Antidote

[Blue Screen of Death]

Rating: PG 13 for mutating stuff.

Prologue: You

Hey, what is that?" Someone near you says, pointing at the sky.

You look up, only to see a long, blue streak across the otherwise clear night sky.

"I have no idea." You say, even though you know perfectly well what it is.

The Dread comet has come.

You, as an astronomer,have just returned from a space station, in orbit high above our planet.

You have known of the comets coming for years.

Yet, there was nothing you could do about it. For all you know, this celestial collection of rock and ice could mean the end. Or it could mean a new beginning.

You have studied this cosmic traveler from afar, only to find out that it has highly mutagenic properties. This is obviously not good for anything near it.

That means that it being right above your planet is not good. Who could know how it will effect you.

You turn to the man next to you, only to see him break out in red spots, and fall to the ground.

Next, you look at yourself. You see your bare feet in the sand, on the beach. They are green.

You scream, but in vain. The color everywhere on your body changes to this horrible shade of green, and you feel your toes extend into the ground, and your fingers become bigger, changing into large, yellow pedals.

As your last movement, you look up at the thing that caused this, that dreaded comet, and scream once more.

You sit there for days, in state of paralysis, only being able to think. You have realized the effect the comet had on you, it turned you into a plant. Not any known plant, but you have lost every human trait, only to have them replaced by that of a Sunflower. So one would assume you are a giant, mutant Sunflower.

As you stand there, in the sand, you realize that you may have to live the rest of your life like this. Your only other choice is the attempt to will yourself to death.

You, of course, choose the latter.

As you attempt this incredibly unlikely feat, a voice rings out in your mind.

"Stop what you are doing, it won't work." The voice says, confirming your doubts about this choice.

"What was that?" You think, not knowing whether or not it was real.

"I am from the future, I have come to show you what will happen." The mysteriously familiar voice replies, causing a feeling in your body that one would assume flying is like.

As this feeling continues, you hear the voice say to you "We will travel four years into the future, to a time where humans are rare, but us Pokemon have changed. We will watch a tale unravel in which two beings, named Floyd and Samuel, will stop the curse cast upon our world by the Dread comet, and save the human race. It is a story I like to call Antidote."
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I thought I would write the whole thing before posting it, but I decided to keep a chapter ahead. So you actually are getting a chapter every time I finish one, just not the chapter I most recently wrote.

 

[Buoysel]

I like the idea, but only really good scripts are allowed. (see Rules)

My advice, re-write this so that it is not a script, and then I'll read it again. You have originality on your side, so I think you will do okay.

 

[Percy Thrillington]

Hm, it seems pretty interesting. You described the mutation scene very well with the eye character, I must admit, and I like the blunt, choppy sentence style you're using. It looks pretty good so far but the prologue was a bit short. Yes, I know that it's only a prologue, but your chapters should be a bit longer than that.

You, as an astronomer,have just returned from a space station, in orbit high above our planet.

That was the only mistake I could find. There should be a space after the comma.

Other than that, keep it up. I'll check out the next chapter.

Is this based on the roleplay or is it the other way around?

 

[Blue Screen of Death]

Buoysel, this is not a script. A script looks like this.

George: Hi Joe!
Joe: Hi George!
See? My story doesn't even resemble a script.

And Rekhyt, this is based on the RP, as this is the remake of the story used for the RP.

 

[Monkeymon]

Hey, nice job Supahfunk, I rather enjoyed it. I could only find the mistake that Rekhyt mentioned, so it is currently on my 'bug you about it for an hour' list. I'll probably harrass you about it at school

 

[Sydian]

Buoysel, this is not script. This is second person, which is allowed, but is not typically recommended.

Anyway, SupahFunk, nice job. Much better than previous works I've seen from when you had first joined PC.

 

[Blue Angel]

You, as an astronomer,have just returned from a space station, in orbit high above our planet.

This is the only error I saw. Do you see it?

There needs to be a space after every comma, so between "," and "have" there should be a space.

Besides that nothing wrong. I'll admit mutation of humans into plants or other things seems strange, but unique and original.

Good luck with your story, I'll be back to read more when you have it ^^

 

[Blue Screen of Death]

Thanks you guys and girl. About your review Silversmearglesplatter, I agree, I did write one really bad story, it is the monstrosity known as 'A twin adventure' , and it was not good (yes, I am willingly admitting it.)

 

[Blue Screen of Death]

Chapter one: Mt. Varian.

"What are we doing here?" You ask him.

"I am here to show you the salvation of man, you are here to watch." He replies in a stoic tone.

"Okay then." You say, looking around at your surroundings. You are in a long purple tunnel, moving forward at a fast rate. Every now and then you see a hole in one of the sides, revealing a quick glimpse of what is happening outside this area. These holes are confusing though, as one hole passes you see a young boy in the prime of his youth, then in the next you see him as an elderly person.

You turn back to the mysterious Alakazam who brought you here and ask "What is going on with these holes?"

"These holes are glimpses into different periods of time, you just saw your great grandfather."

You think about this for a little bit, and decide not to question any further.

"We're almost there," You hear this time traveling pokemon say, "There are a few things you should know. No one will be able to see us, and nothing they do can effect us. That goes for everything else, we are completely unnoticeable to anyone but each other. Due to our physical form however, we can still effect the world around us, to a certain extent, and that is why I brought you here. While you are here, you are linked to the ones named Floyd and Samuel, and you will help them whenever possible. Once you succeed in what you must do, you will be returned to your own time, and will morph back into a human."

This is a lot of information to take in at once, but only one thing confused you, "Are you coming with me?"

"No, this is for you alone." He replies, adding "This is where we must separate, I hope for your sake that you succeed, I truly do."

At this he disappears and you fall through one of the holes in the tunnel.

As you fall, you realize that you are high above the clouds, and you think "It's cold up here."

You feel the moisture around you as you pass through a cloud, and you realize that you are falling to the ground at quite a rapid rate, from a very high place.

So, obviously, you scream.

The whole way down your shrieks can be heard, until you hit the ground. Not that you actually are on the ground, but you are floating about a foot above it.

Slowly, you try stepping onto the ground. As your toes reach it you can tell that you can stand on solid ground.

As you look around at the grassy meadow around you, you wonder if you can still float like that.

You decide to try stepping backwards, to see if that spot where you where floating still makes you float.

Unsurprisingly, it doesn't.

As you stand there wondering what is happening, you see a red flash streak across the meadow, followed by an equally fast streak of green.

As you make your way over to where you saw this odd phenomenon, it happens again, this time it is coming right for you.

As you recoil in shock, these things just pass right through you.

Slowly, you regain your previous position, and watch what is happening.

The red and green streaks continue, going back and forth through the meadow, always chasing one another. Eventually, they slow down, and you realize what they are.

A Flareon and a Sceptile.

This does not surprise you too much, but what they do next does.

"Wow Sam, you're getting better." The Flareon says, while finding a suitable spot to sit down.

"Well, I have been sneaking in some practice while you weren't around Floyd." The Sceptile replies, also finding a spot to sit.

This is almost to much to handle at once, not only are pokemon talking, but they are the two that Alakazam was talking about. So, you too sit down.

After a few seconds you stand up again and walk over to them, to attempt to speak to them.

"Hello," You say, reaching out to them, "do you know where we are?"

They keep talking as if you hadn't said anything, so you try again.

"Excuse me, do you know where we are?" You ask again, tapping the Sceptile on its shoulder.

Except you don't actually tap it, your hand simply goes right through it.

Then you remember "I'm like a ghost here."

As you stand there, waiting for the pokemon to get up and leave, you decide to finally take a good look around you.

You can tell that the meadow is big, but you can see a few trees on the horizon, and what looks like a mountain that is not quite so far away.

Except this mountain has black smoke billowing out of its peak.

"This is no mountain," You think, realizing the frightening truth "This is a Volcano!" You turn to see if the others see this, only to see that they don't.

As you remember from your years in school, smoke rising out of a Volcano is not good. Neither is what happens next.

The ground starts shaking, and you hear a loud explosion, causing you to jump and turn back to the source, only to wish you hadn't.

The volcano has shown its true colors, and it is covered with so much lava, it is now only visible as red.

This time Floyd and Samuel see what's happening, on account of the explosion, and quickly turn and run.

Except they don't know that an invisible and wieghtless knot is wrapped around them, and they are dragging you along with them.

You hear the Flareon shout "I thought Mt. Varian wasn't supposed to erupt for another week!"

The Sceptile replies by saying "Who cares, we need to get to the village and warn everyone!

You think "Mt. Varian, where am I?" Knowing only that the last place you where in was Jubilife, near the beach.

But you don't much time to think about these things, considering that you are barely keeping up with these incredibly fast pokemon.

As you near the village, or what you assume is the village, you hear Floyd and Samuel franticly shout "Run! Everybody run! Mt. Varain is erputing!"

This, of course, causes much chaos among the villagers.

Pokemon are running all over the place shouting "Get to the boats! We need to get out of here!"

This amazes you immensely, a whole village of talking pokemon. You also see human aspects in these pokemon.

Market stalls all over are being plundered for any treasures they might hold, be it fruit or jewelry, clothes or weaponry, nothing is spared.

Then you feel yourself being tugged again, this time in the same direction the rest of the villagers are heading.

As you pass through the crowds with ease due to your ghostly form, you see a large body of water appear, and you assume it is an ocean.

You also see many wooden boats about the size of two canoes, moored along the beached, and each on is being pushed out in turn, including the one you got into.

Except there is a slight problem with this escape route. Every boat that gets out far enough to row with enough force to gain a considerable amount of speed sinks.

Except the one you are in isn't, and you are wondering why.

Then you feel the wet spot on your leg.

As you lift your leg to see the cause, water starts spewing in at an incredible rate.

There is a hole in your boat, and you leg is the only thing covering it. This is not enough to completely cover the hole, so you rip off part of the sleeve on your shirt and jam it in the hole. It doesn't help much, but it will suffice.

As you turn back to the beach, you realize that it was an Island, and that you are on the only boat that made it.

For two days you drift aimlessly in the ocean, and you have gathered a few facts from your only shipmates.

One, you just escaped from an island know as Kiklan, and that it used to be part of Sinnoh.

Two, technology seems to have regressed, and has been replaced by much more medieval things.

Three, no one has seen the main land in four years, not long after a large earthquake broke apart much of the land.

Four, Mt. Varian rose when the island finally stopped drifting at such a pace that was noticeable to the naked eye.

As you find out, the need for food and water is still part of you, as it is for Floyd and Samuel.

"Water. Food. Anything edible!" Floyd moans, raising his paw at nothing and abruptly dropping it.

"Oh, I could go for one of your mothers oran berry pies right about now." Samuel adds, covering his eyes with one of his arms.

According to your count, it is now day five of your aimless drifting, and there is no land in sight.

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You like?

 

[Astinus]

I've looked and I've looked, but I just don't see how this could be confused as a script fic.

SupahFunk (and holy...did I typo that badly), I highly suggest that you read DP479's Grammar and You: Dialogue Post. You keep making mistakes punctuating dialogue correctly. I'm not going to point out all the instances, since the guide does a good job explaining things.

And because I'm way behind on reading two stories and am in the middle of a detailed review for another story, I don't have the time yet to read/review your story. I'm just letting you know of your mistake so you can fix it.