The dating game.

[curiousnathan]

I'm way too shy to get involved in the dating game.

I've been interested in only one girl (I'm kinda picky - not intentionally picky...if you get the gist?), but over time she turned out to be a bit of sour grape. I've never really been in an official relationship, my friends used to give me crap about it all the time lol; others at school would call me a gay (which tbh isn't even a bad thing :P) to even a ****** etc. :p

It's not that I'm not into other people, I just haven't come across anyone I'd really make the effort to go for, you know?

 

[Kanzler]

I'm way too shy to get involved in the dating game.

I've been interested in only one girl (I'm kinda picky - not intentionally picky...if you get the gist?), but over time she turned out to be a bit of sour grape. I've never really been in an official relationship, my friends used to give me crap about it all the time lol; others at school would call me a gay (which tbh isn't even a bad thing :P) to even a ****** etc. :p

It's not that I'm not into other people, I just haven't come across anyone I'd really make the effort to go for, you know?

Have you ever considered having a relationship with a pillow? i have ( 9 TT^TT)9 *sadly shakes maracas*

lol jk im not there yet

What's sour grape mean? I'm super shy (and busy) when it comes to "dating" too. Would I ever approach fine honeys? not in this state noo

Yunno, we should make a foreveralone club. We cry about our boy/girl problems but also encourage each other to get out. Once a club member has a chance of escaping foreveralone we send them off on a fond farewell :')

 

[Sydian]

Yunno, we should make a foreveralone club. We cry about our boy/girl problems but also encourage each other to get out. Once a club member has a chance of escaping foreveralone we send them off on a fond farewell :')

And have a raffle to go on a friend date with me so other girls/guys can look at how awesome we are and they'll be like GOTTA STEAL THAT and they'll think they're stealing you from me but really that was my secret plan to get you a bf/gf and we win the world. This is flawless plan.

 

[Plumpyfoof]

I don't go on very many dates, I usually meet people when I go out and then it escalates from there. I'm not really into the whole dating thing, just keeping everything open and casual is more my style.

 

[kanakinz.]

What dating life lol. Team forever alone~


I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 years old. I'm 20. o_O
I've gone on more than a few dates since then but it never lasts more than 3 dates. It's like the older I get the less compatible I am with every guy that makes my acquaintanceothers. Things always go wrong. Whether I really like them or not.

Lately I've been really whatever about it though, I like not having to entertain someone else.

 

[«Chuckles»]

I have never dated anyone and it's for the better due to my reputation and I don't want to hurt them. I might like someone but I would never really ask them out because as soon as the next big party comes around the corner I end up having to explain some things ask who who is etc.. I've been asked out a few times but nah not worth it I'm to lazy to go anywhere but A) My room or B) the beach and they're all snowflakes.

 

[Honest]

And have a raffle to go on a friend date with me so other girls/guys can look at how awesome we are and they'll be like GOTTA STEAL THAT and they'll think they're stealing you from me but really that was my secret plan to get you a bf/gf and we win the world. This is flawless plan.

Not gonna lie, this cracked me up :'D

 

[gimmepie]

I have, for most of my life thought I've been pretty terrible with women - and really for the most part I am. I'm not confident, I'm not attractive and I get really obsessive and borderline stalkery with people when I fall for them. But then it hit me the other day - somehow despite this I have had six girlfriends throughout my life... and right now there are two (maybe three) girls I know of that are interested in me.

I really have no idea how that happened. Like none.


As for having my eye on someone. Yes, I do.
It's even a mutual attraction - in fact we dated from The end of August to the middle of November last year. Then people stuck their noses in where they don't belong and we were basically blackmailed into breaking up. So, yeah we love each other and quite frankly if there's such a thing as "the one" she's it. We just can't actually date right now because of some terrible circumstances. We have some weird romantic friendship thing going on right now but it's not the same as what we want.

So yup, that's me.
Lucky/Unlucky dude.

 

[Controversial?]

What happened? Tell us the story, what'd you do?

I started getting too attached and got really needy, and I could tell I was starting to get really clingy and she was way less into me than she was; so basically, we kinda stopped the day after we organised our first date. v.v

not very interesting, just ****ed.

 

[Kanzler]

And have a raffle to go on a friend date with me so other girls/guys can look at how awesome we are and they'll be like GOTTA STEAL THAT and they'll think they're stealing you from me but really that was my secret plan to get you a bf/gf and we win the world. This is flawless plan.

I'd totally date you js.

/me runs like the wind from big scary boyfriend

 

[Evanlyn]

I've had one boyfriend, which lasted 6 days, before he decided he thought of me as a friend. So yeah, I was put in the 'friendzone'. I don't have my eye on anyone at the moment. I'm quite happy staying single for a while longer!

 

[Plumpyfoof]

I started getting too attached and got really needy, and I could tell I was starting to get really clingy and she was way less into me than she was; so basically, we kinda stopped the day after we organised our first date. v.v

not very interesting, just ****ed.

Accidentally liked your post rather than quoting it as my intention (sorry 'bout that) I'm not "likeing" your bad fortune by any means.

At least you know where you went wrong for next time.
You should try a more laid back approach (obvs). You're a naturally quiet person I imagine? Use that to your advantage, say little. The less you talk about yourself the more mysterious you appear, of course don't avoid talking about yourself, if she asks about you answer truthfully and genuinely keep a nice give and take leaning towards her giving you more information. Oh and actually listen usually guys don't and that's where they go wrong.
Self confidence is massively attractive, why do you think all the losers and d-bags get all the best looking girls? You don't need to be majorly attractive but if you're confident, relaxed about who you are and emotionally stable you will do far better than you ever thought you would, and your insecurities about dating will disappear after a while and you will no longer actually be needy and clingy.
That means lifestyle changes because I hate to say it, but the problem isn't women. Start with your wardrobe, dress what looks nice, not what's comfortable. Be well groomed. Stand up straight, and F***ing smile! Looking happy makes others happy, fact. Just don't push it, be relaxed and you're on your way.

 

[Controversial?]

Accidentally liked your post rather than quoting it as my intention (sorry 'bout that) I'm not "likeing" your bad fortune by any means.

At least you know where you went wrong for next time.
You should try a more laid back approach (obvs). You're a naturally quiet person I imagine? Use that to your advantage, say little. The less you talk about yourself the more mysterious you appear, of course don't avoid talking about yourself, if she asks about you answer truthfully and genuinely keep a nice give and take leaning towards her giving you more information. Oh and actually listen usually guys don't and that's where they go wrong.
Self confidence is massively attractive, why do you think all the losers and d-bags get all the best looking girls? You don't need to be majorly attractive but if you're confident, relaxed about who you are and emotionally stable you will do far better than you ever thought you would, and your insecurities about dating will disappear after a while and you will no longer actually be needy and clingy.
That means lifestyle changes because I hate to say it, but the problem isn't women. Start with your wardrobe, dress what looks nice, not what's comfortable. Be well groomed. Stand up straight, and F***ing smile! Looking happy makes others happy, fact. Just don't push it, be relaxed and you're on your way.

In fairness, I have mood swings VERY often. I'm liking my bad fortune, it means more songs and it's kinda funny :P

Yeah, the thing is I know exactly what went wrong. What's funny is that she didn't tell me to **** off when I was being clingy, I noticed this and we kind of mutually ended it (even though she still kind of liked me) because I was being quite clingy, it was really weird... plus, she's said she doesn't want a guy to be like all obsessed with her and that. :P

The funny thing is that I might've used to be really quiet, but you couldn't be further from the truth now; at parties and social events, I'm usually the most social person around, going and talking to everyone and everything. The reason most of my things fail is because my brain can't understand subtle social cues which two people who are attracted to each other exhibit, and plus I don't usually get really clingy to a girl, only when I REALLY like them. Usually, I'm the dude who knows everyone and is friendly with everyone, so people never question why I don't get any, they just assume I do. :(

I agree completely with basically all the advice you've given me tbh. :P The thing is that I've done the majority of that already; I've changed my wardrobe out from what it was like when I was 15, I'm more groomed now, I smile a lot (people say I'm a very happy person these days...considering what I can be like when my mood swings hit that's quite weird xD), I actually practised my posture (gayyyyyy I know) and I'm much more self-confident than I was; I used to be the weird kid, now I'm the guy who knows everyone and I'm the lead singer of a band and basically improving as many aspects of my life as I can. The only problem I've got is the relaxing thing; I can't relax when I know I can't really get any, I'm friends with quite a lot of girls but I'm terrible with escalating anything which is why I'm permanently "friend-zoned", even though I think the term is cliché as hell. xD It's fine, though; what I'll probably do is just let it happen when it happens and just stop trying. Got more imporant things to think about now anyways (exams xDD)

tl;dr I agree with everything you're saying, but you have me pinned down as the wrong type of person. :P I just never usually feel so needy for a girl and I often get mood swings, so I come off as pretty pathetic a lot. xD
Thanks anyway though, that post actually reminded me of why I was improving my life like that before I hit that snag :)

 

[Warrior Rapter]

I'm just going to be blunt about it. I tend to think logically and a bit empathetically. I know maths and sciences, so I have some idea of how certain things work, and when it comes to conversation with someone I really like, I don't want to feel like a bore. It's one of the reasons having a common interest or hobby can be important to me, because if I feel like anything I say will just dull out someone (which let's be honest, there aren't too many that feel math and science are interesting, least in my experience), I just don't talk unless talked to.

That being said, when I get attached, I get attached. There was a girl my junior year in highschool who, yes I was attracted to and very shy around. One day, when I was bringing my laptop to work on a personal, RPG Maker 2000 project (which to this day is still unfinished), she took an interest to what I was doing, and we started talking. It was around the end of the year, though. We did call ourselves bf/gf, even though the only time we could see or talk to each other was at school. By the end of the year, she started avoiding me for reasons I didn't know, and the following year, I didn't see her at all. I didn't know what I did, and I missed her.

Fast forward a few years later, during which I continued to miss her, was trying to find her on social networks and anything else I could think of that she could be on. A friend of mine, who I told of the situation, found her, and we started talking again. Turned out that the reason for her avoidance was because she knew she was moving away, and thought it would make it easier for me. Unfortunately, around the time we started talking again, she had already found someone else, not knowing that I hadn't moved on, and later, would have a child with the guy.

Beyond that, and helping various other friends with their relationships... I pretty much have no experience whatsoever.

 

[lozzop]

Uhhh I'm way too awkward to get a real boyfriend or girlfriend (unless they were one of my close friends, because then I might actually be able to talk to them...), but I've only ever had one boyfriend, it was in primary school, and it lasted for about 10 minutes, close as I'll get though XD
But in terms of people who like me and people who me like, I know of some people who have a crush on me (achievement!) but they've usually never even spoken to me before which is slightly weird :/ But obviously, being the teen I am I have accumulated a good few diary entries worth of crushes over the years. Atm, I have a little crush on one of my close friends, which is a bit weird, but we're going into town to buy comic books tomorrow, soooo, you never know I guess :)

 

[Megan]

No, not really. I'm more a passive introvert than anything else. Also I guess I'm not interesting enough.

Never was on a date and probably never will be, especially since I don't live in a city. It's alright, though, because at the moment the only one I'd date is knowledge. It never let's you down and enables you to help others.

On the other side: even if there was a possible way for me to date someone, I'd probably avoid it the best I could, simply because I know myself too well. Nobody should ever stay too long by my side, that wouldn't end well, for the other person at least. ^^

 

[Demon Wolf]

Last time I dated was a waste girl tried to milk me 4 money ugh I agree with blah lets set up forever single club LOL girls in Massachusetts will milk u 4 every penny ya got its horrible

 

[Phantom1]

I have a girlfriend now, but I tend to be in longer relationships. I'm not one for a two week fling or anything like that. If I don't think we will work together in the long run, I'll end it. There's no point in dragging things along and there isn't a chance of a future. Most relationships I have go for at least a year, or half a year, longest was four years. Looking for the one, ya know?

 

[Plumpyfoof]

In fairness, I have mood swings VERY often. I'm liking my bad fortune, it means more songs and it's kinda funny :P

...

tl;dr I agree with everything you're saying, but you have me pinned down as the wrong type of person. :P I just never usually feel so needy for a girl and I often get mood swings, so I come off as pretty pathetic a lot. xD
Thanks anyway though, that post actually reminded me of why I was improving my life like that before I hit that snag :)

I had a 50% chance of getting it right over the internet hahah! :P
It's good that you've already done things I advised, now it becomes just a matter of practising noticing social queues. The escalation thing is easy once you understand the signals, basically if you see an opportunity for escalation take it. Trying to escalate too early will earn you a little bit of extra time to gain her 'trust' back but it's not serious it doesn't take long and it gives you a little more time to get perspective. If you escalate too late however you may have missed your window and it's the friendzone for you.
Try escalating earlier than you normally would. A good tip is to try and develop a connection the first time meeting someone simply by flirting hard as soon as possible, then take the window to kiss her as soon as it appears. Remember to take note of how she responds to different phrases she may be looking for a genuine conversation instead.

 

[Fernbutter]

Well personally I had dated everyone in class, not because I wanted to though, mostly because I am too good of a person to say no to them and I also got free food but keep in mind it was mostly their choice. I wasn't playing anyone, while most took me out to have some fun, watch a movie, play some sports, some I really wanted to get to know better. I just wish that girls were a little less confusing because c'mon, really? I know some aren't that confusing, then there are those kind of girls like "We are not confusing!" Well then where are all these non-confusing girls then? Huh? I mean women understand women, and they hate each other.

Guys on the other hand, I mean some are sweet n' romantic an all, but still very uhh... rough? Sidenote: For those guys out there who are all like "Why doesn't anyone date me?!" there is probably a good reason why, or you aren't trying hard enough. Or you might just be ugly.
Guys could just be a little more charming and maybe caring? BUT I know not all are so bad, some can be pretty nice.

What is dating for me? Confusing.