated faces on them, and some cut up limes, as well, they had webbed feet. Lime tail behind them, the princess gazed down at her pear tail. Maybe hers had looked dirty compared to Squeezed Lime Ogre's.

"Morning, princess," Squeezed Lime Ogre greeted. "Let's get you ready."

"Good morning," Pear Bat Princess responded. "Let's tackle today with a smile!"


"Right, lets." They pushed the princess into the water closet as they said such.

Cracked mirror staring back at her, Pear Bat Princess's smile had soon been glued to her. It was a lovely, beautiful morning again today. The sun was shining, the citizens were out exploring the mountains with joy and peace. Maybe she should join them on her hike. That would be a fun time, wouldn't it?

Ow.

Intense, metallic bristles carving through her head, tears streamed down the princess's face. Augh, Avocado Ghost Mermaid, how many times was she going to press down her hairbrush so hard? But, she numbed herself to the pain. Haha, silly little mermaid, such silly creatures, always pretending to be gentle. So funny.

"Sorry, princess, did I press down too hard again?" Avocado Ghost Mermaid asked.

"No, you're doing just fine!" Pear Bat Princess cried, voice getting squeaky.

"Okay, I'll continue," Avocado Ghost Mermaid said, bristling down even harder. "How do you want your hair today, princess?"

Ow.

"Heart shaped buns like usual!" She flinched as she cried such.

Rubbed bands practically twisted into her scalp, the princess tried to hide an eye twitch. Man, this silly ghost was being so rough today. Did she break her headset or something? Haha, better order her a new one! But, she continued to numb herself. Nope, nothing hurt, everything was fine. Everything was hunky dory, peachy keen, as beautiful of a pear as she was.

Heart shaped buns fragmented through the mirror, she pressed her hands onto the reflection in front of her. She could use a little bit more glitter. Tattered, ripped pajamas twisting a rather colorful image like a kaleidoscope, her ogre assistant soon handed her her outfit for the day. Unbuttoning the barely holding clasps, the magical swap took the water closet by storm.

Adorning a light green spaghetti strapped dress with a smiling pear on the belly, the little fruit had wings on it, white and pure like hers. Yellow ribbon belt, her black skirt had two little pears printed on the left and right side with no faces. Dress tattered and worn, she turned the other way. Her outfit was nice, sparkly, and pretty as usual. No battle scars anywhere!

"You picked the best outfit as usual, Squeezed Lime Ogre!" Pear Bat Princess cried. "It's shining like the sun!"

"Right," Squeezed Lime Ogre responded. "Let's get you to the kitchen. Honeydew Melon Maid's almost done cooking."

Ogre holding her hand tight, Pear Bat Princess hummed a little tune. What was Honeydew Melon Maid cooking today? Frog pea soup? What a wonderful way to start the morning! Every morning was so wonderful and amazing, she could hardly stand it. She was so happy, she could almost explode with glee.

"Good morning, princess," a tenor voice greeted, bowing.

"Good morning, Starfruit Jackal Prince," Pear Bat Princess greeted, bowing back. "Your dress looks so lovely today!"

Lifting up their head had been a tall, dark green skinned jackal demon with well groomed light yellow hair pulled into a jade green bun that had been as shiny as the forests outside. Adorning lime tinted cheeks, their tattered buttoned down dress had adorned multiple star shaped fruits on it. Long, lemony tail with a starfruit on the end of it, she turned away at the blood dripping behind them. Starfruit Jackal Prince was beautiful as usual! They might even envy her own!

"What's for breakfast this morning?" Avocado Ghost Mermaid asked.

"Ya know already!" the hotdog ghosts cried. "Beans, beans, and more beans!"

"Oh, frog bean soup, right?" Avocado Ghost Mermaid asked, speaking over her ghosts. "That's a wonderful breakfast!"

"Beans again, huh?" Squeezed Lime Ogre whispered. "What a pity."

Sweet froggy scent wafting through the kitchen, the princess put on a warm smile. Frog pea soup, her favorite. She could hardly wait to sip it all up and head to the palace. Seating herself in the golden pear chair, a cloth bib had soon been placed onto her. Fork and spoon lifted up, she soon licked her lips.

Walking over to the table with a stainless steel dome had been a short, dark green skinned demon with spiky green hair and light yellow, messy asymmetrical bangs. Melon shaped ears, his tiny green eyes looked like they had no life in them, but she turned her head to such. Honeydew Melon Maid, he looked so full of life like always! Button down shirt with honeydew melons on it with a dizzy symbol next to them, the plate had soon been placed down in front of her.

"Beans, Your Majesty," Honeydew Melon Maid said in a tired tone.

Big plate of pinto beans staring at her, Pear Bat Princess's eyes had begun to twitch. Beans, beans, beans, every single day. Ever since crops stopped growing, and all the woodland creatures had vanished, every single meal was beans. Closing her eyes, her smile glued itself to her face even tighter. Ah, wonderful, Frog Pea Soup again? Her favorite!

"Frog Pea Soup?" Pear Bat Princess cried. "You shouldn't have, Honeydew Melon Maid!"

"Beans again," Squeezed Lime Ogre whispered. "I wish this agricultural crisis would just disappear."

Gobbling up her lovely soup, she almost let out a belch. Covering her mouth, she gazed at everyone one by one. Everyone was looking so bright and happy today, what a wonderful day. She couldn't wait to face them all in Juicy Fruit Adventure later after her duties were done. This morning couldn't possibly go any slower!

"Princess," Honeydew Melon Maid said in a slow tone. "There is something we need to discuss when we get to the palace today."

Sipping her tea, the princess could feel a spiral coil inside her. Ah, that phrase again. There was something that needed to be discussed. She could feel herself grow bitter like marmalade. What did he want to talk about? Putting herself in the zone, she snapped her fingers. Oh, right! Their performance in Satiation Kingdom. That was it!

"Is it about raising the ranks in Satiation Kingdom?" Pear Beat Princess asked. "I'll try my best!"

"Huh?" Squeezed Lime Ogre accidently blurted out?

"What?" Avocado Ghost Mermaid asked, tilting her head.

"Come again, princess?" Starfruit Jackal Prince asked.

"No, Your Majesty, not that," Honeydew Melon Maid said slowly. "Something else."

Something else echoing in her eardrums, the princess broke into a sweat. Something else, oh no, she didn't see that coming. What something else could he possibly mean? Had she failed the Palace of Pears as a ruler? She shook her head to such. No, no, she doing fine. Right, fine and dandy. Perfectly normal. Nothing to worry herself over. This was just a slip of the tongue, right, right, he meant to say her standing in the top ten in Satiation Kingdom!

"You can talk about my placement in the top ten in the palace, okay?" Pear Bat Princess responded. "Take me to the palace."

"On it, Your Majesty," Honeydew Melon Maid replied. "I'll open the emergency shoot, and the wheeled carpet will take us there.

"Okay!" She giggled as she said such.

Loud explosions overtaking the skies as the wheeled carpet had wisped through, the princess shut her eyes. Hearing screams everywhere, such were soon drowned out with laughter. Everyone was having fun as usual. How she she wished she could join them! The virtual world was waiting for her after work today on a silver platter!

"Why did I decide to be brave and leave my house today?" a voice cried. "Help me! Someone help me!"

Team completely silent as the wheeled carpet kept going, the burning sky had only begun to get hotter by the second. Turning away, she waved as her glued smile was about close to melting. It was a nice summer day today, wasn't it? A totally wonderful bright, summer day. The same as always. It was the best time of year!

"I shouldn't have left home!" another voice cried. "Why did I think that was a good idea?"

"Help, help, someone!" another voice cried.

"You all just going to be quiet and act like people ain't dying out there?" the hotdog ghosts cried. "Hello, tweet, tweet, wake up, you lot! Look around you!"

"Princess, isn't today such a lovely day?" Avocado Ghost Mermaid cried, drowning out the ghosts. "I think this year's summer is the most pleasant one we've ever had in the past three hundred years!"

"I know, right!" Pear Bat Princess cried. "It's so warm out today!"

"Princess," Squeezed Lime Ogre said. "We're almost at the palace, please mentally prepare yourself for our meeting today."


"Okay!" She giggled as she exclaimed such.

Reaching the palace, a run down, roofless castle had awaited her. She let out a sigh as she saw such. She remembered it like it was yesterday, that day the first shooting star came. But, she shook such away. Here she was again, her lovely little abode away from home! Prince opening the door for her, the green carpet had soon been let down.

Seated in her chair, the princess let out a little hum. What did everyone want to talk to her about? Their performance thus far in Satiation Kingdom? She was trying her best to get to the top of the ranks, okay? But no one ever bothered to challenge them, so it was super hard to get out of the bottom! Whoopsie!

"Your Majesty, please don't freak out at what I'm about to say," Honeydew Melon Maid responded. "Many of our citizens have become trapped underneath the burning rubble from the shooting star explosions lately. And, we need to rescue them."

Pear Bat Princess's ears twitched upon hearing such. Ah, that's right, she nearly forgot about all that. Her people, they had been knocked over one after another. She could feel the glue begin to get undone. How many people were trapped under that? But, she wiped such thoughts away. Everything was fine, everything was hunky dory.

"Haha, that's so silly, they got lost in Juicy Fruit Adventure again, huh?" Pear Bat Princess asked. "I'll get them on the right path!"

But, an eerie silence soon followed like a tumbleweed flowing through the desert. Did she say something wrong? What was with this sudden deathly quietness all of a sudden? Ogre, mermaid and prince stepping away for a moment, she gulped. Ah, maybe she had said the wrong thing, what now?

"You're right, princess," Avocado Ghost Mermaid said. "Here's your headset."

"We'll all go together today," Starfruit Jackal Prince said.

"Ready?" Squeezed Lime Ogre asked.

"Ready!"

Headset soon on, Pear Bat Princess closed her eyes.

Ready.

->

Initializing The Virtual Reality Space.

Beep, beep, boop.

Welcome, back to Juicy Fruit Adventure, Pear Bat Princess.

Finding herself in a bright, sunny mountainous region with little friendly juicy ghouls everywhere, the princess could feel everything around her sparkle. Welcome back to Juicy Fruit Adventure, indeed. When was the last time she and her team had come here? She couldn't remember, but oh, well, she's here now, and that's all that matters.

Looking at the world around her, she didn't know why, but she could see multiple lost citizens scattered around everywhere. The silly map had been changed again, huh? She really needed to have a word with that programmer who kept scrambling everything around whenever she and her people entered this world! Randomness was never a good look!

Beep, boop, beep, boop.

Starfruit Jackal Prince has entered the world.

Beep, boop, beep, boop.

Avocado Ghost Mermaid and Squeezed Lime Ogre have entered the world.

Beep, boop, beep, boop.

Honeydew Melon Maid has entered the world.

"It's pretty bad this time, from the looks of it," Honeydew Melon Maid said, sighing. "If I had to estimate, at least two hundred citizens are trapped underneath the flaming rubble."

Maid letting out a rather grim number, Pear Bat Princess could feel her ears twist in knots. Oh, no, that many people? But, it soon went in one ear, out the other. She could not help but let out a laugh upon hearing such. That many people were lost in these constantly changing maps, huh? How silly. The administer of this game was having way too much fun lately.

"Should we all split up to find everyone?" Squeezed Lime Ogre asked.

"Yes, that would be recommended," Honeydew Melon Maid responded.

"We sure that's a good idea?" Starfruit Jackal Prince asked in a suspicious tone. "Any second now, another storm could happen."

"I'm sure." There was a matter of fact tone in his voice.

"Well, I guess with me and my ghosts, that'd make seven of us," Avocado Ghost Mermaid said aloud. She then turned towards her specters. "Frank, Weenie, Vienna, Wurst, Coney, Bologna, cut loose!"

"Quit yer yapping!" Frank cried.

"Yeah, yeah! We don't gotta answer to you!" Weenie shouted.

"Guys, guys, she's our master, we can't just disobey!" Vienna cried.

"That's right, that's right, that's how it is!" Wurst cried.

"Ugh, whatevoo, bleh, let's go get those stupid losers outta da wocks!" Coney shouted.

"I'll go left," Coney whispered.

Ghosts flying away, the princess gazed at the pastel world around her. Which way should she go? There were so many wandering people here. So many of her demon citizens had been getting lost lately, it was getting kind of sad. She really needed to go find that administer and have them fix this game as soon as possible before everyone were to be stuck in an endless circle of not knowing where to go!

Everyone else soon going north, south, and east, she supposed it was in her best interest to go west towards the heart of the Citrus Jungle. Pressing on, she could hear multiple things begin to rumble on and on in unison. Giggling, she flapped upwards towards the sky. Those silly little demons, fighting each other with lightsabers again.

Hearing cries for help everywhere, she flapped her wings harder, huffing. Was it just her, or was the Citrus Jungle feeling a lot further away than usual? Slapping her cheeks, she moved on. Nope, she was just moving too slow! Gotta hurry, gotta hurry! What was she doing crawling along the jet stream? Silly her.

"Someone, please help me!" a voice cried, but a quiet surrender soon followed. "It's no use, is it? Why is the only thing our princess good at winning by default in our bastions?"

Lost citizen crying out, Pear Bat Princess sped up her flight. A wandering citizen, she needed to hurry! There was no time to lose. Blasting on through the breeze of speed, she let out a little airplane noise. She's coming, fine demon! Mark her words, she'll get them on the right path! Diving head first, the first of many who needed guidance was right in front of her.

"There you are, princess!" a citizen cried out, pained tone of voice. "Please, help me! I think I'm caved in!" Their voice then changed to that of despair. "Why don't you ever do anything to stop this shooting star storm? You're such a lousy ruler!"

Bucket of spiky salt dousing her ears cold, she could feel the glue begin to die. Haha, she was such a lousy ruler, wasn't she? The shooting star storm, it's not like she didn't want to do anything about it, it's that she couldn't. But, she shut her ears off to such. Man, this citizen sure had gotten so far off the track of the game today, hadn't they? Better set them free.

Closing her eyes for a moment, an intense energy flowed through towards her ears. Intense soundwaves eating the world around her, everything had begun to twist and turn, multiple people screeching, she swore she could hear her citizens shout expletives towards her. But, she turn a blind ear. Man, going the wrong way sure was frustrating!

"Took you long enough to get us out of here!" citizen number one said. "I wanted to escape to Juicy Fruit Adventure just like you! But, no, I had to be trapped in this stupid rubble for a whole week! If I weren't a dolphin fruit demon, I'd have died by now! Let that sink in!"

"The shooting star storms have been getting worse lately, and look at you, only doing something about it now!" citizen number two cried. "You're such a lousy ruler, resign, and make your stupid maid the head of the country!"

Rebuttal after rebuttal coming her way, the princess covered her ears. She was trying, she was trying so hard! But everything had gotten so terrible lately that rescue had been impossible. The burning shooting stars, the agricultural demise, all of it, everything. How was she supposed to deal with all that with such a small team, huh? Tell her, tell her, tell her, tell her. Hey, someone tell her!

But, she kept her smile going strong. Everything was totally fine, hunky dory, peachy keen, there was nothing wrong. It was a sunny, beautiful day. There was no shooting star storm, the sky wasn't burning, and all her citizens were just lost in this random map! That's right, that's right. That's all it was. Everything was completely fine.

"Here's a map of the world, don't get lost again!" Pear Bat Princess cried.

"You'll never wake up, will you?!" the citizens cried. "Go save the other trapped people and hurry! The rocks are going to start burning soon!"

"You're welcome!" Pear Bat Princess cried, bowing her head.

Flapping away, the princess's face grew dark. That's right, those shooting stars, after a certain amount of time, they'd catch fire and destroy everyone in their path. She had to do something, but how could she put a stop to it? All of this was the Sausage Syndicate's fault! If they hadn't attacked her Kingdom all those years ago and ruined everything, the climate wouldn't have changed! Her Kingdom wouldn't have fallen into ruin! None of this would have happened.

Shaking her head in a violent matter, she kept on moving forward. How many demons had the rest of her team guided on towards the right path? They were so much faster than her, weren't they? She bet that almost everyone by now had been located and found. She really needed to pick up the pace here before everyone got lost forevermore!

But, as she kept flying through the juicy jungle, she could hear her trusty right hand mermaid come floating her way. Hotdog ghosts floating behind her, her stomach soon dropped. Oh, no, something had gone wrong, hadn't it? Terribly wrong. Avocado Ghost Mermaid almost never floated around so fast unless it was an emergency. What should she do?

"Princess!" Avocado Ghost Mermaid cried. "The entire west mountain has begun to burn away!" She cried out. "I think." She had begun to stutter as she continued. "I think Sausage Syndicate might be here." Her voice shook even harder as she said such. "They might be getting ready to attack our bastion!"

Bastion mentioned, Pear Bat Princess nearly fell out of the sky. No, what, Sausage Syndicate was here? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, why were those monsters here? After all this time, after what they did, they had the nerve to try to finish the job? Were they trying to knock them out of the top ten? They were, weren't they?

Laughing, she could feel the glue close to finally coming undone. Ah, no, this wasn't good. Sausage Syndicate, if they had been here, it was Game Over. What should she do? What about her people that were close to burning away? What could she possibly do? Maybe her people were right, she was a lousy, incompetent ruler. A no-good, very bad, terrible princess who never got the job done. Maybe Honeydew Melon Maid should have been the leader of her country after all.

Click.

Switch flipping upward, everything around her shined like the sun. Ah, no, Sausage Syndicate, they would never be able to come here! After all, there was a barrier keeping those silly demons out. Nope, they weren't here, of course they weren't. They weren't here at all, nope, no way. Someone was just using that name as their in game name here to trick her! That's all it was. Of course.

"Haha, silly citizens and their usernames!" Pear Bat Princess cried. "I ought to have the administer ban that username!"

"Right, I'll make sure to let the admin know to block that in game name," Avocado Ghost Mermaid said. "Let's go save the rest of the lost citizens."

Rest of her crew soon floating towards her with sour looks on their faces, the princess tried to look away. Look at this lot, look so defeated. Had they lost a fight with a common enemy? Aww, what a sad look for them. But, she had been there, done that so many times now. She ought to do something about those buggy little slimes as soon as possible.

"Princess, Sausage Syndicate has teamed up with Sweet and Sour Kingdom!" Squeezed Lime Ogre cried. "And, any second now, they're going to storm our bastion!" They then lowered their voice into a whisper. "Should have known something was off."

"Your Majesty, we have to hurry and save everyone now before the sirens go off!" Starfruit Jackal Prince cried. "Hurry, if we don't, they'll kill everyone!" Their voice shook as they continued. "Your Majesty, I saw in their hands, they have that weapon. Please, hurry, and send everyone to the bunkers!"

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

"It burns, it burns! It burns!" Multiple demons cried.

"Your Majesty, please, you have to unleash your emergency transport spell," Honeydew Melon Maid cried, coughing up a storm. "Hurry, now! You don't have much time left! Any second now, they'll unleash that, and then bomb our bastion! Quickly!"

Boom, boom, boom.

"It burns! It burns, it burns so much!" Multiple demons cried.

"Why can't the princess do something and save us for once?!" Multiple demons shouted. "Oh, god, oh god, my face is burning, my skin is burning, someone help me, please!"

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Mushroom clouds everyone, the princess could feel everything close in on her. She could feel the glue finally come undone. Ah, Sausage Syndicate was here, and they had brought that with them. That little weapon that ruined everything. That changed it all. Was today the day they were going to reclaim everything? Was this the day the Sausage Syndicate would finish the deed where they had left off?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Of course they were of course that was what they were doing. She had to act fast. Closing her eyes, an intense power flowed through her. Blinding light engulfing the entire virtual world, she watched as the demons around her disappeared one after another. Opening her eyes, she turned around towards the opposite direction. This was for the best, right? Now, no one would be caught up in the explosions.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Oh, by the gods, no.

That noise.

"Your Majesty, quick, get on your laser tag equipment now!" Avocado Ghost Mermaid cried. "Sweet And Sour Kingdom are here!"

Equipment thrown her way, Pear Bat Princess's body twitched in many different ways than one. Ah, Sweet and Sour Kingdom were here? Oh, no. That Kingdom, weren't they trying to get revenge on everyone? Right, that what was going through the grapevine right now or something. Speeding off towards the bastion, her team soon followed close behind her.

Time to eliminate these worms.

***

"Why can't our leader realize that our kingdom
Has long since fallen so far? I think our princess is stuck somewhere in the past when were were in the bottom ten.
Eh, I keep trying to tell her that we're the second highest ranked in Satiation Kingdom, but she
Never hears a

Word of what I say.
I keep telling her over and over again that our
Land has fallen apart. But, she doesn't
Listen, she turns away.

Over and over again, she tells me, 'Honeydew Melon Maid, everything is fine!' She keeps on
Uttering this, and none of us ever try to snap her back in
Reality. I mean, all of us here are

Pretty much stuck here in this illusion with her. It's been
Rather hard to try and save our land. But there is one that that
Is true. Next to no one attacks us because, most people do
Not survive a second or two on our battlefield. I think they experience acute radiation immediately, but I
Cannot say. We are immune to that. But,
Everyone that attacks us is not.
So many people have passed away. But, our princess,
She doesn't want to think about that, so

We let her play her little game of laser tag,
And say nothing. We
Know that this does more harm than good, but we feel she'll
End up going through a crisis if we

Unleash the truth, so we
Pretend this is all just

A game of laser tag. But, we will
Never tell her the truth. And we pretend to participate, too. We
Don't know what to do with our nation, but we

Feel this is for the best.
And, those enemies that attacked us, Sweet and Sour Kingdom, I slithered by them and told them to play along. Shockingly, they listened. I
Cannot believe this since they're the ones attacking us.
Eh, we'll do anything we can to protect our princess. Once she returns to

Reality, though, I don't
Even know where to begin.
And, honestly, all our citizens, I don't know how many are going to be
Left to even play virtual reality anymore after this.
I think when Sausage Syndicate used
That, that was their last attempt to destroy us. But, ah,
Yes, this is all just a game. Nothing to worry about."

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Objective: win at laser tag.

Towers will be destroyed only if the laser successfully hits the opponents chest two times.

"How is this wasteland the kingdom that's the second highest in Satiation Kingdom?" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Look around you! This place is barely habitable!" They then turned towards the members of Sausage Syndicate. "You really hit them good!" But, they flinched as they continued. "My skin, my skin, why does my skin feel like it's about to melt away?!"

"We should have used our strongest one last time we were here!" the Sausage Syndicate goon cried. They soon giggled. "Oh, well! No matter, this time, everything will be so radioactive, even the princess might not survive!"

"This time, Palace of Pears will be ours!" the Sausage Syndicate Goon cried, but they soon flinched. Bubble, bubble, bubble. "Aaah, my face, my face, my face!"

Cries coming her way, Pear Bat Princess closed one eye. Their chest plates were wide open. It was time to let this laser roll! Ping, ping, ping, ping. Bright red ray becoming one with the enemy, their screams continued. Continuing to play around, the target had begun to move around at lightning speed.

Letting out a loud hmph, she flapped her wings with a fury. Enemy frozen in place, she prepared herself. Now's her chance, they were wide open. Ping, ping, ping, ping. Crimson ray striking twice, the stupid little hot dog demon had become one with the ground. Clapping her hands, she turned towards her mermaid companion.

"Avocado Ghost Mermaid, finish them!" Pear Bat Princess cried.

"Got it," Avocado Ghost Mermaid replied. "Coney, spook them!"

"Boo!" Coney shriek.

Crunch.

Enemies defeated: one of four.

"I can't believe we agreed to play along with this charade!" Sausage Syndicate goon number three cried. "We shouldn't have deployed that so soon. Ugh, everything burns, it burns, it burns, someone just put me out of my misery!"

Pew, pew, pew, pew.

Another enemy soon down, Pear Bat Princess could feel the world heat around her. Eyes twitching, she let down another beam of light. Ah, no, she had to hurry and end this, hurry and end this before that ruined everything again. She could see it in that plant burger's pocket. They had another one. Hurry, hurry, hurry. She needed assistance to end this.

"Squeezed Lime Ogre, Starfruit Jackal Prince!" Pear Bat Princess cried. "Aim for the belly!"

"We already did?" The party of two said in unison.

Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.

Chest wide open, two more bit the dust. Only one enemy remaining, she swore she could hear skin bubbling. Hearing such, she closed her ears off. Nope, nope, nope, this was a fun game of laser tag right now! That's right. Nothing is wrong, everything is fine, everything was all hunky dory, peachy keen! Of course. Pew, pew, pew, pew.

Enemies defeated: three of four. One tower remains.

"I won't let you beat me!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried, but as they said such, they soon gagged. "Can't breathe. Can't hold on."

Pew, pew, pew. Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Last member hit from behind, the princess watched as the plant had begun to burn away. But, she turned off towards the opposite direction. She didn't hit them too hard, did she? Maybe she had, maybe she should have been more gentle in the end. Final tower on the enemy's side becoming nothing but dust, the victory horn soon played.

Starved.

"Why didn't you three tell me this kingdom was a wasteland?!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Get me out of here! I don't want to die!" But, no response. "Guys? Why did I team up with these idiots?! I'd better get out of here before I burn away!" Snapping their fingers, they soon poofed away.

"Don't return to the palace with me," Pear Bat Princess said, back turned. "I want to be alone."


"Princess," Honeydew Melon Maid said slowly. "Please, listen."

"No, let me be alone," Pear Bat Princess repeated.

Returning to her palace, the princess ran to the furthest room of the royal quarters. Rocking back and forth, she buried her head in her face. Glue melting into oblivion, she let out a sea of laughs. They had set off another one. What could she even do? How could she fix everything? Her citizens were right, she was such a lousy ruler. A terrible, awful princess who couldn't do anything right. World blurring around her, she buried herself further into the spiral.

She was the worst ruler of all.

---

This one is pretty sad, I'm sorry, lol. Next is Villa of Fishies, the last of the ten kingdoms that needs to be introduced.

 

[Palamon]

Villa of Fishies: Gluttonous Queen

---

"A new victim? Hello, hello, I'm
Regina Mackerel Mermaid, queen of Villa of Fishies, but
Ehehe, I am better known as Canned Tuna Mermaid!

You know what I love the most? Mermaid meat!
Oh, that's weird, huh? But
Uhuhu, I love the taste of my own kind! Here in my Kingdom, we're a bunch of hunters! Our entire village is

Pretty much full of hunters.
Ehehe, and we're a
Rather strong group of
Hunters, I'd say! I'm
Always looking for a good
Prey to eliminate! Villa of Fishies is a
Seaside village kingdom with a large underwater portion.

And unlike the Palace of Pears, I am a competent leader! That

Nasty little bat princess is running away from
Everything! She's always running away to virtual reality!
Well, look at her! Her Kingdom has

Very much fallen apart.
I don't get how she's in the top ten! But we
Can knock her off her perch!
The Villa of Fishies
Is a much
More superior kingdom! I mean, for starters, my Kingdom is thriving! Hers is

Not! And, we're all stronger since indulging in
Our forbidden fruit, hehe.

What does our Kingdom Warfare consist of?
Ehehe, well, bounty hunting, and then we
Lead our enemies underwater to the big bastion.
Let's just say most people don't do well

In an underwater setting, and that's why
My Kingdom is in the top ten! Most people don't even

Come close to being able to defeat us! My nation is that of semi
Aquatic demons. So, we're good at what we do. There's
Nothing quite like our Kingdom!
Not a single one is this close to the sea.
Ehehe. I may not be in the top five, but
Don't underestimate me. I'm stronger than you think!

The reason for my strength? Eating canned mermaid, of course.
Uhuhu, devouring my own kind, I'm
Now so strong, no one can comprehend!
Ahahaha, you wanna go? I'm always ready for the hunt! We're

Mighty violent by nature here.
Ehehe, my team and I are always
Raring to go! Now, I am going to address the
Mighty big skeleton in the room. I
Am aware of that pathetic Sweet and Sour Kingdom trying to get revenge on the top ten.
I hear they have teamed up with Sausage Syndicate and Legume Empire, but they're all
Dumb, so I can't

Wait watch them all die!
Ehehe, man they're all so pathetic!
Let me start by saying this, I
Couldn't quite care less about the bottom Kingdoms beneath me. Every single
One of them is pathetic. So pathetic you have no idea.
Maybe if they tried harder, they'd be in the top ten in Satiation Kingdom! But,
Ehehe, nope, they're all just

That pathetic that they've fallen
Out and into collapsible kingdom territory! It's

Very pitiful, I must say!
If Sweet And Sour Kingdom attack with
Legume Empire and Sausage Syndicate, I won't
Let them win.
After all, I know what they did to Palace

Of Pears. Let me just say, it's so
Foolish of the princess to pretend nothing happened! She's such a

Fool! A stupid little fool!
I can't believe how
Stupid she is, actually, I can't believe
How stupid Sweet And Sour Kingdom
Is either! Still going after
Everyone since their Kingdom has
Started to collapse! But, I

Guess now is a good time to finally eliminate them once and for all!
I plan to eradicate those little
Mice once and for all! You
Might as well squeak, squeak and squeak some more!
Ehehe, Sweet And Sour Kingdom is

Truly pitiful, so pitiful.
Uhuhu, then again, so is everyone else beneath me!
Now, it's time for
Another hunt! I

Need my precious mermaid meat after all!
Ohoho, uhuhu, once this is all done, I
Will be the most powerful demon in all of Satiation Kingdom!"

The bright fish shaped clouds had begun to roll in over the aquamarine sky in the seaside village of Villa of Fishies and the incorporated underwater sovereignty in the far southern distant corners in Satiation Kingdom. Various demons were hunting as the raindrops fell, many pathetic monsters were slain, it was yet another wonderful day for a majority of the citizens about. But, for one demon, hunger was a beast of burden.

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

Sitting at a desk with a large tub of water underneath had been a somewhat short but mature looking pink skinned female demon with chest length hair pulled into a grey messy ponytail covering her torso especially. Scalp a very hot magenta, her bangs had faded into a bright shade of brown. Silver eyes twitching, she kept stroking her pen upon the papers in front of her.

Bright blue mermaid tail swishing with a ferocity in the small tub beneath her, the grumbles continued. By the sovereigns underwater was she absolutely famished. When was the last time she had her sweet, sweet, mermaid meat to eat? She was coming up empty. Drool all over her pitch black blouse suit, she clapped her hands together. Could someone please hurry and give her something to munch on?

Trmp, trmp, trmp.

"Yes, my queen, Regina Mackerel Mermaid?" a meek voice asked. "How may I help you? Make it quick, though, I, no, we, have to go to the sovereignty soon and meet with the head of the Hunters Organization to ask about the monster problem."

Looking rather done in the corner had been a very short brown skinned androgynous appearing demon with some years on them. Spiky two toned orangish-pink and yellow green hair looking quite unbrushed, on the top of their head had been horns. Pitch black suit with little sushi stickered all over it, their hands had been that of riced maki sushi. Long pink tail behind them, their feet had been that of pink nigiri. Mouth watering, the queen almost wanted to nibble on Maki Sushi Imp's feet. Come on, they were practically a snack as it was!

"Don't be so formal, you can just call me Canned Tuna Mermaid, you know!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried.

"We're not hunting right now, I won't," Maki Sushi Imp said, shaking their head. "Hurry up and tell me what you want, Your Majesty. The leader of the Hunters Organization will reprimand me, no, us, if we're late."

"Bring me a can of mermaid meat now!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried.

But, a long silence soon followed. Little imp not saying anything, the queen bit her nails up a tizzy. Uh, hello? Say something already! Didn't they have to go underwater, what's the holdup, huh? Were they purposely keeping her hanging? Never mess with a famished demon! Cracking her neck, she almost wanted to toss this demon to the docks of humiliation right now.

"We're out," Maki Sushi Imp said, deadpan.

"Excuse me?!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried. "Repeat what you just said!"

"I said, we're out," Maki Sushi Imp responded, deadpan. "You ate your entire stash."

Stupid imp claiming she was out, Regina Mackerel Mermaid's eyebrows twitched. Excuse her, what dumb stunt was this now, huh? Was this a prank to keep her focused on work? Don't put her through this nonsense! Did they expect her to starve here? They did, didn't they? Not on her watch, they don't! Surely, she had another secret stash in the bottom cabinet. Their sibling knew where that was! So useless. This gremlin never looked hard enough!

"Have Fried Shrimp Fiend look in the bottom cabinet!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried.

"Your Majesty, I keep telling you we, and that includes my sibling, by the way, have to go meet with the Hunter's Organization," Maki Sushi Imp cried. "We don't have time to indulge you in your gluttony."

"Who is the Sovereign of Villa of Fishies?" Her voice was growing louder as she asked such.

"You are?" Maki Sushi Imp's voice continued to remain deadpan.

"That's right, me, I am, and what I say goes!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid shouted. "Go tell your sibling to look in the lower cabinets now!"

"Whatever." They stomped away as they said such.

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.

Groaning, the queen nibbled on an empty sheet of paper. When was the last time she had eaten her precious, golden mermaid meat? This morning, yesterday, two days ago? Who cares how long it's been? She needed her fix now, right this instant. Stamping multiple documents with her stupid signature print, she nibbled on her suit. Could this stupid group of demons hurry up already?

Stomp, stomp, stomp.

"We're out," a deep voice said.

Claiming they were out in the corner of her office had been a brown skinned youthful appearing demon with pink shoulder length hair highlighted brown at the edges. Bangs practically covering their entire face, their ears had been in the shape of fried shrimp. Orange eyes small and pearly, such had been quite the contrast to Maki Sushi Imp's dull pink ones. Pitch black suit with shrimp stickered onto the pockets, behind them had been a long copper tail. Cracking her knuckles, her face turned red towards the demon. Friend Shrimp Fiend was useless, too!

"Then, check again!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried.

"No." They turned towards their back.

"And, who do you think you are saying no to me? Who is the sovereign of this kingdom, hmm?!" The queen's rage had begun to build up, and fast.

"We don't have time for this," Fried Shrimp Fiend said. "Neither do you. Don't you have to go to the Flounder Church for the afternoon sermon today?"

Useless demon bringing up the annoying sermon, the queen wanted to bite this fiend's ears off. Who cares about that sermon? She had more important things to worry about here. Like, hello? She needed to get her fill! Besides, why should she have to stand in for that? She was the ruler of this kingdom! How aggravating.

"I'll skip!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried. But, groans soon followed.

"Pastor Puck Flounder won't allow that," Maki Sushi Imp said, deadpan. "And, neither with Minister Fish Fingers." They crossed their arms across their waist as they said such. "Don't be like all those other incompetent leaders in the other kingdoms who never do their job."

"You never know," Friend Shrimp Fiend said, forming their hands into a circular shape. "Maybe they'll have offerings of mermaid meat for you at the sermon."

Grumble, grumble, grumble, plop.

Hands on her desk, the queen's eyes shimmered. Did they just say what she thought they just said? They might have offerings of mermaid meat at the sermon? Count her in! That was a service worth going to! They had better have at least two whole cans waiting for her, or else she would see to it this church is shut down immediately, mark her words!

"They'd better!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried.

"I said maybe, Your Majesty," Friend Shrimp Fiend groaned. "Not definitely. Whatever. We'll see you in the evening. The two of us are meeting with Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu. She's going to catch us up to speed on the monster situation."

Useless demons leaving, the queen kept on stamping paper after paper. By the gods, why did so many people need passports to travel to Sausage Syndicate lately? Don't people know that this kingdom is not in the top ten in Satiation Kingdom? Why did her people want to go there again? Think, Canned Tuna Mermaid, think.

Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.

Letting out a scream, Regina Mackerel Mermaid rose her hands into the air. She was way too low on meat juice to think straight! Why were people going to Sausage Syndicate again? Think, Canned Tuna Mermaid, think! Agh, what was it again? Come on, brain, turn on already! Click, memories flowing through like a stream, she snapped her fingers. Oh, right, the joint kingdom hunting competition, or something. She could have sworn she cancelled that after hearing what horrible kingdom had done to Palace of Pears and so many others. Oh, well, too late to revoke it now. What's done is done.

Ding, dong, ding, dong. Dong, ding ding ding dong.

Afternoon church bell ringing, the queen removed herself from office. Time to go to the afternoon sermon, not like she wanted to, but, it's not like she could skip out, either. Well, whatever. It's not like she could get out of it. She was expected to be there. Why, she didn't know, but maybe they'd have mermaid meat waiting for her. The red, hot juicy fishy goodness!

Honk, honk.

Buggy waiting for her outside, the queen closed her eyes for a moment. It was time to do a little magic spell. Temporary legs with little fins on them, she let out a groan. She always despised this transformation, but what choice did she have? Slithering on the carpet was gross and annoying and unbefitting of a queen like her! Hopping in the backseat, she waved at her driver.

"Jolly good day to you, Your Majesty," her chauffer greeted.

"Hungry bad day to you," Regina Mackerel Mermaid groaned. "Hurry up and get me to the church."

"Aight, mate, right away," her chauffer responded, turning the wheel. "But, there might be some mighty wicked monsters along the way."

"Then shoot them with the gun I made you installed in the headlights!" Regina Mackerel Mermaid cried.

"Sure, mate," her chauffer responded. "And if there's any mermaid zombies, I'll slay them for you real quick."

"You'd better! My dumb right hand demons didn't give me my mermaid meat today!" She stomped her temporary feet as she said such.

Chauffer flooring it, the queen gazed at her surroundings as her belly continued to grumble. Not a single mermaid zombie in sight, she wanted to throw hands. Oh, for the love of, where was her sweet, tasty, tangy meat when she needed it? It was like all the monsters died overnight or something! Or that pesky Sausage Syndicate had sneaked their way here without a passport to lower their meat supply! Those gangsters fought dirty after all.

Ding, dong, ding, dong, dong, ding dong dong.

Church bells ringing a second time as her chauffer pulled into the parking lot, the queen placed her head in her hands. Not a single monster anywhere. What, had there been so major gremlin shortage lately? She wasn't sure, but it sure felt like there had been. Whatever, she'll deal with that later. She had a boring sermon to attend, and a mermaid meat prize to eat when it's done!

Tub of water waiting for her in the front row, her mermaid tail soon returned from the grave as she seated herself in her golden throne chair. Throwing off the reserved sticker into the waste bin next to her, multiple rows of demons had soon flooded in one after another. Denizens turning towards her, she forced a wave as she hid a belly growl. Could this stupid sermon end already? It hadn't even started yet, but still.

Tap, tap, tap.

"Good afternoon, my people," Pastor Puck Flounder announced. "Take a moment to pray to our lord and savior."

"Amen!" Everyone cried.

Standing at the podium had been rather tall male demon with brown skin and light tan flaming eyebrows on the head. Purple hair darker at the top and a much lighter lavender towards the bottom going down to about his waist, his eyes matched his locks almost exactly. Hiding fish finger hands behind him, he adorned a suit he looked as though he suffocated him. She shook her head at such. Be free. Their god, if they were even still with them would rather their children follow their heart. Go by Fish and Chips Puck in public like he wanted to, while he's at it.

"Also, our queen is attending our sermon today!" another voice cried. "Everyone, bow your heads right now!"

"We are not worthy, Your Majesty!" hundreds of voices cried out.

Pointing at her had been a mature male demon with tan skin and flaming eyebrows just like the pastor by the podium. Dark brown hair split to blonde below the bangs, his locks fell right below his chest with some stringed loose pieces. Yellow eyes with square shaped pupils, he too, looked as though he had been suffocating in that fancy church wear. Troll horns hidden behind a hat, she almost wanted to scream. Embrace who he was. Call himself Fish Fingers Troll like he did when they were hunting bounties together.

"Everyone open up your hymn books!" Minister Fish Fingers cried.

Hymns and tunes played, the queen's stomach had begun to rumble as the gospels played themselves out. Multiple demons staring at her, she tried to make sure her voice carried over it. No one heard anything just now! No one had better say a word about this, or else they would get what's coming to them, and then some, mark her words!

Boring sermon going on and on, she could soon feel herself about close to falling asleep. Same old boring message, same old He serves the people from the skies above. She almost wanted to chuckle at that. Uh, she was the one who served her people, not some lord and savior, but whatever, it's not like she could call that out.

Blah, blah blah and babble continuing the queen could feel the clock go slower and slower by the second. Why was she always forced to appear at a sermon once a week? She had better things to do than this, like bounty hunting! Whoever had made her come to these things once every seven days, she should have fired them at least two hundreds year ago. No, much earlier and farther back than that. That's right, she should have never hired them in the first place to decide her schedule.

Ding, dong, ding, dong, dong, ding, ding, dong.

"Amen!" Everyone chanted.

Flinching, Regina Mackerel Mermaid looked around her. Oops, she fell asleep again. Why couldn't she be asked to go to a more interesting ceremony, huh? This pastor and minister were the most boring when they were preaching out these empty little nothings all the time! Like, they didn't even look like they enjoy it! They belonged on her bounty hunting team like they always were, not serving this boring little church almost no one attended anyway. Whatever, time to get some refreshments.

Slithering towards the entrance, the queen could smell it. The beautiful, smoky goodness, that juicy, wonderful, holy grail. The canned mermaid meat. It was here, waiting for her! She takes it back, this is the best church in all of Villa of Fishies. Practically leaping towards the plate, she swiped the can. Yummy, yummy, yummy, come to mommy's tummy.

Om nom nom.

Gasp.

"Her Majesty sure is hungry! Look at her go!" a churchgoer cried.

"Your Majesty, take mine, I don't like this brand of mermaid meat anyway!" another churchgoer cried.

"Me too, me, too, take mine!" another churchgoer cried. "Can't have a hungry majesty!"

Dozens of cans handed off to her, the queen's eyes sparkled. Okay, know what, this is the best church ever now. She was coming back next week, for sure! So much free mermaid meat? She couldn't resist, yummy, yummy, yummy, tasty mermaid meat hallelujah! Om nom nom nom. Chauffer soon honking, she returned to the buggy. Strutting back into her office, her useless right hand demons were waiting for her.

"Your Majesty, bounty in the swamps," Maki Sushi Imp said, deadpan. "We need to go."

"On it!" the queen cried. Zoom.

Hopping in the lake, the queen could feel her motivation begin to grow. It's hunting time, folks.

->

Forty Long Minutes Later.

Slipping into her bright pink dress with pictures of canned tuna on them, the deep, thick boggy mud had soon sunk Canned Tuna Mermaid inward. Unable to hop back upward, she almost wanted to eat the dirt beneath her. Why hadn't those lesser demons been attempting to clear out this wetland? She thought she commanded the pucklings here to do that! But, no, they never listen, do they? Of course not.

Maki Sushi Imp now adorning a bright teal shirt with little horned sushi on them, their sibling, Friend Shrimp Fiend had adorned an orange shirt with shrimp on it and comical tongues licking them. Pastor wearing a knee length dress with fish and chips covering it, and minister in his bright green hunting gear, she could see the beautiful little smiling fish fingers. Beautiful, wonderful, embrace who they really were. Fish and Chips Puck and Fish Fingers Troll. How could they spend all day denying who they actually were?

"There you all are!" a bird lady cried. "Here's today's bounty, and you all had better hurry! Sweet and Sour Kingdom is looking to attack us soon!" Her talons waved as she said such. "And they're teamed up with those no good Sausage Syndicate demons! I hear they might want to turn our country into a second Palace of Pears!"

Hearing such nonsense, Canned Tuna Mermaid cracked her knuckles. Oh, they wanted to do what they did to Palace of Pears, huh? She'll knock them so far down into the ocean that they'll never breathe again! If they think they could use those little bombs of theirs, they'd be shot dead on sight, mark her words!

Handing everyone a brown piece of paper had been a rather tall pink skinned female demon with fluffy light tan wings behind her. Bright yellow hair and teal high ponytail pulled upwards by a scrunchie, she had a little toasted fish hairclip. Blue one piece outfit with the same little fishies on there, she gave Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu a little salute. This girl was doing her job as head of the Hunters Organization, that's for sure.

Black and white picture of a zombie angler fish with googly eyes on it and wanted message reading, Bounty: Rotting Angler Fish. Reward: thirty grand, Canned Tuna Mermaid almost wanted to slither further into the bog and drown. That's it? Just zombie angler fish again? Alright, she takes it back, she's not doing her job well at all!

"That's it?" Canned Tuna Mermaid complained. "Where's the rest?"

"Your Majesty, it would seem some foreign aliens from another kingdom have recently been spotted killing all our bounties," Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu responded. "So, this is all that's left right now."

"You, what?! Hold on!" Canned Tuna Mermaid cried. "Why didn't you talk to me about this?!" She then turned to her right hand demons. "Maki Sushi Imp, Friend Shrimp Fiend, you have some explaining to do!"

"What's there to explain here?" Maki Sushi Imp asked, deadpan. "You'd have found out sooner or later anyway."

"That's right, you would have, I mean, since your mermaid meat stash hasn't been refilled in a few days, we thought you'd put two and two together by now," Fried Shrimp Fiend said.

Eyes practically on fire, the queen almost wanted to throw these two useless demons into the ocean. Didn't these two think that they should have mentioned something important like that? Come on now! There were foreign aliens on their soil! In their bogs, in the wetlands, anywhere possible! And they were waiting for her to find out about that herself? Ludicrous! She ought to fire these two for this alone!

But, she knew she couldn't do that. As useless as they were in about everything else, they kept her on top of her paperwork and day to day scheduling. She couldn't even imagine where she'd be without them reminding her every week when it was time to go to church? Probably late to everything. And, not to mention, if she fired them now, think of all the precious, tasty mermaid meat she'd lose out on! Ah, forget expulsing them from the royal cabinet, they were useful after all.

"You sure pigged out on mermaid meat today!" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "You cleaned out the church's entire stock!"

"Save some for the rest of us next time, why don't you?" Fish Fingers Troll asked, tone annoyed. "There's literally a mermaid meat shortage, you glutton!"

"Who are you calling a glutton?!" Canned Tuna Mermaid cried. "I'll have you know eating mermaid meat makes me more powerful, so I'll eat every single morsel I can get my hands on, thank you!"

"I can't believe you!" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "Think about something other than your stomach for a change!"

"Quit telling me what to do, who is in charge of this kingdom, hmm?" Canned Tuna Mermaid asked in an annoyed tone. "I am! Now, shut up, and help me kill this zombie angler fish!"

Rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooar.

Gigantic, building sized angler fish standing on two feet looking ready to capsize the entirety of the wetlands, the queen plopped herself into the river stream in the corner. Oh, this stupid bounty had another thing coming if it thought it could be allowed to live for even a second longer! She would crush this fiend, kill it dead, knock it into nothing. Time for the hunt!

Bazooka in the palm of her hands, Canned Tuna Mermaid closed her left eye. It was time to knock this stupid monster on its butt and cut it up good. If she wasn't going to get her mermaid meat for awhile, something else would have to do! Not like angler fish meat was a good replacement, but whatever, anything will do. She'd eat her own tail, if she had to! It grew back anyway, who cares?

Boom, boom, boom.

Tengu flying upward, a barrage of grenades had become one with the bounty. But, it had soon shaken them off, in an instant. More tossed down readily, nothing continued to happen. Large spiky tail soon knocking them backwards, a loud click of the tongue had vibrated through the muddy bogs down below.

"What is with this monster?" Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu cried. "Something fishy is going on here!"

"Did you have to make that stupid pun?" Maki Sushi Imp asked, deadpan.

"The stupid joke award goes to you," Fried Shrimp Fiend said, deadpan as well.

"So I made a bad joke, so shoot me!" Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu cried. "When I get my hands on those foreign aliens, I'll shoot them dead! They've mutated the bounties. Who do they think they are?"

"They think they're god, and they're playing by their own rules," Maki Sushi Imp said, deadpan.

"Bet they're looking to turn our kingdom into the next Palace of Pears!" Fried Shrimp Fiend added with an accidental screech. "And, you know what happened to that kingdom. Top two in Satiation Kingdom for all the wrong reasons."

"My word!" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "Could you people stop talking and start shooting?"

"Do you have eyes in your head, Fish and Chips Puck?" Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu asked in an annoyed tone. "You just saw all my grenades fail. Or were you perhaps too busy looking at yourself in the mirror to notice?"

"I'll have you know I was aiming the mirror at the sun to make it burn!" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "Unlike you, I know an anglerfish's true weakness!"

"Here, here!" Fish Fingers Troll cried. "Meanwhile, you here call yourself the leader of the Hunters Organization, assign our bounties, but you waste your time being useless and using weapons that ain't doing nothing!"

"Whatever you say prima donnas," Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu said in a sarcastic tone. "But, you'll all see when my little fishy bombs do it this time!"

Boom, boom, boom, kablam, whammo.

Multiple blazing bullets fired, the queen watched as the dumb monster was letting out its screams of pain. Looking about ready to be knocked out, she readied herself to hop up the jet stream. She was about to show these bunch of annoying bickering fools who had been the expert here. Because none of them sure were!

Boom, boom, boom, kablam, whammo, boop.

Anglerfish letting out multiple pained screams, Canned Tuna Mermaid hopped upward upon the windy current. She could feel her power flow through her as the meat juices simmered inside. There it is! The meaty power up. So long, zombie, farewell. Time to put this beast out of its mystery. It was time for her special move, Full Throttle Mermaid Slash.

Harpoon in the palm of her hands, the weapon had become one with the wind. Spear dropped upon the bounty's chest, pained roars shook the the wetlands. Critical point reached, she threw another. Her next meal was going down! Almost a whole dozen tossed at the enemy's gigantic chest, cries had come her way.

"Did you have to throw that many?" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "Save some bounty money for us, why don't you?"

"Greedy much?!" Fish Fingers Troll cried. "You're a queen, you're loaded! Save some for the less fortunate! Can't believe you, were were going to kill this thing and give the prize away to the church!"

"Yeah! The nerve, Your Majesty!" Fish and Chips Puck screeched.

Complaints coming her way, Canned Tuna Mermaid rolled her eyes. These annoying demons. Did she look like she wanted the money here? Excuse her, this was going to be her emergency food! Take the money for all she cared. She wasn't taking the prize anyway! This fish here? She'd be cutting it up and cubing it into cuisine, thank you!

"Did I say that I was taking the prize money? You take it!" Canned Tuna Mermaid cried. "I want a different prize!"

"Oh, lord," Maki Sushi Imp groaned, deadpan. "Don't tell me?"

"She's going to eat that anglerfish, isn't she?" Fried Shrimp Fiend asked.

"Your Majesty, you can't be serious right now!" Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu cried. "You heard what I told you earlier, didn't I? There's some foreign aliens have come here and killed most of our bounties! Who knows if they haven't poisoned everything else!" Her voice continued to raise as they continued. "I know you put your stomach first, but like, use your brain here! I'm pretty sure they got to this monster too, and laced it with mermaid killing toxins!"

Blah, blah, blah coming her way, the queen cracked her knuckles. Poison this, mermaid killing toxins, that! Like, hello, it's called thoroughly removing that jazz and nonsense while cooking! She wasn't using her brain? More like this tengu wasn't using hers either! Actually, scratch that, every single one of these fools was brainless as ever. Unbelievable!

"Has no one here heard of toxic removal?!" Canned Tuna Mermaid cried. "I'll have you know when I'm not in the office doing boring passport approvals and other queenly duties, I'm cooking off the walls down in my underwater home!"

"And, yet, you choose to make most of your diet mermaid meat," Maki Sushi Imp said, arms crossed across their waist.

"Make something make sense for a change," Fried Shrimp Fiend groaned.

Boom, boom, boom, roooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooar.

Bounty Downed.

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, poof.

Sword doing its duty, the queen opened up a plastic container as soon as possible. Possibly toxic pieces plopped down in the tupperware, she could hear more blah blah blahs that hardly mattered. She was making a huge mistake, it was toxic. Blah, blah, blah, bloopity blah blah. Do these people ever shut up and stop being wrong about everything? She guessed not.

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

"Oh, lord," Maki Sushi Imp sighed, deadpan. "Not this again."

"Stop saying our lord's name in vain, he's listening!" Fish and Chips Puck cried.

"Oh lord, oh lord, oh lord, oh lord, oh lord, oh lord, oh lord!" Maki Sushi Imp screeched on repeat, but such had been met with childish screams.

"La la la la la, can't hear you!" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "Sorry, I'm deaf in three ears!"

"You only have two ears, moron," Fried Shrimp Fiend groaned. "Anyway, Sweet and Sour Kingdom has attacked our bastion. Since there's no bounties to attack, we're toast! We'll lose by default at this rate!"

"My word! Giving up already?!" Fish Fingers Troll cried. "We'll just knock them underwater and we'll do the cannonball challenge, simple!"

"Could all of you stop talking, and get running?!" Chocolate Taiyaki Tengu cried. "They already destroyed six of our towers!"

Commotion going, Canned Tuna Mermaid hopped back into the river. Sweet and Sour Kingdom, who did they think they were attacking her bastion, huh? Eliminating all their bounties with those stupid Sausage Syndicate monsters! She ought to shoot them dead! Bastion soon approaching, she could feel a bright idea come into her mind.

That's right.

She'll use that.

The surefire solution to wipe these nuisances clean off this planet.

***

"I can't believe those foreign aliens dared to step onto our soils and
Wiped out all our bounties! With all those passport requests coming
In over the past few weeks, I should have
Looked deeper into everything rather than just putting my stamp of approval, and
Look what happened! I heard what those

Beasts went and did to Palace of Pears. They
Ended up turning that place into nothing but a wasteland! And if they think they can do that to my kingdom,

Uhuhu, I'll make sure they'll never walk again! Not only that, I'll make
Sure they never see the sun again,
It might not be a well known fact here in Villa of Fishies since this race doesn't live here, but plant demons have one weakness.
Now, I'm going to just go out and say it! It's their necks! And this
Goes the same for meat demons, too. Their weakness is their necks. If you

Even so much as wrap your fingers around them, they can't fight back! Now,
Most of the kingdoms that do attack us are long gone.
Err, what was one of the ones that went extinct
Recently? Oh, that's right, Tomato Kingdom. Well, they're
Gone now, and I've heard that one of their denizens has been welcomed into Strawberry Kingdom. I despise
Everything about that kingdom at the top of Satiation Kingdom. They're seemingly untouchable. But, I'd
Never dare attack that kingdom hastily. Like,
Come on now! Everyone knows that Strawberry Kingdom always wins somehow, some way. But, whatever, let's move on.
Yes, a meat demon's weakness is their neck.

Meat demons flesh is
Especially lacking in that department,
As their little nape is nothing but
Sausage there, and you know what's wimpy? Sausages.
Ugh, I can't believe these
Rancid toxic fools planned on turning my kingdom into another Palace of Pears.
Everything makes so much
Sense now! The lack of bounties recently,

Those stupid demons convinced
Our citizens to sneak them through the border and let them

Enter our territory! I should have hired border control, but
Let's be honest here, how was
I supposed to know this would happen? I
May be a queen, a sovereign, if you will, but
In the end, my right hand demons
Never tell me anything about what's going on
At the border. To be completely honest here, no one does. And,
That's because there is no one on border control.
Egad, should I have done something about

That sooner. Now that I
Have foreign aliens on the premises here attempting to
End it all. I should have built a wall! A thick,
Sturdy wall. While we aren't as close to other kingdoms. Sausage Syndicate isn't
Exactly that far away from here either. I'd

Say, should I have to estimate
That it's close enough to swim, but
Ugh! I know this is my fault, but let me
Preface this. I didn't know this was going on, and look,
It's not my fault this happened! If these
Dumb right hand demons of mine would actually tell me things like they're supposed to, this wouldn't have happened! I shouldn't

Place the blame on them, but I'm
Especially fuming right now! But, I
Suppose I am part of
The blame for not asking. I mean, until today, my
Stock of canned mermaid meat and uncanned mermaid meat

Had not run out. So, I didn't
Even thinking anything was wrong here. Or
Rather, I guess, had this not happened, I wouldn't have
Even cared, I guess.

You know what, fine! I'll admit it! I'll admit
Everything, I care more about filling my stomach than some of the affairs

Here that go on in my kingdom, but like, can you
Even blame me at this point? I'd much
Rather be eating my juicy mermaid meat than anything
Else. My duties as a queen matter, but like. Mermaid meat is my bread and brother!

Yes, alright, I admit I have an
Eeensy problem, my stomach is more important,

To me than my entire country, but at least
I admitted it! Baby steps! Now, I plan on
Mutilating these monsters for daring to
End my supply of mermaid meat!

They'll pay for that!
Of course, that means my

Darling harpoon is coming for their necks, and
I won't be sorry for doing that!
Ehehe, demons, demons,
You're going down!
Ehehe! Heh heh."

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Reaching the sight of the bastion, a boggy swamp with absolutely no bounties to be found, the queen cracked her knuckles. These monsters, why she oughta. She's going to drown them right here, right now, mark her words! Not a single one of these beasts will live to see tomorrow! It was time to die for eliminating her precious, juicy mermaid meat stock!

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Error: There are no bounties to hunt. Commencing underwater warfare instead.

Objective: Defeat all enemies or use a canon ball to eliminate all towers. Optional: kill a leviathan for extra points.

"What do you mean underwater warfare?!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "You goons told me if we eliminate all their bounties with toxic poisons and we'd win by default and I'd be able to get back in the top ten and bring back my dead comrades!"

"I'm as confused as you are right now!" Sausage Goon number one cried.

Splash.

"Aaah!" the stupid demon cried.

Plop.

Plop.


Kerplunk!

Stupid meat killers plopped into the ocean, the queen readied for the dive of her life. These fiends, their necks are gonna get it ooooh, their necks are so going to get it. She couldn't wait to launch this harpoon and smash them all. Who cares about destroying the towers? They're going down. After all, those sirens said or, not and! These necks are going to blow!

"Your Majesty! her battle team cried. "What are you doing?"

"You four stay out of it! I'll take care of these monsters myself!" Canned Tuna Mermaid cried.

"Suit yourself!" Fish and Chips Puck cried. "But, I'm telling you, you're going to lose by yourself, they have toxic weapons!"

"Keep your opinions to yourself!" Canned Tuna Mermaid cried, splash.

Becoming one with the underwater world, the queen swam with all her might towards the stupid plant demon. Dumb little imp sinking, she smirked. Perfect, perfect, this monster couldn't even swim. Harpoon out and ready, it had rode the water like its life depended on it.

Slice, slice, sliceroo.

Hands soon around the monsters neck, she gave the wimpy little nape a tight squeeze, little crack echoing on the bubbles, she watched as the fiend's eyes had become white and lifeless. Finally, this monster has been taken care of. This meat destroying monster. Harpoons aplenty tossed at the towers, she swam off towards the pitiful sinking wieners.

"She?!" the sausage syndicate goon cried.

"She knows our--!" the other sausage syndicate goon cried. But, they could soon feel their air die. "Eeeeeh, eeeeeeeeeh, weakness."

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

Goons done away with, a smirk soon decorated the queen's face. Yes, yes, they're gone! They're done away with, hallelujah! These meat killers were dead, hallelujah! Turning her tail towards the backside, she gave the corpses a nice good little kick. Soul soon pushing itself out of the plant demon, she grit her teeth. Did they want to go for more? She'd give them more!

"You think this is over, huh?" the ghost of Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Think again! Legume Empire will be reanimating us all! We'll get our revenge!"

Starved.

Returning to the surface, the queen soon returned to her office. Trying to focus her attention on as many affairs as possible as the days went on, a repeat problem had been brought to her attention. Shortage of food here, shortage of food there, shortage of food everywhere, she could feel her rage begin to grow as every hour passed by. Slumping into the little tub underneath her, everything had begun to grow read.

She'll make Sausage Syndicate pay for messing with the food supply.

---

Alright, so after this one, it's back to Strawberry Kingdom.

 

[Palamon]

Strawberry Kingdom 2: Centuries Without a Day Off

---

"Welcome back to Strawberry Kingdom, miss me, much?
Ehehe, course you did, as you should, I, Strawberry Shark Queen have
Lead my Kingdom up to the top. And, dethroning me has
Come to be impossible, no one will ever come close!
Ohoho ho, so you went and visited other Kingdoms,
Mmm? Did you see how
Especially pitiful they are?

Bet you saw Villa of Fishies,
And let me just say they're
Completely pitiful! The weakest of the weak,
Kukuku, since last time,

That tomato farmer I bought has proven useful! He's a master
Of farming, just like his name!

Since then, of course the
Tomato Kingdom has since collapsed, but I might help them
Rebuild since their son they sold to me is useful! But under one condition they
Affiliate themselves
With my Kingdom. So far, talks have
Barely proceed on this as I have an
Eternal amount of things to get done, so
Rediscussions of trying to
Rebuild Tomato Kingdom have
Yet to go anywhere is it a shame? A little, but Strawberry

Kingdom moves fast! As the queen,
I have so much that has to get done in a day, I
Never can truly be expected to
Get through the entire list, now can I? Of course I can't.
Don't get me wrong, it's
One of my top priorities at the
Moment to rebuild Tomato Kingdom, because there's something

I've been hearing lately! Sweet And Sour Kingdom, those
Miserable losers who lost everything have

Since attacked every other Kingdom in the
Top ten as revenge and now,
It would seem they have contacted a necromancer in
Legume Empire! Now,
Let me say something

About that! If
They think becoming a zombie will be able to

Take down my kingdom, think again! I
Have been at the top forever. And it's
Especially impossible to knock me off

The top spot! We've built
Our second, third and fourth bastions with
Pretty different rules than the first.

But, at the moment, I am not going to focus on my queenly duties!
Uhuhu, you see, I, along with
The rest of us, yes, this includes Panda

Tomato Farmer, by the way, are taking a little holiday. Probably a beach holiday.
Oh? Since when does a queen such as I have time to take a break? I
Do, I'll have you know! What, do people think I
Always have to work forever? No! I need a vacation, just a day or two,
You know being a ruler is tiring sometimes!

I need a break, too! I might be

At the top of Satiation Kingdom, and other kingdoms
Might attack me at any

Time, but I can take them
All out with a flick of the wrist! Let me remind you, my
Kingdom is at the top.
I am in the number one position. The
Number one position here. But, I
Guess people doubt that I am

At the top and completely underestimate me! But, listen here, that's a

Big mistake! You probably shouldn't underestimate me, nor my powerful
Resources as a ruler! I have endless resources, you see?
Ehehe, but of course, feel free to doubt me, that's your choice. I'll
Always be at the top of Satiation
Kingdom, don't forget that! People have

Failed time and time again to claim my spot at the top. My kingdom is the most
Regal and unstoppable of them all. And, I always will be,
Of course! I'll never fall to second place, and
Maybe Sweet And Sour Kingdom should learn a thing or two before attacking

My Kingdom again! But, they won't. But,
You know what? I hardly care! I'm preparing for vacation right now. But, I guess if they

Do try and attack, we'll win anyway!
Uhuhu, of course I will! After all, my kingdom is clearly
The best here, and
It will be the best for all
Eternity! So, come on
Sweet And Sour Kingdom, come at me and get crushed all over again!"

It had been about a month and a half since the Strawberry Shark Queen had agreed to buy Panda Tomato Farmer from the fallen Tomato Kingdom. Proving quite useful in Kingdom Warfare, the queen allowed the pitiful lad become one of the highest members within the royal palace. Days in Strawberry Kingdom proceeding as normal, many weaklings in this time would try to challenge them all, but none succeeded in shaking Strawberry Kingdom from the top.

Recently building a second, third and fourth bastion with various different battle styles and rules, not a single other kingdom had come close to the prowess of Strawberry Kingdom in any shape or form. Queenly duties continuing as normal, tiresome days kept going, but a repeat thought had pushed through the queen's mind.

He needed a vacation, desperately. How many years had it been since the demon had gotten time away from the throne? The royal couldn't remember anymore, but it had been far too long, that's for sure. Had it been centuries? Possibly. He and his royal crew hadn't seen the beach in like, forever! But, it's not like he could abandon his duties. One wrong step and kaboom, a bastion would die, and Strawberry Kingdom would fall to second place, that couldn't happen. But, the desire had continued to grow as the days grew longer and more dragged out.

The bright red achene sun was shining behind a shiny pink cloud today over the skies of Strawberry Kingdom. The birds were singing, the bees were pollinating, everything was as pleasant like it always was in the top kingdom within Satiation Kingdom, but for one particular demon, today was yet another painful reminder of being a ruler.

Peep, peep, peep, peep, peep.

The morning songbirds were tweeting up a storm by the queen's window. Chirping up a racket, a quiet groan had been eaten for absolutely no one to hear. Oh, wonderful, another morning. Another day of long, tiresome duties as the queen. Could all the diplomats who need assistance today just fall off the face of the country? If only magic were able to accomplish that. Slamming a pillow over his head, the Strawberry Shark Queen groaned. Two more hours, please. No, ten, twenty? How about fifty.

Hearing a knock on the opposite end of the door, the ruler dropped his head underneath the cover. Right hand demons, begone. Digging a deeper hole, he tried to cocoon himself into the bed. Maybe if his tail gets stuck on something, he won't be able to escape! So long, queenly duties, he regrets to inform everyone, he has trapped himself in a little cocoon, how unfortunate! Buh bye!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

But, the knock persisted. Pillow tossed at the entranceway, it had been quite ineffective. Head cushion silent as ever, the royal groaned. He should have filled up one of these things with rocks, that would have done it, that's for sure. He was slacking on the morning defense department. Pounds reaching an all time high, screeches soon followed.

"Your Majesty, it's time to wake up," Watermelon Jackal Angel's voice said on the opposite end of the door. "Why are you still sleeping?"

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

"Honestly, Your Majesty, what's with you lately?" Penguin Elf Apple asked. "Did we do something to upset you?

Usual voices coming from the opposite end of the door, the demon tossed another head cushion at the entranceway. Did they do something to upset him? How dare they even ask him that! Day in and day out, both of them had been saying they don't have time to take a break, there's not time to go to the beach. He was the queen, and if he wanted to take a break, then so be it! But, no, everyone kept rejecting such request!

Clck, clck, clck.

"Your Majesty!" Watermelon Jackal Angel cried. "What are you doing under there? Get up!"


"Angel, where is he?" Penguin Elf Apple asked.

"Come in and see for yourself, it won't surprise you, though." She slapped her palm across her forehead as she said such.

"Your Majesty, why are you burying yourself inside your covers?!" Penguin Elf Apple asked in an exclamatory tone. "You need to get ready, the Diplomats from Tomato Kingdom are coming today to discuss rebuilding their kingdom with you!"

Burying himself deeper into the hole, the queen let out a groan. Not this again, they had been trying to negotiate for ages now to rebuild that kingdom, but no progress has been made at all. Honestly, what's the point in continuing these talks? So far, they've gone nowhere! Absolutely gone off to a standstill. Can't everyone let him have a nice long day at the beach? Swimming season would be over soon! Every single day for centuries it's been work, work, work! One day away from it all wouldn't collapse the kingdom!

Roll, roll, roll.

"Your Majesty, do you intend to keep playing this game?" Watermelon Jackal Angel cried. "Why are you being so difficult lately? The diplomats are going to be here in an hour!"

"Your Majesty, we don't know what we all did to upset you, but, please, can you come out of your bed?" Penguin Elf Apple asked. "At least tell us what we did wrong!"

Undoing the burrito, the queen reached for a writing pad. Oh, he'll tell them what they did wrong, alright, he'll tell them all they need to know! Locks plopping over his face, the royal grit his teeth. Wonderful, wonderful, look at what these two made him do now! His hair was a mess, how unbefitting of a queen!

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You know what you two did! None of you will let me take a nice break on the beach! Can't a queen such as myself get one day off, one? I've been working tirelessly for the past few centuries. I demand a break!| A written paper note said. But, silence and collective groans soon followed.

"We know, Your Majesty, and we keep telling you that taking a break is not possible right now," Watermelon Jackal Angel sighed, shaking her head. "We have so much work to do with trying to rebuild Tomato Kingdom, and a few others. There's simply just not enough time to step away."

"I get how you feel, Your Majesty, I really do," Penguin Elf Apple said, sighing. "I really, truly do, but there's no one else to hold the fort in your stead. Strawberry Kingdom doesn't have a vice ruler. It's just the six of us here. Unless someone else stays behind, we can't go on a break just like that."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|It's not like anything will happen if I'm gone one single day, or even for one single afternoon! You two are being ridiculous! I want a break! Let me go to the beach! You two act like the entire kingdom will collapse if I'm gone for even an hour! Nothing will happen if the six of us step away for even a bit!| A written paper note said.

But, a long silence soon followed, pesky demons looking his way, the queen curled his cuticles. What, did they have nothing to say to that? Then, he was right! Let him go on a day trip, for crying out loud! Everything was fine, wasn't it? Nothing was going to happen if he had close up the palace for twenty four hours. It's not like he couldn't take out other attacking kingdoms, either. They had built three more bastions. No more ruling, no more diplomats, no more pitiful loser's dirty looks!

Reaching for a postcard in the corner, the royal wanted to bury himself back underneath the covers. The ruler of Cheese World kept saying she wanted to visit him again and go to the beach together, but no! He always had to decline, he always had to say he had to rule over his kingdom. He didn't sign up for this thousand year curse of never having a day off! Let him spread his wings at least once every century, for crying out loud!

"We know that, Your Majesty, truly, we do, but we're so busy every day, you know?" Penguin Elf Apple sighed, hands up in the air. But, she then changed tune. "We'll discuss this later, okay? Can you please get out of bed?"

False promises dabbed with buckets of honey, the queen hopped from his bed quarters. Harumph, sure, sure they'd discuss it later. If later was his grave, he bet! But, it was time to stop being difficult and be a proper ruler. So long, vacation, never happening again, that's for sure. Yet another day of work upon work upon work. Groan.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Go get my apple oil at once!| A written paper note said.

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Watermelon Jackal Angel cried.

Strutting off to the private restroom, a tiresome beast soon awaited him by the door with an aggravated look on her face. Oh, girl, was Cranberry Lynx Devil going to yell at him, too? Your Majesty, why are you up so late today? Why he oughta, if they all let him go to the beach and have private time away from ruling this Kingdom, maybe he'd be a little more cooperative. But, no! Still at it with they have to do this, they have to see that. Imprisoning himself in a jar sounded fun right about now!

"Your Majesty, why are you up so late again today?" Cranberry Lynx Devil asked. "Tomato Kingdom's Diplomats will be here today. We can't keep them waiting."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|It'll go the same as it always does! In the month we have been trying to assist them in rebuilding their kingdom, nothing has happened!| A written note exclaimed.

"I know, Your Majesty, it's been really frustrating," Cranberry Lynx Devil responded to the note. "But, I promise, this time, we'll reach a deal. Now, let's get you ready for the day, alright? Here's your apple oil. The three of us will give you some space."

Demons stepping away, a little spritzing soon took place. Tail as shiny as ever, the queen wanted to throw the bottle across the room. Cranberry Lynx Devil had been saying that for the past few weeks now. She promises they'll reach a deal. Blah, blah, blah. Every single time, plans fall through. And, the same would happen this time as well. He should just end negotiations already once and for all.

Bright red sweater dress with center cross stitching and pink floor length skirt with chocolate strawberry hearts on the flounce, the demon headed off towards the salon room. But, he could find his motivation begin to die in a ditch somewhere. What's the point of continuing these dumb negotiations anyway? They were continuing to stay at a standstill. And, they probably would forever at this rate. Harumph, so annoying.

"How do you want your hair today, Your Majesty?" Cranberry Lynx Devil asked. "Would it be alright if I suggest a style that would compliment this dress?"

Hiss.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You dare think you can give me suggestions? Put my hair up in a low ponytail, or else!| A Written Paper Note said.

"That's what I was going to suggest, my queen," Cranberry Lynx Devil said. "Do you want sparkles on your strawberry bumps today as well?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You'd better. Chop, chop.| A written paper note said.

"Of course, right away," Cranberry Lynx Devil responded.

Hair soon pulled into a low ponytail, the queen's facial spots were sparkly as ever. He was the brightest star in the sky as usual. The fairest one of them all. Clicking the hairpins and earrings into place shorty after, everyone soon made their way to the dining room, but there was one demon missing from the party.

"Good morning, Your Majesty, your breakfast has gotten slightly cold," Red Pepper Demon greeted. "But, it should still be fine to eat. But, I would be quick if I were you. The Tomato Kingdom diplomats will be here in twenty minutes."

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Where's Panda Tomato Farmer?| The written paper note asked.

"He's standing outside tending to the garden as usual," Red Pepper Demon responded. "He still doesn't seem comfortable eating with us."

Hearing such, the queen let out a barely audible laugh. After the month and a half of being in this kingdom, he still did not feel comfortable here? How dare he! He had given him everything he asked for. A garden to tend to, and so much more. Was it not enough? maybe he shouldn't have bought this demon in the first place! This ungrateful little imp.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Hand me my breakfast now. I'm going to the garden!| The written paper note said.

"Okay, Your Majesty, if you insist, here you go," Red Pepper Demon responded. "But, you really don't have time for this."

Zoom.

Speeding off to the garden, the pitiful tomato farmer had been cutting branches aplenty, snip, snip, snip. Little scissor pruning here, little snipper cutting there, the garden was absolute perfection like always. He could never understand why this demon decided to isolate himself in this little garden every day! It's not like he bit, much. Yet, anyway.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Why do you isolate yourself? I deemed you useful, didn't I?| The written paper note asked. But, such had been met with instant rejection.

"Your Majesty, I couldn't possibly let myself into your royal palace! I'm not worthy!" Panda Tomato Farmer cried waving his hands in the air. "I'm just your farmer, I'm not even in your parliament!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|I bought you from your pitiful falling kingdom, didn't I?| The written paper note asked.

"You did, but," Panda Tomato Farmer said, voice trailing off. "Even still, I'm not worthy!"

Munch, much, munch.

Chewing his morning meal with a ferocity, the queen held in a scoff. Even after forty five days, he was still saying the same thing. He's not worthy. Harumph, keep telling himself that! But, then something hit him like a ton of bricks. This demon, if he were in the palace with him when the diplomats came, maybe they'd finally agree on an arrangement for rebuilding the Kingdom! Yes, yes, perfect, this was a surefire solution!

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You want to feel worthy? Then make yourself useful today and help negotiate with the Tomato Kingdom diplomats so we can finally get the rebuilding project off the ground!| The written paper note exclaimed.

"Okay, Your Majesty, I'll try," Panda Tomato Farmer said, bowing his head. "But, are you sure? What if they don't listen to me?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Aren't you from there originally? I bought you from them, did I not? They'll listen to you.| The written paper note said.

"Okay, I'll try my best," Panda Tomato Farmer said. "I don't know if they'll listen to me, but I won't let you down!"

Curling his cuticles, the ruler strutted off towards the palace room. Pitiful panda following behind him, a smirk decorated the royal's face. This time, this would work, surely. No more of this nonsense! Throne laid out in front of him, the regal chair was practically calling his name. Sitting cross-legged, the afternoon bells chimed.

"Your Majesty, the Diplomats have arrived," Cranberry Lynx Devil said, but she soon recoiled two steps back. "Why is Panda Tomato Farmer here?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|He's helping us negotiate with the diplomats today! Let them in already!| The written paper note cried.

"Alright, my queen, right away," Cranberry Lynx Devil said, stepping away.

Drumming his fingers upon the throne chair, the queen whistled. This time, these annoying diplomats had better listen to reason!

->

A few minutes later.

Pitiful Tomato Kingdom diplomats standing before him, the weak sauce leaders bowed their head to him like they did every meeting. Ha, look at these pitiful weaklings, always bowing. Maybe if they bowed a little father, they'd be sent straight to the Ackee Wastelands! Meek demons raising their heads, he knew another day of failed negotiations were going to slide off the table.

"Fair day, Your Majesty the Strawberry Shark Queen," the diplomat greeted. "We apologize for our past failures to reach a negotiation on rebuilding the Tomato Kingdom with you, but this time, we're willing to listen to anything you decree!" They placed their hands into a praying position as they said such. "This time, we really mean it! Anything you say, we'll listen!"

Pitiful demon proclaiming they would do anything, the queen put on a smirk. Oh, really, anything, would they? Then, dance on their heads and call themselves a bunch of weak morons! But, he couldn't decree that. Who would take him seriously as a queen if he were to utter such a thing? No one would, that's for sure!

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'you will be discussing negotiations with Panda Tomato Farmer and I. You'd better not back out of negotiations this time, or you can forget us helping you rebuild your kingdom at all!' Cranberry Lynx Devil read aloud. But, heads soon tilted at such.

"Your Majesty, I fail to comprehend this," the diplomat said, tilting their head.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'either accept this proposal to negotiate with the two of us, or you can kiss any further attempts to rebuild your kingdom goodbye!' Cranberry Lynx Devil read aloud.

"Please, hear me out!" Panda Tomato Farmer cried, bowing his head. "I know everyone wants our kingdom to return to its full former glory, but, I must admit, we'll never be back to our prime!" He placed his hands into a praying stance as he said such. "I know you want what's best for Tomato Kingdom, but you have been asking for a little too much, don't you think? Maybe we should start small?"

Panda Tomato Farmer taking the floor, the ruler rose an eyebrow. When did this pathetic farmer hear all that? Had he been eavesdropping on their multiple conversations? He ought to send this weakling to the Ackee Wastelands for that! But, ah, no, maybe he had been caught into all this by association, this pitiful little demon was from Tomato Kingdom, after all. No need to jump to conclusions.

"Maybe you're right, we have been asking for a little too much! What were we thinking, asking you for a million acres of land?!" the diplomat cried. "Your Majesty, how does about two hundred thousand acres acres to start off sound?"

Number cut off considerably, the queen switched the position of his legs. Oh, that's all it took, huh? Panda Tomato Farmer was far more useful than he thought! Maybe he should invite him to join the parliament after all! Negotiations would go much more smoothly if this demon were at the helm of it all! Maybe he could be a little kinder to these pitiful demons since they finally got their junk together!

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'you can have three hundred thousand acres to rebuild your kingdom, how does that sound? But remember, you are now affiliated with the Strawberry Kingdom. Be grateful we're taking you under our wing!' Cranberry Lynx Devil read aloud. But such had been met with an immediate bow.

"Three hundred acres will do, Your Majesty, we thank you for everything!" the diplomat cried, bowing their head. "And, of course, if you ever need us, we'll come to the beck of your call!" They then clapped their hands together. "We'll try our best to get back on our feet quickly!"

Pathetic little diplomat practically falling on their face as they ran out, the doors slammed shut. Harumph, maybe after all this, Tomato Kingdom would finally be competent after all these centuries of failure, and who would they have to thank for that? Him! After all, Strawberry Kingdom was at the top of the food chain!

"Your Majesty, you have a few other concerns to attend to," Watermelon Jackal Angel said. "Crates of shipments of medicine seem to be getting lost in sea for some reason lately, and the logistics team would like to speak to you about it."

"And, the yearly raspberry festival is in danger of being cancelled due to rising tension with Sweet and Sour Kingdom," Penguin Elf Apple added. "I know you're tired of hearing this, but we're going to have another busy afternoon today."

"I thought we eliminated Sweet and Sour Kingdom!" Red Pepper Demon cried.

"It would seem not," Cranberry Lynx Devil said, shaking her head. "There's been some disturbing developments lately."

"We'll knock them out for good this time, mark my words!" Red Pepper Demon cried.

Dragged around to all the boring nitty gritty, the queen could feel the sand underneath his feet. Why couldn't he have a vacation? One day off would do! Everything has been the same lately. Failed negotiations, lost medicine crates in shipping, let him go to the beautiful cherry beach for once in his life! Reading today's postcard from Blue Cheese Empress during a moment of reprieve, he wanted the world collapse around him. Someone let him take a vacation already, for crying out loud.

But, that late evening, it finally happened.

The magical words.

"Your Majesty, the three of us have been thinking, and you're right, we all could use a day off," Cranberry Lynx Devil said, eyes glued to the queen. "We discussed matters with Cheese World, and in one week's time, we'll go to cherry beach. If you are fine with it, we will make sure you don't have any work that day."

The queen almost did a double take hearing such. Did his ears deceive him? A day off, twenty four hours away from his duties? Beautiful, sign him up! He'd put up with a week of boring negotiations and lost crates aplenty! Where was this demon's feet? He could kiss them right about now! Finally, he has been set free for one whole day, hallelujah!

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|No takebacks!| The written Note paper cried.

"Of course not, my queen, we have already arranged it," Cranberry Lynx Devil said. "Unless another kingdom attacks us, nothing will get in our way of this day off."

Possible roadblock put in the fork of the street, the queen let out a laugh. Another kingdom attacking, huh? If that happens, he'll knock them out dead! Who did these weak kingdoms think they were trying to fight, hmm? He'll take out every single one of them! Resuming duties for the next few days, the beach plastered itself deep into his mind.

->

One Week Later

Boring days over and over finally coming to a close, the holy day had finally arrived. Vacation day, the one and only. Everything closed as promised, a bright white swimsuit with heart shaped strawberries decorated the queen's chest. Belly slightly exposed his tail swished behind him. Finally, after all this time, for once in his life, he had a split second to himself.

Knock, knock, knock.

At the front of the entrance of his private quarters had been the cheesy haired demons he remembered. Blue Cheese Empress accompanied by Swiss Cheese Elf, the ruler put on a warm smile. Thank goodness that annoying ram lord and those other dudes hadn't tagged along. They weren't befit to go on a private outing with a queen!

"It's been such a long time, honey," Blue Cheese Empress greeted. "How have you been?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Tired of having to rule without a break for centuries is how I've been!| The written note cried.

"I feel you," Swiss Cheese Elf said, sighing. "In our kingdom, we almost never get a break, either. We almost had to beg for a break to come here!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|That's how it has been on my end, too. My parliament intends to keep me working until I croak of old age! But, I am not a queen today, just a normal citizen.| The written paper note said.

"We really need to fix that, don't we?" Blue Cheese Empress asked. "Speaking of which, where is your parliament?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|I sent them along with the rest of the members of my bastion to cherry beach before me. Where is the rest of yours?| The written paper note asked.

"We know you aren't fond of most men, so we told them not to come," Swiss Cheese Elf said. "And, Cheesy Macaroni Fox is afraid of sand. She thinks it'll melt her."

Hearing such, the demon let out a tiny giggle. Same old fox, how had she not gotten over that phobia by now? But, ah, who cares? He never got along with that demon, anyway. She always tried to tell him how to run his kingdom, get out of town with that nonsense! Strutting along the way off towards the raspberry carriage, the cart automatically accelerated forward.

Reaching a bright, red sanded beach with cherry seashells everywhere, the queen almost wanted to roll around in the sediment immediately. Sweet, sweet, cherry beach, come to mama! Those little sprites he purchased all those centuries ago to keep this land clean had been paying off, that's for sure!

"Woah, this beach is like, so clean, I could totally eat on the floor if I wanted to!" Swiss Cheese Elf cried. "Not that I would, or anything, course!"

"That's because the Melon Sprites the queen bought from us when I came here have been keeping the land clean," Watermelon Jackal Angel butt in. "Hello, sister, it's been so long since I've seen you. How have you been?"

"I've had a few minor hiccups here and there, but I've been doing pretty good otherwise," Blue Cheese Empress said. "It's nice to see you again. What about you?"

"Things have been going great, thank you for asking," Watermelon Jackal Angel responded. She then turned around. "But, I'll leave the three of you alone." But, such had been met with another scream.

"Sis!" Swiss Cheese Elf cried, waving. "It's been like, forever since I've seen you!"

"It sure has," Penguin Elf Apple said. "I haven't seen you since Apple Kingdom was absorbed into Strawberry Kingdom." But, such had been interrupted.

"I thought you said we wouldn't bother the queen while he's with his friends!" Cranberry Lynx Devil cried. "He hasn't seen them in centuries."

"And, I haven't seen my sister in centuries either," Penguin Elf Apple bit back. "Can't I at least talk to her?"

"Can't you let the queen have his alone time for a little while?" Red Pepper Demon chimed in. "I thought you always told us you and your sister didn't get along!"

"I have since apologized and made up with them," Penguin Elf Apple responded. "Can't I at least catch up with her?"

"Uh, forgive me for this, but wouldn't it be better to let the queen connect with his friends?" Panda Tomato Farmer asked. "He's been waiting so long for this."

"Alright, fine." Penguin Elf Apple sighed under her breath as she said such.

Splash.

Cheese demons and he going for a long swim, the warm ocean engulfed the ruler. Sweet, salty, beautiful beach, how long it had been since he had been here. Maybe he should demand he get a break once every three months, that'd be golden! As if that would ever happen, though. He was a queen buried into these duties for the foreseeable future. Not like he was reluctant, or anything! Hours passing, the queen let out a giggle as he returned to shore.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|I challenge you all to a sand castle making contest!| The written paper note cried.

"Those are fighting words!" Red Pepper Demon cried. "I won't lose!"

Demons running onto the playing field, a large castle of sand with seven different doors was about to blow everyone's pitiful little forts away. Pointing, another giggle was let loose. These pitiful demons call those a sand castle? How pitiful! What a pathetic excuse! They needed to learn a thing or two about sand construction!

Broop, broop, broop.

Alert, alert, Strawberry Kingdom is under attack. Sweet and Sour Kingdom has issued a Kingdom Warfare Challenge in Bastion Number Four.

"How did they find our fourth bastion?!" Red Pepper Demon cried. "Why I oughta!"

"I knew they'd wait to attack us after we went on vacation," Cranberry Lynx Devil whispered, sighing. "This is why I didn't think taking a day off was a good idea!" As she said such, she had begun running. "We have to hurry, my queen! I've heard Sweet and Sour Kingdom have been breaking multiple kingdoms rules! If we don't be quick, they'll attack all of our towers!"

Standing upward, the queen grit his teeth. How dare these freaks attack his kingdom when it was his off day! He'll make these demons pay! Pedaling to the medal, an invitation had come the cheese demon's way. This stupid, pitiful Sweet and Sour Kingdom, this time, he'll knock them out so good they'll never stand again! Bastion soon reached, he cracked his knuckles.

He'll break these demons into a million pieces this time!

***

"How dare these demons think they can attack my kingdom again?
Oh, they're just asking to die again, aren't they?
Well, challenge accepted! I won't allow them to breathe another breath! They

Dare attack me on my day off when I
Am trying to enjoy myself on the Cherry Beach!
Rancid waste these demons are!
Ever so often, I hear

That name again, Sweet and Sour Kingdom, and I gag!
How dare they still persist after I
Eliminated their leader! And, they
Still dare to live after death? Disgusting!
Eh! Well, they attacked my fourth bastion! And, they made a big mistake! The

Petit Cherry Bastion, as I call it, there's something different about this one! When you
Enter Kingdom Warfare, everyone is
Sentenced to something we like
To call, a Nature Trial, and people
Stand on the podium

And their crimes against nature are plastered
To the entire kingdom! What?
That's a weird Kingdom Warfare?
Ah, well, you see, I live in a kingdom with lush,
Clean environments. And if you dare ever commit a crime against nature, you can die, for all I care! So, we decided to create this bastion where crimes against nature are weighted. Once the
Knowledge is broadcasted, towers are destroyed. The

More crimes against nature
You have committed, the less towers you get! Ah, yes, that

Kingdom Warfare may sound stupid to you, but
I wouldn't dare ever cut down trees!
Never, not in a million years,
Get real! What kind of queen
Do you take me for, hmm? I might be
One ruthless ruler, but you do not cross
Me on nature! I have done

All I can to make sure the farmlands are perfect, I have
Gone to make sure everything is
Absolute perfection! And, that's how
It goes! Everything is perfect!
Now, Sweet and Sour Kingdom,

They got to stand up for their
Horrible sins! I hear that lot
Established themselves deep into the Sausage Syndicate's business! The

Nerve of them! Don't they
Ever think of who they're pairing up with? Those
Rancid wastes of space have
Very much destroyed
Entire kingdoms trough

Illegal means! I hope they're teaming up with that
Lot so I can take out these demons immediately! I mean,
Look, they've gone to drastic measures, and I won't

Ever let them hear the end of it!
Not a chance, never! And if they
Dare try to skirt around it,

They'll be killed dead a second time!
Hahaha, ohoho, watch me humiliate them for all
Eternity! Because this time,
My bastion will decide their fate before they even fight!"

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Crck, crck, crck.

Battle sirens soon tooting away, a large little scale waited for everyone. Stupid zombie demons aligning themselves with the Sausage Syndicate dooms, locks and chains soon surrounded the forty towers upon the battlefield. Smirking, the queen cracked his knuckles. Oh, how wonderful, those slime balls were here. This would be the easiest win of all time.

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Objective: Everyone must stand trial and have their crimes against nature broadcasted to the entire kingdom. If a total count of more than five serious violations towards nature have been found, the opposing kingdom will automatically forfeit and have all towers destroyed immediately.

This judgement is not optional.

"And, here I thought attacking the queen on his day off would be easy!" Zombie Spicy Curry Dragon cried. "What is this?! Jalapeno Burger Plant, I thought you said they'd be distracted with the beach!"

"I thought that, too, but they've since built three more bastions!" Zombie Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "What is this nonsense about standing trial?"

"Standing trial to crimes against nature, you've got to be kidding!" Sour Plum Badger cried, face growing dark. "No, since we're teamed up with Sausage Syndicate--!" But, such had been interrupted.

"Don't say it!" Chili Dog Kraken cried.

"Zip it!" Buffalo Wings Hydra Cried.

Toot, toot, toot.

Cheese World, Stand Trial.

"Huh, so we have to stand trial too?" Blue Cheese Empress asked. "Alright, do your worst."

Blue Cheese Empress standing on top the podium, the Strawberry Shark Queen crossed his arms across his waist. This demon had better not have any crimes against her involving nature, or he swore he would drop this empress like a hot red potato right here and right now! Scanner twisting around her body, a green colored beep pinged throughout the area.

Cheese World has committed no crimes against nature. Only ethical practices have been found to be used in the construction of their amusement parks.

"But how?! That has to be a lie!" Zombie Sour Yogurt Dragon cried. "That can't be true!"

"I bet that machine's inaccurate!" Chili Dog Hydra cried.

Toot, toot, toot.

Sweet And Sour Kingdom, Stand Trial.

"You'll see! We've never committed any crimes against nature ever!" Zombie Jalapeno Burger Plant cried.

Smirking as the pitiful zombie plant demon stood on the podium, sirens screamed out into the open, demonic smile cracking wide open, the ruler could feel a win right in the back. Oh, this machine was inaccurate, hmm? What a funny joke! This little algorithm knew all! He could hear it now, they'll say the same thing they just uttered!

Two serious violations found: intentional forest fire and toxic waste spread. Ten towers will automatically self destruct in three, two, one.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

"No way! I demand a take back!" Zombie Buffalo Wings Hydra cried. "That never happened!"

Note: there will be no redoes. Judgement has been called upon you.

"You, shut up, announcer!" Zombie Buffalo Hydra kicked the air as she cried such.

Toot, toot, toot.

Sausage Syndicate, Stand Trial.

Bwoop, bwoop, bwoop.

Three hundred violations found: nuclear destruction of various kingdoms. The opposing team loses by default.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.

"You've got to be kidding?! That many?!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "Why did we team up with them?!"

Starved.

"We'll get our revenge for this, Strawberry Kingdom!" Zombie Spicy Curry Dragon cried. "You will see us again!" Poof.

Magic spell poofing those disgusting zombies away, the demon cracked a toothy smile. As usual, his kingdom had once again weeded out the pitiful! Returning to the beach, one last sand castle making war had broken out. Going his separate ways from his demon pals, he returned to his palace, but he could not help but ponder about a few things.

Maybe it was better to not take a break for centuries at a time. After all, those pesky Sweet and Sour Kingdom fiends could come back at any time. But, the queen shook his head to such. Ah, no, at least once in a red moon, he should be allowed to kick back and relax at the beach, or something! He ought to negotiate with his parliament a bit more about this!

Strutting off to his private quarters, the demons fired up the picture box. Those lame old cartoons that had cheesy messages were airing reruns again. He ought to demand they make better shows that have value to them! Brushing his hair, he let out a scoff as the boring nothings kept going. That Sweet and Sour Kingdom, they were teaming up with other lesser kingdoms now, were they? Kicking back, the giggles kept going until sleeping hour.

Next time, he'll make sure to eliminate those pests for good.

---

I believe I'm doing Strawberry Kingdom episode 3 after this before jumping back to the other kingdoms.

 

[Palamon]

Strawberry Kingdom 3: Tomato Juice Surfing

---

"It's me again, the Strawberry Shark Queen, bow down
To me, peasants!

I have been helping Tomato Kingdom rebuild their weak place! And they're
So miserable! It's been taking so long,

It's so boring and tiresome.

They keep demanding every little thing from us! I
Have to say this isn't what we agreed on! I'm this close to
Ending this alliance, but there's

Something I've been hearing lately
Through the grapevine! The
Red grapevine, if you will! Sweet
And Sour Kingdom has gone and paired up
With that Blueberry Kingdom again! Excuse me,
Blueberry House! Whatever it's called! I don't remember, okay?
Even so, I am about to unleash my
Rage! These peasants think they can come and
Remove my crown, do they? Ha!
You can try all you like, but that

Simply won't happen! We also
Have built a bastion in the newly rebuilt Tomato Kingdom which is now
Absorbed and affiliated with us! So, try to
Remove me from the top all you like! I'm at the number one spot here in Satiation
Kingdom! I don't care at all about this stupid gang leader! I'm a

Queen, and she's just a leader of a gang,
Uhuhu, I'll be rid of her yet,
Especially if the Blueberry Lizard Mother comes herself.
Every single one of those losers
Needs to learn

A lesson on who is at the top here!
Not them, but me!
Don't you forget it! Now, let's

Get to the red meat and red potatoes for today,
Uhuhu, so there is a competition some of the demons on my team are
Entering. It's taking place in Tomato Kingdom,
So, I will be helping with that
Since everyone is begging that I attend!

What kind of competition is it?
Ha, well, a tomato juice surfing contest.
Ah, so it turns out
The acres of land we gave Tomato Kingdom is very rich in oceans and rivers, tomato juice to be specific.

What am I doing? Well, I'm the judge of course.
Everyone was begging and pleading I do it, and so, I plan to be a

Harsh critic! You want to impress me? Well, good luck with that! I
Am a hard sell! A
Very hard sell, let me tell you! There's no
Easy way to impress me. You won't

At all, trust me, it

Comes with the territory, please understand! I'm
One of the most difficult demons to impress, so you
Might as well give up while you're ahead! I
Pretty much do not intend to
Even give a single demon a
Top score! Like, come on, why should
I, hmm? You want
To impress me? You won't
In a million years, not that any of us can reach septuple digits
Or anything, but listen, listen,
No one is as perfect

Of a demon as me! And, of course,
No one ever will be! I'm

The perfect demon, and I
Have assumed my top form for so long. Unlike
Everyone else in this world, who

Has fallen to the wayside. Like Pickle Land. For
One thing, that
Rancid goddess, she doesn't even govern.
It's a mystery how her Kingdom is in the top ten! That
Zealous pickle eater doesn't even do
One thing as a ruler!
Nothing but modeling, we'd

Be better off attacking them, but
Eh! That's a waste of
Time and resources!
That's the truth of the
Entire matter! It'd be
Rather pathetic to attack those

Weaklings anyway, and I won't bother! In
Any case, we will be, no, I will be
The top judge at this Tomato Juice Surfing
Competition, and I will be a
Harsh judge? Want a ten out of ten,

Uhuhu, forget about getting one,
Since it'll never happen under my watch. Enjoy a five out of ten!"

It had been around a month and a half since the Strawberry Shark Queen had finally gotten a vacation after centuries of nonstop working. Tomato Kingdom getting ready to rebuild, the Strawberry Kingdom had assisted the affiliated kingdom get themselves back up on their feet, some very interesting things had been discovered in the acres of land that had been given to them.

Discovering a rich ocean of tomato juice, some new sports had been added to the newly rebuilt kingdom. Remaining living citizens taking up tomato juice surfing, the competition had been on fire. Kingdom changing quite a lot from how it was prior to its fall, the affiliation between Strawberry Kingdom and Tomato Kingdom unifying hand in hand, everything had been going rather smoothly.

But, as the days went on, something had been made rather abundantly clear. The affiliated kingdom wanted a competition system. Something, anything to duke it out against the waves. Multiple forms submitted over and over to approve of monthly surfing contests, the queen's hands were tied. How many times were they going to ask about it at this point? He knew it wouldn't do any good to reject such a request. Ruin their alliance now after absorbing them? Not happening, but one deal had been struck in exchange.

Requiring a bastion be built somewhere within Tomato Kingdom, the ruler had gotten his wish, and then some. Two soon added near a cave in the farthest northern corners, a brand new era for Strawberry Kingdom would soon take Satiation Kingdom by storm. Everything coming together, the world was moving. But, today would mark the day the surfing competitions would finally start themselves up.

The bright achene sun was shining brightly over the skies of Strawberry Kingdom and the affiliated Tomato Kingdom. The birds were singing, the demons were surfing for practice, everything was perfect, like it always was for the queen and the citizens. But, a loud crackle of thunder would soon interrupt everything.

Peep, peep, peep, peep, peep.

Morning songbirds singing in distress, the Strawberry Shark Queen let out a loud grumble. How dare a ackee thunderstorm come out of hiding right now! He ought to have a talk with mother nature about how things should go around here! Today was an important day! Whichever demon was in control of the weather, they'd better turn off that nonsense right now!

Pitter, patter, pitter, patter, pitter, patter.

Rain coming crashing down in an instant, the royal grit his teeth, oh, someone was messing with him, were they? Who dares make it rain on a day like this? Disgusting, this should not be! Cuticles tapping with a harsh discord on the windowsill, he rose a fist upward. Why, he oughta! Strawberry bell soon rung, fast feet had come running like the lightning outside.

"Yes, Your Majesty?" Watermelon Jackal Angel asked. "What can I do to assist you?"

"You know he wants his apple oil!" Penguin Apple Elf cried.

"No, I don't think so, that wasn't the ring for apple oil," Watermelon Jackal Angel responded, shaking her head. "What seems to be the problem?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Make the rain stop this instant!| A written paper note demanded.

Members of his parliament looking at him with bewildered looks on their faces, the ruler curled his fingers. Did they not just read what he said? Does he have to write it again so it sinks in? Make the rain stop this instant! What part of that wasn't clear enough for them? He'll write it down a thousand times if he has to, mark his written words!

"We can't stop the rain, Your Majesty, no one can," Watermelon Jackal Angel said, shaking her head. "Not even you."

"Did you think there was some goddess or something controlling the weather?" Penguin Elf Apple asked, sighing. "My queen, that's an impling's tale. All of us are way too old to believing in fairy tales."

Lowly demons denying the existence of the weather goddess, the demon let out a scoff. Excuse him, how dare these two compare him to that of an impling! He may be in the under a millennium club, but he's not a middle aged demon, thank you! Too old to believing in fairy tales, they're just asking for a good old tail slap, weren't they?

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|How dare you call me too old to be believing in fairy tales! Repeat that, and I'll send you two to the Rhubarb Caves if you say that again!| The written note cried.

"I apologize Your Majesty, it won't happen again," Penguin Elf Apple said, bowing her head in apology. "But, even still, nobody can stop this storm. We're just going to have to wait it out. Maybe it'll stop by the afternoon." She sighed. "In any case, what apple oil do you want today?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|I won't be needing any of that today! Now, wait in the hall while I freshen up!| The written note said.

"As you wish, my queen," Watermelon Jackal Angel said stepping away. "Take your time."

Long spritzing drowning everything out, the royal let out a loud harumph as the steam ate him alive. Sure, there was no weather goddess up there. Whose side were these two on? Clicking his cuticles on the shower walls, he let out a whistle. He'll show them how wrong they are if the weather doesn't clear up in time for the competition! He'll take the Strawberry Ice Pathway to the sky and have a word with that foolish little pixie!

Bright pink lacy top with a low collar and floor length skirt with the green winged strawberry symbol printed all over it, the royal soon moved onwards towards the salon room. Cranberry Lynx devil gazing at the windowsill gazing at the rain with a sigh, the queen let out a loud ahem. How dare this right hand demon not pay attention to him? He ought to send her out to the farm and make her work with Panda Tomato Farmer for this!

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Cranberry Lynx Devil greeted and bowed. "Apologies, I was monitoring the rain. It's coming down pretty hard today. I'll be with you in just a moment."

Lowly right hand demon commenting on the weather, another loud harumph had released itself out into the open. Who asked her to do that, hmm? He sure didn't! He should have hired some lesser demons to monitor the weather instead and deal with it! Wasn't that what the weather channel was for? How annoying of her.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Who asked you to do that? I'll have a talk with the weather goddess and make her stop this rain! Stop wasting my time by staring at the window!| A written paper note exclaimed.

"Weather Goddess?" Cranberry Lynx Devil asked. "What are you talking about, my queen? That's just a little impling's tale."

Denial hitting a triple whammy, the royal grit his teeth. Excuse him, the weather goddess is totally real! How many times did he have to say that today? He ought to send everyone out to that cave as punishment for daring to say the opposite! Who do these demons think they are, huh? Did he have to prove it to them?

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You dare oppose me? Say that again, and I'll send you to the Rhubarb Caves to hunt for the Onions of Travesty!| A written paper note cried.

"My apologies, my queen," Cranberry Lynx Devil responded, bowing her head. "How do you want your hair today?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Put my hair up in bubble braids right now! Stop wasting my time and hop to it!| A written paper note demanded.

"On it. Would you like me to apply some hairspray to remove the frizz?" Cranberry Lynx Devil asked.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You'd better!| A written paper note exclaimed.

Hair soon pulled up into two bubble braids, his facial spots had been glowing like they always did. Thunder rumbling louder by the second, he folded his hand into a fist. How dare that weather goddess continue this nonsense. He ought to fight her in Kingdom Warfare if this keeps up! Who did she think she was messing with, hmm? Why he oughta.

Clicking the hairpins and earrings into place, the rumbles continued, stomping off towards the window, the ruler let out a little bark. Oh, this goddess thought she had him good, did she? She'll have him know that he's the ruler of this land! Did she intend act like she's the true ruler? How dare she! That's it, he's taking the Strawberry Ice Pathway!

"Your Majesty, what are you barking at?" Watermelon Jackal Angel asked, tilting her head. "Did Cranberry Lynx Devil do something not to your liking?"

"You know what he's growling at," Penguin Elf Apple said, sighing. "His so called weather goddess. Your Majesty, listen, I'm sure the rain will stop soon. The competition will continue as planned."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Who asked you?! Are you the weather channel?| A written paper note asked.

"I am not, Your Majesty, I apologize," Penguin Elf Apple responded, shaking her head. "But, maybe it will end sooner than you think." She then sighed. "Regardless, we don't have time for this, Your Majesty. Regardless of whether to competition goes on today, a diplomat from the former Watermelon Empire would like to speak with you."

Lowly peasant wishing to meet with him, the queen scoffed. More fallen kingdoms wished to seek an audience with him, did they? He already absorbed the Watermelon Empire into Strawberry Kingdom hundreds of years ago! What more could there be to discuss between them? They already bought all the melon sprites off from them to keep the beaches clean, what more could they want from him? Were they planning to secede? How dare they!

"Why are you looking at me like that, Your Majesty?" Penguin Elf Apple asked. "If you're thinking the Watermelon Empire plans to secede, I promise you that's not what they want to meet with you for, okay? Now, let's head to the dining room."

Stomping off towards the dining room, the queen turned his head off towards the opposite direction. Dumb watermelon empire thinking they can have an audience with him after all these centuries. Did they think their presence was still worthy? Harumph, they were worthless aside from Watermelon Jackal Angel and the melon sprites! The nerve of these scoundrels. Red Pepper Demon waiting for him at the dining room entrance, he threw such thoughts away.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," Red Pepper Demon. "I'd maybe reconsider holding that Red Tomato Surfing competition today. The rain is likely not letting up."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Who asked you? What do you know about the weather? I'll have a nice chat with the weather goddess in the clouds, and make her stop all this nonsense!| The written paper note cried.

"I beg your pardon, my queen?" Red Pepper Demon asked. "Is that the little impling's tale passed down from my fallen kingdom? I didn't know you believed that story still."

Miserable Red Pepper Demon denying the weather goddess was real as well, the queen stamped his left boot. How dare she also oppose him! These demons were just asking for it, weren't they? Every single one of them just wanted to be sent to the caves, didn't they? How foolish! Do they crave punishment from him so badly?

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You dare oppose me! I'll have you know that the weather goddess is real! Say anything to suggest the opposite again, and I'll have you clean the jails in Ackee Wasteland!| A Written paper note cried.

"Your Majesty, that's a little extreme, don't you think?" Red Pepper Demon asked. "I'm just being honest with you. Anyhoo, your food's about to get cold. I'd hurry."

Strutting towards his chair, the ruler grumbled. The weather goddess wasn't real this, the weather goddess wasn't real that. Blah, blah, blah. He'll show them, he'll show them all that every single one of these clowns is wrong! They dare continue to oppose him? He'll sock it to them before long! After he finished this soggy meal, he'll take them on a little trip!

Pitiful panda in the corner munching away, a wide toothed smirk appeared on the queen's face. This little demon, he'd be on his side, that's for sure! This sweet, naïve, youthful farmer. There's no way he'd tell him the weather goddess was a impling's tale! Yes, that, that'll do the trick! If he can convince him to tell the others there's really a goddess up there, it's game over for the deniers, haha!

"Hmm, Your Majesty, why are you looking at me like that?" Panda Tomato Farmer asked.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Panda Tomato Farmer, you're a young demon, right?| A paper note asked.

"Uh, I am, why do you ask, Your Majesty?" Panda Tomato Farmer asked. "Is this about the tomato juice surfing competition being held this afternoon?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You believe in the weather goddess, right?| A paper note asked.

"Huh? The weather goddess? Yeah, I've met her before, why? She descended upon the farm once and made it rain when there was a drought once back before Tomato Kingdom first fell." Panda Tomato Farmer's hand was on his chin as he said such.

Hearing such, the queen smirked. So, the weather goddess was real. Those stupid demons were wrong after all! Ha! Look at these lowly imps telling him that was a impling's tale! So, this pitiful little farmer he bought was pals with a goddess, huh? Perfect, perfect, wonderful. Maybe he can convince him to take the pathway to the sky with him to get this rain to stop!

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You're friends with her, right? Then come with me to the Strawberry Ice Pathway to stop this rainstorm!| A written paper note exclaimed. But, such had been met with a headshake.

"We don't need to go to all that trouble to call her," Panda Tomato Farmer replied, shaking his head. "I can just call her to the gardens. She always answers to my pleas."

Hearing such, the demon grinned from ear to ear. Ah, he sees, how useful. Munching his breakfast away into nothing, he ran towards the panda. This demon was proving to be far more useful than he once thought! What a worthful purchase! If he had gone and bought someone else, they would have been as useless as dried out manure!

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Hurry up and come with me to the garden right now!| The written paper note cried.

"Okay, Your Majesty," Panda Tomato Farmer said in a meek voice. "Should I call the others?"

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You'd better!| the written paper note screamed.

"Okay, Your Majesty, I'll do my best," Panda Tomato Farmer said, voice shaking. "Everyone, Your Majesty would like for you all to head to the garden!"

Everyone dashing off towards the gardens, the queen rubbed his hands together. Ah, yes, once and for all, these deniers would find out the truth once and for all! He'll show everyone that the weather goddess was really out there! They think they can continue to act like that's not the truth, did they? Ha! Wait until they see what's about to happen!

Soggy garden awaiting him, the queen grumbled. Curse this infernal rain, well, no matter! It'll soon be stopped any second now, one, two, here comes the savior of the hour, the Panda Tomato Farmer! He'll show these nonbelievers how wrong they are!

->

A few minutes later.

Pitiful nonbelievers flocking to the gardens a few minutes late, the demon gave the group a good long glare. Did these demons think they can just flock in whenever they wanted? Well, they were wrong! He ought to remind them who the ruler of this kingdom was! But ah, patience, Strawberry Shark Queen, patience, they'll soon learn their mistakes and bathe in them!

"Your Majesty, why did you have Panda Tomato Farmer call us here?" Watermelon Jackal Angel asked. "You know you have a meeting with the Watermelon Empire Diplomats soon. Please stop with all this nonsense."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|You're all about to witness a miracle! Watch and seethe, nonbelievers!| A written note cried.

"Your Majesty we really don't have time for this," Penguin Elf Apple sighed. "The diplomats will be here any minute now."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Who is the ruler of Strawberry Kingdom?| A written paper note asked.

"You are?" Penguin Elf Apple asked. "But that doesn't mean you can--." But, such had been interrupted.

"You know the queen, it's best to not defy him," Cranberry Lynx Devil said. "Whatever this is, it's best you just stand by and watch."

Boom, crash.

"Woah, that lightning was pretty close!" Red Pepper Demon cried. "Should we really be out here? I know we don't die easily, but!"

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Just be quiet and watch the show! Now, Panda Tomato Farmer, call her!| A written paper note hollered.

"Okay, I'll try my best, here goes nothing!" Panda Tomato Farmer cried. "Weather Goddess, please come, I need to have a talk with you!"

Poof!

Bright pink haired fairy winged creature with golden tomato earrings, the ruler watched as everyone's jaws dropped open. He could not help but giggle seeing such. The looks on these pathetic demon's faces! Never seen a goddess before had they? Ha, pathetic! What a pitiful bunch they could be sometimes!

"What?!" Watermelon Jackal Angel cried out.

"No way, you mean?" Penguin Elf Apple asked in confusion.

"The weather goddess," Cranberry Lynx Devil added tilting her head.

"Is real?!" Red Pepper Demon asked.

Panda Tomato Farmer bowing his head to this pink haired goddess, the royal almost wanted to spit on the ground. Bowing to a deity, was he? The only person he should be bowing to is him! But, he kept such thought buried. Now, now, it's best to not make this goddess angry, she could probably hear his thoughts right about now!

"Um, hi again! Could I ask a favor of you, Cherry Tomato Goddess?" Panda Tomato Farmer asked, bowing his head.

"Of course, darling, anything for you, but I ask for something in return!" Cherry Tomato Goddess demanded.

"You want my freshly grown ruby carrots, right?" Panda Tomato Farmer asked, hand on his chin. "Sure, you can have them. May I ask my question now?"


"You may," Cherry Tomato Goddess asked. "Ask away."

"Could I ask you to end this thunderstorm, please?" Panda Tomato Farmer asked. "We have an important competition this afternoon!"

"No problem, I can do that for you," Cherry Tomato Goddess responded, she then snapped her fingers. "There you go, gone. Will that be all?"

"That will be all!" Panda Tomato Farmer cried. "Thank you so much, we really appreciate it!" He bowed his head as he said such.

Bewildered looks on his parliament and Red Pepper Demon's faces, the queen let out a barely audible giggle. Look at these demons gasping! They weren't nonbelievers anymore now, were they? They ought to believe him the first time he said they were real! They should be sorry for ever doubting him on this! Head bows coming his way, his tail swished behind him.

"Your Majesty, we apologize for not believing you!" Penguin Elf Apple cried. "We ensure you that it won't happen again!"

"Now, can we please head to the palace?" Cranberry Lynx Devil asked. "We really don't have a minute to waste."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Fine, hurry up and head to the palace!| The written paper note cried.

Trmp, trmp, trmp, trmp.

Reaching the throne room, the queen sat crossed legged upon his royal seat. Pitiful watermelon angels bowing down to him, he held back a scoff. These diplomats hadn't changed at all in the past centuries, had they? Pitiful. No wonder Watermelon Empire fell all those years ago! They would never be worthy, that's for sure.

"Good morning, Your Majesty, we apologize for our sudden intrusion on such an auspicious day," the Watermelon Empire diplomat said in a nervous tone. "But, we recently discovered an empty land north of here rich in medicinal herbs and tea leaves. We would like to request your permission to expand the kingdom to claim these crops to add a pharmaceutical district to Strawberry Kingdom!"

New discovery brought to his attention, the queen let out a loud, hmm? These pitiful ex diplomats had found unclaimed territory, had they? Interesting, very interesting, indeed. He had heard in recent times some other kingdoms had been struggling to find good medicine. Maybe it would be best to scoop that opportunity away from those pathetic kingdoms.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'build and expand as you wish, but make sure no other kingdom dares to steal what's ours for themselves!' Cranberry Lynx Devil read aloud. She then turned towards the queen. "Your Majesty, is that last bit necessary? It's uncharted territory. And, none of our neighboring kingdoms are feuding with us."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|Who's the ruler of this kingdom? Me! I don't believe I asked for your backseat opinion, now did I?| The written paper note cried.

"My utmost apologies, Your Majesty, it won't happen again," Cranberry Lynx Devil asked. "How many acres is this land, might I ask?"


"If we had to guess, one hundred thousand acres," the Watermelon Empire Diplomat responded. "It's not very big, but it's got enough land to give us medicine crops for years to come!"

"I see, who would have thought that there was unoccupied land like that near our Kingdom," Watermelon Jackal Angel said, her tail wagged as she said such.

"What a shocking discovery," Penguin Elf Apple said. She then turned towards the queen. "Some Kingdoms have been having a medicine shortage, though. My queen, if they learn about our new medicinal crops, they might attack us. I advise you to be cautious."

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

|We're at the top of Satiation Kingdom! We won't lose to weak and pitiful demons!| The written paper note screamed.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

"The queen decrees, 'take the whole land for yourselves, but a brand new bastion and barrier is required!' Cranberry Lynx Devil read aloud. "Do you agree to these conditions set in place?"

"Of course, Your Majesty, thank you for accepting our proposal!" the Watermelon Empire Diplomat exclaimed. "We'll get started building your bastion and a small farmhouse right away!"

Pitiful angels flying away, the queen smirk. Ah, lovely, lovely, medicine crops north of the kingdom? Beautiful, and it was these lowly demons that discovered it! Yet another plot of land taken away from the weaker kingdoms! This is why Strawberry Kingdom was the number one kingdom in all of Satiation Kingdom! No one would ever come close to what he had built!

Long, boring tiresome morning meetings dragged through, the queen held back a yawn. Blah, blah, blah, the schools were running low on funds for the music program. Someone from the Blood Orange Society wanted to see him. How many nonsensical requests did he have to sit through every single day, unbelievable!

Ploop, ploop, ploop.

Afternoon bells chiming, the queen made a run for the raspberry carriage. Finally, this accursed morning was over. It was time for some business. Group of five behind him dressed in surfing gear, he placed his hand over his mouth as the cart automatically thrusted forward. The looks on their faces, they expected him to go easy on them just because he was the queen, did they? No way. They were about to meet the harshest critic of them all!

Reaching the Tomato Juice beaches, the queen sat crisscross upon his judging seat. At least ten other surfers adding themselves to the mix shortly after, he let out a quiet, hmm? Why were so many demons competing in this? He thought only a small handful of demons would be participating in this! Lowly watermelon angels, apple elves and pepper demons competing amongst his parliament he almost let out a haughty left. These demons hardly looked like they could catch a wave!

Pitiful tomato demons in the chairs next to him, the queen clicked his tongue. Look at what the ackee cats dragged in, a bunch of bias judges! He could see it now, they're going to award every single contestant from the newly built Tomato Kingdom a ten out of ten! Not on his watch, they won't! If they think they can award easy perfect scores, they'll have to answer to him!

"Welcome, one and all to the first ever Tomato Juice Surfing competition!" the announcer screamed. "Today, we have fifteen lovely contestants competing to perform the best tricks possible!" As they said such, they pointed at the first contestant. "Our first trickster for today is one of our lovely Prison Guards from the Ackee Wastelands!"

"Meow, I won't lose!" the Ackee Wastelands cat demon mewed. "I've been practicing since the day I was born!"

Stupid cat paddling like a dog demon across the red liquid, a pitiful show played out before him. Kitty barely able to do a flip or ride the wave at all, they had almost been washed out to sea. Oh, they've been practicing ever since they were born huh? Yeah, yeah, sure they were, sure they were. What a load of baloney. Doing one single flip turn, he yawned. Boring, that gets a two out of ten from him!

"Let's see what the judges think!" the announcer cried in a burst of excitement. "Two, four, and six. It would appear our little Ackee kitty is washed out! Can our next contestant do better?"

Watermelon angels one after another trying to out trick each other over the waves, the ruler rolled his eyes. These were supposed to be tricks? More like a bunch of failures! Try a little harder to impress him why don't they? Two after two, after two awarded in quick succession, ten contestants remained. Were any of these demons even trying? He didn't think so! Pathetic.

"Okay, next up the elfs from the former Apple Kingdom will be showing us what they've got!" the announcer cried. "The three of them will go one after another, better watch closely!"

Young elf implings slightly better than the rest of the crowd, the queen could feel a slight wave a promise. At least these penguin demons could flip backwards on their surfboards, unlike those pathetic Ackee kittens! Three elves finishing their turn, a six had been awarded to each of them.

"Woah, what's this? A six, nine, nine?!" the announcer cried. "This is the highest score yet! But, can our bell pepper and green pepper demons here do better?"

Lowly pepper demons stepping up to the waves, the queen scoffed. Ha, weren't pepper demons a fire aligned race? They stood no chance at this! Flaming tails behind them, he almost wanted to turn away. Any second now, and they'll be completely washed out! Why even compete in this kind of competition when they would probably fail immediately!

Watching as their flamed tails burned out, the dim brained demons dropped into the sea of red in seconds, Unable to do even one trick, the queen held up a large x shaped cardboard sign. Boo, boo, who let these people compete in a surfing competition? Had they forgotten what race they were a part of? Probably. But, he supposed he hardly blamed them, they had been a part of Strawberry Kingdom for so long now, after all.

"What a shame, it looks like our two pepper friends are disqualified!" the announcer cried. "But, what's this? Red Pepper Demon is going next! Will she, too be washed out?"

"Are you selling me out?!" Red Pepper Demon cried. "I don't have a fire tail!"

Watching as Red Pepper Demon had only been able to do one whole trick, the queen held up a four. Ah, how pitiful, the competition was so pathetic. Was this even a contest anymore? No one had gotten a ten! Everyone else may as well just go home at this point! It's not like anyone was going to score any higher than that!

"A four, five, and five, wooh, tough crowd we got here!" the announcer cried. "But, perhaps Penguin Elf Apple can steal the fame of her kin?"

"Watch and learn how it's done, Red Pepper Demon!" Penguin Elf Apple cried.

Watching in awe as Penguin Elf Apple did trick after flip, the queen's jaw practically dropped open. Where did this demon learn all those surfing tricks from? penguin demons were something else? But, no, this didn't deserve a ten, she slipped on her surfboard, he saw her! Seven, or bust, no higher! Demons next to him giving a seven and eight, he almost wanted to poke them. An eight? No, she slipped, that was undeserved!

Toot, toot, toot, toot.

Grr.

What?

Who dares attack their bastions now?

"Your Majesty!" Watermelon Jackal Angel cried. "Blueberry House and Sweet and Sour Kingdom have initiated an attack on our newest bastion! If we don't hurry, they'll definitely knock down all our towers!"

Stepping up from his judging seat, the queen let out a growl. Those zombie ghost morons, who do they think they are, attacking his newest bastion while he was judging surfing tricks? And, trying to destroy their towers before they were permitted to? Unbelievable! They're getting an immediate destruction penalty for going after their nonviolent bastion! Dashing off towards the battlegrounds, he rolled up his sleeves.

It's time to wipe these monsters out.

***

"These stupid, pathetic zombies from Sweet and Sour Kingdom! Who do they think they are attacking my towers in the nonviolent portions of my kingdom? I'll
Have a penalty over their head for this! In the newly rebuilt Tomato Kingdom, this is a nonviolent zone! This Bastion consists of skating around an
Especially large track with obstacles
Surrounding it! Ackees from the Ackee Wastelands specially planted here!
Everyone who completes one lap gets to destroy three towers a

Piece! These demons seem to not be
Acting alone, they're now getting my rivals involve!
That pitiful Blueberry House,
Honestly, I don't
Even know how they go back in contact with
Those zombies, last I heard they betrayed the Blueberry House!
I guess they called a truce and
Came crawling back to them, huh? That's a

Little pathetic!
I mean, they went and betrayed
Them, and now
They're on their side once again when they
Learn that we have been building more bastions?
Every other kingdom out there won't ever match to mine!

Don't try us, we haven't been beat yet! Not
Even once, and everyone has
Me to thank! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not super uber powerful,
Or anything, it took hundreds of hundreds of years to get where I am
Now! It's due to how much I keep expanding that we are
Simply untouchable!

This is something the other Kingdoms
Hardly ever do! We're always expanding our territory, and
It shows! The second top kingdom in Satiation Kingdom,
Now, that one is a wasteland because of this disgusting Sausage Syndicate demons! If they ever dare come here again, just
Know there will be blood on my hands!

They are not welcome to attack
Here ever again after what they did to the Palace of Pears!
Eh, what? I can't help but feel bad for them,
You know? That poor kingdom is

Crumbling away, and no one is doing
Anything to help get them back on their feet! They're too far away for me to do anything.
Now, don't look at me like that!

Just because I'm a brutal ruler, doesn't mean I'm cruel to everyone!
Uhuhu, listen, listen, I pity that Kingdom, and
Since they're not our rivals, I have no reason
To be hostile towards them. Listen, I'm

Allies to some of the kingdoms in the top
Ten, and maybe a few in
The bottom below the top ten, but
At bare minimum! The key to being at the top is
Collecting allies! And, I most certain have been
Keeping my allies close,

And my enemies closer.
Look, I know everything about those
Lousy Sweet and Sour Kingdom demons. They

Might be rebuilding their kingdom! And,
Yet, look at them now! They're a

Bunch of zombies who
Are still trying to get revenge on everyone around them!
Simply put, they're a pathetic bunch
That I wish to wipe out all over again!
It goes without saying that they'll be devoured by
Our bastion since ghosts have
No feet! So, how do they expect to
Skate on our track with us,

Hmmm? That sounds like an immediate, automatic loss to me,
Uhuhu, but that's a given, wouldn't you say? They
Hardly have

What it takes to beat me, anyway!
Especially since they won't even be able to skate!
Lalala, shouldn't have come to the newly built Tomato Kingdom bastion! They're
Literally asking for trouble.

Trouble that is
Hardly worth my time at all!
Everyone knows that once you become a ghost and are reborn as a zombie,
You're not the same demon you once were. You're just
Rotting flesh, except for that pitiful plant demon.
Everything about them was always slimy and

Gross, so nothing has changed about them!
Oh, well, it's time to take out the trash. It's
Not like they're going to be able to win
Now in the state they
Are in! They have no feet, no way to put on skates, like

Get outta here! They have picked the wrong bastion to attack,
Ehe. But, I know they brought in
Those pesky weaklings from the Blueberry House, and

I intend to crush those gangsters into
The ground. This bastion has ramps that tilt and twist! There's

No way they'll be able to win against me!
Oh, they stepped in the
Wrong bastion indeed."

Toot, toot, toot.

Large skate park laid out in front of everyone, the queen cracked his knuckles. Ghostly demons accompanied by some demon with prosthetics, the queen let out a giggle. This was the best they had to offer? Of all demons they had to send, they sent the Concord Grape Racer? And, how were they supposed to wear skates, huh? What a bad decision!

Kingdom Warfare Start

Objective: three teammates must successfully cross the end of the skate park at least once in order to destroy all towers. Demons unable to skate will automatically forfeit two towers a piece.

"Concord Grape Racer, you didn't tell us that this bastion was a skate park!" Zombie Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "The three of us don't have feet anymore, you know!"

"That's right, honestly, how dare you pick this bastion!" Zombie Sour Yogurt Dragon cried.

"Because of you, we have to automatically forfeit!" Zombie Spicy Curry Dragon cried. "How do you expect to make it up to us, huh?"


Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch.

Three participants are unable to skate upon the track, six towers have been forfeited.

"Look at what you just cost us! You'd better go around the track nine times to make up for this!" Zombie Sour Yogurt Dragon cried.

"I'll try, but," Concord Grape Racer said, gulping. "I don't think I have what it takes."

First skater, Concord Grape Racer.

Watching as the plastic footed demon slapped on the worst looking skates ever, the queen let out a giggle. Oh, this was classic, he couldn't wait to watch them lose it all! Barely making it up the first ramp, the royal clapped his hands together. Wonderful, wonderful, soon, the surprise monsters would come, and they wouldn't be able to continue.

Roar.

"You're kidding?! An Ackee Beast?!" Zombie Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "What are these stupid obstacles?"

"Ah, a poisonous monster," Concord Grape Racer sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

Intense toxins making a meal out of the pitiful demon, the queen continued to giggle as they had been knocked out clean. They'll see what they can do, huh? Knocked out clean is what'll happen! They dared to challenge him, did they? Look at this weak show of power! They were one thousand years too early to be challenging him!

Watching as his crew were all able to cross the finish line one after another, the queen clapped as the rest of the opposing towers had been eaten up and chewed up into nothing. Look who's crying now. These zombies had lost again. Tossing a little birdy their way as the final tower crunched up into nothing, a scream had soon been let loose at the top of their lungs.

"You win this time, but next time, we'll win!" Zombie Spicy Curry Dragon shrieked. "Mark my words, we'll get our revenge! Next time, you'll see, we'll wipe out all your towers before you can even blink!" Poof.

Starved.

Returning to his judging chair, the final three surfers had soon stepped up to the plate. Watermelon Jackal Angel, Panda Tomato Farmer and Cranberry Lynx Devil unable to do anything worthwhile, twos had been awarded to them each. Penguin Elf Apple taking the crown home with her, nighttime had soon creeped over the skies, in a flash.

Returning home, the queen took out his good old little gamer gal console. Little Strawberry creature collecting game blasting music in his eardrums, the ruler giggled at the stupid, cheesy friendship dialogue. Man, this game was so childish and dumb. Powering the system off as he dozed off, he cracked his knuckles as dreamland took him away.

These lowly pitiful demons still wanted revenge, did they?

He'll wipe them out good next time!

---

We're going back to Pizzaville next.