Shining Raichu
Expect me like you expect Jesus.
- 8,959
- Posts
- 13
- Years
- Age 33
- Australia
- Seen Nov 20, 2023
I've just come home an hour or so ago from yet another horrid Saturday night shift at my local liquor store. Saturday nights, in particular, are bad because it is the one night of the week when all the underage kids come out to play with you, to try and get you to sell them alcohol. I've grown a reputation as the ID Nazi, I rule that store with an iron first :P Anyone under 18/21 (depending on where you live), pay attention, because there will be some useful tips here on what will not work:
1.
We'll start with the most obvious. If someone asks you for ID, and you don't have ID because you are not of age, the excuse "Oh, I left it at home" will not make us break down into a mess of sympathy for your situation. Yes, that includes those of you who are not from around here and left your ID hours away.
2.
I do check the date on your card. If you have an ID with a date that says you're under 18/21, showing it to me with utmost confidence in yourself will not fool me into not doing so. Your smokescreens do not work on me.
3.
Turning 18 tomorrow is not the same as being 18. Come back tomorrow. Arguing this point with me will get you nowhere.
4.
Although it is the law in Australia that you are not allowed to get tattoos under the age of 18, lifting up your shirt to show me your tattoos will not get you served. We do not accept tattoos as ID. Though I do thank you for the sexy treat.
5.
Ladies, attempting to flirt with me while wearing tight dresses that cannot contain your cleavage may work on the boys at the club (and by the way, you can all enjoy your STDs and unwanted pregnancies). I, however, am not buying what you're selling. Co-incidentally, you are also not buying what I'm selling. The vodka stays here.
6.
Gentlemen, you needn't grow a beard to make you look older. It doesn't make you look older, it makes you look like a teenager with a beard. In addition, facial hair is ugly and we needn't make this situation any uglier than it needs to be.
7.
A note to parents, and people over 18/21 trying to buy for people under 18/21: I personally don't care if they drink, but do not bring them in with you. I cannot serve you if they are with you. Even if you swear up and down that it is for you and not for them, it makes no difference whatsoever. If you have anyone under 18 with you, I cannot serve you. Now go away and think about what you've done.
Love,
The ID Nazi (or Andrew from Liquorland).
1.
We'll start with the most obvious. If someone asks you for ID, and you don't have ID because you are not of age, the excuse "Oh, I left it at home" will not make us break down into a mess of sympathy for your situation. Yes, that includes those of you who are not from around here and left your ID hours away.
2.
I do check the date on your card. If you have an ID with a date that says you're under 18/21, showing it to me with utmost confidence in yourself will not fool me into not doing so. Your smokescreens do not work on me.
3.
Turning 18 tomorrow is not the same as being 18. Come back tomorrow. Arguing this point with me will get you nowhere.
4.
Although it is the law in Australia that you are not allowed to get tattoos under the age of 18, lifting up your shirt to show me your tattoos will not get you served. We do not accept tattoos as ID. Though I do thank you for the sexy treat.
5.
Ladies, attempting to flirt with me while wearing tight dresses that cannot contain your cleavage may work on the boys at the club (and by the way, you can all enjoy your STDs and unwanted pregnancies). I, however, am not buying what you're selling. Co-incidentally, you are also not buying what I'm selling. The vodka stays here.
6.
Gentlemen, you needn't grow a beard to make you look older. It doesn't make you look older, it makes you look like a teenager with a beard. In addition, facial hair is ugly and we needn't make this situation any uglier than it needs to be.
7.
A note to parents, and people over 18/21 trying to buy for people under 18/21: I personally don't care if they drink, but do not bring them in with you. I cannot serve you if they are with you. Even if you swear up and down that it is for you and not for them, it makes no difference whatsoever. If you have anyone under 18 with you, I cannot serve you. Now go away and think about what you've done.
Love,
The ID Nazi (or Andrew from Liquorland).
