The Post Your Problems Thread

[Roy G. Biv]

I'm kidding, it's not pain exactly. I just severley overexaggerated XD

It's not that bad of a feeling actually, I'll take your guys' advice and stay friends :)

Okay, you guys want to hear the end of the story? It ended today!

About an hour ago she told me she liked me. But, as it turns out I learned that I didn't like her as much as I thought I did. I guess waiting on somebody can do that to you. Now she feels like a dumbass and it's all my fault! Happy ending, huh?

 

[.Seth]

I hate to post here yet again, but...

Somethings up with my dreams. (XD, I just realized that had to do with sleep.)
Anyways, I haven't had a dream in FOREVER. Is this normal?

Ok, the real problem:

I keep having this (I don't know) series of dreams. It's been so long since I had them. But what they are about just freaks me out. (I think) What I see is it's just dark. And then, Something jumps out of the darkness! On the first of these dreams, I wake up then and there.

Second Dream:

Dark.
Something jumps out.

Then, I can kinda see the shape of it. It looks kinda like a cloud, some type of gas maybe?
Wake up.

Third Dream:

Dark.
Cloud-thingy jumps out.

I can see the actual thing now. It's a person. All I see is the shape. I can't tell if its a boy or girl.

Fourth Dream:
...
...

I can tell who it is now. It looks like one of my friends from last year (school) which is a girl. Then something happens to her. I don't know what but it still scares me.

This could be due to the fact that I've been thinking about her ( a lot *rolls eyes*) recently. I've missed her a lot over the summer. Could it be that my mind is trying to tell me something?

I guess I just need time to think. *sigh*

 

[Mr. Curling Iron]

@Seth... Maybe you could try talking to her? Meeting up with her? Give it a shot... and if not anything else, maybe It'll stop those dreams :D

 

[Gymnotide]

@Seth: Maybe you gained psychic powers to look into the future.
Of course, dreams aren't real.

It's nothing to worry about unless you wake up gasping for air and sweating.

 

[.Seth]

@iMiraj: I don't know how, but if I happen to see her somewhere, ok.

@Gymnotide: I do wake up sweating when I have that dream. (sometimes)

 

[Razer302]

I think that this could be because you may like her but don't realise it yet. If you talk to her I wouldn't mention the dream involves her as it may freak her out. Just say you have had a weird dream and talk about it without mentioning that she is in it.

 

[Buoysel]

My mother and I are polar opposites. We simply can not get along. Because of this I try to avoid her. But that does not always work. She tried to start an argument toady at Denny's when we were eating lunch. I used what she said against her and won (which almost never happens). Neither one of us rose our voices, no one else know we were bickering. During the short argument she mentioned that I move out. She also asked if I was going to go back to college next semester. I got the idea that I could move to Kansas with my x-step dad and go to college there. We have keep in contact and we still talk weekly on the phone. I know with out a doubt that he would let me move in. what I am worried about is my car, a 90 Honda accord. It has some pieces of rubber I call tires, and 234,000 miles on it. I wouldn't have enough money to move until I got paid this Friday, I would have more than enough money to buy a new set of tires and have money to get there and live off of for a couple of days, until I found a new job. The other hand is the high millage of the car, I am pretty sure that the car would make it there with no problem, the engine runs really good and does not smoke at all. I have a cd player in the car so I would have entertainment on the 800 mile drive. If I leave I am leaving behind my aunt uncle and a good job (not to mention my mother). I really like my job, and my aunt and uncle have been very supportive of me. I really want to move, but am afraid that it is a mistake. I don't see any really good reason to stay. So now I am at across roads in life. On one side, I can stay here and continue to work for the Roswell Daily Record. On the other I can move and find a new job. In Kansas I will have a home, in a small town that is 20 miles form 70 k population town to the west. 20miles to the east is a 50k population town. And another 20 miles on the other side of it is a 120k population town, so I know I could find a job. Like I said, I really want to move, manly to get away from my mom. I almost moved four months ago, but was talked out of it. I just don't want to make a mistake that will ruin my life. What do you think, should I move?

 

[Motsuko Live]

My mother and I are polar opposites. We simply can not get along. Because of this I try to avoid her. But that does not always work. She tried to start an argument toady at Denny's when we were eating lunch. I used what she said against her and won (which almost never happens). Neither one of us rose our voices, no one else know we were bickering. During the short argument she mentioned that I move out. She also asked if I was going to go back to college next semester. I got the idea that I could move to Kansas with my x-step dad and go to college there. We have keep in contact and we still talk weekly on the phone. I know with out a doubt that he would let me move in. what I am worried about is my car, a 90 Honda accord. It has some pieces of rubber I call tires, and 234,000 miles on it. I wouldn't have enough money to move until I got paid this Friday, I would have more than enough money to buy a new set of tires and have money to get there and live off of for a couple of days, until I found a new job. The other hand is the high millage of the car, I am pretty sure that the car would make it there with no problem, the engine runs really good and does not smoke at all. I have a cd player in the car so I would have entertainment on the 800 mile drive. If I leave I am leaving behind my aunt uncle and a good job (not to mention my mother). I really like my job, and my aunt and uncle have been very supportive of me. I really want to move, but am afraid that it is a mistake. I don't see any really good reason to stay. So now I am at across roads in life. On one side, I can stay here and continue to work for the Roswell Daily Record. On the other I can move and find a new job. In Kansas I will have a home, in a small town that is 20 miles form 70 k population town to the west. 20miles to the east is a 50k population town. And another 20 miles on the other side of it is a 120k population town, so I know I could find a job. Like I said, I really want to move, manly to get away from my mom. I almost moved four months ago, but was talked out of it. I just don't want to make a mistake that will ruin my life. What do you think, should I move?

Sounds like a tough decision you're being faced with. But what you need to understand is that just because you move, it doesn't mean you have to "leave behind" your family. Your ex-step father lives 800 miles away, yet you still keep in contact with him. So why can't you keep in contact with the rest of your family if you move?

As for your job, that's really up to you. Maybe you should ask your step-father what type of companies are around. But it shouldn't really matter that much. I mean, tons of people move and are able to find just as good if not better jobs than they had previously.

Now, all this being said, I definitely would not move. I would never let my mother be the cause of me moving 800 miles away from where I was raised. Parents and their children are going to have arguments. It's part of life; live with it. I don't mean to sound harsh, but seriously; suck it up. I don't care how long, how loud, or how severe fights you have with your mom. You need to either talk to her and work something out for good, or deal with it. You can't run away every time you're dealt a crappy hand.

ANYWAY, it's ultimately up to you;
You can either let your mother drive you out of the place you've lived for 17 years (I presume), or stand your ground, work something out, and go on with life. I think you know what I would do.

Oh, and take it from someone who has plenty of experience;
Leaving a parent isn't as easy as it sounds. You do love your mom, correct? Well, you'll find out that you love her alot more than you think if you leave her.

Hope I helped you out, and sorry if I came off a little hard at certain points.

 

[Memory]

Okay this may take a little long to explain but here goes.

It's about my dad - it's turned into a 50/50 deal between us. Half the time I'm on his good side, we go take pictures of the mountains and walk around and have intelligent conversation... and the other half he treats me just like my brother.

My brother's a straight-F student. Literally. My dad yells at him, cusses him out (sometimes) and once dumped him on the side of the street for his attitude. (My brother DOES have quite the attitude; I can see both sides.)

My dad has sooo many problems going on; stage 4 of 5 kidney disease, diabetes, financial situations, he hates his job and his boss, my brother, he's almost blind, he's overweight, trying to avoid dialysis, my mother doesn't pay child support at all (loong story)....
He needs me and I need him :/

But sometimes he relies on me a little too much. I basically take care of him all the time. My brother does NOTHING but take out the trash, if he's forced, maybe once a month. I put all the groceries away, bring him stuff, help him when he's sick, help him drive, walk with him twice a day, look up stuff for him, type for him sometimes, etc. etc. etc.

One of my friend is suggesting that the only way to get out of it is to run away. My dad verbally abuses my brother and I a lot, and the only reason I have to do all this crap for him is because I'm the only one in the family that puts up with him.

What should I do? I tried to bring up my brother helping out a bit more before and he completely went crazy, yelling at me for being so ungrateful and all...

I dunno, I'm just stuck. I love him and all but I'm getting tired of it all. Help? D8

 

[Zanacross]

I wouldn't put it with it. He may love you but love isn't treating you like crap and thats what he seems he is doing. I would get the authorities in to help you. He will understand if he loves you.

 

[Motsuko Live]

Okay this may take a little long to explain but here goes.

It's about my dad - it's turned into a 50/50 deal between us. Half the time I'm on his good side, we go take pictures of the mountains and walk around and have intelligent conversation... and the other half he treats me just like my brother.

My brother's a straight-F student. Literally. My dad yells at him, cusses him out (sometimes) and once dumped him on the side of the street for his attitude. (My brother DOES have quite the attitude; I can see both sides.)

My dad has sooo many problems going on; stage 4 of 5 kidney disease, diabetes, financial situations, he hates his job and his boss, my brother, he's almost blind, he's overweight, trying to avoid dialysis, my mother doesn't pay child support at all (loong story)....
He needs me and I need him :/

But sometimes he relies on me a little too much. I basically take care of him all the time. My brother does NOTHING but take out the trash, if he's forced, maybe once a month. I put all the groceries away, bring him stuff, help him when he's sick, help him drive, walk with him twice a day, look up stuff for him, type for him sometimes, etc. etc. etc.

One of my friend is suggesting that the only way to get out of it is to run away. My dad verbally abuses my brother and I a lot, and the only reason I have to do all this crap for him is because I'm the only one in the family that puts up with him.

What should I do? I tried to bring up my brother helping out a bit more before and he completely went crazy, yelling at me for being so ungrateful and all...

I dunno, I'm just stuck. I love him and all but I'm getting tired of it all. Help? D8

First of all, don't run away. Believe me, I know that might seem like the best solution sometimes, but it really isn't. In fact, it can only make things worse.

I'd love to help you out, but you've basically solved the problem for yourself;
"...and the only reason I have to do all this crap for him is because I'm the only one in the family that puts up with him."
Quit it. Plain and simple. Stop doing everything for him. I know, he's sick, you feel bad for him and you love him, but that's no excuse to let him treat you like a slave. Humans can become, for lack of a better term, currupt very easily. You're letting him have power. Don't let him control you; take that power away from him.

I'm not saying that you should never do anything for him again, mind you. In fact, it's a very responsible thing you're doing, by taking care of him. When circumstances are crappy, sometimes you just need to hold on. It's good to see you're mature enough to stick with him this long.

Anyway, you need to, as I said, take control. If he's unable to even type on his own, then it's obvious to anyone that he's unfit to be "boss". Next time you feel he's taking advantage of you, try simply refusing his request. He'll eventually come to see that you're not his slave, and if he truly loves you, then he'll understand. This is a crucial point in your life. You're making new friends, learning how to behave in public, discovering your style, and more. It's greedy of your father to keep you from all this because you're too busy taking care of him.

However, I do not know your father personally, so I don't know how he'll react to any of this. If you feel uncomfortable doing it, then don't. Get CAS involved or something. They should be able to help.

Good luck!

 

[Buoysel]

I see where your coming form about living here for 17years. But that is not true, i have lived in the small town that i will be moving back to. although it has been 11 years. The reason i am thinking about moving is because my mother is like tri-polar, and not on any meds. that and i dont realy have anything good down here. sure i got a job a car, but my best friend moved to Oklahoma last year, so i really dont have any friends, at least my age. I want to move because i like it up there. where i live there is nothing to do for the youth, up there like i said it is not that far from lots of stuff. It is hard to explain the crap i have gone though with my mother, She has physical and mentally abused me, she has not done so now that i have grown taller than her(i think she is afraid that i may get tired of her crap and hit back). The one that stick out the most in my memory is a couple of years ago she was beating on the door because it was "locked" (which is wasn't) any way she woke me up at like 1230 am and i opened the door and then she started yelling at me how that i was such a lair for locking the door. She went as far as calling me a "laying sack of ****." So there is a deep background why I want to move. Its not that I am running away. Even if my mother died right this second, I would probley still move, I just don't like it here. True I have spent most of my life here, but I can only go so far in such a small isolated town.

 

[fade101]

Ok, one question!
MONKEY BARS people!!! Does it make you taller???
I take my daily dose of milk and uhh some healthy food but i ain't growin any taller...
I still look like a 10 year old... Help...

 

[Buoysel]

Are you 10 years old? Short of taking growth hormones (which i do not recommend), you are just going to have to wait. you will evenly hit your growth spurt.

 

[Motsuko Live]

I see where your coming form about living here for 17years. But that is not true, i have lived in the small town that i will be moving back to. although it has been 11 years. The reason i am thinking about moving is because my mother is like tri-polar, and not on any meds. that and i dont realy have anything good down here. sure i got a job a car, but my best friend moved to Oklahoma last year, so i really dont have any friends, at least my age. I want to move because i like it up there. where i live there is nothing to do for the youth, up there like i said it is not that far from lots of stuff. It is hard to explain the crap i have gone though with my mother, She has physical and mentally abused me, she has not done so now that i have grown taller than her(i think she is afraid that i may get tired of her crap and hit back). The one that stick out the most in my memory is a couple of years ago she was beating on the door because it was "locked" (which is wasn't) any way she woke me up at like 1230 am and i opened the door and then she started yelling at me how that i was such a lair for locking the door. She went as far as calling me a "laying sack of ****." So there is a deep background why I want to move. Its not that I am running away. Even if my mother died right this second, I would probley still move, I just don't like it here. True I have spent most of my life here, but I can only go so far in such a small isolated town.

I see. 11 years is still a long time, but I guess not too, too long. Yeah, well, if you honestly think it would be better where your step-father lives, then that's where you should be. But be sure to explain to your mom why you're moving, to
a) put her on a guilt trip, and
b) Let her know that not everyone is going to put up with her ish. Might as will try to teach her a lesson before you leave; it's the least you can do.

But yeah, now that you explain it better, I would definitely move, too. Again, I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

Ok, one question!
MONKEY BARS people!!! Does it make you taller???
I take my daily dose of milk and uhh some healthy food but i ain't growin any taller...
I still look like a 10 year old... Help...

No. Monkey bars don't make you taller.
Some people are just small. It's not your fault, so don't let it be your problem, either.
Remember; the people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter!

 

[fade101]

Are you 10 years old? Short of taking growth hormones (which i do not recommend), you are just going to have to wait. you will evenly hit your growth spurt.

13... well I'll be 14 in December... 14!!! Growth spurt? Hope soo or i just have to take those... hormones...

No. Monkey bars don't make you taller.
Some people are just small. It's not your fault, so don't let it be your problem, either.
Remember; the people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter!

Zomg!!! I've been wasting 2 hours everyday with monkey bars and it doesn't make you taller??! *sigh*
Anyways dude, those are some... wise words. Thanks!

 

[Franceschi]

It's such a clichéy problem, but I tell it anyway.

Lately I've been feeling really lonely. And when I say that I mean, I feel so lonely it's made me depressed "/
I'm forever flitting between groups trying to fit in and find a place and I never have. At school, I always have to spend my lunchtimes with different people because the people I was with the last time have gone off.
And out of school, I have about 4 friends who I can hang out with because everyone else is just there.
I've never had a best friend where I live, they always live in different places - e.g. Torbay, Cheltenham.

I just want to stop feeling so lonely, and I'm unsure how. Anyone have any ideas? "/
( Apologies for how clichéy this is. I did warn you [: )

 

[Motsuko Live]

It's such a clichéy problem, but I tell it anyway.

Lately I've been feeling really lonely. And when I say that I mean, I feel so lonely it's made me depressed "/
I'm forever flitting between groups trying to fit in and find a place and I never have. At school, I always have to spend my lunchtimes with different people because the people I was with the last time have gone off.
And out of school, I have about 4 friends who I can hang out with because everyone else is just there.
I've never had a best friend where I live, they always live in different places - e.g. Torbay, Cheltenham.

I just want to stop feeling so lonely, and I'm unsure how. Anyone have any ideas? "/
( Apologies for how clichéy this is. I did warn you [: )

Sounds like you're having the same problem I used to have, my friend. I'll tell you how I solved it;

I used to be the person you just described. I'd never had a best friend, always been an "outsider", never fit into any social groups. I felt like a loser. I thought there was something wrong with me, so I'd get frustrated and angry with myself. I hated living. It was pretty sad when you had more fun spending time with your family than your "current-friends"

However, I realized that all these feelings had started after I'd turned about eleven; the age I hit puberty. I soon figured out the insecurity goes hand in hand with puberty. We all feel insecure about ourselves at times. Low self-esteem doesn't help much, either.

What you need to remember is that everyone has their flaws. And not everyone judges people by them. When you're hanging out with people at school, are you constantly judging them? Or watching them very closely, ready to reject them if they do something wrong? No, you aren't. And chances are they aren't, either (unless they're super-preppy, egotistical bastards, which I hope they're not). Not everyone is out to judge you, so relax. Be yourself, and have fun. You'll eventually find where you fit in.

I'm now fifteen years old, and while I do feel extremely self concious at times, I'm doing alot better. I don't have a "posse", but I do have two, loyal friends, who I' trust with my life. No, they're not the coolest kids in school, but who cares? We're too busy having fun too feel sorry for ourselves.

I really hope this helps you out. It did for me.
Abd before you say it sounds too "easy", just try it. "Cliche" problems usually have "cliche" solutions.

 

[Razer302]

.freak great advise.

best thing is to be yourself and find friends you are comfortable with and have things in common with. I always used to feel like an outsider. But after a year at my school I found people I have a lot in common with and feel much more comfortable than I used to. I got confidence by talking to people on the internet. They got to know me for me and if they didn't like me I could just block them. It wasn't like either of us was bothered. Also if you find someone that likes you for who you are then that gives a big confidence boost.

 

[Buoysel]

Lately I've been feeling really lonely. And when I say that I mean, I feel so lonely it's made me depressed "/

I think that a lot of people go through this, I certainly did. I am going to tell you what someone told me.

In high school I was an outsider, just one of those people. I didn't have many friends. I wasn't the most physically fit, but one day I joined wrestling. When i joined I made a few friends. Eventually I started to make more and more. One day the wrestling team invited me to eat with them. After that, I became "one of the guys", we hung out had fun. I would see other students who had no friends; there were an "outsider".

That may not be word for word what he told me, but what he was trying to say is that you need to find something you enjoy, and do it. You will find friends in it.

I know that your current situation is depressing. I have been there and back. Just remember if you don't find any friends there, you can always have friends here.

(I only have one friend outside of PC, and he lives 300 miles away, needless to say we don't see each other much.)