Virtual Relationships

[TurboHammer]

So through my many years of being on the web I've been in some rather non-proud cyber relationships with a few girls. Though I'm not an unattractive guy- according to my now 4 month physical girlfriend (sad I have to put it like that {XD} ) I couldn't help but sometimes feel attached to someone's avatar that I've been talking to and have been sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings with them.

So my question is- Have you ever been in a "Cyber" relationship. Or, have you ever found yourself way to attached to someone you've never meet? If so how do you justify your feelings and thoughts about that friend or partner? Ever been catfished?

 

[maccrash]

it's definitely possible to become attracted to people over the internet, but I've learned that it's pretty silly to put those feelings into something "Real," in my opinion, depending on how far apart you live, how old you are, etc. at my age, it'd be Ridiculous to think about getting into something serious with someone in, like, Finland or something.

 

[Oryx]

I've dated online before, when I was in high school. I learned a few hard lessons about it, such as when I actually met the person and we didn't click at all. Basically the most awkward few days ever and made me realize that there's just something about real life that can't be replicated online. Then I got in a real, long-term relationship in college and I realized that I just can't do online dating once I've had the real thing. First of all, relationships are complicated enough without having super long distance from the start. Second of all, interacting in person is very important to know if you have a spark and can make it long-term. Third of all, online timeframes are very different than real life time frames; everyone I knew who dated online found 3 months to be incredibly long, when in real life it's basically the blink of an eye. Finally, being intimate is important to the vast majority of people - not necessarily sexually intimate, but just being around the person, so it become a less intense relationship.

I understand starting dating by dating online, or even dating online after having a few short-term relationships in real life, but by adulthood you should probably have moved on from dating people on the internet.

(Note: I'm not including meeting people on the internet like OKCupid, just dating exclusively online)

 

[Poki]

Online or not, it's still a relationship. After all, your soulmate could live on the other end of the world. However, it's not difficult at all to hide your true identity behind the computer screen, and people should have that in mind. I'm all in for online dating, despite all the inconveniences it may cause along the way.

 

[Klippy]

I've made some of my closest friends through online interactions, this website specifically. Three of my best friends go/have gone on PC (Morkula, Marz, Jak) and we are still close to this day. I've been lucky enough to meet ONE friend from here (Marz) and we had a blast hanging IRL. It's definitely a unique way of becoming close with people, but it's sort of great because you can get almost the same interactions you would have in person online, especially with online gaming and things like that because those activities help you grow closer with people as well.

I've also fallen in love (and had my heart broken) by a girl I met online and it felt stronger (and hurt worse) than any girl I've known off the Internet.

In a way the relationships you build through the Internet can be stronger than any you make off of the Internet because it's most often a purely emotional relationship and the physical factors play no part in how you feel. The people I meet through PC are often the people I consider my closest and strongest friendships/relationships. All my friends that were part of my old "clique" are still the best friends I've had growing up and I am thankful to have this website if only for them!

 

[Auticorn]

I'm actually in one currently. I prefer online because it's much easier for me. Being someone with autism, it's often hard to process or look someone in the face all of the time. It can become overwhelming to be loved in real life than online. Basically, I feel that I can connect more emotionally to my boyfriend than I could in a real life setting.

As for friends, I have a lot of people I used to be attached to. However, because of the amount of pain I've gone through... it's ruined my confidence and made it hard for me to really keep very good friends. I do have close friends, but I try not to get too close. I fear that if I do, I will end up losing them somehow. :/ I'm more of a loner, so I can't really go into detail about what relationships truly mean to me and all that junk.

The only attachment I have is towards my boyfriend and David Tennant, but I don't know him personally, so he doesn't count lol.

 

[TurboHammer]

it's definitely possible to become attracted to people over the internet, but I've learned that it's pretty silly to put those feelings into something "Real," in my opinion, depending on how far apart you live, how old you are, etc. at my age, it'd be Ridiculous to think about getting into something serious with someone in, like, Finland or something.

Yeah, looking back at those young days of mine can be pretty embarrassing. I lived in Norway a year when I 17, and fell for this girl I meet on a game. She lived in the Netherlands. Had plans to meet and such. Of course the plans fell through, but I can't be a COMPLETE idiot for making the plans haha.

I've dated online before, when I was in high school. I learned a few hard lessons about it, such as when I actually met the person and we didn't click at all. Basically the most awkward few days ever and made me realize that there's just something about real life that can't be replicated online. Then I got in a real, long-term relationship in college and I realized that I just can't do online dating once I've had the real thing. First of all, relationships are complicated enough without having super long distance from the start. Second of all, interacting in person is very important to know if you have a spark and can make it long-term. Third of all, online timeframes are very different than real life time frames; everyone I knew who dated online found 3 months to be incredibly long, when in real life it's basically the blink of an eye. Finally, being intimate is important to the vast majority of people - not necessarily sexually intimate, but just being around the person, so it become a less intense relationship.

I understand starting dating by dating online, or even dating online after having a few short-term relationships in real life, but by adulthood you should probably have moved on from dating people on the internet.

(Note: I'm not including meeting people on the internet like OKCupid, just dating exclusively online)

Oh wow extremely insightful. Yeah it was a lot like that for me as well. I've never meet the people I've "dated" online before though. I've had a very interesting relationship with a girl that I meet in class my senior year of high school though. I ended up sending her a friend request because I had her in a class of mine. We chatted back and forth and exchanged Skypes. We hit it off and talked every night and such, but we never really made that physical in person connection for some reason. After about 3 weeks of staying up to 3am every night talking I asked her out, and to say the least it was such an awkward time. I just don't understand it. It wasn't that we didn't have anything in common. It was just probably because we never had that face to face confrontation. How was meeting someone you meet online? I've always been curious.

 

[Sirfetch’d]

I'm very interested in online relationships but I have never actually been in one. That said, I have became very attached to all of my friends online so meeting a significant other online and not being able to see them in person would probably be very difficult for me to do haha. I just feel like my options are better online and I'm more likely to find someone who shares similar interests to me!

 

[Magic Christmas Lights]

I've been in four internet relationships: three in high school and one after college (my current one). My current boyfriend and I moved in with each other two weeks after we started dating, so the online component didn't last very long. Lol. We've been dating for about two months now and it's going great.

 

[Razgriz]

yeah, I've been in one and to tell you the truth it wasn't that good. Its not easy and in the end what you hope for never comes true, its all just an illusion. After that I started going out and meeting real chicks, trust me bro, its a million times better to feel someone next to you rather than just imagine and hope, and hope and hope....

 

[Sean]

I personally could never ever get into a virtual relationship, it's filled with too much desire and longing, which I wouldn't be able to cope with. The only type of relationship I'll be getting into is direct physical one where they live 1 hour least away from me.

However virtual relationships can and do work, and are much more successful than most relationships if done correctly, as you really know the persons personality

 

[Oryx]

Oh wow extremely insightful. Yeah it was a lot like that for me as well. I've never meet the people I've "dated" online before though. I've had a very interesting relationship with a girl that I meet in class my senior year of high school though. I ended up sending her a friend request because I had her in a class of mine. We chatted back and forth and exchanged Skypes. We hit it off and talked every night and such, but we never really made that physical in person connection for some reason. After about 3 weeks of staying up to 3am every night talking I asked her out, and to say the least it was such an awkward time. I just don't understand it. It wasn't that we didn't have anything in common. It was just probably because we never had that face to face confrontation. How was meeting someone you meet online? I've always been curious.

I've met...two people in real life that I originally met online I think. The first was the boyfriend when I was 16 - he came and visited me and stayed in my house for a few days. It was the most awkward thing ever, because there just wasn't that spark but we both felt like we should be acting like a couple because we were a couple, it just didn't feel comfortable in real life. We broke up soon after.

The second guy was just my friend, but I had Skyped with him more than that boyfriend (I didn't use Skype back then so it was all text), I was older and less awkward, and I brought my current boyfriend along. All that conspired to make it a pretty pleasant trip to visit him, although I didn't expect his place to have black mold and be generally creepy. I think part of it was just because we weren't dating, we met up as friends and didn't need that special spark, just to enjoy each other's company, much less pressure.

 

[TurboHammer]

I've made some of my closest friends through online interactions, this website specifically. Three of my best friends go/have gone on PC (Morkula, Marz, Jak) and we are still close to this day. I've been lucky enough to meet ONE friend from here (Marz) and we had a blast hanging IRL. It's definitely a unique way of becoming close with people, but it's sort of great because you can get almost the same interactions you would have in person online, especially with online gaming and things like that because those activities help you grow closer with people as well.

I've also fallen in love (and had my heart broken) by a girl I met online and it felt stronger (and hurt worse) than any girl I've known off the Internet.

In a way the relationships you build through the Internet can be stronger than any you make off of the Internet because it's most often a purely emotional relationship and the physical factors play no part in how you feel. The people I meet through PC are often the people I consider my closest and strongest friendships/relationships. All my friends that were part of my old "clique" are still the best friends I've had growing up and I am thankful to have this website if only for them!

I can completely understand where you're coming from for a long time I used to text a group of friends I meet online. But, when I quit the game we never really talked again which kinda sucked, but we ended up moving on. Speaking of which I'm gonna text them right now haha. I also had my heart broken so I feel you. I was cheated on (online), and another time I was dumped to date someone else online. Though I've had more RL relationships for some reason the online break ups resinate with me so much longer for some reason. It might be because they were maybe a pure emotion based relationship. Though I cammed with the girls I dated online, and found them extremely attractive haha.

I'm very interested in online relationships but I have never actually been in one. That said, I have became very attached to all of my friends online so meeting a significant other online and not being able to see them in person would probably be very difficult for me to do haha. I just feel like my options are better online and I'm more likely to find someone who shares similar interests to me!

I agree 100%! Though I didn't meet my current GF online I have a college campus to look for someone! But, when in the real world I honestly don't think I would easily find a girl that is really into Pokemon gaming and such. Don't get me wrong, I know they exist. Just harder to come by in person.

 

[Pinkie-Dawn]

I once had a cyber relationship before, which was back in 2011. It was a young woman from Canada who moved into my state back in 2010 but later moved into Ohio with her foster parents after me and my father helped her call child service from her abusive father. We both share similar interests and soon started to fall in love, but it was unfortunately short-lived, because her foster parents took away her internet and her cellphone due to her low grades in school. I'm still remember her to this today.

 

[Pepperton]

I can see how a virtual relationship begins, but I don't see how it would work in the long run, and if they live far away, there's even less chance of it succeeding. Sure, there may be a connection, but I don't think anything online truly matches what it's like to meet and interact with someone in person. I've never been in a virtual relationship myself, but I have been in a long-distance relationship, and that was already complicated enough. d:

 

[TurboHammer]

I'm actually in one currently. I prefer online because it's much easier for me. Being someone with autism, it's often hard to process or look someone in the face all of the time. It can become overwhelming to be loved in real life than online. Basically, I feel that I can connect more emotionally to my boyfriend than I could in a real life setting.

As for friends, I have a lot of people I used to be attached to. However, because of the amount of pain I've gone through... it's ruined my confidence and made it hard for me to really keep very good friends. I do have close friends, but I try not to get too close. I fear that if I do, I will end up losing them somehow. :/ I'm more of a loner, so I can't really go into detail about what relationships truly mean to me and all that junk.

The only attachment I have is towards my boyfriend and David Tennant, but I don't know him personally, so he doesn't count lol.

Oh wow you gave me a whole new perspective I didn't expect to get out of this. I have no idea what it would be like the feel that way in a face to face relationship. Honestly it sounds absolutely terrifying. But, I'm glad to hear that you've found your own work around for it by virtual relationship. What are your plans for the future though (in relationships)

And I can understand completely. When I was 9 I moved from Norway to the US. I lost all my childhood friends and lost contact with any family I had ( to this day I only have my grandparents whom live 5 mins away from me). When I was 17 I had to move back to Norway due to Visa problems, and after about 2 months of living there none of the friends I made in the 8 years I lived the US kept in any form of contact with me. That and I felt like an alien around any family that we would visit. It was tough moving back to the US, and I don't really trust anyone to be a true friend to me anymore haha. I'm leaving a lot out of how I've been back stabbed by my best mates, but thats a different post.

 

[Yato]

I've never been in an online relationship before, but I certainly have met most of my closest friends online; a majority of them here on PC. Those people I would really love to hang out with irl, but unfortunately, I've only gotten the chance to do so with one :< Anyway, the reason why I consider them such close friends is because we share many similar interests, talk a lot (though that hasn't really happened with some of them lately due to my being absent from here a while back), and still remain close even when we get into arguments. They're also people I'd trust many of my secrets with and would be all right ranting to.

Moving back to romantic virtual relationships, I'd be all right with getting into one myself, especially since it's a lot easier for me to talk online than it is in real life. That being said, I probably would want to meet up with my significant other irl at some point, which could be difficult depending on how far away we live from each other. Still, it'd be worth trying, as things could work out well and we may get along well online and in real life!

 

[TurboHammer]

I've been in four internet relationships: three in high school and one after college (my current one). My current boyfriend and I moved in with each other two weeks after we started dating, so the online component didn't last very long. Lol. We've been dating for about two months now and it's going great.

oh my gosh! I cant even imagine moving in with my girlfriend right now (or her with me). I've had about 4 as well I believe... How did/do you feel about moving in so soon?

 

[Auticorn]

Oh wow you gave me a whole new perspective I didn't expect to get out of this. I have no idea what it would be like the feel that way in a face to face relationship. Honestly it sounds absolutely terrifying. But, I'm glad to hear that you've found your own work around for it by virtual relationship. What are your plans for the future though (in relationships)

I do want to meet him someday. I hope that day will come when I'm ready for it. For now, we just stick to keeping our relationship online until we figure out a way to meet.

 

[Sydian]

I was in love with someone I met here for about four years. He broke my heart once or twice as well. But I've seen some successful relationships bloom here on PC as well. It can, and definitely does, happen.