The Big Red Button

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After shouting in a tongue long lost by men, I was arrested and placed in an insane asylum for the safety of myself and the general public. As I shouted some more, the people restraining me flew back. I think I may be dovakhiin, will check later.

FUS RO PRESS RED BUTTON DAH!
 
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The police discover Hikari is innocent and arrest you instead for being mean to a cute Oshawott.

*Pushes the red button that commands Oshawott to use Razor Shell*
 
The button was actually red. The button you pressed was part of a colorblindness test. You passed. Or did you fail? I'm not really sure which, guess it depends on your perspective. Point is, you're colorblind.

*fist slam red button*
 
The button suddenly turns green.

*Presses the red button that will reveal who's the one that writes names on the Death Note*
 
Now let's find out who the person writing names on the Death Note really is.

*removes mask*

"Mr. Jenkins! But why?"

Mr. Jenkins: "I wanted to scare these darn tourists away from the secret gold mine. And I would've gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling forumgoers and the stupid red button!"

*presses stupid red button*
 
A notice comes out saying "Hikari is watching - don't stare at her".

*Pushes that red button that gives me a free copy of Pokemon Black 2 & White 2*
 
A copy of both games fall from the sky. Of course, since the game hasn't actually been put on cartridges yet, you now have two nicely decorated cases, and two blank cartridges, no manual or other documents within the cases to be found.

*flips red switch*
 
As I shout, you become deaf, since shout could mean I useda roar attack.

*Push a red button and Egg Rolls fall from the sky*
 
*Only to your horror you find she is a man-eating alien from another plane and devours you whole*

*Push the red button and Lucario figureens are mailed to pokemon fans everwhere....*
 
People start thinking you leaked over 250,000 US Embassy Cables explaining why He Who Must Not Be Named was chosen as the focus of "HikariDerp". (Can't mention his name or I'll rage)

*Pushes red button that involves Psycho shower scene*
 
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