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The "Infinite" "Wisdom" of Shanghai Alice

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Maraala

Maraala

a fiery passion
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    O elicA iahgnahS, why did i just do that? and Why aren't Pokemon real? I mean it would be a great way for Nintendo to rip us off provide endless entertainment to children of all ages (while still making money)...
     
    Stellar

    Stellar

    Minior used Cosmic Power!
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    O Shanghai Alice, the wise and powerful~ I present thee with a riddle:

    A bus left the Scarlet Devil Mansion; three people boarded at the start. At Hakugyokurou, one left and half a person boarded. At Yakumo-san's house, two people left; so how many passengers remain?
     
    Last edited:

    Shanghai Alice

    Exiled to Siberia
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    Sammyskitty said:
    O elicA iahgnahS, why did i just do that? and Why aren't Pokemon real? I mean it would be a great way for Nintendo to rip us off provide endless entertainment to children of all ages (while still making money)...
    Click to expand...
    Because they secretly have ALL THE POKEMANZ. AND WILL USE THEM FOR WORLD DOMINATION.

    For more information, ask my Shrine Janitor.

    Inkpuddle said:
    O Shanghai Alice, the wise and powerful~ I present thee with a riddle:

    A bus left the Scarlet Devil Mansion; three people boarded at the start. At Hakugyokurou, one left and half a person boarded. At Yakumo-san's house, two people left; so how many passengers remain?
    Click to expand...
    The same number as the amount of compensation Reimu is entitled to after her expensive vase was broken.

    And, just so you know, I actually sang out that part in my head while I read it, in her exact voice. :D
     

    Shanghai Alice

    Exiled to Siberia
    • 1,069
    Posts
    14
    Years
    Sammyskitty said:
    Oh, Wise Sage, I have 2 questions....
    1)Why does your avi look so amazing?
    2) Why can't I have a Glaceon?
    Click to expand...
    1. BECAUSE I MADE IT ALL BY MYSELF WITH NOBODY ELSE.

    AZURE, ARREST AND EXECUTE JIGGLYPUFF TO KEEP HIM SILENT.

    2. Because I have a herd of Glaceon. All to myself. And I kick one every day.
     
    Maraala

    Maraala

    a fiery passion
    • 1,043
    Posts
    14
    Years
    O person-who-I-can't-come-up-with-another-name-to-call, why is there always more ketchup in a ketchup bottle than mustard in a mustard bottle, like the same thing as a pack of hotdogs having more hotdogs than the number of hotdog buns in a pack of hotdog buns? *exhales* i really need to know
     

    Shanghai Alice

    Exiled to Siberia
    • 1,069
    Posts
    14
    Years
    Sammyskitty said:
    O person-who-I-can't-come-up-with-another-name-to-call, why is there always more ketchup in a ketchup bottle than mustard in a mustard bottle, like the same thing as a pack of hotdogs having more hotdogs than the number of hotdog buns in a pack of hotdog buns? *exhales* i really need to know
    Click to expand...
    Because the great Gods of Capitalism have ordered it.

    ASCEND THE YOUKAI MOUNTAIN AND BATHE IN THEIR BLOOD.

    jigglyppuff8 said:
    Why has nobody made an English Patch for the official Japanese Touhoumon patch? Will I have to do it myself?
    Click to expand...
    Because few Touhou fans have the stones to play Japanese Lunatic Mode, and are too scared to even translate it.
     

    Shanghai Alice

    Exiled to Siberia
    • 1,069
    Posts
    14
    Years
    Snow Phoenix said:
    Oh wise sage... do you play easy mode?
    Click to expand...
    REPEATED QUESTION. EXECUTE HIM.
    ((Yes, I do. And normal.))
    Why is it that I can beat 6, 7, 9, and 10, but never 8?
    Click to expand...
    But send the following notice to his next of kin:

    "Dear Next of Kin,
    Your dead relative inquired about his skills on the eighth game of Touhou, and why they were nonexistent.

    The answer is simple:

    He has stared into Reisen's eyes too long, because not being able to beat IN, while being able to beat everything else is MADNESS.

    Sorry for executing your relative,
    Shanghai Alice.

    PS: Cookie enclosed to make up for it."
     

    Shanghai Alice

    Exiled to Siberia
    • 1,069
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    Years
    whodathunk said:
    Where did i put my other pair of pants?

    Also, is licking doorknobs REALLY illegal on other planets?
    Click to expand...
    Oh, for the love of-

    Your other pants are in the drawer below your socks. We've been through this.


    And yes, it actually is. My relatives were executed for doorknob licking on some far off planet. That yellow thing is correct on this one.
     

    Åzurε

    Shi-shi-shi-shaw!
    • 2,276
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    15
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    • Seen Jun 2, 2013
    yourheartinmyhands said:
    are you a guy or a girl and can i meet ur master
    Click to expand...

    The Great Shanghai has transcended such lowly divisions and separations of humanity. Male and female are irrelevant to... uh...

    Okay, I'm going to use a masculine pronoun here, but don't read anything into it. English doesn't have any gender-neutral pronouns besides "it", and that implies an inanimate object. So uh, lessee here... transcended lowly divisions... male and...

    Ah.
    Male and female are irrelevant to him*. I've never bothered to check how far that goes, if you catch my meaning...

    Think of him like you would somebody on the internet. I know it has absolutely nothing to do with the shrine, or the hike up here. Or the bunny-girl guards... Well, maybe it is a little like the internet. But really really try, okay? Shanghai's current appearance is simply an avatar.

    Also, the Great Shanghai has no master. Probably.
     

    Shanghai Alice

    Exiled to Siberia
    • 1,069
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    "Male or female, what's the difference?

    Power is beautiful, and I've got all the power!"

    ((But seriously...

    I have it marked. And I've even stated which.

    It's not that hard...))

    Wait, I ordered bunny GIRL guards?

    No, I meant actual female bunnies!

    Dangit. Have the guards executed fired ((Violence against women is a no-no, kids!)), and replace them with a mixture of nekomata and Lunarian bunnies.


    And it's Shanghai, not Alice.
     
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