Righto.
Frog - because I'm a lazy bastard and drifting ecstatically in a lagoon sounds wonderful.
Fall down a well - ...provided that I would be found and rescued. Horse kicks are devastating.
Lips - because I could wear a mouth piece, like Plo Koon's respirator, and all that would be revealed are my eyes. People would think I was hot. But massive eyes are attractive to no one and they'd let in far too much light.
Christmas - but I am not certain and it's a fucking self-centred choice. One is about the people you love, and the other is solely about you and how many presents you acquire. So I'm not sure.
Loved and lost - I'm an artiste, not a pansy. Bring on the lovers!
Puppies - who didn't see this coming?
Sea - Dying of dehydration is considerably more painful than drowning. But if you had no chance of dying with either, then the desert. It's much more Star Wars-esque.
Harry Potter...? No! Pokémon! Oh Christ, I don't know.
Three wishes - then I can set aside a wish for myself, as opposed to selflessly feather other peoples nests.
A little late - It pisses people off but waiting rooms and the like are of Satan's design.
Wonderland - if I took a truth pill, people would discover the unspeakable. But I haven't watched the films yet, so I'm not sure what wonderland does.
Snail - they are less sentient, so it's a less cruel choice. And there's less of it to eat, also.
Save puppies and kittens - because monarchs have very little power nowadays.
Paper - because a meal of plastic could kill you, people. With paper, it'd just be an unpleasant experience where no nutrients are derived.
Never use my phone - because I don't fucking have one.
EDIT:
Just saw Kai's and I wish I'd thought of that cheating-not-cheating thing. Sigh.
