My SO proposed to me on Tuesday.
I'm hopefully getting married this year.
Holy crap I'm getting married this year.
On Tuesday we headed back to our hometown for a meet-up with some old friends from Highschool. We went to one of the local pubs and sat in the beer garden while having some drinks.
I'll spare you the details but she proposed to me on the same spot where we had our first kiss, and at the exact same time, in-front of some of our oldest friends.
I said yes, and cried a lot.
Holy crap that's amazing! Congrats to you!!
I'm not sure how I've not joined this yet. Sign me up.
Welcome to the fun club!
Okay, I am in need of some advice over some issues at hand here.
First off I will re-introduce myself to give a taste of the situation at hand: I am a male to female transsexual who is not very far in transition at all. I'm only three months into HRT I've done some voice work (I still sound like a guy though.) I am still very boyish in my looks, and I'm still pretty gender-neutral in the ways of dressing.
My therapist suggests the time has come for me to make some friends around here for once, and so, wants me to go to this LGBT center during its drop-in hours and try to meet (and hopefully befriend) some fellow MTFs. If not this, try to go to a support group for those in my age range. While to some people this might seem like no big deal, I have some things about me that make it a huge issue:
• I have been a social recluse for over seven years, so as a result, I don't know how to start conversations with people about almost anything. I am almost always a skittish disaster when I try to talk to people (aside from work and other obligations.) I made absolutely no friends in high school, and only made a few middle school acquaintances who I don't keep in contact with anymore. I seriously only have one friend in person that I only get to see rarely, and we seldom discuss my problems.
• I'm very scared to open up to most people because I'm worried of the possibility of leaving disastrous trail behind me. When I do open up to someone, however, it is an extremely slow process and I tend to shy away from everyone who tries to start a conversation with me. It's interesting since I like having fewer, yet closer friendships. I understand that the biggest thing about me (being trans) is not that much of a big deal in a situation like this, but the anxiety still follows me. Plus, there are a bunch of other quantities of me I only share with my boyfriend because of how high-tension silence inducing they can be, so I guess that's a thing (I have had on and off phases of misanthropy and nihilism in my early teen years.)
Even with all this mind, I really want to go, but…the problem is that I'm very scared. I've told her (my therapist) about this, but I've been told that transitioning may be far more difficult if I don't at least try. It's the unknown to me, which I think is the scariest part about it.
So…what the hell do I do? Do I try overcome my fears and try to be friends with some people, or do I sit here and wait for things to come to me? I know I want to do the former, but for the love of god I don't have any idea how!