reposted here!!
man going through a breakup really sucks.
...
bottom line is, are any of you going through the same thing? (or perhaps even something remotely similar to this) but if you aren't, what kind of advice can you offer to those who are... well, unwilling to let go of the past? (aka me T___________T)
I have some advice for you if you'd like to hear it.
So this kind of thing sucks. And it will continue to suck for at least a few months.
Everyone goes through some kind of "mourning period" after a breakup, this is what you're going through now, it's totally normal to go through every "what if" scenario in your head and then hate yourself for doing (or not doing) something regrettable.
This is always the worst part, and you may be right in that your ex is going through the same thing although usually they are not and this is probably hard to hear and wrap your head around but you need to understand why the relationship failed, in order to grow from the experience and ultimately not make the same mistakes.
You can use the fact that they aren't mourning the same as you to your advantage, put up your walls, block them out, you need them less than they do and you should prove it to them and to yourself.
The easiest way to do this is to get them out of your mind, hang out with friends. Even if you don't want to go out just being in a social environment like having dinner at a restaurant will lift your mood and distract you.
The cool thing is, the more you do this, the quicker it goes away and it hurts less. And on top of that if your ex sees you out having fun they're going to feel like they made a mistake, and they did. Whatever you do spend more time with good people. You may just become acquainted with your next love affair.
I'll finish on a bit of a downer, but this is important too. Never EVER revive a dead romance. On again off again relationships never end well. Unless you have both matured and fixed your faults you're going to have a bad time over and over.
Good luck, and make yourself available. ;)