Alter Ego
that evil mod from hell
- 5,750
- Posts
- 19
- Years
- Age 37
- Touhou land, grazing danmaku all the way
- Seen Aug 8, 2010
Oh, you silly peoples...it's not the size of the plot that counts; it's what you write in it. Now how about you say something about that instead? =O Anyways, I realize that this is largely moot since the RP has already been posted, but:
Umm...dude, the word 'humanoid' means 'something that resembles a human'. Humans (unless horribly disfigured) are always humanoid in shape because their shape is the definition of the word. This is a divine decision so I really don't see why you bothered to justify the naming in the first place. Just say they were called 'humanus' and leave it at that. =O
There are also lots of grammatical irregularities here, but what bugs me is mostly that there seems to be a distinct leaning towards quantity over quality here. If we're going to be all organized about this with set amounts of money, items and whatnot I find it odd that you have been very vague about both the skills and the magic system. So we use these 'arguments'...umm...how exactly do we go about using them? What do they look like? What do they do? What kind of spells do you get out of how many arguments? The same lack of info plagues the races (I mean, we have a very brief summary of their general abilities, but what about lifespans, maturing rates and general attitudes towards them? Whereabouts are they found and how common are they? What kind of societies do these races form? These are important factors in giving the character a credible history.) I'd also like to see the skills graced with more than one line of description. What, for instance, is the difference between the chemist and herblore skills? Both just say 'this person makes potions'. =O Now original worlds are all well and good (I like original worlds, honest.) but you shouldn't overcomplicate matters. You also have a 'god worshiped' field on the sign-up but you have given absolutely zero description on what these gods are like and what they demand of their followers; that's going to make it difficult to make the right choice for a character (I mean, what if I accidentally made my uber-pacifist goody two-shoesy, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly character worship a deity who demands his followers to sacrifice their first-born child by strangling it with the intestines of a still-living goat at new moon? That...wouldn't go over too well.).
Personally, I think this whole thing would be a lot better with half the number of things in each category properly explained. Again, it's not the numbers that count; it's the quality of the goods. :3
@Shiney:Well, it would help if you didn't base all your plots on animes I haven't watched... AAANYWAY, there's not really much I can say about that since that plot seems to assume that I know how this whole spirit world thingiemajigger works (which I don't). You've got a very basic aim for the plot laid down, but what I'd like to see is a clear starting setting. So we're somewhere in a lightly futuristic human world hunting demons who are somewhere else? I think you need to be a bit more specific than that. Also, if these demons possess some unknown means of transportation (and goodness knows what other exceptional powers they have), why is a bunch of rookies sent to deal with it? You'd think that they'd be stuck with handling interdimensional loitering or something while the experienced people deal with the important stuff. o.O So, uh...a bit of clarification, please?
humanus. These creatures were called this for there humanoid shape, ( These are basically humans)
Umm...dude, the word 'humanoid' means 'something that resembles a human'. Humans (unless horribly disfigured) are always humanoid in shape because their shape is the definition of the word. This is a divine decision so I really don't see why you bothered to justify the naming in the first place. Just say they were called 'humanus' and leave it at that. =O
There are also lots of grammatical irregularities here, but what bugs me is mostly that there seems to be a distinct leaning towards quantity over quality here. If we're going to be all organized about this with set amounts of money, items and whatnot I find it odd that you have been very vague about both the skills and the magic system. So we use these 'arguments'...umm...how exactly do we go about using them? What do they look like? What do they do? What kind of spells do you get out of how many arguments? The same lack of info plagues the races (I mean, we have a very brief summary of their general abilities, but what about lifespans, maturing rates and general attitudes towards them? Whereabouts are they found and how common are they? What kind of societies do these races form? These are important factors in giving the character a credible history.) I'd also like to see the skills graced with more than one line of description. What, for instance, is the difference between the chemist and herblore skills? Both just say 'this person makes potions'. =O Now original worlds are all well and good (I like original worlds, honest.) but you shouldn't overcomplicate matters. You also have a 'god worshiped' field on the sign-up but you have given absolutely zero description on what these gods are like and what they demand of their followers; that's going to make it difficult to make the right choice for a character (I mean, what if I accidentally made my uber-pacifist goody two-shoesy, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly character worship a deity who demands his followers to sacrifice their first-born child by strangling it with the intestines of a still-living goat at new moon? That...wouldn't go over too well.).
Personally, I think this whole thing would be a lot better with half the number of things in each category properly explained. Again, it's not the numbers that count; it's the quality of the goods. :3
@Shiney: