Unforgiven

[VisionofMilotic]

Have you ever cut off contact with someone, particularly a loved one like a friend, family member or significant other?

I am not talking about just falling out of touch, but decidedly ending that relationship?

Where is your limit? What can you not accept from someone who hopes to have a relationship with you?

 

[EmTheGhost]

I am lucky enough to have never had to do that. But, even if I did, I wouldn't equate that with "unforgiven", because the point of doing so isn't to hurt the other person or prevent them from having a good life (you don't have the power to do that last thing, anyway), but to (smartly) protect yourself from being harmed by them.
Honestly? This is gonna sound harsh, but if someone does cut you from their life in an attempt to hurt you, or rubs it in your face or tries to make the process as painful as possible...that probably means that it's time to move on from that person.
I'm not saying they're worth less than anybody else, or even that they're wrong to do it, just that if somebody is using their affections (in any sense of the word, not just romantic) as a bargaining chip or weapon, then that's their prerogative and it's better if you, as the object of this, don't internalize that.
Respect their decision. Acknowledge what you did to make this happen, and sincerely work as hard as you can to improve yourself. Feel the guilt, and use it to motivate yourself to be better, not cripple yourself. Miss the person, feel that pain as much as you need to, and acknowledge that it's a natural consequence of what's happening and can be overcome with time just like any other negative emotion. But unless they're the doctor operating your life support system, one specific person not being part of the circle of people who care about you is never the end of the world.

(Sorry if that got preachy, but it's something I feel very strongly about and I think isn't talked about enough. If my little rant is seen by even one person who needs it, it'll be worth it. ^_^)

 

[VisionofMilotic]

I had to do this unfortunately with an ex. It was a toxic relationship, and I was advised to sever it completely with blocking phone numbers, going to authorities, because he was obsessed with me, and wouldn't leave me in peace. He could not accept the reality that I didn't feel the same way, and he would not take no for an answer. He was not going to ever stop it unless he was prevented from getting close to me again. No regrets about going no contact, except not doing it sooner. He brought nothing but drama and trouble, and if I could turn back time I would fix it so I never met this creep.

To answer my own question, if I witness someone display callous, demeaning behavior to others, or if I feel like someone is trying to control or manipulate me, then I don't want to be around someone like that. Life is too short as it is, and there is already too much suffering in the world to lose whatever precious moments we have to unnecessary negativity.

 

[EnglishALT]

I had to excommunicate my cousin, he was someone who I idolized as a child and looked up to. However about 8 years ago I decided to post on Facebook some very emotional information about the crimes my now divorced father was doing to my mother and I and our history with him. My cousin decided to become an apologist for such crimes, including saying that since my mom was married that it was not a crime. Things got so heated he threatened to drive 300 miles from Houston to Dallas to "beat me up" for daring to post stuff about his uncle on Facebook. I have not spoken to him since.

 

[Megan]

Sounds like my relationship with the rest of the world. I tried getting along with others, but never felt like being a part of a group. In general I don't seem to get along with anyone as my inability to make friends has shown again and again. It also doesn't help that I've grown my own weird ideology that won't align well with any other ideology out there. So for the time being I don't have much of a choice, but to refrain from interacting with any human beings until I find another way.

 

[Aslan]

I have once cut someone out of my life completely because they were emotionally manipulative and toxic. They were also overstepping my friend's boundaries and making them feel extremely uncomfortable. I generally like to give people second chances, but it was too much to consider trying to maintain the friendship. Have not spoken to them in about a year. Since we don't run into each other that much I just blocked them and removed them from social media. They did try to continue contacting me but I ended up ignoring it and they finally stopped.

I can't maintain contact with someone who continuously tries to guilt trip me and tries to forces me into staying their friend. That's when I draw the line and back out of the friendship but I can say that so far the person I mentioned is the only person I've ever had to cut out of my life completely. There's also another person who I've cut contact with mostly but not quite - they just made me feel really uncomfortable, and so I've distanced myself completely from them.