Born from an egg on a mountaintop in 1871, I was orphaned into the care of Masai warriors in Tanzania, learning the arts of tracking, hunting and shamanism. I also developed the superhuman endurance for which the Masai are renowned, which proved incredibly useful when, at the age of eight I was adopted by the visiting 'celebrity' Kim Kardashian and was subsequently relocated to a household full of Ken Done prints and Jive Bunny CDs. As a result of my unfortunate adoption, I rapidly developed a deep, intuitive understanding of mediocrity, it's motivation, institutions and behaviours. After taking nineteen years to complete my Veterinary Degree, I relocated to Padova to study art history, where I developed my twin passions of 17th century European architecture and 18th century European architecture.
After completing my art history degree I skied on mountains all across the world, in an attempt to find my real egg-laying mother who so coldly abandoned me. During my trips I had to routinely reject my father's requests to manage the family's various business interests while I sought to bed as many beautiful men and women as time permitted. I now rent an apartment in Antarctica (That I do not intend to buy) with my defacto partner (Who I do not intend to marry) and my great dane, Heidegger (Which I do not intend to have children with). I am a semi-professional UNO player and deserve to have my bread buttered, no matter which side it is on.
History, ROM Hacking and yes
Jan 7, 1993
- Male ♂
- Favorite Pokémon
- Scizor, Mewtwo, the Porygon family and Kabuto.
- GO Team
- Do not display