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Through Espeon Eyes

Ha ha! I was called a boy millions of times and I never cared! Deoxys55, you said you can do the art for this story, right?

Oh, and I changed my theme yet again. Isn't it great? I love Isaac running across the screen with a dog chasing him, I couldn't stop laughing when I found it...

"I'd look where I was going if I were you, young Espeon." It screeched. It was a bird made of steel. I didn't know what it was though.

I wanted to ask "What are you?" but instead I asked, "Who are you?" in a quivering tone.

"The names Point Skarr." He replied with pride. "I suppose you've heard of the Skarr family already, hm?"

"Actually, no..." I answered in shame.

"Why, I'm shocked! The Skarrs are immensely popular around this region. Have you ever heard of the trainer Steven?"

"I'm not fond of any trainers, thank you."

Point laughed. "Steven! You know, the Champion in Hoenn! You've heard of Hoenn, no?"

I thought hardly. "Y-yes...Hoenn. Isn't Pacifidlog town there?"

"Exactly!" Point breathed with enthusiasm. "Of course, Steven lives in Mossdeep, an Island, not a heap of floating houses..."

I looked at him nervously. "Well, anyhow..." He resumed, "Steven has a member of the Skarr family in his collection of Pokemon. His name was Sharp, but as Steven is, he didn't give him a name, so it's Skarmory now."

"So...you're a Skarmory?" I asked.

"Why, yes. What did you think I was?" Point chuckled.

I thought back to the familiar name...Skarmory...I heard rumors of the fiercom creature, a predator and nearly invincible. Electric attacks barely hurt it because of it's metal coating, and ground and fighting weren't good because of being air borne. Its only weakness was the burning rage of fire.

"I've heard of Skarmories..." I aired. "Very strong--"

"Oh, yes, yes...very powerful, and hard to train if I say so myself..."

I just remembered Moonlight being in danger.

"Sorry, but I don't have time to doddle around here and talk...I need to find my husband..."

I froze in mid-motion. Husband? Moonlight was my husband...?
 
I love this Story!!!!!!! And I love golden sun also. I took that quiz you did to get sheba and I got Issac! Although I like fire more.
 
Well, the way you convey emotion is very good. Marvelous in fact. You probably are the greatest at conveying emotions from the fics I've seen so far. There is only one thing lettig you down: description. Whilst I can picture the Pokemon and their emotions perfectly, I can't picture the ground they walk orn, nor the sky they fly in or anything remotely to do with surroundings. Also, each chapter is incredibly short. This can be rectified by just conjoining two chapters together like so:

Chapter 1.................................... Finish

~~*~~

Chapter 2.................................... Finish

Apart from the description and chapter lengths, this is a very good fic, and could go far...

~ MCD
 
Well, the way you convey emotion is very good. Marvelous in fact. You probably are the greatest at conveying emotions from the fics I've seen so far.
I second that! =3
 
Wow a Skarmory! I Cant wait to read what happens next Is Moonlight Ok? Come back Moonlight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiightttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(
 
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!i have been reading it for ever
i just signed up yesterday and after reading this i desided i wanted to do my own story. of course it wont be as good as yours spon... :\
keep up the good work! :)
 
hmmm... what you should do is seperate the paragraphs... that would be easier to read. You need to check the spelling too. Anyways, that's a good story. You seem to capture the right emotion! Keep up the good work!
 
Last edited:
I got an insult! Nooo! And I forgot to tell you all, but this story doens't have any chapters. It's more like a diary in Sunlight's head. Now I will start describing the scenary better I've been practicing.

What had just slipped out of my mouth had staggered me. Moonlight was my husband? Point Skarr looked at me oddly and gave a swift flap of his wings.

"You awright there, young lass?" He called out like I was on the other side of the ocean.

I cracked back into reality and back into the scene of woodlands. I replied with no reply.

I sat down on my hauches as Point's eyes followed me.

"What seems to be the problem, my miss?" He asked again, cocking his head to one side.

"I-I'm fine..." I whispered as I pondered my remiscenes.

The great bird gave an echoing caw. "Alright? You can't be alright when you move around about like that. Come on: tell me. What's been troublin' you, lassie?"

I still sat down loosely, but my head was forced up by a string like I was some sort of marionette.

"What's wrong?" I snarled. "WHAT'S WRONG? I'll tell you what's 'troublin' me': I've been looking for my love, Moonlight the umbreon, and I just called him my husband when I never had any reunion or any sort of thing like that!"

I let out an agitated groan in the daytime air.

"No need to get all upity on me, miss." Point chuckled. "I just wanted to know what was wrong. You had a long face ever since I sat eyes upon you."

I looked away from his face and started heading towards where I came from.

"I'm glad you care, Mr. Skarr." I called out without looking back. "But I have more important things to do than socialize with naive Skarmory's."

Point Skarr didn't seem to at all care about being called naive. I just heard him caw back, "Please, lassie, just call me Point."

I stopped dead in front of a pile of foliage just remembering something.

"Oh, uh...Point?" I asked, swirving back around. "I forgot to ask...Which way to Hoenn?"

"Can you be a bit more specific, lassie. Hoenn a vast region."

I thought. "Do you know the way...to Sky Pillar?"

At that, he cawed rapidly and flapped his wings violently, becoming air-borne a few feet into the air. The dust from the ground rose up causing me to cough.

"Sk-Sky Pillar?!" He roared. "SKY PILLAR?! You want me to take you to...Sky Pillar?"

I nodded serenely. "Well...yes."

Point shook his head in forebounding. "No...no-no! Never shall you go near! It is very dangerous! Never, ever shall you go near! The King of Dragons...Rayquaza lives there!"

I pointed my nose in the air valiantly. "So."

Point narrowed in on me, his pointed nose alined with mine. "Are you mad?" He whispered. "Rayquaza can knock you out with just a scale from his chest. No way would you servive!"

"I didn't say I was going, did I?" I said cleverly with a stern face painted on. "And my question still hasn't been answered."



You know what everybody? I already thought of my second fan fic with Pokemon as the characters! I already told ClappySeel about it, though. It's called "Grass." Obviously, it's about grass pokemon. Are you almost done with that picture, Deoxys55?
 
Muhahahaha i shall be ze first to post muahaha good fanfic SPon11 what happens next??? i can't wait pass the butter and the popcorn please
 
this is getting good. anyone have any popcorn left over? i have butter.
*looks in tube* OK! WHO TOOK THE LAST OF THE BUTTER?!?!?
 
DEOXY55!!! DID YOU TAKE ALL OF THE BUTTER?!?!?I JUST BOUGHT THIS 3 DAYS AGO! *turns to spon* oh spon! great story! *back to deoxy55*
I`M GONNA GET U FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
ohhh..... so.... good.....must....have.....more.....

(i love psychic pokemon; espeons especialy)
 
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