Trust

[Mosbyyy]

Oh, hey there dude. Thanks for sharing the story.

So, let me rephrase what you're saying. You're telling me that this friend of yours is a cherished person that you've known for 6 years has possibly chosen to abandon you by marrying someone, despite saying that she would always be there for you? If that happened to me, I would certainly lose confidence in my abilities to decide who is trustworthy. Are you sure that you're not being too paranoid about the situation? I know a lot of married people that didn't forsake their friends.

well, that's in case her mother forces her to, we're Asian, you know, we're not that free like Western countries
And you should know that it's really arkward for a girl to be married and still have a weird relationship with a strange guy.
And what if one day I wake up and think "She is the one"
oh God... I might drink too much coffee
Anyway, right now I still believe and have trust in myself that maybe, if I work hard enough, I can reach her before that day come
Life gives you a lot of chances. You lost this chance, you gotta find another :)
The things like "I don't trust people" bla bla are just showing that you're scared to trust again, but that's temporary feeling. Eventually, you'll find someone who's worth your trust
As I said I don't know if I could trust anyone again if those things happened, well it's "if", not "definitely". Depends on how fast I can recover
Oh, and the "lost that quality over time" mean you're grown up. You know who you should trust and be wiser in life. That's something you should proud of

 

[Melody]

It depends on the Level of Trust you're talking about.

In a way I trust everybody, to be a decent human being. There are certain patterns that I trust people will follow, these are reasonable dictates of society. This also includes a bit of guesswork though, not everyone follows the exact same ruleset.

If you're talking about Auspice level trust, the kind of persons you'd tell all your secrets to, well...that's a different story. It can take me a while to really open up to someone and it's especially painful if I do open up to someone quicker than normal and find myself betrayed. So...I do try to compartmentalize things on a need-to-know basis even among trustworthy people.

That being said; I'm a pretty honest and open person; I don't keep many secrets. Most often my secrets are never all that devastating or special, they're things like mundane thoughts that I don't share with anyone but maybe one friend. In a way though, this is how I determine how trustworthy someone is.

 

[Kikaito plush]

I only really trust my mum

 

[curiousnathan]

I don't trust anyone lol.

 

[Legobricks]

Arguably so, but I seem to have unshakeable reservations in my own mind. I think this is an appropriate mindset to have adopted for most of my life but it's starting to seem unfortunate and unnecessary by now.

well, that's in case her mother forces her to, we're Asian, you know, we're not that free like Western countries

Resigning such a negative act to the concept of shikata ga nai is something I would urge you to have the courage to resist. No parent should force their child to do such a thing; it has incredibly negative implications for the human psyche regardless of how someone is brought up. Culture is not in fact a virtue but a projection of abuse from parent to child down the generations. I understand there is not much you can do about your position, but at least if you understand this it might help you sometimes.

I trust my mother with my life. We've been through a lot together in my lifetime, and she is very good to me.

That's very good thing, you should know. Not many people really have genuine closeness with their parents.

 

[Mosbyyy]

Resigning such a negative act to the concept of shikata ga nai is something I would urge you to have the courage to resist. No parent should force their child to do such a thing; it has incredibly negative implications for the human psyche regardless of how someone is brought up. Culture is not in fact a virtue but a projection of abuse from parent to child down the generations. I understand there is not much you can do about your position, but at least if you understand this it might help improve your life down the line.

yeah, it's like some novel about Feudal Society. Just have to wait 'till I can make a a crapload of money and show them who is the Boss. I'm really optimistic right now