From your blog you sound like you're having some kind of mid-teen-crisis or something. Believe you me, I get that a lot from time to time.
Symptoms include: feeling existential/philosophical, losing the will for creative processes (i.e. stuff that isn't mandatory), not being interested in what you normally are, and generally feeling that you're nott utilising your time properly.
At least, that's the feeling I get from time to time.
On another note, I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time now, but what ever happened to Hector/Citrinin?