Things you don't say to a cop

[BHwolfgang]

Officer, may you let my girlfriend play with your baton? ;)

 

[Barney.]

What!? I was just taking a rest on the hard shoulder!

 

[BHwolfgang]

Officer, may I ask you a question?

Did you ever drop the soap?

 

[Barney.]

Wow..you really seem to know your way around that hot dog.

 

[Crystal-Heart]

I was Speeding? I had to, that guy was chasing me!
*points to the cop's car*

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

Dude, why do you think my speedometer goes up to 140? Just to look cool? I don't think so.

If you find any contraband, just be aware that your mom asked me to hold on to it for her.

 

[Swift!]

Cop: Did you do this? *points to smashed in windscreen of cop car*
Me: No, your windscreen was already smashed in when I came to slash your tires.

OR

I use to have a gun once, but I sold it for drugs.

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

MOMMY! The bad officer is trying to touch me inappropriately!

 

[Crystal-Heart]

*scream out in a public place*
Ahhh!! He's got a gun!!
*run away*

 

[Mitchman]

Next time a watchman gets killed ill know who to blame! The fat slobs not watching the watchmen.

 

[Starway]

I see.. so where's your gun...?

 

[Cosmic Kid]

haha dude

i am so high right now

want a hit?

 

[Saltare.]

I stole a Big Mac from McDonalds....

Then I burned the place to the ground

 

[Starway]

Oh sorry about the mess back there you see I'm blind and....

 

[Lana.]

... Ummm... sir? You do know that your fly is down, right?

*speeds away while cop looks down*

 

[Starway]

It all started when I was born...

 

[BHwolfgang]

Officer, do you have your gun license with you?

 

[.Aero]

Officer, I swear to drunk that I'm not God!

 

[Starway]

Sir, Sir, Sir no sir please calm down.. no don't take out the ticket...no put it back...I SAID PUT IT BACK!

 

[Mitchman]

I got 3 hos 2 kees of dope in the back and i drank 3 bottles of vodka sir! wanna burn the roof of your precinct down?