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  #1    
Old March 9th, 2009 (5:24 PM).
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Feathing Feathing is offline
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    Well, I wrote this poem in a winter and melancholic night.
    I hope you like it.

    I checked it thousands of times and I think it has no grammar errors. But if there's some, let me know please so I can improve my english.
    I know it has no rhyme, but I like that way..
    Farewell!




    My desires go beyond the Moon.
    My desires reach Sun into darkness.
    And within every whisper, every meeting,
    every thought and every sight,
    I desire you.

    I walked under the cover of stars,
    enchanted by night, and I only desired your hand.
    I came from the beautiful dawn,
    and my thoughts went to you
    like the river goes always to the sea.

    My darling... I aim you from the moment
    I wished for my very happiness.

    At this moment, alone.
    Look through my window and see
    indigo sky, shining moon and winter fire;
    I couldn’t ask for anything else, but I do:
    I desire you.

    Oh my darling... My heart won’t be completed
    until you come to me.
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      #2    
    Old March 14th, 2009 (4:09 AM).
    deliriouspurple's Avatar
    deliriouspurple deliriouspurple is offline
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    I like your work, it's quite good and nice....
    Keep up the good work^^
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      #3    
    Old March 14th, 2009 (4:52 AM).
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    Megaera Megaera is offline
    stop calling me d:
       
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      well nice work you got there!
      I liked it even though it not rhymes but good job!
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        #4    
      Old April 3rd, 2009 (2:35 AM).
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      ShadowLeader ShadowLeader is offline
      because shadows follow...
         
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        wow.....is all i can say...well written....love the imagery.....and the feel of it....u have talent...dont waste it.....try it out at poetry.com.....btw who is this person of which u speak?.....it has to be someone special to inspire such a brilliant and beautiful poem..
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          #5    
        Old April 3rd, 2009 (7:15 AM).
        Feathing's Avatar
        Feathing Feathing is offline
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by ShadowLeader View Post
          wow.....is all i can say...well written....love the imagery.....and the feel of it....u have talent...dont waste it.....try it out at poetry.com.....btw who is this person of which u speak?.....it has to be someone special to inspire such a brilliant and beautiful poem..

          Thanks a lot! You may not believe it, but I wrote this poem to no one in particular... I mean, I have written poems to some persons, but this one.. I wrote it thinking on an ideal, a dream... I think everyone has a ideal love... And I was thinking on it (although I don't know her yet XD) while I was writing...

          Weird, I know XD But thanks!
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          Non-Pokemon Writings:
          I Desire..
          Blue and Green
          Title-less

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          Green Everlasting (OneShot)
          My First Fic: The Rivalry






          ..:: The Poetry does not belong to its creator, but the one who needs it ::..
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            #6    
          Old April 3rd, 2009 (2:18 PM).
          ShadowLeader's Avatar
          ShadowLeader ShadowLeader is offline
          because shadows follow...
             
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            man just keep on dreamin!!! i hope that u meet that someone someday....honestly the way u depict her I'D like to meet her!
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              #7    
            Old April 3rd, 2009 (2:22 PM).
            wee187's Avatar
            wee187 wee187 is offline
            Beat 358/2 Days on 10/5/09
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            That was really well-written. Nice job, I could definitely get the emotion out of it.
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              #8    
            Old April 3rd, 2009 (10:14 PM).
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            BHwolfgang BHwolfgang is offline
            kamikorosu
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            So, you're writing about your dream girl? That one girl that you always want?

            Hmm... it is well-written. You keep dreaming big, k? I'm sure that a girl would be attracted to this. ^^
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              #9    
            Old April 4th, 2009 (9:33 AM).
            Feathing's Avatar
            Feathing Feathing is offline
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              By reading your comments I realized it may be seen as I'm so lonely and desperate to find a girl XD XD But yeah, I always keep on dreaming, and thanks for the reviews! I'll post other poems later! :D
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              Non-Pokemon Writings:
              I Desire..
              Blue and Green
              Title-less

              Pokemon Writings:
              Green Everlasting (OneShot)
              My First Fic: The Rivalry






              ..:: The Poetry does not belong to its creator, but the one who needs it ::..
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                #10    
              Old April 4th, 2009 (2:00 PM).
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              ShadowLeader ShadowLeader is offline
              because shadows follow...
                 
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                yeah thanks for the good poem i look forward to reading ur other works!!.......oh an ps...i nvr thought that u were despret and lonely.....more like weird guy in the corner apartment who u hardley ever see.....lol...jp....but no serious ly nvr saw u as lonely...sounded more like recently broken up....
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