Thread: [Pokémon] Champion Game [M]
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Old April 25th, 2011 (6:52 PM).
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Astinus Astinus is offline
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut, USA
Age: 30
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Posts: 9,918
Cliffhanger! *fistshake* Oh, you are a master of those with this fic, aren't you? You tease us so and leave us hanging.

Having Roxanne meet Ren and Tasha at the station was a nice touch. It made the conversation that happened seem more likely to happen, since the characters knew one another from before.

Wonder about the sudden change in Natasha's and Roxanne's mood at the Devon Corporation was about.

Noticed that

“You're twelve years old now, but you still act like a little kid!Would it kill you to grow up just a little bit?”
You missed the spacing between sentences here.

Your cliffhanger has me waiting for the next chapter so we can finally see what all this is about. And did I hear "G-G-G-Genre shift"?

Now nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody speaks my name
I'm just another blister in the mouth of shame
A bug in Ender's Game

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