A lot of you are misreading my posts and still don't seem to understand my point... Or jump from one thing I
didn't say at all into something you might have think I said.
Scarf said:
@IceSage: You were saying you didn't see a point in anyone telling anyone else their orientation, etc.
No, I said that it's really not necessary to create a thread on internet forums talking about something in which in no way determines what kind of person people are inside. The main reason why I started bringing this up is because the main poster of this topic decided it was crucial to include "I'm not one for labels, but my whole life is labels." I honestly don't believe this is true... And you're doing the reverse of what you say you're against.
I'm glad you do see the benefit in having a thread like this for people who are in the closet, about to come out, or recently out. That's something you would have done well to add to the "I just don't see the point of announcing it constantly, or on forums" line you made.
That's not really what I said, actually. I said that people who
start threads and conversations like this, seem to be uncomfortable with their sexual orientation. In order to deal with it, some feel the need to share it with the whole world, when honestly, it's not that big of a deal.
I'm also glad you think being queer is not something someone should feel uncomfortable about, but did it occur to you that in order for some of us to feel comfortable with ourselves we seek out people who'll be understanding and accepting and that we might use a forum full of people to do so?
Do you really feel ashamed of your own sexual attraction to whoever you happened to be attracted to? So much so, that you need to talk about it? I'll get back to this later on in this post, which also has to do with something I typed earlier.
I know a lot of this thread has been full of silly stuff, but throughout all that we have actually talked about coming out and the troubles some of us are having relating to it.
Then that's great, but I'm not really referring to the people communicating within in the topic really. I'm more or less talking directly to the OP, and others like them, who feel the need to start conversations like this out of the blue. Like I said earlier, since when do you go in for a job interview, or meet a guy at a bar, and they introduce themselves with, "Hey, I'm Bob, I'm straight!"
Pokejungle said:
IceSage I'm not going to bother replying to your post based on the merits of discussion sexuality openly, but just make an appeal to you based on the fact that many of us LGBT people have felt extremely ostracized, afraid to be ourselves, afraid that if we told people we were attracted to the same sex we would lose our friends or even family.
Again, I must state that the topics that have gone on in this thread can be rather beneficial and supportive. It's not the topic itself that I'm saying is redundant, but just the mere fact that someone feels like they NEED to bring such a thing up. The original post was "Hey, who's bi, gay straight, transsexual?" There's also the point in which the OP has "IM BI, HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT" and just the whole manner that HOW the topic was brought up.
Also, what you said about being afraid of your friends and family about your own independent nature is a perfectly natural reaction, and will happen no matter what, to everyone.
It is so important for the mental health of young (or old) LGBT people to talk with each other and create a strong network of friends who love and support each other and we can be who we are around each other.
Just LGBT, you sure about that? I'm sure that "people" that are caring, love, and support each other can be beneficial to helping each other. Are you telling me that if I'm straight, and I have LGBT friends, that I'm in no way a beneficial and supportive person in their life when they have issues, especially when at times I'd be their only option to talk to? The other person has to be LGBT?
I think now is time to drop the bombshell of another point I'm trying to make.
People who feel the need to constantly announce and be
too open about their sexual preference, are just as bad as those who make a habit of being against it. Ignorant and intolerant people constantly bring up the subject of it all the time, and in some cases, straight people will end up looking like fools when they make a point to point out to everyone that they're straight. (Of course, at those times, you just have to wonder...)
Constantly shoving into people's faces a sexual preference is not the way to go about things. People are people, how does sharing your sexual preference effect anything at all? In fact, it can sometimes ONLY bring a negative response. If I read "Hey, I'm ___ and I'm totally bi. Hells ya." in someone's signature, I won't really care at all. So, you're attracted to both genders, so what? I'm already tolerant and have no problem with it, so it's not going to evoke a response. However, if you get some jerk face McMoron, and they read that, they'll be more than happy to confront you on it. Then, of course, that person moans and complains to "leave me alone" and "I don't like labels" and "so what if that's my sexual preference" to McMoron... when, in fact, those 3 statements were actually initiated by the redundant need to point out your sexual preference... which, by the way, should only matter to YOU, and the person you're interested in. If I'm straight, telling me you're gay has no impact on me. It will, however, have an impact between you and whoever you're interested in. Is that me? No. So why do you need to constantly announce your sexual preference? The only time that would be beneficial is if you're looking for someone like-minded.
Your post simply does not take into account the pain and discrimination many of us have faced.
Really? Are you sure about that? Read above, I'm actually posting about the opposite. I'm explaining that starting or pointing out constantly that you're "gay" is just as bad as the discrimination, and that you're actually invoking pain on yourself by doing so. Today I went and did my laundry, then I want to the store, I then picked up some dinner at a restaurant, and then went home. Not once did I need to mention or make anyone aware of my sexual preference; as it's none of THEIR business, and I had a non-confrontational day. On the other hand, if I decided to go to all these places, wearing a "PROUD TO BE GAY" T-Shirt, constantly informing everyone that I'm gay and that if they have a problem with it, I'd be more than happy to defend my position... I'm quite sure there would be several confrontations... None of them positive.
There's nothing wrong with being who you are, and yes, there are asshats who, when they get knowledge of your specific sexual preference, tend to have a problem with it. However, that is much different than going around informing and being on the defensive constantly, about who you are.
Have I gotten shouts of "FAG" thrown at me before when I'm with my boyfriend? Multiple times.
That's quite a different scenario. That's just you, and your boyfriend, minding your own business... And a couple of ignorant morons deciding to be cruel cause they think it's hilarious. Silently, in a way, it was obvious that you were gay, as you were with your boyfriend. But, I don't think at any point you were going around telling people you're gay, or that you HAD to make a point about it. No, you were simply going about your business.
So, why, exactly, would someone need to start a topic and include in their signature, the fact that they're "gay/bi/etc." and be on the defensive about it automatically? That's not the way it works.
Please respect the well being of others and understand that it may be more important than what you feel is appropriate or socially acceptable.
Where in my posts did I argue that it's not important? I never even shared my views on what's "appropriate" or "socially acceptable." You're pulling that out of thin air. Nowhere did I disrespect others either. If you'd bother to read my posts correctly, you'd see that I'm not talking about the subject of sexuality itself, but the types of people, and the need to constantly point out what their sexual preferences are.
The OP did not create this topic with the original intent of "Hey, who's had problems because you're LGBT? Come together and talk about your experiences." It was more of a, "Hey! I'm totally bi! I totally don't like labels! (Even though I'm making a topic placing labels on myself.) Who's had problems with being labeled? Oh by the way, I'm bi. Who else is LGBT?"
There's a huge difference. Also, read the poster's sig. He felt the need to include he's bi in it. Sure, it's great that you've accepted your sexuality... but unless you wanna go on a date, there is NO POINT, especially when you say you "don't like labels."
I'm sorry, but "bi" is a label. Discussing and using terms like LGBT are labels.
I personally don't like labels. We are who we are, and that's it. I get along in my day to day life by being who I am as a person. Do I honestly need to reveal my sexual preference in order for you to know, interact, and get along with me as a person?
