❖
❖
- 3
- Posts
- 14
- Years
- Seen Jun 20, 2009
Prologue
Right, so, um
It seems like I should be here.
Not, like, physically here, not sitting in my basement pretending to be some bigshot roleplayer and weeping on my cat the whole time.
But here, that is to say, the noob board. Argumentum ad numerum.
I just registered and whipped up an avatar so naturally the next step requires me to be here. Because it's best not to go against the grain, of course:
Chapter 1: About the Author.
I'm ❖.
My interests… what are my interests? I don't want to say history, because I'll seem like a loser… and I should probably tone down the whole "music" thing because I'll quickly run out of things to say… Guh, I like politicking. And video games: Earthbound, Pokémon... I'm very good at Super Smash Bros. Brawl for some reason.
There are so many potential paths for my future, that to say "I might major in International Relations" or "It'd be cool to be some kind of diplomat" would be so incomplete as to be totally unacceptable. So please don't ask.
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. Er, no, that's not it. Uh, let's see...
In my younger days I used to sport a shag. When I went to school I carried lunch in a bag with an app--
...
Whatever. As you can see see, I am a complete failure. Technically, literally. Everything I've ever tried or even attempted to do has gone down in flames. For each measure of effort I put in, double that measure of failure is returned upon me.
Once, for example, I wanted to accomplish Action 1. I wanted to avoid Action 2. I thought, "If I try to fail Action 2, and I fail at failing, I should succeed at Action 1! Hoho! Instead, I accomplished Action K, thereby failing at success and failure. Simultaneously.
Also, I shot a man on the county line. If only you could have seen his wild, white eyes as he floundered like a man in fire or lime... I watched him through the desert's sandy air, through that same dust sticking to his blood, presently ceasing its slow filling his lungs. As under a brown sea, I watched him drown. In all my dreams, before my helpless sight, he plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning. LOLJK
Chapter 2: What Does This Mean?
I am willing to offer whatever knowledge I may have available. The internet fascinates me. I would be considering a career in computers, except then I wouldn't have any free time to spend online. My world wide web needs me. As you can see, I choose my words carefully. I have diction, durn it.
As an American, I feel an undeserved sense of entitlement.
I enjoy writing, or, more, creating fictional friends for myself, and many of the ultimately useless facts I've learned in the past year or so are a direct result of research for these fictional friends. Oh, god, I'm so lonely. On a similar note, I've selected a group of approximately ten historical figures that help to guide many of my difficult decisions.
However, I have no difficult decisions. Hm. Yes, everything comes easy for me, my life is a breeze, and I am sure to be happy, healthy, and filthy rich for the remainder of my days. Yeah, I know everything. I enjoy everything. Just bring up a topic, I'll talk for days. You'll just have to seethe with your inherent inferiority.
Epilogue: Everyone Cool Dies At Age 57
If ❖ is too hard to spell, I also respond to ❖.
What I'm trying to say is, this introduction is really a subtle cry for help.
I suppose I can only hope that you (yes, you specifically) and I (this charming persona I've created) can get to know one another better.
If nothing else:
Right, so, um
It seems like I should be here.
Not, like, physically here, not sitting in my basement pretending to be some bigshot roleplayer and weeping on my cat the whole time.
But here, that is to say, the noob board. Argumentum ad numerum.
I just registered and whipped up an avatar so naturally the next step requires me to be here. Because it's best not to go against the grain, of course:
Chapter 1: About the Author.
I'm ❖.
My interests… what are my interests? I don't want to say history, because I'll seem like a loser… and I should probably tone down the whole "music" thing because I'll quickly run out of things to say… Guh, I like politicking. And video games: Earthbound, Pokémon... I'm very good at Super Smash Bros. Brawl for some reason.
There are so many potential paths for my future, that to say "I might major in International Relations" or "It'd be cool to be some kind of diplomat" would be so incomplete as to be totally unacceptable. So please don't ask.
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. Er, no, that's not it. Uh, let's see...
In my younger days I used to sport a shag. When I went to school I carried lunch in a bag with an app--
...
Whatever. As you can see see, I am a complete failure. Technically, literally. Everything I've ever tried or even attempted to do has gone down in flames. For each measure of effort I put in, double that measure of failure is returned upon me.
Once, for example, I wanted to accomplish Action 1. I wanted to avoid Action 2. I thought, "If I try to fail Action 2, and I fail at failing, I should succeed at Action 1! Hoho! Instead, I accomplished Action K, thereby failing at success and failure. Simultaneously.
Also, I shot a man on the county line. If only you could have seen his wild, white eyes as he floundered like a man in fire or lime... I watched him through the desert's sandy air, through that same dust sticking to his blood, presently ceasing its slow filling his lungs. As under a brown sea, I watched him drown. In all my dreams, before my helpless sight, he plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning. LOLJK
Chapter 2: What Does This Mean?
I am willing to offer whatever knowledge I may have available. The internet fascinates me. I would be considering a career in computers, except then I wouldn't have any free time to spend online. My world wide web needs me. As you can see, I choose my words carefully. I have diction, durn it.
As an American, I feel an undeserved sense of entitlement.
I enjoy writing, or, more, creating fictional friends for myself, and many of the ultimately useless facts I've learned in the past year or so are a direct result of research for these fictional friends. Oh, god, I'm so lonely. On a similar note, I've selected a group of approximately ten historical figures that help to guide many of my difficult decisions.
However, I have no difficult decisions. Hm. Yes, everything comes easy for me, my life is a breeze, and I am sure to be happy, healthy, and filthy rich for the remainder of my days. Yeah, I know everything. I enjoy everything. Just bring up a topic, I'll talk for days. You'll just have to seethe with your inherent inferiority.
Epilogue: Everyone Cool Dies At Age 57
If ❖ is too hard to spell, I also respond to ❖.
What I'm trying to say is, this introduction is really a subtle cry for help.
I suppose I can only hope that you (yes, you specifically) and I (this charming persona I've created) can get to know one another better.
If nothing else:
