5990
four statements in one post :O
not saying that i can't do that XDD
loool, downloading music is distracting me from doing what I'm supposed to be doing :[
... I realise my problem. I'm trying not to cry about Chirpy because I want a month without crying... I wanted a perfect month....
And now whatever I do feels strange as if everything isn't right anymore. D:
... y'know, I probably SHOULD just cry but... ugh, this is hard...
And listening to a lot of this music just feels... ugh. I need... to listen to January songs, since uh, Aug/Sep ain't gonna help me. XD;
Ooh, July helps too.
Yeah if my mind has an issue, thinking about another solves it :D! or at least temporarily..
I shouldn't listen to drama songs either, it makes me think things I shouldn't - like positive, but yeah..
Yes, I need my determination songs, it'll totally make me get this assignment done..
k, this is affecting me because I hold onto the past. Way to feel better? Forget 2009. Including september.. even if september was a generally happy month.
2008, don't need to forget, I'm over that past. But 2009, nah, not over it yet. If I get over 2009, I can accept Chirpy being gone.. it's weird but it makes sense to me. 2009 was a waste of a year and I need to accept that for the many reasons, etc, etc... I just need to literally forget everything this year. Everything except... school, except my goals, except where I want my future to be. I need to stay determined in order to... just get there. Before Chirpy died, I kinda said.. away from him, if he dies I'll try my hardest to get into uni for him. XD; So um... yeahh, it's kinda like a Neighbours sort of thing to do but... yeah, now I have another reason to not give up and not b e distracted - I really need to... still, there's less than two months before all the exams are over... and I've lasted over a week without MSN. Funny thing is, it's gone by so damn quick I didn't even notice.
So really... get over 2009, and.. yeah,
and I also need to tell myself that even if some things were good in 2009, overall it made me unhappy. So I really need to forget it... it's harder because it's happening now... but still, this year so many things have happened. I've only changed as a person a few months ago, up until then. I get it, I get it all. I hate 2009 because of myself. In order to like myself and stuff.. I need to.. forget.
Okay, no more telling myself to forget. Assignment time :[