What should I do? Needing honest, serious advice
How it all started
So, I found myself in a situation I didn't see coming. I'll explain it:
- I've known this girl since I was really young, 9 or 10 years old at the time I think, she was around 7 back then.
Back then we had that stupid kids' thing in which we were "boyfriend and girlfriend", but it only lasted for a few days, I know it's kind of ridiculous but I guess kids go though that.
- Like 2 years ago I saw her again and I immediatly recognized her, her face looked just the same. Needless to say she is really pretty. We chatted for a bit and went on with our lives.
What happened recently
I am currently 19, freshman in college.
A few months ago I saw her again. I was at an event from my college and I saw her there with a girl I also knew.
Apparently she had friends in my college (people I actually know and enjoy) and told me she would go there to study sometimes. I had never seen her there before, since she usually went in the afternoon and I have lessons in the morning.
We talked there, for a while, until eventually she had to leave. Her friend had her car nearby so I asked her if she could give me a ride to my own car, since it was on the way, and she did (I realized
she was only 16 by now).
In the car we talked for a while more, me, her and her friend (who I also hadn't seen in years).
They dropped me by my car and I drove home. I couldn't help but notice once more how pretty she was.
A few hours later/ the next day, they both added me on facebook.
She came to talk to me there, apologizing for a bad joke she said. I said it was fine, it wasn't even insulting or anything lol
It felt more like she wanted to talked to me. Eventually we exchanged numbers and talked a bit, not for very long tho.
First time we went out
A few days later we decided to go grab a cup of coffee together and chat.
It went fine, we talked about a whole lot of stuff then we both left.
We didn't talk for a while, until she texted me. She said she had something to tell me but couldn't remember it (once again I feel like maybe she just wanted to talk to me).
We talked for a while until we both went to sleep.
Then we were about a week without talking. It was my fault there, she told me: "When you want, text me and we can talk again or do something". I said I would, however I had alot of stuff from college in my hands and time went by without me hardly noticing.
Second time we went out
When I noticed so many days had passed, I texted her again. The semester was also ending.
We decided to go grab some coffee again. This time we talked even more, about alot of stuff until I drove her home.
She has always been really nice and I can tell she is a little shy around me.
Third time we went out
We exchanged some more texts, she was talking to me about a movie she had seen and we once more thought of going out together, so we did.
I took her to a park nearby, unfortunately it was almost closing time so we didn't stay there long. We went by a windmill (they have 2 in the park) and watched the view for a while (it's on a hill, so you can see a huge chunk of the city, the river and the sunset. It was pleasent, and I was starting to enjoy her company.
When the park closed we went to a Starbucks nearby, she told me they had a great hot chocolate there and insisted I would try it. We talked there for a long time, hours. Then I drove her home afterwards.
Fourth time we went out
We went out the next day again. She had a coke, I had some coffee and once more talked for a long time. I felt closer to her, and somehow she kept getting prettier everyday.
I started to love the way she smiles, and small traits and actions she does that are unique to her. I could watch her for hours.. I started feeling the desire to kiss her. I didn't want to do it and ruin things or make them awkward but the thought was constantly in my head.
When we were leaving we sat in my car for a while. She put some music and we kept talking, listening to her songs (which I admit were never much my type). I eventually drove her home once more and that was it.
We didn't see eachother for a few days, even tho we exchanged some texts, and by then I thought about her and kissing her nearly all the time.
Until finally, we decided to go out one day after dinner.
Fifth time we went out
I decided to take her to Starbucks once more. I knew she loved the hot chocolate so I went there with her and bought her one. We stood there for like an hour until it was almost closing time, then we left.
We went to my car and once more she put some music and we talked there for a while. Eventually we decided to go by the river. We sat there for hours, watching the river, talking about stuff, laughing.
When I noticed it was already 2 am. At a point, she said her hands were freezing so I held her hand with mine and put them both in my pocket jacket for a while. Time went on. 4am. It was getting late and I could tell she was getting sleepy and we were both running short on things to talk about, so I drove her home.
I had been wanting to kiss her all night, I had thought alot about it and I knew deep down that maybe I shouldn't but I couldn't help it.
When she was going to get out of the car I pulled her towards me and just kissed her. The moment seemed to drag itself for so long.. until we stopped. She immediatly "jumped" out of the car and said in a shaky voice: "See you tomorrow".
I drove home without knowing what to think.
Sixth time we went out
Next day, we didn't see eachother. She eventually texted me saying "Hi" and we talked normally through the day.
However, the following day, we went out at night once more.
Everything went normally, I was so nervous. She looked beautiful, I wanted to kiss her more, I wanted to hold her, I wanted to look at her.. By now I was realizing the unfortunate truth, I was becoming infatuated.
We were sitting in hour car for a while when I decided I couldn't help it anymore. I leaned in and kissed her again, for a while, until she stopped. She seemed troubled. I told her to talk..
She said she didn't know where I was going with what happened, but she told me it wouldn't work. She asked me not to fall in love with her because she knew she would hurt me. She said she wasn't the right girl for that.
I had to lie.
I told her I wouldn't, that she didn't need to be worried about that. She dropped a hint that she wanted to kiss me aswell tho.. Eventually I drove her home.
We were in my car sitting and she wouldn't leave. I wondered if I should kiss her once more because it really felt like she was waiting for me to..
I did. I kissed her, held the back of her neck with my hand and for the first time she held mine.
We kissed for a while until we both stopped. She said "Goodnight, see you later" and left. I could tell she was shy.
Right Now
We exchanged some texts meanwhile. I didn't know what to think. She eventually admitted she longed to kiss me and if she didn't want to she wouldn't have kissed me back. She also said in a text she always hurt the ones who love her.
It confused me. Since then we hardly talked. She hasn't texted me, I did once to ask her out and she said she couldn't so I said it was ok, and maybe the next day or in a few days.
She agreed but she hasn't said anything since then. Neither did I.. I don't want to chase her and pull her away without meaning, but I don't want to lose her either.
I know she's interested in me, in the worst case scenario. But she seems to have pulled back.. What do I do?
I can't stop thinking about her. Every single day, it kills me not to see her, touch her, not even talk to her. I'm letting my pride and fear or chasing/being stubborn take the best of me, but it's killing me.
The songs we listened together are constantly in my head, I listen to them all the time, I even like them now. They remind me of her.
I didn't want any of this at first. I didn't want to like her. Now I can't stop thinking about how beautiful she is, how much I miss her smile, her small gestures unique to her. I feel ridiculous.
She's only 16. I knew from the start she was too young for me. I never thought this would happen.
What do I do?
Thank you so much if you read all this, I feel lost
Hey guys, so I'd like to seek some more advice here.
What's the best way to cope with being physically ugly? Let's make no mistake here; I AM ugly. There is no questioning that. Trust me. What I'm looking for here is the best way to cope with being this way, to cope with being physically unappealing in the midst of the beautiful women who surround me everyday.
Since I hope someone answers my own question, I will answer yours! (it's only fair).
I do not know how "Ugly" do you are/think you are. But despite that, I think I can help you out:
. One very important thing is: Find a hairstyle that suits you. One that looks great on you.
. Wear fashionable clothes, that make you look tall and maybe more muscular. The sort of clothes may vary with age.
. If you are not very muscular, try to! Believe me when I say, a good body is very important. I always say to myself: If I don't feel confortable naked, I have to work harder. I've seen alot of guys who, believe me, were REALLY ugly with pretty girls because they have muscular defined bodies.
. Be nice. I don't know you, but always be nice (not too nice tho), have manners, respect others. And be you.
. Be confident. This may even be on top of all others. It's so important to be confident, to believe in yourself and how awesome you are. Don't be cocky, but confident.
. Do things you like. When you are "independant" and do things you enjoy, girls tend to look at you more often. Stop seeking them out, let them seek you.
I can't think of more things off the top of my head, but there you go!
Trust me, beauty is only a percentage in the game of love and never forget: it's also in the eye of the beholder.
