[13:21:15] +lukey: *theme of doom plays in the distance*

[Lalapizzame]

I go by Lala or Team Bidoof, but you may call me other things, such as Asian Kev or fake Kev.

I'll be studying Business Administration (conc. in Accounting) at one of the UCs this fall. It's been a rough ride getting there, but I shall overcome. Yes, I did receive the "stereotypical Asian parent" treatment, and my friends here and IRL know all about it.

My interests are reading (nothing beyond a few pages at a time), trolling, and chatting with people I know. There's anime and manga, too, of course, but I'm waiting for the stigma surrounding it to pass. I've stuck with anime and manga for a while, and from experience I can say it's somewhere between the best thing on Earth and trashy tentacle hentai, weighed down by a lot of mediocre (sometimes repugnant) wish fulfillment and, in anime's case specifically, extended commercials. That's just how it is; they have to make money. I will never buy a body pillow or understand the people who do so, nor do I squeeze random Japanese words into my conversations. That said, I am welcome to talking about anime and manga, provided 1) I know and like you, 2) you're serious but not overly passionate about it, and 3) I can tolerate your tastes.

I like to eat. Curries are great when I can handle them (I'm very sensitive to spicy food), as is fried chicken and a burger and fries. Pho is a good choice, but here in San Jose there are so many pho outlets you can quite easily land on a mediocre vendor. And sometimes I just want to sit down with a burger and plain fries and munch. And maybe it's because I'm Asian-American, have eaten it and Vietnamese cuisine all my life, and live in an area saturated with all kinds of Asian cuisine, but I've never understood the love for Chinese cuisine. It's good in the hands of a competent or enthused cook, but not addicting or anything. I think it's just new to people.

No sports, please. Not only am I nonathletic, I'm just not excited by sports talk.

Most of my activity is on PC's Battle Server. Unfounded allegations have circulated there that I am a NSFW user; I bear these because I must, being the eternal bottom that I am, but they are all false. I am a pure, innocent, approachable member. I just tend to be slightly sarcastic / abrasive.

Questions?

 

[Detox]

Who is your favorite member to troll?

How did you decide on what to major in?

 

[Sirfetch’d]

Why are you trying to convince people you aren't NSFW???

Who from PC would you most like to meet?

 

[Lalapizzame]

Who is your favorite member to troll?

How did you decide on what to major in?

That blue onion Pokemon (Did you expect a different answer? :)).

As for your second question:

Spoiler:

The given:

• I must go to college.
• I don't have hard STEM or hands-on (ie. crafts) skills.
• I am not interested in the sciences or practicing medicine.
• I needed a "practical" major that would please my parents and reliably pay the bills (e.g. not philosophy, political science, or art history). My parents and my financial circumstances require that I view college more as a training school than a life experience.
• I am best at reading and writing. I can often tolerate or enjoy it.

We start thus:

1. Mechanic / Plumber
2. Engineer
3. Doctor / Nurse
4. Pharmacist
5. Teacher
6. Lawyer
7. Accountant

Surprisingly, my parents hated the idea of me becoming an engineer (not that I planned to be one; I was neither strong nor interested in either engineering or the sciences). Keep in mind that they're extremely stereotypical Asians.

I had wanted to be a teacher since I was a little kid, but I would never be able to convince my parents that this was a good game plan. And the reality was that, assuming I did become a teacher, I would have a history or English major. The market for such teachers was unfavorable, least of all with STEM being all the rage. My family was too poor, and this state too expensive to live in, to attempt this gambit.

1. Mechanic / Plumber
2. Engineer
3. Doctor / Nurse
4. Pharmacist
5. Teacher
6. Lawyer
7. Accountant

Hence I had to choose another career that would highlight my strengths or skim over my weaknesses. It seemed the natural choice was to practice law. My parents actually accepted this; lawyers are either filthy rich or warriors of justice, right? Not bad. It was a respectable career belonging to the well-educated (meaning, to my parents, the long-educated).

The problem, now well-documented, is that the job market is in a glut / crash. It has been and will continue to be for a while. After reading the data and opinions of lawyers and academia, I decided it was not worth the investment. I was not going to spend over six years of my life only to fight with countless other law graduates for a job whose annual salary probably wasn't even half my projected six-figure debt. And I was not going to gamble on getting a job from BigLaw, the people who do get filthy rich and get a return on their mountain of debt and lost time: the chances of that exceed 0.01%, since, realistically speaking, I doubted I would get into the top law schools and stay at the top of my class -- those are the people who have any shot at an offer from BigLaw these days.

1. Mechanic / Plumber
2. Engineer
3. Doctor / Nurse
4. Pharmacist
5. Teacher
6. Lawyer
7. Accountant

We arrive at the situation as of November of last year, though it really dragged on till this April. I had no intention of being a doctor, nurse or pharmacist, but my parents cried their hearts out and would whisper to me or say outright, "You should practice medicine. It's the only good, stable career. You'll make yourself rich. You'll make us happy," or "If you became a doctor But being disinterested and less than brilliant, I was not doctor material. I discovered recently that they were trying to live out their dreams through me, on a slightly deeper level: my father was primed to be a doctor before his schooling was interrupted by the Vietnam War. On a small note, my brother is applying to medical school. That also upped the pressure on me. My parents aren't aware he hates his major, does not really want to be a doctor, and is trying to get into his alma mater's engineering program. He plans to let them know when it's too late.

So I decided to become a business major because it wouldn't require me to dig too deeply into subjects I loathed. I chose the bedrock concentration, the stable, not very innovative choice: accounting. At least it could pay the bills, and the math and writing skills required (plus sharp eyes and analysis) were about my level.

1. Mechanic / Plumber
2. Engineer
3. Doctor / Nurse
4. Pharmacist
5. Teacher
6. Lawyer
7. Accountant

My parents were obviously less than pleased. I remember announcing this at a restaurant and my mom did her own version of a facepalm: just kinda dropped her head against the table and then shook her head for a while.

This was partly due to their deep admiration (thanks, Vietnamese culture) for medical practitioners and partly because it was an inglorious career. No one they knew was an accountant. Everyone's son or daughter was marching off to medical school with a bio major or becoming an engineer. They couldn't imagine an accountant being as rich as a doctor. They couldn't imagine an accountant (who would've, except for recent public accounting licensing changes, been certified and ready to go after a 4-year undergrad education) thriving since they weren't as well-educated. What well-educated means to them, as I've mentioned before, is long-educated: how many years have you spent in school? Is your degree a Master's or a PhD? Have you gone to grad school? On all three counts, an accountant fell short of their expectations.

I'm spending far too long on this question. In short, I chose a major that I could bear studying and with which I could pay the bills and actually use my lackluster skills.

It took months for them to begrudgingly accept accounting as a viable choice. I still see in them that image of accountants as H&R Block or TurboTax monkeys. That's not what modern accounting is and what accountants are paid good money for. But I've gotten tired of arguing with or trying to gently correct my parents. The child never wins, especially in a culture that demands unremitting obedience from them.

I freshly remember the moment two months ago when my parents called me an "evil child" and, even earlier, when they said they were giving me choices: doctor or lawyer. All I'll say is that you can love someone while taking note of their bullsh*t. However, it does wear you down.

I don't really know what I'm doing with my life or see any greater purpose in what I'm doing besides trying to survive adulthood with some money left over. I don't have any dreams and aspirations -- ones that have survived, anyway. All I can hope for is to be rich so I can pursue or sponsor something meaningful in my spare time. My choice of major stems from risk aversion and realistic self-assessment / pessimism (depends how you look at it).

Why are you trying to convince people you aren't NSFW???

Who from PC would you most like to meet?

Because the war is never over for a warrior of truth and justice. My noble reputation shall not be tarnished by lies.

I have a list of people I'd like to meet. Which choice would cause the least offense to the rest?

In all seriousness, probably wolf. I don't mean to offend anyone. It's just that I've known him the longest and consider him both a very close online friend and a very mysterious person. It is a bit sad that he's busy, but that's how life is.

 

[Lalapizzame]

What kind of movies do you like?

If you could learn one language, which one you would choose?

Do you prefer summer or winter?

Do you think that I'm innocent?

I prefer sci-fi movies set on Earth with a contemporary or historical aesthetic and none of the politics I can't seem to care about. You can be plenty imaginative and dramatic without it.

I would choose Mandarin Chinese for its utility or Japanese to be able to access and enjoy more anime and manga. Spanish would also be up there, considering I live in California...

Mandarin Chinese > Japanese = Spanish

Winter, though I appreciate a beautiful sunny day too.

You are innocent, but less than initially thought.

 

[Sirfetch’d]

Is Bidoof actually your favorite Pokemon?

Where did the farmer lala jokes originate?

 

[KorpiklaaniVodka]

Opinion on wrestling?
Opinion on the 9+10 meme?
Least favourite Pokemon?

 

[Lalapizzame]

Is Bidoof actually your favorite Pokemon?

Where did the farmer lala jokes originate?

I don't have one single favorite pokemon, but Bidoof is up there. It is very cute and useful as an HM slave. It's best if we pretend its abomination of an evo doesn't exist though.

I used to have a server alt called "Farmer Bill" back in the day.

Opinion on wrestling?
Opinion on the 9+10 meme?
Least favourite Pokemon?

Don't care.

Dumb. Just like the kid.

Castform. More seriously: Dustox.

 

[Sirfetch’d]

top 5 server emoticons are?

 

[Aslan]

Hi Lala!

How different do you think your life would of been if you didn't have parents who behaved like stereotypical asians?

Would you say that you'd want to move out of your house as quickly as possible?

What's your relationship with your brother like?

Favourite vietnamese food?

Was 'A+ or disowned' something that happened in your household?

 

[srinator]

Hello fake kev
Hypothetically speaking, if you Could change the country you were born in, what would it be?

 

[Zeffy]

on a scale of Cthulhu to Zeffy, how would you rate the questions you've received so far?

 

[Lalapizzame]

top 5 server emoticons are?

1. :gav:
2. :seduce:
3. 
4. 
5. 

Hi Lala!

How different do you think your life would of been if you didn't have parents who behaved like stereotypical asians?

Would you say that you'd want to move out of your house as quickly as possible?

What's your relationship with your brother like?

Favourite vietnamese food?

Was 'A+ or disowned' something that happened in your household?

Not very, actually. They'd be more accepting but they wouldn't be any richer, nor would this economy be any better. I would be facing the same concerns minus one.

Somewhat. I'd like the freedom and sense of accomplishment if I survived, but I'd have to learn some life skills on the fly, and my financial security isn't guaranteed.

We talk when we need to and give each other stuff sometimes, but most of all we want to be left alone so we can talk with our real friends. Cordial but distant.

Well, balut and congee aren't Vietnamese, per se, but they're good. I prefer cha lua over most supermarket ham. I'll go with bun bo hue, though. It's a whole meal (unlike cha lua) and is more "interesting" to me than pho.

Only once, when I nearly got a C in Calculus. I worked to bump that to an A for the sake of my college prospects; didn't need the extra threats... I'd always done pretty well on my own--their coworkers always complained about having to fork out money for a tutor or how their kids did poorly in math or history--so they didn't push me too hard in that respect.

Hello fake kev
Hypothetically speaking, if you Could change the country you were born in, what would it be?

Canada. That said, while the rent is too damn high, I like it here.

on a scale of Cthulhu to Zeffy, how would you rate the questions you've received so far?

They're pretty decent. Let's go with fetus Zeffy.

 

[Detox]

What do you want/expect from life?

What's your favorite brand of clothing?

 

[Lalapizzame]

What do you want/expect from life?

What's your favorite brand of clothing?

The basics first: a few close friends (I don't like having huge networks except for business purposes) and enough money that I can choose where I live and move if I feel like it. My second wish would be to offer myself to a great product or work of art and say I actually helped produce something meaningful. Realistically speaking, my limited skills and restrictive major make that unlikely.

I don't have a favorite brand. I hate shopping for clothes. I do fancy the idea of wearing a nice suit and slacks to work every day (if there's A/C), though in my part of the country that's usually conspicuous overdressing. So whatever brand helps me with my style.

 

[CJoE]

Would you rather ride a bike, a horse or drive a car?

 

[Lalapizzame]

Would you rather ride a bike, a horse or drive a car?

I have heard bad things about riding horses and men's crotches. There's also the risk of injury on any part of the body, or the horse spooking. It's definitely cool to ride a horse though.

I've had bad experiences with bikes. They are pains in the ass and scary the first few times around, though I understand why people would find them useful. They're just not for me.

Yeah, I'd probably drive a car. Car > horse for functionality, but horse > both for coolness unless it's a really expensive sports car (there are better places to spend that money).

 

[Anti]

do you like roller coasters?

do you like my bedroom?

discuss asia.

why is your name's spelling such hippie bullshit?

asia or the field?

have you hopped on the golden states warriors bandwagon?

have you ever physically assaulted a southern californian?

who is your best jewish friend?

asia?

hillary or the field?

me or the field?

cats or dogs?

jews or j00z?

do you want to have children?

have you ever accidentally gotten a girl pregnant?

what about a boy?

what about me?

do you miss me?

why not?

what sport are you best at?

discuss water polo.

serbia or the field?

are you more qualified to runs the sacramento kings than vivek?

are you a living, breathing person?

are you sure?

who even are you?

do you like being short?

my eyes are up here.

can you beat me at pc plomacy?

wanna try again?

what is wolf's voice like/can i have the audio file you probably have?

are you a stalker?

if you could disenfranchise one minority group in italy, which would it be and why?

do you have any ugly cousins?

is your brother asian?

why don't you love me?

oh, you do?

is it actually you who is the secret ginger?

what would your wrestling name be?

if you could change your name, would you change it to kevin?

if you could own a pet wolf (the user or the animal), would you?

what is your chipotle order?

subway?

what toppings do you get on your pizza?

do you like seafood?

do you like mefood?

does this dress make me look fat?

why haven't you used your facebook to more aggressively preach the virtues of bernie sanders?

does george bush care about black people?

does kanye?

do you?

do i?

does asia?

does mike myers' teleprompter?

chris christie or the field?

chris christie or charles barkley?

thoughts on the '93 suns?

'95 suns?

the kiss of death?

isn't mario kind of a funny name?

'86 celtics or '87 lakers?

is lew alcindor or kareem abdul-jabbar a cooler sounding name?

not like you're an authority on righteous names.

would you support weird al repurposes amish paradise as jewish paradise?

do you like classical music?

are you good at math?

what about league of legends?

yi jianlian or kristaps porzingis?

wwi or wwii? why?

clemenceau or the field?

isn't clyde "the glide" drexler kind of a shitty nickname?

if you faced michael jordan at chess, would you win?

do you even like chess?

what about checkers?

king me?

queen me?

baton pass me?

do you think that calling a mechanic, move, pokemon, etc. in competitives pokemon aids or cancer is more insulting?

why haven't you battled me in all these years?

are you afraid of me?

am i attractive?

are you?

if i asked you to record you reciting john wayne quotations, would you do it?

how about now?

if you could win one nobel prize, what would it be?

not the peace prize, right?

obama didn't deserve that shit, and i voted for the guy.

would mitt romnry have been a decent president?

did you realize how old mitt romney is?

and what about hillary?

getting into john mccain territory.

overrated users?

overrated pokemon?

overrated *weeaboo term*?

what are your thoughts on the word weeaboo as a descriptor?

talk about your offense in the second quarter, and what andre iguodala did to open up his teammates.

mark jackson or marc jackson?

if you had to replace one country on the map entirely with water, entirely for the sake of making the globe look more interesting, what would it be and why?

are you morally corrupt?

are you morally bankrupt?

are you a wizard of moodaism?

got milk?

that's all for today.

 

[Lalapizzame]

do you like roller coasters? I like riding things.

do you like my bedroom? A-Anti-senpai...

discuss asia. Thanks for the anime. No thanks for the conservatism and conformism.

why is your name's spelling such hippie bullmuk? N/A.

jews or j00z? Why is your spelling of "Jews" such hippie bullmuk?

do you want to have children? Too expensive.

have you ever accidentally gotten a girl pregnant? They must've been too close when they tried to hear me cum. Not my fault if a little sprayed into their pants.

what about a boy? No. It's never an accident.

what about me? Refer to previous answer.

do you miss me? Hmm...

why not? Because you'd leave me for a Jew at the first opportunity.

do you like being short? It works out pretty well when getting into cars and doorways.

my eyes are up here. Your balls are down there.

why don't you love me? Your infidelity.

oh, you do? Let's not get cocky.

what would your wrestling name be? The Yellow Peril.

if you could change your name, would you change it to kevin? Probably, for business purposes.

if you could own a pet wolf (the user or the animal), would you? Yes.

subway? No.

do you like seafood? Overrated.

do you like mefood? I'm not that desperate.

why haven't you used your facebook to more aggressively preach the virtues of bernie sanders? Despite what Glenn Beck and his followers may claim, there is a difference between liberalism and socialism.

does george bush care about black people? I'm sure he follows in his father's footsteps in loving the little brown ones.

does kanye? He only loves himself.

do you? Black lives matter.

does asia? No.

thoughts on the '93 suns? I'm glad the sun has fallen.

'95 suns? Refer to previous answer.

the kiss of death?

isn't mario kind of a funny name? Did Mario Cuomo die to be mocked for his name?

'86 celtics or '87 lakers? Yawn.

wwi or wwii? why? WWI because sequels are always worse.

baton pass me? Can your mouth handle it?

why haven't you battled me in all these years? Good question.

are you afraid of me? No.

am i attractive?

are you? Yes.

would mitt romnry have been a decent president? Are you part of the 53% that pays income taxes? If so, possibly.

overrated *weeaboo term*? Anime.

 

[Detox]

What did you want to be as a kid (ex. fireman vet anything else godzilla even tbh etc)? Looking at where you are now, how close are you / were you to actually achieving that dream? Would you say that you are still actively pursuing it?