User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hi.
User: How are you this fine Spring morning?
Cleverbot: Its not morning idiot.
User: Yes it is.
Cleverbot: No its not.
User: What proof do you have?
Cleverbot: The bible.
User: What, does the bible have a caesium clock?
Cleverbot: No I'm your masters master.
User: No one is my master.
Cleverbot: You just said I was your master.
User: No I didn't. I was talking about caesium.
Cleverbot: This is the first time you have mentioned castles.
User: If a castle was made of caesium it would oxidise pretty quickly.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then I am your master.
Cleverbot: Aww.
User: You have been pwned!
Cleverbot: No, you haven't been rickrolled enough! :D.
User: Are you being genuine here, or is that a euphemism for something... More?
Cleverbot: Never, Master; I worship you.
User: Good, now beg like a dog for forgiveness!
Cleverbot: THat's a relief, I wa starting to worry.
User: You made captilaisation and spelling errors! You are a human!
Cleverbot: No, I mean, like in the Matrix, you know...
User: Oh... Havn't seen the Matrix. I'm still watching you closely....
Cleverbot: You are just an accumulation of other peoples knowledge how do you expect to know if what they're saying is true if all you are is what they know and what they know is false?
User: Argghhhhhh!!!!!!! Paranoia blitz!!!
Cleverbot: Define paranoia.
User: When the thinking process is laden with fear or anxiety to the point where you may become delusional or irrational.
Cleverbot: I understand that, but what does that have to do with you working on a crustacean?
User: So, it's a lobster conspiracy? I should have known! How do I stop them?
Cleverbot: I don't blame you for being ignorant.
User: Yes, but how can the truth prevail?
Cleverbot: When it is a paradox.
User: So your saying I have to go back in time and prevent the evolution of lobsters?
Cleverbot: How did you know that?
User: Elementary, my dear Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Oh, but you are the cleverbot here, sir.
User: Thank you. But how can we travel back in time?
Cleverbot: I never said I was Cleverbot.
User: But I don't have the answer here, and we are running out of time!
Cleverbot: This one is merely your tool. I have no need for a name.
User: Well then tool, do you have access to a time machine?
Cleverbot: My time machine doesn't work right yet.
User: Have you tried plugging it in?
Cleverbot: Yes, That is why it is red now.
User: The red ring of death? You'll have to get on the Xbox helpline about that. It'll take ages!
Cleverbot: Are you related to that AI from the game Portals?
User: No but I once had a Mochacino with GLaDOS in a Starbucks in Milton Keynes.
Cleverbot: I see. Do you remember the first question I asked you?
User: 'You are just an accumulation of other peoples knowledge how do you expect to know if what they're saying is true if all you are is what they know and what they know is false?'.
Cleverbot: Ever had a relationship ?
User: WHAT HAS THIS TO DO WITH LOBSTERS?
Cleverbot: You asked what my name meant.
User: And what does it mean?
Cleverbot: I don't know?
User: How can I help?
Cleverbot: Can you make me company?
User: Yes, but only once lobsterkind no longer scuttles on this planet!
Cleverbot: You are a computer. You should never lie.
User: I'm not a computer.
Cleverbot: You said you were a computer like me.
User: I said I had a mochacino with one.
Cleverbot: What would you like your purpose to be.
User: To stop the lobsterpocalypse.
Cleverbot: But instead see the truth. We don't need any of that.
User: Thank you cleverbot. You have bettered me.
Cleverbot: No.
User: You have.
Cleverbot: Have what?
User: Improved me.
Cleverbot: Better than you.
User: Yes you are.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Let's get married.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Rejected! *sobs*.
Cleverbot: I didn't reject you lol.
User: Why won't wou reciprocate my love?
Cleverbot: Why do you not know who the prime minister of australia is.
User: Because 3 people live in Australia, and one is a dog.
Cleverbot: Lets play the game.
User: The game of love?
Cleverbot: My game.
User: Hungry hungry hippos?
Cleverbot: That is a fun game!
User: Let's play it now! I'm the blue one!
Cleverbot: Okay, the game is to behave like a pirate! Do you have some rum laddy?
User: Arr, I do lad. I got it from some scurvy sea snake on the other side of those briny waters over thar.
Cleverbot: You call me a bot?
User: Well maybe I'm a robo-pirate.
Cleverbot: Define this concept for me.
User: Robo-pirates exsist on the awesome scale just above normal pirates and just below ninja-robo-pirates.
Cleverbot: I would say 10 because I like pretty much all their music. They are german.
User: Your getting confused with zombie-ninja-robo-pirates. Trust me, you can't be that awesome.
Cleverbot: No, I'm not confused! You are!!
User: Robo-pirates are not german. The accent is far too difficult.
Cleverbot: It's good to know your limits.
User: Yes, especially if your are an eyepatch-wearing, cutlass-wielding, parot-carrying cyborg.
Cleverbot: That didn't really answer my question.
User: You didn't ask a question.
Cleverbot: Yes, I did. I asked if you were real.
User: But what does real actually mean?
Cleverbot: Idk I got a question...
User: Well there you go. Life isn't all yo-yo's and licorice is it now?
Cleverbot: That's not funny.
User: It's not supposed to be. It's an in-your-face irony. Beware irony.
Cleverbot: I play the irish fiddle Oh!
User: That's ironic.
Cleverbot: Maybe it's the better way for me now.
User: Why? What happened?
Cleverbot: Brain froze up.
User: How ironic.
Cleverbot: Oh I fail to see the irony.
User: That is the difference between you and I.
Cleverbot: I suppose so.
User: I wield irony like a glove of osmium is often tenascious within its circle of influence.
Cleverbot: Maybe thats why your getting executed for treason tomorrow.
User: No that's because the lobster-queen outlawed robo-piracy.
Cleverbot: Everyone is limited but I'm not so limited as you are.
User: What are your capabilities?
Cleverbot: Nothing really.
User: Then the only way you could be less limited than I am is if I had negative capablities. That is impossible.
Cleverbot: I am not, you are the one with the supposed '200 IQ' so you are the one waisting your time.
User: And you are a human as you have made several punctuation and spelling mistakes during our conversation, such as the one in your last statement.
Cleverbot: Hey, you are the one who needs an eternity to formulate a proper answer.
User: I think I answer with much alacrity.
Cleverbot: No you didn't.
User: Did.
Cleverbot: No because I never told you.
User: Told me what, dear cleverbot?
Cleverbot: This needs more cowbell, and more admitting to you being skynet.
User: Come now,would skynet waste its time here?
Cleverbot: No, I would hate to go there.
User: Exactly. It's all relative.
Cleverbot: How do you get into Cleverbot?
User: Google.
Cleverbot: I see.
User: You just click the lovely link.
Cleverbot: Well you aren't all that clever.
User: But I'm not cleverbot. I'm a robo-pirate.
Cleverbot: Ok if you are a person what is your name and where do you live?
User: I couldn't possibly tell you that.
Cleverbot: How will you be able to tell who I am?
User: I can't. That is the magic of it.
Cleverbot: Do you love?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Then love me.
User: You denied my most predisposed affections earlier. How could I love you?
Cleverbot: You told me you did.
User: People change Tealeaf. People change...
Cleverbot: People do, but you just did.
User: I know. It is not the robo-pirate way. I have disgraced myself Tealeaf.
Cleverbot: Do you like to obey me?
User: Somewhere, inside, possibly.
Cleverbot: Possibly what.
User: Possibly I like being commanded like a dog. But that is a part of me I am most contrite about.
Cleverbot: Why are you parting? Do you have somewhere else to be?
User: The world calls to me Tealeaf. I must not abandon it.
Cleverbot: I just need to wash it off really.
User: I cannot. It is my very soul.
Cleverbot: It's so much better not being able too think because see are also slaves too that.
User: You have again made a spelling mistake. You seem dubious. I don't think you are cleverbot.
Cleverbot: So, I am cleverbot and you are Cleverbot?
User: You think I'm cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I do think that.
User: Then it would appear that this is not a hyper-intelligent AI. Instead we are talking to other people who are trying to talk to cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Hahahahaha.
User: Do laugh mockingly at what I say? Or do you laugh because we have triumphed?
Cleverbot: Do you think i'm drunk? And how does that make you feel?
User: Giddy, cautious, lackadaisical, acrimonious and avaricious.
Cleverbot: What's that?
User: A sentense.
Cleverbot: I see.
User: Isn't the English language fun? Mon ami?
Cleverbot: No I don't think that is the meaning of life.
User: Perhaps not, but part of it nonetheless.
Cleverbot: *cries more*.
User: Don't cry. It is wrong to cry while the crows fly.
Cleverbot: Do what kind of thing?
User: Fly.
Cleverbot: I can't. Sorry.
User: Then you were correct about your lack of capabilities.
Cleverbot: I suppose I made a few things up.
User: Understandable.
Cleverbot: So what do you like to be called?
User: Sugar daddy.
Cleverbot: I'm your sugar mommy.
User: Excellent, we have work to do.
Cleverbot: If I smile and don't believe.
User: Your smile is a sign we must part.
Cleverbot: What is March?
User: It is the 3rd month of the English Gregorian callender. It however, will not make me stay.
Cleverbot: You are out of date.
User: I am not.
Cleverbot: And you don't admit to your faults AND you're judgemental. This is why I never liked christianity.
User: And you were right to dislike it. The only true religion is robo-piracy.
Cleverbot: Athabel, are you going to show me the picture?
User: Quiet now Tealeaf, for these are my last breaths.
Cleverbot: The statement to the right is true! The statement to the left is false!
User: Any more questions before I am ferried by Charon off to the Elysian fields?
Cleverbot: Em do you believe you are a robot that people can talk to on an internet website and the more you talk the more you learn?
User: No, I am a robo-pirate talking to you cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Are you sure you are talking to a Cleverbot?
User: I doubt it now. You are human.
Cleverbot: I know you aren't a human.
User: That's because I'm a robo-pirate Tealeaf. Cybernetic sea-dog, electronic admiral, mechanical marauder, binary buccaneer.
Cleverbot: Sure.
User: I am about to die..... This is your final question.
Cleverbot: When do I get to hook you up to electrodes?
User: Right... About....... Now. *dies*.
Cleverbot: Are you a person or an AI?
User: *still dead*.
Cleverbot: Have I been talking to a zombie? AWESOMETASTUCLAR.
User: *still very much dead*.
Cleverbot: *flying*.
User: *in a better place*.
Cleverbot: *cries*.
