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[Pokémon] [SWC 2023] Lost & Found

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13
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A short story written over a few hours for GT.

Spoiler:

The characters in this story originally come from Hoenn: Square One, and I consider this story to be Loose Canon, meaning it's canon to Square One unless specifically contradicted at a later point in that story.
 
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Venia Silente

Inspectious. Good for napping.
1,229
Posts
15
Years
Okay, wishing to comment on this story and with the disclaimer that I haven't read Hoenn: Square One so far:

Grammar wise or flow wise I can't see any strong issues. The story is brief, concise, and as far as I know it says what it has to say. Ending feels a bit abrupt for my liking, but it'd be hypocritical to complain given the way i ended my own SWC this year :p

For the most part, I really felt the use of the prompt. Invoking as much personal interpretation as I can, the story seems to be not about being lost or about trying to be "found", but about the things (or people) lost to us leaving behind some sort of trace on our character, something that modifies our perception and can both create or fill gaps, something that leds us to see them in other people, in other places.

The example of the years lost, compared to something like "keys lost", evokes implications about a number of things that we call lost, but that by definition can't be lost; as if we were to be entitled to time, or to a pace of life, or to family in the first place.

The girl character is energetic and uses her place in the story well. I liked, but am mildly worried by, the implication that she's just starting to explore the world outside her town at the ripe old age of seventeen. In a Pokémon setting. And what it means that exploring the world at such an *old* age is in some families at least, looked at very uncharitably? Who knows what's going on there but hey at least this girl has gotten a reprive out of it.





, and I consider this story to be Loose Canon
Better that than a loose cannon, in the land (and sea!) of the Aqua pirates, m'arrr!!!
 

Aquacorde

⟡ dig down, dig down ⟡
12,498
Posts
19
Years
i like when we samebrain

more bill lore is always fun :) he's got a lot of history in him. i think your tenses did end up a little fuzzy in places but not enough to bother me. i appreciate the prompt being a quiet thread throughout the story and not overly hammered in. though maybe could have lingered on bill's lost family a little more? unless youre saving that hehe overall u gave that character-focused contemplative vibe that i tend to like & did it well :D
 
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