The following has been approved by a MOD! :
Now for another episode of JERRY SPRINGER!
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry: Hello everybody and welcome to our special presentation for tonight...Jerry Springer's "Special" Stories...
Crowd hollers.
Jerry: That's right, tonight we are going to find out all kinds of utterly, utterly, terrifying information about our guests.
The crowd screams.
Jerry: So now, let's introduce...Kaydee! Everybody please put your hands together!
Kaydee walks out onto the stage dressed up like a army commander.
Kaydee: Hi Jerry!
Jerry: Hey there Kaydee, why don't you tell everyone here what you have to say...
Kaydee: Well Jerry...I kind of have a special fetish...
The crowd LOVES it.
Jerry: Oh I see...and you're here to tell Trace about it, right? In the hopes that your fantasies can be realized?
Kaydee: That's right Jerry.
Again the crowd screams.
Jerry: Okay, okay then, well why don't we bring Trace in then and see what they have to say.
Trace appears and walks across the stage, embracing Kaydee.
Jerry: Okay, now Trace, you are probably wondering why you're here...
Trace: Yes Jerry...
Jerry: Well Kaydee why don't you tell them why they're here...
Kaydee: Well sweety...I have brought you here to tell you that...
Trace: You're... seeing someone else, aren't you?
Kaydee: No! No, that's not it...it's just that I have, well, a sort of fetish...a fetish for cheese...
Trace: Omigod!
Trace puts their hand over their mouth. The crowd goes crazy.
Kaydee: I was wondering if...you could...help me with it. I dressed up in this army uniform for you and everything...
Trace: Well yeah...yeah I guess...
Kaydee: Really?
Trace: But on one condition...
Kaydee: Anything!
Trace: I want you to eat jello off my arm...
The crowd goes INSANE.
Jerry: Okay, okay, but now I have to interrupt. Because there's actually something else that somebody needs to tell you, Trace.
Crowd silences, from the shadows emerges Mario, sitting down next to Trace.
Mario: Thanks Jerry...okay here's the thing...you know how important your friendship is to me Trace...but, hell, I want MORE...
Trace: What are you saying?
Mario: I want to be with you...
Kaydee stands up rapidly from their seat. The crowd squeals with delight.
Kaydee: Now wait just a minute!
Trace: I...I don't know what to say...I...
Kaydee: You say no! No is what you say!
Jerry: Okay, everyone please let's just calm down for a second, please, because it just turns out that I now have a suprise for all three of you...
Jerry points to the side entrance onto the stage and Momo appears with a big grin on their face. Kaydee leaps out of their chair and lunges towards them, swinging wild punches...
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
The security guard pulls them apart and sits them on opposite sides of Trace.
Kaydee: You piece of dung, you've always been jealous of me and Trace, why don't you just face the fact that we're together? Huh?
Momo: Oh yeah you have a great relationship don't you? When was the last time you...really loved eachother? Huh? And I mean really!
Trace: Only 2 hours ago actually.
The crowd explodes excitedly.
Momo's face contorts and they leap out of their chair towards Kaydee. Kaydee stands and scoops up their chair, swinging it at Momo in wild arcs. The security guards step in and drag them apart.
Jerry: Wait a second, wait a second, I've missed something here. Why are the two of you so angry at each other? Momo help me out here.
Momo: Well Jerry it's a long story...but basically I asked these two if they wanted to be with me...together...
Jerry: Who? Trace and Kaydee?
Momo: That's right Jerry, I think about them both all the time...
Trace: Omigod! You're sick, do you know that? I don't even want to see you again! I'm in love with Kaydee and that's how it's gonna' stay!
The crowd whoops and bellows in excitement. The camera moves out into the crowd and Jerry holds the microphone out to a young woman.
Young Woman: Yeah, I have something to say to you down there!...I think you should consider yourself more lucky! Oh and Momo I've got something for you baby..!
The woman shows her stomach for not only Momo but the whole world to see. The crowd explodes in excitement. Jerry steps away and looks sternly into the camera.
Jerry: Well as much as I wish that this could go on forever, i have to draw it to a close...and so i say this - what have morals stooped to in society today if we are even here talking about cheese and people getting their leg's licked? People harbouring secret obsessions for best friends. Throughout this all we've forgotten that two of the people down there are quite possibly in love and these peoples friends should respect that rather than just seeking fulfillment of their own desires. Thankyou...and goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
