The Simpsons funny sayings

[Mr Burn whipped Smithers]
Mr Burn: Fast Smithers
Smithers: Sir the whip is not helping
Mr Burn: Silent you call yourself a china man
 
Homer: why dont you do figure skating?
Lisa: i would love that!
Homer: i aint getting you up at 6:30 every morning to skate on frozen water!
(thats how i think it goes)
 
Bart: Please mum my dream is to became a rock star
Homer: And my dream is to get rid of Bart
 
Woman: Mrs Krabappel, you have won teacher of the year!
Edna: thank you. *cries*
Nelson: ha ha! theacher's crying!
Man: Nelson, you have won bully of the year.
Nelson: thank you. *cries* wedgie. *wedgies the man*
 
Salesman: Babies! get some babies
Homer: Hey this is a shaved puppy
Salesman: Oh! so you know about babies
 
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Mr. Skinner: Milhouse spell CHOKE
Milhouse: Oh thats easy...L.... D'oh!
 
Computer: To start press any key
Homer: Where's the any key?

Homer: mmm... Invisible cola...

Homer: English? Who wants English? We don't live in England.
 
Todd: Dad i want to buy this t-shirt
[t-shirt shows 'Get Bent']
Nedd Flander: hmm Get Bent..... so that means kneel down and pray. GET BENT everyone

Chief Wiggum: Hey Lou, where any size of t-shirt is for me. Extra, extra, extra, extra, extra, extra, extra, extra, large.
 
Lawyer: Mr. Simpsons can you tell us how well you take care of Bart?
Homer: Why you little....... Oh im sorry Judge i was very passionate to Bart
Judge Harm: Reporter can you tell me the previous statement?
Reporter: Why you little!
Homer:[Stare at Reporter with fist] Why you little!
Bart: Ha Ha!
[Stare at Bart with Fist]
Homer: Why you little! [stare at Judge Harm with fist] Why you little!
 
"Hey there. I'm Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins."
"Homer Simpson, smiling politely."
 
Homer: Dont worry Honey i call maintanance. Did you know where?
Marge: Knocker Route 2
Homer: :gasp: How did you know?
Marge: Cause im psychic
 
Bart: My dad was a drunken gambler, who spent all of our lifesavings on one bet.
Dealer: 18.
Homer: hit me.
Dealer: 19.
Homer: hit me.
Dealer: 20.
Homer: hit me.
Dealer: 21.
Homer: hit me.
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!
 
Marge: After we get to grampa's house, we will take the dog to the V-E-T
Santa Little Helper: Huh?
Marge: Then we will take Bart for C-I-R-R-C-U-M-S-I-S-E
Bart: Huh?
Marge: Ummm i'll tell you later when we get back home
 
all the best sayings come from the simpsons hit and run

hey i found my lost nacho's
i'm a lean mean speed thingy
i blame society
oooh the vibrations tickling my feet
tut tut tut reckless driving is my pet peeve\bart did it
please don't sue
i have road rage and i know how to use it
oh yeah stretch the legs and the crutch
lets do this thang
nothing lasts forever
"whispers" i'm not a very good driver
the important thing is im not imaganing these guys
having chest pains
walking- that wasn't part of the deal
i love to sit
i will never run again
it was like that when i got here

these were all from homer on the simpsons hit and run
check my sig too
 
Milhouse: Mum! where is my puppy goo goo?
[mum gives him puppy goo goo]
Milhouse: oh puppy goo goo fetch my dream [sigh]
 
(Probably not exact quotes)

Homer: (to his mother) I'm taking you where there isn't a single person around for miles -- DISNEY'S CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE!

Marge: That's not god, that's a waffle stuck to the ceiling!

Homer: He misread my pee!

Moe: *bows down to a duck with a halo*All hail quacky!

Homer: Are you a care bear?
Care Bear: Yes.
Homer: *breathes sigh of relief*
Care Bear: An INTENSIVE care bear! *pulls out crow bar*
Homer: *screams*

Mayor: What should we call our new town?
Person: New Springfield!
Other Person: (something else)
Barney: Burger King!

Sign: Welcome to Arkansas! the birthplace of Bill Clinton!
Homer: *locks car doors*

Wiggum: Well, sorry, Ralphie, it looks like they rejected your entry in the cooking contest.
Ralph: My cooking is awful!
Wiggum: No, no, I liked it.
Ralph: But you only took a pretend bite!
Wiggum: No, see? *picks up sandwich and takes bite* I'm eating it!
Ralph: Can you taste the thumbtacks?
Wiggum: Aw, crap.
 
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Bart: Dad. how drunk are you?
Homer: Not VERY!
Tony Hawk: You're goin down, then back up, then down, then up again, thats how the game plays.
 
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