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To all grocery store customers


fleeting assembly
So during my long hiatus from PokéCommunity I had the opportunity to experience something I hoped against hope I would never have to experience. It's called getting a job, in my case at a nearby grocery store.

The actual getting of the job was easy - disturbingly easy in fact. With a smile almost as blank as my resumé the manager accepted me onto the team. It was so easy that I worried about the hiring standards of the company. Would I come to my first shift only to discover that my co-workers were escaped convicts, zombies, drug addicts, slugs, or unspeakable abominations?

(Though it's not relevant to this blog, the answers are no, maybe, yes, possibly, and no)
Anyways, that was six months ago and though the co-workers are fine, I've developped quite a vendetta against our customers. Some major annoyances have been festering in my mind for months now, and now that I'm back on PC and have a proper blog, it's time to write the full list.
  • Please do not enter the store and ask me where ice cream is. Ice cream is directly in your face as soon as you walk in the door. It's the first thing you see. I don't get how anyone can walk past the massive freezer of the stuff on their way in, but apparently there are those of you who can. Back in the summer I got about two people per day asking me where to find it.

  • When you ask me where to find an item, and I tell you the aisle number, it baffles me that some people need to ask which direction it is. If you know the number of the one you're in, and you were walking past several aisles looking for the item, you presumably saw the big lit up aisle number. You should have enough information to deduce the direction you need to go. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes. This is especially true if you're asking me in an aisle at the edge of the store. There is only one direction to go from where we are, so please don't ask me such a stupid question.

  • On a similar note, if you walk into the aisle I'm in to ask me the location of item X, take a moment to look around you to see if you just stepped into the right aisle by accident. People saying "can you tell me where to find.... oh nevermind, there it is!" happens amazingly often.

  • If you ask me where a certain brand is, and I tell you we don't stock it, saying "but I've bought it here before" is an acceptable answer and there's nothing wrong with that, because I could be wrong. Right after that, however, I'm going to ask you when you bought it and the answer had better not be in years. We change up our inventory very often.

  • You see those big signs with the company name in the parking lot? The ones surrounded by carts? That means that this is a cart return. The implication of this is that the entire parking lot is not a cart return. We don't have enough storage space for carts inside the store so I need to go get more from the lot several times a day, and it's not fun to retreive half a dozen carts - which are impossible to steer if you're pushing more than 3 of them - from random spots in the parking lot, while having to dodge traffic. Are you trying to get me killed?

  • Contrary to popular belief, we grocery clerks won't lay a curse on your families if you put back an item in the wrong spot because you're too lazy to walk back. Our jobs are pretty dull and we appreciate the opportunity to spend a few minutes playing hide and seek every once in a while. However, some people have taken this to the next level. Leaving cold items in non-refrigerated sections makes me want to punch you. Leaving garbage on the aisles - I've seen my fair share of plastic bags, Starbucks cups, chip bags, etc. - makes me want to punch you. Breaking or ripping an item and then trying to hide it behind other items makes me want to punch you, because I both have to clean up the mess and check to see if you caused any other calamities.

  • We sort our aisles by product type, not by size. If you want a larger/smaller version of an item, do not ask me if we have it in another aisle. If we had it, it would be right next to the one you found.
That's all I have. The job itself isn't too bad, and whoever handles the money is either generous or stupid, because on several occasions he's rounded up the "hours worked" on our pay stubs to the nearest multiple of 10.


sleeping cutie
"whoever handles the money is either generous or stupid, because on several occasions he's rounded up the "hours worked" on our pay stubs to the nearest multiple of 10."



[i]memento mori[/i]
As a supervisor at a clothing store, I can tell you how accurate most of this stuff is.

Oh, oh, not to mention this: When a CROWD, I repeat, CROWD of people show up to the store at 0.2 minutes before closing time. I just wanna be like "GO HOME ALREADY".