[PKMN OPEN] Off The Menu [Aw, ain't you a big tickle?] [T] [OOC]

[Ech]

how the fuck did some little tyke get hired by carmine.

ALSO WHAT IS THIS PROMPT, BAILEY LITERALLY GOT THE SNOT BEAT OUTTA HIM BY VORTIGER AND HIS GOONS! QQ'S DAD IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE LMFAO

I hope you're able to handle your shit for this RP and its captious GM, considering you got yourself a waifu to take care of, lololol


Also to answer Glowy: I imagine Vissi as one of the greener employees. That said, her letter which details her resignation from her former profession and decision to apply for Finer Things after getting word from Lil' Fawn was dated on February 4th, just a couple of months prior to the RP's current events.

 

[Jauntier]

The last section of your backstory gave me a smile. I'm open to the idea of a precocious child working here, especially given how well you've explained that away.

Hahaha! Thank you; I'm glad I was able to leave a good impression of Bailey for you! Let's just hope the GM finds the idea acceptable to his standards.

Wait, are you introducing mundane animals into Kiyo's pseudo-50's Pokemon world?

...Oh wait, I just remembered The "Food Chain" section of the OP. I thought for a while that that hadn't made it into the final cut (staying behind in the Workshop), but I was mistaken, it was just hidden in a spoiler collapse table.

Well, this is a clever use of that detail of the universe. G'job.

I appreciate it, although I don't believe I'm the first to mention "prey" in passing, I will say I've definitely made it a focus with Bailey's interests.

Re: The dragon in the Prompt Response:

I had some help with characterization from Your Daily Vitamins, and going off of things that were already publicly said, I just took it a little step further with some of the origins of vocabulary. It was a fine effort between we two. Of course, the prompts are not canon, but it was fun playing around with another player and their characters.

I like how the little guy thinks. I also like the descriptions in your writing style

Precocious is as precocious does! I like to think Bailey is a hint mischievous, among other, more pronounced things. Not so sinister as the wholly self-absorbed and craftily malicious older sisters, mind you, but he's certainly not escaped the influence. Of course, how I end up characterizing him if I am accepted may evolve from a variety of random factors that is so inherent to this medium. I admit that my prompt focused much less on highlighting Bailey's personality, but on his reactions to outside stresses (or so I hope).

And thank you! I really enjoy sensory detail. Whether or not it's written any good is another matter, haha!

Oh yes, I should ask how long you estimate Bailey has been employed here, in comparison with the year-longs like Cadbury and Bun T, and the new workers like Daiquiri (a week).

As of the start of the role-play, he has been employed one month--the same as I listed in the last sentence of his backstory.

how the fuck did some little tyke get hired by carmine.

ALSO WHAT IS THIS PROMPT, BAILEY LITERALLY GOT THE SNOT BEAT OUTTA HIM BY VORTIGER AND HIS GOONS! QQ'S DAD IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE LMFAO

I hope you're able to handle your shit for this RP and its captious GM, considering you got yourself a waifu to take care of, lololol

You don't have to be so negative... :V

Listen, all it took was a whip of his tail. If Bailey had not jumped around so much, all he would have gotten was a little cut while the ropes were slashed, and a big ghost hand picking him up by the head and giving it a little squeeze while he got a stern talking to--before a certain Roswell was called in.

But no, he got demolished.

Now, now, I respect the GM well enough not to call him captious in his own house. I suggest you call him whatever you'd like on his porch, though. Or send him a few very mean letters.

"Waifu". Notice I use the word wife because I actually contribute something to society, Yech.

 

[Afterglow Ampharos]

poor Jean. The movement of the newly-evolved Pokemon's tentacles reminded B.T of a rather queer human book he had come across. Human anatomy was-

FOCUS. I HAVE TO WORK.

Yeah I know the feeling B.T, I get distracted thinking about tentacles too
Especially "queer" ones


Also, the difference between B.T's internal thoughts and his external dialogue is so vast. It must be a strain to wear that much of a mask. Poor ghost. :<

 

[Ihsaan]

Yeah I know the feeling B.T, I get distracted thinking about tentacles too
Especially "queer" ones


Also, the difference between B.T's internal thoughts and his external dialogue is so vast. It must be a strain to wear that much of a mask. Poor ghost. :<

You're a national treasure Glowy, tbh.

Also, yeah, I'm glad that translated well. This dynamic between his inner and outer selves makes B.T very interesting to write. If Bailey gets accepted I hope he would be able to analyse Bun's mind, c:

 

[Afterglow Ampharos]

@Ech
Ok, I really like Fawnie, she's so fun to listen to. It's a pity she'll probably only be in this post and no others.

I also like the idea of the Milotic place you described. Maybe I'm biased, I have a Milotic character of my own, a shy pretty-boy.

Given how the post opened, I actually didn't expect you to start with a flashback at all, so I was admittedly lost as to what was going on until Kiyo pointed out to me that it is indeed a flashback.

So why is our girl here having bad acid trips every time she looks at beetles, huh?

 

[Who's Kiyo?]

Game Related Memes --

"A journalist, then. May I ask what brought you here?"

-----

Ya got a right good eye keepin' ya steady in case that nose of yours clogs up any more, stuffy. What's with the snobby-poppy temper you're feedin' me? - step back, step back - I just report on big news in the city; I ain't no showstopper myself. Drama's my life, but drama ain't my life, you feel? Loosen up ... you'll look better in the pictures if you do.

-----

There ain't no specific scoop I'm achin' to pick at, but you can bet somethin's gonna happen. All these beaus and beauts in one place? Bound to stir up trouble, one-hundred-percent guarantee. I ain't got time to waste on sippin' champagne - as much as I'd kill for a drink - and ticklin' the bum of some big-wig "oh-ho-ho~", these events are where I punch my clock. Sure, it's tirin' not bein' able to just sit back an enjoy events - if you're a big ol' puss-puss - but I'm tellin' ya it's worth it: media is where the real power is, kid. Don't let their jewels and mustache oil fool ya; I write one bad thing about them in my column, and they might as well lose the number of their hoity-toity producer and file for divorce.

-----

So don't ya go hidin' any material from me, honey badger. I help little folk like ya rise up and have a soapbox to stand on when push comes to shove, so it's in your best interest to scratch my back. Come on, we're pals. I'm trustin' ya.

Afterglow Ampharos has 5 questions left.​

Official Business Memes --

Spoiler:

I'll just leave this meager little thing here, yeah?

Anyway, onto your little bundle of joy before your wife comes out with hers.

APPEARANCE

I love the little unsettling features you use to twist this normally adorable and simple Pokemon design to match your needs while still keeping it faithful and identifiable, and those sketchy drawings you surround Bailey with are all kinds of creepy; how'd you know that I'm a sucker for dissonance and duality?

I have no problems with this section.

MOVESET

Your detailing is excellent - I especially love your interpretation of Skill Swap, and can't wait to see it toyed around with - and the way you gave yourself levels to your power and limitations are very appreciated and intriguing.

My only question concerns the visibility of the "energy" that emits off these abilities. I'm wondering if some, if not all, of these techniques emit a "light," per se. In the games for instance, Hypnosis is commonly portrayed as the user unleashing yellow rings into the mind of their target; Confusion and other telekinetic moves surround the target with a pink or purple glow, etc. Do you plan on doing something similar? The way you describe them here - and an instance in your prompt - could go in either direction.

BACKGROUND & PROMPT

help with characterization from Your Daily Vitamins

Even SUs are becoming JPs. That's really cool, actually! I love the way it fosters consistent worldbuilding and connects characters together. You and Cam did some nice work: besides your random tendency to jump into the present tense, there weren't that many critical comments I had to make!

Bailey's Secret has been Approved. Also: hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my ragtime reel:

Spoiler:

He and his older twin sisters were conceived by a female Gardevoir and a male Duosion

Sounds like a rather gooey affair.

possibly even internalize these conflicting emotions that grew prevalent in the household

As children do, I suppose. Love your use of lore here with the Ralts line, allowing us to see a sneak peek at what it must be like to develop as a psychic-type! A prodigy, eh? of course you'd play as one

lived in another quaint little town called Jubilee

*he and his mother are buying flowers at FMN*
Bailey: "Mother, I think someone's thoughts are leaking into my head."
Mother: *delighted* "You're starting to tap into your telepathic abilities!"
Bailey: "I'm seeing ... a Pangoro in compromising positions?"
Amy: Cicaro.
Cicaro: Not my fault you psychic-type bastards are so mentally intrusive.

one other coincidental Kirlia

Two apps now reference Kaze, this is unreal.

ALL AROUND THE WORLLLLD STATUES CRUMBLE FOR ME

almost seemed like their victories were predictable

I wonder if the troupe ever gets bored of being so successful, as they have nothing that really challenges them in competitions? Are they truly satisfied with winning, just so they can add another accolade to their repertoire of throwaway successes in conversation? "Oh, Radio City Music Hall? Their decor was so passé, nothing at all like performing at the Bolshoi Theatre."

all synchronized in identifying true emotion, the ladies did not take it well before learning to disregard him altogether on the topic

Ugh, this whole familial situation is so sticky. I love it. It must be awful living with a family that has a distinct, inherent ability to read you like a book when you can't do the same, and it must be just as bad in turn to innately feel your father resenting your accomplishments out of self-hate.

Perhaps the stress of keeping up with family will visit upon Bailey too; as he doesn't possess any liberal art interests, but rather, shares his passion with his father? Certainly seems like he'll grow to be more successful in that field than his forebear, but I wonder if his mother will drive him to be dislike her ex; as the situation sometimes is with divorced couples and their children.

He was an aide for a field researching firm on creatures who lacked the Type-specific potentials

this is a clever use of that detail of the universe

I second Glowy's sentiment! I think it's very cool and involving to use the lore established in the Essentials post to your advantage. I bet it'll lead to interesting scenes of Bailey probing around the kitchen for some ... samples? Test subjects?

offer suggestions in such a way that his father would unwittingly consider it his own revelation

Unwittingly doing him a disservice, too. I wonder if we can play around with this concept IC?

she was left to decide between fostering her children's potential and cradling his self-image

I'm not crying, you're crying. It's sad to see love transform into holding one another back.

had no hand in influencing decisions and was content in accepting outcomes

Really? No sadness in seeing the man he spent - for what your previous writing implied - most of his time with? Hm, this strikes me as odd, unless this is supposed to simply reflect some budding sociopathic tendencies.

Even then, if this is out of internal emotional aloofness, why did he bother to care about his father enough to discreetly aid him in his work before? That rings as ... caring about his dad to me, so it's weird that Bailey doesn't care about seeing him go.

Unless he was just ... testing out his power, seeing what he was capable of doing?

he would subject their bodies to different stresses until he thought fit to free them

At first I was gonna be like "why are you choosing to characterize his sisters versus himself" and then I was like "oh, he can't be bothered with social affairs because his interests are in mutilating animals for fun, I see."

and intercepting letters from a more reflective and remorseful father to destroy

"and destroying intercepted letters from a more reflective and remorseful father" might flow better here. Also, ow, their resentment goes fucking deep.

this event did interest Bailey if this was to go the way his sisters excitedly prattled to him, and decided to play along to their scheme

I'm curious what founds his excitement here if he couldn't be bothered before - and also why he's interested now when you explicitly said he's the type to just accept outcomes, like when his father left - noting that the Kirlia had the same vim for their endeavor before they found this candidate.

as a totem in one of their mother's long trench coats to conceal themselves

​

THEY DRUGGED THEIR BABYSITTER AND SNUCK IN LIKE IT WAS AN R-RATED MOVIE

his company received critical acclaim for their great performances, and he was often in starring roles

Robert sounds like the type of stud muffin who'd either appear or be gossiped about tonight. Hmm.

also gtfo with this ralts line master race bullshit

While the sisters danced and thanked them all, Bailey began to wonder if the city could provide him with any more knowledge and insight to the little creatures

Twins: "We could really get our start there!"
Bailey: "yes but are there enough tiny animals to torture"

His mother had advocated he be in a grade that reflected his current knowledge ... socially he still had a few mannerisms of a young child

​

I can't figure out which Dexter he resembles more.

Anyway, aw poor Bay-Bay. He can't relate to these judgmental, emotion-feeling meanies. :<

Bailey found some items related to his interests that he'd like to purchase for himself, but their nature he understood could alarm his mother and her fiance, and while his sisters wouldn't much care with their own devious rapport, they had no money to spare. In a health clinic supplier's office, an old toy store that sells scavenged human items, and a curator's library, Bailey's desire to buy surgical instruments, a raw and unprotected Dr. Geiger's Chemistry Kit, and a few volumes of an human medical encyclopedia urged him to look for a job. He suggests to his mother that instead of grade school--where attendance isn't necessary--that she allow him to help earn for the household and start his own account savings. Putting up a convincing argument to his mother with a surprised Robert and the curious twins standing by, she asked him where he would like to work.

Not every day your five-year-old approaches you and says he wants to work instead of attending formal education.

This section, while the information it conveys is good, could use some grammatical revision; it's rather jumbled, and you shift into present tense for a split second. I'll leave it up to you to either revise it yourself or ask for my assistance.

Do really love the part about the clinic being an "old toy store" for Bailey. Yikes.

Bailey had taken time to observe staff, operations, setting, and other details while the family was concerned with the atmosphere and themselves. Bailey figured he had picked up enough information that he could recall to leave a fine impression

Hm, this is stuff I really like. It definitely molds reasoning to your age being below standard, and it differentiates his qualities from his family's. Nicely done, really helps me envision your character and his modus operandi; if I'm using that term correctly.

he thought for a moment: should the stamp ever break, had he the skill to seamlessly mend it?

He's so nosy, with parcels and the insides of others ... very nice consistency.

tension and dread felt as if its slender fingers were tracing the creases in his lobes. The horn on his head had caught the emotional signal that radiated from the other side of the door.

guuuuurl this descriptive language

​

Again, love your usage of biology and lore for your character.

a Makuhita in an open floral-print bathrobe. Beyond him, Bailey could see, was a modest kitchen, whose paper-laiden table in the back corner was preoccupied with two other guests.

Bailey stars in Pulp Fiction.

SAY "PIKA PIKA" AGAIN, I DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER

He only had to dispatch a parcel.

LOL I don't know why it's so funny to me that Bailey is just like "yo i'm out sign here please"

a pair of trashcans unexpectedly threw themselves into the pursuant's path

Good moment of agency here!

There's a part of me that I feels like you focus too much on what surrounds Bailey versus who he is or how it has affected him, but you have enough of these moments and characterizations in your background that it isn't a huge issue.

the pitch black utterly engulfed his sight

The scene following this line was very telling of your writing ability, you really captured the feeling of melting into nothingness in a way that flowed well and made me understand the process.

Dues... Ingrate...

Peeps now on sale at Rite-Aid ...

"You goddamned wandought, you brought a bloody child!?"

Not only is this funny, I like how it's telling of this Pokemon society: as we've illustrated with Carmine and some of our VIPs, any age can be at any evolutionary stage, so it was kinda exciting to see this detail come alive in the form of Vortiger not being able to assume Bailey's age simply by his appearance.

Scattered before him were small photographs of instant film

How unexpected! I also like how the package does not serve as a deus ex machina either, its meaning is just as mysterious as it was when it was a package, and its reveal does not let Bailey escape out of this easy. Also, while we're on the topic, I really appreciated that you didn't write your way out by teleporting, but rather used the move to further action and excitement in the combat scene.

"Bring in Roswell,"

OwO what's this?

Perhaps a reference to that (Roswell)?

I've missed the beach, and I've missed Mai.

A lovely, solemn note to end your prompt on. I like how we, either as Bailey or the audience, don't get to fully know what happened. Adds that mystique of stepping into another person's story, you know?​

Side Memes --

Spoiler:

Took me hours to to color it, but I'm satisfied!

​

Camille, the colors and pose you used bring Qui-Qui to life. Absolutely adore this photo and admire your talent.

I'm not going to make it through the night, am I

​

Let's just hope the GM finds the idea acceptable to his standards

​

I suggest you call him whatever you'd like on his porch, though. Or send him a few very mean letters.

I also accept postcards and packages of anthrax.

Notice I use the word wife because I actually contribute something to society

I get distracted thinking about tentacles too

I also like the idea of the Milotic place you described

if only you knew​

 

[Afterglow Ampharos]

"A journalist, then. May I ask what brought you here?"

-----

Ya got a right good eye keepin' ya steady in case that nose of yours clogs up any more, stuffy. What's with the snobby-poppy temper you're feedin' me? - step back, step back - I just report on big news in the city; I ain't no showstopper myself. Drama's my life, but drama ain't my life, you feel? Loosen up ... you'll look better in the pictures if you do.

-----

There ain't no specific scoop I'm achin' to pick at, but you can bet somethin's gonna happen. All these beaus and beauts in one place? Bound to stir up trouble, one-hundred-percent guarantee. I ain't got time to waste on sippin' champagne - as much as I'd kill for a drink - and ticklin' the bum of some big-wig "oh-ho-ho~", these events are where I punch my clock. Sure, it's tirin' not bein' able to just sit back an enjoy events - if you're a big ol' puss-puss - but I'm tellin' ya it's worth it: media is where the real power is, kid. Don't let their jewels and mustache oil fool ya; I write one bad thing about them in my column, and they might as well lose the number of their hoity-toity producer and file for divorce.

-----

So don't ya go hidin' any material from me, honey badger. I help little folk like ya rise up and have a soapbox to stand on when push comes to shove, so it's in your best interest to scratch my back. Come on, we're pals. I'm trustin' ya.​

Cadbury took a moment to recondition his ego. He wasn't thrilled with being called "little folk," but of course there was no way this skunk could have known Cadbury was a renowned butler and not simply normal wait staff. He held his tongue.

"Well, if you change your mind about that drink, do let one of us know," he said, pulling together a smile in spite of the thoughts gone through his mind a moment ago. Speaking of smiling, he really should take her advice. Loosen up. He made a mental note, and Claudette noticed the Linoone's shoulders relax.

He had his doubts that Claudette's column was quite as powerful and influential as she made it out to be, but at the same time, it was not exactly a surprise to hear her talking up her work.

"Nothing to hide at the moment," he said, holding up both palms, but smiling to show he was mostly using the defensive gesture in jest. A jesture. "But it is likely to be a long and eventful evening, yes. Here's hoping you'll have good news to deliver, hm?" The joke was on Cadbury: bad news sells far better.

"If anything newsworthy transpires, I'll try to keep you in mind -- assuming you aren't already all over it. You very well may be. Although... It does sound as if you're quite keen on using your journalistic power to topple the livelihood of a higher-up." He leaned in slightly with both paws behind his back, his posture treading the line between dignified and conspiratorial. "I don't suppose you have your barrel pointed at anyone in particular...?"

​

 

[Aquacorde]

Questions for Claudette!

Do you have your eye on anyone in particular tonight- anyone who tends to make the papers more than others? Who here have you written about before?

 

[Jauntier]

My only question concerns the visibility of the "energy" that emits off these abilities. I'm wondering if some, if not all, of these techniques emit a "light," per se. In the games for instance, Hypnosis is commonly portrayed as the user unleashing yellow rings into the mind of their target; Confusion and other telekinetic moves surround the target with a pink or purple glow, etc. Do you plan on doing something similar? The way you describe them here - and an instance in your prompt - could go in either direction.

For Hypnosis, I imagined it to be an enticing swirl of colors glowing from his eyes that reflects in the target's eyes too. Confusion will have a thin lining aura of pink, but Teleport I imagine is just so quick and really only affects Bailey and what he's holding that it wouldn't matter to indicate a glow. Yeah? Would you prefer I edit my app to reflect this?

Even SUs are becoming JPs. That's really cool, actually! I love the way it fosters consistent worldbuilding and connects characters together. You and Cam did some nice work: besides your random tendency to jump into the present tense, there weren't that many critical comments I had to make!

I did jump my tenses, didn't I? You'll have to excuse me, in my eagerness to 'get it done' I skimped out on thoroughly proofreading. Yikes, I know, a real folly for this medium, but I'll be sure to clean up for IC posts, now that I'm approved.

And thank you for the praise! I'll take it to heart.

As for a few comments on your comments:

Spoiler:

As children do, I suppose. Love your use of lore here with the Ralts line, allowing us to see a sneak peek at what it must be like to develop as a psychic-type! A prodigy, eh? of course you'd play as one

Bailey's tuning of the surrounding emotional atmosphere can become a great support or great hindrance to him. Take that as you may.

*he and his mother are buying flowers at FMN*
Bailey: "Mother, I think someone's thoughts are leaking into my head."
Mother: *delighted* "You're starting to tap into your telepathic abilities!"
Bailey: "I'm seeing ... a Pangoro in compromising positions?"
Amy: Cicaro.
Cicaro: Not my fault you psychic-type bastards are so mentally intrusive.

Kiyo, please, Bailey is sorely under-aged. Child abuse is no laughing matter.

Two apps now reference Kaze, this is unreal.

ALL AROUND THE WORLLLLD STATUES CRUMBLE FOR ME

... Who? T'was just an unnamed Kirlia mentioned. Eheheh...

Poor thing was left back in the other town. The troupe broke up. The sisters remember to write though.

I wonder if the troupe ever gets bored of being so successful, as they have nothing that really challenges them in competitions? Are they truly satisfied with winning, just so they can add another accolade to their repertoire of throwaway successes in conversation? "Oh, Radio City Music Hall? Their decor was so passé, nothing at all like performing at the Bolshoi Theatre."

Well, you've noticed that the nature of the sisters can be rather vindictive and calculating, so they don't rely on talent alone in some of these competitions. Sometimes, we'll say, there are some mind games at play. The mother is not involved though. I hadn't characterized herself that much, but I wanted her to be this very nice lady who is genuinely unaware of what havoc her 'perfect' children wreak.

Perhaps the stress of keeping up with family will visit upon Bailey too; as he doesn't possess any liberal art interests, but rather, shares his passion with his father? Certainly seems like he'll grow to be more successful in that field than his forebear, but I wonder if his mother will drive him to be dislike her ex; as the situation sometimes is with divorced couples and their children.

I imagined that because he was so young at that point in time, it wasn't much of a concern for the baby to "keep up", but now he does share his father's apathy with the ladies'--and now his mother's fiance's--interests of the arts. Not for the same reason as his father, of course (self-pity), just that his interests were more influenced by his father's work.

I second Glowy's sentiment! I think it's very cool and involving to use the lore established in the Essentials post to your advantage. I bet it'll lead to interesting scenes of Bailey probing around the kitchen for some ... samples? Test subjects?

What good is a bird if it's already dead and boiled?

Unwittingly doing him a disservice, too. I wonder if we can play around with this concept IC?

In what way?

Really? No sadness in seeing the man he spent - for what your previous writing implied - most of his time with? Hm, this strikes me as odd, unless this is supposed to simply reflect some budding sociopathic tendencies.

Even then, if this is out of internal emotional aloofness, why did he bother to care about his father enough to discreetly aid him in his work before? That rings as ... caring about his dad to me, so it's weird that Bailey doesn't care about seeing him go.

Unless he was just ... testing out his power, seeing what he was capable of doing?

It was less about caring, and more that I wanted to illustrate that while Bailey understood that his mother's marriage wasn't something he could, should, or wanted to meddle with--especially since the high emotions throughout the early years negatively affected his development, where now he's adopted a "coping" mechanism or outlet of expression in his twisted interest with small animals--his sisters wanted to mastermind what would be a "perfect" family for themselves.

The way I picture Bailey, with his uncanny gaze and little smile, I can't really see him shedding tears, though I can see him sitting alone in the corner, staring at a wall, and playing a little movie in his head to explain how things got to this point.

"and destroying intercepted letters from a more reflective and remorseful father" might flow better here. Also, ow, their resentment goes fucking deep.

It's much better, thank you.

And yes, I really, really like the sisters.

I'm curious what founds his excitement here if he couldn't be bothered before - and also why he's interested now when you explicitly said he's the type to just accept outcomes, like when his father left - noting that the Kirlia had the same vim for their endeavor before they found this candidate.

Bailey wasn't excited--the sisters were. He knows that they are a determined type, as they like to manipulate situations into outcomes of their liking. Accepting that outcome, he decided he may as well see what they're up to. Visit the fruit of their labor, you know, as he's got nothing better to do. Besides, the whole family dynamic would change with what they've been trying to do, so best to see this person for himself as well, yeah?

Robert sounds like the type of stud muffin who'd either appear or be gossiped about tonight. Hmm.

also gtfo with this ralts line master race bullshit

Kerry: Why bother with a two-brained, two-faced, two-timing Duosion...
Kiley: ... When we can stick to just one superior evolution?

If you decide you want him to make an appearance, I can certainly give you some information with which you may do what you like.

This section, while the information it conveys is good, could use some grammatical revision; it's rather jumbled, and you shift into present tense for a split second. I'll leave it up to you to either revise it yourself or ask for my assistance.

Do really love the part about the clinic being an "old toy store" for Bailey. Yikes.

I may as well go back through my app and edit what I may, eh? It's for the best.

Oh no, it meant to read that there were three places he wanted to visit, and an old toy store was place number two. It's where he'd get the chemistry kit from. I do like your misinterpretation of it though, and I am more than willing to claim it anyway.

Good moment of agency here!

There's a part of me that I feels like you focus too much on what surrounds Bailey versus who he is or how it has affected him, but you have enough of these moments and characterizations in your background that it isn't a huge issue.

I'll keep that in mind. I think my attempt with that--at least when it dealt with his backstory--was to contrast his mannerisms and interests, and from there one could extract what he is from what he isn't? I didn't want to define him too much. I felt keeping him distant from the reader, in a sense, was a good way of leaving the impression that he was just that aloof. Do you understand what I mean?

How unexpected! I also like how the package does not serve as a deus ex machina either, its meaning is just as mysterious as it was when it was a package, and its reveal does not let Bailey escape out of this easy. Also, while we're on the topic, I really appreciated that you didn't write your way out by teleporting, but rather used the move to further action and excitement in the combat scene.

It would have been a sorry, short build up for naught if I just wrote him off so quickly in either method, yeah? I wanted a little more excitement out of it. I'm glad you appreciate my methods!

Perhaps a reference to that (Roswell)?

Perhaps.

A lovely, solemn note to end your prompt on. I like how we, either as Bailey or the audience, don't get to fully know what happened. Adds that mystique of stepping into another person's story, you know?

Why, absolutely.

Now, where is Bailey to start?

 

[Afterglow Ampharos]

Oh no, it meant to read that there were three places he wanted to visit, and an old toy store was place number two.

I also read it this way, for the record. It was clear enough in my head, though I could also see room for confusion.

Do you have a ballpark or even an exact number for the Ralts's age?
Perhaps also for what you might estimate his mental age to be? I know that's hard to really nail down, since in some aspects he would act his age, some he might act like an adult, some in between (teen?), so if this question is flawed from the get-go I totally get that. Doesn't hurt to ask though.

 

[Ech]

Lil' Fawn​

Now, who was the silly sweet tart who thought Lil' ol' me was exclusive for just that one scene~?

​

Cleo, darling!~ What a pleasure to meet you! Oh, can I call you Cleo? You look more like a Cleo than a Claudette. A Claudette is someone I imagine as grossly incompetent -- you know the one; they're the type who don't cuff their pants when wearing ankle booties or wake you up just to ask if you were asleep.

Gotta say, just l-o-o-ove that style you're rocking'! Why that lid of yours is positively spiffy, and your hair is simply gorgeous! I should get a fedora, but I feel like the size of my head's is simply incompatible with the sizes currently available. Oh, they don't make them in pink either. But, enough about my incessant blabbering, let us dive into the juicy parts!

I'm going to presume you've been a newshound for quite some time, as I would not bother talking to you otherwise -- no offense, of course; that wouldn't affect my opinion regarding your fashion. And running off the assumption that you've written countless articles on countless subjects, might I ask for an opinion. That is, have you ever felt it was necessary, or even considered it a prerequisite, to embellish the truth before it's printed out? You know, like sharing gossip except it's actually totally true and you also get paid for it?

 

[Jauntier]

Do you have a ballpark or even an exact number for the Ralts's age?
Perhaps also for what you might estimate his mental age to be? I know that's hard to really nail down, since in some aspects he would act his age, some he might act like an adult, some in between (teen?), so if this question is flawed from the get-go I totally get that. Doesn't hurt to ask though.

Bailey is like a ten-year-old. I can't put a number to his mentality though, for the same reasons you gave.

 

[Afterglow Ampharos]

-----

Jean-Georges enjoyed the spectacle of his silky friend jumping from seat to seat doing impressions of the guests. He wasn't entirely sure why the badger insisted he doodle during the improvisations, but he was happy to oblige and present his work when requested:

Spoiler:

-----

The Octillery pointed to the logo at the top of a menu, and shot Cadbury a joyful look while wiggling his tentacles. He hoped his sketch provided ample payment for the theatrics.

There's a Grapes of Wrath joke in here

But I can't suss it out.

P.S. "silky friend" is dang cute

P.P.S. Cadbury couldn't even hold his usual smiling icon together for this last post.

Edit: Hah! That's one way to make cash, Qui-Qui. Nice job.

 

[Who's Kiyo?]

Hors d'oeuvre --

"I don't suppose you have your barrel pointed at anyone in particular...?"

-----

Woah-oh-oh, ya know I got my guns pointed at that ambassador chick. She spills wine on a designer dress, I got the front page ... above the fold. She lays a smooch on the cheek of a pal: bam - who's this sheik stealin' up her heart? - continued on page three! H-e-l-l-o kid, I'll be eatin' for weeks if I snap of pic of her breathin' the wrong way.

-----

Not to say I mean to harm the poor thing. I've read quite a few tabloids praisin' her foreign policy or some such; she seems like the kind of gal I'd vote for to put pushy bureaucrats in their place, definitely, but ... we all got people we need to look out for, ya know? I got a gal back home waitin' every night - bless her heart, don't know what she sees in me - and ... she counts on me. I'm sure the ambassador wouldn't hesitate to pick at my career for the sake of her fam. Even if she ruined me, it'd be somethin' I'd understand.

-----

Ah - uh, actually, can I have tha ... that drink - ah, no, sorry-sorry-sorry; nah, I'm good, nevermind.

"Who here have you written about before?"

-----

Uh-oh, I can tell someone ain't readin' my stories. Lemme take a look around - hm, haw, who haven't I ever-ever talked about - oh, right, everyone in this room is somebody I've snipped at once or another; silly question boo-boo, better luck next time.

-----

Though I guess I'm bein' unfair here ... the head honchos of this place - Finer Things, I means - they're an elusive bunch. Sure, I'd love to sink my teeth into Carmine or Lombardi, but what am I gonna write a whole column about? That accent? That temper? Pl-ease, I've heard and seen better from better. Ya can smash an apple and call it a pie, but ya can't serve up a Thanksgivin' Dessert if ya don't even got apple seeds; ya feel me, sweetie?

"Have you ever felt it was necessary to embellish the truth?"

-----

Who the hell is "Cleo," who are ya talkin' to? Me? Uh-nah, no, ya can't call me Cleo, that ain't my bloody name. Ya were almost right on that last part though, with Claudette ... 'cept I'm more likely to put people back to sleep forever if they keep tryin' to call me "Cleo." And ... thanks, I supposes. The babe back home does my fur. Says it makes me look more approachable.

-----

Ah, I see, everybody want to know how much I gotta lie. Well, Cakes, I'll let ya into an exclusive one-of-a-kind secret: if ya good at this job, ya don't gotta lie. Ya just use a fancy word to beef up what happened, then let logic follow through: she picked her nose? Nah, she gouged her nose. What does one do when their nose is all bloody? Why, I'd go to the doctor and get my schnoz fixed - what was that, nose surgery, wow! - aaaaand there ya are, the day column's written, ya off to an early lunch, and the paparazzi are bangin' down the star's front door before they've taken their finger out. Now, how does that diff-er-en-tiate from straight-up lyin'?

-----

Because I got a reputation, and it says I don't lie. Ya feel? Besides, I ain't got ... much, to lie about in my own life. I ain't good at real lies, I barely got practice.

Afterglow Ampharos has 4 questions left.
Ech as 5 questions left.
Thank you for participating, Aquacorde!​

Entrée --

Spoiler:

[Moves], yeah? Would you prefer I edit my app to reflect this?

You can if you so wish, I just wanted to make sure that your psychic abilities aren't too-too invisible; you know, have their usage still carry that risk of being seen if you use it for a purpose your manager or the guests wouldn't approve of.

in my eagerness to 'get it done' I skimped out on thoroughly proofreading

Unacceptable. Do it again, and you'll be b a n n e d.

Child abuse is no laughing matter

Cicaro was the one who had his private thoughts infiltrated. Stop invading gay spaces and forcing your agenda.

there are some mind games at play. The mother is not involved though ... very nice lady who is genuinely unaware of what havoc her 'perfect' children wreak

I wouldn't have it any other way. I surely hope Bailey is influenced a bit by his sisters.

In what way?

Supplanting ideas in the players or guests, perhaps.

I can see him sitting alone in the corner, staring at a wall, and playing a little movie in his head to explain how things got to this point

Everyone has their own ways of dealing, I suppose. I like the answer you've provided.

so best to see this person for himself as well, yeah?

​

I'll bite.

Do you understand what I mean?

Implying character by the way they're presented in the narrative is something I can get with.

where is Bailey to start?

We've already discussed this in private, but we can imply Bailey has always been present, as we're not too far into the RP. PJ is still down in the Cold Storage waiting for some help!

There's a Grapes of Wrath joke in here

The Great Depression is no laughing matter, Glowy.​

Dessert --

ping

You have been able to respond IC since April 3rd, and it is now your ninth day without posting. You are becoming inactive, and I need a post from you ASAP or your character may be removed from the RP.​

 

[Ihsaan]

I'm sorry for not posting but I was too busy being intoxicated with the feeling of relaxation that comes after the end of high school. I'll be more regular now.

 

[Ech]

YO WHERE MY CESSPOOL AT, THIS OOC AIN'T BEING CRITICAL AND MEMEY ENOUGH

Lil' Fawn​

I wonder when I'll make a physical appearance in the IC~

​

Oh, my heavens! I'm terribly sorry, I wasn't trying to insinuate you were whitewashing any of your published work!

But, oh! I can relate! You see, I believe there are many ways on telling the truth! My peers often depicted me as a little frivolous flower and erroneously label all my facts as childish hyperbole. But see, I remember talking to this one guy who eavesdropped on me chit-chatting with some other guy, and this guy - I think he was one of them big-nosed cuties who could only face one direction? - was proclaiming how our cheese is one molecule off from being toxic. I mean, he was cute but he was also such a BORE. Like, hey do you want to read my article on how exactly moss grows on the back of a Torterra? Like, who cares about moss. I'd rather hear how the moss could potentially turn those big shelled terrapins into mutated zombies! I mean, it's not necessarily untrue; he did say there was a potential risk this moss could harm the Torterra species. And that's way more interesting than going into technobabble about moss.

Anyways, what am I talking about? Cheesy moss? That's gross, like, ew. My point is, I never meant to imply you were a two-bit liar, oh, no, no, no! But what is this? You claim you are not a good liar? Oh, stop with that pish posh! I bet you are an adept liar at heart, the best even! Why, I'd be totally interested in hearing you lie about your life right now! What kind of upbringing did you have, Clausandra?

... I'm still determined to give you a different name. Claudette sounds like it's the name of someone's naggy grandma, the one who never bakes you any cookies but still expects you to do their chores; their reasoning for your obedience is because they are old and you should care about them.

 

[Who's Kiyo?]

Science fiction (ooh ooh ooh) double feature

Doctor X (ooh ooh ooh) will build a creature

See androids fighting (ooh ooh ooh) Brad and Janet

Anne Francis stars in (ooh ooh ooh) Forbidden Planet

Wo oh oh oh oh oh, at the late night, double feature, picture show

I would like to inform the group that the Guest List for Claudette will end at 7:20 PM (in-character time). I'll hold off answering Ech's question until I get at least one more for this round. Also, no Ihsaan, you don't need fancy CSS to ask a question.

Anyway, here are my commentary reels for the current stack of posts (#1-#24)!

Cadbury, played by Afterglow Ampharos:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

The octopus seemed octopied -- er, occupied, rather -- behind the bar with his many arms.

Honestly, how dare you.

This brings up a neat question though: are you writing your narrative as if Cadbury were narrating his own life in third person, or simply making the narrative fit Cadbury's personality?

could only hope the octopus wasn't getting suction-cup marks all over the glasses.

Lol, can't tell you how paranoid I am of getting fingerprints on the glasses at my work in the same manner.

But imagining a monocle getting popped over little suction cup marks is funny to me. Maybe someone would even think they were apart of the design?

Cadbury could only chalk it up to the jarring transition from no arms, to eight of them.

Delightful to see you incorporating details written in the profiles! I always imagined that drastic evolutions like the one from Remoraid to Octillery would require that 'mon to severely adjust, which I definitely wanted to explore with Jean-Georges.

Hm. That came out a little more blunt than he'd have liked.

Nice touch here, it gives me the impression that Cadbury is always tweaking himself. Though he stated his thought very eloquently, he still finds something to criticize and keep in mind for later. It's a tasty narrative detail.

I thought it was really funny how Cadbury feels the need to analyze and comment on all of the tasks available instead of just taking one, for god's sake. And then he ends without choosing one, lol.​

Spoiler:

"Hm. Peculiar perfume on that one," he remarked to himself quietly.

Maybe she's born with it.

If you're anything like me, you're proud of the work you've been doing as a busboy, but are eager to take on a little more responsibility, a less minor task.

Don't believe in yourself. Believe in me! Believe in the Cadbury who believes in you!

This moment is so precious. He helps the transition with this blown-out motivational speech, lol.

The busboy's eyes brightened as they looked at Cadbury, and he gave a quick nod.

I love that now it's established that he doesn't fully grasp the spoken word, this scene is literally Jean-Georges bullshiting Cadbury.

the cephalopod climbed up and over the counter of the bar

I have to say, I adore how you expanded upon Jean-Georges' concept here. This is totally something he would do, and it's one of my favorite details in this post. Good creativity!

Cadbury would be inclined to call his apparel a deep stromboli green, but that word didn't mean much to most of the people he conversed with.

I noticed that wording in your SU too, and it's neat you call back to it here. It's cute how Cadbury describes the pattern of his tie by using a food as an adjective, demonstrating his life in service. And lol, "most people" wouldn't understand.

I'VEEEEE BECOME SO NUUUUUMB

A good pen, at that, not a cheap variety.

This bitch is so extra, is it plated with fucking gold? Cadbury, pleaseeeee. This is great.

He was about to ask "You can write, can't you?" but he had just realized how rude that sounds

Don't make me send you to S E N S I T I V I T Y TRAINING.

Ugh, again, love hearing Cadbury's mental process. He's an uptight little man that's so deliberate, so thoughtful, almost plotting in a way. He'd totally care about not being a straight-up ass to the poor octo-treasure, and it's refreshing to me that Cadbury genuinely gives a shit about being nice. Like, I'm very boisterous and ostentatious in my personal life, but I make it a point of being really polite and nice at my profession; and I bet that goes double for our badger friend here.​

Spoiler:

How on earth was the Octillery able to produce art this detailed with his newly developed tentacles, but still drop and shatter glasses?

That is the mystery, hmm? I really like how you ran with the info I sent you and used it to further your plot. Brilliant!

A refined customer, of course.

Of course.

"I'd like to order the Stuffed Mushrooms, and the Wedge Caesar Salad, to start."

​

Awesome that you chose this dish: not only do I feel that Finer Things would serve something this pretentious, it's a thoughtful choice to stretch out those artistic muscles on Jean-Georges!

Cadbury rises from his seat and quickly transitions into the next chair to the left, acting as a second customer.

Look at these babeeeees. This was such a cute exchange to read, I love imagining the vocal back-and-forth and Cadbury shuffling between seats like an improv comedian while Octillery stares on, captivated.​

Spoiler:

"Your talents are wasted here, my friend," he muttered.

Somebody's projecting.

"I'm afraid we're not communicating effectively, Jean-Georges." He already knew the Octillery was mute, but he hadn't known until now just how poorly he understood spoken language, as well.

Haha, gotcha. I like how he sounds like a middle-manager or a guidance counselor in this. He's trying so hard to be respectful, but like, what does he do? Good internalization of frustration.

Cadbury cast his gaze across the Dining Room, settling on a Wurmple sitting by himself. "Let me show you what to do," he said,

LOL HE CHOSE THE LEAST PATIENT CUSTOMER IN THE WHOLE BATCH OF VIPS

My quiet co-worker here is in training to be a waiter, I don't suppose you'd be willing to help him practice?

This moment was really fun to respond to - not only because Morimoto would be a dick about it - but because I'm imagining someone doing this in real life and I'd be like "um?" Cadbury wants everyone to play along well and understand eachother, but everyone around him is a stuffed shirt prick, lol.​

Spoiler:

Yes, and how skillfully you've broken through that barrier, too,

fucking savage

These two... He could probably handle these challenging people separately, but together? Together this is just hopeless.

Alas, poor white boy. It's interesting that Cadbury doesn't know an array of separate languages, due to his job as butler. Or am I mistaken, and he does?

if he knew his co-workers were going through similarly frustrating circumstances

> quiqui digging hand into toilet
> bt's body getting seized by rainwater
> vissi having a melodramatic episode because a sheep wont love her

I'd say so.

The Octillery held an expectant, hopeful gaze on the badger's stunned face, even as the badger's eyes flitted here and there.

He does aim to please. :)

I'm glad that this language barrier isn't equating to him being an idiot; I actually see Jean-Georges as very bright! He just has a lot of things working against him in this environment.

You need the visual to copy down, in order to make this work,

YAY PROBLEM SOLVING

I know you were having trouble with all the stuff thrown onto Cadbury in this mission, and I'm happy to see you coming up with great solutions and infusing that confusion into the narrative. Good work!

He grabbed hold of any free tentacle the Octillery had (he wasn't picky)

Oh, I bet he wouldn't be picky so long as there's a tentacle involved.

"Pardon me, sir," the badger said to Carmine, kneeling down and reaching past a couple skinny bird legs to get to his prize.

Ha! Keeping it fresh and reactive. Love it.
​

Qui-Qui, played by Your Daily Vitamins:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

She sniffed as she brushed her snout over her shoulder, scratching her nose on the fur trim.

Ooo, there's something very delicious about your first paragraph as Qui-Qui here: no dialogue, just spending a good moment letting her body language speak for itself. It's all the set-up the audience needs to get exactly what's happening.

hard clop of hooves repositioning themselves, a dry and flaky sort of scratching sound, and a few self-confirming grunts

​

Good thing I made that splash some tacky QVC jewelry; wouldn't want outside viewers to think we're about that nasty potty humor, hm.

she didn't want to try and chat it up with too many pushy preppy types at the auction.

Okay, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

She figured the bathroom was going to at least give her time to collect herself before she had to go out there and rub elbows with all these elites.

I like how you had specific character reasoning for the job you took: makes me wonder if she doesn't like these elites because they'll look down on her, or they remind her too much of her dad (and his fancy kingdom upbringing), or something.

Don't step up in here lookin' busted and ya ain't finna powder a nose, she earlier figured.

Have I mentioned how much I love this jumbled jargon she speaks in, it's so pervasively fun. It lends so much to her personality, what she idealizes, and how she expresses herself - and it's just a blast to read, too. Truly, I love her dialogue.

Standing there in the mess, wide-eyed as her dreadlock pompadour wig slid off-center of her head from her own torque, dripping and soapy towel in her hands, she cleared her throat.

HAHAHAHA FIRST POST, MAKE YOUR CHARACTER A HUGE FUCKING MESS THAT ONLY GETS WORSE THE MORE THEY TRY TO FIX IT 1500/10

I'm so into this. Seriously, points for crafting such a vibrant scenario for me to react to.​

Spoiler:

How do you even put on a necklace, you're a horse?

Our girl is becoming too self-aware, lol. But I like this! The humanistic approach to life doesn't exactly suit a lot of species, and it's fun to see characters play around with the inherit humor of animal-and-otherwise-based creatures trying to fit into a mold that wasn't created or intended for them.

"You're gonna have to pay me extra. My boss said I'm supposed to stay out of the stalls."

​

I bet Carmine said no such thing. Snatch those dollars, QQ.

The fact that she has the audacity to be like "yo i broke it and we could help you theoretically but like no really dont ask but give me that cash money" at the end is beyond choice.

It snapped. Some of the crystals in the disturbance of the water rolled free from the string connecting them together.

OH MY GOD. I literally screamed at this, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I love how you're complicating the scenario for yourself and making conflict. It makes this roleplay so much more action-orientated.

"WOAH WHAT THE FU-I MEAN DAYUM"

​

hey u keep it rated t thx Love it how Qui-Qui somehow knows there's a content rating on the universe she's in.

She scratched at her head, a little bit under her wig.

Um, her real!! hair, thanks.​

Spoiler:

"12 Seconds A Slave"

S T O P im ded

"Because I mucking look like the mucking plumber," she started to spit, hands up and wig vibrating. "Because I hold a towel so I can wipe the horse dook off your flaming ass. Because you think you can hold nice things in your dry clunky brick hooves. Ooooh, I am about to go Primeape up in this."

heheeeee the savagery. Also, (((((vibrates)))))

I love the pokemon swears. Too cute. I like the Primeape reference, makes the world feel more real to me, for some reason.

But just before leaving the toilet, she lifted her foot and slammed her heel angrily onto the trip lever, several times, attempting to flush down the lost crystals out of total, selfish spite.

​

She ends up breaking the toilet a little too, you slay me.

Rinsing out her towel, she rung it out before holding it up by the corners and blew a thin stream of fire over it.

THERE IT IS, using moves for practical work purposes. This tickles my fancy. Also like that detail where she wasn't wholly successful, and ended up leaving burn marks. Excellent.

SCENTED REAL CRYSTAL BEADS 2 FOR 25.

HAHA TRYING TO MAKE EXTRA CASH OFF THIS SET-BACK

Incredibly creative way to get towards your goal. Grill 'em, QQ.​

Spoiler:

She raised a penciled-in eyebrow as this dried, veiny mushroom shambled up to her with her head down.

I think the adjective of "penciled-in" really works in this sentence to convey her condescension and superiority in the field of make-up compared to Aureole for the upcoming conversation. Good detail there, very clever.

OH DAMN BUT SHE WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME, WHAT ABOUT MY MAGIC CRYSTAL SCAM

To say nothing of all the "mucking plumber" and "horse dook off your flaming ass" talk earlier when she thought she was alone. Aureole probably heard all that shit, but doesn't care enough to look past herself.

Yeah, she could do more than sympathize, the image flashed in her mind of a towering pink beast, glaring down over an untouched plate of berries at the kitchen table.

Oh? I'm curious about the significance of this memory right here. Maybe it'll come up later.

the Pokemon's unsettling and sunken pitch-black gaps that resembled a simple, frowning face.

I imagine if you look close enough at the edges of her eyes, they would have a texture like the underside of mushrooms:

​

creepy af

Daiquiri remembered others back in her hometown, the way the elderly trembled just the same as they crossed the bank into the warm river, where their children and other charitable townspeople would help them bathe and wash off the sweat and desert sands.

This, I love this, like ... this is what real people do, have random memories based on quick connections they make, and it's a tasty bit of worldbuilding. Bravo.

so if you wanna look extra, ya gotta pay extra, mmk? ... and we're selling scented crystal beads ... Get the Mothimball smell off your clothes. Suck out wack vibes. Don't get your karma bent and all that ... 25 a pop, Qui-Qui givin' y'all the BEST deals, ya yaaa, you tryna get some?

​

This girl, right here, this girl is my gurl. Never change.​

B.T., played by Ihsaan:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Bun felt a great heaviness in his non-existent heart.

​

He let out the closest he could to a sigh and began weighing his options out.

Hehe, I love how artificial he is. You can easily see the therapy he presumably went through during his month with the PRG, to help him integrate with society. He consciously has to mimic his outward expressions because he can't truly bridge the disconnect between his internal and external dialogue. He's got this great theme of phoniness.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE HERE. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY-

I hope you liked my integration of your backstory into the narrative. :)

I left some of my notes open-ended to allow for things like this (originally, the fundraiser was ambiguously run or I would've just made a company up.) It's great you made some conflict out of it, too: he isn't all buddy-buddy with them, he's in debt. Yes, good stuff.

the newly-evolved Pokemon's tentacles reminded B.T of a rather queer human book he had come across.

Humans may disappear, but their hentai lives on.

the Kabutops looked more like a serial killer than a nurse ... He had no desire to alienate [Vissi], despite how painfully irritating she may be ... HOW DOES ONE GET THE JURY'S APPROVAL WEARING THAT.

#tfw you're savage af but nobody knows shit past your plastic smile

I love that you chose the most irritating customer for BT to personally interact with, I see you're doing your research. Also, I wonder exactly why BT finds Vissi irritating? I like the pre-established notions; they have been working together for some time.​

Spoiler:

B.T was a little miffed at the horrific lawyer's remarks on his stature and tone ...
For some reason, he pitied the boisterous Barabaracle as she whispered her request to him

I intend for Perry to be one of those casually-racist types who has no idea how offensive her speech is, lol. It's neat that B.T. actually finds pity within himself for her, too: I expected him to just go off and settle on hating her, but I suppose he deeply understands what it means to put on a cheery facade and escape. Nice touch.

Due to his 'scrumptious' stature, he was able to navigate swiftly through his guests while at the same time giving them the same pre-recorded pleasantries over and over.

Lol, I imagine a ton of people saying hello back only to find no one to receive their greeting, and quickly trying to brush it off or direct it towards a peer to avoid embarrassment.

He even passed by Cadbury and Jean hard at work…..drawing?

Hey-ey-ey! Shout outs to other players keep everything nice and connected, and it's always cool to know someone's reading your posts. Good on ya.

AUDIBLE SIGH FOLLOWED BY DEAFENING SCREAM IN MY HEAD. OUCH. I SHOULD NOT HAVE YELLED THAT LOUD.

I am a Rotom and I must scream. I'm done, his thoughts are literally vocalized in his head, I'm done.​

Spoiler:

BLUB. BLUB. BLUB. I THINK THAT'S HOW YOU DROWN

hE doeSNT even know how ONE IS SUPPOSED TO DROWWWWWN

I'm cryyyyying.

IT IS AS THOUGH THE RAIN WATER IS TAKING REVENGE FOR ALL ITS WATER BRETHREN THAT HAVE FALLEN TO THE ELECTRIC-TYPES. WHY ARE MY THOUGHTS POETIC.

​

Deep, daddy-o.

He flew out of the bulb in a bid to save his life. The custom-made bulb fell down onto the grass and thankfully, did not break.

This was a great surprise to me as a GM, you turned the small inconvenience I gave you into an interesting life-or-death. This is the kinda shit I love seeing. Really Ihsaan, fantastic creativity here.

too much time outside a device still makes him very uneasy

"Uneasy" is starting to replace "triggered" in my vocabulary.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THEY CLEANED THE GUTTER. I MUST ASK PJ-

PJ:

​

Mundane thoughts always helped B.T keep calm.

Hm, I wonder if this is because his mind is always furiously racing, so the contrast is soothing, or it's a carry-over from his past life.​

Vissi, played by Ech:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Evidently, she realized she had no other choice but to paddle through the thick smog exuded from the lively Poison-types who frequently tended to this tumbledown buffet out on the outskirts of the city.

This is a really cool detail: instead of the typical cigar smoke, it's the thick fumes that naturally come off poison-types. Really great work blending the Pokemon world with this narrative!

she silently observed them and instinctively compared their crude dispositions to the lesser-life forms occasionally found creeping across the floor as black specks.

Ayy, nice touch with the Prey reference. Also, this smug sense of superiority? You nasty, girl.

All the tittle-tattle spouted from Vissi's pudgy friend were utterly drowned out,

It's hard being the fat friend.

Yet most noteworthy to Vissi were the emotions of confusion and misery conveyed by this specimen's visage; she personified this random Heracross as an individual struggling with disappointment and it was a sentiment Vissi empathized with.

You brought back the fucking Heracross from Cicaro's first IC post, I'm crying. He's probably struggling with how conflicted he is about wanting that furret dick, lol.

B U R L Y HORN.

After drawing a few more imaginary comparisons, her fascination grew into a manic obsession, and Vissi unremittingly wondered why she wasn't being approached

She's so needy, oh my god. She's so delusional and literally frustrates herself; it's weird though, I feel like I can sympathize. Of course, Vissi takes it to an extreme, but don't we all idealize people into baser, more romantic forms than they are?

It would have led to a nightmarish experience had it not been for Vissi's friend reeling her back to reality by expressly alerting her.

She'd still tap it, I bet. Lol, it's funny how "being pulled back into reality" is actually "being pulled back into the flashback." Nice irony.

the pink stout sprite snickered at her friend's outlandish behavior, all while she frivolously spun around on her stool.

Fawnie is a bundle of fun, it's been a pleasure reading her in the OOC. She's a nice foil to Vissi, I feel; while both are just as frivolous as the other, the distinct difference is that Fawnie allows herself to be nonsensical and impish, while Vissi takes herself so seriously. I hope Fawnie comes in later IC!

The clear liquid contained within her glass which had been served to her while she was profusely fantasizing was gently suspended into the air and her mundane melody constructed its body into various shapes, all dancing accordingly to the rhythm

Even when she's trying to unwind and mope, she can't help but get brought back to the thing that she's trying to leave. There's really no escape for her, is there?

Have you heard about this place called Precious Paradise? ... if you're willing to spend a little extra on the side, you could even bathe with the owner! Like, oh la la!

BAD RELATIONSHIP

She patted her belly proudly, though the act inadvertently caused her to expel out a tiny burp which was followed by a sheepish apology which was met with a giggle from Vissi.

Cute. <3 Good to see Vissi isn't a huge ice queen.

And, well. I found that coming to this decision was somehow a little too easy and even anti-climatic

It sounds like everything is so much grander in her head, so much more explosive. I wonder if a lot of her problems source from the fact that she just can't deal with how grounded reality actually is?

This substance, which erratically changed in color, began to saturate everyone and everything around Vissi and the entire bistro she and her friend were in began to change as well -- some of this substance even crawled onto her, constricting itself around her neck and fins as green binds.

Oh, surreal dissociation, oh, I wonder where you pulled your inspiration from, oh.

But in seriousness, this section is beautiful, and I love the word "constrict" there - as if she's now trapped by Finer Things, even though she left her career to get a sense of freedom. Vissi's such a conflicted character, oh the poor dear. It's really awesome to hear more about how Vissi got her job, and hint at the relationship Fawnie and Carmine might have.

given some of her co-workers had already taken up on their tasks, it was most likely for an uncomfortable amount of time.

cicaro expy, equipped with her own goro

Vissi happened to be a fan of Delmonico's work, going as far as to say that he may have even influenced her own productions.

Yay for utilizing details of the world! Although I like seeing connections build over the course of the rp, it's also refreshing to see relationships and reputation already having being established; it makes the world more engaging, realistic to me.

She purposely stalled herself in hopes of invoking some sort of reaction from this stunning snack.

Bitch take a sip, you're thirsty.

Spoiler:

Ooo, I like this little feature! How'd you do the little dots? I really appreciate this from a GM standpoint, too.

Also, I know I probably said it in regards to your SU, but your CSS is g o r g e o u s. Fits right along with the aesthetic of the RP, and gives off this old-world class charm. It's a sight for any eyes, sore or otherwise.​

Spoiler:

Acqua di Cristallo

I like this "Special" gimmick you got going on. It lends a Google Search bonus to your posts, and it's funny how Vissi gets so melodramatically fed-up with her duties that water seems like an incredibly expensive commodity, lol.

How could he not notice me? How dare he not notice me! Why, I couldn't have made it any more easy for him!

This duality in her between wanting to drop her fame in favor of discovering herself versus an innate desire to be loved and fawned over is fun to watch. And it's the kind of contradiction that would exist in a real individual, too. I'm going to have fun messing with this.

surreal exhibit of decorative raiment ... Enduring a farrago of branded perfumes and colognes ... accumulation of gewgaws ... elongated groan that expressly sang aggravation

LOL, even a narrative describing her messing about the coat check is littered with high-flown purple prose. It's really fitting; I bet she talks exactly like this in her head and thinks it's deep.

Such a mockery, she derided herself as she cleared her throat in preparation.

Oh my -- she thinks she's too fucking good to be cleaning the coat check; "oh even my body is working against me," *moans in frustration* (leaves after a minute)

SHE'S SO EXTRA

I like the audience bit; she certainly doesn't lack imagination!​

Spoiler:

Her gaze had discovered a sneer and this venomous expression accompanied with that accursed black box filled the Water-type with unease.

Although I get what's being said here, the syntax is a bit wonky. Like two sentences are trying to duke it out, and they ended up merging together.

Vissi broke away from the skunk, her intentions hinted with malice, and she slithered hastily towards the bar

pthhhh she literally just turns the fuck around and walks away; classic, love it.

After taking a seat, Vissi decided to take a wine glass with something clear and discreetly grazed a few samples from the colorful selection, unable to help herself from indulging in a brief collation.

There's this thorough sense of entitlement in Vissi, I've noticed. Like, she's the only one not doing some form of work because it sounds like she's too good for it, so she lumps her self-loathing ass at the bar to drink the customers' booze because she can't be bothered to extend her effort to the kitchen or the sink that's probably right behind the bar to grab herself some proper water.

Does that slattern know who I am?

Slattern. Fuck, where does Vissi even learn this vocab. And then she's moans for Delmonico, like he's some form of prince to save her, when he hasn't said two words to the gal. Pthhhhh.​

Bailey, played by Jauntier:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

red wines, their labels printed with foreign names and listed years from an age when those were well-kept numbers.

I love the way you interpret Gregorian years through Bailey's eyes. To him, they're just "well-kept numbers" that don't mean anything to the current society. It's nice, subtle, and well-crafted worldbuilding that the audience easily picks up on. Just had to point this out: it's delicious.

the Ralts held the lantern by the base as best as his little palms could as he took in every visual reminder to recall his path back out of the vintage labyrinth.

A vintage labyrinth? Be weary, Bailey ... David Bowie might be lurking down there. Also, oh my god he can't even hold the lamp with his little hands ahhhhh he's such a muffin. I love your inclusion of these cute details.

a stagnant chill caressed the boy's skin.

Let us not talk about anything caressing underage skin, please.

"What was it like, the church? What was their vision? What did they stand for?"

​

Oh shucks, how did you know I love worldbuilding? <3 I do appreciate the ability to roleplay myself, and help expose some of the overarching stuff going on. That prying mind might end up being Bailey's biggest asset.

Though I do have to ask myself what I'm doing with PJ ... is that a brogue I'm picking up?

The single viewing window reflected their light right back in a white glint as anything the glass didn't catch was caught by the thin sheet of frost that clung behind it.

Oof, your eloquence and skill at imagery always take me through emotional loops. It's so good, and it's so deceptively simple.

while indeed this room keeps perishable foods considerably iced to use as fresh fodder for services, the head chef left with none.

​

Someone's picking up the juicy details.​

Spoiler:

"Of course I can, Mr. PJ," the small boy said, in response to PJ's concern for carrying the sizeable painting. "I'm Psychic, after all. And if you need any help with what more you're carrying, I can provide!"

I like how Bailey comes off as genuinely sweet, even though his appearance might be disconcerting to some. It shows that he actually has desire to work here and advance himself in some regard. Also, it's so cute he calls PJ "Mister" even though he would absolutely be allowed to just call him by a nickname.

The weight of the wood-backed canvas was no more than a two lanterns, perhaps.

Someone's a visual learner. I wonder if he does this because he himself is of a small scale - and also a child - so that's just the way he's grown accosted to measuring, since I assume he's proficient in math.

Bailey could sense the bulwark of indignation that radiated off of Vissi.

Does he feel things coming off people and make his own interpretation of the emotion or feeling, or is it like ... a flavor?

After all, everyone deserves a smile.

Nuh-uh, that's some scary shit right there. Nope, nope, nope.

Bailey took a peek behind the painting he levitated in front of him, looking for any writing or abnormality of note.

Nice! This is some good proactivity towards uncovering Secrets and the like. I wonder if he'll be successful?​

 

[Ech]

Look at this critical commentary. Absolutely atrocious. 7/10, too many memes.

Anyways, I feel it'd be a waste not to make use of this thread, and by extension, the forums. I want to reply back to some things, since some of your insight and interpretations intrigue me.

Spoiler:

B U R L Y HORN.

LISTEN I WAS TRYING TO REFERENCE THE FACT MALE HERACROSS COULD BE DISTINGUISHED FROM THEIR HORNS, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I hope Fawnie comes in later IC!

I'm gonna be real here, I'm fucking dying at how popular this "joke" character is becoming, to the point she's practically overshadowing Vissi. Also, I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who legitimately likes Lil Fawn, but she is definitely not going to show up in the IC outside flashbacks. Assuming Kiyo lets us bring in NPCs at some point, I'm actually throwing in Vissi's brother instead, as well as someone very unexpected.

Cute. <3 Good to see Vissi isn't a huge ice queen.

I WANT PEOPLE TO FIND VISSI ENDEARING, SHE'S NOT ALL THAT BAD, PLEASE LIKE MY POST AND SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL

I mean, if you think Vissi is cold, just wait until you see her extremist left-wing brother (the one who wears Cicaro's scarf) who serves as her evil counterpart.

It sounds like everything is so much grander in her head, so much more explosive. I wonder if a lot of her problems source from the fact that she just can't deal with how grounded reality actually is?

Tbh, I've been thinking it the other way around; Vissi suffers from the realization that, deep down, she's not all that special. She compensates her personal shortcomings by being lyrical as possible. This quirk is actually a jab at myself, as I've noticed - and some of you have also pointed this out - I have this habit of making my posts incredibly dense for no real reason. Admittedly, this is something I do whenever I feel my writing isn't good enough, which is frequent.

Oh, surreal dissociation, oh, I wonder where you pulled your inspiration from, oh.

I want Vissi to fuck Cicaro.

Yay for utilizing details of the world! Although I like seeing connections build over the course of the rp, it's also refreshing to see relationships and reputation already having being established; it makes the world more engaging, realistic to me.

I actually think I downplayed this aspect too much; Vissi kinda forgets about Delmonico later on. Granted, she should be focused on her work and whatever else is occurring in the present but like, if I were working at some gay bistro and some hot-shot stud I happened to be a huge fan of dropped by, I'd be like "FUCK WORK, PLEASE SIGN MY TITS."

I did enjoy the fact that you made Del completely ignore Vissi though, as honestly that would be the most likely outcome for someone who simply idled about, expecting a person to come over to them.

Ooo, I like this little feature! How'd you do the little dots? I really appreciate this from a GM standpoint, too.

I used Photoshop and just dotted them, lol. I mean, you spent like eons designing these maps, so I figured it wouldn't make any sense for us not to make full use of them. Plus, I personally always struggled understanding where exactly everyone is, even if they describe everything thoroughly. I guess I've always had a hard time visualizing details like that strictly from text. I'm just a dumb, please don't make fun of me.

I like this "Special" gimmick you got going on. It lends a Google Search bonus to your posts, and it's funny how Vissi gets so melodramatically fed-up with her duties that water seems like an incredibly expensive commodity, lol.

LOOK AT THAT, GM LIKED MY 'BORING' GIMMICK. Y'ALL WHO WERE BASHING ON ME FOR IT CAN GO SUCK IT

I'm hoping I can be super clever and subtle with these, though. My last post was literally just paper, like, terrible.

Oh my -- she thinks she's too fucking good to be cleaning the coat check; "oh even my body is working against me," *moans in frustration* (leaves after a minute)

Can we take a moment to stress out the fact that Vissi is literally the only one who's not doing any work?

Although I get what's being said here, the syntax is a bit wonky. Like two sentences are trying to duke it out, and they ended up merging together.

It was totally intentional, given the whole duality theme and shit

Hmm, I think while writing out Vissi's reaction to Claudette, I also wanted Vissi to cringe at the sight of a camera, considering she probably had a lot of bad experiences with them during her former career. I actually almost made an error by stating as if Vissi doesn't know what a camera is. She most likely does.

Slattern. Fuck, where does Vissi even learn this vocab.

I want Vissi's use of extensive vocabulary and her dialogue to come off as "awkward", hopefully in an endearing manner at least. I want that to serve a hint to how exactly she was raised, as her upbringing is anything but orthodox. I mentioned this before but, Fawnie's voice was actually going to be Vissi's. However, that would have made Vissi sound too immature and bubbly which wasn't what I was going for.

Anyways, that was a fun read! I wanted to comment on your quips for the others, but I feel it's best if they respond back first. So I hope you know that all that effort on writing all that out wasn't for naught (even though only like five people will read this). I kinda hope this encourages everyone to also share their own commentary on the IC posts. It's just interesting to know how everyone interprets each scene from each character.

 

[Aquacorde]

i like where ur going w vissi but im still not gonna like ur su ech

 

[Afterglow Ampharos]

Cadbury, played by Afterglow Ampharos:

Spoiler:

The octopus seemed octopied -- er, occupied, rather -- behind the bar with his many arms.

This brings up a neat question though: are you writing your narrative as if Cadbury were narrating his own life in third person, or simply making the narrative fit Cadbury's personality?

In this case I didn't have either option in mind. At some point you will find the narrative reflecting Cadbury's thought processes, but when I make that switch I feel it's rather obvious, so it shouldn't be any trouble differentiating.

For example, when I write "He'd seen the busboy at work, and he'd gotten the impression that tentacles are rather unwieldy appendages to own. At least the way Jean-Georges brandished them. Cadbury could only chalk it up to the jarring transition from no arms, to eight of them. And not a joint or bone to be found among the lot of them."
or "Hm. That came out a little more blunt than he'd have liked."
those are instances of the narrative reflecting Cadbury's thought processes. (And obviously if I italicize text en masse, it's a direct look into his exact thoughts.)

Hm. That came out a little more blunt than he'd have liked.

Nice touch here, it gives me the impression that Cadbury is always tweaking himself. Though he stated his thought very eloquently, he still finds something to criticize and keep in mind for later. It's a tasty narrative detail.

I thought it was really funny how Cadbury feels the need to analyze and comment on all of the tasks available instead of just taking one, for god's sake. And then he ends without choosing one, lol.

Thank you! That's just the kind of thing this guy fusses over.

The busboy's eyes brightened as they looked at Cadbury, and he gave a quick nod.

I love that now it's established that he doesn't fully grasp the spoken word, this scene is literally Jean-Georges bullshiting Cadbury.

Well I figured he understood bits and pieces at least.

the cephalopod climbed up and over the counter of the bar

I have to say, I adore how you expanded upon Jean-Georges' concept here. This is totally something he would do, and it's one of my favorite details in this post. Good creativity!

I didn't expect this to be your favourite part! But it is charmingly goofy locomotion. Wonder if the bar would leave suction cup marks too...

Cadbury would be inclined to call his apparel a deep stromboli green, but that word didn't mean much to most of the people he conversed with.

I noticed that wording in your SU too, and it's neat you call back to it here. It's cute how Cadbury describes the pattern of his tie by using a food as an adjective, demonstrating his life in service.

Oh. Did it come off that way? Neat. Honestly, I was just using what what particular shade of green is called when I used one of those "name that colour" websites. :B

A good pen, at that, not a cheap variety.

This bitch is so extra, is it plated with fucking gold? Cadbury, pleaseeeee. This is great.

Oh, it's simply the difference between this and this.

He was about to ask "You can write, can't you?" but he had just realized how rude that sounds

Ugh, again, love hearing Cadbury's mental process. He's an uptight little man that's so deliberate, so thoughtful, almost plotting in a way. He'd totally care about not being a straight-up ass to the poor octo-treasure, and it's refreshing to me that Cadbury genuinely gives a shit about being nice. Like, I'm very boisterous and ostentatious in my personal life, but I make it a point of being really polite and nice at my profession; and I bet that goes double for our badger friend here.

I'm really pleased that all of that comes through. Thank you! But no, Cadbury is not boisterous and ostentatious in his personal life, ufufu

​

Awesome that you chose this Wedge Caeser Salad dish: not only do I feel that Finer Things would serve something this pretentious, it's a thoughtful choice to stretch out those artistic muscles on Jean-Georges!

I was thinking more like this shape of wedge, myself.

LOL HE CHOSE THE LEAST PATIENT CUSTOMER IN THE WHOLE BATCH OF VIPS

It's interesting that Cadbury doesn't know an array of separate languages, due to his job as butler. Or am I mistaken, and he does?

I hadn't put any thought into it, namely because I understood that Pokemon all spoke one language.

YAY PROBLEM SOLVING

I know you were having trouble with all the stuff thrown onto Cadbury in this mission, and I'm happy to see you coming up with great solutions and infusing that confusion into the narrative. Good work!

Phew!

Qui-Qui, played by Your Daily Vitamins:

Spoiler:

It snapped. Some of the crystals in the disturbance of the water rolled free from the string connecting them together.

I literally screamed at this, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I love how you're complicating the scenario for yourself and making conflict. It makes this roleplay so much more action-orientated.

"WOAH WHAT THE FU-I MEAN DAYUM"

hey u keep it rated t thx Love it how Qui-Qui somehow knows there's a content rating on the universe she's in.

SCENTED REAL CRYSTAL BEADS 2 FOR 25.

HAHA TRYING TO MAKE EXTRA CASH OFF THIS SET-BACK

Incredibly creative way to get towards your goal. Grill 'em, QQ.

I liked these a lot too!

"Because I mucking look like the mucking plumber,"

I love the pokemon swears. Too cute.

I think that's just automatic, my good man. Though it can be turned off, it's enabled by default.

Daiquiri remembered others back in her hometown, the way the elderly trembled just the same as they crossed the bank into the warm river, where their children and other charitable townspeople would help them bathe and wash off the sweat and desert sands.

This, I love this, like ... this is what real people do, have random memories based on quick connections they make, and it's a tasty bit of worldbuilding. Bravo.

Huh, I didn't really think about it! Good catch by Kiyo and good writing by Vitamins!

B.T., played by Ihsaan:

Spoiler:

He even passed by Cadbury and Jean hard at work…..drawing?

Hey-ey-ey! Shout outs to other players keep everything nice and connected, and it's always cool to know someone's reading your posts. Good on ya.

I agree, it was nice to see you kept in mind that other critters are doing their own jobs around you, and you noticed them IC.

IT IS AS THOUGH THE RAIN WATER IS TAKING REVENGE FOR ALL ITS WATER BRETHREN THAT HAVE FALLEN TO THE ELECTRIC-TYPES. WHY ARE MY THOUGHTS POETIC.

That last sentence got me so good.

Vissi, played by Ech:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Ooo, I like this little feature! How'd you do the little dots? I really appreciate this from a GM standpoint, too.

Also, I know I probably said it in regards to your SU, but your CSS is g o r g e o u s. Fits right along with the aesthetic of the RP, and gives off this old-world class charm. It's a sight for any eyes, sore or otherwise.

I bet that would be useful for some of our posts too, that map there. In case you want to share, that is, Ech. I mean we don't have to always do it but I might want to do it if location at any point becomes confusing. Would that be helpful for you Ech, including maps of our locations, or so far do you have a good grasp of wherever everyone is? Also, I agree about the CSS.

I mean, if you think Vissi is cold, just wait until you see her extremist left-wing brother (the one who wears Cicaro's scarf)

Are you sure you want to include that scarf? It was discussed earlier how we don't intend to make this Cornered 2, we want it to be its own thing, and so far I'm seeing a lot of references to Cornered in these OOC commentaries -- which is ok OOC, but once you bring it so blatantly/directly into the IC, I'm no longer sure.