Angelina Jolie???????? Hey, I don't know if it's you or me or
heck everyone here who has issues...
Back to subject...
valentine said:
solovino said:
some solution
Excellent, excellent! That's why I love
slave labour collaborative creation!
Buoysel who is my Beta Reader has advises me to practice my commas so of course that is one of the parts I'm checking next, I just wanted to post the unedited version (two compiled excerpts from my failure at a 7K7D) to check that the characterization was going the right way.
For the whole "description of human" part, I'm planning to split it into three parts: the first is the corrected version of the first spoiler, the other two handle behaviour and I'm going to mix'em with the reaction from the other Pokémon The whole "dress/undress" thing feels awkward to describe, but I could not think of a more mundane (to the reader) yet at the same time unexpected (for a Pokémon) line of action that I could tap into. I can't do outdoors action, because being a fossil Pokémon in its first days it'd rather be kept in a controlled environment.
With regards to your question on the fossil canon, it's one of the points where the myth comes to affect. At least, that's how it is planned to be.
I'm sticking with reconstruction based on a well-preserved DNA sample because it allows me to exact the sense of "fossil" that I want. No "Lazarus Command", no Max Revive, no Insert Coin. Just a clone/adapt kind of process. Of course, up to eleven.
I'm taking on the concept that, if the DNA sample was so complete as to retain information about the biology of the subject, it should also have stored basic instinctive information, as well as a sort of genetic memory, maybe a natural sense of "relative correctness" of the things the Pokémon can feel, for example: given its natural environment, things such as metals, glass or flying may feel oddly placed, or even "incorrect" to it.
This will lead the fossil Pokémon to acquire the sensation that something is "wrong" with its existence after a short time. From instinctive information to "flashes" of the mind is just a step which is brought via the myth: clone or not, it still has a soul, and the soul comes with a list of Things To Be Done, to put it somehow.
I guess that whole bit of information above is better implied than explained, so I'm looking for a way to have the "unnaturalness sense" described, as I can't have the human scientistss explaining the mumbo-jumbo. So I've thought to put it in more natural words by having someone else explain directly to him.
I'll have a "higher force" attempt to make the reconstructed Pokémon aware of the pact between Pokémon and humans, thus putting the Myth into motion. The higher force essentially pays a visit and lands a crash course on why the fossils are fossils and why humans came next (I'd say there's no one more appropiate to teach, as a fossil-reconstructed Pokémon has no parents or relatives, and the species being extinct the individual can not have a sense of their history unless it is described to him by someone who knows).
Now, I personally
dislike havung Legendaries in my work, except for reference, because of the "they are busy taking care of the Universe" approach, but this time I'm making an exception as I feel it is one of these cases it is justified a Legendary may want to interfere in human affairs. Humans have managed to go something funny after playing with Godlike powers after all. I'm taking note that I haven't even begun writing that part and I feel like I'm going to regret it and feel dirty. So maybe I'll post that next time and you people can help me.
Oh, yeah, if I go this way that means I must describe the crash course. I'd rather take a "lecture" approach if that concept really works with what I'm trying to demonstrate - the reverence of the fossil Pokémon towards the visiting "deity". Then some contemplation, maybe some action, and the final claim, moral of the story, aesop or whatever that better finishes the story.
With regards to the writing itself, the major work is, as you pointed out, to recheck my weaknesses and do more progress on the work. Some details went and slipped past me somehow, such as the "unclawed fingers" thing which I guess is the result of the same misfocused attention that caused my "person as a body" impasse the first time I published here. It happens some times and is one of the main issues I need to work upon to evolve to a simpler, more obvious writing structure.
I have had some trouble looking for the most
natural terms to use by the fossil Pokémon, so I'm waiting to check the fingers thing until I have written the
whole description of the human, faulty as it will be - that way maybe completing a new part gives me the inspiration or the extra information to use better terms and will be better able to decide what goes in and what does not. I see now that I missed the nose, yet it doesn't seem like I'll need it, for example.
Hey, look at that, a Wall-o-Text... Aurincha is gonna kill me.
I'm always looking for people who can recheck my work and give me pointers.
And I'm not afraid to Wall-o-Text excerpts and opinions and to poke veterans and mods if I can help (I try and refrain BTW :D ) -- Viva la mè!
Yeah, I like this place because posting my ideas here somehow adds to me
+3 Mood EVs. There, I said it, so what?
Oh and thanks again for taking the time.