Serious After Almost 7 Years Still Lonely

Raskolnikov

Raskolnikov

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    • 195
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    9
    Years
    Hi everyone.

    I wasn't around for a long time. Like really long time. I'm back or anything but just wanted to share my feelings. In a nutshell: I was 16-17 years old when I've become member in this forum. Loved this place because I loved Pokémon. I was having lots of problems with my environment, family etc. So I closed myself to outside and spent more time with internet, tried to create a new circle for me. I guess I also failed that. After some time I had to go back to reality to take some responsibilities. Ever since I hadn't come back.

    Recently, I was in need of nostalgia and found a hackrom named Blaze Black 2 Redux. I was just looking at some guides to find something particular and I re-discovered this beautiful place of internet. I felt great and sad at the same time - sweet sadness of nostalgia - then checked my biology. God. I swear some tears shed from my eyes. Besides how cringy my bio and my self birthday celebration message is, it is tremendously sad that nothing much has changed since then...

    In a nutshell again: Me 23yo now, 2nd grade college student, still having problems with keeping healthy relationships with people, had some romantic partners but broken up with them in tragic ways, almost broke (thanks to my government too(!) )and so on...

    17 yo me said:
    To my personal life; It is not good. Yeah. I'm a little quiet and shy. Also lonely. In real life I don't have much friends. Also, I don't want to have friends because I don't see a person can be close to me somehow. People are weird. Of course I respect them but it is better to stay away for now I believe.
    I spent most of times on internet or books. Forums, Facebook, or other websites are my social places (Especially Facebook).
    Click to expand...
    They aren't weird, my friend. You are the weird one. I'm sorry but after all those years, getting know a lot of more people, you are the weird and anormal one.

    In conclusion I would like to add I'm also not completely doomed. I'm not gonna give details but I'm still struggling, trying to improve myself and build my career slowly. I have failed and wasted my youth but at least I can save my late adulthood.

    Thank you if you've read so far. Just wanted to share my feelings. Loved the PC community and I always will.
     
    Raskolnikov said:
    Hi everyone.

    I wasn't around for a long time. Like really long time. I'm back or anything but just wanted to share my feelings. In a nutshell: I was 16-17 years old when I've become member in this forum. Loved this place because I loved Pokémon. I was having lots of problems with my environment, family etc. So I closed myself to outside and spent more time with internet, tried to create a new circle for me. I guess I also failed that. After some time I had to go back to reality to take some responsibilities. Ever since I hadn't come back.

    Recently, I was in need of nostalgia and found a hackrom named Blaze Black 2 Redux. I was just looking at some guides to find something particular and I re-discovered this beautiful place of internet. I felt great and sad at the same time - sweet sadness of nostalgia - then checked my biology. God. I swear some tears shed from my eyes. Besides how cringy my bio and my self birthday celebration message is, it is tremendously sad that nothing much has changed since then...

    In a nutshell again: Me 23yo now, 2nd grade college student, still having problems with keeping healthy relationships with people, had some romantic partners but broken up with them in tragic ways, almost broke (thanks to my government too(!) )and so on...

    17 yo me said: They aren't weird, my friend. You are the weird one. I'm sorry but after all those years, getting know a lot of more people, you are the weird and anormal one.

    In conclusion I would like to add I'm also not completely doomed. I'm not gonna give details but I'm still struggling, trying to improve myself and build my career slowly. I have failed and wasted my youth but at least I can save my late adulthood.

    Thank you if you've read so far. Just wanted to share my feelings. Loved the PC community and I always will.
    Click to expand...

    Sorry to hear things are this way, however I'd recommend checking this club out for sure as a potential place to air out concerns and such in the future.

    I hope things continue to go forwards for you!
     
    I don't wanna be one of those people who says, "don't worry, it gets better!" or give you empty platitudes without knowing the full context of your situation - but as someone who was "stuck" (in multiple ways) for about 10 years and accomplished nothing worthwhile to show for that period, I just wanna say that I know where you're coming from and that you're not alone. In fact, I'm willing to bet many, many people here can relate to you.

    Remember, happiness is a choice - and you don't need certain things in your life to achieve that happiness either. Find that balance within yourself and, if nothing you do is working, reach out to a professional. It's good to hear you haven't lost hope, because we're all works-in-progress and are going to be for our entire natural lives. But nowhere does that mean you can't find gratification and contentedness within yourself.

    Best of luck to you.
     
    I'm sort of in the same boat, but years behind. I wasted my teens AND my 20's. Now I'm in my 30's with nothing to show for it but multiple people who think I'm a failure.

    I'm still not sure if I can improve my situation, but we can work on it simultaneously. I know how you feel.
     
    I know how you feel as well. I've only had one relationship. It was extremely damaging and also ended in a terrible way. I'm bad at maintaining friendships too. Either I get ghosted after a while or the other person ghosts me. I'm bad at opening up irl too, so I rarely make new friends in person. The friendships I do have are nice, but since I rarely get to talk to many of them they don't feel as meaningful as they could be. I wish I had advice, but I sadly I don't. What I can do is say I completely empathize.
     
    Raskolnikov said:
    Hi everyone.

    Spoiler:
    Click to expand...

    Ugh, I'm 18 as of now, and there is something that SCREAMS relatable to me. I too feel like I'm slowly losing grip of people around me, curling into myself.

    I too find a strange, homey feel in here, around people that probably don't know what I talk about, they probably don't share my interests, but they still listen here, unlike my so-called IRL friends who probably have a pasttime called, "Laugh at Retek".

    I have been with them for years, and never I felt... me around them. Like I was trying to be a version of myself that is acceptable by them, and I kept failing at it, thus letting them laugh at me.

    TBH the closest I have felt to being me is here.

    I genuinely hope that you get some of that with your stay here again.

    Welcome back!
     
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