Teen Mom

[Bluerang1]

Somewhat glamourized by the media with the likes of Teen Mom, what do you think about Teen Pregnancy? This is girls between the age of 14 - 16, maybe older, hopefully not younger, getting pregnant? Girls still in school, some still kids themselves about to have one.

Have you personally encountered a Teenage Mother? Or Father? Do you look down or them or empathize with them? Is the media encouraging Teenage Motherhood? Is it up to the media to try and lower or stop it? Do these come about by accident or you young girls really want to have babies?

And finally, why is there less attention paced on the fathers? The ones who caused the pregnancy? Discuss.

Why, why has this not been a thread yet? Too controversial?

 

[Blade_of_darkness]

Why, why has this not been a thread yet? Too controversial?

It might be that nobody has that sort of thing come to their mind. Nevertheless, I think this will bring about some great discussion.

I've never personally known a teen mom, but I do look down upon those people, as of all the things that they could do, getting pregnant in your teens is one of, if not the, worst thing that one can do with their lives. My explanation would be that they haven't even had their future set in stone yet, & that they have no means of supporting their child effectively.

As for what the media discerns about this phenomenon, I would believe that it would discourage such a thing from happening, & it really should stay like that. It is these cases in which the media can make an impact on a teen's life that will influence their decision making for the better.

Now, I can't say for sure if that is brought about by an accident if they really want children that early, however, I'm leaning towards the bulk of them being accidents. That may partially be due to that some of them are so hungry for sex that they don't care about the consequences that it would bring. Now if this were to be an honest-to-goodness accident, I'd tell them to get an abortion if at all possible. Otherwise, the least they can do is put her child up for adoption. If the teen mom wants to keep that child, all I can say is, "god help you..."

 

[Bluerang1]

It might be that nobody has that sort of thing come to their mind. Nevertheless, I think this will bring about some great discussion.

I've never personally known a teen mom, but I do look down upon those people, as of all the things that they could do, getting pregnant in your teens is one of, if not the, worst thing that one can do with their lives. My explanation would be that they haven't even had their future set in stone yet, & that they have no means of supporting their child effectively.

As for what the media discerns about this phenomenon, I would believe that it would discourage such a thing from happening, & it really should stay like that. It is these cases in which the media can make an impact on a teen's life that will influence their decision making for the better.

Now, I can't say for sure if that is brought about by an accident if they really want children that early, however, I'm leaning towards the bulk of them being accidents. That may partially be due to that some of them are so hungry for sex that they don't care about the consequences that it would bring. Now if this were to be an honest-to-goodness accident, I'd tell them to get an abortion if at all possible. Otherwise, the least they can do is put her child up for adoption. If the teen mom wants to keep that child, all I can say is, "god help you..."

That was the other thing. Wouldn't abortion be advisable for the pregnant teens in the early stages?

 

[Tallula]

That was the other thing. Wouldn't abortion be advisable for the pregnant teens in the early stages?

I just want to point out, that this to many people/religeons is highly offensive. So to just assume "Oh teenage pregnancy, why don't you abort it?" Is very ignorant of the person asking the question, nor do i beleive most people asking this is viewing it from the womans perspective.

And again, the post above that, "Why don't you put it up for adoption..." this are very offensive questions, highly situational and again, insanely ignorant on your behalf. 14, 20 or 35, it's still their baby at the end of the day, if they don't want to give it up and i can see why the 1000s of teenage mums won't/don't, it's not your place to even think why don't they put it up for adoption or abort...

Personally I don't think the media has much of an impact on teenage pregnancy but raise awareness, i beleive the reason why the numbers are so drastically rising is because Sex is alot more common thing than it was say 40 years ago. Now its all over the TV, magazines and internet when before it was considered very private (most waiting till they were married), so overall I think it's the media and it's focus on Sex more than anything else.

Also, i'd suggest closing this topic, i can see most of the suggestions/views turning out to be quite offensive (Especially to a more mature audience - assuming their is more younger than older on this Pokemon forums).

 

[Dakotah]

My mother was a teen mom, so naturally, my opinion is a biased one. That being said, however, I think it is important for any one who is pregnant to have a very strong support network. My mother didn't, which is why I was given up for adoption. Thankfully, we've managed to reconnect.

People who look down on teen moms are forgetting one important thing, they're not the ones who are carrying the baby. Who gives a rat's behind what you think of the mother? You're not the ones carrying the child. You're not the ones who must now face this extra responsibility.

Instead of judging, maybe you should be sending teen mothers everywhere your best wishes, not just for the mother, but for the child growing within her womb.

People are too quick to judge others these days. Not many are willing to set aside their own beliefs for the sake of others. Comments like: "I look down on teen moms" shows just how self-important we think we are. It's disgustingly selfish.

 

[Kura]

Adoption and abortion or not, I also admittedly look down upon teen pregnancy for both parties (not just the mother) providing that the sexual act was not forced or the baby was not planned.
I just think that they're immature to know the risk of pregnancy and to still go forth with having intercourse. I don't understand how it's so hard for someone to simply remain chaste until they're ready to take that adult responsibility and ready to provide financially and emotionally for a child.

In the end, I really just have to conclude that it's GENERALLY stupidity, unwillingness to suppress urges, or thoughtless spontaneity that results in teen pregnancy.. so why would I look highly towards that?

However, I think it is admirable when the parents are willing to step up and take proper responsibility for the baby, and do what they can to raise the child in a healthy and thriving environment.

 

[Mr. X]

Unless it was rape, I always look down on teen pregnancies. Mainly because the majority of teen moms rely on someone else to care for their child.

Go ahead and flame me but I think that kids born to teen moms need to be put right into foster care. Once one of the parents gets a high school diploma/GED and can prove that they have the means to care for the child its really best for the child to be in foster care.

 

[Alice]

The only experience I've had with teen moms is walking by them in school. I recall once walking home from school, and there were three girls my age (between 15-17) talking to each other, all with babies in strollers, and all smoking. I really don't think people that age are responsible enough to care for a child.

 

[Rogue planet]

I look down on planned teen pregnancies.

I don't have any issues with unplanned teen pregnancies if they get an abortion or give the child up for adoption.

Unplanned teen pregnancies where they keep the baby is a much tougher judgement. On the one hand I think it's a bad idea to keep a baby you aren't ready for (and nobody is ready for a baby when they're in their teens, ever), on the other hand I can't force my beliefs onto others. Accidents happen even when contraception is involved, so not everyone who gets pregnant without planning it is is irresponsible or stupid; and not everybody is okay with abortion or adoption. I've witnessed people, strangers and friends, in this dilemna and the stress it gave them trying to decide what they should do. It's easy to say "they're not ready for a child, just get rid of it", but the parent is going to have to live with the burden of that decision for the rest of their life. Not everyone who gets pregnant in their teens is some non-chalant **** who couldn't care less, it can be really emotionally damaging.

Of course, a good number of teen parents do match the stereotype. But so do a helluva lot of adult parents.

 

[deoxys121]

Well, my mom was a teen mom. Through this, I have learned that one should not judge teen moms, because they can always straighten themselves up. My mom has straightened her life out. She made mistakes, but we all make mistakes. I always teach forgiveness and practice it myself. My mom had my brother at 15 and me at 18, and she was a single mom raising us. She has turned out just fine, just like anyone can. We are all capable of reforming ourselves when we make mistakes; teen moms are no exception. You must remember that teen moms are under a lot of stress already, and judging them and putting them down will do them no good.

 

[Yoshikko]

I kind of have mixed feelings. I feel bad for them but on the other hand I feel like it is their own fault. Virtually everyone in the world knows about the consequences and they did also, and most of the time they are in this situation because of themselves. I am not saying I necessarily look down on them, but that people should learn to take responsibility for their own actions, and know realize in advance what the consequences are.

 

[deoxys121]

[...] but that people should learn to take responsibility for their own actions [...]

Exactly this. And this is what my mom did: she stepped up and took responsibility for her children, myself and my brother, the responsible thing to do. Teen moms who don't take good care of their kids are one thing. Those who take responsibility and do the right thing by taking care of their kids, or giving them up for adoption if that's what's necessary, are the responsible and respectable ones.

 

[Saltare.]

Surprisingly there aren't that many pregnant teenagers around where I live...but most of the time, the girls have the money to get an abortion.

I feel like MTV is glamorizing teen pregnancy. Like, "oh, you're pregnant as a teenager? We'll give you a tv show!"

 

[Mr. X]

Exactly this. And this is what my mom did: she stepped up and took responsibility for her children, myself and my brother, the responsible thing to do. Teen moms who don't take good care of their kids are one thing. Those who take responsibility and do the right thing by taking care of their kids, or giving them up for adoption if that's what's necessary, are the responsible and respectable ones.

She had one at 15, was a single mom then. Three years later she had another one and was, still, a single mom. Once is a mistake/accident. Twice means your a idiot.

She might have taken responsibility for her actions but it doesn't change the fact that the actions were irresponsible.

 

[Dawn]

Well... let's be honest and say there isn't much to say about rape victims. (Besides trolling/sympathy)

So on to the part that warrants a discussion.

It's a bad decision to make for sure. However, on a scale of how bad a decision is, it's not very bad. The reason for this is that it's very personal, and not something that really hurts others. (INB4 "Better not alive than live like this" fallacy) That being said, it honestly isn't something that really effects my view of others on any noticeable level.

 

[Keiran]

I graduated with *many* teenage mothers and I still talk to about 5 of them, and the fathers too. I can tell you that all of them have become much more mature and responsible because of their kids. There are bad parents of all ages. I think it's unfair to judge someone on when they have a child, rather than HOW they raise it.

And for the show- I think it's disgusting and wrong just like most TV shows anymore. Making/spending money to document struggling people for entertainment, not just most teen mothers, instead of using it to help is sad.

 

[Esper]

Having a child when you're still, in many ways, a child yourself is going to severely limit your future choices. I think it's a bad idea to decide on something like this so soon because it takes a lot of responsibility. Having children is not a gift; it's a duty. You are already failing in your duty if you decide to have a child before you're ready. I don't mean emotionally ready although you should be. I mean financially ready. You'd be lucky to finish school while trying to raise a newborn. Without at least a high school diploma you're most likely not going to find a lot of great job opportunities. That's not an issue about money, but again that's still important. It's an issue of being able to make time to be a parent. Low-wage jobs aren't going to be as flexible in giving you time off or anything else because you're more replacable than a skilled/educated worker in a better job. I'm getting away from my point. Ahem. It's sad when it happens (as an accident or from rape) but also when it's planned. However, it isn't the end of the world unless you want it to be. It's a hard lesson in life, but some people rise to the challenge and come out fine. I just don't like to see someone thinking everything's going to be alright and ignoring the reality of how hard it's going to be.

This applies to all teenage parents, by the way, not just the ones with a uterus.

 

[Nihilego]

I don't really get the prejudice against teen mums. Sure, it sucks for them sometimes if it limits their future life, but it doesn't have any bearing at all on your life, so why do you judge them for it? Either they didn't want the baby, in which case that's a shame and they should be getting a lot of support for having it rather than prejudice, or they did want the baby, in which case why can't you let them do what they want to do with their own lives?

Anyway, that aside, I'm gonna repeat what Jay_37040 said and state that my mum was a teen when she started having kids so I'm maybe biased here. But, if the teen is a suitable mother and is willing to have the baby, I don't see why she shouldn't. Assuming she's over the legal age of consent, of course. I know a teen mum myself; she became pregnant by accident and had her son at the age of 16 and, although it's been a rough ride, she's doing brilliantly. She gives absolutely everything she's got to that kid and, even though his mum is young, I know he'll grow up in a loving home and that's all the kid needs.

And that's what the majority of all parents will provide. I don't really think it's age dependent; you're no more likely to be a loving parent as a teen or as a 30 year old. There are good parents and there are bad parents and I've never seen reason to believe that age is important. If anything, younger parents are at an advantage since they'll generally have family support.

As for the father part, they're not the ones that have to carry the baby. They don't have to grow it, give birth to it, and they probably won't be doing much of the nurturing until the mum and dad move in together (assuming they get to that stage).

Might as well as talk about TV shows while I'm at it. I guess some programs I've seen do bring teenage parenthood into public attention, but I've never seen it done in a good way. And most people still have common sense anyway. While idk if it's right that teen parenthood is being glamourised in a way, I don't think it really makes much difference overall.

 

[DreamQueen]

Actually, it has a huge bearing on everyone else's life.

Teen parents often cannot get jobs, because they're still in school. So they go on welfare. Welfare should be restricted to those who NEED it, like disability and financial troubles through something like being suddenly made a widow, not for irresponsible teenage idiots.

The more welfare the government has to pay out to 16 year old girls having kids they can't afford to have in the first place, the less money the government has to spend on things that actually matter, like more hospitals, schools, a better medical system, a better justice system, etc.
Money that could be going to making a better life for everyone is going to a teenage couple that had a baby that should never have been conceived.

So yes, it does affect everyone else and yes, because of that it is a concern for other people.

Of course I look down on them. They're incredibly irresponsible, stupid and selfish.

 

[Dakotah]

Actually, it has a huge bearing on everyone else's life.

Teen parents often cannot get jobs, because they're still in school. So they go on welfare. Welfare should be restricted to those who NEED it, like disability and financial troubles through something like being suddenly made a widow, not for irresponsible teenage idiots.

The more welfare the government has to pay out to 16 year old girls having kids they can't afford to have in the first place, the less money the government has to spend on things that actually matter, like more hospitals, schools, a better medical system, a better justice system, etc.
Money that could be going to making a better life for everyone is going to a teenage couple that had a baby that should never have been conceived.

So yes, it does affect everyone else and yes, because of that it is a concern for other people.

Of course I look down on them. They're incredibly irresponsible, stupid and selfish.

Way to paint a wide brush there. I find it very troubling that people look down on all teen mothers without even knowing the people they judge. It's no different than those who judge black people because of the colour of their skin. It's no different than those who judge Jewish people because of their faith. And it's no different than those who judge gays and lesbians because of who they love. Unless we truly know the people we are discussing, who are we to judge them at all? Who gives any of us the right to tell another person how they should live their lives?

I was raised better than that. It's a shame too many people weren't.